Reading Reviews for Cold Blood
  
121 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 Round Two

3rd July 2015:
Hi Erin!

Happy Birthday! I'm here from the birthday reviews thread - (and from the Erin is Awesome fan club).

Gah! I'm so happy I got to this chapter on your birthday - it was so good! I really liked the two different timelines that went on in this chapter - it definitely upped the suspense of the story. I found myself reading faster and faster and trying to put the puzzle together while I'm taking in all the information.

And it was Marietta!!!! She's definitely not right in the head, huh? I mean technically all those people did try to hurt Harry but, aside from Greyback (and possibly Umbridge), they weren't hurting him anymore. I'm a little worried what else you've got planned for us, because there are two more chapters to go and I feel like you're not done torturing me with the suspense and the twists just yet.

So I did catch two typos. Rather one typo and one formatting error. It seems you've separated each time frame with horizontal lines. In the first section it's a dialogue between Harry and Ron. Then the second section starts off with Ron leading Marietta to the interrogation room, leaving her there and heading to the cafeteria. The next paragraph in that section has him going down to her department and then following her trail to her flat and finally catching her in Diagon Alley. I think you might want to put another horizontal line in there because I was a tiny bit confused that he put her in the interrogation room and then went to look for her in her department at the ministry... (I'm really sorry if this is confusing, and please PM me if I don't make any sense right now :) ).

The typo I found was in this line:

Harry took his place, leaning against a corner, staring fixedly at suspect and soon to be convicted murderer.

I'm wondering if it would read better like this:

Harry took his place, leaning against a corner, staring fixedly at the suspect who was soon to be convicted murderer.

And I absolutely canNOT leave without telling you how much I LOVED that Ron was the one to catch her. I think Harry is the easy choice, as he's the chosen one and he always gets all the credit and he likes being in the middle of the action. But Ron is an amazing character in his own right and I just adored reading this scene with him. You were so true to his character and he totally deserved this chance to shine! Great job!

Awesome story Erin - I'm a little nervous to find out what you've got in store for us through the end ;)

Happy Birthday!

♥ Beth

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Review #2, by StarFeather Clearing Up

3rd July 2015:
Happy Birthday, Erin!

I'm eager to read your new Auror story but I have to wait till August so I chose to be back to this chapter(to be honest, I started reading that. I save review for story challenge results.)

Go back to this chapter.The first scene is so steamy.. I love it. I guess you let readers remember their experience reading the description of their relationship. You have a talent . You know how to please readers.

The incident Drodger caused made this chapter more intriguing. You caught Harry's characteristic very well. I like angry Harry, and I guess other readers do feel the same, too.

I wonder the article of the Daily Prophet is related to the incident which will happen at the end of this story.

Please let me request again. I'm waiting for the sequel to this story.

:) Kenny ☆StarFeather

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Review #3, by rosiful It begins with pink

28th June 2015:
Oooohhh this was an interesting read!
Not sure how I feel about Umbridge, do I feel sorry for her? I don't know.. I guess it's sad she got tortured, but like Ginny says, she was an old toad!

I really got chills reading the first section though! It's amazing how second person makes you feel so much more confronted when it comes to things like this. You pull it off really, really well, and I am definitely not a fan of second person usually! But in this circumstance, it went so well and really drew me in!

I love you characterisation of Harry, Ron and Ginny! They are so in character with everything they say, which is amazing. I also love Harry and Ginny, their little conversation in cute and I can feel the love they have for one another.

I have absolutely no clue who the murderer is, but I want to find out!

-Rosiful
Slytherin House Cup 2015
(Sorry if this review was lame and didn't make sense... I'm pretty tired!)

