Reading Reviews for The Yellow Incident
  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by SeverusLove The Green Incident?

10th July 2014:
How did you make such a poignant story in so few words? Really though, this was such a quotable story, it was beautiful and well-written as well. From the words "She was irrelevant; there was no point to her. She sat there, occupying space." I was instantly hooked. It was a notion so sarcastic and interesting and fit Gellert a lot.

I admired how well-paced it was. The tone was a bit confusing at first since you alternated between two perspectives yet both telling the story in 2nd Person, but I eventually got accustomed and it became easier and flowed together excellently. The length was perfect, and your betas must be amazing because I couldn't find a letter out of place, except for the missing full stop to the phrase -- "precious minutes which would have changed your destiny".

The imagery in your description is beautiful. The sentence -- "She should have called you green." -- was a chilling closing it left an impression. Your sentence structure was brief, but brought meaning and emotion and images. Your format style was easy to follow.

I have very little to complain about with your characterisation. They were all very fascinating characters and although we know all about them, you managed to add a tinge of mystery that would have the readers intrigued.

The personal opinion of Gellerts inserted in between parenthesis was fun to read as well. I found this part -- (Was this hurt? Intriguing.) -- especially amusing. The minute this phrase -- "This story has always been about your mistakes." -- came in, a large shadow of foreboding loomed over me. I knew from the start this wasn't going to be a happy story, but that phrase made it all the more real for me.

This had to be the most vivid, most beautiful phrase to me -- "and when she fell you counted like she had once done. One, two, three. She didn't open her eyes." -- It was painful and it made me hate you and love you at the same time. Why do you do this to my feels?

You write so well, keep up the great work!

Best Regards,
Sevvy
(- House Cup Review 2014 -
Go Gryffies!)

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Review #2, by TidalDragon The Green Incident?

8th July 2014:
Hello hello hello! So I knew that I had to finish my miniature Christmas-in-July routine with this story (slightly selfishly) because I hadn't read it yet! And yet I've heard SO MANY great things about it. And now I've seen why.

First off, I thought from the top you capture Grindelwald well. He was such an intense person, yes a manipulator, and almost emotionless, but somehow Ariana brought out another side of him. This side was no less intense, but it showed how even before his fall from "power" (is that the right term?) he actually differed from Voldemort in that he really had emotions. He was less of a sociopath and more of a power-hungry egomaniac with warped beliefs.

The whole stolen moments development of his fixation on Ariana and their shared connection despite themselves was also done excellently. It made it difficult to question the connection, coming from Grindelwald's perspective, but also made you understand her appeal to him at the same time.

I also found the style intriguing again. Originally, when I left my previous review I thought the parentheticals were something specific to that story, but you used them here also (again, I have not read enough of your work). What is most interesting to me about them is that I can't quite put my finger on why I think they work for you, but they do. Normally, I'm a person who abhors parentheses in fiction, so this is quite a moment. But I think it's perhaps the way you keep them short and pointed, like internal asides. It just does something for me as a reader that I like and it's a very unique touch!

Congrats on such a wonderful story!

House Cup 2014 Review

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Review #3, by patronus_charm The Green Incident?

23rd May 2014:
Whoo, hi lovely! ♥

Erm, yeah this was kinda bad, sorry Nadia even if youíre my friend, the truth must be sad.




HAhahaha, (also 5 points to Ravenclaw if I tricked you), yeah when I mean bad, I mean bad because it broke my feels and yeah Iíve eaten all my chocolate so how I can fix my heart now? Erm, where to even begin, ooh letís start with Gellert! I loved him he was so arrogant and smug, that I loved it when he realised that he liked Ariana because he always viewed her as something beneath him so it must have come to a big shock to his ego when he realised his true feelings and I loved that realisation.

