Reading Reviews for With All Of My Heart
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by zipzin You're the one that I love

22nd February 2015:
Hey, here from the Slytherin February Review Exchange!

I liked how you spaced it out with a couple song lyrics, that was a very nice touch. I also like how you jumped around in time a little bit.

I suppose the only thing I wasn't a huge fan of is that I would imagine the choice be telling her family or breaking up, and I would be inclined to believe that she would want to tell them. Of course, we all have different images of who Rose and Scorpius are, even from story to story.

I really liked how you talked about Scorpius finding someone at the end, but always being slightly hung up on Rose. Very nice touch.

All in all, it was a very nice piece of writing.

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Review #2, by TidalDragon You're the one that I love

6th July 2014:
Hello again! I seem to be running across quite a few of your stories!

This one was an interesting take on Scorpius/Rose. Granted, I don't read a whole lot of Next Gen, but from what I see most often in summaries, etc. the dynamic is usually very much a love/hate situation or Scorpius being the one who can't cross his family. Here it was the opposite and that was refreshing.

While I don't usually go for stories that include song lyrics, I thought you did a good job with that aspect of this as well. While the lyrics stood out, they weren't overused so it was clear that they were serving the story and not the other way around. That was very encouraging to see because I often find that stories using song lyrics or straight-up songfics are essentially derivative pieces where the song is simply cast into a different medium, but here you had enough independence and complexity to avoid that pitfall.

I did notice a small internal inconsistency between the middle and end. In the middle, where you discuss their romance starting toward its end, you mention that they would no longer ever see each other at work based on Rose's wishes because their departments weren't related. Then at the end, you mention that he transfers to a department where the work is completely unrelated, which seems to contradict the earlier statement (or be redundant, lessening its impact).

All in all another good piece though! Thanks for posting it!

House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by Lululuna You're the one that I love

13th June 2014:
Hello, Avi! :) I'm here to review your entry for the Slytherin May Writing Challenge! Thanks for participating!

Wow, this was so heartbreaking and bittersweet! You really made me resent Rose and feel that although she was a Gryffindor, she wasn't brave enough to really confront how she was feeling, or to be completely honest with Scorpius. But I'll touch on that after.

First of all, I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the characterization of Scorpius here. While a Gryffindor/Slytherin pairing might be expected to show the Slytherin as the one who was ashamed of their partner, this was such a unique way of showing how in Rose's world, dating a Slytherin and a Malfoy is not worth her reputation in her family and perhaps in society as well. But Scorpius was so raw and genuine here, and his loyalty and adoration made him a much more likeable and brave, if rather pitiable character.

I'm not sure if you meant it to be directly read this way or not, but it seemed to me like Rose was using the shame of her family as an excuse to string Scorpius along and not feel forced to commit to him. While he clearly adores her, I felt that if she really wanted to be with him and not just use him - for attention, or affection, I'm not quite sure - then she would have done so. Scorpius even says himself that her family was very accepting, and that he can't quite grasp why she won't tell them, so I'm thinking that the prejudice was just a mask for leading him on without having to be honest with him about her true feelings. It made me feel sorry for both of them, to think of the story that way: for Rose, because she's not strong enough to be honest with this poor guy, and for Scorpius, because it felt almost like he doesn't want to admit that she just doesn't love him the way he loves her. If she did, she would show him.

I liked the flowing, stream of consciousness style of this story as well. It worked very effectively, flooding through the years and telling a very complete story in a few words. The effect was very lyrical and lovely, and you did a wonderful job with the writing.

This was a great story, Avi, and I loved reading it! :) Well done, and thanks again for participating! :D

Author's Response: Hi Jenna :D
Argh, I finally respond to all your five lovely reviews for my 'Upper Class' story, and then I got this even more lovely review!

I was getting a little curious about the challenge, as we didn't really get to hear anything after the deadline closed :)
But it was a great challenge! I enjoyed writing this entry for it.

I really wanted to try something different, and the song 'Say Something' was so perfect for this plot. Scorpius and Rose are certainyl different, when thinking of their houses - so you're right in your observation, Rose isn't quite Gryffindor in this.
They did date for quite a while, and that is one of the reasons to why Rose never came out to her family about their relationship. I believe she did love him, perhaps not as much as he loved her, but as time progresses you tend to overthink situations and I believe she was ashamed of that as well - how long she had been keeping it a secret for her family. Because not only is she going to admit to her family that she loves a Malfoy, but also tell them that she has been seeing him for over a year, since they're Hogwarts years.
That's what I think. I actually didn't have anything particuler in mind, so the story is quite open - will we ever know if she truly loved him? No. So we can only guess, and imagine the story with our own versions and ideas :)

Thank you so much for reviwing this, Jenna! :D
You're too kind, and so supportive.
- Avi

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Review #4, by Dark Whisper You're the one that I love

29th May 2014:
Oh, Lostmyheart... you really know how to break mine! Whaaa!

