Reading Reviews for Collision
  
30 Reviews Found

Review #1, by looneylizzie Coffee

5th April 2015:
CTF - Round 2 - Jailbreak Post

Jess! Once again, I really really really love this story. It's so well done and so intriguing. Every chapter I somehow am left absolutely satisfied with Freya and James' adorableness, but left with more and more questions about both of their pasts.

Also, Neha - Asexual aromantic huh? I hope you expand on that a bit. I've NEVER seen a character like that before, and I'd love to see that expanded a bit more.

Freya getting there early before their date and waiting nervously is really telling about her personality. Little details like that (and that she corrects James' language) give us so much insight into who she is.

Oh, and James. I love his polite nature. He's such a gentleman, which is really different from how he's been portrayed in other stories I've read. You give him both a lighthearted and jokey side, and a serious and dark side that I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT!

Please keep writing this story! I hope you've still got it in the works!

LL

#themFatLadies

Author's Response: WELL, HELLO AGAIN

they're so fluffy it almost kills me. I wish I *had* held back a little relationship movement wise in this though. ah, the woes of looking back on your writing eh ;) always finding imperfections

totally if I ever continue with this story (it'll probably undergo editing at some point before I continue) I absolutely wanted to delve into neha's character SO SO MUCH especially considering how her culture influences her sexuality and the reception it has.

I really hope I get the muse to come back to this! maybe not this exact 100% story, but I think I'd really love to come back to some of the general themes and ideas in this story :D

I was really inspired by 'Chicks Before Broomsticks' if you've read that so I think perhaps even a re-write with rose or roxanne or dom or another female weasley to replace james. I'd love to see how the dynamics of freya having a son would go down with that too ^.^

thanks for the review!!

- jess, xo


 Report Review

Review #2, by Unicorn_Charm - Round 2 Coffee

5th April 2015:
*Attack Post*

Aww Jess! This chapter was so cute! It makes me sad that I haven't read this before CTF and was just a little bit lost as to what was going on. I'm definitely going to have to go back and read from the beginning. But, I'll review this chapter for now, please forgive if I ask something that probably would have been answered in the previous chapter. :)

This really was the fluffiest of fluff, but I loved it. From what I can tell, Freya and James did not meet in the best conditions, which would be why they were meeting up for him to apologize for something. But you could definitely tell they were attracted to each other. They were definitely all flirty. That line about the cake and Vegas had me cracking up.

Now I'm wondering how they met, why she's hiding the fact that she had a son and what's going to happen next. Obviously she's a muggle, since he lied about playing Qudditch. I'm sure that must have been lovely when that kid came up to him. He handled it well though.

But this seems like a really good story. I'm glad I "attacked" this one! I'll be back! :)

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: HOWDY THERE

SORRY THIS RESPONSE HAS TAKEN SO LONG

wow. I'm not even sure how I FEEL about this story any more. it's kind of sort of on hold until I get my act together lol. it's weird to see a review on it after so long

no worries though! I totally understand how chaotic ctf was ♥

SO MUCH FLUFF YASS THIS USED TO BE MY PRIZED POSSESSION IN TERMS OF FLUF

yes you are right. during their meeting, james spilt coffee ALL OVER the shop she works in. he was meeting up with lily who was currently in the dressing rooms. freya thought james was gonna steal some jewellery lol. also yes, she is 100% muggle :)

thanks for the read!

and well done with CTF!!

- jess, xo


 Report Review

Review #3, by looneylizzie Magic

9th February 2015:
Loving this story so far! It's so great to read about a Muggle's introduction to magic. Makes me think about what I'd do if I found out it was real. Probably freak out.

I also love that Spencer and James get along so well. That's the beauty of kids, they're so accepting of things so easily.

And Victoire's entrance! I love it! I hope she has a bigger role, especially since it seems like she does work in Mental Health, and Freya clearly needs a little bit of that.

What happened to James? It sounds really sad. Did someone die? I feel like that happened. Someone he was really close to, and it was caused by something particularly difficult. Poor Jamesie!

Anyway, keep updating!! Can't wait for more! Your writing is so good and this story is amazing!

LL

Author's Response: Hi - thank you so much! I think Freya handles it quite well, to be honest. If this happened to me I'd probably -- well, no actually, I think I'd be ecstatic rather than even a little bit afraid haha :D

Children really are wonderful. It perhaps would hsve been more interesting to write about an unaccepting Spencer but I just couldn't resist on the cute factor :p

Victoire is going to be a semi-big character, too! One of my main focals of the cousins, at any rate. Perhaps second only to Lily.

