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Reading Reviews for Cold Blood
121 Reviews Found

Review #1, by cherry_pop94 It begins with pink

25th March 2016:
Hello! I'm here for Bvb!

This is such an intriguing story so far! I'm really interested to know what's going on! Who's killed Umbridge??

Wow. All the stories I've read so far for the Diadems are just great. It's as if you all wrote my perfect story. I LOVE murder mysteries. I just love them. And you've done a really excellent job setting it up.

I also really like how you've picked a victim that no one really likes. Harry doesn't like her, Ron doesn't like her, we readers don't like her. It's an interesting choice that I'm sure will come up later on!

I'm so excited to read more of this and will definitely be back soon to keep going!


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Review #2, by Veritaserum27 Code Red

21st November 2015:
Hi there!

I'm here for the final chapter. What?! How could you do this to me? There's too much in this chapter - and it's only a bit over 1,000 words. I don't even know what to say. Harry's missing and Hermione's pregnant. Ron called a Code Red. I still need to know what happens to Ginny - does she have the baby soon? I don't know how you can do this to me *crawls into the corner a crying mess* You have to write the sequel. I NEED IT. I have so many questions. If Ron the Auror is scared at the scene before him, I'm absolutely terrified. And she ESCAPED! How did that happen? Please, please post the sequel soon. Great story - keep up the good work.

♥ Beth

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Review #3, by Veritaserum27 Clearing Up

21st November 2015:
Hi there!

I've been meeting to review this for a while now - and I see that I only have 2 chapters left - eeep! Aaannd... this is my 700th review! Gah! The scene between Harry and Ginny was so beautiful and so passionate, but in the back of my mind, I was thinking about the fact that Harry had gotten out three glasses and I was kinda scratching my head about until Ron and Hermione showed up - haha! I really like that you haven't made Ron the ultra-protecitve older brother cliche that he is in many fics. I can tell that he respects Harry's and Ginny's relationship. Then we get to see Ron and Hermione's relationship as well - so adorable. It looks like most things are wrapped up. I wonder what the next chapter will bring? Moving right along...

♥ Beth

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Review #4, by CambAngst Light up the Dark

8th July 2015:
I... hmmnnn... You seem to really want me to suspect Hermione here. Hermione has as much reason to dislike Umbridge as anyone, which is to say lots. Although she's never been the type to hold a grudge, Hermione has as much reason as Ron or Harry to have ill will toward Xeno Lovegood. He tried to sell the three of them out to the Death Eaters, after all. Hermione also works inside the Ministry. But Xeno Lovegood is such an odd fit. It's hard to see it. So either it's someone I'm not thinking of, or it's possible that Xeno had reason to suspect the actual killer. Some piece of information. I'm very curious to see what's in those letters, and I'm honestly a bit surprised that Harry and Ron would allow Luna to simply owl them instead of going directly to Xeno's house to retrieve them.

If there's one thing I'd critique you on so far, actually, it's that the investigation feels loosely run. Ron and Harry's visit felt mostly like a social call with a couple of work questions thrown in. I know that they're friends with Luna and they wouldn't want to upset her. That's why it's also odd that Robards would send them to conduct the interview. It's hard to imagine they could be objective.

I have to admit that I had a hard time following Robards's character in this chapter. At the beginning, he's being so gruff and angry and commanding. He seems angry that Harry wasn't at the Ministry already when Harry was eating breakfast at home. But as soon as the meeting starts, all that changes. It's like he's still angry, but we have no idea what he's angry about. Then he turns sympathetic when it comes up that Ron and Harry are friends with Luna. I'm trying to figure out what makes the character tick and in that way he was confusing in this chapter.

I really like the second person voice you're giving to your killer. He or she is plainly a smart, shadowy operator. A planner by nature. Another reason to suspect Hermione, actually.

Let's see, what else? I love Luna's house. It sounded like the perfect setting for her. Harry is also a very good husband. He's figured out the tricks of the trade. ;)

Second chapters are really hard, so please don't take my critiques as suggesting that I didn't enjoy the chapter. I definitely did and I'm looking forward to more!

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Review #5, by CambAngst It begins with pink

8th July 2015:
Hi, Erin!

I've heard so much about this story. I wanted to give it a go.