The second person POV worked really well here because it just meant that we could see his mental struggle so much more clearly and understand all the differing points of argument in his head. Ok, Iím making no sense but I loved it! Speaking of his mental struggle I thought that was written really well too, the use of italics was so good here, as it really showed how he just kept on thinking and thinking about the same point over and over but he had no resolution. I think this - She was just fourteen. Was my favourite as it had a sort of bam in your face quality about it.

Erm, the ship?! At first, I was like is Nadia crazy what is she doing it is Albus and Gellert 5eva! But then as I read more and more of the story, I really grew into it and loved it, especially the whole yellow/green thing (so cute!!!). Iím still struggling in my head to decide whether Ariana liked him back or whether Gellert truly loved her or more loved the idea of her. Currently, it stands that Gellert loved the idea of her because she was one of the first people he never truly understood (because he has a big ego yíall and probably thought he had some mind jitsu powers and stuff), but I think itís just one of those ships when even the people in it donít really understand their feelings.

There was some brilliant description in here too, with the whole use of yellow and green as those colours really stuck in my mind a while after reading the story. I donít even want to talk about the scene (aka you know, Ariana :í(), but it had such great description and emotions in it I have to bring it up for that. Ah, it was just so horrible and how her death never faded from his mind really showed how strong his feelings were for him.

Finally the letter! That was a perfect addition to the story and was so moving. I always love letters because they just bare so much of the authorís soul like here, and we really get to see how pure his feelings are it makes me sad to see their demise and how theyíre not used anymore. (sorry for that random rambleÖ)

Anyhow, thank you for a brilliant entry, Nadia!

-Kiana

Author's Response: HI KIANA SORRY FOR THE DELAYED RESPONSE ♥ ♥ ♥

LOL, you ALMOST tricked me as I have my zoom on like 3000% zoom because I am blind bahaha but no you didn't trick me :P

Aw, the way you talk about this Gellert I wrote almost doesn't make me feel bad about this story! :P

WELL 2ND POV ALL THANKS TO YOU SO CREDS TO YOU MHMM ♥

lolol you thought the ship was cute :P omg and I KNOW I AM ALL GELLERT/ALBUS TOO!!! But I was like omg but whut if even Ariana and it kinda spiralled form there. They definitely didn't understand their feelings except for maybe Albus because for him it was love and Gellert doesn't even know what love is and Ariana is a bit mental and really scared too so she doesn't know and it's just very much lovenotlove in that sense.

HOW DO YOU EVEN LIKE THE DESCRIPTION IT WHAT THERE IS NO DESCRIPTION!!! I just. skim. over. the entire. story.

IT'S OKAY I LOVE LETTER AND RAMBLES.

THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING AND WAHH HOW DOES THIS WIN ANYTHING ANYWAY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. ♥


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Review #4, by Hats For House Elves The Green Incident?

22nd May 2014:
Quote: "A generally harsh constructive review please! What worked, what doesn't seem right for the era. How's the 2nd POV and anything that stands out to you."

Alright.

General comments to start with, then I shall go further into detail. I really like the idea of being inside Gellert's head and I think you can play a bit more with the idea of the manipulative power hungry teen. You don't have to justfy why he's the way he is but you do have to make him the way he is without spelling it out. The idea that Albus is unaware his flirting will be futile is tragic and I love that twist. The brackets however not so much.

You leave a lot of questions in your writing, so here we go into detail. Are you sitting comfortably?

Your story is filled with pronouns. You She He. It restricts your sentences into a 'you did this, this happened' structure. Less is more on the pronouns.Expand on the this happened bit. It gives you more room to describe. If you've seen my forum profile you should know what's coming - read your story aloud.
It will highlight how your story flows and a story that can be read aloud is priceless. We know it is in second person from the first sentence let the rest of it breathe.
The whole story comes across as a memory, particularly since you are in the past tense but also because you use that predicting the future trick - 'It would not be long before you would look for her'. You can therefore get rid of You remember and instead focus on Ariana.
Quote:"She was irrelevant; there was no point to her. She sat there, occupying space."
This sets a trend throughout your story in which you leave a lot to our imagination. Expand a bit. So - irrelevant and no point are the same thing but why? As I see it Gellert has no use, no purpose for her. Establish his selfishness here because she is only irrelevant while she does nothing to help him.
She sat there - Where? How? Occupying space - Nice words but something made him notice. What?
I could honestly go through every sentence and have questions like this so if you want me to message me. It would end up being an edit/beta read.