James' backstory is going to be exposed later in the story, but I will hint and let you know you are INCREDIBLY close ;) very very very close, only minutely wrong. But poor him, yes! Both he and Freya have tragic Mary Sue/Gary Stu backgrounds but I'm trying to work with them to make them less cliché and more dynamic.

Thank you so much for this lovely review :)

- Jess, xo


 Report Review

Review #4, by Secret Santa Secrets

22nd December 2014:
Hi again! :)

I laughed out loud when Freya asked if James could perform at Spencer's birthday party, haha. The whole interaction was very believable and in character for the two of them. I'm glad that James immediately accepted Spencer (as I suspected he would!). It makes sense that Freya would be immediately freaked out by James being a wizard, it would be pretty overwhelming, but then she has curiosity once she'd calmed down which feels very relatable.

Lily is just such a great, unique character and her being a Squib makes her even more interesting. I think you've done a really good job so far in this story of showing diverse characters and identities and Lily definitely shows that. I liked how she helped put things in perspective for Freya and hinted at the problems that James has had in the past year. You do a really good job of dropping hints that are answered or addressed later.

I loved their reunion and it shows how while they admit that they have a lot to work out, the emotions are there and are more important. Their relationship moved fast but I feel like sharing their secrets will bring them closer together and in love.

I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this story, and will be back for some more gifts soon! As well as keeping an eye out for the next chapter! :)

Author's Response: HELLO SANTA (trying to come up with new ways to say hey each time is difficult)

YES -- IT'S REALISTIC! I'm so so happy to get this feedback. Figuring out HOW to write the initial explanations was so difficult for me because I wanted to freak Freya out but I also needed to factor in that I was going to have her laugh most of the idea off (like she did with thinking he's a magician). Again, showing her trying to rationalise situations into something she knows. Howeverrr she does get a little curious after a while, like the rest of us :p

I must credit the idea of Lily being a squib to another fanfiction writer (lord knows I can't remember the fic anymore though) and I read their wonderful story and it got me thinking -- like, Lily would be so cool as a Squib! Can you imagine?! Harry Potter's only daughter non-magical?! She'd break down barriers whilst being totally awe-inspiring at the same time. She'd revolutionise being a Squib! She'd make it cool. (Also I really wanted a character who goes to Uni. I can totally imagine Lily being super philosophical about her psychology :p)

I think readers will definitely be surprised at JUST HOW MANY hints and nudges to later events are in these early chapters. It certainly helps I have basic chapter outlines done already.

Thank you so so much for this lovely set of reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed the read and I hope to see you back soon (as yourself, perhaps) though don't worry I'm not holding you to anything :p only review again if you want to I won't hunt you down or anything haha.

Have a wonderful Christmas, lovely! Or if you don't celebrate that have a wonderful day anyway :)

xo


 Report Review

Review #5, by Secret Santa Photographs

22nd December 2014:
Hello again! :)

Ooh, such an exciting chapter! I'll start at the beginning. I'm glad that Freya addressed why she's afraid to tell James about her son because that made sense. I liked how she admitted that she wasn't being completely logical, but it was more of an emotional reaction to the way she was treated in the past which does make sense. I'm actually kind of impressed that she managed to keep Spencer a secret for so long because that definitely takes a lot of control.

There were so many cute moments in this and I could really feel the connection between the two of them. The lines where they fall into the lake and "collide" were just beautiful and fit so nicely with the title as well. It really suits the story and I love how they met by colliding and it keeps happening.

The scene with the camera man and where Freya discovers the things in James' pocket was so exciting. I felt like she had very realistic reactions, like how she tried to rationalize the things she was seeing instead of confront them because it's more logical, like with the moving photograph where she tried to figure out how it could be logically explained.

The moment where they both discovered hints about the other person's secret was so dramatic, ahh!! I can't wait to find out more about how they're going to explain themselves. James might actually be breaking a law if he does tell her he's a wizard so in a way he has far more explaining to do, and not only to Freya but possibly to the Ministry.

Another great chapter! I must keep reading!

Author's Response: Hiya

God, I imagine Freya drove herself half insane trying to hide him from James! Always having to arrange babysitting, never letting him sleep over. It's probably important to note that James lives in Weymouth (if you're not familiar with England that is a LONG LONG WAY AWAY from Leeds) so he can't take her back to his place and, by default, although James can visit her flat she won't allow him to go wandering in case he goes into Spencer's room (which inevitably happens. damn those wrong turns).

