Reading Reviews for Risk
25 Reviews Found

Review #1, by apondinabluebox Three

22nd October 2015:
Hello, Cassie! ♥

So I decided to leave a second review to hopefully make up for the 14k chapter I asked to swap with you -- and hello! A husband! A husband with a motive!

I agree with Kiernan here. For all we know, the husband could be using these letters to throw the Aurors off the trail, and killed Christine as practice for killing Abigail. The fact Abigail lives in Diagon Alley too suggests that the killer has some kind of connection to the place, although I'm reluctant to think he lives there because surely he wouldn't leave bodies on his doorstep? But perhaps he works there in a shop/the pub/a cafe? Maybe that's how he found his victims?

(Can you tell that I watch too many cop shows? :P)

I like Molly's sweetness. She wants to see the best in people, but she's very naive and inexperienced as an Auror. You're doing really well with her characterisation, although I'd like to see more of the other characters.

I'm finding it really interesting that the murderer's targeting rich women, but he doesn't want their money or expensive jewellery. It's a parallel to the Genevieve, who was going to run away from her rich family to be with the poor Charles. So what happened? Did something go wrong? And now this is revenge, the murderer killing "Genevieve" over and over again?

I love this story, Cassie, and I can't wait to find out more! ♥

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Review #2, by apondinabluebox Two

22nd October 2015:
Hello, Cassie! I'm here for our review swap! ^.^ I hope you don't mind me leaving my review on this chapter, since the first chapter had lots of feedback and this one had less reviews and needed some love. :)

You sparked my interest with the first chapter, and developed it further here. Molly as an Auror is something that's rarely seen in fanfic, and you've characterised her well here. You've given her traits from Percy, but also let her be her own person -- good job!

The love letters are so mysterious! How did the murderer get hold of Genevieve and Charles' letters? What does a romance from the 1800s have to do with 21st century murders? Could either of them still be alive? (Wizards do live longer than Muggles... unless they aren't magical?)

I love the banter between Molly and Kiernan! Although the serial killer striking twice in three days is worrying -- what's the urgency? What are his motivations? Why is he beating them up before using magic?

And the flashback was great! It helped expand upon Molly's characterisation, and gave us an opportunity to see some of the Weasleys, who haven't yet appeared in the present. Go Harry and Ron! Taking a prospective Auror around the department during the summers is a good way of helping them be aware of the decisions they're making, instead of having Molly enter training with no idea of what to expect. Although Percy's much harder to decide on, because while I can understand his need to make sure his daughter's safe, surely he should be more supportive and present his concerns more constructively? That's Percy, though; at least Audrey has some common sense, and it seems Percy does come round in the end if Molly's an Auror now.

The only thing that niggles me is that the summary says she's 28. If she went into training after school at 18, and training lasts three years, why is she still a junior Auror after seven years in the department?

Overall though, I love this story, Cassie, and I can't wait to read more! ^.^

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Review #3, by MuggleMaybe Five

9th September 2015:
Hi Cassie! I'm here for the swap :)

I know I said I wanted to read fluff, but when I realized you'd updated Risk I couldn't pass it up!

I really love Molly and Kiernan's friendship. They work really well together and have a nice balance. All the dialogue in your writing is excellent - I can really *hear* it, if you know what I mean - but the dialogue between them is especially outstanding.

I've never been very good at predicting endings, so maybe I'm just being slow, but I have no idea how this mystery will wrap up. I can't believe there are only a few more chapters! I was so happy to get a little more info in this most recent letter! (Even if it wasn't actually that helpful, it was still fun to read.) I can just imagine that after the mystery is solved, I'll go back and read this and it will seem so obvious, but right now I'm 100% stumped!

I really wish I was Hermione's niece!

Thanks so much for the swap, dear!
xoxo Renee

Author's Response: Hi Renee!
I love Molly and Kiernan together. They're really great friends, and I think that translates into their work. They just know each other well, and that makes it easy for them to work together, even when doing something so difficult/potentially dangerous as trying to catch bad guys. Haha.
I'm glad you can't predict what's going to happen! I'm nervous that it's going to be easy for people to figure out, so it's reassuring to hear that I've done a good job making things tricky.
Thank you so much for the swap, and for leaving such a lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #4, by Shadowkat Five

10th August 2015:
So, here really late for the swap. I was really excited when I realized you updated this, so I had to come over to see.

