Reading Reviews for Risk
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SilentConfession One

9th April 2015:

I'm here for your review! This is such an interesting start! I really like how it features Molly. She's one of my favourite next gen's to read and write about. I like how you've started this story with her clearly as the underdog here. She's had no real cases. Has no idea what to do in a situation like this one. I'm sure it will bring a lot of interesting conversations about whether she has what it takes to be an Auror. As a character I think she's pretty good. She seems to have that young flare for adventure still in her. Still feels hopeful alike she's just got out of Hogwarts.

The beginning of the story was done really interestingly too. Switching from one character to the other. It was a neat juxtaposition between the two people. I wonder if this format will continue in the chapters to come and who you would approach it if you do!

I'm definitely curious about how you are going to mash the present and past together. Molly definitely has a lot on her plate for a first case. I can easily see how it could either make or break her career, depending on the outcome of the story.

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, and that you liked how I'm writing Molly! I've never written her before, and I read her as being very stuffy a lot of the time, so I wanted to do something different.
I'm glad you thought the beginning worked! When I first wrote it, I almost didn't keep it in the story, because I wasn't sure how it flowed, but hearing that it worked well makes me glad that I kept it!
Thank you so much for the review!
Cassie :)

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Review #2, by Babbitty Rabbitty One

2nd April 2015:
Ooh, a magical mystery, complete with one of the lesser-examined Next Gen characters and a letter from Victorian times. (So, assuming Molly is about the same age as her cousins, the letter would have to be what, ~140 years old?)

Mysteries can be hard to write, because you have to hook the readers and make sure they can follow along without giving too much away too early. Your idea is definitely interesting and has the potential to be great. So far, Molly seems like an interesting character with some similarities to her father (ex. career choice, clearly she's intelligent, dedication) and I would like to get to know more about her. It is hard to comment on not giving away too much this early, because of course you haven't yet!

The clues are building up nicely... is she really from this time period? Was she being abused before? Did they not intend to kill her? Why beat her up and use magic? Why did she have the letter? Usually, I would say that having so many questions this early could be frustrating but in this genre it definitely works as a hook.

A very nice first chapter.

Yours truly,

Babbitty Rabbitty

Author's Response: Hello!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this and like Molly's character so far! She's definitely very dedicated to this case, and really wants to prove herself by solving it.
I'm glad the first chapter was able to draw you in without giving too much away! That's exactly what I'd hoped for!
Thank for you the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #3, by TreacleTart Two

22nd March 2015:
Hello Again!

So to make up for taking so long getting to our review swap, I though I'd read and review your second chapter as well!

First off, the part that confused me in the beginning of the first chapter was clarified in this chapter. It wasn't Molly leaving. It was Genevieve and she was leaving Charles.

Now that I know what's going on the mystery seems even more intense. We have a serial killer who has love letters from hundreds of years previous. Does he kill these women because they remind him of Genevieve? Did Charles travel through time to exact revenge? I have so many questions!

The flashback to Molly telling her family about becoming an Auror helped me understand Molly a bit better. The only question I have is how old is Molly supposed to be in the flashback because her reaction to her parents comes off as a bit juvenile. It seemed more appropriate for a 13 year old girl than a grown woman.

I can't believe there is a second body within three days! This serial killer sure is moving quickly! I hope Molly and Kiernan can catch a break before he strikes again! I'm dying to know why he assaults them first and then kills them with magic.

Another solid chapter! Thanks for a good read!


Author's Response: Hi again!
Questions are good at this point! Hopefully I'll answer just enough to keep you interested as the story goes along!
The flashback takes place when Molly is fifteen. I think I say that in there somewhere, but if not, I'll go back and add her age to clarify.
Thank you so much for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #4, by TreacleTart One

22nd March 2015:
Hello there!

I'm here for our review swap finally! I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to get to it yesterday. I got stuck at work way later than I intended. Anyways, here I am now!

So I was immediately drawn to this story because I love suspense and mystery. It's one of my favorite things to write and by far one of my favorite things to read.

I thought the way you characterized Molly was good. She seems young, hopeful, and excited about receiving an opportunity to work on a real case for the first time. Her interactions with her boss and co-workers seemed quite natural for someone in their early to mid 20s.

The mystery was built pretty quickly. We had a pretty, rich dead girl who has been physically beaten before being magically killed. Sounds like a crime of passion to me. Perhaps an ex-lover who was mad that she was moving on? I'm really curious to see where you take this and how she solves it.