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Review #4, by ad astra Broken Pieces

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

sweet salazar whoever this killer is they sure have a thing for harry. i mean like there are definitely better ways to get your crush's attention than systematically murdering all his enemies #voldemortinlove

“Oh, that’s right,” you murmured into his ear. “You need to use the loo.” not gonna lie, i was fully expecting an actual toilet to drop from the ceiling and kill him. that'd be a fitting way for mundungus fletcher to die, don't you think? that was terrible i'm sorry

your killer is a torturer too. warm breath, pearly teeth, clearly an altruist. you've made them almost likeable, except for the penchant for grievous bodily harm

She nodded in response, her face lighting up with a warm smile. She loved it when Ron surprised her with his affectionate gestures, especially when she really needed a distraction from her work. love a bit of romione in the midst of all the murder. cutie patooties

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Review #5, by ad astra Bitterly Truthful

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

SO THE KILLER'S AN AUROR? OR SOMEONE WHO WORKS IN THE MINISTRY AND WOULDN'T BE EVEN REMOTELY SUSPICIOUS LOOKING UP FILES

on mundungus fletcher. does that mean i'm right was the killer after good old dung? does he have hair? i think he was balding come to think of it #3amthoughts

Ron snorted. “Marietta hated Umbridge? That’s hard to believe given how she betrayed us at school.” okay this is excellent characterisation because we all know ron weasley is a+ at casting shade and also holds grudges for approximately ten million years

Harry recollected the events of his parents’ murder; the flash of green light illuminated the air around him as his mother’s screams resonated in his ears. He watched Cedric drop to the ground like a doll, with just two words. He watched as a green bolt narrowly missed Ginny. “I change my mind,” he said. “No one deserves it. No innocent person deserves to have their life taken away. And no one who can cast it without remorse should be given such a painless escape.” sweet Salazar that is some good characterisation. harry is so noble and has such a traumatic history, and i was almost expecting him to unmask some Hidden Dark Thoughts especially about umbridge but that wouldn't have been consistent with his character. kudos to you awesome job

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Review #6, by ad astra Chocolate and Bubbles

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

i feel a weird sense of trepidation every time i read a fluffy scene from you because there's this knowledge in the back of my mind that their happiness will end in tragedy or violence or maybe a mix of the two but James's birthday party is so adorable look at the happy Potters and wee James blowing out his birthday candles! i assume Ginny's pregnant with Albus here?

and OH LOOK THE KILLER'S AT JAMES'S BIRTHDAY PARTY. what did i tell you right there erin. ALSO i think i kind of guuessed this earlier but obviously the killer's some kind of vigilante getting back at anyone who's ever harmed harry and i am so curious about who they are which is kind of the point of a murder mystery? a+ job with that

who is the bald man?? why was my first instinct mundungus fletcher? i just remembered mundungus fletcher had hair. it's 2.30am i cannot be blamed for this

who else is bald and has wronged harry and has a lot of gold?

your killer is terrifying. and has excellent teeth. this doesn't narrow it down at all

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Review #7, by ad astra Light up the Dark

28th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

erin my dear i'm sorry i never got around to reading the rest of this story but we both know i'm pretty trash at reviewing and at least it means i get to review you for points ey viva la salazar

Xenophilius Lovegood Erin why would you kill Xenophilius Lovegood he was my favourite nutty wizard and poor Luna losing both parents and being the one to find him too oh no and this line How her father had taught her the beauty and mystery of life and death, showing her that her mum’s death didn’t mean it was the end. How he was the reason she grew up to be a strong, unique young woman.

i digress.

Even this lion of a man wouldn’t be able to find you. No one would be able to find you. No one knew your secret. i forgot you throw these little snippets from the killer's POV into this story and it adds so much suspense and mystery to the whole thing - to be close enough to the killer to get their POV and their thoughts but never close enough to know who it is.

luna is an actual angel bless her soul

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Review #8, by Beeezie Light up the Dark

28th June 2015:
Oh, dear. Yes, that's what I was afraid of. Xenophilius Lovegood is a little eccentric, but he's not a monster, and unlike Umbridge, they'd got a strong bond with someone who will be deeply affected by the loss.

The evidence going missing really concerns me - I'm hoping they figure that out soon, though I suspect they won't, since this is a mystery. :P

I'm also really wondering what the link between Umbridge and Lovegood is. I can't think of much that they have in common, but either this is a serial murderer who kills with no motivation whatsoever, or there's some underlying motive that's not immediately apparent. Either way, it's really worrying.

The only CC that I'd give you is that sometimes I feel like your descriptions are a little off - as, for example, when you write about Ginny's "pure adoration" toward the beginning of the chapter, or when Luna became really cheerful and bubbly at the mention of babies, despite the fact that her father has just been murdered.

Otherwise, though, I loved this!

