Reading Reviews for Icarus
  
26 Reviews Found

Review #1, by patronus_charm Cultivated Arts

25th November 2014:
*ninja slides in* I am so sorry for taking aeons with this Kristin, my only sort of valid excuse is that memory has been like that of a goldfish's lately so I hope you forgive me! :P

I loved the Weasley family as they all had such exuberant personalities! First of all, I must admit I am bit creeped out/scared by Harry and how he knows all these random facts about people. I can just imagine him being this all seeing, all knowing person while he sits in his office stroking a white cat. :P Albus and James made me crack up and I thought you wrote them really well together as it was so natural and funny. Aw, Albus is adorable learning Chinese just for a girl though and I do hope we get to see more of those two as they really did make me smile.

Yay for world making! I loved Steve's it sounded so interesting and like a lot of drama had happened there before so I hope it features again. Ooh ooh ooh tension with Lily seeing her ex-girlfriend, I hope we get to see more of her as that will mean drama which will mean excitement and yeah you get the gist :P I have to say, Marta really warmed to me in this chapter even though she did kind of steal something from the Ministry she had this really cool and vibrant character which just draws people into her and you want to know more. I have a feeling the thing she took is going to be very, very dangerous and probably top-secret too so it will be interesting to see how the story develops from here.

You write humour so well because that scene with Marta and Lily changing names and being generally awkward around Conor had me cracking up throughout and I really would want to spend a day with them as I can imagine it would be fun.

Great chapter! :D

-Kiana

 Report Review

Review #2, by LightLeviosa5443 Old and New

19th November 2014:
Hi again!

So I know myself and I was really worried that I would prioritize wrong and end up not continuing on reading this story, which made me decide that a review swap was the perfect way to ensure that I read chapter two! (sorry if you're getting sick of me :P )

I love this narration, it's so personal and spunky and just really enjoyable. I love the way she thinks and talks about herself, and the people around her and her view of the world is filtered in a way that is both amusing and very realistic. It's just a nice little nuance to the story that I definitely felt I had to compliment.

Wow, Lily might not have it all together, but at least she doesn't have rotting food sitting close to the door. That's so awful. I'm really curious as to what this friend does/is about that has prompted such a state of disorder in their flat. LOL I was not expecting her to go digging in trash bins looking for cookware and dinnerware for her friend because she tossed out a bowl. That's just... Dedication.

I love that her friend is acknowledging that Lily lives inside her head because so much of the novel so far has really been in her head, and it's nice to know that real time is happening while we see the past and her thoughts, and not just seconds as we get a quick backstory.

I really am so interested to see what Lily is going to end up doing with herself, job wise. Especially now that Iris is leaving. I love that you have her verbalize that she wants to do something on her own merit because I think that's such an important point that all of the Potter-Weasley kids would have to deal with in some way or other.

This was a really wonderful chapter, I'm so glad I started reading this story :)

Nudge me if I don't keep up on it!!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Haha I would never get sick of you! Thanks so much for swapping with me!

I'm so glad you like the narration and how Lily sees the world around her - and so great to hear that she's at once amusing and realistic. That's especially great coming from you as I know you write a lot of Lily Luna yourself.

Haha, Marta really is a mess - and her ambivalence to that fact may be the main reason why Lily wouldn't be roommates with her :p Marta had a rough life and still struggles to make ends meet, and as I think I mentioned in this chapter (or maybe it's the next one) she's quite prone to stealing. So Lily and Marta's dumpster diving adventure was kind of like their compromise, as it's actually legal, haha. And there's other reasons for Lily's dedication, but we'll get into those later on.

A lot of the story does take place in Lily's head! She's not that much of a talker, but I'm glad that hasn't made the story boring in any way.

Exactly - the Weasley/Potter kids are kind of in a tough situation as there's a lot of pressure and attention on them, and probably other people expecting them to fill the shoes of their parents in a way. I'm glad you liked the way that was brought up.

Thank you so much for your review!!


 Report Review

Review #3, by 1917farmgirl Cultivated Arts

19th November 2014:
Okay, you miss, are a sneaky author. I caught several things in this story that have nothing to do with this story, hehehe.

1. I see the interest in the ever interesting and arrogant, if slightly insane, Lockhart continues. Nice plug.

2. Swearing in Chinese? I'm on to you, dong ma. I am, I am.

3. So, Agatha Christy was a witch, huh? Interesting...

I knew it! I knew it! I knew Marta somehow was responsible for that cube showing up. She stole it. This can't be good at all.

You know, I don't know this new Connor dude, but I have to be a little on his side. They should be more careful what they are talking about in public. Some of us Muggles are not as dumb as we look.

Now, is Connor from the future? Is this all a set up to something? Am I overthinking? Probably.

A screen with weird writing, a strange button. HELLO LILY! You DO NOT PUSH STRANGE BUTTONS!!! Didn't your mother ever tell you about her experience with a strange diary? Man, this family needs to share personal stories.

I have a bad feeling about this. I have seen too many of these scifi things. There will be a wormhole, or a vortex, or a fluxation in the time-space continuum or something and then bad things will happen.

You should have just read that book, Lily.

Author's Response: 1. You caught me. I actually do love writing Lockhart, and I missed it. Not necessarily a plug for the other story, more like me just reliving his fun POV :p

2. Haha! This will not be a Firefly crossover, just throwing that out there. Unfortunately.

3. The titles of her books, particularly those two, were just too good to ignore!

You guessed it! Maybe I should just have you guess the entire plot and then that'll give me clues as to what I should actually write from here on out. XD

Conor does have a point. Marta can be quite self involved sometimes and not think about things like that. As for Conor being from the future, I won't say a word because I like to be evil and mysterious, but I love your hypotheses! :D

Lily inherited an unfortunate trait from her father which is that she sometimes pokes her nose where it doesn't belong!

There will be... something. Wouldn't it be cool if it was actually an ice cream machine?

Thanks so much for your review! :)


 Report Review

Review #4, by LightLeviosa5443 Prologue

18th November 2014:
Hi! Thanks so much for review swapping with me!