If I'm being completely honest, I found the first few paragraphs slightly confusing. I was unsure of whether she was leaving her mom's house or a home she shared with a lover. Maybe that gets clarified in chapters to come. It's just on this initial reading, I felt a bit lost.

Also, there were a few typos within the story...mainly things that look to be accidents. At one point you typed "Nave" instead of "Have", but it's really just me nitpicking.

All in all, a really great start to the story. I can't wait to see what happened to this girl.
Thanks for swapping with me!


Author's Response: Hi Kaitlin!
I'm glad you liked Molly! I'd never written her before this, and don't read much of her, so it was a really fun chance for me to try and write someone new.
The first few chapters will become clear as the story goes on! However, I will tell you that she is leaving her parents house.
Thanks for pointing out the typos! I tend to type really quickly when I get excited about a story, and then miss little things like those when I go back to proofread,
Thank you so much for the swap and the lovely review!
Cassie :)

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Review #5, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Two

23rd December 2014:
Oh, Percy. To say such things. Understandable, I know, for a parent to want to protect their child. But they just can't keep us from everything. I'm glad Harry and Ron supported her. Yes, they are - or were? - Aurors, so are likely to be biased, but they are also family, so I can imagine them making sure she knows everything about everything.

Gah, I need to know the connection between the past and the present. Who are these people? What is it with these letters? I'm so excited! So forgive the severe amount of impatience. :P

I'm hooked, Cassie. Hooked! *waits for more*


Author's Response: I loved writing Percy! In my mind, his work obsession from when he was young turns into over-protective parenting when he gets a little older. I feel like he would see being a dad as his most important job and would want to protect his daughters from everything.
I'll admit that finding out the relevance of the letters is going to be very slow going, but some things have to remain mysteries for a while if I want to keep you all reading! Thank you for another great review!
Cassie :)

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Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin One

23rd December 2014:

Oh, my God! I'm so excited for this! Mystery and history rolled into one. And I love that you've chosen Molly for this story. I'm already intrigued, with the mix of past and present at the beginning and the relevance of a letter with the dead girl. I wanna ask so many questions, but you probably can't answer them so I'm just gonna shush and read and wait semi-patiently. :D

I love Kiernan already (and his name).



Author's Response: Hello Sam!
I'd never written Molly before this but once I had the idea to make her the center of this story, I couldn't see it going any other way! Haha.
You'll find out more about the letters as the story goes on, I promise! Also, I love Kiernan, too. I think he's one of my favorite original characters that I've ever written. Thank you for the sweet review!
Cassie :)

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Review #7, by Gabriella Hunter One

19th July 2014:

Its been a while since I've been able to stop by and I'm REALLY sorry but I've been oddly busy these past few weeks. And my internet connection doesn't like me...

On to this! I had been meaning to read this for a while but I never really had the time so I'm glad that I finally managed to give it a read. First of all, I really love your Molly! I had never imagined her as an Auror before and I don't think its been used very much in fanfiction so that in itself says a lot about her character. She's brave and dedicated and that's fantastic for a main character--I wonder what made her want to go into that field of work? Perhaps you'll go into more detail later? Also, can't wait to find out more about this case!

Its got me puzzled! I love a good murder/mystery too so I'm going to be waiting for the next chapter. The love letter from the 1800's really captured my attention, what was that all about and who was this dead girl? How many more victims are going to come?! D':

I'll admit that I was a little confused at the very beginning but I was able to see that it was a different POV. I think you could add those in a bit smoother or blend them in better while the main story is going on but other than that, I'm really excited about this!

On my end, I'm trying to get the latest chapter of Abandon up there and after that its back to A Force of Blaise! So, hope you don't mind waiting for a little while longer. D':

Much love,


Author's Response: HEY!
It's taken me so long to respond to this that I'm actually really embarrassed! I've just been SO busy lately that I haven't had time to do much of anything fun! But now I have a nice long break to catch up on reading and writing and answering reviews!
I'm so happy you liked the opening of this story! I'm really excited to work on it, because it's really different from anything I've done before. I'm a little nervous that I won't be able to pull it off, but we'll see. I'm also thrilled that you like what I did with Molly! I wanted her to be very independent, and to be her own person, and making her an Auror seemed to fit that very well. I hope you'll keep reading to find out more about the letter and the victim! Molly is going to be puzzling over this one for a while :)
Thank you so much for leaving such a lovely review! I'll get over to read your stuff as soon as I can!
Cassie :)

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Review #8, by kenpo One

27th May 2014:
Hello! Here for our swap!

