Reading Reviews for A Deception
  
15 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Freda_and_Georgina To Deceive

7th May 2015:
Intriguing beginning...The banner leads me to believe it's an emotional kidnapping, but banners are often just for show. I wonder if the grease in her hair is mechanical oil...

"what her family is capable of"...that IS scary. I wonder how they managed to date without her family finding out. It's hard to lose your previously loving family and still be happy. And it's such a lifestyle switch too!

The first war section was a shade confusing with the flash forward; when Tonks is grown. That must be terrible that your family is itching to kill your husband and everyone else that don't agree with them. It's sad that she can't stop watching in case her family still welcomes her. The shackles imagery is really sad.

I love how she realizes that her current family is not like the one she left, but that it's a real family founded on love not pride. It's such a huge difference. Wow. This is deep stuff but I think you did a great job really diving into her conflicted mind. This isn't the type of stuff I usually read, but I think you did a great job with it.

--Freda

Author's Response: Hey there, thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you! The banner is one I picked up from the up for grabs section, because it was just so perfect for the story. I'm not quite sure what you mean by the grease in her hair being mechnical oil thing... :/ Sorry!

Yeah, it's a very terrifying thing, how much her family could find out without her wanting them too. And yeah, I always thought it would be one of those devastatingly hard things to do, especially with how different life would be and how you'd literally be going from one life to another.

Yeah, it's one of things I always wanted to explore - the sort of difficulties Andromeda would have faced during the war, with family members on both sides, regardless of her personal feelings about them.

Well, I don't think it's quite that she realises her blood family wasn't real, and that her new one is real, but more that she accepts her situation and she realises that she does love her current family too, and that she is part of them and almost owes it to them to try and protect them, you know? It is kinda deep - faux-deep more than anything, I think - and it's a pretty specific thing, genre-wise, but I'm so glad you liked it! :)

Thank you so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #2, by SunshineDaisies To Deceive

19th April 2015:
Wow. Wow.

That was beautiful and heartbreaking and a little too real. I feel like it's just too easy to get stuck in a life you hadn't planned for yourself and you're not quite sure you want. It happens to be one of my biggest fears, so this really hit home for me.

I love Andromeda in this, and how she puts on a front of being very happy and proud to have left, but in reality she's scared and she misses her family. I find it a bit hard to believe she wouldn't miss her family, so seeing her written like this is really nice. I really liked the relationship between her and Bella as well. You didn't even show it, and it still came across so strongly.

I think the structure of this worked pretty perfectly as well! I liked how it was divided into segments, but occasionally jumps forward within them. I'm thinking especially of the moment where she wonders if she wished Ted would die. Sometimes things like that can make things confusing, but here it was crystal clear.

The writing in this is just beautiful. It's an absolutely gorgeous use of language and it suits the tone of piece so well.

This is excellent!

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Review #3, by dirtydeedsdonedirtcheap To Deceive

1st February 2015:
I canít seem to get away from your authorís page!


A part of her, desperate for someone to understand, knowing Bella is loyal beyond anyone she has ever known and will understand, will fight for her, wants to add a note at the bottom, that she doesnít know what sheís doing, that sheís lost and can someone please come and help her. Anything, just get me out of this mess, she writes in her mind.

Wow. I never would have even thought to go there. Do you think she would have hestitated? Now Iím second guessing what I think and believe because Iím not sure. Her family was awful but she still shared a bond with her sisterís. It always saddened me because the one person I thought that could still have a relationship with her would have been Narcissa. I feel like they would have longed for each other because I donít think Narcissa cared for Bellatrix too much. She threatened the safety of her family. I suppose Andromeda did too since she was a traitor.

There were so many lines I would have liked to quote but I was mesmerized by the story I couldnít stop reading. I think as I go from one story to the next on your authorís page you are making me look at people in a new light. First, it was romantic pairings and now this, her. I realized at the end, yeah, I feel like that sometimes. There are those days where you question who you are and what youíre doing with your life and who youíre with. At least I experience those days but imagine feeling that way your entire life? Reliving it over and over again in secret agony. Itís too much. So painful. My heart ached for her and for Ted who was hopeful and I think knew but was too happy or maybe convinced that one day sheíd let it go or maybe one day she realized she had since she was already his.

Author's Response: Hey again - thank you so so much for coming back - it's so amazing to get these reviews, especially when they're so unexpected! :)

I don't know, tbh. When I wrote this I didn't really think about - I thought mostly about how Andromeda saw it, and Andromeda definitely believed that Bella would come for her. Maybe she would have, who knows? I think they would have, possibly all the way through, since it wasn't necessarily them who hated each other - Bella was the one who was crazy about the Death Eaters and all. But yeah, in the end, Bella threatened both of them, and it probably (hopefully) drew them back together after the war.

