Reading Reviews for Nutshell
  
27 Reviews Found

Review #1, by alicia and anne one.

18th August 2015:
Ooo I can't wait to read more about her crush and how she's going to deal with it at school :D

Awww I love that Peter is in this! And that he's nice! YES!!! I hate when people forget him.

Oooo people thinking that Remus and Jodie are snogging?! I wonder if Remus made that joke because he wants to do some snogging? :P Their game is so cute! They totally secretly want each other :P I'm shipping in secret!

Awww poor Jodie! I am so glad that Remus is there to help her through this, he's a good guy.

I can't wait to see how this develops, and I wonder if James will ever find out?

I am so excited!!

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Review #2, by nutella five.

17th August 2015:
Love it!! Maybe Sirius can teach her how to forget about James and she can teach Sirius how to properly like someone else if you know what I mean ;) I'll be looking for your next update!

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Review #3, by MrHappyDreaming five.

14th August 2015:
UU new chapter! I;m really glad :D

SO now that Sirius knows operation "getting over James" begins :D I'm looking forward to the new chapter :)

PS. I don't know maybe it'll never happen but I kinda ship Jodie and Remus. I would love that :D

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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 four.

13th August 2015:
One last review for our swap/BvB Review Fest!

Ooh, the wedding nightmare is interesting to me because I don't really understand why it's a nightmare. I understand that Jodie likes James, but doesn't want to like him, so dreaming about marrying him must hurt. But I don't really see that as a nightmare? Was there something else that I might've missed that would make this seemingly-sweet dream into a nightmare? Anyway, it was really odd to me that she screamed when she woke up. I do like that she's having these dreams, though, because it does seem to get the plot going! (Although I feel bad for her that they're affecting her so much.)

It's really good of Remus to always check up on Jodie, especially since he heard through the grapevine (in the form of Lily, ironically) that Jodie was having bad dreams. Will she tell him about almost kissing James, I wonder?

One thing about the last paragraph in that section: Her relief was gone when he told her that he would get it out of her sooner or later.

I think you could actually add a sentence to Remus's dialogue before that, simply saying something like, "But we're going to be talking about this later." because I think that it fits well with what he's saying and then you can build on the disappearance of Jodie's relief once he's said it.

Ooh, and dare I forget THE PRANK?! I was very excited to see what they would come up with, and this didn't disappoint! Except this was actually quite a touching prank that didn't physically injure anyone, which is awesome! And I just hope that the Marauders had the decency not to bring up any memories that would seriously hurt anyone, because then it would sort of take a bad turn. But what you came up with is really creative! I like how some of the portraits are memories, and the ones of Sirius and James seem to simply be manifestations of themselves that are meant to insult passersby--much like the Marauders Map does. I'd still like to know which potions ingredients they used for this, though, and how they went about getting their memories onto picture frames. Maybe something to do with Dumbledore's Pensieve?

Ooh, and you can't leave me hanging like this! I need to know why Remus is enlisting Sirius's help! Is this going to be a fake dating fic? Because if so, OH MAN I AM EVEN MORE EXCITED! I LOVE fake dating fics! :D

Also, having Sirius's perspective for a bit in this chapter was nice because for all intents and purposes, it really does look like Jodie and Remus are sneaking around and getting up to some romantic times. (However, that's really not what's going on, silly Sirius!) I hope that their little meeting with him can clear some things up!

Please update soon! I'll look forward to reading the next chapter!

♥Mallory

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Review #5, by UnluckyStar57 three.

13th August 2015:
Hi again! Back for the remaining reviews from our swap and for the BvB Review Fest!

Ooh, so in this chapter Isobel really stands out because she's just trying to be a good friend to Jodie. I honestly don't think that the Marauders would be very good with dealing with Jodie's feelings, especially as it appears that none of them have ever had to do the unrequited love thing before. (Remus might be the exception, since Jodie chooses to confide in him in the beginning, but it's always better to have a few good listeners on your side!) I thought it was cool that Jodie chose to draw out her feelings on paper instead of talking, which would lessen Flitwick's suspicion, I think.

*wink wink nudge nudge* from Isobel to Jodie about the Sirius Black thing. I really have a feeling that Sirius is going to end up being more significant to Jodie than he is now, but Jodie's just so against even the slightest contemplation of his supposed "hotness." She's too into James, and I'm sorry, but I think that'll turn out really badly if she ever acts on her feelings. Unfortunately (and fortunately for me, since they're one of my OTPs), James is very much besotted with Lily at this point.