Dead end once more. Of course, I doubt that the killer would leave anything that would make it easy to be found. Not on purpose, at least. Molly would certainly be getting irritated. Not being able to stop a psycho killer does that to you.

I feel like this will end up having something to do with the man from the notes being the last of his family line. You said there won't be many chapters, right? Kinda sad about that part, but at least the pieces will fall into place.

I want to leave a longer review, but for some reason the last two days I've been trying to, I haven't been able to focus on anything. I really liked it though, and I'm so sorry it's taken so long. I know this is kinda a sucky review, especially compared to the one you gave me. My brain just isn't working, and again I'm really sorry.

Author's Response: Hello!
Molly is getting frustrated not only because she wants to stop the killings that are happening, but also because this is her first real chance to prove that she can do this. She wants to show everyone that she has what it takes to be a good Auror.
There should only be a few more chapters, although I'm not sure of the exact number.
Thank you so much for sticking with this story, and for the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #5, by StarFeather Four

19th July 2015:
*Gryffindor Amazing Race 6 HC 2015

Our Hermione entered finally, yay! But she couldn't find any keys to solve the incident? Okay, she'll find some hints eventually as she did in the past, won't she?

Oh, I like Ron very much. I'm happy to read he and Kiernan were the same Chudley Cannons fans.

And another murder happened. That Charles in the 1800's letter, wasn't rich. Who was the guy? The third victim's grandfather helped invent Firebolt, which itself sounds interesting. And three female victims all lived near Diagon Alley, it's very intriguing.

And suddenly the case seemed to be developed. Two suspects. Readers wonders which person killed three beautiful women. How lond did it take you to think of the plot? I'm curious to know it.

So we'll see who are Charles and Genevieve finally in the next chapter?


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!
I'm so happy you liked Ron and Hermione! I thought they were both so much fun to write. Ron, in particular. I feel like he'd be a great father and uncle, so I wanted him to be really close with not only Molly, but her friends, too.
We have another detail about Charles! There will be more to come, but it's going to be slow going. I don't want to give away too much!
I have a basic outline of the plot, but I think of a lot of the details as I write.
You won't find out who Charles and Genevieve are in the next chapter, but it won't be too long!
Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #6, by StarFeather Three

19th July 2015:
*Gryffindor Amazing Race 6 HC 2015

Hi, long time no see here. I've not forgotten your Auror story! I missed your Molly and Kiernan, best couple! So I'm happy to read this again.

When I read the second victim's husband was hard to contact with, I remebered the crime drama, "Shetland" by bbc. In the drama, a detective tried to contact a victim's fahter, but he hung up the line as soon as he knew his daughter was killed, so I could imagine how shocked her husband felt.

Oh, wait, is it possible for her husband to kill his wife? The incident took a sudden new turn. It's not what I expected.

The culprit didn't want money in both cases, it's really mystery.

Still, the question related to the letter back to 1800's wasn't solved. And you'll let Hermione enter, which will be more interesting.

Kenny aka StarFeather

Author's Response: Hi Kenny! It's so great to see you back here again!
I really liked writing Molly and Kiernan's interview with Mr. Astor. It was fun for me to get another perspective involved, but have it be from someone who is connected to the case for personal, rather than professional, reasons.
Yes, money is not a motive, although the killer is still sticking to rich women...
Thank you so much for the review! I'm so glad you're enjoying this story!
Cassie :)

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Review #7, by MuggleMaybe Four

10th July 2015:
The plot thickens!
The mystery is moving along nicely! In this chapter, I really like how Molly interacts with her family. I particularly like your characterization of Ron.
I also thought the interviews were well done. I'm glad you had fun writing them!

There are a few things I hope I'll get to see more of in future chapters. I would like to see more of Molly's life outside of work, and her relationships. And, I would like to see an intense action scene.
Anyway, I'm sure the next chapter will be brilliant!