I've decided to read one of your more serious novels this time, and I'm so glad I did! :P Right off the bat I'm pulled into the story by the strong narration of the main character, and I really like how much of her personality shines through here. It makes the story feel spunky and fun which is a great contrast to the journal entry, but also a really great connection. The captain obviously wishes he could go with Lily and her infectious personality here makes me wonder just how she affected the lives of the crew in this alternate universe that you've mentioned. I have no idea what I'm talking about in that last bit, but I basically just really really love Lily's characterization and the way that you've handled her narration.

I love that you have her taking the time to reminisce on her family and imagine what the people who came before her were like. I'm particularly enjoying the way she's reflecting on Harry's parents and the memories that she has associated with them. I really loved the way that you made the connection between James (the first) who is dead and George who is living because it shows how we sometimes connect people in the past who we've only heard stories of, to people in our present and that's how we relate to them and feel like we know them. It's just a really cool section of the story.

This was a really great starting chapter and I think this story is going to be so interesting. This chapter flowed so well and like I said before I'm really in love with the narration and the characterization that you've shown here. I'm really interested in seeing where you take this story and thanks so much for doing a review swap with me!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Hehe, I don't know about 'serious'. At some points I think it's a parody disguised as a regular fic, but at other times it delves into science fiction and cause/effect pretty heavily. So I'm not sure how to classify it. :p

I am so glad that you like the contrast between the captain's log and Lily's narration, and that her personality jumps off the page to you! I was so nervous to write Next-Gen when I began this story, because after 8 years of writing fanfic I'd never once touched that era, but I find that I really like it now. :P Anyway, I'm thrilled that you liked her characterization and her style of narration.

I love what you point out about James the first and George - although it was never directly said in the chapter, that's exactly what I was getting at and I'm so glad you interpreted it that way.

Thanks so much, it really is wonderful to hear that you like the narration and the story flow! This was such a great review, thanks for the swap :)


 Report Review

Review #5, by Unicorn_Charm Cultivated Arts

18th November 2014:
Hi there! I thought I would just continue on, because I'm really enjoying this. :)

I loved that dinner scene at the Potters! It definitely reminded me of my brothers and myself. Even though we are older, we definitely regress to children when having dinner with our parents haha. That just felt so real. Harry trying to suppress a smile while they were acting like idiots was really funny. :)

I definitely felt Lily's pain at not wanting to go out. It's really annoying when you're home, comfy and reading, and then a friend bursts in begging you to go out. I do like the idea of them going to a seedy Muggle bar as opposed to the Leaky Cauldron. It seems to fit in with Lily's character and how she doesn't want to draw attention to herself.

I can't believe (well actually I kind of can) that Marta stole that odd cube thing! How in the world did she get away with it?! She really must be an expert kleptomaniac hahaha. I'm wondering if that dude they met really is just some harmless guy, hoping Marta goes home with him, or if there's something more sinister going on there. Or if he has anything to do with that cube!

Ah! I loved the Simon and Garfunkel reference/lyrics thrown in there! I absolutely love that song and thought that was fantastic. I wondered if Lily kind of had a thing for Marta. I guess this chapter answered that for me. I wonder if Marta knows...

Oh my gosh! And now something happened with the strange cube! What is going to happen?? I have to read on and find out. That was some cliffhanger there. :) Awesome chapter! I'm loving this so far. ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Eeee thank youuu I can't handle how nice you are ♥ ♥

I'm so glad that dinner scene felt real to you and that you could relate to it! :D Haha, I really love writing the Potter family as I just imagine them being so cool.

Lily is pretty introverted and likes to stay out of the public eye, but her friendship with Marta does get in the way of that a bit as Marta loves attention. So that's their manner of compromise. I'm glad you thought that location seemed to fit Lily's character!

Marta really is an expert. As for the dude at the pub... I love that he is raising these sorts of questions for you. But I'm not saying anything :P

It was so funny writing that actually as I really did not originally intend to make a reference to that song at all until I realized how fitting it was, especially as I had already picked out the pseudonym Cecilia for Marta. It just wrote itself in! And no. Marta knows that Lily likes girls, but doesn't realise that she is the particular girl Lily likes. :-/

Something happened indeed. Bwahaha. I'm so glad you liked the chapter despite my evil cliff hanger. Thanks soo much for your reviews on this, really made my day. ♥


 Report Review

Review #6, by 1917farmgirl Old and New

17th November 2014:
Okay, so first off, you have a knack for writing characters! Seriously, I never in a thousand years would have thought you could take this group of dysfunctional characters and weave them together into a story, but you did! And they are so vivid in their portrayal! It's like I can see them in my head. You have given them strange flaws, but in the end that just makes them more human. Although, I'm not sure I could handle Marta as a roommate/friend. She is very intense, and I would feel the need to clean all the time as I don't do weeks old food. hehehe

Next - Wow has Lily got a voice! Not as in she was yelling or anything, but this character comes right off the pages and tells me she knows exactly who she is. There is nothing generic about her. Bravo to your writing skills!

I also love how you are melding Muggle and magical stuff in this. Though I must admit I was a little worried when Lance came over. I thought he might be a Muggle and they were going to have to hide stuff fast. Was relieved that he's Muggleborn and knows what's up.

He talks to ghosts?!?! WOW! What a job! And, do I sense that somehow, that little nugget of information will be important in the future? Of course I could have just watched too many scifi shows so who knows.

LILY, DO NOT TOUCH THE BOX!!! That can't be good! Where did it come from? Did Marta leave it? Is she not who she seems to be? Did it just appear?

I know you've never seen it, but there is this strange, pulsating cube that exists in Andromeda known as the route of ages that can take you to different times and spaces. Makes me really worried about what this box is.

Well done! Will be back for more.

Author's Response: Hi Farmgirl! Eeee, this review made my day! Thank you so much, it means so much to me that you like the way I write my characters!! Haha though you're right, they are quite a dysfunctional bunch. There is a reason Marta is a friend rather than a roommate - neither Iris nor Lily could handle that kind of mess either! :P

Wow thank you so much for that compliment about Lily's narrative voice! I am so glad she is that clear and individual, aah thank you!

Lance is actually half-blood, but his dad is a Muggle so he's quite familiar with the Muggle side of the world and can relate to the Muggle-born Iris. I realise that at this point in the story Lance's background hasn't been discussed (as I didn't realise he was going to be a main character, believe it or not), but it is a couple of chapters later :p

Talking to ghosts would be super cool. Who knows if that's actually what he does though, because Lily has no idea. This is just her nearest guess. :D

LILY SHOULD LISTEN TO YOU. I'm so glad you're intrigued about the box!

