Reading Reviews for Nutshell
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ladyrae three.

10th August 2014:
I'm liking this story so far. Sirius will find out in the next chapter, I think, mainly due to the summary for this story. I have no clue what erinaceous means, and to say I did when really I just google it feels like cheating to me, so I'll be honest.

I thought this was a good chapter, and I really like how you're developing the characters so far. Can't wait to see where it goes!

Author's Response: Yeah Sirius finding out was a little obvious, wasn't it? Erinaceous means to be like a hedgehog so when the guy called told his date she was erinaceous, he basically told her she reminds him of a hedgehog, lol.

I'm glad you thought this was a good chapter. To be honest I thought I could have done better with this chapter but your review made me smile.

Thanks,
~Sama


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Review #2, by justreading two.

1st August 2014:
I really like it so far. Especially your storytelling and how you are portraying the characters.
Please don't forget to upload chapter 3 soon! It has been a while since the last one and I can't wait to know what happens next :)

Author's Response: Thank you for the sweet review! I always try to write relatable yet lovable characters and I'm happy you like them. It has been some time since I updated. I'm so sorry about that! I'm working on the chapter right now. At the moment I have a chapter of another story in the que but after that one I'll put chapter 3 in the que.

~Sama


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Review #3, by maryhead one.

25th June 2014:
Hi! I am here for... well, I am here for the review you requested... ehr... a month ago? Urgh, I am so sorry for the wait... Real Life paid a visit, and I couldn't ignore it.

Anyway, let's review this chapter, shall we?

So, the beginning of the story sounds pretty interesting! Of course, this is only the introduction I guess, and you began it in a very classical way, with the train, the parents saying goodbye and all the rest, but still I was intrigued enough to be willing to read further.

Your style is straightforward and easy to read. Apart from the first couple of lines you didn't dwell too much on the description of the setting, which is fine, considering this part was set on a train and, well... There isn't much to say about trains, is it ;)? However, it would be great if in the next updates you could try to depict the general atmosphere, landscape or rooms with a higher degree of detail. It helps the reader to mentally depict the scene he/she is reading about :).

Jodie looks like an interesting OC! She is the image of a typical teenager, so deeply overwhelmed by the thought of her crush that she's unable to concentrate on something else. I liked the way Remus tried to help her putting her problem into perspective, but at the same time showed his kind and gentle side. It was just so... Remus! The little banter between the two was well written and fun to read too.

I would just like to make a little note about the scene in which Jodie enters the boys' compartment. It was a bit... off. First of all, you included Sirius in the scene, but I personally think it wasn't really necessary, since he didn't say anything or participate in the interaction in any way. Since you mentioned in the notes that his character will be introduced in the next chapter, you could have just wrote that he was... wherever James was at the moment of Jodie's entrance. Moreover, Jodie's comment about her need to talk to Remus is a bit blunt. She didn't even say "hi" to him, after a summer spent away from him... I don't know, surely it's just my impression, but those lines did not entirely convince me.

Apart from this detail, I overall liked the chapter, and I will be more than happy to comment further, if you decided to re-request, of course!

Author's Response: Setting and imagery aren't really my strong points so I guess that's why I tend to avoid it. :P But you are absolutely right and I'll try and work on description in coming chapters. Maybe it'll grow on me? Okay, it probably won't... but we'll see.

Jodie is interesting? I thought she turned out kind of bland but yay, you think she is interesting! Remus is a sweetie, I love writing him. He's the character that kind of holds her down.

I think I jumped to quickly into the start of the plot. I'm going to go back and edit that part. Thanks so much for pointing that out!

Thanks for taking the time to come give some feedback. *hugs* I'll probably re-request if your topic is still open.

~Sama :)


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Review #4, by newgenerationlover two.

17th May 2014:
Hello, here for your requested review!

Well, you have done it again! (That is make another story that has left me completely hooked.) I am so torn between wanting you to update this story first or Crossing the Borderline.

Now, to this story. I really like how you make characters that are totally original down to their mannerisms. Even if you are doing the marauders, who are such classic character, you have put little spins on them to make this story unique within the other thousand marauder stories. For instance, having Peter even just being a likable character is a breath of fresh air! Peter is such a hard character to write- probably at least, I have never really tried myself though- because all us potterheads have such strong feelings of resentment towards him, but he can't have always been like that if he had been in the marauders at one point. Yes, he seems to be the lesser marauder, but he is still a part of the group and a likable character which is so great, so good job!