I'm glad the connection is noticeable between them both. I don't want it to seem too forced or unbelievable. Although it's definitely rather cliché true love type romance there's still going to be lots of elements of realism in dealing with new relationships and partners' pasts later on.

Ahhh I struggled for quite a while how to introduce that James was magic. At one point I wanted her to go over to Lily's and see some accidental magic there or for James to simply lose his head and accidentally accio a glass of water over when she's sat right next to him but I eventually decided on this because - like you said - I wanted to give her time to try and rationalise first. Logic and thinking things through are both key aspects of Freya's character.

Thanks AGAIN for reviewing! Much love,

xo


 Report Review

Review #6, by Secret Santa Coffee

22nd December 2014:
Hi again! :)

I really loved this chapter and even though it was fluffy, it definitely didn't go over the top. All of their interactions felt very believable and fun, and I could tell that they do get along very well and most importantly make each other laugh. It was fun reading all their interactions and how they have an instant connection. The pace of the chapter was great as well because it didn't dwell on every single little detail, but had a natural progression.

I thought that James' panic about Noah was fun because of the dramatic irony of the reader knowing that he's actually a Quidditch player. That was a really neat way to introduce to the reader that James plays Quidditch. It's too bad that wizards don't have a secret code or something to indicate that they're with a Muggle and not to mention magical things. :P

I can see why Freya would keep from telling James about Spencer, especially since she is quite young and probably doesn't want to scare him off, but she is twenty-four and so it's not totally far-fetched that she would have a child. I admit I did feel a bit bad for Spencer although I guess he wouldn't know that Freya kept him a secret at first. :P

I really liked this chapter, it was so fun to read! :) Looking forward to the next one!

Author's Response: Hello

I still think this chapter is exceedingly fluffy but if it makes me happy who cares if anyone else doesn't like it :p

Ahh looking back on this interaction with Noah is going to be quite important later on. Particularly, I will get round to explaining why he reacts so badly to the name in later chapters too. For the meantime though.. yes, a codeword or sign would've been such a good idea! There probably is. Noah is only little though so it can't be helped I suppose, although his mum certainly didn't help the matter tut tut.

Poor Spencer. He really is being kept in the dark. Also, I felt so terrible withholding Spencer from James and vice versa but I made the decision drawing on lots of similar media. You're right, at 24 that's definitely not far-fetched at all for someone to have a child -- I think the main surprise would be how old he is though. Still, it all has to come out eventually hehehe :)

Thanks again for the read and review!

xo


 Report Review

Review #7, by Secret Santa Spectrum

22nd December 2014:
Hello hello! :) I'm your Secret Santa and for your first gift will be reviewing all four chapters of this story. I really love it already and am excited to learn more about the characters and how Freya will get involved in the world of magic.

I think that Freya seems like a really interesting OC and I loved all the details about her. I like how she has some insecurities about her appearance like her hair being thin and tangled, because that's very relatable especially to how we so often see perfect-looking characters in fanfiction. I liked the little details of her life, like how she always loses bobby pins and has to keep paying for more. There were plenty of little details like that which really brought her and Spencer to life for me. I also liked how Freya mentioned issues of experiencing violence or misogyny and how an ingrained suspicion of men is part of her daily life as that's definitely something I can relate to and I'm sure other readers can as well.

It's so interesting that the main character is a Muggle and to see how the magical world might overlap into her life, I'm assuming beginning with James and Lily. The boutique sounds really neat and I liked all the relationships with her and the owners as well as the mechanics of how the shop works: having worked in retail myself in the past it's fun to see it portrayed in writing.

Lily seems like a lot of fun and I really love her character! It's nice how thoughtful and involved they are to Freya even though she's a Muggle as I feel like a lot of wizards would just not want to bother with Muggles, at least from what we've seen in the books. I didn't get as much from James as from Lily but I'm sure that will come in future chapters, but for now Lily is probably my favourite character. :P It was funny because at first when Freya was describing how pretty Lily was I was wondering if I should be shipping Lily and Freya but then it's also nice to see how her liking for Lily helps convince Freya that she should go for coffee with James.

Great first chapter, on to the next one I go! :)

Author's Response: Oooh hello! I'm so excited, let's see if I can figure out who you are as the weeks go on :p

I've always thought it was important to give your characters flaws somewhere and somehow. We all have them, after all! And by default (or maybe not) Freya is an insecure person which is influenced a LOT by her past which will come into play in later chapters.