Thanks sooo much for your reviews!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #7, by 1917farmgirl Prologue

17th November 2014:
Well, this is certainly interesting! I thought for just a moment I was in the wrong place and reading a Star Trek fic, with that captain's log at the beginning! That little paragraph has me very worried for how this story is going to turn out. I'm all for the occasional AU story to stop certain people from...er...dying, but even I know better than to mess with time! Grandfather clause and all that! WATCH OUT LILY!!

I think it's interesting that Lily seems very comfortable around both magic and Muggle things. Watching movies with her neighbor but having moving pictures in her flat and a magical family.

I also think it's interesting that she doesn't really like her name. Never thought before about how the Potter kids would react to their names. Nice spin.

Sorry if this review is a little on the short side. I just wanted you to know I was intrigued and reading. Nice writing, as always!

Author's Response: Hahaha, apparently it does seem to have that feel to it, you're not the first person to mention the Star Trek similarities :P Lily would do well to listen to you, as she seems to have a different opinion...

I figured that with Hermione for an aunt, and even with her father having grown up with Muggles, Lily would be more aware of the Muggle world than your average pureblood, for example.

haha, I'm glad you liked that about the names :P No worries about a short review, short is still lovely! I really appreciate the encouragement, thanks so much!!


 Report Review

Review #8, by Unicorn_Charm Old and New

17th November 2014:
Hi there!! Here for our swap! :)

Wow, I totally forgot I was even reading this for a review swap. I lost myself completely in this chapter. Lily's inner-voice is just so well done, descriptive, entertaining, sarcastic and captivating. I felt like I was right along side her, seeing everything she was.

Marta sounds like a real treat haha. She is so the complete and total opposite of Iris. It's a wonder that they have become friends at all. I love the idea of the Potters taken in another parent-less child! I mean, she does sound like she was more of a handful than Teddy would have been, but with Harry's childhood, I could totally see that happening.

I can't even tell you how much I love that they're playing the Wizards' version on MASH! My friends and I used to play that stupid game all the time, when we were younger. It always had some crazy outcome like you would marry a movie star, be rich, yet live in a shack haha. That was such a cute little moment for the girls.

I like the characters that you have introduced us to, but I'm afraid that we will not being seeing them all for too much longer. The end of this chapter definitely was foreboding with the mysterious silver cube. I can't wait to find out what it is!

I really like how you're setting this story up. Lily is just this normal, down on her luck girl, with average friends and a not so average life. Yet, you can feel that everything is just going to be turned upside down on her. I will most certainly be continuing on. I have to know what happens next!

Thank you for doing the swap! I can't wait to read on! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Meeggg. ♡ You are too wonderful leaving me this amazing review plus an extra one!

I'm so happy to hear that the narrative is absorbing and entertaining!

Haha, Marta is certainly something else. It is quite miraculous that she and Iris are friends as they are so opposite, but hey, stranger things have happened. Iris really takes care of people, no matter how offensive she finds them. :p I'm glad you appreciate the Potters taking Marta in, too. I could see Harry's sympathies for people in that situation overcoming the fact that she's a fame magnet.

So glad you enjoyed that bit about the Wizard version of MASH! Ahaha, what a ridiculous game, but I loved it way back in the day. And yeah didn't it always turn out that way? XD

That is a very astute observation, about possibly not seeing the characters much longer. I will neither confirm nor deny it. :P But I will say that you are correct in your feeling that things are going to be turned upside down soon.

Thanks so much for your review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by Felpata Lupin Inferno

17th November 2014:
Ahah! The first review is mine this time!!!
Well, Kristin. I really have nothing to say if not... this was positively BRILLIANT!
It was absolutely delighting following Lily's train of thought in this. And Lance... Oh, he's just so sweet, Merlin bless him!
I've loved every single detail you put in here. It really is a pretty different reality, isn't it? I mean, spaceships, and no more Statute of Secrecy, and... Moaning Myrtle?!? Minister for Magic?!? I mean, seriously?!?
I really can't wait to know what's up next!
Love, hugs and kisses!
Chiara.

Author's Response: Yes it is! you win! ☆

Aw, thanks! I'm so glad you continue to enjoy Lily's thoughts. Lance really is a sweetheart - Lily is quite lucky to have met up with him first thing upon arriving in the parallel universe.

So glad you like the details of what's different. Hahahah yes Moaning Myrtle XD Everything about this story is ridiculous, I'm aware - but since it's AU I can get away with it :P

Thanks so much for another wonderful review!!


 Report Review

Review #10, by Elyssia Playing with Fire

16th November 2014:
Review Swap!

Interesting story, I've yet to read a hp scifi fic. Just curious, does the name Icarus refer at all to Cracked . com's Starship Icarus, or is it the Greek story about flying too close to the sun?

I loved the very first paragraph in chapter 1. "Captains Log" brought me right back to my childhood of watching Star Trek :D

The first two chapters seemed a bit sluggish to me, but the last two really perked up and started to flow nicely :)

I just love Marta and her disregard of every rule imaginable. She says and does things I'd love to do but am waaay too chicken for.

I like how there's a good sense of humor in the story, but with a tiny bit of decorum to balance it out.

Good story so far! I can't wait to find out how getting rid of Voldemort brings in spaceships!

Keep up the good work!
Elyssia, A.K.A. Sorcha :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks, I'm so glad you find it interesting! It was written for a sci-fi challenge on the forums which I was stoked about because I love science fiction - and you're right, there don't seem to be too many sci-fi's here on HPFF. The title refers to the Greek myth of Icarus who flew too close to the sun.

Ah, so glad you liked the Captain's Log! :D Another reviewer mentioned that about Star Trek as well and I think I may have been subconsciously influenced by that even though I wasn't thinking of Star Trek when I wrote it!

The first two chapters were really just a set up to introduce the characters' personalities, daily life, etc, before everything goes haywire muahaha.

Hah, Marta is definitely a wild one - she is pretty fearless! I am so glad you like her :)

Thanks, I'm thrilled that you like the balance between humour and more serious things.

Part of your question about Voldemort and spaceships will be answered very soon. There's a bit about it in the next chapter, which will be up soon!

