Reading Reviews for Peace
  
9 Reviews Found

Review #1, by lightthecandle I am all alone

30th July 2014:
Hey, I'm finally here for the review!
Okay, wow... I've read a lot of grief-based stories before and none them seem to portray such an accurate description of losing someone you loved. That was amazing! And the fact it's exactly like an all-consuming love, which is part of what Mania is, it's just well written.
The ratio between description and speech was perfect, I think adding anymore speech would have ruined the aesthetic but you put in the right amount without disturbing the story plot too much :)
I just love this story for Mania so much, it's a brilliant entry because you can tell how much Teddy's love meant to Victoire and the mystery of his death is just reeling me in... I just want to know more about it! And you did an amazingly weird job of making me think I was Victoire whilst reading but also feel like I was watching the scene.
Just fantastic! And well done!
~Aimee xxx

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Review #2, by patronus_charm I am all alone

6th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review!

Hi Mary!

I’ve been meaning to read this ever since making the banner so here I am! I really liked the opening few lines to this but particularly this one ‘My eyes open but never seeing. Going through the motions but never really participating. Living but not truly living.’ As it really set the scene well for what was about to happen and gave us an insight into Victoire’s detached state of mind, and it’s just a really lovely quote too.

Victoire’s thoughts and mind were written really well in my opinion. In every sentence there was a hint of Teddy whether it was how he left her, how he changed her, how much she loved him and the way you managed to carry on showing different perspectives throughout was really clever and just showed how Victoire had never really gotten over him.

The ending was written so well! With the way Teddy’s voice came to her and comforted to her to the imagery and description throughout. It just fitted so well with the story title because Victoire had finally managed to find her peace with life and with him and she seemed whole again.

This was a really interesting one-shot to read!

-Kiana

Author's Response: It's so nice of you to come and read this story. Thanks! When I first wrote this story, the beginning was missing. I just kind of jumped into the whole movie scene with no idea where to start from. Then I came up with those lines and it just seemed to resonant... so I kept them. Glad you liked them too :P Teddy made so much of an impact in her life, she still lived with him there, even when he wasn't physically there. I think that would be what it would be like to lose the love of your life. They never truly leave you. The ending was what I began with. Through I don't promote suicide in anyway, I like the idea of her finally finding her peace in that way so she can be with him. Thanks again for this lovely review!
xoxo
Mary


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Review #3, by AlexFan I am all alone

8th June 2014:
I did not expect it to escalate to that point while I was reading the story, that was just a huge shock for me.

First things first, what exactly happened to Teddy? Because we know he's dead (or at least I'm assuming he is from the way that you wrote him) but how exactly did he die and how long has Victoire been grieving?

This was written really well, Victoire's feelings were very realistic and the pain that she felt must've been really great for her to want to end her own life. There should've been someone there to look after her and make sure that she was okay. Clearly Victoire needed to see a doctor or a healer, why did none of her family members take her to get some help or did she just never seen them or speak to them or something?

When she took out that razor blade, my hands flew to my mouth in shock and horror, I was just screaming inside of my head for her not to do it because it was not the solution! I just really wanted to hug her and tell her that everything was okay. I was hoping someone would find her before she did the deed but then no one did and I was just left feeling kind of empty inside really.

But at least she had her Teddy hallucination there to help her towards the end. At least Victoire was finally at peace again.

Great one-shot and the results to the challenge will be up shortly!

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks for the challenge and the review!

Yes, Teddy is dead and has been for about 3-4 months during the time in this story. I was constantly changing my mind for why he died, and I just couldn't decide on anything so I just kept it vague. Probably the best fit would have been some sort of accident that was a one time thing and was a shock to everyone.

I'm glad you thought her emotions were real enough. As I have never been in that much grief before, I had to draw from outside sources of what it is like and was therefore worried it wouldn't feel real. I was going to write a scene where she was with her mother and Fleur was trying to help her get through it, but Vic kind of shut out everyone in her life. I just didn't put it in because it took away from the flow and the big impact of the ending which I thought was more important.

I know, my heart breaks for Vic. I actually had this scene written out before your challenge ever went up, and it wasn't until I saw your challenge did I get a plunny for the lead up to her death. So thank you for that :).

Thanks again!
Mary


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Review #4, by LilyFire I am all alone

20th May 2014:
Hey, we swapped ages ago and I am just getting here with your review. Sorry!