I've never actually worked in retail myself so I was hoping this was at least a little realistic! I wanted to show that she's a typical working mum and although she enjoys her work there's going to be parts she doesn't like as well...

LILY! How I adore her. It's really fun to write such a, well, FUN character. She's ditsy and charming and funny and writing about her makes me grin so much, she's such a pleasure.

(Lily and Freya together would have been so cute. I should have thought of that. Eh, maybe next time.)

Thank you so much for the incredibly lengthy review. Hope you have a great christmas :)

xo


 Report Review

Review #8, by ohmymerlin Secrets

7th December 2014:
Hello!

So Freya used a pan to defend herself? Inspired from Tangled maybe? ;) hahaha

and ooh Lily is a squib! That's interesting! I love how you've made her so positive and happy all the time. I love positivity and I love how Lily practically radiates from it :P

And yay! They're back together! Although, I really want to see how they talk about everything! It's definitely going to be interesting :)

Great chapter! I absolutely can't wait for the next one!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi there!

Ooh I never even realised the connection! I didn't even mean to reference Tangled! Oops hahaha, but yes, definitely like Rapunzel! ;)

I just couldn't keep them apart for too long;) a week did pass though... if that wasn't clear in the chapter :p James explaining lots of things will be in the next chapter for sure :D

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing!! :)

xo


 Report Review

Review #9, by Sabrina Photographs

26th November 2014:
Omg please update this is getting so good!

Author's Response: Thank you! :) the next chapter is in the queue :D xo

 Report Review

Review #10, by breuann Photographs

25th November 2014:
please hurry i can't even wait

Author's Response: The next chapter is written and going into the queue any day now! :D
xo


 Report Review

Review #11, by Bijn Photographs

12th October 2014:
Hey! I really liked the first three chapters. Your writing style is nice to read, as its descriptive but not too elaborate, if you get what I mean.

Im really looking forward to James coming clean, hah and of course Freya telling about the fact shes a mum and all that

Apart from that, theres a tiny thing Id like to state: dont move too fast. Im not sure how many chapter youre planning on writing, but well their (mutual) secrecy somehow gives the story a thrill, doesnt it? I mean, Im very curious how Freya will react and how it all works out if (when?) shes introduced to the wizarding world, but Id be a pity if youre planning on writing some 40 chapters and most of the story is already covered in the first five Well, its your story and your choice of course! And I dont know what your storyline will entail, so maybe this is all useless haha.

Keep on the good writing and Im looking forward to reading the next chapter! Youve got all the ingredients for a good story the skill, the characters and a (so far already) very interesting plot.

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much! I get that a lot, so I do know what you mean ;)

James' revelation is certainly going to be interesting. I'm looking forward to that one more than writing Freya's because - well - MAGIC.

On note of your suggestion, I understand I totally do. I've had to battle those thoughts myself whilst posting but this is only set to be about 14 chapters long and bearing in mind the overarching plot is about how they - Freya in particular - cope and adapt to such a new way of living. There are other secrets to keep the readers enticed though, which will become more prevalent next chapter or so :p

Thanks so much for taking the time to not only read, but review! I'm glad you seem to be enjoying so it means a lot.

xo


 Report Review

Review #12, by RedHairGinny Photographs

26th September 2014:
keep writing, this really good

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much :)

xo


 Report Review

Review #13, by potterfan310 Photographs

25th September 2014:
Hey!

OH MY GOD, THESE TWO! SO MUCH FLUFF ♥ James is an absolute cutie asdfghjkl ♥

Three months, oh yes! Yay together at last! Bless Freya, I kind of get why she hasn't said anything but THREE MONTHS?! How is James not suspicious or anything?!

Ooh yay, more about his sister. I like that the sisters are opposite of sorts, with Freya being a teen mum in a small flat and then her sister being in a nice house and in Uni.

Aww James, seriously how much cuter can he get. Gahh, I think he thinks that Freya is most certainly the one which is why he was asking about the future/looking at the playground.

The two of them are so sweet together, I'm glad that at last she has finally found someone good for her. I just hope James doesn't do a runner when he finds out about Spencer or gets mad that she kept it from him for so long.

Poor James, but Freya isn't the only one with a secret. He's got some explaining to do too!

