Reading Reviews for Icarus
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Felpata Lupin Old and New

30th July 2014:
Hello!
I'm not very good at writing reviews, so let's just say... AMAZING!!!
I came across your story this morning and read it in one breath (I'm not really a fan of next generation, but your summary had me intrigued and I wasn't disappointed in the slightest!)
I love Lily and her friends! All your characters are so funny and natural, and your writing is so fluent and pleasant (which doesn't happen always...)
Now I'm really curious about what's going to happen... What is the misterious silver box? Please, update soon, cause I have to find out!
Hugs!
Chiara

 Report Review

Review #2, by Infinityx Old and New

18th June 2014:
Hello! I'm here to review the Sci-Fi entries!

Like you mentioned in your A/N, there aren't any sci-fi elements just yet, but I really enjoyed the first two chapters. I love how you gave a little peek into what Lily's life is like and her character. Great going on attempting your first Next-Gen, by the way! I'm so happy that this fic got you to try something new! (I'm still really scared to write Next-Gen. I also like the voice you've given to Lily. It's really casual and easy to read.

What really got me curious was that little log at the beginning of the prologue. Who was she? And Lily got burned? What. :o It was a great idea to include that bit as it really made this even more exciting, for I knew that something major is going to happen.

I'm guessing that the cube is what will turn everything topsy-turvy. Great start to the story! Let me know when you update, as I'd love to read more!

~Erin

Author's Response: Hi Erin! Thank you! I was really hoping to have more chapters posted, but your challenge sparked this idea that I was hoping would be a short story, and then became a novella, and then a novel, and in order to set it up the actual sci fi stuff got delayed. Ah, such is life. Anyway, thanks, I was intimidated to write a next-gen at first but it works really well with the scifi genre, I think (I hope!) And I'm so happy you like Lily's voice in this, thanks!

I am glad you liked the log at the beginning. I wanted to kind of cast a shadow on all these silly, frivolous things that are currently happening in Lily's life by contrasting it with the future. We'll get to that point in the story eventually though ;)

I will definitely let you know about updates - if all goes according to plan there should be a new one next week or so. Fingers crossed (I'm a slow writer :P)

Thanks for your review and for the awesome challenge!


 Report Review

Review #3, by patronus_charm Old and New

16th June 2014:
Hi Kristin!

I really liked the opening section as we got to learn more about Lilyís life which was really interesting. I really liked how she wasnít this perfect girl where life just works for her because that so often happens with the next gen children because of her parents and she was actually kind of normal which makes it a lot more enjoyable to read. Also, when all the scifi action happens it will be much more interesting too as we will be able to relate to her much more.

Lilyís friends are really cool! I love Martha because, again, she was relatable because if I was best friends with a famous personís daughter I would probably turn into some sort of fame hungry person too so donít worry, Iím with you there Martha! I can just see how all three of them are so close though as Lily could guess right away that something was up with Iris and it was just nice to see such a lovely friendship.

Haha, the telling the future stuff made me laugh a lot though I sometimes wish that stuff actually worked as it would be so cool :D

ĎHe has an internship in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic where I'm fairly certain he talks to ghosts.í Ok this is so cool as this is my favourite Ministry department so I hope we get to see a lot more of Lance so I get to know more about it, and he seems cool too!

Ooh a mysterious ending! I wonder what that sound is? Hmm, is it too soon to guess about it being to do with the log at the beginning of the last chapter. Maybe itís some sort of magical bomb designed to blow up all the Potters because of what they did to Voldy? So many questions I canít wait to find out the answers!

-Kiana

Author's Response: I'm going to pretend it didn't take me a month to reply to this. Sorry.. :p

Ah, I'm so glad that Lily comes across as normal! Despite her fame and her aversion to fame, she does have the same struggles any young twentysomething has.

I am really happy to hear that you like her friends as well! Marta is certainly something, yeah. I'm glad that her desire for fame makes her understandable rather than just dislikeable, haha.