I love to read stories from the point of view of a man's broken heart. There's just something about it that I love, love, love.

Honestly, its probably because my mother indoctrinated me and my sister to believe that men were heartless creatures. And I am happy to report that I have met plenty of men that prove her wrong time and time again. So... reading of a man's heart means more to me than most.

Excellent story with so much emotion. I think my favorite part was the last... that he would find someone to love him, but not sure he would ever love someone as much as Rose. EXCELLENT ending! As an author, you really hit us in the gut. But that's a great thing. LOL! XD

Wonderful job for this challenge my fellow Slytherin. I know I'm going to lose. LOL!

Best wishes always,
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Hi!

Argh, I feel so honored - you read one of my stories :D
I don't actually know why, maybe because I love your story (which I'm going to continue reading again soon) but you're like royalty to me. Oh, silly me. Haha :)
I'm so sorry I broke your heart! *hands you cookies and some tissues*
I love stories like that as well! It always have this sad, but still romantic feel of it - they always make me feel something more than just plain romantic stories.
I'm so happy to hear you liked that last line, I was a little bit afraid that maybe it was a bit too cheesy, but I thought it would fit well with the story flow.
Haha! You made me laugh out loud! It's definitely not my intention to hit you guys in the gut, I was actually aiming for your hearts :P

I'll definitely read your entry as well! I just saw it on the thread, what an interesting pair! And no, I'M going to lose!

And thank you so much for reviewing! I loved reading your review and it made me so happy! :)

- Avi

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Review #5, by paddlewaddle You're the one that I love

25th May 2014:
I kind of really love this. They are my OTP and I would do anything to see them together but it just takes the perfect writer to make the perfect story and bittersweet ending to change my mind. This is absolutely amazing and heartbreaking. I've been reading a lot of these doomed Scorose love stories lately and I get surprised with how perfect it feels at the end - not that its perfect they don't end up together, but that their love is ultimately the most uncertain of everyone elses. They have to take into account so many more factors that it would have become easy to lose track of what it felt to just love each other unconditionally - which I suspect is the case here with Rose.

Is Rose heartbroken too? Does she regret not being brave enough to face her family with him given that he would have done it in a heartbeat if she asked? Who knows. And I feel this is the biggest kicker with POV endings. I'd like to think that someday maybe they'll meet again and these feelings might be ignited - that the timing was just wrong for now (Even love has its limits when bringing people together).

Amazing story. I love your scorose one-shots. PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING! but also curious, would you ever take up writing a Scorose multi-chapter fic? I know you have a lot of editing with your old fics to do before you even update them but you are amazing and I'd love to read more from you.

Author's Response: Hi!

Aw, thank you! Your review made me so happy! :)
I love tragic love stories, and I somehow prefer writing them than writing the ones with happy endings. I think it's because you often get to feel more if the story ends on a bad note, than if they lived happily ever after. And you're right, they really do have many factors that would cloud their relationship too much, and they'd end up forgetting to just love each other no matter what. And that's exactly what happens with Rose, as you so perfectly guessed :)
She did love Scorpius, but she cared too much about her family's opinion of her if they found out, and that's what made her seem so distant sometimes.

Well, if I got to write this story in her POV, I'd write her as heartbroken too :) Like I mentioned earlier, she did love him - which is why she's crying when they break up.
They were quite young, and I do believe they'd find each other again. One day, if Rose doesn't care about what others think of her and her feelings for Scorpius :)
(In case you haven't noticed, I've been thinking a lot about this plot, so I have more details about it than I wrote :b)

I actually do have a mulitchaptered ScoRose in the works! Funny you should mention it. This one is going to be a humoristic version, and I have everything ready - the plot, the characters, how many chapters there is going to be etc. :)
So please stay tuned this summer :D

Thank you so much for your review, I loved it. And I hope you get to see my reply, which you'd only be able to if you click on my story again, since you weren't online when writing this :D

- Lostmyheart

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Review #6, by Dirigible_Plums You're the one that I love

25th May 2014:
Well, that was upsetting. But I liked seeing how a secret relationship could tear them apart and stay torn apart. I liked the bitter sweet ending. I didn't like the way she neglected him though. Bad Rose

Author's Response: Hi! :)

Yeah, the ending was bittersweet, and I had to keep it that way to follow the song's theme :)
I'm glad you liked it, despite the fact that Rose didn't treat Scorpius as good as we all wanted her to.

Thank you so much for your review! :)
- Lostmyheart

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