Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.






Reading Reviews for Aftermath
  
62 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Maelody Blue Star

13th January 2015:
Hello! So I know you may not want any more reviews on this story due to having to come back and reply to them. Don't worry about replying to this if you don't want to, I just wanted to let you know that I've come to check out the story and I have to say, you're an incredibly brave, wonderful, talented woman to have written this out. It's beautiful, and I can feel the emotion coming off of the story. Seriously.

I don't know which character you're standing with, assuming it is Teddy though. If so, for that I am extremely sorry for any loss you have suffered and I just want to say you vented this out beautifully. I hope this story helps others who read this story. Again, sorry for bringing you back to this, but I just thought I'd let you know. :)

~Mae

Author's Response: Hi Mae!

Thank you for this absolutely wonderful review!

Lo ♥


 Report Review

Review #2, by TidalDragon Blue Star

9th July 2014:
Well here we are at the end Lo, and what an end it was! I thought this was a really powerful, moving conclusion.

In some senses, I'll admit I'm not sure about the effusiveness with which he talks about Cara and the similarities between them. Perhaps it is important and even with respect to the latter, slightly inevitable. I think what struck me most though was the piano. I'm sure it is on purpose that Cara plays it now - that she can produce the happy sounds that Victoire once did with it, but for me that bit was, for me anyway, part walking on hallowed ground - part contradiction. While you do a wonderful job with the imagery and the thoughts behind giving up Teddy's wedding band, it felt slightly off, because he wasn't ultimately giving up the last tangible bond between he and Victoire - there's still the piano - and though he doesn't allow it to be from your writing, in some ways it feels like an elephant in the room.

That said, I think what you did with the comparisons about the bright blue star versus the ocean was amazing. You were able to paint such a beautiful picture with your words and descriptions and it really tugged at me, especially when you brought it back for that second-to-last paragraph.

Congratulations on a job superbly done! This story was excellently rendered, and while I'm sorry to see it was the product of your own suffering, I hope it brought you a measure of comfort and helped you find peace after that difficult time.

Author's Response: Hiya Kevin, thank you so much for all your wonderful reviews.

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

This might be the only one I address, but the piano for me is Teddy's last way to hold on to Victoire after letting her go. He can't escape the fact that Cara plays it but he has moved on and can accept the beauty of Cara's playing and his love for her while still giving a final nod to Victoire, almost as an ode to her. I just want to clarify my point though - thanks for the feedback on that! :)

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #3, by TidalDragon One Year

9th July 2014:
Fool me twice, shame on me...but THIS seems like the dawn I thought might be coming a chapter before. Though Teddy confesses to still being deeply plagued by thoughts of Victoire, memories of what they had and what was lost, and ghostly whispers and feelings (like in the kitchen).

I like Teddy's tone of defiance in this chapter. He really seems to be trying hard for the first time to actively summon up the strength to move beyond what's happened and not let his life be swallowed by persistent anguish and suffering.

I also love the things Teddy chooses to do to express this. They are so simple, yet so hopeful, and I loved the line "[a]nd I will live like you can't, and hopefully along the way you can live through me, through the memories I preserve." It shows how deep the connection remains, but at the same time, it completely flips the dynamic from earlier. Before Teddy chained himself to Victoire, as if he could somehow will her back into being or could keep hold of her by refusing to let her pass from being constantly in his world. Now he seems stronger, taking Victoire's memory with him in the hope that from beyond she can find happiness again. It's an interesting notion.

I can't wait to see how the story ends!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey Kevin!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #4, by TidalDragon Selfish Man

9th July 2014:
Alright then. No turnaround for Teddy. At least not now.

You chose the memories he reflected on in this chapter very well I thought. Each allowed a glimpse into the happy times that Dominique encouraged him to seek out, but each was also laced with a possible allusion to a piece of Victoire that might lead her to what she chose. What I wonder though is how much of the emotion Teddy connects to those small bits now is real and how much is simply him projecting what he knows and is struggling with now retrospectively upon them.

I thought the way you incorporated the selfishness referenced in the chapter title was interesting. It's certainly an interesting thought, to consider Teddy's fiercely gripping onto his dead wife and vowing never to let go, even after her passing as selfish. Many would use other words to describe it - desperate maybe or perhaps devoted? It's interesting Teddy chooses selfish. Will this connect to something more later?