Hah, Lucas definitely has a crush on Isobel. But I think she should make him tone down on the teasing before she gives him a chance. It's true that some boys will pick on you when they like you, but that doesn't mean that it's okay to put up with it all the time, especially if the teasing goes too far.

Ooh, the prank! I think it would be really cool if you actually included the list of ingredients that Sirius and Jodie had to get--it would give me some clues about the potion they're going to make? I'd really like that, but you might've withheld the ingredients for Future Plot Reasons. :) Still, it's clear that Jodie has no idea what prank they're going to do, and it kind of sucks for her that she doesn't get to be in the know. Why would they do that--including her in the scheme, but not the actual carrying out of the prank? It seems like she's willing to help out and actually know what the prank is, but maybe James purposefully excludes her so that she doesn't get blamed for it? Maybe?

Anyway, there's one of the first interactions between Jodie and Sirius, and I have a feeling that they're going to be at odds for awhile during this story. They seem to be very competitive! It's too bad that Jodie accidentally stepped in the goo, though. Will Slughorn be able to identify her because of the shoe she left behind?

Really interesting chapter, and I hope the prank is in the next one!

♥Mallory

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Review #6, by UnluckyStar57 two.

12th August 2015:
{Back for our swap and the BvB Review Fest!}

Ah, the devious Sirius Black appears! Hah, I can totally picture him with a five o'clock shadow and a man bun, is that bad? He's so devilish, and he's kinda hot, and he knows it.

Now that I've seen more of Jodie's interactions with the Marauders, it strikes me as odd that she and Sirius aren't better acquainted. The other three obviously know her from tutoring, being friendly towards each other, and having her help out with pranks, but why hasn't Sirius done the same? I take back what I said--she isn't exactly "the fifth Marauder," because I think that to be a "true Marauder," you have to be in on basically everything. (I think Sirius thinks this too, which is why he doesn't think of her as a friend. Also, he's quite a little snot, which is both funny and makes me roll my eyes. Sirius Black, Drama Queen.) But it's cool that she gets to be in on the pranks, although it's kind of mean of the other guys to not tell her exactly what's going to happen with the pranks.

Oh man, James is quite besotted with Lily. Obsessing over the color and length of her hair? I'm afraid that Jodie won't have a chance with him (at least at this point in the story). The way she jumped when he accidentally nudged her was very interesting, because she basically feels the same way for James as he does for Lily, but she can't be as open about it, of course. I wonder how long she can play off her blushes and whispers as a "crush" on Remus?

I can't wait to see what their ingenious prank is going to be! I'll catch you tomorrow with your next two reviews. :D

♥Mallory

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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57 one.

12th August 2015:
Hi there! Here for our swap and the Ravenclaw BvB Review Fest. :D

Alright, so I didn't realize that this story was Marauders Era until I started reading (shame on me!), but now I'm really glad that it is! Despite my fervent love of Jily, I don't read Marauders as often as I should.

By the way...Are we throwing Jily out the window here? If only for a little while? I see you have James/OC listed as a pairing, and I'm interested to see how that'll happen. Maybe fake dating between Jodie and James while James tries to get Lily's attention? Aggh, I don't know and I'm really bad at guessing. But I'm really interested to see how Jodie's little crush will turn out!

A few questions: How does Jodie know that Remus Lupin is a lycanthrope? Are they just really close or something? And she mentioned being childhood pals with James--so does that mean she's a kind-of extra Marauder? If so, does she have an Animagus form? (Sorry if so many questions at once is overwhelming, they just keep coming to me!)

It really makes a lot of sense to me that Jodie would go to Remus for help with this problematic crush, because Remus is easily the most levelheaded of the Marauders in my opinion (although I can imagine that he has his moments of irrationality). Haha, but the "You could have a crush on Sirius" line makes me think that you're foreshadowing that Jodie might eventually develop a crush on the devious Sirius Black? Whatever purpose that line might serve, it made me laugh a little bit. :D

It's really no good that Jodie has had a bad summer, but I wonder if it's because of more than just an inconvenient crush? I can't wait to dig deeper into her character, because I think there's going to be so much that'll be interesting and surprising about her. For now, I'm hoping that she'll eventually reveal the full rundown of her bad summer. (Is that mean of me? I mean, I don't want her to be unhappy, but I just think there's more there than just a crush on James Potter. That's all!)