I liked your choice of second person for the killer. Presumed killer, anyway. I suppose we don't know anything for certain at this point. At any rate, you can definitely feel the animosity and cruelty the killer feels toward Umbridge. It's not overly difficult to relate to, mind you. I always thought Umbridge was a less likeable character than... well, than any of the other characters. Is it bad that I sort of enjoyed her ignominious end and I wish that scene had gone on longer? :(

You know, I agree with Harry. Something was bugging me, too. And I actually know what it is. How did Robards know that Umbridge's mind was "in tatters" if she was already dead when she was discovered? I'm going to file that bit away for future reference...

I love the way you've built up Umbridge's cat lady pad. It sounds like a place that would give me a headache in less than 30 seconds. Like the love child of Madam Puddifoot's tea shop and, well... Dolores Umbridge's office from Deathly Hallows.

Ron has some sharp eyes. That's pretty impressive that he could pick out a single, black hair amid the chaos of a torture/murder scene. I wonder whether I'm meant to see him as a possible suspect, too? Anyhow, black hair... Cho Chang? Harry Potter? Pansy Parkinson?

I saw one little typo as I was reading:

She puffed out her chest and her eyes seemed to be trying to burn a whole through you, with the intensity of their gaze and indignation. -- burn a hole


She turned out to be a gracefully ageing woman of forty three, and a big bundle of nerves when the two Aurors turned up at her doorstep. -- is "ageing" a British spelling that I'm just unfamiliar with? It looked odd to me.

This was a very intriguing and mysterious first chapter. Your writing was really easy to follow and everything flowed nicely. I feel like I have the basics of the story, but you didn't waste a lot of time dumping back story on me, which I appreciate. Good job!

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Review #6, by Veritaserum27 Round Two

3rd July 2015:
Hi Erin!

Happy Birthday! I'm here from the birthday reviews thread - (and from the Erin is Awesome fan club).

Gah! I'm so happy I got to this chapter on your birthday - it was so good! I really liked the two different timelines that went on in this chapter - it definitely upped the suspense of the story. I found myself reading faster and faster and trying to put the puzzle together while I'm taking in all the information.

And it was Marietta!!!! She's definitely not right in the head, huh? I mean technically all those people did try to hurt Harry but, aside from Greyback (and possibly Umbridge), they weren't hurting him anymore. I'm a little worried what else you've got planned for us, because there are two more chapters to go and I feel like you're not done torturing me with the suspense and the twists just yet.

So I did catch two typos. Rather one typo and one formatting error. It seems you've separated each time frame with horizontal lines. In the first section it's a dialogue between Harry and Ron. Then the second section starts off with Ron leading Marietta to the interrogation room, leaving her there and heading to the cafeteria. The next paragraph in that section has him going down to her department and then following her trail to her flat and finally catching her in Diagon Alley. I think you might want to put another horizontal line in there because I was a tiny bit confused that he put her in the interrogation room and then went to look for her in her department at the ministry... (I'm really sorry if this is confusing, and please PM me if I don't make any sense right now :) ).

The typo I found was in this line:

Harry took his place, leaning against a corner, staring fixedly at suspect and soon to be convicted murderer.

I'm wondering if it would read better like this:

Harry took his place, leaning against a corner, staring fixedly at the suspect who was soon to be convicted murderer.

And I absolutely canNOT leave without telling you how much I LOVED that Ron was the one to catch her. I think Harry is the easy choice, as he's the chosen one and he always gets all the credit and he likes being in the middle of the action. But Ron is an amazing character in his own right and I just adored reading this scene with him. You were so true to his character and he totally deserved this chance to shine! Great job!

Awesome story Erin - I'm a little nervous to find out what you've got in store for us through the end ;)

Happy Birthday!

♥ Beth

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Review #7, by rosiful It begins with pink

28th June 2015:
Oooohhh this was an interesting read!
Not sure how I feel about Umbridge, do I feel sorry for her? I don't know.. I guess it's sad she got tortured, but like Ginny says, she was an old toad!

I really got chills reading the first section though! It's amazing how second person makes you feel so much more confronted when it comes to things like this. You pull it off really, really well, and I am definitely not a fan of second person usually! But in this circumstance, it went so well and really drew me in!

I love you characterisation of Harry, Ron and Ginny! They are so in character with everything they say, which is amazing. I also love Harry and Ginny, their little conversation in cute and I can feel the love they have for one another.