Thanks so much for your review and I'm so honoured that you kept reading through all four chapters for the swap, thanks! ♥


 Report Review

Review #11, by Unicorn_Charm Prologue

16th November 2014:
Hey there! Here for the swap!

I always imagined that the Next-Gen kids would feel a little resentful, backward and not quite sure how to deal with their parents' fame. You wrote that so, so well with Lily here. Her issues with her namesakes, having Harry as a father and the fame of her paternal grandparents and the Weasleys. I loved her inner-monologue so much.

I really enjoyed how she doesn't want to cash in on her fame, by simply walking in somewhere and pulling, "But I'm Harry Potter's Daughter," to get a job. Being the daughter of Harry and Ginny, it doesn't seem that they would be raised to behave that way, so that felt very realistic. I got a laugh out of her thinking how she and her brother were named after people who were married and in love haha. "Gross." That was really funny. :D

The little details that you added in here, were just perfect. The name Lily wants to use, if she were to have a daughter, shows that she inherited Ginny's horrid naming skills. (Pigwidgeon?? I still can't get over that one haha) How Arthur has Al collecting plugs (which was another thing that had me laughing out loud). The kids finding The Marauder's Map. It added a lot to this.

I really felt Lily's almost despair with growing up in this famous family and wishing they could all be normal and whole. You really got through how she wished that they could be just like anyone else, and, more importantly, how she wishes their lives were never destroyed by Voldemort. It was sad seeing that even this generation still feels the sting of what had happened because of him and the Death Eaters.

This was a really interesting beginning to your story and definitely has me wanting to continue on. I'm adding this to my reading list and will absolutely be back for more! Thank you for doing the swap! Really, really well done!! ♥

xoxo Meg

Author's Response: Hi Meg!
I'm really glad you like the way I wrote Lily's discomfort with fame, and just all of her internal monologue in general. Thanks so much!

It's so wonderful to hear you say that Lily sounds realistic, in that her parents raised her to not be too entitled relying on fame. Haha and the names - it's no secret that I think all of the next gen names are silly, as they're just named after all the other characters in the series. I figured that Lily might be a tad resentful as she and her brother being named after a married couple is a bit weird.

Omg, you're so right - I had forgotten about Pigwidgeon! The worst name ever XD But thanks, I'm so glad you liked the other details and odd quirks of the family :)

That is definitely a point I was hoping to get across as it becomes quite important later, so I'm glad that's what you took away from this chapter. So happy that you're enjoying the story and thanks so much for the swap and this awesome review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #12, by Veritaserum27 Prologue

14th November 2014:
Hi there!

Here for our review swap!

I really liked this chapter! It was a great prologue - really well done. I loved the first part - it was very technical sounding, almost like I could hear Captain Kirk (haha!) reporting the ship's log into the computer. And I also really liked that you started at the end - and gave us a little taste of what was going to happen, but not too much for us to really know the whole story.

Haha! I completely agree about the names! I've always thought that Lily Luna Potter might find it a bit repulsive that she and her brother were named after a married couple.

The way you kept her going with the names and silly idiosyncrasies about her family was both light and sweet at the same time. You showed us that Lily has a bright spirit, is a bit down about her life right now, but loves and cherishes her family, despite their craziness.

I'm also in love with the SciFi idea. This story is shaping up to be really interesting.

Nice job!

♥ Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth! I'm so glad to hear that you liked this chapter. Haha, and I love that you heard Captain Kirk's voice in the prologue - it's definitely intended to be that style of ship's log. (And now I'm wishing I'd done a Star Trek crossover :P ) And thanks, it's so great to hear that the starting with the end worked! I basically just intended to raise lots of questions with that bit ;)

Oh, the next gen names haha. My only real complaint about the entire HP series :P

You've summed up Lily's feelings perfectly - I'm glad it came across that way!

I love sci-fi, so I'm thrilled to hear that that aspect makes the story interesting! Thanks so much for your review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #13, by crestwood Prologue

11th November 2014:
Finally here for our swap!

I just had to choose this story once I read the summary because I kind of had an idea really similar to this one but I had NO IDEA what to do with it, so I can't wait to see what you think a world without Voldemort would look like.

The captain's log is so, so interesting. I have a million things running through my mind after reading that. I want to know what Lily got up to wherever she want so badly.

The idea of a day to commiserate the war is an excellent one, I think. Although, it probably would lose its punch after a generation.

I love that Lily is unemployed but unwilling to use her fame to make a living. That shows a whole lot of self respect and dignity right there.

Hyacinth is an. interesting name, in the same way Albus' plug collection would be.

I think Lily's hatred of the Next-Gen names is hilarious, even if I have grown to like them over the years.

It's weird because lack of superhero films with women in leading roles is one of my biggest pet peeves. The worst part for me is that there is more than enough superpowered woman to choose from in the comics and that Wonder Woman is literally a household name already, Black Widow has a huge fan base after The Avengers and the second Captain America film, etc. They blatantly go out of their way to make superhero movies a strictly boys club and it's stupid. /nerdrantover.

I am so ready for this sci fi story and I'm so ready for a world without Voldemort I actually have to come back and finish this because the premise alone made it obvious that I would like this and then you gave me this Lily with such a strong voice right from the beginning and it's obvious I need this in my life. Thank you for the swap!

- Joey

Author's Response: Hi Joey! Ah, I'm so excited that the premise interested you! The idea of a world without Voldemort was so intriguing to me and I'd seen a few fics that did it but everything was like, entirely the same except Harry didn't grow up with the Dursleys - I kind of threw canon out the window in this as I think probably a few more things would have changed! :p

Heh heh. The captains log is there to raise questions and no answers XD I am so thrilled that it is interesting and making you think!

I figured there'd be some sort of day to honour those who fought in the war as it was such a huge event in the wizarding world history - but exactly, like a lot of holidays we currently observe relating to past wars, it wouldn't mean as much to people who didn't live through it.

She does put her money where her mouth is regarding her dislike of fame. It puts her in a tough place though because she can't be sure of any employer's motives :-/

Yes. Well, weird names are probably normal to her, considering her family.

Haha, thanks! I have grown used to the next-gen names as they're so familiar now, but when I first read that epilogue I was kind of like "For real??" Albus Severus must have gotten teased.