Gah, thank you! I really love writing things which are unconventional or not normal types of things, especially normal portrayals of things, because I find it more interesting to turn things on their heads and see how they go :P Yeah, I think - I hope - the emotions Andromeda feels are ones people can relate to, because uncertainty is a pretty common thing, just with her its exaggerated, and more constant than for most people. I feel so sorry for Ted, and I'm the one who wrote it, haha, but he does get a bad lot. He's a lovely guy, though, and yeah, I think he worked it out during their marriage but didn't say anything because he knew it wouldn't do anything. Poor guy :(

I really should stop being so cruel to characters, lol.

Thank you so so much for the review - and for the others you left me, they were so amazing to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #4, by Pookha To Deceive

3rd January 2015:
Well, this is quality writing. Beautifully evocative and subtle. It gives the proper feeling of Andromeda, haughty and proud, but still unsure of herself at the same time.

Appearances are just as important to her as reality and she knows it. Her ability to see within herself really rounds out her personality and adds to her relationship with Ted.

At first, I thought she was too cold, but I began to understand her better as you went on with the story. It's good to see Bella as someone who was a sister, and not just as a mad Death Eater. It's something that people often forget to do with Bella; which is to give her life.

It's also interesting how her tale parallels Sirius's a bit with running away to escape. Always good to see the minor characters get some love.

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for dropping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you like it - it was something I wrote on a complete whim, so I was nervous about posting it and how it would go down... so thank you so much! :)

I really wanted to bring out the more pureblood side of her, and explore the idea that maybe it wasn't just for love, or something 'good' that she ran away. I loved turning round the more typical presentation of her, by making her colder towards Ted, and making her more friendly with her family, more fond of them than normal.

Yeah, I liked making a kind of connection to Sirius running away, since I always liked seeing them as similar things, and having similar ideals behind it. I do love minor characters! :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! It was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #5, by milominderbinder To Deceive

14th October 2014:
Laura! Here for our review swap - sorry it's taken me all day to get around to it :P

I absolutely adored this, yanno? I have NEVER seen Andromeda portrayed like this. And you may have guessed, but if there's one thing I love in this strange universe, it is unusual portrayals of minor characters ;)

Your writing was perfect here and you totally caught all her emotions perfectly. Watching her be so unsatisfied in this essentially great life was frustrating at times, but that was actually the charm of the story - she was defying all the odds by holding onto the past and not fully letting herself appreciate her present and being unsure of it, which made the end where she finally starts to open up to it by talking to Ted that more powerful - and then that much more sad again when she ends in a similar place to where she started.

except. that. ending. Laura I swear you have a talent for ripping my heart out like no other. Because that ending. The fact that after all this time she was just almost almost starting to come to terms with things and then the second war started and then There, chained to the wall by her own self, she can only think that the clock sounds like a counter ticking down the days, hours, minutes, seconds until her life explodes and she loses everything again. - that line just KILLED me. i assumed at first it was about Tonks dying (which I am still sobbing about from canon, let alone you making it MORE sad), but on a reread i realised it's more hypothetical sounding so i don't know what your intention was with it, but still, it was an amazing last line. it left the story with such a strangely unfinished air, but not in a bad way, because at the same time it did feel finished - just there's this real sense that there's so much more to happen after the story leaves off and Andromeda is going to change as a person. But it felt so natural to leave it there - in this space of hovering between, this place of anticipation and not being sure, which is where she has been for the whole story, really.

i love the theme of hanging between two versions of yourself. She doesn't know if she's Andromeda Black or Andromeda Tonks but she cannot reconcile the two; she is two distinct parts which explains why she feels so disconnected through the whole thing, she's unable to put her whole self into anything because she doesn't have a whole self, she is two very separate parts. That's such a fascinating idea, and it could make a very unrelatable character in some ways, but you pulled it off with her so well. She was frustrating and aimless and confused and stubborn, but that made her so relatable and actually made me really love her. I adore characters which are so flawed but raw because of it.

(can i just say i would like to apologise for this review if none of it makes sense bc i am very tired and it is very late and i am very ill. but yes. the point stands that this was awesome, even if none of my other praise is legible XD)

so yeah fantastic but then i never would have expected anything less from you! major kudos ;)

thanks for the swap hunny!

~Maia

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Review #6, by AdinaPuff To Deceive

27th September 2014:
Hi, here for our swap!