I have absolutely no clue who the murderer is, but I want to find out!

Slytherin House Cup 2015
(Sorry if this review was lame and didn't make sense... I'm pretty tired!)

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Review #8, by ad astra Broken Pieces

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

sweet salazar whoever this killer is they sure have a thing for harry. i mean like there are definitely better ways to get your crush's attention than systematically murdering all his enemies #voldemortinlove

“Oh, that’s right,” you murmured into his ear. “You need to use the loo.” not gonna lie, i was fully expecting an actual toilet to drop from the ceiling and kill him. that'd be a fitting way for mundungus fletcher to die, don't you think? that was terrible i'm sorry

your killer is a torturer too. warm breath, pearly teeth, clearly an altruist. you've made them almost likeable, except for the penchant for grievous bodily harm

She nodded in response, her face lighting up with a warm smile. She loved it when Ron surprised her with his affectionate gestures, especially when she really needed a distraction from her work. love a bit of romione in the midst of all the murder. cutie patooties

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Review #9, by ad astra Bitterly Truthful

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin


on mundungus fletcher. does that mean i'm right was the killer after good old dung? does he have hair? i think he was balding come to think of it #3amthoughts

Ron snorted. “Marietta hated Umbridge? That’s hard to believe given how she betrayed us at school.” okay this is excellent characterisation because we all know ron weasley is a+ at casting shade and also holds grudges for approximately ten million years

Harry recollected the events of his parents’ murder; the flash of green light illuminated the air around him as his mother’s screams resonated in his ears. He watched Cedric drop to the ground like a doll, with just two words. He watched as a green bolt narrowly missed Ginny. “I change my mind,” he said. “No one deserves it. No innocent person deserves to have their life taken away. And no one who can cast it without remorse should be given such a painless escape.” sweet Salazar that is some good characterisation. harry is so noble and has such a traumatic history, and i was almost expecting him to unmask some Hidden Dark Thoughts especially about umbridge but that wouldn't have been consistent with his character. kudos to you awesome job

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Review #10, by ad astra Chocolate and Bubbles

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

i feel a weird sense of trepidation every time i read a fluffy scene from you because there's this knowledge in the back of my mind that their happiness will end in tragedy or violence or maybe a mix of the two but James's birthday party is so adorable look at the happy Potters and wee James blowing out his birthday candles! i assume Ginny's pregnant with Albus here?

and OH LOOK THE KILLER'S AT JAMES'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. what did i tell you right there erin. ALSO i think i kind of guuessed this earlier but obviously the killer's some kind of vigilante getting back at anyone who's ever harmed harry and i am so curious about who they are which is kind of the point of a murder mystery? a+ job with that

who is the bald man?? why was my first instinct mundungus fletcher? i just remembered mundungus fletcher had hair. it's 2.30am i cannot be blamed for this

who else is bald and has wronged harry and has a lot of gold?

your killer is terrifying. and has excellent teeth. this doesn't narrow it down at all

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Review #11, by ad astra Light up the Dark

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

erin my dear i'm sorry i never got around to reading the rest of this story but we both know i'm pretty trash at reviewing and at least it means i get to review you for points ey viva la salazar

Xenophilius Lovegood Erin why would you kill Xenophilius Lovegood he was my favourite nutty wizard and poor Luna losing both parents and being the one to find him too oh no and this line How her father had taught her the beauty and mystery of life and death, showing her that her mum’s death didn’t mean it was the end. How he was the reason she grew up to be a strong, unique young woman.

i digress.

Even this lion of a man wouldn’t be able to find you. No one would be able to find you. No one knew your secret. i forgot you throw these little snippets from the killer's POV into this story and it adds so much suspense and mystery to the whole thing - to be close enough to the killer to get their POV and their thoughts but never close enough to know who it is.

luna is an actual angel bless her soul

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Review #12, by Beeezie Light up the Dark

28th June 2015:
Oh, dear. Yes, that's what I was afraid of. Xenophilius Lovegood is a little eccentric, but he's not a monster, and unlike Umbridge, they'd got a strong bond with someone who will be deeply affected by the loss.

