7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Mirrormirrorlove A Tolerable Tomorrow

30th September 2015:
I liked that. Very intense and an interesting read. You characters were all very thought out and the plot line was orginal and capturing.
Overall nice job.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I haven't had much feedback on this particular story and it's great to here that it worked. I wrote most of it a year and a half ago so I cringe at some of the writing when I look at it, but I was always fond of these characters. I'm glad you liked them too.
Gladis Gudgeon

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Review #2, by Veritaserum27 A Late Night

20th October 2014:
Hi there!

I'm tagging you from review tag! I thought I'd give this story a whirl and I have to say I think you've got an really powerful mix of characters here. The first chapter accomplished setting up the scene and creating some conflict. I really felt for Scorpius and Irene. They've had a harrowing time and you wrote the love between Albus and Scorpius really well. It is obvious they really care about each other. I thought you also wrote Scorpius's self-harm really well. It was handled delicately and with understanding, instead of flat and cold.

The other characters all seem intriguing and clearly there's a place for a lot of drama to ensue.

I did notice a few typos here and there and that can take away from the story a bit. The ending seemed a bit cut off, BUT I really liked the part where Leila was kept up by her roommate with her silly complaining. I feel like a tiny bit more editing would really tie this together - kind of like a scene where we look into the castle - all the different rooms on the same evening and we see each of the characters and their problems.

Great start - I'm curious to know more about this gang!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth,
It is so good to have a review for this story. I know something is wrong with the first chapter in the flow, but I haven’t quite figured out what to change. It’s great to get some more critique. I’m glad you liked the premise. I wrote the first chapter with no idea what would come next. I just had some characters I wanted to explore.

I’m so relived that I did a good job portraying the self-harm aspect. It can become cliché so quickly. I have several friends who self-harmed and I really wanted to do justice to that mindset. Most fanfiction and even many traditional books act like there is only one type of cutting, but can be a very different experience for different people. I go more in depth with this later in the story.

I hope you liked the story enough to keep reading. I have no reviews on the later chapters, and don’t know how to fix them. I am always happy to directly trade reviews.

Gladis G.

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Review #3, by MargaretLane A Late Night

5th October 2014:
I really like the way you draw attention to the family rivalry between Scorpius and Albus and how that would cause more problems than the fact they are gay, because it's bound to bother Harry and Ginny a little if their son is going out with the grandson of the man who nearly caused Ginny to die in the Chamber of Secrets. They might be supportive, but I bet a part of them would be thinking, "great, does this mean we have to try and be civil to one of the leading ex-Death Eaters?" and equally Draco is bound to feel uncomfortable with his son dating Harry's.

And yikes, when I read down to the next paragraph, I find out Scorpius is being raised by Lucius and Narcissa rather than his parents. Lucius is bound to have objections to the Potters. After all it was Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Luna and Neville who caused him to be sent to Azkaban at one point.

I think they'd have to hide the fact they spent nights together anyway, as they are at school and I can't see any teacher being OK with a couple of 15 year olds (which is all they'd have been in 5th year) spending their nights with a boyfriend. There's a reason boys can't go into the girls' dormitories after all.

Yikes, Lucius Malfoy is cruel in this. I mean, he's cruel in canon too, but he does seem to be a loving, even indulgent father. I wonder why it is that he treats Scorpius so harshly.

You do the changes of point of view well. It is hard to cover so many different points of view in one chapter without it getting confusing or sounding jumpy, but this really doesn't.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. This story doesn't have very many. I'm glad the POV changed worked out, the chapter was a bit random. I didn't even know what the story was going to be when I wrote it. I might have gone a bit over kill with Lucius. I just thought that his son's death may have been a trigger for him to completely detach emotionally, and he wasn't a very nice guy in the books either. I hope it didn't seem too cliche with the abuse, there is a lot more to it that is reveled later.

I hope you keep reading!
Gladis G.
P.S. Albus and Scorpius are in 6th year in the story.

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Review #4, by ihate coming up with usernames A Brainstorming Brunch

2nd August 2014:
Exploding glitter should be used when Scorpious freaks out and throws the glitter in one of the guards eyes making them all coagh in purple and pink dust, leaving them to escape, with Albus and Irene both extremely ingured, and irene's cousin with a broken leg. later Irene says "i knew that would come in handy" Great Story

Author's Response: Thanks for the review and idea. If I end up using it I will make sure to say who gave it to me. I'm glad you like the story and hope you keep reading.
Gladis Gudgeon
P.S. I love your username! I chose mine because I'm such a hopeless fangirl.

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Review #5, by The_Crookshanks_Saga A Late Night

27th July 2014:
Hi, this is The_Crrokshanks_Saga (or The_Crookshanks_Saga- curse cg dyslexia) from the REVIEW TAG

I have to admit, I was a bit shocked when I saw this story had seven chapters and only two reviews. It's very good writing, if a bit cliche. I might be slightly prejudiced, however- I never really liked ScorAl. I think, though, that if you make a few sentences a bit easier to follow, put in less exposition, and fewer rapturous thoughts about Irene Malfoy, this could get way more reviews.


Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I was a bit surprised as well that the story wasn't getting any reviews, but I'm really new at this so I didn't know what to think. I'm glad you liked the story. The first chapter is a bit lame, I wrote it at like two in the morning and didn't really edit it before putting it up. The character Hugo is completely romanticizing Irene, but I see where it might get excessive.Thank you for the critique, I will actually use it.
Gladis Gudgeon

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Review #6, by WishIWasaWeasley A Distasteful Dawn

26th June 2014:
Wow I think this story is awesome! Can't wait to see how it all unfolds!

Author's Response: WishIWasaWeasley,
Thank you so much for reviewing. They mean a lot to me. I am new to the fan fiction world, and am slightly insecure about my stories. So I really appreciate the reviews. I'm glad you liked my story. It started out a bit random, but I have a master plan now, I promise. I hope you keep reading, and are not disappointed.
Gladis Gudgeon
P.S. Check out my other stories. The death of Snape one is the most popular!

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Review #7, by po-ta-to A Late Night

22nd June 2014:
Wow I feel though this fic is exactly what I needed! I think the characters are perfect.

Author's Response: Po-ta-to
Thank you so much for reviewing. I wouldn't say perfect, but I appreciate it.I hope you keep reading.
Gladis Gugdeon
PS I love your name!

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