RIGHT?! I'm glad you feel the same way about superhero films/women only being in the roles of sidekicks. There ARE female superheroes out there, and films about them would be awesome, if given the chance. /iappreciatedyournerdrant.

Yay! So stoked that you like this story and Lily's voice - that is really such a wonderful thing to hear! Thanks so much for your fantastic review!!


 Report Review

Review #14, by Felpata Lupin Playing with Fire

10th November 2014:
For me? Oh, wow, Kristin... Thank you!!! Your dedication made me so happy! :)
Another brilliant chapter, btw! I loved the way you introduced the concept of parallel universes in this, it was really interesting!
The conversation with Lance was just so amusing. Poor Lily, I can totally see why she is so confused…
So funny also the scene with Mrs Stebbins. Ahahah, poor Lily Evans, not able to wear pink…
Lily really shouldn’t have messed with the cube again… And now she’s stuck in some strange alternative reality... Ok, I need to know what happens next, so, please, update soon!
Thank you so much again for dedicating me this amazing chapter!
Lots of love,
Chiara.

Author's Response: Of course :) You've left so many reviews that really brightened my day, and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it! ♥

I'm glad you liked the way parallel universes were brought up, thanks! Poor Lily indeed - she ended up with more questions than answers! But yeah, parallel universes are complicated!

Ah yes, Mrs Stebbins.. she's a chatty one. I loved writing that scene :)

Lily would do well to take your advice! I think she will have figured that out now, as they say hindsight is 20/20. Whoops.

Working on the next chapter as we speak! :)

Thanks so much for this review! ★


 Report Review

Review #15, by BookDinosaur Playing with Fire

8th November 2014:
This was so weird.

KRISTIN HAI ♥ So, this was more exciting than weird, but it certainly posed a lot of rather weird questions! Gosh, what can I say? You're travelling into that whole multi-verse theory where the universes overlap which always confuses me so so much, and it might be mean but I'm quite relieved that Lily has no idea what that means either as it means you're going to have to explain it to her in simple words and then AI can follow along. :P

What you've got now is super fascinating, though! The whole thing about how the cubes can access other realities - why? How? Why weren't the Department of Magic using it? The way you drew the other realities was so amazing as well, the way that the first things Lily noticed were the small changes and not the major ones first - I loved that the first thing she noticed in her second trio was the smell of the flat. A small change, but super effective.

Um, I just want to ask, is Ludwig, the Half-Android Dolphin Trainer a real film? Because if it's not then it should be, it sounds awesome.

Heyy, good on Lily for getting an interview! Although I'd say that she has a pretty good right to be annoyed if those people did just reply to her application because she's Harry Potter's daughter. Being judged for something that essentially isn't you - that's happened to me before and it's never pleasant.

Naww, poor Lily (the first)! Not being able to wear the colours she wanted...I mean, I say poor Lily but I laughed at that section so the point of this is that 8'm not a very nice person, I don't think. :P

OH SNAP, Lily dropped the cube! NO THAT'S NOT GOOD. Is it? It's probably in some sort of other parallel universe and HOW WILL SHE GET HOME. I laughed pretty hard when you wrote 'I can always come back via cube if I don't end up in the right place' OH NO YOU CAN'T, Lily! That'll teach you to mess with Ministry substances.

Brilliant chapter, Kristin! I'm looking forward to more *hint hint* Haha, seriously though, I love this chapter and you are a fab author.

ps - YES FIRST REVIEW ehehehehe xD

Author's Response: EMILY ♥ HAIII

Ah, I'm so stoked that you found this chapter to be exciting rather than confusing! :p As you pointed out, the overlapping multiverses are a convoluted topic, and probably not easily understandable to the average person (hence Lily's reaction) ... actually while I was doing the research for that part and reading all these theoretical physics articles I was just like ASDKJFKLSJ MY BRAINNN. So yeah, I'm glad it made Lily relatable at least haha!

I'm glad the cube and the other realities are interesting, thanks! The technology behind the cube is kind of like a cross between magic and science, which was neat to figure out. And thanks, I'm so thrilled those details were effective and seemed realistic.

Ludwig - oh, if only! :D I think it should be a real film too, glad it'd have at least one fan XD I see it as being one of those low-budget movies that by all standards should be terrible, but is so terrible that you love it.

Well, she's not exactly sure by what means she got the interview, whether their decision process was respectable or not. But yeah, her annoyance is justified, I think.

Hehe, poor Lily (the first) indeed. I suppose there are far worse things than not being able to wear pink, but maybe it was her favourite colour or something. Unfortunate for her, but yes, kind of funny - it doesn't make you a mean person :p

Er, that's probably not good, no. Or she might have just dropped it on her foot. Time shall tell. Bwahaha. But yes, Lily has a few lessons to learn about messing with stolen Ministry items.

EEeee thank you!! I'm working on this story for NaNo so with any luck, there will be more chapters soon! Thanks as always for your fantastic review! ♥


 Report Review

Review #16, by GingeredTea Prologue

27th September 2014:
Alright, so I wasn't too sure coming into this if I would like it or
not, but I have ended up really enjoying myself! I love the voice
you have created for Lily, and the bit about Albus' plug collection
actually had me laughing (actually, quite a bit of this had me
laughing!). I also loved the humor you added about their name
and the clarification you had Lily slip in there - that made me
laugh as well!

Great first chapter! I think I'll be back for more! :)

Tory, from the review thread.

Author's Response: Hi! I'm sorry it's taken me ages to respond to this!