What a wonderful one shot. It has all the feels. Fright, happiness, sadness, love, hate. It was amazing. You walked us through most of Andromeda's life, piece by piece, experiencing the worst and the best. Running away, the war, Nymphadora's birth. It was amazing. I enjoyed every word of it. I always found Andromeda as an interesting character, and many take her on in a different way. I liked your version so much. Well done, it was a beautiful read.

Thanks for the swap!

-Leigh

Author's Response: Hey there! :) Glad to see you stopping by!

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked this - I don't usually write random one-shots, but I just had to do this one, so it was a bit strange to write. I loved exploring Andromeda - I really wanted to take a different spin on her than people usually put on her, too, because I don't like 'perfect romances', haha, or perfect characters, so it was very important to me to make her fallible.

Thank you so much for the lovely review, and the swap too - I really enjoyed it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #7, by hangingwallflower To Deceive

2nd August 2014:
Hey there! Here for our review swap!

Okay, I don't even know where to start with this review. I was so blown away by this piece and every aspect of it. I've never read an Andromeda fic before, so when I saw this on your author's page I figured I would give it a try - and I'm so glad I did!

First of all, your introduction is so smooth and enticing, which so many people seem to struggle with (including me!). The story had a perfect flow in no time and I couldn't tear my eyes away for the rest of it.

You've done such an excellent job with Andromeda's characterization. The constant struggle of finding her identity, how she still craves the lifestyle of the Black family years after she ran away, how she's unsure of her feelings for Ted. Her confused thoughts and emotions are so accurately portrayed and it left my heart breaking for both her and Ted, especially when she wasn't able to say "I love you" at their wedding. In the scene where she sits on the couch and cries, the emotions were so raw and powerful.

I love the constant metaphors you use of the cage she imagines herself inside while looking in the mirror and the shackles around her ankles and wrists everywhere she goes. The idea of this self-created prison is really strong and makes her feelings so real and compelling.

I also love the way this story is divided up into various scenes, spread out over several years. It was so interesting to see how Andromeda grew from a lost young woman who ran away from her family and sought refuge with her muggleborn boyfriend, to the wife with the young child who received the news of her sister's death. Despite all of that development, however, you get to see how she keeps going back to that internal battle between Andromeda Black and Andromeda Tonks (I loved how you referenced her identity crisis by using her old and new names, by the way - they are both such different people that the reader can definitely understand why it's so hard for her to find an in between).

Your writing is so phenomenal as well, I'm astounded. This story is definitely going on my favorites, I'm so glad I got to see it! Thank you so much for this swap!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Haha, thank you! I really struggle with beginnings too - I spend so long getting them exactly right, lol. I knew the first scene, but the first lines were hard, so I'm so glad you liked them!

Thank you so much! I'm so happy you like her - I've always loved the Black family, so when the idea for this came to me, I just had to write it. I really wanted to portray her as not totally happy with her life, and still torn, because it's often a side of running away people don't show. So I loved pulling out the angst in this and sort of delving beyond the idea of 'she loves him'.

Gah, thank you so much! I have a slight obsession with metaphors, haha, and I liked the cage idea - people often talk about other people caging them, but caging yourself sounded almost more interesting, and it suited Andromeda.

This is actually the first one-shot I ever wrote which wasn't in a long block of text, haha, so I'm so happy you like it and think it's okay! I was so nervous the sections wouldn't work or wouldn't flow - so I'm so glad it worked! I loved following her, because it's not something which ever really goes away completely, and the idea of it haunting her and constant confusion was so appealing and so angst :P Gah, thank you! I wondered if it would be confusing, but I'm glad it seems to have worked alright! :)

Thank you so so much for all the compliments, the favourite and this wonderful, wonderful review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #8, by Violet Gryfindor To Deceive

15th July 2014:
Excellent work on this one-shot! It's made me have to sit back and think about what you've done with Andromeda's character and about the way I've previously viewed her. This is a fantastic character study.

It's a difficult story to review because the pain of the narrative strikes one deeply - you make Andromeda's contradictions and difficulties real, bringing her to life in a way that I've never seen before. I really liked how you portrayed her as trapped between the two worlds - most stories about her seem to show how she left off being a Black much like Sirius did, but here you do something wonderfully different. She runs away impetuously without understanding the consequences - that it would mean cutting herself off entirely - and unlike Sirius, she doesn't move in with another pureblood family, and so the "culture shock" is that much more dangerous for her. It does make me wonder why she left - what was that inciting moment that made her steal away in the night? Or was it a very small thing that most people wouldn't even notice, yet for her it was the final straw?