Really great first chapter! I'm going to R&R the next one tonight, and then I'll catch you tomorrow for the last two. :D

♥Mallory

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Review #8, by tangledconstellations one.

28th July 2015:
Hey there!

I'm here with your requested review from the forums! Thank you loads for posting in my thread, I was super excited to read this and thought it was a great first chapter! ♥

Your main area of concern was the use of the third person past tense, so I thought I would begin with some general tips - I don't think you need to worry too much though, cos to me it seems as though you've got this down! I didn't notice any major errors with this at all. I think the most important thing to remember when writing in this tense is that it's best to show rather than tell. To me, it's a lot more effective and it lets the reader remain in that observer-like position. When you're writing in the present, and also from a different perspective for that matter, you can sort of get away with being more direct with how a character is feeling. But with the past tense, and in third person at that, its your job as the writer to weave actions and reactions in convincingly, in a way that they can be observed by the narrator telling the story, and thus the reader. I really like third person/past tense because I feel like it lets you choose how exactly you tell your story a lot more carefully. In a way you have more hoops to jump through because as an observer things might be less immediate and so you need to choose your words carefully in order to convey info - but that's where you can start getting crafty with your writing. This chapter was written well with third person/past tense, so I think basically keep doing what you're doing and you'll be a-okay! :)

As for plot/characters, this was a really good introduction for the story to come. I have a real idea of the character of Jodie, the kind of person she is/might be, and I think your individual characterisation of the Marauders is great! It's so cool to see you moulding them into sort-of new characters. Not only that, but the initial circumstance you've set up here is really intriguing! I've never read a James/OC before, and even though at the moment I feel like things might not work well for the two of them (I mean after all, Jodie KNOWS her feelings for James = trouble!) I'm really excited to see where you're going to take this! My only CC is to not be afraid to pad this chapter out with more description. It's clear so far that your strengths definitely lie in the characters and the plot, for sure. The dialogue between characters is so good and feels so realistic, and the way you actually describe the characters talking, moving etc - their general actions and facial expressions - is also really strong! The set-up for this fic is original and interesting, too. The only thing that felt a little lacking was settings descriptions, and this could be easily oomphed just to add a jazzy backdrop to the things your characters were doing. But this is just a small thing, and the more your tone develops and you get into the swing of this fic (I saw in your authors note you're going with the flow with this fic as opposed to planning - good move! I really think this helps a lot with developing individual style) the more this may change and gradually develop.

This was a really good first chapter and I'm excited for what else is to come! Let me know if there was anything in this review that was unclear and we can go over it - but if not, feel free to rerequest! Thanks for sharing your story with me! :D

Laura xxx

Author's Response: Hi Laura!

I actually read you review a few times when writing the next chapter (the fifth one) of this story but alas, I take forever with responses. Sorry about that!

I'm slowly getting used to third person. I even wrote a one-shot recently in that pov and tense and I think I'm more comfortable with it now. I definitely understand when you say it's more effective which I've come to realize. And show rather than tell... got it. I'm glad that the chapter was written okay and there aren't many obvious mistakes concerning the point of view and past tense! Thinking of third person as being an observer really helps... I'll definitely keep that piece of advice with me!

The chapter was a short one so I wasn't sure if you could get the feel of characters yet, but I'm happy to hear that you can see their individual characterizations already. I haven't seen many James I/OCs and I think that's what prompted me to write one. Though, you are right about it not working well between the two of them since I'm still sticking to canon. Description has always been a weak point but I will try to work on it. I'll probably go back through this chapter and see where I can add more setting description in. Thank you for pointing that out!

Nothing in this review was unclear so no worries! Your reviewing style is different from many I've requested from and I think it speaks out to me more. Thank you so much taking the time to read the chapter and write out this review! Not only did you address my concerns but gave me thorough advice and thoughts on each of them. I'll probably rerequest soon and thank you again!!

~Sama


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Review #9, by iridescent two.

24th July 2015:
short review, but i really really love the way you're portraying the characters! they're so so relatable and props to you for writing peter in a non-biased way! that's something that i've seen mangled before, i'm so glad that you aren't doing that. also, i love the way that you individualized each character! it really makes them all stand out, and i loved that quote about the marauders' trademark smile- James's was his mischievous grin, Peter's was his shy smile, Remus's was the twitch of his lips that made your heart melt (well, that's what all the girls said), and Sirius's was his devious smirk (she heard this from his fangirls). it just says so much about their personality, and a bit about jodie's as well!