YES! Oh my god, she found the gringotts money and the PICTURE, SHE SAW IT MOVE AND OH MY GOD! AND JAMES, HE FOUND A PICTURE!! (more importantly where, I'm curious, lol, especially if he was off to the bathroom :p)

Cannot wait for the next chappie, boy oh boy have they both got to explain. Both their reactions are definitely intriguing me!!

Fluff is good, lots of fluff is great, ha-ha ♥♥

-Potterfan310
Soph x

P.s I know you said in your A/N you changed things but having re-read the first two, I thought I'd let you know that the first says 'November 6th 2029' and then the second say ' September 10th 2029'. Has Freya suddenly become the Doctor's companion? :p

Author's Response: HI!

THREE MONTHS IS SO LONG I KNOW! I find it hard to believe there's this whole room he hasn't been in in her flat... but oh well :p she hasn't even BEEN to his flat (since it's in Weymouth)

There's going to be more on her sister SOON in a big way. I'm eager to get her in :D

They both have SO MUCH EXPLAINING TO DO you're right. It's going to be messy and complicated and very confusing on both parts.

And to answer your question, James accidentally walks into Spencer's bedroom instead of the bathroom because he's distracted by a phone call from Lily. Just in case you couldn't wait to find out :p

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing again!!

xo

p.s. it seems okay with mine? maybe one is just waiting to be validated whoops hehe, it should be sorted son

p.p.s. A NEW REVIEW ON A BLOSSOMING ROMANCE IS COMING YOUR WAY YES TYSM FOR UPDATING WUHOO


 Report Review

Review #14, by ohmymerlin Photographs

25th September 2014:
I LOVE FLUFF SO MUCH AND THIS WAS JUST SO BEAUTIFUL

BUT OH MY GOD PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE AS SOON AS YOU CAN THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE /THE TALK/ HOLY MOLY

But three months she'd been dating James and she didn't tell him about Spencer?! That's crazy! But then again, I'm a very open person and an over-sharer so for someone to keep a secret that big is just mind boggling for me. I can kind of see why Freya would do it but I don't really think that it's a good reason...

BUT OH MY GOD SHE'S GOING TO KNOW HE'S A WIZARD AHHH

I also love how you can really hear the British in your writing. Are you British? Because if not, you do one of the greatest jobs of writing British-ly (shh I know it isn't a word)

At first I thought, "Oh, he's going to get away with the moving photo he's done it! Good on him!" But then she opened it and I was like, "Ooh so close, James. So close!"

It's definitely going to be interesting seeing both of their reactions! I absolutely cannot wait for the next chapter!

Also, absolutely LOVING Freya and James at the moment. They are both so adorably cute!! :D ♥

10/10 of course!!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Ah, hi!!

I LOVE FLUFF TOO BUT I WAS SCARED EVERYONE ELSE WOULD FIND IT OTT! 'The Talk' is going to be such fun to write I promise it'll be done soon :D

I know - I know, three months is forever! I'm ashamed she didn't tell him sooner, too... hopefully more of her reasonings come to light in the next chapter. I had to find a nice balance between her secret (which should be told asap) and James being magical (which the ministry wouldn't be happy with if it happened straight away).

Yes, I am British though! Although I'm almost certain I use Americanisms sometimes - oops. Things like film/movie and sweater/jumper I use interchangeably :p I'm taking a few liberties with this work most of all since it's set in Yorkshire, a place I'm very familiar with :)

Thank you so so much for reading and reviewing and sharing your thoughts!

xo


 Report Review

Review #15, by ValJinx Photographs

25th September 2014:
I really like your story. This chapter was great. Iam certainly a fan on fluffiness, so... not a good judge there ;). Keep it up!! And sooner the better!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :) it means a lot! New chapter soon :D

xo


 Report Review

Review #16, by asdfghjkl Photographs

24th September 2014:
Wow i sjut about all I can say after reading that. My heart is racing for the both of them. They do, indeed, need to talk. Badly! Man, oh, man. They have some explaining to do. I like the way they found out about each other, though. I also think it is adorable that James has a photo with his siblings in his pocket. Update soon, I can't wait to keep reading! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing :) so quickly, as well! It's not been validated long. I promise there will be an update soon :) I'm eager to write it too!

xo


 Report Review

Review #17, by Karou_Marauder Spectrum

4th September 2014:
Hi there! I'm here from the Review Swap. I'm really sorry I'm so late with my review.