Sorry, just thinking out loud (on paper?). I don't think that including that moment is necessary - all the readers need to know is that Andromeda regrets it for years. It guides her actions and makes what happens to her in DH that much more poignant. Both she and Bella - almost twins in appearance, so suitably similar in other ways - transform during adolescence, as though being separated brings them closer to darkness, Bella to the Dark Lord and Andromeda to melancholy, even depression. Andromeda distances herself from her new family, falling into herself so that it takes her a long time to realize how happy she is - you depicted her epiphany effectively, bringing out just enough angst with a hint of hope. Readers know that it still won't end well for her - that she'll be left alone - but at least for a short time she can fully appreciate the family she has (rather than the one she left behind).

The style was also effective - one can feel Andromeda cutting off her thoughts and the pain of disguising her regret, how she keeps wishing for that letter to come, for anything to signify that she is still part of them. Much of this story is perfectly restrained in its tone and language. The only section I would have liked to see more from was the final one - it seems lacking, her epiphany almost too quiet for it being such a monumental thing. This carries into the story's conclusion - that last paragraph doesn't fit there and makes the story lose its emotional power because it goes too far. The paragraph before it, on the other hand, makes a stronger conclusion, more focused on Andromeda. The slow steady beat of the clock is enough - to add that it's counting down the time isn't necessary - readers can interpret that for themselves. Does that make sense? Hopefully it helps you in some way.

My apologies for taking so long to complete this review. The only critique I can offer for this very well-written story is that you should reconsider the conclusion, and try to bring more emotion out of it to really make the story hit home. Other than that, amazing work!

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Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 To Deceive

28th June 2014:
Hello! I told you that I would be reviewing this soon, and I wasn't kidding. :)

I'll start with the first section, because it's logical to begin at the beginning: This is totally different from any Andromeda/Ted story that I've ever read before. Actually, I haven't read that many, but the first section definitely establishes the fact that this might not be a gushy, oozy love story at all. The whole thing is characterized by such reluctance on Andromeda's part and such overzealousness on Ted's. I almost dislike him because he's so pushy (but he doesn't know he's being pushy, so I can't fault him for it.)

Ooh, the Rabastan-being-Andromeda's-best-friend thing is certainly new! I've got him so firmly fixed in my mind as a total pureblood jerk that I could hardly picture Andromeda being friends with him! But if I take your characterization of her into account, then yes, I can totally see that. There are so many sides to every story, and this Andromeda is trapped on so many levels: by her family, by her boyfriend/fiance/spouse, by the fact that she has to choose one side over the other.

I think I would rather go into hiding than choose, honestly.

Ugh, the second and third parts... That's so difficult to talk about. It's almost like she's a 1950s American housewife, totally trapped in a pre-scripted role. And she knows that she's trapped, but she can't get out. The fact that she thinks of herself as "half-Black, half-nothing" is so, so sad. She tolerates Ted's love, but she is so icy. And she thinks she belongs in those high-vaulted palaces with fancy dresses and gold flatware, but would she enjoy it if she were put into that life? She just can't choose one without longing for the other one. In the meantime, fabulous characterization occurs. She's so complicated, Andromeda is, and I'd be lying if I said that I truly understood her. But it's a neat connection that she named Dora after the Black women.

Parts four and five: WHY. It's almost like she resents Ted for marrying her, for tearing her even further from the world she's always known. And her rationalizations after his death... That's so hard to read!! I think that Andromeda/Ted are one of my newest OTPs, so seeing them in this light is painful! (In a bittersweet and lovely/heartwrenching way, of course.) And Bella!! That's certainly a whole new side of her that fanfic rarely sees! But of course, she MUST have a kinder side. Nobody is really a monster if you look deep enough. Ugh, as much as this story saddens me, I love that you're overturning the conventional characterizations for the "bad guys."

Parts six and seven: Sad, and happy--but at a cost--and then sad again. She can't win, can she? I love that she's starting to love her family a little more, but there's still that lingering longing to be a Black instead of a Tonks. And when the war intensifies, she's got people to worry about on both sides. Does Ted even understand her? I don't think he does. He's kind of lost in his own fairy tale throughout this whole story. Andromeda is still alone, and she's having a major identity crisis. The title keeps coming into play, because as much as she's deceiving Dora and Ted, she's also deceiving herself, so much so that she doesn't know what she wants (if she ever did in the first place).

And she loses everything, just as she was always meant to do--first her parents and siblings, then her husband and daughter. That is so very, very sad. This ending is just so closed and open at the same time... After all, Narcissa is still alive. Does she reconcile with her after the war ends? I really hope so. That way, she's got Teddy to remind her of the Tonks that she was, and she's got Narcissa to help her remember what it is to be a Black... But maybe she just lives out her life as a confused hybrid of the two? I can't even begin to know.