*adds to Currently Reading list*

Author's Response: Hi there!
I'm glad you like the pace of this story. I'm really trying to lay out things slowly, so you guys don't figure out who's behind everything!
I loved writing the scene with Ron and Hermione. I feel like they'd be great parents, so of course they'd be really great with their nieces and nephews, too.
The interviews were a hoot to write. I just loved coming up with Sophie and Bradley! They're stereotypical rich kids. Haha.
I want to talk more about Molly's life outside of her job, so I'll work on bringing more of that into future chapters.
Thank you so much for these reviews! And I'm thrilled that you're enjoying this story so much!
Cassie :)

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Review #8, by MuggleMaybe Three

10th July 2015:
Another excellent chapter!
Kiernan is an interesting character. He seems to leap of the page. Also, there seems to be something of a spark between him and Molly... ;) (Or maybe that's just wishful thinking?)

I am already desperate to know how the mystery ends. I want to stay up all night reading, but I can't with a WIP! Sadness!

Author's Response: Hello again!
I love writing Kiernan. He's just so upbeat, which I think is needed, since this story is about a serial killer. There's nothing between him and Molly, they're just really good friends.
I'm so glad you're already so invested in the story! Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #9, by MuggleMaybe One

10th July 2015:
First of all, the opening to this chapter is genius! I like the idea of interweaving the narratives like that. However, it's a challenging approach to take as a writer. You execute it extraordinarily well! The language reads smoothly, and yet there are clearly two voices present. You wrote the scenes in a way that made them feel parallel. You also managed to get me immediately invested in the mystery. One element in writing mysteries is to find the right balance between the story within the crime and the story outside the crime, and you've done that expertly with this opening.

Molly's personality doesn't seem much like her father's. On the other hand, she comes across as intelligent, determined, and somewhat insecure. Those are definitely "Percy" traits! For me both of these things are positives. I don't want to read about a character like Percy, because frankly I find him annoying. But I still want Molly to be believable as his daughter, and she is.

Really enjoying it so far, and looking forward to chapter 2!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you liked how I started this chapter! I've never written a mystery before, so I really wanted to start it off with a chapter chock-full of clues and things left open ended so the readers have questions and are intrigued. So it's a relief to hear that you liked the opening so much!
Molly really isn't that much like Percy. I think she mostly takes after her mother. But, like you said, she definitely has inherited some traits from her father, too!
Thank you so much for this review! It was so sweet!
Cassie :)

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Review #10, by TreacleTart Four

1st June 2015:
Hi Cassie!

I'm here for our review swap!

I'm so excited that there's a new chapter as I've really been enjoying this story so far. When I clicked on it, I couldn't wait to see what Molly and Kiernan would come up against next.

I thought it was nice to have Molly go to Hermione for help. I mean she is the brightest witch of her age, so it would only be natural that she might know something that others would miss. I know she didn't have any information at this point, but I bet she finds something down the road.

It's interesting that this guy is dating all of these women. It sounds very much like he's trying to replicate his relationship with Genevieve...which is slightly creepy when you think about it because that means he must be a couple hundred years old at least. That leaves me with tons of questions. Is he a vampire? Is he Nicholas Flamel? How is this guy alive?

Just a touch of CC. I did notice a few typos while reading, but they're all very small.

They still didn't have any knew leads new leads

so we starting to fight about something started to fight

She said her wrote her love letters he wrote her

This was another excellent chapter. Now hurry up and write more because I want to know what happens next! And make sure to PM me when it's up because I will definitely come R&R it.


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
For some reason, I just imagine Molly being very close with Hermione and Ron. And, like you said, Hermione is the brightest witch of her age, and she would probably have some ideas for what Molly should do about her case.
Those are some interesting theories... But you'll just have to wait and see! Haha.
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I'll post on the forums when there's a new chapter up, but I have some other WIPs to update, so it might be a little while before I update this again. Thank you for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #11, by Shadowkat Three

2nd May 2015:
Okay, so I understand all the victims look like the girl from the 1800's, and are rich like her, too. One was married with relationship problems and meet up with family members often, facts which could very well tie tightly in with this, while the other had no family. Both look the same, yet their lives relationship wise are vastly different. I think an idea is forming in my head. Can't wait to see if I'm right! (And ok should be okay.)