I really like Freya (I'm guessing she's a Muggle, from the summary and the bits about needing a magic wand). She's a very realistic character and we already have a good sense of what she's like.

This Tom guy sounds awful. I stand with Freya on that - on principle, not for personal reasons like her. I wonder what happened to her? Did it have something to do with how Spencer happened?

I love James right off the bat. His bashful awkwardness is just so endearing! Can't wait to see more of him (and him reacting with his family).

Your descriptions are amazing. Not too in-your-face but done just enough that I can picture every scene.

I really like this, prepare to see my in the next chapter some time soon!

-Karou

Author's Response: Hey! Don't worry about lateness, I don't mind at all :p

Yup, Freya is 100% a Muggle :) and this isn't going to be something where she suddenly discovers she's somehow magical... just plain, true ol' Muggle blood.

Freya's story will all come out in the end, don't you worry ;) but yes, it has everything to do with the period of her life around Spencer's birth!

James is a cutie. He makes me smile so much aw.

Thank you so much for taking the time to review! Thanks,

xo


 Report Review

Review #18, by dracoismyboyfriendguys Coffee

10th August 2014:
Definitely hooked on this now! James is such a damn cutie; like spending his birthday with a girl he met once cause he liked her? I want a James haha :)
And Spencer is really sweet too, I can't wait to see more of him in future chapters! Update soon x
-Alice x

Author's Response: Aw, tysm!! I really need a James in my life too hehe ;)

I will be updating soon though don't worry!! I can't wait :D

xo


 Report Review

Review #19, by dracoismyboyfriendguys Spectrum

10th August 2014:
Hey!
I really really loved this a lot! Freya seems really... real? Haha :) Just very relatable which is great because that's the kind of thing that makes me fall in love with character's stories. James seems like a total flirt which I love! Can't wait to read the next chapter :)
-Alice x

Author's Response: Ahh, this is the greatest feedback!! There is nothing I want more than for my characters to seem REAL. I want readers to emphasise rather than sympathise because I want to make each and every MC relatable in some shape or form.

So glad you're enjoying!! :)

xo


 Report Review

Review #20, by Bijn Coffee

8th August 2014:
Only two chapters and you've already got me in love with your story.
I like your descriptions, they give the place or situation a certain ambiance which I really like. Sometimes people describe a situation but the situation itself doesn't serve a purpose. You don't do that, the things you describe are both worth reading because of your writing style and it makes the reader visualise it better.
I'm looking forward to the revelation of both the fact she's a mum and that James is a wizard!
Hope to read the next chapter soon :)

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much for this lovely review! I'm glad you're enjoying it so much. Wrote a little bit of the next chapter so it should definitely be finished soon :) I'm really excited for this story and I hope you like the path it winds down!!

xo


 Report Review

Review #21, by potterfan310 Coffee

13th July 2014:
Me again!

Again with the descriptions, like I am in love already! They are just beautiful and so visual!! :D

I adore unusual or less common names (mainly because my own is sooo common) but Neha's name is so pretty but how do you say it? Is is like Nia? :p

Ahh so she has a sister!! I'd love to hear more about her family, but I'm guessing that's probably in upcoming chapters. Haha I love Neha's jibe that Freya and James may spend a night being preoccupied, although I think me and my friends have the same sort of humour and love to whined one another up.

James is an utter cutie and he is so sweet and I need one of him! Maybe you can Albus if I can have James :p

Oooh I love that Lily's at a muggle university studying, so unusual but original and I LOVE IT.

BUT OH MY GOD, JAMES!! HE IS SERIOUSLY ADORABLE AND JUST PERFECT AND FREYA IS SO LUCKY TO BE HAVING COFFEE WITH HIM! But I definitely ship them already. They're banter is just perfect and I love how the mother inside of Freya wanted to tell him off for swearing.

I feel for Freya, because she's sort of in the same situation as Cassie from my story 'Love At St. Mungo's' because they both battle their inner demons about whether to tell James they've got a child! I kind of feel she should have just got on with it and told him, but her cover was so smooth :p I'm thinking maybe James might guess he's her son not nephew.

Noah is cute even if he was just a minor character, bless James for getting all embarrassed. I'm guessing he does know Freya is muggle or maybe he has his doubts, because of him lying but then again if someone said to me 'I play Quidditch' and I was not part of the fandom I'd think them insane. *Cough*Rugby's better*Cough*

Birthdays get sucky as you get older, so I kind of agree in one sense why he didn't want to celebrate, getting old is no fun. But I can imagine his family would be all crazy for birthdays and celebrations.