I'll move on.

The selfishness and desperation for power needs to be emphasised and expanded in the first half so when you get to the flower on the table bit there is more contrast. Gellert has probably never felt pity before in his life or at least as I read him.

The letter oh the letter. Brilliant idea - I would change one thing.
I read 'Dear Ariana' and my breath caught. I knew that it was probably written after the fact and that hurt but by starting the letter as a confession that Gellert isn't writing it softens the blow and stops any build-up of emotion. Make it so he did write it. Then stick a paragraph at the end such as;

You wrote it in your best ink with your best quill, the words burst from your fingertips in a rush of misunderstood emotion. She would never read it. She would never know but you sent it to her anyway on the smoke as if the curling flames could rid you of the shame that burned like the embers themselves. The letter turned to ash. Only guilt remained.

Or you could even merge the letter within that paragraph tease the reader with it.

To turn 2nd person into fiction expand on the description. I hope this wasn't too harsh.

The era is pretty irrelevant since you are focusing on emotion and social interaction on a personal level. Unless you want to describe their clothes then don't worry.

Keep writing

Hats

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Review #5, by marauderfan The Green Incident?

16th May 2014:
Waaah, this is amazing!! ♥ Hmm, I'm not quite sure where to start with this review which is sure to be full of gushing and rambling. Feel free to just skip to the end now. :P

I love the quote you chose to open this piece with - it's beautiful, and really sets the tone for how sad this is going to be!

Gellert/Ariana - I've never read anything like this before or even considered it as a ship, but I love the way you wrote them. Your characterization of both of them is wonderful; it's all very subtle, just based on little details. The second line alone says so much about both of them: She was irrelevant; there was no point to her. She sat there, occupying space. -- Already, Gellert's arrogance is plain as day, and his disregard for people who are not obviously 'great'. And Ariana is just there, unassuming and quiet in the background. It would probably take me a paragraph of rambly prose to say, and you did it just like that. Teach me your ways pls.

The way you've written Gellert and Ariana it's entirely believable - of course Gellert is attracted to mystery and Ariana is all mystery. The way Gellert treated both Ariana and Albus, with a kind of exterior indifference or just fake charm for Albus when he felt like it, fits right with his arrogant and manipulative nature. He has to be the one in control of a situation, but with this situation, he's not - so he just pretends he is. I just love how you've written Gellert's POV here, how he's so aware of his own faults but in a way believes himself above them, like he shouldn't bother to fix them (at least that's how it came across to me.) like "You almost feel bad" about using Albus... but he doesn't actually feel bad. Just almost.

The second person POV I think is such a nice touch, too. I think that POV adds a really interesting layer to a story and often a very detached feel, which is so ideal for Gellert specifically. Also, 2nd person is almost a manipulative POV because it's "you think this, you feel that" and how perfect is that for such a manipulative character. (I doubt I even made any sense there, but anyway I love the POV and think it's really well done especially with this character!)

And ugh, the curse - he thought he knew who did it aghhh so sad :( I think this is really the turning point in the story where Gellert actually feels bad about something (but not that much of a turning point because he still keeps it all inside and runs away). But the fact that he feels regret - the fact that Ariana's death changed such an immutable person shows that there could have been hope for him... if he were not Gellert Grindelwald. ;)

I love the attention to colour in here too - lots of different colours mentioned, most notably the yellow throughout and the green at the end. I love it, it's vivid and beautiful, but also because of the symbolism of yellow being such a happy colour and green being envy, which I think was something Gellert had a lot of.