You have done a great job developing your characters so far. In the first chapter, the reader sort of sees Jodie as just this typical girl with a typical crush, but then we see her stronger characteristics in this chapter. How she is trying to not be one of the masses who has a crush on James, how she is a part of the marauders but not really, how she is trying to make the best out of a situation that is not ideal. She has a good sense of humor that she has shown and I already quite like her!

This storyline is very intriguing. I have yet to read another story like this. I can't wait to see if she will get over james and if she does, how she achieves that. I haven't even seen anything that is not working about this story yet which is a feat of achievement in itself. You have done a great job so far with this story, keep it up!

Mary

Author's Response: Hi Mary! It's great to hear from you again!

In most fics Peter is portrayed kind of mousy and with virtually no backbone which I find a little sad. I don't like his actions in the Harry Potter books but he was a Marauder right? He had to be a little likable at some point, right? So I kind of portrayed him as this semisweet, I-don't-mean-any-harm character even though he ends up far from that. But I'm still going to give him some of the qualities we know him as like how he is more of a follower than a leader.

I'm so, so, so glad you like Jodie! I really thought she turned out kind of bland and Mary-Sue-ish. She hangs around the Marauders a lot because she isn't very good at making friends with girls. And her best friend that's a girl is in Hufflepuff so she doesn't see her as much. She has known James for some time so humor had to rub off on her, right? :P

Nothing is not working? That's great! And I cannot tell you how happy I am that you like the storyline!

Thanks for the wonderful review! I hope to hear more from you and thanks again for being so squee-worthy nice.

~Sama


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Review #5, by gryffindorlion15 two.

7th May 2014:
i love this story! please update soon :)

Author's Response: thank you... that means so much to hear! And I'll try my best to update... maybe in the next week or two?

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Review #6, by Veritaserum27 one.

4th May 2014:
Hello!

Here for BvB review battle!

This is a different take on the marauders. I like the idea of an OC, because we already know what happens to all of the canon characters, even the minor ones, so this is very original. At first, I was a little confused because James obviously ends up with Lily so that can only spell disappointment for Jodie. However, I think you've put in enough mystery to make the reader want to know more. What is Jodie's plan to get over James? How is Remus supposed to help her? How are they going to make sure James never finds out? And, of course, what role does Sirius play?

I think you've done a great job with the dialogue. It was easy to read and you've kept true to Remus's character - loyal, honest and blunt at times. I also like your descriptions of Jodie's love life - like oatmeal and now like Fruit Loops. It is a very good comparison to falling for someone for the first time!

Nice job!

Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: OCs, I think, are a little more safe since they don't have to meet up to an expectation like canon characters do. That and because you have the freedom to come up with a back story for them and all that jazz.

I am stickler for canon so yeah... no matter what happens James will end up with Lily. Jodie's plan? Well, I don't think she actually knows what her 'plan' is. She hasn't really thought that far. Remus is going to be her bunny, her stress ball, her rock that keeps her connected to reality. Basically what all friends are. And Sirius' role... it will come out later... I can't reveal everything, can I?

I've done well with dialogue? Thank you so much. This makes me really happy since I rely heavily on dialogue, mostly because description isn't really my strongest point. And in reference to the oatmeal and Fruit Loops simile - when in doubt use cereal. :)

Thank you Beth for being so kind! I will definitely cherish this review!!

~Sama


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Review #7, by Leonore one.

4th May 2014:
Hi! Here from RRT

Nice start, straight in to the story. Not the kind of thing I'd click on usually, but that's the nice thing about review tag: you read all kinds of things you wouldn't normally.

Caught this one: imperial height written: 5'6" (You have a comma between them - probably just a typo!)

I'm not sure what I think of Jodie. Very bold, probably not the kind of girl I'd get on with, I could imagine her being a bit unpopular (she doesn't seem to care about other people's feelings) and her friends put up with her because they're nice. But it's hard to get a picture in one chapter :)

Not much to say. Nicely written, good first chapter, so long as Jodie doesn't turn into a Mary-Sue (I'm sure she won't), you've got the makings of a great story! (especially for those who love marauders and romance)

- Leonore

Author's Response: Hi!