Author's Response: Hello again!
Thank you so much for coming back for chapter 3! I can't wait to hear if your theories are right!
Cassie :)

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Review #12, by Shadowkat Two

2nd May 2015:
Well, I've come up with about five different ideas now, but I'm not sure exactly how plausible they are. Guess we're going to see!

Author's Response: Ideas are good! But it'll be a while before you get some real clues... Thanks for reading chapter 2!
Cassie :)

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Review #13, by Shadowkat One

2nd May 2015:
Wow, this is extremely interesting! I normally don't read many next-gen stories, but this caught my attention. I absolutely love mystery stories, and I had to read it!

You did a very good job at description and flow, like the rest of your stories I've looked at, and the characterization was extremely realistic. Already I feel drawn to Molly. I'd certainly be coming back to this!

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! It's really nice to hear that you like the way I write Molly, and that you liked the descriptions and the flow of this chapter.
Thank you so much for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #14, by StarFeather Two

2nd May 2015:
Hi, Cassie.

I maybe know the clue, the name of "King" and the victorian letter inmply the cursed letter was from the era when the king existed.
The word "autopsy" reminded me of the same title of the song.

The episode how Molly became an Auror was interesting, 'cause readers can meet Harry and Ron through her memory.

Then another dead body was found. Readers are eager to read next!

Author's Response: Hello again!
Your letter theory is really interesting! You'll just have to keep reading to find out more...
I'm really glad you liked the flashback. I really enjoyed writing it, and showing a little glimpse of her family members. And yes, another body has been found!
Thank you for the great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #15, by StarFeather One

1st May 2015:
Wow, you've written Auror story. Why don't you sign up for my Auror's Tale challenge? Please consider to make an entry.

Let's go back to your story. A new case, twenty-eight years old young female ambitious Auror, these are very fascinating for me to read. I like Kiernan. Is the name of his Irish maybe? And the boyish charm and sense of fun you described about his character, which caused me to read more.
The Victorian mystic letter dated on June 2 in 1892 sounds intriguing. Readers can't stop being curious what will happen next.


Author's Response: Hi Kenny!
I have written an Auror story! I don't think I'll be able to enter your challenge, though, because I have a pretty detailed plan for how this story is going to go so people don't figure out who the killer is before Molly does...
I'm so glad you like Molly! And Kiernan, too! His name is Irish!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you for the review swap!
Cassie :)

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Review #16, by TreacleTart Three

27th April 2015:
Hey Cassie,

I'm here for our review swap!

Having read the other two chapters of this story, I was excited to see what would happen in this one. I love a good mystery, so this is right up my alley.

This story really feels like a script for a cop show. We have the young detective out to prove herself and her older, more experienced partner leading the way. I have the feeling that Molly will definitely prove that she's not a worthless rookie.

The circumstances of the deaths they are investigating are very mysterious! I can't imagine why someone would go through the trouble of causing all of this bruising when a simple avada kedavara would kill them without any risk of DNA. I feel like there has to be something very personal about this for the murderer. Some specific reason why he does it this way!

Overall, the writing is good. The plot continues along smoothly and we got a chance to see Kiernan and Molly's personalities develop a bit more.

I did notice one tiny typo, but it's a bit nitpicky. "The only think you'll" should be "the only thing"

Another solid chapter! Please, hurry up and write some more! I can't wait to see where this goes.


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
I'm so glad you're enjoying this story! Molly is definitely eager to prove herself, especially when she comes from a family that includes such well-known Aurors. She wants to show that she can do what she needs to do, and isn't just getting cases because of who she's related to, but she still has a lot to learn.
I'm hoping to keep the circumstances mysterious enough that no one figures out who the killer is before I reveal it! I've never written a mystery like this before, so I'm trying to be really careful in how I reveal clues and pieces of the puzzle.
Thank you so much for the review swap! I'm glad you're enjoying this story!
Cassie :)

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Review #17, by SilentConfession One

9th April 2015:

I'm here for your review! This is such an interesting start! I really like how it features Molly. She's one of my favourite next gen's to read and write about. I like how you've started this story with her clearly as the underdog here. She's had no real cases. Has no idea what to do in a situation like this one. I'm sure it will bring a lot of interesting conversations about whether she has what it takes to be an Auror. As a character I think she's pretty good. She seems to have that young flare for adventure still in her. Still feels hopeful alike she's just got out of Hogwarts.