So anyway, I don't know if any of that long-winded ramble made sense, but anyway what I want to say is this: I loved this fic! Your portrayals of the characters, and particularly this inside view into the mind of Grindelwald, are really stunning and I admire the powerful but simple prose you use. There aren't that many words, but it says a lot. I'm so impressed! Wonderful job. ♥

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Review #6, by Karou_Marauder The Green Incident?

15th May 2014:
Hello, Nads! (I shall call you Nads, lol)

"She was irrelevant; there was no point to her." This sentence seems to sum up Grindelwald entirely and the one after just foreshadows brilliantly.

And here you grasp his manipulative side brilliantly. How long did you research Grindelwald's character before you wrote this? It's brilliant. (Am I right in guessing that the brackets indicate his thoughts when he's older, looking back?)

The way you've broken up the parts here is genius. It separates it out without being confusing, showing a difference between each part...awesome formatting :D

Aw "This story has always been about your mistakes" - my heart=broken. Fourth section and I already ship Gellert/Ariana, but I know it won't work...:(

The description of Ariana is just Per. Fec. Tion. It totally fits with her character and the mystery around her.

Ahsjdjdhsvah "Your largest punishment would already have happened" ASKXHDBSB WHAT IS THIS HOW CAN YOU SAY THIS NO TOO SAD TOO SAD HEART...melting...

"You though you knew whose curse it had been" OMG WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME? Is this what I think it is? (Please say it isn't. Please. I'm begging you.)

Nononononono "She should have called you green" I just...no words. None.

So...what I mean to say is: This is the most emotional and well-written piece I've read for a while. You took a rare (unheard of?) ship and made them utterly believable. The hints and foreshadowings in the one-shot are plentiful and frustrating - in a good way :). You've really shown Gellert's character without covering up his bad side or making excuses for it in someway. You even have him acknowledge those sides.

I love it :)

Oh, and good luck too! (I forgot this was a challenge thing as I just got so lost in the story)

-Karou/flamey :P

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Review #7, by randomwriter The Green Incident?

14th May 2014:
Hello Nadia! :) I'm here with one awfully late review, but be happy because it's not even midnight here. Also, this is review #120. I know it isn't some significant number, but it has a zero in the end and is three digits long, so lets pretend it is. Alright? Ah, I'm wasting words before even getting to my review. (And again. Blah.)

Okay. Review. Review. Review.

Nadia dearest, teach me how to write, okay? Because after reading this, I don't think I've ever known how to. This is so beautiful and your prose just sings. Second person POV? Nadia? Pshh. Level- MASTER. I don't know how you managed to write something like this in this POV without making it seem disorienting and confusing. I was literally glued from start to end.

I haven't read too many stories about Gellert (or Ariana), but I find them both really intriguing and mysterious characters. There's so much about them that can be explored through the medium of writing, and I cannot possibly ever have imagined this. Gellert/Ariana? Wow. Talk about the world's most twisted love triangle, eh? But honestly, I'd never have thought. It's so unique and interesting and I was pleasantly surprised by how well this worked.

Your characterisation was absolutely stunning. You managed to capture Gellert's manipulative, conniving side in the most perfect manner ever. And yet, I don't think I've ever read a story where he seems so human, with human emotions and thoughts. It's usually just his hunger for power, but here, we got to see a different side of him. People always choose to portray his mad side, but you went for his heart, and WOW. I still don't know how I feel about him though, and I know that somewhere in your mind you wanted him to be received like this. His selfish personality rings through this clearly, as does his his gentle, caring side- more in his thoughts than actions.

Ariana too was lovely. She is a shy, quiet and reserved girl and whatever happened to her was really unfortunate. You managed to capture that so well. I love how you didn't overplay her characteristics and make her overly friendly or talkative or anything. You stuck with her characterisation and you still managed to make her seem more alive. I don't know how, but you did it.