I love the Department of Mysteries too, I think it would be the coolest! So much to explore :)

Yes haha, this is me trying my hand at some sort of mysterious plot which I think may be difficult because I'm the worst at not divulging all plot points instantly. I love your theories! Answers are coming within the next two chapters ;)

Thank you so much for your review ♥


 Report Review

Review #4, by patronus_charm Prologue

8th June 2014:
Hi Kristin!

Ooh, I love Lily! She just made me laugh throughout and she has these wonderful sarcastic thoughts and yeah sheís so cool! I found it really interesting how much Lily hated the unoriginality of her name and the family names in general and I wonder if that will play a part in her actions. I imagine it will make her want to do something and stand out perhaps and I just canít wait to see where it leads her.

There was just so many great jokes attached to their names but I have to highlight this one ĎPoor Albus Severus Potter, whose middle name comes from a man who hated Dad and apparently was in love with my namesake Lily. And of course my other brother, James, is named after our grandfather Ė the one who was married to Lily. Gross. I try not to think about my name too much.í As it was just so great and I didnít realise how creepy it all was until now :P

Ooh the Captainís Log sounds intriguing! Ah, what did she try and change? Iím guessing this from the future so yay she got her dreams sort of fulfilled as she now has something to do but Iím really worried now. Did you not listen to your Aunt Hermione about never changing things in the past, Lily? *tuts disapprovingly* it does sound so cool though and I canít wait to see where this leads :D

I thought this was an excellent attempt at next gen and Iím so glad that you did it as it does sound so interesting and different to all the other next gens out there and we need more of these ones so whoo! I canít wait to read on :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! Aaa thanks for this wonderful review! I'm so glad you like Lily! Her narrative voice is so much fun to write. :)

Lol, I'm glad you appreciated that part. Lily's mini-rant there is essentially just my ill-disguised distaste for parts of the epilogue. I couldn't help it! :P but yes it is a little creepy isn't it?

Yep she did change something she shouldn't have. Heh heh... :p Her Aunt Hermione would be disappointed indeed.

Haha thanks, that is so good to hear as I'd been pretty terrified of writing next gen for a while, since there's all these characters I could never remember and it seemed intimidating :p So it is wonderful to hear that this is interesting and different yay! :D Thanks so much for your review ♥


 Report Review

Review #5, by BookDinosaur Old and New

6th June 2014:
This was so weird. (No it wasn't - but I'm going to make that officially a thing now, so prepare for all my reviews on this story opening with that line.) :P

Seriously though, this was lovely. I really enjoyed seeing the relationships and the development of character we got in this chapter. The group of three girls seem to complement each other nicely, with Iris as the mother figure to the wilder Marta and Lily. I really liked the dynamic they all had between them; it seemed really natural and sweet. :) I loved some of the backstory that we got on Marta and Lily as well, their friendship seems kind of unconventional but at the same time you made it obvious that they cared for one another, which was really nice.

Ahahaha Marta and her crush on Harry Potter was so funny, it probably shouldn't be but oh goodness I can definitely see some girls in the Wizarding World swooning over him. :P And Lily's 'lalala I can't hear you' reaction was so realistic as well, that made me laugh out loud.

I really enjoyed some of the shenanigans the girls got up to; searching around in huge bins for bowls and how they found their old games while they're meant to be wedding planning. I loved that game you had between them, it seems like something teenage girls would do and then store away just for kicks and giggles, I know some of my friends and I did that some years ago, but in verbal rather than written form. :P

Lance and Marta seem really nice as well, is it bad that I already kind of ship them? Her way of trying to creep him out was so funny, hehe.

I'm really glad we got to see more of Lily as well, her unemployment troubles were great to read about and how she liked her lifestyle was funny as well, because most of the unemployed MCs I see are searching quite hard for a job. Also, her procrastination was something I could definitely get behind; in two days, half a job application is good enough for her.

I loved what Lance pointed out as well; she's naturally going to have more influence over people because she's famous, and it seemed so natural that she was against that idea but she should utilise it actually, it's a great point and she could really do some good things with that.