Jodie is bold, hence why she is a Gryffindor. But she is actually more on the average side at times which will probably come out in later chapters. You are right, she isn't very popular but that is because she doesn't stand out compared to everyone else. Hmmm... I get what you mean when you say she doesn't seem to care about other's feelings since I put somewhere that she didn't care of what other's thought. I actually meant that she wasn't big on caring about how other people thought of her with the exception of the ones she cares about.

Oh, thank you for catching that apostrophe! And I will try my best to not make Jodie become a Mary-Sue. :) Thank you so much for the feedback, it made me think more in depth about my character.

~Sama


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Review #8, by 800 words of heaven one.

25th April 2014:
REVIEW SWAP!

Oh! A Marauders story! One of my faves! A fluffy Marauders story full of Sirius Black and fun - even better. How on earth could I possibly resist?

Ah, poor Jodie! Having crushes is horrible sometimes, and it's even worse when it's your childhood friend who is almost certainly in love with someone else. Jodie is doing exactly what I would do - try and get over it with minimum fuss and bother.

Remus is just such a good friend. There has never been a fic where Remus has not been just a super amazing friend to practically everyone and their dog [insert Sirius-related joke here]. I'm looking forward to seeing how amazing a friend Remus continues to be throughout this story. Obviously, I am only now reading this for Remus' awesome friendship skills :P

And we get to meet the notorious Sirius Black in the next chapter? Woohoo! I think I'm already in love!

Happy writing for the next chapter (and beyond). I've taken the "go with the flow" approach to writing chapters in one of my WIPs (incidentally, it is a Sirius/OC... coincidence? I THINK SO.) and it's quite a liberating experience. You never know where your story will end up, and whilst that can be quite daunting, it is also terribly exciting. Best wishes :)

Author's Response: The Marauders are the best! How could I resist writing them? :P Though I don't think it may turn out fluffy... though fluffy Sirius Black stories are great.

Jodie... she is in quite a nuthshell. ;) (see what I did there?) She values friendship over her crush for him. I think that is why I love this era... so much loyalty and friendship and at the same time betrayal and danger.

Remyyy... lol, I should never call him that again. Remus is usually characterized as a good friend and I always picture him that way so I guess that's why his personality is like that in this story. And I totally got that Sirius joke haha!

The "go with the flow" thing is new but I'm excited for it! :D Thanks for the best wishes and for the lovely review! And now I have a fic I must check out (your Sirius/OC).

~Sama


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Review #9, by Iellwen one.

24th April 2014:
Hi there, review swap! :)

So after this greatly awesome introduction chapter, I can't help but think Remus may have a patient but humongous crush on Jodie. :D
Maybe I'm over-thinking this, but since this is in Jodie's perspective there might be a few hints here and there she didn't pick up on^^

I love Jodie, she seems like a strong, down-to-earth gal, strong enough to lie to nervous nillies like Peter so as to not worry them, even if she dislikes lying (and that's an alluring trait^^). So far I think she's a smart, kind girl, self-aware and a perfect Gryffindor. :D
I love that she sees the adorable side of Peter's awkwardness!

It's great you had Remus point out the good in James Potter even though she wants to get over him, showing what a true friend he'll always be to James.
I loved how Remus waited for her voice to break! Have they gone through so much already? Has he helped her get over crushes before? ^^

I'm really looking forward to finding out more and to meet the devious Sirius and the talked-about James! And Isobel! :D
I'd love to swap again! In the meantime, this baby goes on my reading list!

*Gee

Author's Response: Hehe no... Remus actually doesn't have a crush on her (though if I was Jodie, I would wish he had a crush on me, but then that is probably because I love Remus). I could see them working out though if they did end up together. ^_^

Yay, you like Jodie! Gryffindors are a bit hard to write since I usually don't write them but she's really fun to write. And yes she hates lying. And Peter is usually left out in most fics so I guess that is why I made him likable and not ignored.

Remus is loyal... that's why he is such a great friend. And it was his instincts that told him that her voice would crack. Yes, he's known about her past crushes but they never were as serious as this one.