Hehe, I'm not too surprised by your initial doubt about this story - it is kind of out there! I'm glad you decided to read it anyway and that you enjoyed Lily's voice. That bit about the names was definitely some of my own opinions of the epilogue sneaking into the story in a really non-subtle way. :p Glad it made you laugh! Thanks so much for your review!! :)


 Report Review

Review #17, by Felpata Lupin Cultivated Arts

9th September 2014:
Hey, Kristin!
I'm really happy to see a new chapter! :-)
This was great!!! And amusing, made me laugh a lot!
I loved the starting scene with dinner at the Potters! The three siblings' interactions were just so funny!
I'm loving Marta and Iris more and more! I loved the silent conversation between Iris and Lily, the way they understand each other with a glance!
Oh... I didn't expect Lily to like girls... But I think it fits the character, and it's kind of cute the way she feels for Marta!
So now we know where the misterious cube came from, but we still don't know what it does and what's going to happen...
Another cliffhanger, I'm a bit mad at you, honestly!
No, I'm not. I think you're amazing! ;)
Great job, as usual!
Chiara

Author's Response: Hi! I'm so glad you enjoyed the new chapter and found it amusing. I've always imagined that the Potter family would be a lot of fun, so the three siblings interacting was really a pointless scene but it was too much fun to not include :p

I'm thrilled you continue to like Iris and Marta too! That's really wonderful to hear, especially as I know Marta has a lot of unlikeable qualities. As for Lily liking girls, yeah - I was hoping to write that bit without having it come across as dropping a bombshell or making it seem like a defining trait of her character - instead just something she adds as an afterthought, as it's part of who she is, she's comfortable with it, and that's that. :) Poor Lily though, yeah, her feelings for Marta aren't exactly convenient.

Some actual answers about the cube are coming in the next chapter. And... I've become a big fan of cliff hangers recently. Just so you know... :P

I think you're amazing too! Thanks for your awesome review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #18, by BookDinosaur Cultivated Arts

9th September 2014:
This was so weird. (It feels nice to start a review with that again!)

Wah, thank you Kristin for being such a wonderful author and leaving me all these chapters to read! :P

Baha, Lily and Al and James are all so grown up for their parents, tsk tsk. I love the family dynamic - the teasing and and the way they all try to stop the attention from being focused on them, haha! Also, I absolutely adored the Lockhart cameo, that was so in character for him and I laughed so hard at his condescending tone. Poor James, having that as his only positive review!

Ahaha, Lily and Iris can speak to one another with eyebrows! Now that's a testament to their friendship. :P

Oh Marta. Oh you silly Marta. How on earth did she think that nicking something from the Ministry of Magic would be a good idea? How how how. Someone tell me. She has as much common sense as a three year old...duck...which is molting feathers everytwhere. Gah, Marta.

Hah, Lily and Marta do have a slick act! I would've believed them if I'd met them, that's cool! And aw, now I don't know who to ship Lance and Marta or Lily and Marta because Lily balances Marta out so well and she already likes Marta but Marta doesn't really notice and gah their adventure will mean sister bonding time (I hope).

Ooh, and what on earth is happening with the cube?? What does the rune mean and where is the screen Marta was talking about? Where have the plates gone? WHY IS IT COMING TO LIFE??

Kristin, you know what this means, right? I'm going to be bugging you more. :P Update soon, I can't wait to see what happens next!

Author's Response: This was like the least weird chapter that will ever happen in this story. I don't think there were actually any weird things. So there. :p

Thanks for being such a wonderful author and friend! :)

Teehee, they've grown older but haven't grown up. I mean, at least they're past the age of sending toilet seats to one another. Ah yes, Lockhart! You know, I randomly missed writing his lovely POV and felt like I should write him again, so I just stuck him into this fic for a brief cameo for no purpose whatsoever. There's a lot of pointless scenes in this chapter actually - my forte. :P

Eyebrow speaking is totally a thing. My sister and I communicate with our eyes all the time!

You'd be a good influence on Marta. (Probably anyone would, since most people have more sense than she does.) But yeah, she's pretty selfish and doesn't really see how her actions affect others. If she'd actually thought about it, she probably wouldn't have seen it as a good idea - she just didn't think about it.

Funny thing is I could totally see Marta living in a tent and reading palms, even if she did make up that bit! Heheh, ah a mess of ships. One of those ships will probably not work out.

Your questions will (mostly) be answered in the next chapter! There are exciting things coming! :P

Yes, I do know what it means - it means now it's time for you to update Endure :P Thanks for an awesome review, Emily!! ♡


 Report Review

Review #19, by pointless_proclamations Prologue

5th September 2014:
'Ollo.

I'm here for that review swap. :D

You had my attention right from the beginning of the Captain's Log. I am wondering what it all means! You have me spouting all sorts of theories with that one. I will no doubt being doing that for the rest of the day.

I love the hilarious thoughts that follow. The way you described their names is absolutely worthy of an abdominal cavity-clutching laughter. :D

The perspective of the war from a canon next-gen character in that much depth is something I haven't seen around here before. You did that part so well, too. You explored that in ways I never even thought about. I am positively intrigued.

You've managed to reveal Lily's character throughout her internal monologue without making anything seem irrelevant.

The whole chapter is amazing. The very premise of the story is cause for much excitement.

Are you telling me that Lily is going back to the war? Or further? The Marauder's era? Even further than that? What is she going to do? She'll want to prevent the war and all that death I imagine, but how?! 'I often wonder what the world would be like if Voldemort had never existed.' I have a feeling that she'll get to find out. I just can't wait to know how this comes to be.

It is because of the copious amount of questions you have brought forth in my mind that I will continue reading this story. :) That and this being a science-fiction piece. I love science!

I have absolutely no complaints here. You are incredible!

Cheers! :D

Author's Response: Ah, excellent! I'm glad you are brainstorming loads of theories. There's very little of actual substance in the captain's log, so I imagine there could be a wide array of theories about what is happening! ;)

Haha.. I'm glad you enjoyed Lily's narration and found it amusing! The whole thing about the names, well, that was mostly just my personal distaste of the epilogue names not-so-subtlely finding its way into fic :p

Wow, thanks for your comment about Lily's perspective of the war! I am flattered to hear that it made you think and that it had a lot of depth.

Ah, I'm so stoked that you are excited about the story and that you're asking all these questions! That is what I hoped to do with this prologue and that's just so wonderful to hear. Yeah for science! :D

Cool, I hope you enjoy reading on, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts about the story! There's a new chapter coming shortly, as well.

Thanks so much for your amazing review!! ♥


 Report Review

Review #20, by Felpata Lupin Old and New

30th July 2014:
Hello!
I'm not very good at writing reviews, so let's just say... AMAZING!!!
I came across your story this morning and read it in one breath (I'm not really a fan of next generation, but your summary had me intrigued and I wasn't disappointed in the slightest!)
I love Lily and her friends! All your characters are so funny and natural, and your writing is so fluent and pleasant (which doesn't happen always...)
Now I'm really curious about what's going to happen... What is the misterious silver box? Please, update soon, cause I have to find out!
Hugs!
Chiara

Author's Response: Nonsense, you are AMAZING at writing reviews! ♥ Your review just put a huge smile on my face. This is my first attempt at next gen so that is really encouraging - I'm so thrilled that you like the characters! As for the next chapter... I have the whole thing planned out but I currently live on a sailboat and so it may be a bit of time before I can update :p But I will get it done as soon as I can! Thank you so, so much for this lovely review!