Ooh and that little silver box at the end was mysterious! Is that the first of the sci-fi elements you're going to incorporate? WILL IT LEAD TO A MAGICAL SPACESHIP?! Whee so exciting, I love the idea of a robotic Pygmy Puff although I hope the little box thing is slightly more exciting than that. :P

Anyway Kristin, you've probably had enough of my crazy ramblings now so I'll just wrap up with this was a great chapter and I'm really looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Hahaha right. :D I can handle that.

I'm glad you like the friendships and character development here, thanks! Iris is definitely the mother figure to both of them, although I wouldn't necessarily say Lily is wild, just irresponsible, and can easily be pressured into Marta's schemes. More about them coming up :) And yes you're right, it's a pretty weird friendship!

haha I'm glad you appreciated Marta's crush on Harry. I think Lily is probably used to stuff like that, but coming from one of her best friends it's too much!

Hooray for dumpster diving! Marta is really into collecting useless stuff and recycling. And that game... definitely one I played when I was 15 or so, and it is so fun to find that stuff later and laugh at it and play it again just for fun. So yeah this section is slightly inspired by real life :p

Hehe, Lance and Marta, quite the interesting pair. I love writing them. I don't think it's bad that you ship them already! Though Lance might disagree.

Lily is a bit of a hypocrite, I think, in terms of her unemployment. She wants a job on her own merit, but she's perfectly fine being slow about getting a job because her Dad is rich and wouldn't let his daughter be broke... *eyeroll* But yes half a job application is something! Lance does have a point though, yeah.

Ehehehe the silver box... it definitely leads to *something*... probably not a robotic Pygmy Puff. And that's all I'll say on that matter.

I love your crazy ramblings! Honestly this fic is just a crazy ramble so we're even. Thanks so much for your review!!! ♡ ♡


 Report Review

Review #6, by bellatrixlestrange123 Prologue

5th June 2014:
Hi there! I'm here with your requested review!

In your areas of concern, you were worried about whether or not the story was generally interesting and honestly, I don't think that you should be! I think that this story and the plot is very out there and I'm very interested to what becomes of these characters and how Lily becomes involved with it all. I am particularly interested to know how Lily goes from her everyday job to some really cool Si-Fi adventures :p

I think that it takes a very brave writer to write something that sometimes is a bit out of their comfort zone (Obviously I'm not too sure if writing Si-fi is something that you are or aren't familiar with) but this is a bit unorthodox from most fics. And for that I hand you an award! It's a breath of fresh air to read stories that are a little bit unconventional - it adds to the engrossment factor for the reader!

I really liked how you began the chapter. The 'captain's log' was a really nice touch to add some ominous vibes into the atmosphere, it was great! I also think that you did a very very good job in giving us a lot of detail about Lily's character and her attitude to her family and the fact that she doesn't work and has house mates. All of this is, in my opinion, very important to be included in the first few chapters if not the very first; any questions that the reader may have are answered this way. You did exactly this so well done!

You've also done a very good job of making the tone very light hearted and humorous so it's refreshing to read and doesn't sort of weigh you down as a reader - which is always a bonus!

*hides* don't hate me but - the only thing I will say is that it became slightly repepative after a few paragraphs, I think that the topic of family dominated this chapter a little bit. This is more just an observation than a CC because making family the main theme might have been your intention all along! (which is fine). But if it was something that was accidental, then I think if you just added more about Lily and used it to strengthen her character a little bit more, it would be really good.

All in all, I found no punctuation.grammar errors. There were just a few typos such as '(This was one of the reasons James (meaning my brother Ė see why this is confusing?)' but none that jarred the story up in anyway!!

I hope that this was helpful and I think that your first next-gen fic is great and has amazing potential as it grows! All the best!

Bella :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing! Awesome, I'm glad that it seems interesting so far despite being kind of a strange story.