Okay, so first of I really liked this. The emotions came through really well, and the tought processes and just...all of it. I feel like it would have had more impact if, at the end, someone had found her or the story just cut off or something. I don't know, really. But I feel like the way this ended took it from sad to a ever so slightly lighter tone (not much, mind you). Still, it was good and like I said, a very good insight into her situation. I thought for sure the video would make her smile or happy, but I can see how watching her wedding again would make her sad.
~Lily

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the nice review! I can understand cutting it off to have the bigger impact, and I may change my mind some day and do that, but I don't know, I kinda am liking the sweeter ending :) Thanks again!
Mary


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Review #5, by lumos_knox I am all alone

16th May 2014:
Here for the review swap, I know it's not long but...
Oh my goodness I feel so... I don't know what right now! Shaky! I am feeling scared after reading that, but it's a good scared, because you have gotten me to feel that and aaah! poor vitoire. Oh gosh what a powerful piece of writing! There is nothing else to say
- lumos

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much!! Made my day!! *hugs*

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Review #6, by Leonore I am all alone

15th May 2014:
Just a little bit in shock now. I was reading it thinking "she'll be happier when she watches the video." Then "that's not actually Teddy but Tonks come to check on her" but it wasn't. It really was literal.

I always manage to find something to point out: "I knew that no one would here these or any goodbyes" - should be "hear". And that's all I can find.

Thoroughly believable. The repetition and short paragraphs are so effective - especially the "needed it to stop".

And the ending... when characters die in my one-shots, I cut it off at that point. But you've got that tiny, beautiful little ray of light right at the very end.

I'm not the sort of person who cries at stories, but if I was I probably would be now. I did my rather less impressive alternative of just sitting staring at it for a minute without being able to form a sentence.

Argh, so caught up I lost track of time! Have to rush out of the house now- worth the rush to read this story properly, though. Absolutely beautiful.

- Leonore

Author's Response: Well I wish I could say I'm sorry that I made you sad... but, honestly I'm not ;P. Muhaha I'm an eviilll author!! Sorry, got off topic.. oops. Anyway, thanks for pointing that out, I'll go back and change that. Aw, thanks for this review. It made my day :D *hugs over the internet*

P.S. Sorry for this extremely scatter brained response. I'm not crazy, I promise. My mother had me tested ;)


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Review #7, by toomanycurls I am all alone

14th May 2014:
When I first read this I got teared up (I wouldn't say I full-on cried though). The loss of a spouse is something that I have a hard time contemplating so this was a very touchy topic for me.

I thought you handled the subject well. Victoire's grief felt quite real to me. I wanted her to have support and people with her though. I thought her family would have been more there with her during her time of need and grief. I really liked the image of her going through the motions but not participating. That struck me very close to home.

Reliving their wedding through the dvd seemed like a particularly harsh form of torture for Vic. That was likely one of the happiest days they had together and comparing that to her grief-stricken life would feel quite hopeless.

You did her death really well. I felt it was enough detail that I knew what was going on but not so much that it was gory. I loved the idea of Teddy coming to get her and bring her into her afterlife. That was sweet.

-Rose

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review! I wish I could say I'm sorry that you teared up, but... I'm not really sorry at all ;). Thank you. I know I didn't really write her with any interaction with her family, but I feel like she was so drawn into herself her family, no matter what they did, wouldn't have been too much of a help. Yes, the dvd was really what set her over the edge in the end. The juxtaposition (sorry, still in the mindset of my AP english exam) of the feelings of her wedding day with the man she loved to the loss she feels without him was just too much for her to handle. Thank you, I felt like the gory would have taken away from the story. I wanted to give Vic some sort of closure in the end, and although it wasn't much, it was at least something. Thank you again, Rose, for the nice review :)
xoxo
Mary


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Review #8, by LightLeviosa5443 I am all alone

24th April 2014:
Dude. It is not okay to make me cry in a public place. SO not okay.

So, I read Azkaban and I really liked that, and I figured I'd probably like this too. I thought that this was really great. I felt that the way you showed Vic's emotions, and had her go through her own personal grieving process. How the cycle just kept going.

Ugh. I knew what was going to happen the second she put in the wedding video, and I kid you not, I was saying no no no the whole time. And then I started crying because it was so sad and heart wrenching. And you really did a good job of grabbing the readers emotions.

One little CC, I did notice a couple of my's instead of me's and for's instead of from's just little mistakes like that. They didn't really break up the piece as a whole, but easy fixes I figured I'd point out.

Anyways. Really great job on this. You should definitely be proud of it.

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm sorry to say this but I'm glad I made you cry. Haha! No, I am not a heartless person, I'm just glad I was able to successfully put emotion into the piece. I'm glad you liked Azkaban too! Those two pieces were totally different than anything I have ever done before, but I actually quite liked writing them. Thank you for pointing out those mistakes! I'll go back now and fix them :). Thank you again!
xoxo Mary


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Review #9, by Lorz Potter I am all alone

24th April 2014:
Wow this was a really good story. By the end I was getting really upset.

Author's Response: Thank you to my first review on the story! Sorry that I'm not sorry you got upset because that means I got the emotion across. Haha! Thank you again!
xoxo


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