BUT MAN GET THEM TOGETHER ALREADY! ♥ I honestly don't think James will have a problem with Freya having a son but if he does, he better run away fast :p

Kind of sad now there isn't another chapter. Any who can't wait for the next update!! ♥

-Potterfan310
Soph x

P.s ABR Update may be a while but there shall be more Albus/Alyssa!

Author's Response: Howdy partner :p

Literally same on the name front. With a name like Jessica, you tend to resent the fact 50 other people in your classes also share the same name. That's why I usually stick with - not uncommon - just not WOW EVERYONE IS CALLED THIS names. I'm not sure how common Neha is in India (she is Indian, it's not really touched on yet but probably will be soon) but, to the best of my knowledge, it's pronounced nay-ha (though I say it like nia in my head so do what you like :p)

Freya's sister is going to feature in more ways than you can imagine!! I'm actually really excited about introducing her to the story because I can't wait to write those bits :D

JAMES IS THE CUTEST I KNOW. IT ACTUALLY PAINED ME TO WRITE HIM LIKE THIS BECAUSE I THINK I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM AND IS IT OKAY TO BE IN LOVE WITH YOUR OWN VERSION OF A CHARACTER? I don't think so... (gosh, I'm glad my friends don't know I write ff)

Alas, not to worry, the big 'I-have-a-son-reveal' is coming at the end of chapter 3/beginning of chapter 4 (coinciding with another big reveal!) -- I don't want to drag it out for too long. Mostly because James and Spencer are going to have such a bromance, even if there is like a 20 year age difference.

Thanks so much again and again for reading and reviewing!! Ily

xo


 Report Review

Review #22, by potterfan310 Spectrum

13th July 2014:
Hey!!

So I said I would review but then things got busy and then you said you were editing, so now I'm glad I have a chance! :D

ASDFGHJKL, You're descriptions are just perfect okay. Especially the starting few lines.

Spencer is adorable and I love his name since it's kind of unusual!

Aww bless Freya, I feel so bad for her. Especially when she said/thought that by the New Year they could be in cardboard box. It definitely can't be easy if she had him young (I'm assuming she was 17 or 18 maybe?) so she's a struggling young mum in her twenties. I take it her parents aren't around much either? or Spencer's dad?

Sean seems like a good guy, have he and Freya ever got it on in the past? I'm curious, lol.

Bobby pins!! I totally agree, I always lose them no matter what. I love Freya and her character and I think the fact that she is muggle, makes it a whole lot more original and interesting because there's always going to be the two world differences. I can't wait for James to try to explain everything to her (That's if her does) and her reaction.

I adore the shop, Freya works for and it's nice for a change to see such a different job.

I'm either taking it the opposite way, but oh my god Lily has a girlfriend!?! I never normally picture her as the one, more Lucy but me like :D I hope Freya gets to meet her at point, assuming James introduces her to the family.

I can't help wonder whether Freya has a bad past with men, because of what she said/though when she saw James in the shop. Guessing her dating history/Spencer's dad was not the nicest.

Bless James, he cute and gawky and just oh my god I want him.

I'm excited now to read the second and that there will be 13/14 chapters :D

-Potterfan310

P.S THANK YOU for the reviews on ABR :) I will reply asap.

Author's Response: Hey chika

Thanks for taking the time out to review! Aw, it means a lot. Also, no problem with the reviews for ABR, I hope you update it soon because WOAH!

I've not worked out the exact ageings but yeah, Freya was about 17/18 when she had Spencer, in her last year of college/sixth form. Nope her own parents are almost completely out of the picture (more on that later!) and so is Spencer's dad (again, more MAJOR PLOT on that one later :p).

Well, I'm glad you asked ;) Sean was originally Albus (as in I wrote him as Albus Potter but then changed my mind and switched his name) but I felt like I was intertwining James and Freya's lives too much. However, yes, there has been a drunken kiss or two between them before ;) a few years ago on new years, specifically.

Bobby pins are the bane of my existence!! I can NEVER find them. EVER. I have a special box for them and I still manage to lose them ALL! James is definitely going to explain some things to her VERY SOON, he has no choice in the end :p and when I say soon, I mean soon! As in the end of chapter 3/beginning of chapter 4 :O

It all sounds a little hokey in my head but I've always seen Lucy as not being heterosexual too! :O And my little head canons are also that Dom is pansexual and James bisexual (though he isn't actually bisexual in this). Lily's girlfriend is going to be introduced by chapter six in a rather big way :p it's actually going to be a surprising turn of events.