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #9, by Beeezie It begins with pink

28th June 2015:
Oof. Well, this was uncomfortable. On one hand, I want to say that Umbridge deserved what she got, because she was kind of a terrible person... but on the other hand, anyone capable of doing this to another human being is a nasty piece of work in their own right. The opening section is just so chilling, particularly the use of the Imperius Curse. This isn't just anger or even hatred - this is cruelty that I don't think most people have in them.

I'm curious to see how Harry, Ron, and Pamela deal with Umbridge's murder, because while they had many, many reasons to dislike her... this is their job, and if they don't catch this killer now, he or she might go after someone a little less repulsive in the future.

I'm intrigued. Amazing job!

House Cup 2015 - Ravenclaw

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Review #10, by TearsIMustConceal It begins with pink

30th May 2015:
Hello Erin!

I figured it was about time I finally started to read this (I've heard amazing things!) so here I am!

I had genuine chills reading the first part! You completely drew me in - especially the way you used second person - I honestly felt as though I was part of the murder, that it was me there at the crime scene! This part is definitely a lesson on how to write in second person - you're the master Erin!

Anyway, I can't say I'm too upset about Umbridge being dead. Ginny's reaction, which was perfectly hilarious, really does mirror my own! I reckon that's how a lot of people felt when they found out by reading the Prophet. I loved Harry and Ginny here - they're such a sweet couple and you can really feel the love between them! It was an adorable scene!

Your portrayal of Ron is perfect - right down to the things he says!

"Bloody hell, I don't know really. There would be loads of people who'd have wanted to do her in."

It's such a Ron thing to say! And I like how you have him as the one who finds the only evidence there is! He's always portrayed as the bumbling sidekick but in reality, he did become an auror so he can't be stupid!

I'm trying so hard to work out who killed dear old Dolores - there are so many to choose from but I am determined that I will work this out before you reveal the killer! I'm now in detective mode!

Anyway, this was an amazing opening chapter (you did everything perfectly!) and I'm itching to read more! You've definitely got me hooked!

Vicki

PS. Your writing is truly amazing - I think I forgot to tell you that :)

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Review #11, by The Happy Snail It begins with pink

22nd May 2015:
Hi! It's me again, following up on your recommendation. ;) I love a good mystery, so I couldn't resist!

First, I LOVE second person. For so many reasons. For its immediacy, for its lyricism, for its invitation to the reader to be a part of the story. To use second person for the murderer's perspective was especially chilling. Because now, in a sense, I am the murderer. I am part of the crime. This is a good technique to draw in readers and to explore the mind of a murderer, which has to be different than other narration because murderer's are different than normal, everyday people. Brilliant choice. It was incredibly successful.

Also, I loved Ginny's reaction to hearing about Umbridge's death. It made me chuckle. She's trying to be sad about it, because it was a murder after all, but she can't find it in herself to be too sad. It felt so genuine to me. And Harry--what a sweet husband he is!

The only bit of this chapter that felt a bit inauthentic to me was when they found the black hair. How thick is this piece of hair that Ron could immediately point it out? Did he use some sort of spell to find it? Or are his eyes just really, really good? Just some questions I had at that point.

More things I liked before I move on to the next chapter: The image of the clumps of Umbridge's hair with two bloody fingernails. Chilling. It was just graphic enough to suggest the brutality of the murder without going too far. I like the small detail of Mrs. Selwyn, too, that she made them tea and chatted their ears off for hours. That was another place that made me laugh. I love that you include details like that. They really bring this story to life, and it reminds me a bit of JKR's style. She includes a lot of little details that bring characters to life without having to delve into too much backstory. I admire that quality.

I plan to read a few chapters tomorrow, so you'll hear from me again soon!

Your friend,
The Happy Snail

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Review #12, by ohmymerlin It begins with pink

4th May 2015:
Hey, Erin! I'm here from my review thread!

First of all: omg

This is so suspenseful omg omg omg

WHO MURDERED UMBRIDGE OMG OMG OMG

The way you wrote from the killer's perspective starting out made me get goosebumps! You wrote it so fantastically and I was honestly a bit scared D:

This person must have absolutely hated Umbridge to perform all three curses on her! I hated Umbridge but being tortured to the brink of insanity before killing her seems way too far! I can't believe that!