 Report Review

Review #21, by Infinityx Old and New

18th June 2014:
Hello! I'm here to review the Sci-Fi entries!

Like you mentioned in your A/N, there aren't any sci-fi elements just yet, but I really enjoyed the first two chapters. I love how you gave a little peek into what Lily's life is like and her character. Great going on attempting your first Next-Gen, by the way! I'm so happy that this fic got you to try something new! (I'm still really scared to write Next-Gen. I also like the voice you've given to Lily. It's really casual and easy to read.

What really got me curious was that little log at the beginning of the prologue. Who was she? And Lily got burned? What. :o It was a great idea to include that bit as it really made this even more exciting, for I knew that something major is going to happen.

I'm guessing that the cube is what will turn everything topsy-turvy. Great start to the story! Let me know when you update, as I'd love to read more!

~Erin

Author's Response: Hi Erin! Thank you! I was really hoping to have more chapters posted, but your challenge sparked this idea that I was hoping would be a short story, and then became a novella, and then a novel, and in order to set it up the actual sci fi stuff got delayed. Ah, such is life. Anyway, thanks, I was intimidated to write a next-gen at first but it works really well with the scifi genre, I think (I hope!) And I'm so happy you like Lily's voice in this, thanks!

I am glad you liked the log at the beginning. I wanted to kind of cast a shadow on all these silly, frivolous things that are currently happening in Lily's life by contrasting it with the future. We'll get to that point in the story eventually though ;)

I will definitely let you know about updates - if all goes according to plan there should be a new one next week or so. Fingers crossed (I'm a slow writer :P)

Thanks for your review and for the awesome challenge!


 Report Review

Review #22, by patronus_charm Old and New

16th June 2014:
Hi Kristin!

I really liked the opening section as we got to learn more about Lily’s life which was really interesting. I really liked how she wasn’t this perfect girl where life just works for her because that so often happens with the next gen children because of her parents and she was actually kind of normal which makes it a lot more enjoyable to read. Also, when all the scifi action happens it will be much more interesting too as we will be able to relate to her much more.

Lily’s friends are really cool! I love Martha because, again, she was relatable because if I was best friends with a famous person’s daughter I would probably turn into some sort of fame hungry person too so don’t worry, I’m with you there Martha! I can just see how all three of them are so close though as Lily could guess right away that something was up with Iris and it was just nice to see such a lovely friendship.

Haha, the telling the future stuff made me laugh a lot though I sometimes wish that stuff actually worked as it would be so cool :D

‘He has an internship in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic where I'm fairly certain he talks to ghosts.’ Ok this is so cool as this is my favourite Ministry department so I hope we get to see a lot more of Lance so I get to know more about it, and he seems cool too!

Ooh a mysterious ending! I wonder what that sound is? Hmm, is it too soon to guess about it being to do with the log at the beginning of the last chapter. Maybe it’s some sort of magical bomb designed to blow up all the Potters because of what they did to Voldy? So many questions I can’t wait to find out the answers!

-Kiana

Author's Response: I'm going to pretend it didn't take me a month to reply to this. Sorry.. :p

Ah, I'm so glad that Lily comes across as normal! Despite her fame and her aversion to fame, she does have the same struggles any young twentysomething has.

I am really happy to hear that you like her friends as well! Marta is certainly something, yeah. I'm glad that her desire for fame makes her understandable rather than just dislikeable, haha.

I love the Department of Mysteries too, I think it would be the coolest! So much to explore :)

Yes haha, this is me trying my hand at some sort of mysterious plot which I think may be difficult because I'm the worst at not divulging all plot points instantly. I love your theories! Answers are coming within the next two chapters ;)

Thank you so much for your review ♥


 Report Review

Review #23, by patronus_charm Prologue

8th June 2014:
Hi Kristin!

Ooh, I love Lily! She just made me laugh throughout and she has these wonderful sarcastic thoughts and yeah she’s so cool! I found it really interesting how much Lily hated the unoriginality of her name and the family names in general and I wonder if that will play a part in her actions. I imagine it will make her want to do something and stand out perhaps and I just can’t wait to see where it leads her.

There was just so many great jokes attached to their names but I have to highlight this one ‘Poor Albus Severus Potter, whose middle name comes from a man who hated Dad and apparently was in love with my namesake Lily. And of course my other brother, James, is named after our grandfather – the one who was married to Lily. Gross. I try not to think about my name too much.’ As it was just so great and I didn’t realise how creepy it all was until now :P

Ooh the Captain’s Log sounds intriguing! Ah, what did she try and change? I’m guessing this from the future so yay she got her dreams sort of fulfilled as she now has something to do but I’m really worried now. Did you not listen to your Aunt Hermione about never changing things in the past, Lily? *tuts disapprovingly* it does sound so cool though and I can’t wait to see where this leads :D

I thought this was an excellent attempt at next gen and I’m so glad that you did it as it does sound so interesting and different to all the other next gens out there and we need more of these ones so whoo! I can’t wait to read on :D

-Kiana

Author's Response: Kiana! Aaa thanks for this wonderful review! I'm so glad you like Lily! Her narrative voice is so much fun to write. :)

Lol, I'm glad you appreciated that part. Lily's mini-rant there is essentially just my ill-disguised distaste for parts of the epilogue. I couldn't help it! :P but yes it is a little creepy isn't it?

Yep she did change something she shouldn't have. Heh heh... :p Her Aunt Hermione would be disappointed indeed.