Since this is the first chapter, I'm going to look at your summary, as well.

I like the summary. You use a lot of sentence fragments, but it seems intentional. I'd maaaybe consider adjusting it to have complete sentences just because some readers might say "Hmm... was that intentional, or will the whole story be fragmented?"

If you can, I'd also eliminate the blank line between the banner (gorgeous, by the way) and the credit. I'd consider putting the credit in italics, but that's totally up to you.

Onto the story!!

I like it. If I wasn't doing this for a swap, I'd read on. It could be stronger, though. You say "house" three times, so you might want to take a look at it and see if you make it even more attention-grabbing. I'm a little confused as to why it's in italics, but I'm guess that'll become more clear.

You don't need a comma in the third paragraph, between "dark bedroom" and "as"

Oooo. Who is the other person? Why aren't they returning? I'm intrigued.

Once she had packed the reports she still needed to finish, which were followed by a pile of possible cases, she stuck her wand in her back pocket, and grabbed a piece of toast for breakfast, she was out the door and on her way to the Ministry.

This sentence doesn't jive right with me...

I'm really liking the story, though. I feel like I'm being ultra-critical, but that's because it's a first chapter, and I personally like to get a first chapter to the highest level possible.

Molly as an Auror! I don't know if I've ever seen that before! Nice, fresh take on a next gen mystery!

I'm guessing that her case has to do with the italic person?

I like the way you incorporated the description of her boss in with the rest of the story. It's also a nice amount of description. I have a vague picture in my head, and I'm able to fill in the details.

Whoops! I tried to come down and leave comments as I read, but this is really interesting. One thing that I had a little bit of an issue with was that Molly knew from looking at her that she was attacked by a male. I think that sort of assessment would probably have to wait until x-rays (or... magic equivalent)

And then the date should be 2 June, not June 2.

Charles! We already knew a Charles. So is the dead girl Genevieve? Even though she as another identity?

I think this was a really good first chapter. You got right into the action, which was nice. You've given us a little bit of information, but not enough that I have any idea what's going on.

Good job!!


Author's Response: Hi Georgia!
Thank you so much for such a great review! Your suggestions were really helpful, and I edited some of the things you pointed out so they flow better.
I'm really pleased you liked this chapter! It's my first time writing a story like this, so I was really nervous about putting this up. The fact that you enjoyed it and that it intrigued you is really reassuring! Thank you for the wonderful review!
Cassie :)

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Review #9, by teh tarik One

26th May 2014:
Hey Cassie!

I'm here with a review for your new story, as promised! And wow, what a beginning! I always love reading a good murder/thriller fic, and yours sounds fabulous. I love that you chose to write Molly as the Auror; I don't think I've come across another fic where Molly is an Auror! Usually it's James, or Albus, or Lily, or Scorpius, or Teddy. So well done. The opening scene was written really creatively. I love the way you intersperse Molly's normal everyday life with the strange woman's life in the manor. I'm assuming that woman is Genevieve, Charles's lover? I can imagine that scene so well, like it were a film montage or something, and it provides such a striking opening to your fic.

I also love how quick you cut to the action. And this is such an intriguing thing that the dead woman would have a Victorian loveletter, especially one that references Charles and Genevieve. I can't wait to find out the connection between the dead woman and the two Victorian lovers! Always love a fic that keeps me guessing!

Anyway, I think you're off to a brilliant start, Cassie! It's great to see a new story by you, and I do hope you'll update soon. Let me know when you do. :)


Author's Response: Hi teh!
Thank you so much for reading this story and leaving such a wonderful review! I wasn't sure what people would think, because it's so different from what I normally write, so I'm thrilled that you like it so far! I wanted Molly to be an Auror because I think people tend to underestimate her and make her exactly like her father. I wanted to make her really different from him so I stuck her in the department of the Ministry that people don't really associate with Percy.
I'm so glad you liked the beginning! I wanted to get the Victorian era into the story as soon as possible, because it plays a big part in the plot, so I'm glad you like how I structured that! You're right, the woman in the beginning is Genenvieve, who you'll find out more about as the story continues.
I'm honestly so happy that you enjoyed this. It's really fun for me to write, so the fact that you liked the first chapter is really reassuirng! Thank you so, so much for such a great review!
Cassie :)

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