Reading Reviews for Cold Blood
111 Reviews Found

Review #1, by The Happy Snail It begins with pink

22nd May 2015:
Hi! It's me again, following up on your recommendation. ;) I love a good mystery, so I couldn't resist!

First, I LOVE second person. For so many reasons. For its immediacy, for its lyricism, for its invitation to the reader to be a part of the story. To use second person for the murderer's perspective was especially chilling. Because now, in a sense, I am the murderer. I am part of the crime. This is a good technique to draw in readers and to explore the mind of a murderer, which has to be different than other narration because murderer's are different than normal, everyday people. Brilliant choice. It was incredibly successful.

Also, I loved Ginny's reaction to hearing about Umbridge's death. It made me chuckle. She's trying to be sad about it, because it was a murder after all, but she can't find it in herself to be too sad. It felt so genuine to me. And Harry--what a sweet husband he is!

The only bit of this chapter that felt a bit inauthentic to me was when they found the black hair. How thick is this piece of hair that Ron could immediately point it out? Did he use some sort of spell to find it? Or are his eyes just really, really good? Just some questions I had at that point.

More things I liked before I move on to the next chapter: The image of the clumps of Umbridge's hair with two bloody fingernails. Chilling. It was just graphic enough to suggest the brutality of the murder without going too far. I like the small detail of Mrs. Selwyn, too, that she made them tea and chatted their ears off for hours. That was another place that made me laugh. I love that you include details like that. They really bring this story to life, and it reminds me a bit of JKR's style. She includes a lot of little details that bring characters to life without having to delve into too much backstory. I admire that quality.

I plan to read a few chapters tomorrow, so you'll hear from me again soon!

Your friend,
The Happy Snail

 Report Review

Review #2, by ohmymerlin It begins with pink

4th May 2015:
Hey, Erin! I'm here from my review thread!

First of all: omg

This is so suspenseful omg omg omg


The way you wrote from the killer's perspective starting out made me get goosebumps! You wrote it so fantastically and I was honestly a bit scared D:

This person must have absolutely hated Umbridge to perform all three curses on her! I hated Umbridge but being tortured to the brink of insanity before killing her seems way too far! I can't believe that!

And I think you've written Harry, Ron, and Ginny really well! I'm curious to see Hermione as well and see how she interacts with them all! :D

Long black hair though... The only people I'm thinking that have black hair are the Patil twins, Dean (if he grew his hair but I always pictured him to have curly hair), Blaise, Pansy, and probably a whole lot more but I can't seem to remember it.

But I also feel like it wouldn't be any Slytherins because they (mostly) liked Umbridge because she gave them so many special provisions (grr)

The story definitely wasn't boring and was one hundred per cent intriguing! I'm so curious to read on (it's very difficult for me to hold back pressing next chapter because I've got such a busy day ahead of me and can't afford to be distracted!) and find out who's behind all these killings!

I like how you made Ron spot the hair. I see so many fics where people write Ron as useless (*wipes tear away*) so it's so nice to see that you haven't written him like that :')

It made me laugh that when Robards asked if anyone liked her and none of them responded. Serves her right ;) But that does make a list of suspects extremely large, haha!

What I found interesting is that you said that since Voldemort died, a lot of people took a lot less precautions with just an Alohomora charm being used to open doors. I feel like the precautions would have definitely decreased but I also feel like a lot of people would still be really protective. Just think of the thousands of people in WWI and WWII that were still really cautious about everything. Definitely young people and young families may have not been as cautious because they didn't live through it, but I think the people that did live through it would be still be highly protective over their houses and families. Think of Mad-Eye! He had heaps of protective measures even when they first believed Voldemort went away.

Anyway, this was a really good opening chapter! I think you absolutely nailed it! I really loved reading it! And omg your description is just amazing holy moly I love it

Seriously, this makes you sit on the edge of your seat! Just wow! It's so well written ♥

Feel free to request again!

10/10 of course!

- Kayla :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by aurevoir Code Red

2nd May 2015:
So I'm going to guess it is some sort of split personality thing and that Harry was also a little cooky for coco puffs or something? Ack. I have more questions than answers. I'm now crazy excited for warm hearts to come out - I shall be stalking for it! I also read all of this in like an hour and I'm really proud of myself for that.