I love the style in which you wrote this. It was really engrossing and I love how we got to see Gellert as if we were observing him, his life and his actions (the second person POV tends to have that effect :p) I love the contrast that the bits in the brackets provided. It gave us an insight into his thoughts and I really thought you've written this well without it seeming like a bit overdone. You've also italicised just the right words for the perfect effect. I think you've created a delicate, but perfect balance here.

Another thing that struck me was how realistic this piece was. All the emotions and actions and thoughts fit so well. Another example is how you portrayed Ariana. I like how you didn't make her gorgeous(even in Gellert's eyes) or confident or anything. It was a quiet sort of love, you know and you wrote it well. The bit about the letter too was so relate-able. From experience, I know how cathartic the experience of letter writing (or letter thinking :p) in response to loss and guilt is. So I found that part really convincing as well.

What I must commend you on most, however is how you created this powerful bond between Gellert and Ariana without having to explicitly state anything. They barely interacted, and out of the few, most of their interactions were non-verbal. Yet, I felt like you managed to convey more here you could have by writing a 1000 words of dialogue or courtship. Well done!

The colours and symbolism were so fitting. From how I see it, 'yellow' serves a two-fold purpose. First, it is the colour of happiness and joy. So perhaps, in her own small way, Ariana saw that in Gellert when nobody else did (the way Albus loved him was different). Maybe it was the iris? Yellow is also the colour of decay and disease, much like his mind rotting away in a cell in his later life. I was struck by the symbolism. It's so perfect! :')

I'm running out of space, so I can't possibly list out all my favourite lines, but there were a ton. So I'll skip that part and go on :p

I like how you wrote the duel. You maintained the vagueness and ambiguity of the books, but it still made sense. I was still confused and from how you've describbed his thoughts later, I feel like maybe, maybe it was his curse, but I don't want to think about it.

His love for her and regret over what he had done came through so clearly in the end. Sitting in a cold cell, his mental anguish still overrode his physical discomfort and the memories never failed to haunt him. That was over powering.

Ah, Nadia. I have so much more to say but I don't have many characters left (there seems to be a shortage of those :( ). You've written this so well, and I haven't been able to include all that I wanted to in this review. Your story was amazing, and compelling. You wrote it so well and I cannot figure out how to tell you how beautiful it was. Everything was so fitting, and you haven't wasted a single word. I loved it. The writing, the characterisation, the thoughts and the pairing :O. Your Gellert, Ariana and Albus are so perfect. I love how you didn't shy away from writing about a period in his life when things were so dark. The melancholic reminders of grief and guilt, the thirst for power and the need for love all shone through so clearly. Great writing, Nadia! :)

The ending was so apt. As were the story and chapter titles. Green and Yellow. The symbolism is amazing. I can't say it enough.

Write more, and I get to read more :D

P.S- HERE'S YOUR CHOCOLATE FROG!!

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Review #8, by monstrosity The Green Incident?

14th May 2014:
WHY HAVEN'T I REVIEWED THIS EARLIER?!

Ahem, be prepared for a really long ramble. The first story I read of yours (which was also the first story I reviewed ever) was Puncture where you wrote in Second POV too. I thought that was the limit, the highest sort of work anyone on here could achieve. Then, with this story, you proved me wrong. Hooray...here are my feels :'(

Gellert is always portrayed to be the worst sort of villain (apart from Voldemort) and to see you take a realistic spin on him is amazing. It really is a glimpse into his mid to show that even the people we think are most evil are after all human as well.

I like how you never really mention Gellert explicitly loving Ariana but by his thoughts and actions it's portrayed better than plain words ever could. Those small details really clinch it, in my opinion. I never knew how much depth one sentence could possess until I read 'she was only fourteen'. It can be interpreted in so many angles, conveying Gellert's infatuation, sheer irritation with himself, Ariana's youth and innocence. Four words, dammit.

Other sentences were equally brilliant. 'She was so young she was almost old' and 'She was simply Ariana, and you her Yellow' are ones that I think I'll never forget.

The way you don't write, but show character emotion is truly outstanding. Albus' jealousy, Aberforth's anger and Gellert rapid mood swings. They're also so vivid that my head is practically reeling from the impact right now.