The beginning of the story was done really interestingly too. Switching from one character to the other. It was a neat juxtaposition between the two people. I wonder if this format will continue in the chapters to come and who you would approach it if you do!

I'm definitely curious about how you are going to mash the present and past together. Molly definitely has a lot on her plate for a first case. I can easily see how it could either make or break her career, depending on the outcome of the story.

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and that you liked how I'm writing Molly! I've never written her before, and I read her as being very stuffy a lot of the time, so I wanted to do something different.
I'm glad you thought the beginning worked! When I first wrote it, I almost didn't keep it in the story, because I wasn't sure how it flowed, but hearing that it worked well makes me glad that I kept it!
Thank you so much for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #18, by Babbitty Rabbitty One

2nd April 2015:
Ooh, a magical mystery, complete with one of the lesser-examined Next Gen characters and a letter from Victorian times. (So, assuming Molly is about the same age as her cousins, the letter would have to be what, ~140 years old?)

Mysteries can be hard to write, because you have to hook the readers and make sure they can follow along without giving too much away too early. Your idea is definitely interesting and has the potential to be great. So far, Molly seems like an interesting character with some similarities to her father (ex. career choice, clearly she's intelligent, dedication) and I would like to get to know more about her. It is hard to comment on not giving away too much this early, because of course you haven't yet!

The clues are building up nicely... is she really from this time period? Was she being abused before? Did they not intend to kill her? Why beat her up and use magic? Why did she have the letter? Usually, I would say that having so many questions this early could be frustrating but in this genre it definitely works as a hook.

A very nice first chapter.

Yours truly,

Babbitty Rabbitty

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this and like Molly's character so far! She's definitely very dedicated to this case, and really wants to prove herself by solving it.
I'm glad the first chapter was able to draw you in without giving too much away! That's exactly what I'd hoped for!
Thank for you the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #19, by TreacleTart Two

22nd March 2015:
Hello Again!

So to make up for taking so long getting to our review swap, I though I'd read and review your second chapter as well!

First off, the part that confused me in the beginning of the first chapter was clarified in this chapter. It wasn't Molly leaving. It was Genevieve and she was leaving Charles.

Now that I know what's going on the mystery seems even more intense. We have a serial killer who has love letters from hundreds of years previous. Does he kill these women because they remind him of Genevieve? Did Charles travel through time to exact revenge? I have so many questions!

The flashback to Molly telling her family about becoming an Auror helped me understand Molly a bit better. The only question I have is how old is Molly supposed to be in the flashback because her reaction to her parents comes off as a bit juvenile. It seemed more appropriate for a 13 year old girl than a grown woman.

I can't believe there is a second body within three days! This serial killer sure is moving quickly! I hope Molly and Kiernan can catch a break before he strikes again! I'm dying to know why he assaults them first and then kills them with magic.

Another solid chapter! Thanks for a good read!


Author's Response: Hi again!
Questions are good at this point! Hopefully I'll answer just enough to keep you interested as the story goes along!
The flashback takes place when Molly is fifteen. I think I say that in there somewhere, but if not, I'll go back and add her age to clarify.
Thank you so much for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #20, by TreacleTart One

22nd March 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here for our review swap finally! I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to get to it yesterday. I got stuck at work way later than I intended. Anyways, here I am now!

So I was immediately drawn to this story because I love suspense and mystery. It's one of my favorite things to write and by far one of my favorite things to read.

I thought the way you characterized Molly was good. She seems young, hopeful, and excited about receiving an opportunity to work on a real case for the first time. Her interactions with her boss and co-workers seemed quite natural for someone in their early to mid 20s.

The mystery was built pretty quickly. We had a pretty, rich dead girl who has been physically beaten before being magically killed. Sounds like a crime of passion to me. Perhaps an ex-lover who was mad that she was moving on? I'm really curious to see where you take this and how she solves it.

If I'm being completely honest, I found the first few paragraphs slightly confusing. I was unsure of whether she was leaving her mom's house or a home she shared with a lover. Maybe that gets clarified in chapters to come. It's just on this initial reading, I felt a bit lost.