Can't wait to see what happens!!!


 Report Review

Review #4, by aurevoir Round Two

2nd May 2015:
I know realize you recently finished the story so my WIP comment is irrelevant and I AM EVEN MORE EXCITED. It wasn't finished last time I looked at it.

Because I know there are two more chapters, this is simply too neat. It's like when there's 13 minutes left in Law and Order - you know it isn't the end just yet. MOVING ON!

 Report Review

Review #5, by aurevoir Revealed

2nd May 2015:
Curly hair could be so many people though. I think they're wrong. Or something. ACHALSDKJF.

Who needs finals ;) I need to know what's happening here and I am almost caught up. The comments almost make me think Harry is multiple personalities again though. In case you wanted to know [becuase I'm sure that's riveting].

 Report Review

Review #6, by aurevoir Spotted

2nd May 2015:

I am past the time I said I was going to bed, but I must read at least ONE more chapter to determine if I am right. I really do love mysteries [and hate]

 Report Review

Review #7, by aurevoir Broken Pieces

2nd May 2015:


He's torturing/killing everybody who somehow caused Potter harm. Lovegood refusing entry/calling the death eaters. Mentioning Harry almost losing an arm. Dolores is obvious. And then the over protectiveness for the child.

My tired brain tells me Harry is falling asleep and has an alter ego, but I HIGHLY doubt that so I'm just going to move on and accept that Harry is the connection.

 Report Review

Review #8, by aurevoir Chocolate and Bubbles

2nd May 2015:

So now I'm triply hooked and I may skip a few chapters and come back to review later because I really just want to know what happens, even though there isn't going to be resolution anytime soon because it's still a WIP. I'm giving myself 9 more minutes to read. ONWARD.

 Report Review

Review #9, by aurevoir Light up the Dark

2nd May 2015:
I know that I probably won't know who the you/canon character is anytime soon, but I now have a childish urge to stay up all night and read books.

I really love the story - the description for Luna is just so spot on. I can see her being all chipper, even when this is happening. I even imagine it in Evanna Lynch's voice the whole time [I really loved her job with Luna in the movies].

Curious to see if something will happen to Robards now that 'you' has been mentioned watching him. Moving on!

♥ Cassie

 Report Review

Review #10, by aurevoir It begins with pink

1st May 2015:
AH. Ok. I'm glad that I finally just gave into the desire to read this because this is WAY more exciting than learning about Publicly Held Corporations and the law. I mean, who needs to know how a merger operates. Who needs skillls.

Ok I do. But. I decided to take a brief break and read this chapter. And I am SO glad I did. I'm really interested to see where this goes [and I hope Hermione makes an entrance soon, because I do love her too =) ]

My only critic type comment isn't even a big deal, but just so you know, judges usually do unsub lower case and without a hyphen ;) but to each their own =D . I spell gray grey because I like to pretend I'm not American sometimes. Getting to read Chapter 2 is going to be my motivation to get through some studying!

♥ Cassie

 Report Review

Review #11, by EmmaGM Code Red

24th April 2015:
That's just... Are you Satan?

Author's Response: Hahah. Is it weird that I consider that a compliment?
It's not over yet. ;) Keep an eye out for the sequel!
Thanks for reviewing. :)

 Report Review

Review #12, by StarFeather Code Red

21st April 2015:
Oh, you finally made the story coincide with the banner! Ohoo, mystery has just begun from the end of the story! I love it!

I've been searching real Auror, Harry Potter stories for four years. I had no idea to start writing after random reading. Now I know I had just wanted real suspense, action and fight in the cause of justice.

So you'll be ready for the next story, won't you? I'm wating for the sequel!

:) Kenny

 Report Review

Review #13, by MargaretLane Code Red

21st April 2015:
Yikes, I wonder what has happened to Harry. This IS mysterious. I really hadn't expected it to end with something like that.

I like the way Harry is more concerned about Harry than Hermione, because he knows Hermione'll take care of herself, but firstly, Harry might not - barreling into danger is sort of his thing - and secondly, they don't know if he's in a position to do so. If he has been murdered (which I doubt) or kidnapped or injured, which is more likely, he might not be able to do much about it.

