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Reading Reviews for An Unwell Feeling
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Pretense Of Perfection An Unwell Feeling

21st June 2014:
Aw, this was a really cute one-shot involved Astoria and Blaise. I really enjoyed reading it!

I think you could benefit from a good beta with this piece, as there are some spelling/grammar errors. Nothing major, but there's always room for improvement!

As I said above, I really enjoyed the dynamic and relationship growth between Astoria and Blaise. I think they would make a great couple, given that they each have time to heal from their previous heartbreak. They're both pretty realistic as well, and pretty much in character, to me at least.

I thought the first interaction with Hermione felt a little bit forced. I understand it's hard to get everything across in a one-shot, but it sort of felt like Astoria went from being super depressed over Draco leaving, to happy for him and Hermione despite her own pain, with very little development in this area, if that makes any sense. I'm not sure I imagine Hermione being quite so sweet either, but it is of course your story, and since I didn't read the other companion piece, I don't exactly have the full picture.

Since I didn't read the novel around this story, I'm slightly confused about Blaise's use of the imperius curse on Hermione...did he try to curse her into being with him or something? That remained unclear to me.

But overall I think this was an amazing story! I really enjoyed reading it, and Blaise and Astoria were actually both quite likable, despite the circumstances in the beginning.

Author's Response: HI! Thank you so much for reviewing and especially for the constructive criticism. It is helpful and I will go back to improve it! My grammar tbh has always been iffy so I definitely need someone to review the minor mistakes. I am glad you liked the relationship especially since it is not a ship you often find. I completely understand what you re saying with the interaction with Hermione and Astoria. It was forced on Astoria part, but Hermione doesn't hate Astoria since she has done nothing to Hermione. I definitely need to go back and convey Astoria's feelings better. Yes, Blaise used it for that so you are correct and I can make that clearer. I'm glad you enjoyed and thank you for for pointing out on things I can improve on =D

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Review #2, by Morgana Ravenclaw An Unwell Feeling

8th June 2014:
You really are a good writer. I'm sure you hear that enough, but I don't really think there is such a thing as too much praise. Especially for something you put so much of yourself into. Thanks for the stories.
-Morgana

Author's Response: Thank you so much! This was so so great to hear! Most people compliment on my stories, but not really me as a writer. This means alot to hear. So thank YOU so much =D

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Review #3, by Tris  An Unwell Feeling

3rd June 2014:
That lat line tho--priceless. I really like it, and I totally "ship" them! I love the different perspective and cannot wait to see where this goes. Although I still wouldn't be too sad if he died...

Author's Response: Yes, I like this "ship" too. It is a different pairing and something rarely seen. LOL you still can't stand Blaise, huh? I understand. Hopefully after this, you don't hate him as much. Thanks for R&R! ^__^>

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Review #4, by Stunned An Unwell Feeling

27th May 2014:
Hi! I read this as promised. I really enjoyed it actually. Really interesting to see things from Astoria's perspective. I loved the progression of Blaise through the chapter as well. I would actually like to see more of these two later in 'Till Death Do Us Part perhaps? It would be cool to see how they're getting on and hopefully that they might eventually fall in love?! Just a thought. Really enjoyed the chapter though :)
Stunned x

Author's Response: Hiya! ^__^ I am glad you enjoyed it. Yes, I liked how everyone could see their perspective finally. A lot of readers hated Blaise, but I never did. I always felt bad and this shows why. I'm not sure if these two would do a big appearance or anything, but I think it is safe to assume that they do. Thanks so so much for R&R!! =D

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Review #5, by MargaretLane An Unwell Feeling

26th May 2014:
I like the way you describe how Astoria is feeling when Draco rejects her. It's very emotive and draws attention to the fact that people do get hurt in situations like this.

Shouldn't it be "old-fashioned way" rather than "old-fashion way"?

And you've written "you're mother" when it should be "your".

You write romantic-typed stuff very well. As well as Astoria's grief, I really like the way you express how Blaise feels as he looks at her and how lonely he feels now that one of the only two people to care about him has left him.

I don't like the sound of Draco in this, actually. Of course, I'm missing a lot as this is a spin-off and he may well have justification for being angry with Blaise, but the way he has everybody afraid to even go near Blaise, when it's he who has cheated with Blaise's girlfriend seems kind of mean. Though of course, as this is written from Blaise's and Astoria's points of view, it's going to be a little biased.

Aw, I like the way Astoria wants Draco to be happy even if it's not with her.

I also like the way you show Blaise as being slow to admit his growing feelings for Astoria. Considering what they've been through, it makes more sense than them just falling into each other's arms immediately.

And I can well imagine Lucius being raging.

Author's Response: EEP! Thanks for review so quick and pointing out the grammatical mistake I did. I will fix it right away before entering it.

Thanks. I try my best to describe their raw feelings like they opened up to the readers and we can see inside their hearts. And yes, Draco is an jerk, but he does have his reasons. I'm though fairly happy that you don't like him b/c it isn't Draco's story. It's Blaise & Astoria and I kinda want the readers to feel compassion toward the two instead of Draco.

I think most people feel they should throw themselves at each other for comfort, but they really in love with other people. It's difficult to forget love and accept someone else.

Anyway, thanks for R&R! And I hope you really enjoyed this.


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