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Almost there Kevin, thank you so much for the wonderful reviews!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #5, by TidalDragon Mournful Song

9th July 2014:
This chapter was so laden with emotion. Despite the fact that Teddy reconstructed everything else, he clung to what he believed in the first chapter - that he wouldn't be able to rid himself of the piano. For the briefest of moments, his playing seemed like it might provide some semblance of catharsis, but he quickly slipped back into the sadness that has overtaken him.

I thought what happened with Dominique was particularly strong. You could feel while reading the exchange between she and Teddy that moment that often comes when you get overcome by a penetrating sadness but try to fight back the coming tears. I felt Teddy in that place, and it must have taken immense strength when he slid down the closed door not to give in to the urge to release that grief through water.

Still, it manages to end on a more positive note and I wonder - is Teddy starting to come around?
I suppose we'll see next chapter...

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hello again Kevin!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #6, by TidalDragon Empty House

9th July 2014:
Wow. While I suspected Victoire had taken her own life, I certainly didn't expect it to be because of (or at least related to) quite such dark reasons. This is becoming a heavy story indeed and I found the ending here incredibly impactful.

I think part of what made the ending so strong was that despite the bitter ending to the last chapter, you returned to a more wistful feeling at the top of this one. Though the dust undeniably hung a dark veil over everything, it still felt almost close enough to touch, but by the end was heavy with a sense of finality for the place, but endlessness for the emotions.

Though the structure worked for you here, it felt when you described the photographs like you had almost been of two minds regarding which direction you should go - those resurrected a piece of the first chapter's form, while the remainder was a more orthodox style. I wonder if there's a way to sculpt the transition back to the the photograph section and out again so it doesn't feel so stark (though perhaps that's what you wanted).

See you next chapter!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hiya Kevin!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #7, by TidalDragon All The Things

9th July 2014:
Howdy Lo! In pursuit of House Cup glory, Adi directed me to this story, so here I am!

First off, I'm intrigued by this chapter's structure. Obviously it's about remembrance and every little thing that Teddy will remember about Victoire, but the way you did it progressing from the top to the bottom of her, and then in a sense into to her inner self was clever and well done.

I also liked the things you picked out. Some of them were obvious things to notice for anyone, others were particular to Teddy, and still others were the small details that a person who isn't attentive would never notice because they're simply not paying close enough attention.

I don't think I've seen one character so thoroughly paint a picture of precisely WHO another character is with such concision and affection, yet at the end, it sours and becomes bittersweet.

I'm interested to see what happens next!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey Kevin!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #8, by Rumpelstiltskin Mournful Song

9th July 2014:
Hi.

This is a great chapter about attempting to accept the fact that Victoire is dead, and Teddy's further attempt to move on. By turning areas that they'd shared together into areas more personalized as Teddy's, he's slowly erasing some of her memories from the house.

Of course, like with every loss, there's just somethings that Teddy can't let go of, in this case, the piano. His fond memories of her playing on the piano, and Teddy's absolute lack of skill did make me smile slightly.

Oh the famous words - "She would have wanted you to be happy". Of course she did, but it's sometimes nearly impossible to find that happiness in the aftermath of death.

Another wonderful chapter.

-Rumpel


::Slytherin - House Cup 2014 - Educational Decree Number Five::

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by Rumpelstiltskin Empty House

9th July 2014:
Hello again.

The empty house, that's a very fitting next part in this, I'd say. There's nothing worse than coming home to a place that is absolutely plagued by memories of the person that you've just lost. You've managed to take the reader through the experience - through Teddy's eyes - in a very effective manner.

One of my favorite ideas in this chapter, is that Teddy doesn't even have to look at the photographs to have memories come floating back to him because, as you've stated, he knows them by heart.

Then, of course, there's the idea that both of them really seemed to want to have a child, and were prepared to do so, with a nursery set up to boot. Teddy wishing that they HAD had a child, just so that he'd have something, anything, to remember Victoire by is truly heartbreaking :(.

-Rumpel

::Slytherin - House Cup 2014 - Educational Decree Number Five::

Author's Response: Hello Rumpel!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #10, by Rumpelstiltskin All The Things

9th July 2014:
Hey there.