Also, there were a few typos within the story...mainly things that look to be accidents. At one point you typed "Nave" instead of "Have", but it's really just me nitpicking.

All in all, a really great start to the story. I can't wait to see what happened to this girl.
Thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
I'm glad you liked Molly! I'd never written her before this, and don't read much of her, so it was a really fun chance for me to try and write someone new.
The first few chapters will become clear as the story goes on! However, I will tell you that she is leaving her parents house.
Thanks for pointing out the typos! I tend to type really quickly when I get excited about a story, and then miss little things like those when I go back to proofread,
Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #21, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Two

23rd December 2014:
Oh, Percy. To say such things. Understandable, I know, for a parent to want to protect their child. But they just can't keep us from everything. I'm glad Harry and Ron supported her. Yes, they are - or were? - Aurors, so are likely to be biased, but they are also family, so I can imagine them making sure she knows everything about everything.

Gah, I need to know the connection between the past and the present. Who are these people? What is it with these letters? I'm so excited! So forgive the severe amount of impatience. :P

I'm hooked, Cassie. Hooked! *waits for more*


Author's Response: I loved writing Percy! In my mind, his work obsession from when he was young turns into over-protective parenting when he gets a little older. I feel like he would see being a dad as his most important job and would want to protect his daughters from everything.
I'll admit that finding out the relevance of the letters is going to be very slow going, but some things have to remain mysteries for a while if I want to keep you all reading! Thank you for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #22, by TheHeirOfSlytherin One

23rd December 2014:

Oh, my God! I'm so excited for this! Mystery and history rolled into one. And I love that you've chosen Molly for this story. I'm already intrigued, with the mix of past and present at the beginning and the relevance of a letter with the dead girl. I wanna ask so many questions, but you probably can't answer them so I'm just gonna shush and read and wait semi-patiently. :D

I love Kiernan already (and his name).



Author's Response: Hello Sam!
I'd never written Molly before this but once I had the idea to make her the center of this story, I couldn't see it going any other way! Haha.
You'll find out more about the letters as the story goes on, I promise! Also, I love Kiernan, too. I think he's one of my favorite original characters that I've ever written. Thank you for the sweet review!
Cassie :)

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Review #23, by Gabriella Hunter One

19th July 2014:

Its been a while since I've been able to stop by and I'm REALLY sorry but I've been oddly busy these past few weeks. And my internet connection doesn't like me...

On to this! I had been meaning to read this for a while but I never really had the time so I'm glad that I finally managed to give it a read. First of all, I really love your Molly! I had never imagined her as an Auror before and I don't think its been used very much in fanfiction so that in itself says a lot about her character. She's brave and dedicated and that's fantastic for a main character--I wonder what made her want to go into that field of work? Perhaps you'll go into more detail later? Also, can't wait to find out more about this case!

Its got me puzzled! I love a good murder/mystery too so I'm going to be waiting for the next chapter. The love letter from the 1800's really captured my attention, what was that all about and who was this dead girl? How many more victims are going to come?! D':

I'll admit that I was a little confused at the very beginning but I was able to see that it was a different POV. I think you could add those in a bit smoother or blend them in better while the main story is going on but other than that, I'm really excited about this!

On my end, I'm trying to get the latest chapter of Abandon up there and after that its back to A Force of Blaise! So, hope you don't mind waiting for a little while longer. D':

Much love,


Author's Response: HEY!
It's taken me so long to respond to this that I'm actually really embarrassed! I've just been SO busy lately that I haven't had time to do much of anything fun! But now I have a nice long break to catch up on reading and writing and answering reviews!
I'm so happy you liked the opening of this story! I'm really excited to work on it, because it's really different from anything I've done before. I'm a little nervous that I won't be able to pull it off, but we'll see. I'm also thrilled that you like what I did with Molly! I wanted her to be very independent, and to be her own person, and making her an Auror seemed to fit that very well. I hope you'll keep reading to find out more about the letter and the victim! Molly is going to be puzzling over this one for a while :)
Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review! I'll get over to read your stuff as soon as I can!
Cassie :)

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Review #24, by kenpo One

27th May 2014:
Hello! Here for our swap!

Since this is the first chapter, I'm going to look at your summary, as well.