Wow oh my gosh I'm sooo glad you picked up on the fact Freya has had bad history with men!! I didn't want to outright say it because it's going to feature more heavily later but I've been leaving little hints in this chapter and the next indicating that she is a little wary about men because of her relationship with Spencer's dad (which wasn't good, to put it lightly).

If you find where they're selling any James Sirius Potters fill me in because I want one too!! Hehee

Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Also don't worry, no rush on replying on the ABR revies. You don't even have to respond at all if you want :P

xo


 Report Review

Review #23, by ohmymerlin Coffee

12th July 2014:
Hello!

Aw, these two chapters are so cute! I really like Freya and you can totally tell she's a mother when she scolds James for swearing in public, haha! And the slip up :O I'm not a mother so I really don't know what she's going through, but I feel like she should have been honest and just told James that she has a son. He seemed to be fine with it when Noah came up to him (oh, that was so cute! If I had been James I would have said, "YOU'RE WRONG I AM NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM!" :P He must have been a Gryffindor with that type of bravery! Or a Ravenclaw for thinking so quickly :P) and generally if one is close with their family they want kids so I think she should have just told him!

And if he did have a problem with it, he's clearly not the guy for her!

BUT HE TOTALLY IS THE GUY FOR HER HE'S SO CUTE OH MY GOD RGFKJKBDAKCDS ♥

And I can't believe he went on a "date" with a random girl on his birthday! Most people on their birthdays (*cough*me*cough*) like to be treated like royalty, haha! He must be super special if he's willing to go on a date -- oh sorry, "date," with a girl he just met. Hint, hint, Freya ;)

Absolutely loved this chapter! I can't wait to read more of these two, ahhh! :D

10/10

- Kayla :)

House Cup 2014 review

Author's Response: Hi!

Yes aw that was a line I just had to get in there, inspired by the dirty looks I've seen mothers give on public transport when someone swears.

I definitely also think she should just tell James (I'm also not a mother so I don't know what I'd do if I was in the same situation!) but as a person she's a little apprehensive because she's lost a lot of friends in the past because of her pregnancy. Don't worry though, he's getting told in a chapter or two! :P

OH MY GOSH I WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THAT REACTION BEFORE I WROTE BECAUSE THAT IS GENUINELY PERFECT. I WOULD HAVE CRIED WITH LAUGHTER WRITING THAT HAHAHAH! But yeah, he gets approached a lot so he's kind of used to it, just not usually in muggle settings when he's having coffee with a muggle. Oops!

FREYA AND JAMES NEED TO JUST GET MARRIED AND RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET.

Okay, I'm getting a little ahead of myself here (not that that's going to happen... no weddings and sunsets in this story, I'm afraid).

Ahh maybe it was just my influence that led him to not be so bothered about his birthday :P to me, they're pretty normal days of the week. And I'm sure, for just one year, he wanted to escape his overbearing family :P

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! This made me giggle :)

xo


 Report Review

Review #24, by newgenerationlover Coffee

12th July 2014:
'Ello there! So just wanted to pop in and tell you how much I love this story! Your writing is really polished and I can tell the skill and work you put into each chapter. You really have a way with telling a story that keeps the reader enthralled the whole time. I love the beginning of the James/Freya (very pretty name, how did you come up with it? I've never heard it before so I'm just wondering if you know someone with that name or something :P) love story. You have pulled off a very believable love-at-first-sight encounter (though it isn't really love but a strong like at the moment :P) and I'm already shipping them :D Can't wait for the next chapter!
-Mary
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey

Aw, thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed. I don't actually know anyone called Freya, no, but I did read a fic once (on this site) where the MC was called Flora. I really loved that name and for a while I was considering naming my OC in this Flora but then I did a little digging around on baby name sites and came across Freya instead which I just adore even more :)

I ship them too. Is that bad? ;) Maybe because I know how it all pans out and I can just imagine all the fluffy moments that are going to happen! Eekkk

Thanks for the read + review! I really appreciate it

xo


 Report Review

Review #25, by Callum Coffee

8th July 2014:
I'm a bit confused is Spencer James Or Someone Else's but I'm liking your story so far

Author's Response: Someone else's :) I had someone ask this before -- is it something in the way I write that suggests this or?

Thanks for reading and reviewing!

xo


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>