So, this was a lovely introduction, though obviously very sad. I love the way that Teddy remembers every little detail about Victoire, and ultimately decides that everything about her -- good, bad, annoying, or indifferent -- he loves. It's an unbearable to be able to hug, hold, and love somebody so much, and them have them not exist in the next moment.

I think that the worst feeling of all must've been knowing that she's gone by her own choice. You've captured the range of heart-wrenching emotion fantastically here. Great job.

-Rumpel

::Slytherin - House Cup 2014 - Educational Decree Number Five ::

Author's Response: Hiya Rumpel!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #11, by randomwriter Blue Star

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello again. I'm back for the final chapter. I'm so sorry it took so long. The Decree came out in between, and I got caught up in reviewing for that.

I've kind of lost my train of thought because I read this earlier, so I will attempt to bring back all those thoughts after a quick skim through.

I'm happy that Teddy has finally moved on. It has taken him quite a lot, but he's finally at a place where he's ready and that's really nice to see, because throughout the story, I found myself feeling really bad for him. So I'm glad he's found some happiness.

I like how you didn't just make Cara Victoire 2.0. It's nice to see that she's very different, which shows that he is honestly over her. She also seems like a perfect fit got Teddy at this stage in his life. He's been through so much and right now, he needs the calmness of the ocean, along with its occasional fury.

Your writing is this chapter is the most beautiful, out of all six I think. It's descriptive, but there's so much in terms of variety. It's also a very positive chapter to read. It's brimming with hope.

That last paragraph broke me a little on the inside. It's so sweet and happy and everything, but at the same time, there's much attached to that one symbolic gesture. He's finally letting go of that one piece he'd held on to, and it's a significant moment. It's so sad, and happy at the same time.

I really like how you've shown Teddy's character progress through this. Unlike many stories which focus on moving on, you didn't jump to it right away. You took your time establishing everything. You showed him grow in a realistic manner and everything he was feeling was perfect. Just as it should be. I really appreciate how you focused on smaller, important details and let him heal over time. It might have take a while, but it was very real in the end.

I'm a little upset that you didn't give me closure on Vivtoire's death. Maybe you can write a companion one-shot sometime? *hint*

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Your pain comes through the page(or screen, here). I can feel it. However, I'd never have guessed that it was the inspiration behind this great story. I think your experience helped you describe Teddy's emotions and get everything right. Take care, Lo. And if you ever need to talk about things, the offer is open. PM me.

Great story, and I'm glad at HC gave me a chance to read it :)

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #12, by randomwriter One Year

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 review

Hello again, Laura! I'm going to finish this one as soon as possible, so that I can get to the end. Forgive me if it drops in standard.

I've been listening to 'Glass in the Park' throughout my reading of your story and it;s melancholic tune adds to my feels as I'm reading this. I loved the bittersweet nature of this chapter. The ending of this (and the rest of the chapters) all come to me in bits and pieces of the song, and I thought it'd be nice to mention that.

I felt a new wave of sorrow for teddy when he said that he still hadn't gotten over Victoire yet. I know how hard it is to miss someone and, it is terribly difficult to break away from that feeling and move on. So I get why it took so long for Teddy to get to that stage where he felt as if he was ready again.

I'm still extremely curious about Victoire's choice and what prompted her, in particular. All those hints were really vague and they probably grew in meaning only in retrospect.

I'm glad that Teddy found things to do to distract himself. It's important to the process of growth and moving on and it is certainly better than withering away with dead hope and self pity.

Itís been one year and I can still see you in this house. Itís been twelve months and I can still hear the memory of your voice. Itís been three hundred and sixty five days and I can still feel the ghost of your hand in mine. But now it is my time to start living again. This part was the turning point for me. It was beautifully written. I thought that, like the rest of the chapter, it was quite bittersweet. It's so sad and beautiful, but that last part just shows how he is ready to take a step forward and that's really nice to see. He deserves all the happiness he can get.

The last part really spoke to me. It shows us how he's going to take baby steps to get back onto his feet. But the thing that left a huge impression was the past about sunsets and sunrises and ice cream and music and everything. They aren't particulalry grand, but they are beautiful things. Little, moments that really make life what it is. It's nice that he is going to begin his recovery by learning to appreciate the small things in life again.