Finally the whole concept of yellow. From what I gather, yellow is a colour generally reserved for sunshine and victory and happiness, things Gellert never really possessed. Hence the fact that Ariana calls him Yellow shows her ability to find goodness in everyone no matter how deep she has to delve to find it. It's practically heartbreaking to see her try and develop a relationship with him only to be met with cool indifference and, on occasion, anger. Still, she perseveres, right until her death. It's tragically beautiful.

From what I gather, memories seem to be the worst sort of punishment for Gellert here. He doesn't seem to mind the prison as much as he's constantly reminded of what he put Albus and Ariana throughout. That letter was just breath taking. You could have easily overstepped the line and turned into a soppy tearstained affair, but you managed to retain Gellert's original character and not transform him into something completely unrecognizable.

That last para was just...oomph. I don't know how to describe it, so I'm going to just stick with that. How she should have called him green because he just kills everybody around him. Oh my gosh Nadia it's just...I can't even wrap my mind around it. Gellert's just a broken shadow of a man now. I want to hug him...is that a bad thing?

As per usual, your writing is just awesome and makes my self confidence take a nose-dive. I will get there one day, but I'm sure by then you'll be skyrocketing upwards to greater heights. This just grabs hold of my heart and squishes it into pulp. Brilliantly done, hun!

-Sathya

Author's Response: SATHYA OMG HI HI HI!

Whaaat. What are you even saying because I assure you there are so many other writers on this site that are FLAWLESS and their stories are so amazing and you are just way way way too kind to me and I want to just die gah.

Haha, I guess it's like of like the whole Sirius movie quote, about the world being split into good people and bad people. Everyone has good and bad in them, and so did Gellert. He was the ultimate manipulator and just really wanted something really really bad.

"Four words dammit" LOL *hugs super duper tightly so ribs break like Hagrid's hugsss* what are you even DOING to me Sathya oh my god *hugs*

"The way I don't write" SEE, FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO SEES AND UNDERSTANDS MY WRITING. I DON'T WRITE, EVER. I'm way too lazy to write. There are so many scenes for this fic in my brain but unwritten because lazy.

Omg, the way you talk about the whole Yellow concept makes me want to cry because I sort of meant it in that way and you picked it out and wahh seriously, I will cry if you continue to say such nice things to me.

Haha, that's funny because the letter was a tearstained affair until Sian was like, "ew Nadia that's so girly" and I cropped out half of it :P Glad that was a good move!

Nah, I'd want to hug him too (mainly because he is a hottie pants in the movies!!!) ♥

///
WAIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
CAN YOU PLEASE NOT. ♥
HEY HEY HEY.
YOU WRITE MUCH BETTER THAN ME YO.
STOP./// I WILL PERSONALLY FIND YOU AND KILL YOU IF YOU EVER SAY THAT AGAIN AND WHAT IS THIS "makes my self confidence take a nose-dive" sorcery LIKE NO NO NO. ♥
damn.
I think I am crying now.

THANK YOU THANK YOU. ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #9, by teh tarik The Green Incident?

13th May 2014:
NADIA

OK. Gellert Grindelwald? YES.

Ariana Dumbledore? YES.

Hanna the Hitgirl as Ariana Dumbledore? YESYESYES.

Albus/Gellert/Ariana triangle? ;aklsdlkafLAKJSL

I swear this story is just screaming at me to read it and review it and favourite it and what not. I love these characters and there aren't many stories on HPFF about them and finding one written by some awesome person like you is just an absolute treat.

OK, where to begin!?