The evidence going missing really concerns me - I'm hoping they figure that out soon, though I suspect they won't, since this is a mystery. :P

I'm also really wondering what the link between Umbridge and Lovegood is. I can't think of much that they have in common, but either this is a serial murderer who kills with no motivation whatsoever, or there's some underlying motive that's not immediately apparent. Either way, it's really worrying.

The only CC that I'd give you is that sometimes I feel like your descriptions are a little off - as, for example, when you write about Ginny's "pure adoration" toward the beginning of the chapter, or when Luna became really cheerful and bubbly at the mention of babies, despite the fact that her father has just been murdered.

Otherwise, though, I loved this!

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #13, by Beeezie It begins with pink

28th June 2015:
Oof. Well, this was uncomfortable. On one hand, I want to say that Umbridge deserved what she got, because she was kind of a terrible person... but on the other hand, anyone capable of doing this to another human being is a nasty piece of work in their own right. The opening section is just so chilling, particularly the use of the Imperius Curse. This isn't just anger or even hatred - this is cruelty that I don't think most people have in them.

I'm curious to see how Harry, Ron, and Pamela deal with Umbridge's murder, because while they had many, many reasons to dislike her... this is their job, and if they don't catch this killer now, he or she might go after someone a little less repulsive in the future.

I'm intrigued. Amazing job!

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #14, by TearsIMustConceal It begins with pink

30th May 2015:
Hello Erin!

I figured it was about time I finally started to read this (I've heard amazing things!) so here I am!

I had genuine chills reading the first part! You completely drew me in - especially the way you used second person - I honestly felt as though I was part of the murder, that it was me there at the crime scene! This part is definitely a lesson on how to write in second person - you're the master Erin!

Anyway, I can't say I'm too upset about Umbridge being dead. Ginny's reaction, which was perfectly hilarious, really does mirror my own! I reckon that's how a lot of people felt when they found out by reading the Prophet. I loved Harry and Ginny here - they're such a sweet couple and you can really feel the love between them! It was an adorable scene!

Your portrayal of Ron is perfect - right down to the things he says!

"Bloody hell, I don't know really. There would be loads of people who'd have wanted to do her in."

It's such a Ron thing to say! And I like how you have him as the one who finds the only evidence there is! He's always portrayed as the bumbling sidekick but in reality, he did become an auror so he can't be stupid!

I'm trying so hard to work out who killed dear old Dolores - there are so many to choose from but I am determined that I will work this out before you reveal the killer! I'm now in detective mode!

Anyway, this was an amazing opening chapter (you did everything perfectly!) and I'm itching to read more! You've definitely got me hooked!


PS. Your writing is truly amazing - I think I forgot to tell you that :)

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Review #15, by The Happy Snail It begins with pink

22nd May 2015:
Hi! It's me again, following up on your recommendation. ;) I love a good mystery, so I couldn't resist!

First, I LOVE second person. For so many reasons. For its immediacy, for its lyricism, for its invitation to the reader to be a part of the story. To use second person for the murderer's perspective was especially chilling. Because now, in a sense, I am the murderer. I am part of the crime. This is a good technique to draw in readers and to explore the mind of a murderer, which has to be different than other narration because murderer's are different than normal, everyday people. Brilliant choice. It was incredibly successful.

Also, I loved Ginny's reaction to hearing about Umbridge's death. It made me chuckle. She's trying to be sad about it, because it was a murder after all, but she can't find it in herself to be too sad. It felt so genuine to me. And Harry--what a sweet husband he is!

The only bit of this chapter that felt a bit inauthentic to me was when they found the black hair. How thick is this piece of hair that Ron could immediately point it out? Did he use some sort of spell to find it? Or are his eyes just really, really good? Just some questions I had at that point.

More things I liked before I move on to the next chapter: The image of the clumps of Umbridge's hair with two bloody fingernails. Chilling. It was just graphic enough to suggest the brutality of the murder without going too far. I like the small detail of Mrs. Selwyn, too, that she made them tea and chatted their ears off for hours. That was another place that made me laugh. I love that you include details like that. They really bring this story to life, and it reminds me a bit of JKR's style. She includes a lot of little details that bring characters to life without having to delve into too much backstory. I admire that quality.

I plan to read a few chapters tomorrow, so you'll hear from me again soon!