The biggest question that comes to mind is: Why does she choose Ted in the first place? An act of rebellion against her parents? She makes an active decision to seek the comfort of his arms as a young adult and then spends her whole married life longing to be with her immediate family instead. What drove her to do that? Was she simply choosing the lesser of two evils?

Once again, you've managed to take a conventional set of characters and turn them upside down and inside out. As always, I bow down to your highly stylized voice and brilliant diction. "Tedromeda" (as I have named them) is still one of my OTPs (can I have multiple OTPs?!), but you've definitely made me rethink the way they truly were!

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #10, by newgenerationlover To Deceive

25th June 2014:
Hi there! Here for your requested review!

This story was positively riveting. From the moment I began reading, I didn't want to stop. Your characterization of Andromeda was perfect. When I began reading it, I was very excited because we don't see many stories about Andromeda and even less of those of nicer Slytherins before the end of the war. Then, I went on and realized that she wasn't this glorified perfect, nice person that many of us view her as and it made me even like her even more. Maybe I'm a little to cynical, but I like when stories mirror life and life is never cookie cutter perfect. She is so different from anything I have ever really read (especially on this site) but she felt so real. She was a true Slytherin with all her pride, just on a different path than her family.

I know I have told you I love how flawed she is, but really, her coldness is what made her as well as the chains that bound her to the life she didn't want. I never would have pictured her life like this, but now I am seriously considering this being my head canon. I also thought it was a good change when she finally accepted her life. Yes, she still longed for her old life and she didn't truly love it, but she accepted it and that made her all the more lifelike.

Ted was also an enigma. He is so straight forward and opening, never seeming to hide anything, yet he notices things. I liked how she kind of knew that he knew about her true feelings about her life. It gave him a lot more depth. I also think that that shows his character. No matter how little she truly loved him, he would still bring her flowers and chocolates, envelop her with love. He is a selfless man.

I don't think it is too angsty at all. Yes, she is not happy about her life, but she isn't whining about it either. We see her more as an observer of her own life with an almost clinical tone that only has the slight underlaying of remorse of her decisions that landed her where she is today. I also didn't see any bad grammar or rogue commas (though I am not very good with spotting them out while engrossed in a story like I was here). I think you did a wonderful job with this story!

xoxo
Mary

Author's Response: Hi Mary! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Ah, thank you so so much! :) I'm so glad you liked it, because it was an idea which sort of came to me and I just had to write it and I knew it was always going to be a sort of anti-romance, almost (not that I've ever been the world's biggest fan of romance :P). I liked making her less than perfect and less than nice, as well, because, as you say, most stories show her as nice and kind and unprejudiced, and I kinda wanted to turn that on its head a bit. Also, she's very definitely a Slytherin, that's true - I liked emphasising different facets of the Slytherin qualities, too.

Wow, thank you so much! :D Yeah, her accepting it was sort of a first step in a direction which would make her reasonably happy (if not totally) rather than being a 'right step' necessarily. I liked writing her as detached and cold but feeling obligated because it's kinda, to an extent, how she came across to me in DH when Harry crashes in her backgarden, so for me it was kinda like going back to first impressions and whittling it down to that.

I loved writing Ted. Honestly. I don't think I've ever written a nicer character :P I didn't want to make him stupid and not notice anything was wrong or weird, because it's kinda unfair on him and people do notice stuff they shouldn't, they just don't always mention it, so he's kinda the symbolism of everybody who knows something about someone else but never says because they know it's difficult. And yeah, he's incredibly selfless, it's lovely :)

Gah, thank you so so much for the wonderful review - it was so so nice to get, and I didn't really expect this kind of response to this, as well! Thank you! :)

Aph xx


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Review #11, by lindslo2012 To Deceive

17th June 2014:
Hey there,
Here for the review tag.
This was just. amazing.
I was hooked to it from the very beginning. I am really starting to enjoy reading fics about the Black women. I don't know why but it is nice to get to know them through everyone's eyes. I think this is the best one-shot I have ever read though. It was like a whole life story in that short amount of words and it was just amazing. The beginning was awesome how she was running away- and that is how exactly I would imagine her doing it. Running away in the middle of the night to her boyfriend's. She wouldn't be able to go back home after that, you got that right for sure. I feel so bad for Andromeda though to be in that situation, having to choose between her whole entire family and her boyfriend whom she loves. I love Ted, he is always so supportive and loving to Andromeda in every fic I read. I think he is a very nice man. When they have Dora I am so happy/sad for her at the same time because she seems to be in a sort of depression that doesn't go away because she isn't sure where she belongs. And when Bella goes to jail I can imagine how a sister would take that news, having two sisters myself, it would be so hard to hear that you may never really get to see them again. I feel for Andromeda in this whole story- I just want to help her somehow. I am proud of her for standing by her decision though. I LOVED your story and I hope you enjoy your review. Wonderful job!
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by - and for choosing this story! It's a new one, so it's always nervous to get reviews on those ones! :)