(and also i noticed that the first ship was jily and the fact that sirius refuses to call jodie by her first name- is that hinting at something?? *wink wink*)

-ellie ☾

Author's Response: i love reviews in all sizes so that's definitely alright. it's always good to hear that the characters are relatable. that's always the goal so yay! i think it helps if you don't think about what peter ended up doing to james and lily... that's really the only way you can write him in a non-biased way. yes the maraurders' trademark smiles! i thought it would individualize them as well as show how different sirius is in jodie's eyes.

you're really observant. hmm... there is sirius/oc down as one of the ships in this story so maybe sirius calling jodie by her last name is hinting at something...

thank you for stopping by again! i love hearing from you!

~Sama


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Review #10, by blackballet one.

23rd July 2015:
This seems like it is going to be so adorable! I can't wait to see where it goes.

blackballet

Author's Response: Hi, blackballet! I think I remember you leaving me a few reviews on some of my other stories so it's great to hear from you again. It will be adorable due to the Marauders being in the story (all four of them are adorable themselves) but also some angst because of Jodie's feelings. thank you for taking the time to drop me a line! Really appreciate it!

~Sama


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Review #11, by iridescent one.

22nd July 2015:
aah it's a james/oc! i haven't seen these in ages (just ignore the avid jily shipper in my mind)~
at first, i just looked at it because oh, it was a james/oc but then i started to read it and oh my god.
this is so well written it makes me cry, because you should give me some of your talent.
like really.

and one thing that i really really like about this so far is that peter is actually liked i've read a lot of fics where he's just the one that everyone hates, that no one really knows why he's there, that the other three don't even like him that much. but here, you've written that some people find his shy-and-nervous thing sweet and adorable, and that just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, because peter really gets a bad rep (even though he did betray james and lily MY OTP)

and the not telling james thing- i sense lots and lots of angst in it! and i eat angst for breakfast (here i would insert my devil emoji but i can't cry) plus i have a feeling it's all going to go wrong so that's always fun!

the oatmeal and fruit loops analogy made me laugh- i happened to be eating fruit loops as i read it :D

all in all, this was an amazing read so far, especially since james ends up with lily, and all that can spell is h-e-a-r-t-b-r-e-a-k for jodie (insert broken heart emoji) i'll definitely be coming back to review!

-ellie ☾

Author's Response: hello ellie!

is it a james/oc? who knows? it's alright, i'm an avid jily shipper as well. they're my otp actually. should i feel guilty for sort of going against that?

you are too sweet! i'm glad that you think this is well written. this story is so unplanned that i feel like the writing quality isn't too good. and i don't think you need any of my non-existent talent. ;) i've read you next gen story and think you have plenty!

for some reason, i've never been able to hate peter. obviously, i don't like him either but i honestly feel like he just made a bunch of poor decisions out of fear. and if they were the four marauders i can't see the rest of them not liking him, you know? i also think peter brings out jodie's kind side.

jodie is going to try really hard to make sure james doesn't find out and with that will come angst. is it bad that i like putting my characters into uncomfortable situations? it's always fun to see how they deal with it... even as a writer.

cereal was and is still a big part of me. that simile sort of just fell into place. and fruits loops are so colorful and yummy!

thank you for the absolutely lovely review! it really made me smile so thank you again! and i look forward to hearing from you again. :D

~Sama


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Review #12, by MelanyBrit four.

22nd July 2015:
I'm really excited to see what happens next! This is very well written and interesting, and I hope you update soon! The ending of Chapter 4 definitely leaves me wanting more, so I hope the wait won't be too long. Good work. :)

Author's Response: And I'm really excited to write what happens next! It's great to hear that you think this story is interesting! I will try my best to update soon. I'm pretty sure the next chapter will be up somewhere in August. Thank you for taking the time to leave your kinds words!

~Sama


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Review #13, by MrHappyDreaming four.

22nd July 2015:
Hey :D
I just started reading your story today but I really enjoy it :) It's interesting and every character seems to have some depth and backgroung story :)
I really like James in this :D
I kinda ship Jodie and Remulus but I sens some Sirius&Jodie romance... not that I'm complaining ;p

Author's Response: Hello! Ah, I'm immensely happy that you like the story and James! Jodie and Remus would make a cute couple I think, but you sense right that this will end up being more of a Sirius/Jodie. But you will see a lot of Remus and Jodie friendship so look out for that. Thank you for taking the time to leave a review! I love hearing from readers and I loved reading your thoughts on the story!