Hmm, I wonder if the character speaking in the "you" part is Marietta or somebody else. Perhaps there is somebody else in this conspiracy, something going on.

The reference to Dumbledore makes it seem like it's somebody older, somebody who had a part in the war.

*grins* I was WONDERING if Hermione was pregnant when she mentioned feeling queasy.

That is a really intriguing ending. Looking forward to the sequel.

Thanks for the mention in the end note.

 Report Review

Review #14, by MargaretLane Clearing Up

21st April 2015:
Apologies for the delay in getting to this. I can't remember why I didn't read it when it first went up - was probably busy with one thing or another and then it kind of got lost among my "must read" list. Anyway, I'm getting to it now.

Oh, gosh, EMBARRASSING, Ron showing up at that moment.

Hmm, I wonder is there any more to that push. You've drawn a lot of attention to it which makes me wonder if it's as minor an issue as it seems. I mean, of course, it was serious enough at the time, but I've a feeling something more might come of it.

And that part about Harry's mind becoming blank and him punching the wall is a little ominous. I understand that he wants to protect his wife, but it IS over the top.

Love the linking of a divorce scandal with a pureblood going against tradition by dating a Muggleborn scandal. It makes sense the wizarding world would find the combination scandalous, especially as, while the wizarding world seems liberal in some ways, things like divorce and unmarried pregnancy seem uncommon, indicating they may be frowned upon.

Harry seems like he's heading for some kind of breakdown. I'm surprised Ron is more worried about him than Hermione. She's normally more perspective than he is.

I wonder what Hermione feels isn't right - whether it's something to do with Harry, something to do with the case or both. There could be a connection, though I can't see what.

 Report Review

Review #15, by Shadowkat It begins with pink

21st April 2015:
First thing's first...the toad deserved it.

Second, this is really good, I might have to come back later. Keep up the good job, the second person perspective at the beginning was a very nice touch. :)

 Report Review

Review #16, by Lostmyheart Revealed

12th April 2015:
Hi Erin!

It's been such a long time since I've read this story and I apologize for that :(
I loved this chapter! So exciting, and what a surprise with Aberforth. He seemed so nice, then suddenly he was vague and didn't make any sense. At least to me. Again, this sort of supports my theory on Harry having two personalities, I think. Or maybe not. Because that short section, they mentioned they didn't want Potter to know, but... ARGH. I just want to know SO much, Erin! This is a real puzzle, I tell ya.

I am on to the next chapter, perhaps that'll shed some light on some of my theories.
Brilliant writing, as usual!

- Avi

 Report Review

Review #17, by Aphoride A Mistake

6th March 2015:
Hey there, Erin! Stopping by from BvB, since you said someone who was already reading it should drop by ;) I know I'm not as far on as you'd probably like (which I totally understand!) but hopefully I can catch up soon! :)

So, I love this story and I really shouldn't stay away so long - though the one of advantage this story has is that I always remember it so well! I'm so excited to see where this goes on from here... there are so many hints in this chapter, but nothing really solid and concrete - which is just how a good mystery should be ;)

I love how you keep slipping in the little glimpses of the murderer and their mind. They're always so fascinating and so creepy - we're not sure exactly what drives them, completely, and that just makes them almost unstable, you know? Makes it all the more likely they're going to do something worse (if that's even possible, haha). Also, it can be difficult at times to use two different pov styles, and you do it so well in this too :)

As before, I love the way you write both Harry and Ron - they're such great characters in this, and you do them both so well (which is amazing, tbh, because they're such major character) - as well as Pamela and all of the others. It's the little things which stick out - how Ron seems to be slightly afraid of Hermione haha, the way they both still find the hex on Marietta so funny even years later, how they're both embarassed when caught hugging :P (Plus, it was such a funny image! :D)

I feel so sorry for the Aurors too, with nothing to go on in the case and no real leads... so frustrating! :( Still, it's nice to see it's not always easy as pie for them ;)

The article at the beginning was brilliant - I loved that you included it, as it really gave a third dimension to this story - the population entire and how they're reacting to the murders and what's going on. Article writing is really hard, so you did so well with it, and I love how Robards, like the others, is so tired by trying to find something for the case. Poor guy :( At least he wasn't interviewed by Skeeter! :P No, seriously, it was a great article and I loved that you included it! :)

As always your writing is so good in this - the little details realy make this come alive, with the mention of the grass being flattened where the boulder was, Harry's hand trembling, all that kind of stuff... it's really so so good! :)

And thank you so much for the shoutout! Totally undeserved, but thank you anyway - I'm just so glad you enjoy things I write, it means so much! *hug* :)

Aph xx

 Report Review

Review #18, by StarFeather Round Two

27th February 2015:
Oh, I didn't expect the end like this! I've thought kind of Voldemort or Dark wizard possessed Harry's mind and let him murder some of victims while he was in a state of blackout.