Gah, thank you so so much! I really love writing the Black women, and this one-shot was one of those ones where you just have to sit down and write it, so it's something I was very nervous about putting it - being unedited and sort of anti-romance, in a way, so I'm completely blown away to hear you say that, thank you! :)

I'm so happy you liked her running away - I wanted it to be more of an anti-climax sort of thing, because it's always portrayed as this big, final decision, but I liked the idea that she didn't really think of it like that, but then she feels like she has to choose and she kinda goes along with what she has then because she doesn't want to choose. Ted is lovely - I felt so sorry for him when I was writing this because he just doesn't quite get Andromeda, despite loving her so much. Bella - omigosh, I know, I have two sisters too! :D - people often seem to downplay that relationship, but as it's an important one for me, I chose to focus on it a bit more here.

Gah, thank you so so much for the review - I definitely loved it! Thank you! :)

Aph xx


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Review #12, by water_lily43175 To Deceive

6th June 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review. :)

I was very happy to see your post requesting this, because I do like a bit of Andromeda/Ted. I think they're such an interesting couple and there are a lot of ways in which their story can be told. And on that note, this is a different take on Andromeda to any I've seen before. I liked it a lot, even if it was bittersweet. At first, when I read the quote, I assumed that the idea would be Andromeda loses her pride to be with Ted, but having read the fic, it's obvious that it's the opposite way round - she left her family for Ted, and was too proud to go back. And while this is a different approach than normal, it works well with the Andromeda we see briefly in Deathly Hallows, who seemed very uptight and aloof.

The narrative was spot-on throughout, and Andromeda's pride oozed through right from the start. I particularly liked those little comments about her mud-stained cloak and her lank hair, which so effortlessly told us that she cares for her appearance and yet what she's doing now is more important. Guh, all the layers, I LOVE it.

I like the conscious wrestling in her head over whether she's a Black or a Tonks. Here is a woman who feels like she's completely lost her identity, and you can just feel her drowning in that sense of unhappiness and confusion over where she is and what she's doing with her life. Those last two paragraphs in particular are incredible.

You mentioned rogue commas, but I don't think you need to worry about them. You've written this with a lot of run-on sentences but it's a structure that works, and I didn't come across any commas that felt like they shouldn't be there.

As for whether it's too angsty, I'm perhaps not the person to ask that because in my view, the angstier the better. I LOVE angst. And I loved this. :)

-Ellie

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for dropping by! :)

I'm so glad you like Ted/Andromeda, because I do love them too - like you say, they're so interesting and people can take them in so many different ways. Yeah, the Andromeda in DH was partially where this came from/was inspired by - I always thought of her from there as being very cold and impersonal and kinda wanted to take her character back to that sort of first impression of her that I had, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Gah, thank you so much! I loved writing those little bits at the beginning - I kinda wanted to show her being fallen, in a way, and the mud and things were symbolic in a way. Also, I really didn't want to give her a catch-all out of looking bad, haha - even witches must sometimes have lank hair, right? :P

I've seen her referred to occasionally as Andromeda Black-Tonks, and when the idea for this came I was reminded of it. How important blood and family are for them and so how important it would be for her, so that's kinda where that came from. Also, I just loved writing someone who isn't sure, because it was so fun and so different to most fics, I think, in a way.

Ooh, good - I'm honestly so bad with commas it's unreal! so hopefully - hopefully - I'm improving with them! :P

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review, it was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #13, by patronus_charm To Deceive

5th June 2014:
Hi Laura!

First of all ahahahahahahah Ted and Andromeda love!!! There is never enough of them which is such a shame so sorry while I squeal away that someone has actually written a story about them because it so rarely happens!

Secondly, the structure of this was so great with the different sections and the varying size. What really made a success was how each one had a different mood and tone to the other and I could tell that you really took care to make sure it reflected the changes in Andromedaís life. I have to say that I think the smaller ones might have even been my favourite as the quick snapshot into her life was so captivating the images stayed in my mind for a while.

Andromedaís character was really well written with her reflective thoughts and how she sometimes lacks confidence in herself. Thereís a bit towards the end where she wishes she was more like Bella, but I find that she almost does have that fiery edge to her with the way she ran away and how Tonks was conceived before the marriage as both of those went against the norms of her life and showed she did have the spirit we see Tonks. She was just such a wonderfully complex character and I think you wrote all her layers really well.