It's been a long time since I read any Gellert/Ariana; I'm more of a Gellert/Albus shipper haha, but I love Ariana-centric stories. Your second person POV is just like omg *is jealous* How the heck do you guys even do this POV? It really breaks Gellert open, y'know? He's not an easy character to write at all, and second person was just perfect...it was sort of interrogatory here. You really pinned him down, forced him to be honest about everything, about himself and his feelings. I love your characterisation of him. His manipulation of Albus, the parts where he loses control, the final bits where he sees Ariana in his cell and sort of loses his temper at her. Gah. ♥

And Ariana! Poor girl. Trapped by her own self, and her last days with Albus feeling less and less concern for her. :( :( I love how innocent she is, how she's fascinated not by Gellert and all his stupendous spellwork and talent and whatnot, but by something so simple as a bright colour. And she calls him Yellow too! THAT'S LIKE, GELLERT/ARIANA FLUFF ♥ And as much as Gellert is attracted to her, she seems indifferent to his feelings, doesn't even notice, probably doesn't even know the meaning of his feelings or attraction.

The letter at the end was sad. Especially that it was written in Gellert's head. I dunno, there are just SO MANY UNREQUITED THINGS in your story, srsly it's twisting all the feels in my gut.

Anyway, ignore the whole rambling review above. I just wanted to say that I really loved reading this; I think you've done an amazing job with the characters, really. They're difficult characters to write, and I'm super picky when I'm reading these guys, but I think you've done a fab job and I love this. Thank you for writing this, lovely. ♥

-teh

Author's Response: TEH ♥

Gellert Grindelwald? NO. I don't like him. Plus, I can never spell his name right :P

Ariana Dumbledore? Okay yes, I do like her :P

HANNAH THE HITGIRL AS ARIANA? ALL BECAUSE OF YOU DEAR, I LIKE SAORISE RONAN.

asfhjrkymt CAN YOU PLEASE NOT ♥

Wait what don't favourite it lol :P thank you and I agree there should be more stories about them and certain Nadias like me should catch up on The Deathly Children but they are lazy pieces of poop! (congrats on the award by the way!! i saw in your sig, SO deserving!)

Ew don't be jealous I have no skill in this. I wrote it once before haha. And I agree Gellert is like asfjkhg Y U NO WRITE URSELF BRAH to be honest. He's so annoying. Aw, thank you, I am so glad you liked him and you have no clue how much it means because you are like level 948943394 in writing Gellert and the Dumbledores so how can I even compare.

OMG IT IS FLUFF, ISN'T IT. MUST STOP WRITING FLUFF.

srsly man this review is twisting my guts!!!

what what I am in like a pile of tomatoes sauce cause I be so red man. THANK YOUUU!!! ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #10, by nott theodore The Green Incident?

12th May 2014:
*pounces*

*hopes for first review and glares angrily at anyone who gets here first*

Nadia, how can you be so amazing? This story was just so beautifully told and you've done something with it that I never thought I'd see - make me ship Ariana and Gellert together! It's such an original pairing and I don't think I've seen them put together in a story before. This is unique!

You've done the second person so well for this challenge and it fits the story really well. There's a strange intensity in it, and I think by constantly using you it's like there's someone addressing Gellert and reminding him of all the mistakes he has made in his life, all focusing on the biggest one - Ariana.

Your characterisation of Gellert is fantastic, really. The side to him that's so manipulative comes through very strongly in this piece, especially when you're talking about his attitude towards Albus - the way that he knows Albus has deeper feelings for him and he plays along with that just to get what he wants. He's the ultimate manipulator and it's brilliant that you weren't afraid to bring that aspect of his character to the fore, even if it makes the reader like him a little less.

I really, really enjoyed the changes in tone in this one-shot, especially in the beginning which felt quite exciting, as Albus and Gellert were planning their domination (I know it's wrong, obviously, but the fact that you made it sound exciting was great because obviously that's the way that the two of them viewed it). And then later on, there was a lot more regret and it felt quite sorrowful and melancholy, which fit what we know about Gellert - and especially the fact that he showed remorse later on in life - at the end of his lifetime.