Wow, thank you! I love sci-fi books and movies/tv, but this is my first serious attempt at writing my own scifi plot. So that is really wonderful to hear!

I'm glad you appreciated the captain's log. I think that since otherwise the beginning is like a standard next gen fic, I wanted to add just a touch of mystery and ominousness so the lighthearted rest of the chapter is kind of seen through a lens, I guess. I wanted to create a strange contrast there haha. Thanks, I'm glad you like the amount of info about Lily here. I honestly thought I'd kind of done a bit of an info dump so I'm glad to hear this is not the case!

That is a good observation, and actually yes, her family does become rather important later on... but if it seemed too repetitive, I'll have a look and see if I can edit some of that out.

Ooh, I hadn't realised that was a typo, so thanks! I guess parentheses inside parentheses (Parentheception?) is a bit too much, haha

You were very helpful, thanks! I really appreciate your review!


 Report Review

Review #7, by BookDinosaur Prologue

8th May 2014:
This was so weird.

KIDDING, KRISTIN. I promised to drop a review, did I not?

I am very much looking forward to seeing where you go from here. This whole chapter was written with a sort of dry humour that I love and I can only imagine how interesting it'll be to have life-changing and completely befuddling events relayed in Lily's lovely narrative, hahaha. I really loved how Lily hated her name so much and complained about mixing up the original Lily nd James with herself and her brother, oh dear. I think Hyacinth is a nice name, and Albus has no right to criticise any name after hearing his own. :P

It's really interesting how you included a Remembance Day, for a second I thought you meant ANZAC Day and triple-checked the date, haha. And then I realised that May 2nd was the day of the Battle of Hogwarts, duh. *wallbash*

Anyway, I really like Lily as a character so far! I loved how blase she was about the whole Remembrance Day shebang, and how her state of unemployment makes it just another day for her, haha. She seems so dry and funny, I'm really looking ofrward to seeing some more of her!

The whole premise of this story seems really odd as well, haha, what with this whole thing about erasing existence being alluded to, oh dear. How on earth does one erase Voldemort from history? This is the kind of thing only you could answer me, Kristin. :P And why are you warning me to run the other way if I'm attached to a canon ship? You know how passionate I am about Dramione (not at all).

That ship's log at the beginning was relly interesting as well - did Lily somehow enter a parallel universe or something? And I don't know, I'm sort of glad that she returns home, in loads of books if the alien land is in trouble the hero/ine will stay and help them fight it out, which I always viewed as an incredibly selfless/unrealistic act. So to see Lily doing the opposite was a refreshing change. :)

Anyway, this was a great first chapter, I can't wait to read the next one, so update soon, okay?

Author's Response: Hi! Hahaha, it is a little weird :p

I'm glad you like Lily's dry humour in this. I think it'll be quite strange to be writing a sci-fi in this voice, but that's what's happening :p And yes, she does complain rather a lot in this chapter. I suppose she has her reasons. Lolol you and Lily may be the only people who like that name :p

I feel like the battle of Hogwarts would have had some sort of memorial day, as it was such an important event. But also I think that for a kid growing up relatively sheltered and in a peaceful time, rather removed from everything, the day wouldn't mean as much as it would to people who lived through it.

I am so, so glad to hear you like Lily so far! This is my first next-gen and tbh I was quite intimidated to write next-gen characters O_O So that is very reassuring.

Hehehe. It is quite a weird premise! You will find out how in a couple of chapters from now. And as for running away.. lets just say that I had a lot of fun with the AU aspect of this muahaha. And I know you secretly love Dramione, because they have a super impressive pirate ship with an avian captain and who doesn't love that. But anyway... I never said anything about Dramione in this fic ;)

As the ship's log is from a future date, I'm not telling you anything about it haha - that's what the story is for. I suppose I'm not spoiling anything by saying that Lily does enter a parallel universe at some point (after all, it says so in the summary :P ) what an insightful point to make about Lily returning home, too. More on that later.. much later :P

Thank you so much for reading and for your wonderful review!!! ♡


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login