Andromeda and Tedís relationship was really well written too and you showed how it progressed with age really well with the innocent but sweet love at the beginning, to the more passionate and then the complacent but comforting love at the end. It was just so lovely to see them at all the stages of their life. Ah, then in the final scene when he was apologising for making them targets it really made me sad, but then their love is so strong she just accepted that and stayed with him. Gah, sorry for rambling I love this pair a little too much :P

Finally, one thing I forgot to say was that I liked how you made Andromeda continually haunted by the shadow of her being a Black as it showed how your origins can never leave you. It was also really great how they always lurked away in the back of her mind as it showed us how her life could have differed and another perspective when the wars occurred.

I really loved this one-shot in case you couldnít tell :P

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hey there, Kiana! :) Thanks so much for stopping by! And yeah, I do love Ted/Andromeda - they're such a sweet couple, but they're so hardly written, it's so sad! I definitely agree with you on that one!

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked them, as this is the first time I wrote a one-shot like this, with different sections, so it was a bit of a new experience for me. It's so great to hear you liked the shorter ones - anything short is so hard for me to write, haha! :P

Gah, thanks - I'm so happy you like Andromeda! I've read a few Andromeda-centric one-shots, and, like Sirius, they all seem to focus on how glad she was to run away and how she hates her family, and I really wanted to go down a different path with her. Yeah, she's stronger than she thinks she is, I think, but I loved including the sister relationship, and people often don't realise those kinds of things about themselves, I think. I'm so glad you liked her as a character, though! :)

I loved writing Ted and Andromeda's relationship, actually - especially because it's not much of a traditional relationship, with all the secrets Andromeda is keeping and all... but yeah, it is really sad at the end, with Ted leaving, but I had to keep it canon, haha, and I didn't really want to leave it with a nice, happy ending :P And no worries - they're such a good pairing, and I really don't mind! ;)

Thank you so much - I'm so glad you liked that, since I really wanted to emphasise the idea of her missing her family so much, because I think family is incredibly important and it's the kind of thing you don't realise how much you need them until you lose them, you know?

Thank you so so much for the really great review - it was so amazing to get, I really loved it! :) (And sorry for the late reply!)

Aph xx


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Review #14, by Veritaserum27 To Deceive

4th June 2014:
Hi!

I'm here for the BvB review battle!

I have to start off by saying that this is not how I pictured Andromeda at all. I always thought she was completely, totally in love with Ted and that their love was so strong , she was able to overcome the dark pull of her family and give up her rights to the Black heritage.

That being said, your writing is so beautiful and passionate that it really made me think. You made her story so much more realistic. Things are never as simple and good and evil, black and white (pun totally intended!).

Perhaps it is the hopeless romantic in me, but I believe that Andromeda really did love Ted a lot more than she let herself believe. Her strict upbringing only allowed her to feel so much at one time, and the passion that Ted showed her was more than she could handle.

She stayed with him.

All those years, through all her doubts and the pain of losing her family and lifestyle - Andromeda stayed. I really don't think she stayed out of fear of going back to the Black family, it seemed to be much deeper than that. I don't know if that was the message that you were trying to send with this piece, but that is what I read into it. (Sorry if I am taking it the wrong way!) But the last line about losing everything, I think is referring to losing Ted and, although she keeps claiming pride keeps her with him, I don't buy it.

So again, I am sorry if this isn't what you intended when you wrote this. I really think it is beautiful, like all of your work. Thanks for the great read!

Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth - thanks so much for dropping by! :)

I'm almost glad it's not how you pictured her at the beginning - I kinda wanted with this to show a different side to her and maybe to make people think a little. She's always portrayed as so in love and almost unselfish in that respect, I kinda wanted to turn that on its head. And yeah, that definitely made it a whole lot more complicated!

I think she did love him more than she thought, but it was always the question of her family v Ted, and in a way staying with Ted makes her feel both more guilty and less guilty about not going home... it gives her an excuse to stay, if that makes sense.

Haha, not quite, but I like that people have interpreted different things to what I intended and to each other - it makes it much more interesting! But no, I think she cares about him certainly, but she's afraid of rejection and she doesn't want to be alone and she wants a family, whichever one it ends up being. I also kinda wanted to say that people can grow to fall in love - it doesn't have to happen perfectly or immediately, sometimes it can happen over time.