 Report Review

Review #19, by StarFeather Light up the Dark

26th February 2015:
Hi, I dropped to do our review swap from forums finally. :)

I've been curious about this story looking at the impressive banner, but I imagined frightful murder scenes so had avoided reading this. Then I've just read two chapters, felt it was just amazing! I thought there would be lots of cruel scenes before reading your story but you described about Harry's family in a way full of love, pictured emotional movement of each character as well, I really like that.

Flow of this mystery is very good, which invites readers to keep reading next chapter.

 Report Review

Review #20, by TreacleTart Clearing Up

23rd February 2015:
Hi InfinityX,

I'm here for our review swap!

I think one of the best qualities of this chapter is the way you write the dynamic between each couple. I found their interactions to be very authentic to a normal married couple. I especially appreciated details like Ron still blushing when he compliments Hermione.

I sure hope that Harry is able to calm down a bit. It seemed like he was on the verge of confronting confronting Alex Droger. Hopefully, he doesn't start a fight.

The only critique that I have is something you've noted in your author's notes at the end of the chapter. I did find this to read fast, partially because it was enjoyable, partially because it was a lot of dialogue. I think adding in more descriptive details would help slow it down.

Overall, a very good read! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.



 Report Review

Review #21, by BellaLestrange87 Light up the Dark

23rd February 2015:
Hello! I'm here for our review swap!

Man, it's been so long since I read this - I think I did the first chapter for September's BvB? - and yet I was able to pick this up right where I left off. I'm never able to do that with something I put down for that long.

I love your characterization of Harry here. He's one of the hardest characters to write EVER and yet you've written him perfectly. When he goes to leave, his first thought is to get something for his beloved wife, and then when he finds out Xenophilius has died he immediately feels sad for Luna, who is now orphaned, just like him.

And now the evidence is missing! I feel like this isn't going to be the easiest road to finding the killer - and, since I've seen your forum about me, and the quote about you killing off everyone, I feel like it's going to be a road with a high body count. Please don't kill off anybody really important.

I feel like we're getting to know the killer a bit better. I think that they're trying to act as a philanthropist, in a very twisted sense? They talk about how they want to take care of the world's mishaps... but by killing people? You've aroused my curiosity and I definitely want to keep reading.

At least Luna isn't alone, and has Rolf and Lorcan to help her. I can't wait to meet Rolf (if we do?) and see what he's like. I love how you ended on a light note, talking about Ginny's pregnancy - James?

I really don't know why I didn't reading this, but as soon as I can get time - which is not now, it's 1 AM - I'll come back and R&R.


 Report Review

Review #22, by 800 words of heaven It begins with pink

5th February 2015:

Ooh! A murder mystery! I love a good murder mystery. And Umbridge as the first victim! I think I'm supposed to feel bad for a victim of a violent crime but it's really hard when she was the perpetrator of so many violent crimes herself. Harry and Ginny are right - it's hard to know what to feel in this circumstance. Very confused is all I can say with certainty.

And Harry and Ron are on the case! Look at them being all professional and experienced at detective work! I kept on flashing back to these two running around Hogwarts in Chamber of Secrets whilst they tried to figure out how Hermione was petrified and they basically just very bravely flailed their arms around futilely. But they're all grown up now! I'm looking forward to reading more of them as senior Aurors.

As to the murderer... because that scene is written in second person, the murderer must be a member of canon. But who...? Right now, my wild guess is going to be Cornelius Fudge. I always thought he was a bit of a loon and the way Umbridge reacted... Also, how come Harry's dark magic detection spell couldn't detect the use of the Cruciatus Curse? Or was he just checking at the entrances of the house for such things?