I like the summary. You use a lot of sentence fragments, but it seems intentional. I'd maaaybe consider adjusting it to have complete sentences just because some readers might say "Hmm... was that intentional, or will the whole story be fragmented?"

If you can, I'd also eliminate the blank line between the banner (gorgeous, by the way) and the credit. I'd consider putting the credit in italics, but that's totally up to you.

Onto the story!!

I like it. If I wasn't doing this for a swap, I'd read on. It could be stronger, though. You say "house" three times, so you might want to take a look at it and see if you make it even more attention-grabbing. I'm a little confused as to why it's in italics, but I'm guess that'll become more clear.

You don't need a comma in the third paragraph, between "dark bedroom" and "as"

Oooo. Who is the other person? Why aren't they returning? I'm intrigued.

Once she had packed the reports she still needed to finish, which were followed by a pile of possible cases, she stuck her wand in her back pocket, and grabbed a piece of toast for breakfast, she was out the door and on her way to the Ministry.

This sentence doesn't jive right with me...

I'm really liking the story, though. I feel like I'm being ultra-critical, but that's because it's a first chapter, and I personally like to get a first chapter to the highest level possible.

Molly as an Auror! I don't know if I've ever seen that before! Nice, fresh take on a next gen mystery!

I'm guessing that her case has to do with the italic person?

I like the way you incorporated the description of her boss in with the rest of the story. It's also a nice amount of description. I have a vague picture in my head, and I'm able to fill in the details.

Whoops! I tried to come down and leave comments as I read, but this is really interesting. One thing that I had a little bit of an issue with was that Molly knew from looking at her that she was attacked by a male. I think that sort of assessment would probably have to wait until x-rays (or... magic equivalent)

And then the date should be 2 June, not June 2.

Charles! We already knew a Charles. So is the dead girl Genevieve? Even though she as another identity?

I think this was a really good first chapter. You got right into the action, which was nice. You've given us a little bit of information, but not enough that I have any idea what's going on.

Good job!!


Author's Response: Hi Georgia!
Thank you so much for such a great review! Your suggestions were really helpful, and I edited some of the things you pointed out so they flow better.
I'm really pleased you liked this chapter! It's my first time writing a story like this, so I was really nervous about putting this up. The fact that you enjoyed it and that it intrigued you is really reassuring! Thank you for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)

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Review #25, by teh tarik One

26th May 2014:
Hey Cassie!

I'm here with a review for your new story, as promised! And wow, what a beginning! I always love reading a good murder/thriller fic, and yours sounds fabulous. I love that you chose to write Molly as the Auror; I don't think I've come across another fic where Molly is an Auror! Usually it's James, or Albus, or Lily, or Scorpius, or Teddy. So well done. The opening scene was written really creatively. I love the way you intersperse Molly's normal everyday life with the strange woman's life in the manor. I'm assuming that woman is Genevieve, Charles's lover? I can imagine that scene so well, like it were a film montage or something, and it provides such a striking opening to your fic.

I also love how quick you cut to the action. And this is such an intriguing thing that the dead woman would have a Victorian loveletter, especially one that references Charles and Genevieve. I can't wait to find out the connection between the dead woman and the two Victorian lovers! Always love a fic that keeps me guessing!

Anyway, I think you're off to a brilliant start, Cassie! It's great to see a new story by you, and I do hope you'll update soon. Let me know when you do. :)


Author's Response: Hi teh!
Thank you so much for reading this story and leaving such a wonderful review! I wasn't sure what people would think, because it's so different from what I normally write, so I'm thrilled that you like it so far! I wanted Molly to be an Auror because I think people tend to underestimate her and make her exactly like her father. I wanted to make her really different from him so I stuck her in the department of the Ministry that people don't really associate with Percy.
I'm so glad you liked the beginning! I wanted to get the Victorian era into the story as soon as possible, because it plays a big part in the plot, so I'm glad you like how I structured that! You're right, the woman in the beginning is Genenvieve, who you'll find out more about as the story continues.
I'm honestly so happy that you enjoyed this. It's really fun for me to write, so the fact that you liked the first chapter is really reassuirng! Thank you so, so much for such a great review!
Cassie :)

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