~Sama


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Review #14, by The Basilisk one.

24th March 2015:
Hello! It'sss I: the Basssilisssk. Jusst out for a sstroll. Getting to know ssome other characterss, y'know? Ssee a few new ssights. Under a tap faucet isn't the most fassscinating place.

Anyway, I really liked this chapter! Gosh, though. By the time I finished this chapter I was panicking about all the things that could go wrong in the already-tumultuous relationship of James and Jodie. (Do they have a ship name? I feel like they need a ship name) Seriously, angst is so much fun, but gives me so much second hand embarrassment. And the part about "No James finding out," I can already tell isn't going to go as planned and can only hope that the line isn't foreshadowing for some major disaster. :P

But anyway, my own personal ramblingss aside: thiss was a great first chapter - I can't wait to read more. Thanksss for the wonderful read, Sama.

(I've decided to post 44 reviews over the next little while. Each one of them has a character at the bottom. If you can find all 44 reviews (not all are out yet, so keep your eyes peeled) and rearrange the letters into a quote from Harry Potter and PM it to WriteYourHeartOut on the forums you could win a donation to HPFF in your name! There's a topic in the Off Topic Section if you want to collaborate your efforts!)

Thankss again,
The Basilissk

H

Author's Response: Hello! Being under a tap faucet doesn't seem that fascinating. Funny, I had a friend go down there years ago and never come out. ;)

You and Jodie both are panicking so you are in the same boat, now worries. I never actually thought about a ship name. Jadie? Jomes? Oh wait maybe it would be Jamie. I'm going to stick to Jamie.

James will find out sadly, it's inevitable. Should I make it a disaster or not is the question.

I actually thought it was a shoddy first chapter and have been thinking about rewriting it but you give me hope haha.

I think I'm a bit to late for riddle part but thank you so much for your review! I had a great time reading it. I hope to see you Slytherin (like slithering, get it?) around some time soon.

~Sama :D


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Review #15, by ladyrae three.

10th August 2014:
I'm liking this story so far. Sirius will find out in the next chapter, I think, mainly due to the summary for this story. I have no clue what erinaceous means, and to say I did when really I just google it feels like cheating to me, so I'll be honest.

I thought this was a good chapter, and I really like how you're developing the characters so far. Can't wait to see where it goes!

Author's Response: Yeah Sirius finding out was a little obvious, wasn't it? Erinaceous means to be like a hedgehog so when the guy called told his date she was erinaceous, he basically told her she reminds him of a hedgehog, lol.

I'm glad you thought this was a good chapter. To be honest I thought I could have done better with this chapter but your review made me smile.

Thanks,
~Sama


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Review #16, by justreading two.

1st August 2014:
I really like it so far. Especially your storytelling and how you are portraying the characters.
Please don't forget to upload chapter 3 soon! It has been a while since the last one and I can't wait to know what happens next :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the sweet review! I always try to write relatable yet lovable characters and I'm happy you like them. It has been some time since I updated. I'm so sorry about that! I'm working on the chapter right now. At the moment I have a chapter of another story in the que but after that one I'll put chapter 3 in the que.

~Sama


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Review #17, by maryhead one.

25th June 2014:
Hi! I am here for... well, I am here for the review you requested... ehr... a month ago? Urgh, I am so sorry for the wait... Real Life paid a visit, and I couldn't ignore it.

Anyway, let's review this chapter, shall we?

So, the beginning of the story sounds pretty interesting! Of course, this is only the introduction I guess, and you began it in a very classical way, with the train, the parents saying goodbye and all the rest, but still I was intrigued enough to be willing to read further.

Your style is straightforward and easy to read. Apart from the first couple of lines you didn't dwell too much on the description of the setting, which is fine, considering this part was set on a train and, well... There isn't much to say about trains, is it ;)? However, it would be great if in the next updates you could try to depict the general atmosphere, landscape or rooms with a higher degree of detail. It helps the reader to mentally depict the scene he/she is reading about :).

Jodie looks like an interesting OC! She is the image of a typical teenager, so deeply overwhelmed by the thought of her crush that she's unable to concentrate on something else. I liked the way Remus tried to help her putting her problem into perspective, but at the same time showed his kind and gentle side. It was just so... Remus! The little banter between the two was well written and fun to read too.