Oh gosh, I'm loving this! Another great chapter, Lo! I'm off to finish this.

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #13, by randomwriter Selfish Man

8th July 2014:
House Cup Review 2014

Hello again, Lo! Back for more.

Poor Teddy! I felt so bad for him throughout this chapter. His sorrow was more pronounced in this than the others. I can understand why he chooses to cling to their memories though. He probably feels like it's his only link to Victoire, and if he was to sever that, what would be left for him? He also probably feels like it would be a disservice to her memory to let go of all those thoughts and move forward in any way.

I love how you write about all their happy times in a bittersweet fashion. You showed us all the happy memories, but then you also showed us a side of them that Teddy had never paid much attention to in the past, that have now become relevant in light of her death. It's so sad to see that. All those hints, but they were so casual! HOW could Teddy have known after all? Still, they seemed so happy together and I'm feeling slightly mad at Victoire for taking the plunge. I need to know why before I can begin to sympathise or understand.

On a side note, amusement parks, camping under the stars? teddy should date me. We'd be so perfect and I wouldn't leave him like this :'( *sobs*

Oh, I only spotted one typo.
you were weary of the large machinery --? 'weary' should be 'wary'. Weary is a synonym of tired, while wary means suspicious of or guarded against.

Other than that, this was some great writing. It's so angsty and beautiful (I'm sorry I'm beginning to sound like some broken record). Another great chapter, Lo!!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #14, by randomwriter Mournful Song

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello! :) I'm back for more. I mean, WHY wouldn't I be?! This story is really drawing me in.

I like how this chapter takes a step in the direction of Teddy's acceptance with him playing the piano. I think it's a beautiful instrument and imagining this scene, first with both of them, and then without Victoire, might just have killed me inside. I can't tell my notes, but the kind of music I'm thinking of is just so beautiful and heart-breaking and it really added to my overall impression of this sequence.

I like how you disregarded the rules of dialogues by not putting them in tags. It doesn't break the beautiful descriptive flow of the story.

I can't help myself. I must quote my favourite lines here.
I long to hear the sounds the piano made when your little fingers danced across the keys, the black and the white becoming less instrumental pieces and more extensions of your soul, singing to me once more. This is one of the most beautiful lines. I love the part about the music being a continuation of her soul. It tells us how talented she was and that music came to her naturally, effortlessly.

But even music does not extend beyond the grave to link those on earth and those beyond it. This is like a jolt back into reality, reminding us of how she really is gone and that nothing done in remembrance can truly bring her back physically.

But no matter how similar the notes on the piano may sound when your light fingers prance across them and when my quick jabs force them down, we both know that her hopeful thinking is foolish. I understand how difficult it must be for both of them. I think the way Teddy thinks of her actions as being exponentially more refined than his own is very natural as he says it in admiration. It's really sweet of him! But the whole section is rather sad.

In spite of it all, I felt as if he brought Victoire back through her presence and her memory. I like how he's moving on by actually attempting to relive his memories. This is acceptance. The first step. Also, playing the piano shows that he's gathered some courage to come to terms with his loss.

Thanks from sharing this. It's heart-breaking-ly beautiful! :')

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #15, by randomwriter Empty House

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hi Lo. Okay, I honestly don't know how to review this. Everything about it was so sad and heart-breaking and I'm still reeling from all that emotion. There is so much process in this little addition to your story.

First of all, I like how you continued with the theme of remembrance. I think it's a really nice touch, showing how he had so much to think of when he thought of her. All those memories are simply heartwarming, and I can completely understand his apprehension behind leaving the photos or wiping off the dust. The way he felt was very easy to relate to. Photographs have a way of doing that.

My favourite part was how you described each photo, showing how things seemed so normal and everything just seemed to fit in place. Friends, family, graduation, weddings... almost like they had it all. Another favourite was the very last line. I like how you mentioned all those things he remembered her by, but in reality, had nothing tangible. They were all memories.

The yellow walls? Crib? Stuffed animals? Were they going to have a baby? What happened? Was it a miscarriage? Or were they unable to conceive? Is it what broke her heart? Also, first time? So there have been more. I think this is a nice hint to go on with.

Another beautiful, beautiful chapter, Lo!