Great start :)

 Report Review

Review #23, by True Author It begins with pink

30th January 2015:
A murder mystery! I wouldn't have looked at any of your other stories even if you hadn't told me you wanted this one to be reviewed anyways. I absolutely love mysteries! Writing them can get a little boring because of the intricate planning required, but reading them is simply fun!

Anyways, this chapter was pretty intriguing. Especially because the victim is Umbridge. I mean, usually in murder mysteries the victim is so good that no one would want to kill them. But here, it's Umbridge and who wouldn't want to kill her? Even I'm kind of glad she's killed ;) Haha, so that's what I liked about it. There are so many that you can blame. That will surely help with keeping the readers hooked.

Wow, you really know how to write in second person PoV. I'm trying it for a one shot and it gets very difficult sometimes. I hope I'll be able to do it right!

Hmm. Lone black hair? Interesting! I'm thinking about all the dark haired characters from the series. I want to know who did that! The person who did it seems very cool with killing people off. I can't help but think the murderer seemed a lot like Bellatrix to me. Playing with people before killing them off. I wonder if that's possible. Probably not! :P But that's the only one I can think of right now.

I would definitely love to read a little bit more about Harry and Ginny's married life. Is it possible for you to extend the scene in this chapter a little bit? I think it will be a nice relief from the scariness of the first scene and it will be rather cute to read. :)

Overall, I did find it interesting. I'd love to come back for more! Thanks for swapping!


 Report Review

Review #24, by Veritaserum27 Answers

28th January 2015:
Hi Erin!

Here for our review swap - and I'm so, so, so sorry that I took this long to get to it. :( I hope that this review makes up for it - a little bit.

Aww, I love how you write Harry and Ginny. Gah - they are so sweet together and romantic to. And Harry with little James. I have the feels! The Harry and Ginny and James feels! I think you've done a marvelous job capturing how much family means to Harry, here. Because he grew up without one, his own family with Ginny (and the other Weasleys) is EVERYTHING to him.

Now I'm curious - are you setting up all of this family sweetness so that the killer can threaten them? No - ERIN NO!!! I NEED MY HARRY AND GINNY TO BE OKAY!!!

Okay, I'm going to calm down now, because there's no use worrying about something that hasn't happened, right? I don't have any reason to worry about little James and Ginny - DO I ERIN?!

But I am a little more worried now because the killer has a plan - what is the plan? Yikes, this plan could go very bad for Harry.

Hmmm... I wonder why Pamela though she'd met Emerson before. There might be something to that.

Wow. I was not expecting that confession from Emerson. He really, really had a reason to kill Umbridge. And the things she was making him do to the House Elves - ugh. That woman was utterly despicable. It sounds just like her to make him cover up her dirty tracks so that she looks squeaky clean. Also, using his Muggle sister against him is plain awful.

And the dichotomy between the Harry at his house and the Harry in the interrogation room was done really well. As much has Harry loves and cherishes his family, he has an equal amount of passion and distaste for the Dark Arts. He was fed up with Emerson and his half-truths. An angered Harry is a dangerous one and you showed us that in this chapter.

As awful as Emerson is, I don't think he is the killer. He might know a bit more than he is saying right now, but I don't think he murdered anyone.

Great job Erin, as usual, you've left me with more questions, but overall, this chapter had everything - an adorable scene at the beginning, a cryptic message from the killer, and a lot of action in the interrogation room.

Great job - I can't wait to read the rest!

♥ Beth

 Report Review

Review #25, by adluvshp Round Two

27th January 2015:
Hey again! Wow, what a dramatic reveal! Marietta was the killer then and she used Emerson and she did it all for Harry! Wow, who would have thought!

I really, really enjoyed reading this. I think you set up the mystery in the most brilliant way possible and revealed the killer really nicely. The whole procedures with the Aurors and all were also written well with careful details and I liked that. Your characterisations of Ron and Harry were of course brilliant.

All in all, I think this was a great story and it almost seems like the end since the mystery is solved and everything is okay. So, I'm quite curious to see what the next couple chapters hold.

I don't have any CC for you really - I think this is one of the most well-written and well-conceptualised stories I've come across on the archives. I wish my writing were as awesome as yours!

Great work!!

P.S. Update soon!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>