I would just like to make a little note about the scene in which Jodie enters the boys' compartment. It was a bit... off. First of all, you included Sirius in the scene, but I personally think it wasn't really necessary, since he didn't say anything or participate in the interaction in any way. Since you mentioned in the notes that his character will be introduced in the next chapter, you could have just wrote that he was... wherever James was at the moment of Jodie's entrance. Moreover, Jodie's comment about her need to talk to Remus is a bit blunt. She didn't even say "hi" to him, after a summer spent away from him... I don't know, surely it's just my impression, but those lines did not entirely convince me.

Apart from this detail, I overall liked the chapter, and I will be more than happy to comment further, if you decided to re-request, of course!

Author's Response: Setting and imagery aren't really my strong points so I guess that's why I tend to avoid it. :P But you are absolutely right and I'll try and work on description in coming chapters. Maybe it'll grow on me? Okay, it probably won't... but we'll see.

Jodie is interesting? I thought she turned out kind of bland but yay, you think she is interesting! Remus is a sweetie, I love writing him. He's the character that kind of holds her down.

I think I jumped to quickly into the start of the plot. I'm going to go back and edit that part. Thanks so much for pointing that out!

Thanks for taking the time to come give some feedback. *hugs* I'll probably re-request if your topic is still open.

~Sama :)


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Review #18, by newgenerationlover two.

17th May 2014:
Hello, here for your requested review!

Well, you have done it again! (That is make another story that has left me completely hooked.) I am so torn between wanting you to update this story first or Crossing the Borderline.

Now, to this story. I really like how you make characters that are totally original down to their mannerisms. Even if you are doing the marauders, who are such classic character, you have put little spins on them to make this story unique within the other thousand marauder stories. For instance, having Peter even just being a likable character is a breath of fresh air! Peter is such a hard character to write- probably at least, I have never really tried myself though- because all us potterheads have such strong feelings of resentment towards him, but he can't have always been like that if he had been in the marauders at one point. Yes, he seems to be the lesser marauder, but he is still a part of the group and a likable character which is so great, so good job!

You have done a great job developing your characters so far. In the first chapter, the reader sort of sees Jodie as just this typical girl with a typical crush, but then we see her stronger characteristics in this chapter. How she is trying to not be one of the masses who has a crush on James, how she is a part of the marauders but not really, how she is trying to make the best out of a situation that is not ideal. She has a good sense of humor that she has shown and I already quite like her!

This storyline is very intriguing. I have yet to read another story like this. I can't wait to see if she will get over james and if she does, how she achieves that. I haven't even seen anything that is not working about this story yet which is a feat of achievement in itself. You have done a great job so far with this story, keep it up!

Mary

Author's Response: Hi Mary! It's great to hear from you again!

In most fics Peter is portrayed kind of mousy and with virtually no backbone which I find a little sad. I don't like his actions in the Harry Potter books but he was a Marauder right? He had to be a little likable at some point, right? So I kind of portrayed him as this semisweet, I-don't-mean-any-harm character even though he ends up far from that. But I'm still going to give him some of the qualities we know him as like how he is more of a follower than a leader.

I'm so, so, so glad you like Jodie! I really thought she turned out kind of bland and Mary-Sue-ish. She hangs around the Marauders a lot because she isn't very good at making friends with girls. And her best friend that's a girl is in Hufflepuff so she doesn't see her as much. She has known James for some time so humor had to rub off on her, right? :P

Nothing is not working? That's great! And I cannot tell you how happy I am that you like the storyline!

Thanks for the wonderful review! I hope to hear more from you and thanks again for being so squee-worthy nice.

~Sama


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Review #19, by gryffindorlion15 two.

7th May 2014:
i love this story! please update soon :)

Author's Response: thank you... that means so much to hear! And I'll try my best to update... maybe in the next week or two?

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Review #20, by Veritaserum27 one.

4th May 2014:
Hello!

Here for BvB review battle!

This is a different take on the marauders. I like the idea of an OC, because we already know what happens to all of the canon characters, even the minor ones, so this is very original. At first, I was a little confused because James obviously ends up with Lily so that can only spell disappointment for Jodie. However, I think you've put in enough mystery to make the reader want to know more. What is Jodie's plan to get over James? How is Remus supposed to help her? How are they going to make sure James never finds out? And, of course, what role does Sirius play?

I think you've done a great job with the dialogue. It was easy to read and you've kept true to Remus's character - loyal, honest and blunt at times. I also like your descriptions of Jodie's love life - like oatmeal and now like Fruit Loops. It is a very good comparison to falling for someone for the first time!

Nice job!

Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: OCs, I think, are a little more safe since they don't have to meet up to an expectation like canon characters do. That and because you have the freedom to come up with a back story for them and all that jazz.

I am stickler for canon so yeah... no matter what happens James will end up with Lily. Jodie's plan? Well, I don't think she actually knows what her 'plan' is. She hasn't really thought that far. Remus is going to be her bunny, her stress ball, her rock that keeps her connected to reality. Basically what all friends are. And Sirius' role... it will come out later... I can't reveal everything, can I?

I've done well with dialogue? Thank you so much. This makes me really happy since I rely heavily on dialogue, mostly because description isn't really my strongest point. And in reference to the oatmeal and Fruit Loops simile - when in doubt use cereal. :)

Thank you Beth for being so kind! I will definitely cherish this review!!

~Sama


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Review #21, by Leonore one.

4th May 2014:
Hi! Here from RRT

Nice start, straight in to the story. Not the kind of thing I'd click on usually, but that's the nice thing about review tag: you read all kinds of things you wouldn't normally.

Caught this one: imperial height written: 5'6" (You have a comma between them - probably just a typo!)

I'm not sure what I think of Jodie. Very bold, probably not the kind of girl I'd get on with, I could imagine her being a bit unpopular (she doesn't seem to care about other people's feelings) and her friends put up with her because they're nice. But it's hard to get a picture in one chapter :)

Not much to say. Nicely written, good first chapter, so long as Jodie doesn't turn into a Mary-Sue (I'm sure she won't), you've got the makings of a great story! (especially for those who love marauders and romance)

- Leonore

Author's Response: Hi!

Jodie is bold, hence why she is a Gryffindor. But she is actually more on the average side at times which will probably come out in later chapters. You are right, she isn't very popular but that is because she doesn't stand out compared to everyone else. Hmmm... I get what you mean when you say she doesn't seem to care about other's feelings since I put somewhere that she didn't care of what other's thought. I actually meant that she wasn't big on caring about how other people thought of her with the exception of the ones she cares about.

Oh, thank you for catching that apostrophe! And I will try my best to not make Jodie become a Mary-Sue. :) Thank you so much for the feedback, it made me think more in depth about my character.

~Sama


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Review #22, by 800 words of heaven one.

25th April 2014:
REVIEW SWAP!

Oh! A Marauders story! One of my faves! A fluffy Marauders story full of Sirius Black and fun - even better. How on earth could I possibly resist?

Ah, poor Jodie! Having crushes is horrible sometimes, and it's even worse when it's your childhood friend who is almost certainly in love with someone else. Jodie is doing exactly what I would do - try and get over it with minimum fuss and bother.

Remus is just such a good friend. There has never been a fic where Remus has not been just a super amazing friend to practically everyone and their dog [insert Sirius-related joke here]. I'm looking forward to seeing how amazing a friend Remus continues to be throughout this story. Obviously, I am only now reading this for Remus' awesome friendship skills :P

And we get to meet the notorious Sirius Black in the next chapter? Woohoo! I think I'm already in love!

Happy writing for the next chapter (and beyond). I've taken the "go with the flow" approach to writing chapters in one of my WIPs (incidentally, it is a Sirius/OC... coincidence? I THINK SO.) and it's quite a liberating experience. You never know where your story will end up, and whilst that can be quite daunting, it is also terribly exciting. Best wishes :)

Author's Response: The Marauders are the best! How could I resist writing them? :P Though I don't think it may turn out fluffy... though fluffy Sirius Black stories are great.

Jodie... she is in quite a nuthshell. ;) (see what I did there?) She values friendship over her crush for him. I think that is why I love this era... so much loyalty and friendship and at the same time betrayal and danger.

Remyyy... lol, I should never call him that again. Remus is usually characterized as a good friend and I always picture him that way so I guess that's why his personality is like that in this story. And I totally got that Sirius joke haha!

The "go with the flow" thing is new but I'm excited for it! :D Thanks for the best wishes and for the lovely review! And now I have a fic I must check out (your Sirius/OC).

~Sama


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Review #23, by Iellwen one.

24th April 2014:
Hi there, review swap! :)

So after this greatly awesome introduction chapter, I can't help but think Remus may have a patient but humongous crush on Jodie. :D
Maybe I'm over-thinking this, but since this is in Jodie's perspective there might be a few hints here and there she didn't pick up on^^

I love Jodie, she seems like a strong, down-to-earth gal, strong enough to lie to nervous nillies like Peter so as to not worry them, even if she dislikes lying (and that's an alluring trait^^). So far I think she's a smart, kind girl, self-aware and a perfect Gryffindor. :D
I love that she sees the adorable side of Peter's awkwardness!