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #16, by randomwriter All The Things

8th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Woah, Lo. What have you done to me? This story was all sorts of beautiful. The chapter, I mean. I can't wait to get on and see what happens.

I felt so bad for Teddy. Right from the start, you didn't hide the fact that she was gone. All his 'I remembers' obviously meant that she was no longer around. But those last three words in the end? The fact that she chose this? No. Wouldn't have ever guessed that. I thought that she may have left him because the story summary mentions a decision, but no. I didn't see this coming at all. So, yeah. I felt pretty bad for him and I really hope that he finds it in him to accept it and move on and be happy, because he should be happy.

I love the style of this piece. The way Teddy talks about Victoire, it's so clear that he loves her with everything he has, which made the realisation of her loss even harder. I'd like to know why she did it. But I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

I think the way you went about with his thoughts was excellent. You added in a couple of negative-ish qualities in there. Things like frustration and arguments, no matter how childish :p They made their love more realistic because nothing is so perfect. The beauty is in the perfections mixed with imperfections.

The only CC I can offer is that the wording was a little repetitive in places. Nothing big, really. Apart from that, you've written this really well. Great read! :)

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #17, by kenpo Blue Star

7th July 2014:
This was absolutely fantastic. Beautiful. You should be proud of yourself, not only for writing so well, but writing something that was so close to you. I've used writing to process and cope with some things, and good for you!

Because of the short chapters, I think you've been getting a lot of attention from the House Cup, and I want you to know that at least for me, I'm so happy that I read this. Not only for reviews per word read, but just because it was so beautiful. I'm really happy that you've been getting the attention that I think you deserve.

Even though not all the chapters were exactly 500 words, I think you captured the spirit of the 500 word story. Every word that you chose mattered, and it showed that you were very careful to make everything have meaning.

I'm so happy that he found love again. Cara sounds like she's good for him, and their relationship seems genuine and loving. It's really nice that he still goes out to brunch with Dominique! I'm glad he hasn't disconnected from that family.

This was a fantastic story, and you should be proud of it. What have you gotten, something like 50 reviews since Event 5 started! Good for you!!! You deserve it!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #18, by kenpo One Year

7th July 2014:
Yay! Growth and healing is happening! Yay! I really want this for Teddy!

He's at work, and he's doing things with the family, and I'm really happy that he's bouncing back. He seems to recognize and accept his grief as part of being human, but he's able to look beyond that, at a future where he might me happy again. Perhaps even happy with someone else.

You're doing this so well. The horrible sadness is still there, and it's so heavy on the narrative, but on top of that there is this lightness, and this potential for some of that darkness to be worked through.

He can be around Dom again! Good! That's a nice touch that you added, to really clearly say "Look. Growth. He's getting better.". I mean... you didn't do it that obviously and bluntly, but... what I'm saying is that you made a good decision there.

It's also great that he's able to see that clinging to his grief is only making him suffer.

The last line! Yay! It seems like he'd actually already made the decision to start living again, but good for him for finally flat-out saying it!

Another fantastic chapter!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Hi again Georgia!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #19, by kenpo Selfish Man

7th July 2014:
You're showing so much growth and development here, in such short but powerful chapters!!

I think it's a pretty normal thing for couples to at some point have the "what if I die" conversation, and this is a case where long after the conversation happens, it becomes much more significant.

It's so sad that he sees all of his memories with her as tainted and incomplete, but that's something that happens all too often. I hope he grows to be able to separate those good memories from her actions and can enjoy her memory again. (Gosh, that sentence didn't make much sense, did it?)

Something I think is really interesting is that he describes himself as selfish, but never Victoire. That hints that he blames himself. Suicide is usually viewed as a very selfish act, and I'm intrigued as to why Teddy doesn't seem to see it that way at all.

Another gorgeous chapter!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Hiya Georgia!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #20, by kenpo Mournful Song

7th July 2014:
Once again, this chapter was really beautiful and I feel like a broken record, just saying "sad...well-written...sad...", but that's all there is to say! You're doing these things like having him play the piano, and music is so powerful! In the last chapter you used sight, and now you're using hearing to show his grief.

I'm finding myself hoping that what Dominique suggests will come true, that he'll be sad but by the end of the story, he'll have gotten a little bit better.