And I think you've written Harry, Ron, and Ginny really well! I'm curious to see Hermione as well and see how she interacts with them all! :D

Long black hair though... The only people I'm thinking that have black hair are the Patil twins, Dean (if he grew his hair but I always pictured him to have curly hair), Blaise, Pansy, and probably a whole lot more but I can't seem to remember it.

But I also feel like it wouldn't be any Slytherins because they (mostly) liked Umbridge because she gave them so many special provisions (grr)

The story definitely wasn't boring and was one hundred per cent intriguing! I'm so curious to read on (it's very difficult for me to hold back pressing next chapter because I've got such a busy day ahead of me and can't afford to be distracted!) and find out who's behind all these killings!

I like how you made Ron spot the hair. I see so many fics where people write Ron as useless (*wipes tear away*) so it's so nice to see that you haven't written him like that :')

It made me laugh that when Robards asked if anyone liked her and none of them responded. Serves her right ;) But that does make a list of suspects extremely large, haha!

What I found interesting is that you said that since Voldemort died, a lot of people took a lot less precautions with just an Alohomora charm being used to open doors. I feel like the precautions would have definitely decreased but I also feel like a lot of people would still be really protective. Just think of the thousands of people in WWI and WWII that were still really cautious about everything. Definitely young people and young families may have not been as cautious because they didn't live through it, but I think the people that did live through it would be still be highly protective over their houses and families. Think of Mad-Eye! He had heaps of protective measures even when they first believed Voldemort went away.

Anyway, this was a really good opening chapter! I think you absolutely nailed it! I really loved reading it! And omg your description is just amazing holy moly I love it

Seriously, this makes you sit on the edge of your seat! Just wow! It's so well written ♥

Feel free to request again!

10/10 of course!

- Kayla :)

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Review #13, by aurevoir Code Red

2nd May 2015:
So I'm going to guess it is some sort of split personality thing and that Harry was also a little cooky for coco puffs or something? Ack. I have more questions than answers. I'm now crazy excited for warm hearts to come out - I shall be stalking for it! I also read all of this in like an hour and I'm really proud of myself for that.

Can't wait to see what happens!!!

Cassie

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Review #14, by aurevoir Round Two

2nd May 2015:
I know realize you recently finished the story so my WIP comment is irrelevant and I AM EVEN MORE EXCITED. It wasn't finished last time I looked at it.

Because I know there are two more chapters, this is simply too neat. It's like when there's 13 minutes left in Law and Order - you know it isn't the end just yet. MOVING ON!

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Review #15, by aurevoir Revealed

2nd May 2015:
Curly hair could be so many people though. I think they're wrong. Or something. ACHALSDKJF.

Who needs finals ;) I need to know what's happening here and I am almost caught up. The comments almost make me think Harry is multiple personalities again though. In case you wanted to know [becuase I'm sure that's riveting].

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Review #16, by aurevoir Spotted

2nd May 2015:
OH HE RETURNED TO HIS IMPECCABLE SELF THAT MEANS HE IS TAKING POLY JUICE POTION OR SOMETHING AND I BET HE LOOKS LIKE HARRY SO NOW HE THINKS HARRY COMMITTED THE MURDERS.

I am past the time I said I was going to bed, but I must read at least ONE more chapter to determine if I am right. I really do love mysteries [and hate]

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Review #17, by aurevoir Broken Pieces

2nd May 2015:
I HAD TO REVIEW

IT IS SOMEHOW HARRY.

He's torturing/killing everybody who somehow caused Potter harm. Lovegood refusing entry/calling the death eaters. Mentioning Harry almost losing an arm. Dolores is obvious. And then the over protectiveness for the child.

My tired brain tells me Harry is falling asleep and has an alter ego, but I HIGHLY doubt that so I'm just going to move on and accept that Harry is the connection.

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Review #18, by aurevoir Chocolate and Bubbles

2nd May 2015:
WHAT WAS THE WHOLE THING WITH HARRY BEING WEIRD AND SNAPPING BACK IN. AND YOU BEING AT THE PARTY. AHHH.

So now I'm triply hooked and I may skip a few chapters and come back to review later because I really just want to know what happens, even though there isn't going to be resolution anytime soon because it's still a WIP. I'm giving myself 9 more minutes to read. ONWARD.