Haha thanks, that is so good to hear as I'd been pretty terrified of writing next gen for a while, since there's all these characters I could never remember and it seemed intimidating :p So it is wonderful to hear that this is interesting and different yay! :D Thanks so much for your review ♥


 Report Review

Review #24, by BookDinosaur Old and New

6th June 2014:
This was so weird. (No it wasn't - but I'm going to make that officially a thing now, so prepare for all my reviews on this story opening with that line.) :P

Seriously though, this was lovely. I really enjoyed seeing the relationships and the development of character we got in this chapter. The group of three girls seem to complement each other nicely, with Iris as the mother figure to the wilder Marta and Lily. I really liked the dynamic they all had between them; it seemed really natural and sweet. :) I loved some of the backstory that we got on Marta and Lily as well, their friendship seems kind of unconventional but at the same time you made it obvious that they cared for one another, which was really nice.

Ahahaha Marta and her crush on Harry Potter was so funny, it probably shouldn't be but oh goodness I can definitely see some girls in the Wizarding World swooning over him. :P And Lily's 'lalala I can't hear you' reaction was so realistic as well, that made me laugh out loud.

I really enjoyed some of the shenanigans the girls got up to; searching around in huge bins for bowls and how they found their old games while they're meant to be wedding planning. I loved that game you had between them, it seems like something teenage girls would do and then store away just for kicks and giggles, I know some of my friends and I did that some years ago, but in verbal rather than written form. :P

Lance and Marta seem really nice as well, is it bad that I already kind of ship them? Her way of trying to creep him out was so funny, hehe.

I'm really glad we got to see more of Lily as well, her unemployment troubles were great to read about and how she liked her lifestyle was funny as well, because most of the unemployed MCs I see are searching quite hard for a job. Also, her procrastination was something I could definitely get behind; in two days, half a job application is good enough for her.

I loved what Lance pointed out as well; she's naturally going to have more influence over people because she's famous, and it seemed so natural that she was against that idea but she should utilise it actually, it's a great point and she could really do some good things with that.

Ooh and that little silver box at the end was mysterious! Is that the first of the sci-fi elements you're going to incorporate? WILL IT LEAD TO A MAGICAL SPACESHIP?! Whee so exciting, I love the idea of a robotic Pygmy Puff although I hope the little box thing is slightly more exciting than that. :P

Anyway Kristin, you've probably had enough of my crazy ramblings now so I'll just wrap up with this was a great chapter and I'm really looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Hahaha right. :D I can handle that.

I'm glad you like the friendships and character development here, thanks! Iris is definitely the mother figure to both of them, although I wouldn't necessarily say Lily is wild, just irresponsible, and can easily be pressured into Marta's schemes. More about them coming up :) And yes you're right, it's a pretty weird friendship!

haha I'm glad you appreciated Marta's crush on Harry. I think Lily is probably used to stuff like that, but coming from one of her best friends it's too much!

Hooray for dumpster diving! Marta is really into collecting useless stuff and recycling. And that game... definitely one I played when I was 15 or so, and it is so fun to find that stuff later and laugh at it and play it again just for fun. So yeah this section is slightly inspired by real life :p

Hehe, Lance and Marta, quite the interesting pair. I love writing them. I don't think it's bad that you ship them already! Though Lance might disagree.

Lily is a bit of a hypocrite, I think, in terms of her unemployment. She wants a job on her own merit, but she's perfectly fine being slow about getting a job because her Dad is rich and wouldn't let his daughter be broke... *eyeroll* But yes half a job application is something! Lance does have a point though, yeah.

Ehehehe the silver box... it definitely leads to *something*... probably not a robotic Pygmy Puff. And that's all I'll say on that matter.

I love your crazy ramblings! Honestly this fic is just a crazy ramble so we're even. Thanks so much for your review!!! ♡ ♡


 Report Review

Review #25, by bellatrixlestrange123 Prologue

5th June 2014:
Hi there! I'm here with your requested review!

In your areas of concern, you were worried about whether or not the story was generally interesting and honestly, I don't think that you should be! I think that this story and the plot is very out there and I'm very interested to what becomes of these characters and how Lily becomes involved with it all. I am particularly interested to know how Lily goes from her everyday job to some really cool Si-Fi adventures :p

I think that it takes a very brave writer to write something that sometimes is a bit out of their comfort zone (Obviously I'm not too sure if writing Si-fi is something that you are or aren't familiar with) but this is a bit unorthodox from most fics. And for that I hand you an award! It's a breath of fresh air to read stories that are a little bit unconventional - it adds to the engrossment factor for the reader!

I really liked how you began the chapter. The 'captain's log' was a really nice touch to add some ominous vibes into the atmosphere, it was great! I also think that you did a very very good job in giving us a lot of detail about Lily's character and her attitude to her family and the fact that she doesn't work and has house mates. All of this is, in my opinion, very important to be included in the first few chapters if not the very first; any questions that the reader may have are answered this way. You did exactly this so well done!

You've also done a very good job of making the tone very light hearted and humorous so it's refreshing to read and doesn't sort of weigh you down as a reader - which is always a bonus!

*hides* don't hate me but - the only thing I will say is that it became slightly repepative after a few paragraphs, I think that the topic of family dominated this chapter a little bit. This is more just an observation than a CC because making family the main theme might have been your intention all along! (which is fine). But if it was something that was accidental, then I think if you just added more about Lily and used it to strengthen her character a little bit more, it would be really good.

All in all, I found no punctuation.grammar errors. There were just a few typos such as '(This was one of the reasons James (meaning my brother – see why this is confusing?)' but none that jarred the story up in anyway!!

I hope that this was helpful and I think that your first next-gen fic is great and has amazing potential as it grows! All the best!

Bella :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks for reviewing! Awesome, I'm glad that it seems interesting so far despite being kind of a strange story.

Wow, thank you! I love sci-fi books and movies/tv, but this is my first serious attempt at writing my own scifi plot. So that is really wonderful to hear!

I'm glad you appreciated the captain's log. I think that since otherwise the beginning is like a standard next gen fic, I wanted to add just a touch of mystery and ominousness so the lighthearted rest of the chapter is kind of seen through a lens, I guess. I wanted to create a strange contrast there haha. Thanks, I'm glad you like the amount of info about Lily here. I honestly thought I'd kind of done a bit of an info dump so I'm glad to hear this is not the case!

That is a good observation, and actually yes, her family does become rather important later on... but if it seemed too repetitive, I'll have a look and see if I can edit some of that out.

Ooh, I hadn't realised that was a typo, so thanks! I guess parentheses inside parentheses (Parentheception?) is a bit too much, haha

You were very helpful, thanks! I really appreciate your review!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>