That's probably wishful thinking, isn't it?

I love that you don't actually use dialogue. I mean... there is dialogue, but the way that you formatted it makes it seem removed and fuzzy, if that makes any sense. Distant.

Even though he's still in mourning, I'm glad to see that he was able to play the piano and apparently clean the house. I really want him to be able to move on! I think that's also what Victoire would want.

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #21, by kenpo Empty House

7th July 2014:
Hello again!

Once again, this is very beautiful, very well written, and very very sad. In the first chapter, he says how he'll remember her, and now we see what physical things she left behind: a house. A house with a kitchen and a nursery and pictures upon pictures.

You've given them so much history here, with the pictures. They're two people who have known each other since forever, who seem to have been together for some time, who are friendly with Rose, who are ambitions and have their own careers, and who work together. You've given them this entire life, just from the shell of this house. I can understand why Teddy doesn't want to clean those photographs, and why they'd be so powerful for him.

You gave a hint as to why she killed herself - did it have something to do with multiple miscarriages? That's heartbreaking. Is there anyone else there to help out Teddy?

This writing is beautiful, and you should be happy with this.

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #22, by kenpo All The Things

7th July 2014:
Hello!

Alright, so... wow. This was intense. I'm really looking forward to reading the rest. The structure of this is insane. I never would've had the guts to format a chapter like this, but the way that you do it works so well and makes me feel so much.

From all of the ways that he'll remember her, it's so clear that he was deeply in love. Every line seems really carefully chosen, and the length fits. It isn't too short, but you also didn't go on for too long. I've written a story about dealing with a significant other's attempted suicide, and a story about Victoire dealing with Teddy's death, so I'm really looking forward to seeing what you did with this.

You just put so much into this! You've loaded in massive amounts of characterisation, not only for Teddy but Victoire. What he wants to remember her by shows a lot about his own character.

Another thing that I loved was the way you worded the last line. You could've said "instead of the corpse you are", or even something like "instead of the girl who killed herself". But saying "the corpse you chose to be" tells so much about how Teddy is feeling, and it's very sad.

This was incredibly well-written! I'm looking forward to the rest of it.

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review0

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #23, by Veritaserum27 Blue Star

7th July 2014:
What a fabulous ending! You were hinting that Teddy was almost ready to move on in the last chapter and we see here that finally, he has. The words you chose make it obvious that he is more at peace with himself and his new world.

Cara is an ocean, calm one day, with the sparkles of the sea in her eyes, but fierce as a tidal wave. Sometimes I find myself in the centre of the hurricane with her, the world around me turned upside down.

This is such a beautiful way to describe a character and it is nothing short of impressive that it is an original character that makes an appearance in the last 200 words of the story - that is utterly amazing. Your descriptions are so poetic that I don't really feel like I'm reading the story, more I'm experiencing it - just along for the ride of emotion that you took me on.

Thank you for writing this. I can tell that it came from the heart and those make the best, most beautiful stories.

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #24, by Veritaserum27 One Year

7th July 2014:
Beautiful, beautiful job of painting a picture of someone who is slowly coming out of the fog. Teddy is just starting to be ready to move on. He knows that he can't give up on his own life - that Victoire would have wanted him to have a good life. He knows that the "black spot" on his heart is still there, but he doesn't feel it every day. I feel like Teddy thinks the house is too much of a reminder of the life he is trying to move past. Just like the piano, he has too many reminders of her by being in the same place where they were trying to make their memories.

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review

Review #25, by Veritaserum27 Selfish Man

7th July 2014:
This is an important stage for Teddy. I really liked the part about how he puts on a good face for friends and family. Victoire's death is the hardest on him - even more so that Bill and Fleur because they at least have each other. But Teddy was left utterly alone. He needs time. I think that many people try to put a timeline on themselves or others when a serious loss happened, and you just can't do that. The grieving process is personal and different for everyone. Teddy hasn't even yet tried to grapple with the reasons for Victoire's actions - although he hints in this chapter that there were signs early on.

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hiya!

Thank you for this wonderful review. Unfortunately due to the nature of this fic, I am unable to properly respond to the amount of reviews I have without reliving some emotional moments. However please know that I have read this and it means so much to me that you left this wonderful review!

Lo :)


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>