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Review #19, by aurevoir Light up the Dark

2nd May 2015:
I know that I probably won't know who the you/canon character is anytime soon, but I now have a childish urge to stay up all night and read books.

I really love the story - the description for Luna is just so spot on. I can see her being all chipper, even when this is happening. I even imagine it in Evanna Lynch's voice the whole time [I really loved her job with Luna in the movies].

Curious to see if something will happen to Robards now that 'you' has been mentioned watching him. Moving on!

♥ Cassie

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Review #20, by aurevoir It begins with pink

1st May 2015:
AH. Ok. I'm glad that I finally just gave into the desire to read this because this is WAY more exciting than learning about Publicly Held Corporations and the law. I mean, who needs to know how a merger operates. Who needs skillls.

Ok I do. But. I decided to take a brief break and read this chapter. And I am SO glad I did. I'm really interested to see where this goes [and I hope Hermione makes an entrance soon, because I do love her too =) ]

My only critic type comment isn't even a big deal, but just so you know, judges usually do unsub lower case and without a hyphen ;) but to each their own =D . I spell gray grey because I like to pretend I'm not American sometimes. Getting to read Chapter 2 is going to be my motivation to get through some studying!

♥ Cassie

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Review #21, by EmmaGM Code Red

24th April 2015:
That's just... Are you Satan?

Author's Response: Hahah. Is it weird that I consider that a compliment?
It's not over yet. ;) Keep an eye out for the sequel!
Thanks for reviewing. :)


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Review #22, by StarFeather Code Red

21st April 2015:
Oh, you finally made the story coincide with the banner! Ohoo, mystery has just begun from the end of the story! I love it!

I've been searching real Auror, Harry Potter stories for four years. I had no idea to start writing after random reading. Now I know I had just wanted real suspense, action and fight in the cause of justice.

So you'll be ready for the next story, won't you? I'm wating for the sequel!

:) Kenny

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Review #23, by MargaretLane Code Red

21st April 2015:
Yikes, I wonder what has happened to Harry. This IS mysterious. I really hadn't expected it to end with something like that.

I like the way Harry is more concerned about Harry than Hermione, because he knows Hermione'll take care of herself, but firstly, Harry might not - barreling into danger is sort of his thing - and secondly, they don't know if he's in a position to do so. If he has been murdered (which I doubt) or kidnapped or injured, which is more likely, he might not be able to do much about it.

Hmm, I wonder if the character speaking in the "you" part is Marietta or somebody else. Perhaps there is somebody else in this conspiracy, something going on.

The reference to Dumbledore makes it seem like it's somebody older, somebody who had a part in the war.

*grins* I was WONDERING if Hermione was pregnant when she mentioned feeling queasy.

That is a really intriguing ending. Looking forward to the sequel.

Thanks for the mention in the end note.

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Review #24, by MargaretLane Clearing Up

21st April 2015:
Apologies for the delay in getting to this. I can't remember why I didn't read it when it first went up - was probably busy with one thing or another and then it kind of got lost among my "must read" list. Anyway, I'm getting to it now.

Oh, gosh, EMBARRASSING, Ron showing up at that moment.

Hmm, I wonder is there any more to that push. You've drawn a lot of attention to it which makes me wonder if it's as minor an issue as it seems. I mean, of course, it was serious enough at the time, but I've a feeling something more might come of it.

And that part about Harry's mind becoming blank and him punching the wall is a little ominous. I understand that he wants to protect his wife, but it IS over the top.

Love the linking of a divorce scandal with a pureblood going against tradition by dating a Muggleborn scandal. It makes sense the wizarding world would find the combination scandalous, especially as, while the wizarding world seems liberal in some ways, things like divorce and unmarried pregnancy seem uncommon, indicating they may be frowned upon.

Harry seems like he's heading for some kind of breakdown. I'm surprised Ron is more worried about him than Hermione. She's normally more perspective than he is.

I wonder what Hermione feels isn't right - whether it's something to do with Harry, something to do with the case or both. There could be a connection, though I can't see what.

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Review #25, by Shadowkat It begins with pink

21st April 2015:
First thing's first...the toad deserved it.

Second, this is really good, I might have to come back later. Keep up the good job, the second person perspective at the beginning was a very nice touch. :)

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