It's great you had Remus point out the good in James Potter even though she wants to get over him, showing what a true friend he'll always be to James.
I loved how Remus waited for her voice to break! Have they gone through so much already? Has he helped her get over crushes before? ^^

I'm really looking forward to finding out more and to meet the devious Sirius and the talked-about James! And Isobel! :D
I'd love to swap again! In the meantime, this baby goes on my reading list!

*Gee

Author's Response: Hehe no... Remus actually doesn't have a crush on her (though if I was Jodie, I would wish he had a crush on me, but then that is probably because I love Remus). I could see them working out though if they did end up together. ^_^

Yay, you like Jodie! Gryffindors are a bit hard to write since I usually don't write them but she's really fun to write. And yes she hates lying. And Peter is usually left out in most fics so I guess that is why I made him likable and not ignored.

Remus is loyal... that's why he is such a great friend. And it was his instincts that told him that her voice would crack. Yes, he's known about her past crushes but they never were as serious as this one.

Yes, Sirius and James is in the next chapter (which is actually in the que) and you get to meet Isobel in chapter three. Thanks so much for the terrific review! I think this review is my fav out of all the ones I recieved on my story. And I'd definitely be up for review swapping again! :D

~Sama


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Review #24, by WeasleyTwins one.

24th April 2014:
Hello darling! Here for a review swap (review swaps via statuses are the best!)

Okay, so I find it very intriguing that Jodie is characterized as a liar, even though she hates to do so. Oftentimes in fanfiction, the main characters have all these wonderful qualities, but never seem to have any flaws. And those flaws always seem to be inconsequential, ridiculous flaws that really hold no meaning to their personality/characterization. However, Jodie is well aware that she's a liar and although she doesn't flaunt it, the fact that she admits it is fascinating. I really like that in a character. I like realistic.

I also like her name: Jodie. It's so normal and realistic. Many fanfiction characters use off-the-wall names like Octavia and when, as a reader, you see these crazy names over and over, it gets to be a cliche. So, anyway, I like your choice of name. It's refreshing.

Oh, I also love the simile about her love life being like oatmeal and then Fruit Loops. That was cute and unique and made me laugh.

Overall, I like the start of this story! It was a good read! :)

Shelby

Author's Response: Shelby! Review swaps are the best haha.

Yes, Jodie isn't always the most honest though she tries to be. Hehe, yes, flaws are necessary to every character, Without one, a character seems flat, in my opinion that is. You find her fascinating? That's a first I've heard but I love it!

Her name... it was so hard to find one for her. I kept searching through lists of baby names and common British girl names and then I saw Jodie and I was like 'yup, that's her.' And not everyone is blessed with a unique name... some of us are stuck with the common ones, but those ones are the most fun to play with, don't you think?

I think the simile of oatmeal and Fruit Loops tells a lot about me... that I eat a lot of cereal. I was hoping someone would catch that, I think you are one of the only ones. :)

I tremendously loved reading this so thank you for review swapping with me. ^_^

~Sama


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Review #25, by newgenerationlover one.

23rd April 2014:
Hi, here from the review swap!

This is a great start! Even though we haven't seen much of Jodie yet, I already love her! She seems like a very strong character with a great sense of humor that isn't described in a cliched way. (Sorry, that was a very bad description but I'm guessing you know what I mean if you have spent any time reading stories from the humor page of this site haha).

I really enjoyed your portrayal of Remus. Its really hard to give characters your own voice when they already have a canon one, but you have done an excellent job! Most make Remus either too shy and scared of his own "furry little problem," or they make him too much like James and Sirius without any respect to his regard for the rules or doing the right thing. You have made him with the perfect mix of the two aspects.

I didn't notice any grammatical issues. I really can't wait to read more. Great job!

Author's Response: Hello! First chapters are always scary and getting feedback is always... scarier but your review is very kind!

And no, that was definitely not a bad description at all... I totally got that. And I'm super happy that you liked Jodie. She's different from what I usually write since.

Haha Remus is a babe but writing him is a little risky since he is canon. I'm glad you thought I wrote him well. I don't like it when people make him like Sirius and James because he really isn't like them so that's probably why I went a different way. :)

Thank you so much for the awesomely awesome review. I'm happy we did this review swap and thanks for the positive feedback. :D

~Sama


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