The descriptions of Ariana are brilliant. They're so subtle and yet you manage to capture her character with just a couple of words, a few sentences. I love the fact that Gellert doesn't think of her as beautiful and doesn't elevate her to status of perfection, as people often do - he sees her completely clearly, the way that she probably saw him. It actually reminds me a little of Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester (I might have just been reading the book) who can see each other's defects and still love.

Albus was a really well written character here as well, I thought. It was so interesting to see him in this stage of his life, because I don't think there are many stories examining it, and even fewer probably which aren't afraid to shed him in a darker light than usual. He knows what he's doing here, and that makes him seem even more human, which I think is exactly what the last book was intended to do. How ironic is it that as Albus is taking less and less notice of his sister, Gellert's attention to her is increasing? It's a very strange kind of love triangle but not a love triangle at the same time, because there's never anything more than feelings and emotions behind it all, if that makes sense.

The passage with the duel was fantastic, really. My favourite thing about it was how you left the ambiguity at the end - there was the flash of jealousy in Albus's eyes, and all three of them were duelling angrily - Gellert had even used the killing curse - but at the end of it we still aren't sure which of them it was who killed Ariana. And that's brilliant, because it fits so well with the books and for a change it made me want it not to be Gellert, as much as I don't want it to be Albus. (I apologise now, I know I'm rambling but brain is not working in English at all this week). The fact that guilt had remained with Gellert just as it had with Albus was very touching, even though their reactions to what had happened were so completely different and opposed.

The colours! I don't know why, but yellow just seemed to fit the whole mood of this story and I loved the way that you linked it in throughout the story, with the flower and then little mentions of it at different times. Afterwards, at the end, when you include that line:

'She should have called you green.'

Wow. Just wow. It all builds up with yellow being the constant reference point for Gellert and his story with Ariana, but at the end you bring in green and I realise of course it's much more fitting for Gellert to be green. Green's the colour of death and destruction after all, in the wizarding world, and the fact that you end the story with that colour and all the symbolism it evokes without attempting to further it, creates something extremely poignant and beautiful.

Well done, lovely. This was wonderful ♥

Author's Response: *punces on review response*

okay, so I am trying to be on top of these new reviews, and lessen my count because ughhh so much effort :(

Sian, how can YOU be so AMAZING??? Seriously, I love you. ♥

Aw, that's so sweet. You know how much I hated writing this, it hurt me a lot because it wouldn't write itself and gosh I do not have time :P I feel like I should rewrite it one day because there was that, you know that last scene with the Iris and she's in his dreams, well she wasn't supposed to be in his dreams that was supposed be an actual real life scene except I can't really explain it without writing it so let's just not :P

"The ultimate manipulator" LOL, I love that :P

I can imagine that at the beginning of this hallows stuff, they would be very excited and "yeah, let's do this!! partay in the houseee" but then they'd start getting bored and fed up and that was why it kind of started off yay and then went into nay...

Nope, she isn't beautiful. I have a problem with beautiful characters. And she's blonde so she can DEFINITELY not be pretty. I think she might be cute though. She's a kid I guess. I think when you're truly in love though, the person who loves you will think you're beautiful no matter what, and you'll be beautiful to them even if everyone else thinks you're ugly which is why whenever I write romance, my girls are always average or not very pretty. I find it a lot more powerful and it's something I believe in :)

So happy you though the whole attention for Ariana decreasing from Albus, increasing for Gellert was ironic. I like making things come to a full circle a lot because I'm cliche that way, so I do that a lot.

See, in my head, it was Gellert who did it. I like Aberofrth too much and don't want Albus to live with that and so for me, it's Gellert. I hinted at that in the very last bit of the letter. when he apologizes and says that it wasn't meant for her, or for anybody, really.

Haha, colours :P You said it's be cool to have a theme throughout so I tried to bring in the colours a bit more to do that. I seriously could not have done this without you.

Thank you for reviewing, Sian! ♥ It means so, so much to me! You say this piece is so good, but that's only because you and Lauren were super honest with me and gave great feedback, so like eighty percent of the work was you guys, I just wrote it :P

Thank you, thank you ♥


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