So yeah, different messages are great - interpretation is a very individual thing! :)

Thank you so much for the lovely review - it was so wonderful to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #15, by LightLeviosa5443 To Deceive

3rd June 2014:
Hi hon! I'm here for the BvB!

Ooh, is this about Andromeda? I have an awful habit of just clicking a story without knowing what it's about. I like the surprise, I guess! Girl, your word choice is out of control. Won't even lie I had to look up indefatigably.

I already love the tone of this. i mean, I'm barely two paragraphs in and I'm already completely enthralled and entranced and just totally captivated by this story. I love the way she thinks and how she carries herself. I like that you've made sure that she carries all of the traits that someone growing up in a pureblood family might have, but with the differences that make her good and her sisters bad. Your use of minor descriptive words really sets the scene, ugh, I just love this. I'm trying so hard not to squee all over this review.

Ugh. Ted is adorable. I want to marry him, he's so sweet. I love that he came flying down the stairs, that's so great. I probably shouldn't say flying because he didn't actually fly and people can fly in hp... I'm stopping there, you know what I meant :P I love that line, "really, this is all very exciting" I love that she can see that it's exciting but be terrified and just... I guess melancholy is the only word I can think of, about the whole thing.

Woah, that's a twist I didn't see coming. I love the way you've written this. My heart breaks for Andromeda because she's so unsure and so alone and I wish she was more sure and confident and just in love. And then it breaks for Ted because he so in love and he doesn't even realize that she's not. The way you've written this though. I mean, it wasn't until I hit the bottom of the page that I realized I had to scroll down to keep reading. I kind of think I was just expecting it to do it on it's own. I was so captivated.

Oh my gosh. That was SO powerful. That whole married scene, and then her crying. It explained her and made me sympathize with her. And I want to hate her for not knowing and for not loving Ted back, not really, and yet all I can do is feel bad for the girl who ran away from home and just has no idea. I just. Ugh. This story. You're hitting me in the feels, it's not fair.

Awe. That name scene. I just, awe. Oh wow, this is taking a dark turn. I mean, just wow. Awe, poor Andromeda. That's all I have left to say. fkldghjrnoifghlkfg. that too. But that's less coherent, I have a feeling you probably want coherency. Your imagery. I'm literally speechless. I love reading this journey of emotions and growth that Andromeda is on and the way you've written it, in this tone, and style, it suits it so perfectly. This is probably one of the best stories I've read on the site. I just. Wow.

Wow.

One more time, Wow.

That was beautiful and perfect and amazing and just, holy canoli (for lack of other less 12+ words)

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Hey Sarah - thank you so much for stopping by! :)

Haha, nah that's not a bad habit - and yeah, it's Andromeda. She's one of those characters I've always wanted to write something about, I've just never quite known what. So here it is :P

Gah, thank you so much! :) I've always loved/preferred versions of Andromeda where she's a little more stiff and controlled than Sirius is, a little bit more 'proper pureblood manners' rather than anything else, so that's kinda how I wrote her. So yeah, there are a lot of similarities with her sisters, but differences too, which, I think, ultimately define her.

I know - Ted is wonderful! :) Ted is one of those characters we get something of a sense of in the books, but nothing more than that, so I could sort of portray him how I wanted and he just turned out really nice and a really genuinely good guy. Haha, and yeah, I know what you meant, no worries :P There's a lot of melancholy in this, because I wanted to emphasise the darker aspects of doing things which would normally be seen as brave, like running away. It's not as easy as it seems, especially when you're not sure about your decision.

Haha, sorry? :P Yeah, I kinda get a little bit annoyed by all the assumptions that Andromeda's exactly like Sirius, and so in love and that's why she ran away and I loved exploring a different take on it - that it was more of a selfish decision which got out of hand and out of her control really quickly, and sort of ended up okay-ish, before it ended really, really badly. I just like turning tropes on their head :P And yeah, it's an incredibly sad and difficult position for both of them - neither of them really knows the other, though Ted loves her and she doesn't love him but knows that she should, and it's all very complicated and messy :)

Ah, I'm so glad you sympathise with her! :) When I wrote this I was, I admit, a little bit worried about people not sympathising with her, because it was her decision to leave in the first place, so I'm so happy to hear (see?) you say that! And sorry about the feels! All I can say is that they were meant to be intentional? :P

The name scene! I always loved the idea of Nymphadora being more of a pureblood name than anything else, and it being a link back to the society and the family and the life Andromeda left, so I couldn't resist including it in this :P And yeah, it gets so, so bad for Andromeda towards the end - but then I think we all knew that already from the books? :P Though it is heartbreaking, the end of her story.

Gah, thank you so so much for the amazing review - it was such a great thing to get! :)

Aph xx


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