Your friend,
The Happy Snail

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Review #16, by aurevoir Code Red

2nd May 2015:
So I'm going to guess it is some sort of split personality thing and that Harry was also a little cooky for coco puffs or something? Ack. I have more questions than answers. I'm now crazy excited for warm hearts to come out - I shall be stalking for it! I also read all of this in like an hour and I'm really proud of myself for that.

Can't wait to see what happens!!!


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Review #17, by aurevoir Round Two

2nd May 2015:
I know realize you recently finished the story so my WIP comment is irrelevant and I AM EVEN MORE EXCITED. It wasn't finished last time I looked at it.

Because I know there are two more chapters, this is simply too neat. It's like when there's 13 minutes left in Law and Order - you know it isn't the end just yet. MOVING ON!

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Review #18, by aurevoir Revealed

2nd May 2015:
Curly hair could be so many people though. I think they're wrong. Or something. ACHALSDKJF.

Who needs finals ;) I need to know what's happening here and I am almost caught up. The comments almost make me think Harry is multiple personalities again though. In case you wanted to know [becuase I'm sure that's riveting].

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Review #19, by aurevoir Spotted

2nd May 2015:

I am past the time I said I was going to bed, but I must read at least ONE more chapter to determine if I am right. I really do love mysteries [and hate]

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Review #20, by aurevoir Broken Pieces

2nd May 2015:


He's torturing/killing everybody who somehow caused Potter harm. Lovegood refusing entry/calling the death eaters. Mentioning Harry almost losing an arm. Dolores is obvious. And then the over protectiveness for the child.

My tired brain tells me Harry is falling asleep and has an alter ego, but I HIGHLY doubt that so I'm just going to move on and accept that Harry is the connection.

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Review #21, by aurevoir Chocolate and Bubbles

2nd May 2015:

So now I'm triply hooked and I may skip a few chapters and come back to review later because I really just want to know what happens, even though there isn't going to be resolution anytime soon because it's still a WIP. I'm giving myself 9 more minutes to read. ONWARD.

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Review #22, by aurevoir Light up the Dark

2nd May 2015:
I know that I probably won't know who the you/canon character is anytime soon, but I now have a childish urge to stay up all night and read books.

I really love the story - the description for Luna is just so spot on. I can see her being all chipper, even when this is happening. I even imagine it in Evanna Lynch's voice the whole time [I really loved her job with Luna in the movies].

Curious to see if something will happen to Robards now that 'you' has been mentioned watching him. Moving on!

♥ Cassie

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Review #23, by aurevoir It begins with pink

1st May 2015:
AH. Ok. I'm glad that I finally just gave into the desire to read this because this is WAY more exciting than learning about Publicly Held Corporations and the law. I mean, who needs to know how a merger operates. Who needs skillls.

Ok I do. But. I decided to take a brief break and read this chapter. And I am SO glad I did. I'm really interested to see where this goes [and I hope Hermione makes an entrance soon, because I do love her too =) ]

My only critic type comment isn't even a big deal, but just so you know, judges usually do unsub lower case and without a hyphen ;) but to each their own =D . I spell gray grey because I like to pretend I'm not American sometimes. Getting to read Chapter 2 is going to be my motivation to get through some studying!

♥ Cassie

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Review #24, by EmmaGM Code Red

24th April 2015:
That's just... Are you Satan?

Author's Response: Hahah. Is it weird that I consider that a compliment?
It's not over yet. ;) Keep an eye out for the sequel!
Thanks for reviewing. :)

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Review #25, by MargaretLane Code Red

21st April 2015:
Yikes, I wonder what has happened to Harry. This IS mysterious. I really hadn't expected it to end with something like that.

I like the way Harry is more concerned about Harry than Hermione, because he knows Hermione'll take care of herself, but firstly, Harry might not - barreling into danger is sort of his thing - and secondly, they don't know if he's in a position to do so. If he has been murdered (which I doubt) or kidnapped or injured, which is more likely, he might not be able to do much about it.

Hmm, I wonder if the character speaking in the "you" part is Marietta or somebody else. Perhaps there is somebody else in this conspiracy, something going on.

The reference to Dumbledore makes it seem like it's somebody older, somebody who had a part in the war.

*grins* I was WONDERING if Hermione was pregnant when she mentioned feeling queasy.

That is a really intriguing ending. Looking forward to the sequel.

Thanks for the mention in the end note.

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