Yes, Sirius and James is in the next chapter (which is actually in the que) and you get to meet Isobel in chapter three. Thanks so much for the terrific review! I think this review is my fav out of all the ones I recieved on my story. And I'd definitely be up for review swapping again! :D

~Sama


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Review #10, by WeasleyTwins one.

24th April 2014:
Hello darling! Here for a review swap (review swaps via statuses are the best!)

Okay, so I find it very intriguing that Jodie is characterized as a liar, even though she hates to do so. Oftentimes in fanfiction, the main characters have all these wonderful qualities, but never seem to have any flaws. And those flaws always seem to be inconsequential, ridiculous flaws that really hold no meaning to their personality/characterization. However, Jodie is well aware that she's a liar and although she doesn't flaunt it, the fact that she admits it is fascinating. I really like that in a character. I like realistic.

I also like her name: Jodie. It's so normal and realistic. Many fanfiction characters use off-the-wall names like Octavia and when, as a reader, you see these crazy names over and over, it gets to be a cliche. So, anyway, I like your choice of name. It's refreshing.

Oh, I also love the simile about her love life being like oatmeal and then Fruit Loops. That was cute and unique and made me laugh.

Overall, I like the start of this story! It was a good read! :)

Shelby

Author's Response: Shelby! Review swaps are the best haha.

Yes, Jodie isn't always the most honest though she tries to be. Hehe, yes, flaws are necessary to every character, Without one, a character seems flat, in my opinion that is. You find her fascinating? That's a first I've heard but I love it!

Her name... it was so hard to find one for her. I kept searching through lists of baby names and common British girl names and then I saw Jodie and I was like 'yup, that's her.' And not everyone is blessed with a unique name... some of us are stuck with the common ones, but those ones are the most fun to play with, don't you think?

I think the simile of oatmeal and Fruit Loops tells a lot about me... that I eat a lot of cereal. I was hoping someone would catch that, I think you are one of the only ones. :)

I tremendously loved reading this so thank you for review swapping with me. ^_^

~Sama


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Review #11, by newgenerationlover one.

23rd April 2014:
Hi, here from the review swap!

This is a great start! Even though we haven't seen much of Jodie yet, I already love her! She seems like a very strong character with a great sense of humor that isn't described in a cliched way. (Sorry, that was a very bad description but I'm guessing you know what I mean if you have spent any time reading stories from the humor page of this site haha).

I really enjoyed your portrayal of Remus. Its really hard to give characters your own voice when they already have a canon one, but you have done an excellent job! Most make Remus either too shy and scared of his own "furry little problem," or they make him too much like James and Sirius without any respect to his regard for the rules or doing the right thing. You have made him with the perfect mix of the two aspects.

I didn't notice any grammatical issues. I really can't wait to read more. Great job!

Author's Response: Hello! First chapters are always scary and getting feedback is always... scarier but your review is very kind!

And no, that was definitely not a bad description at all... I totally got that. And I'm super happy that you liked Jodie. She's different from what I usually write since.

Haha Remus is a babe but writing him is a little risky since he is canon. I'm glad you thought I wrote him well. I don't like it when people make him like Sirius and James because he really isn't like them so that's probably why I went a different way. :)

Thank you so much for the awesomely awesome review. I'm happy we did this review swap and thanks for the positive feedback. :D

~Sama


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Review #12, by maraudertimes one.

22nd April 2014:
Hi! Review swap!

This was really cool! I really like this aspect of a James Potter love story! (even if I do feel bad for Jodie) It must be awful to like one of your best mates and have him completely in love with someone else (especially if that someone else is Lily Evans).

Overall though, I loved Jodie. She seems like a very down-to-earth girl and her relationship with Remus already seems very tight. It's nice to see a guy-girl relationship be just a friendship, especially with their dynamic.

Your concept is quite refreshing and I liked what you did with the chapter. Jodie's unrequited feelings are definitely going to get in the way, but I like the idea of her trying to get over him. I can only imagine what Sirius will be doing to help with that...

So far, this seems really good and I hope you manage to update soon! I definitely want to see more of Jodie!

Thank you so much for the review swap and honestly, this is very well done! The only think I would CC would be maybe a little more description, but other than that it was great!

Lo :)

Author's Response: Hi!

James/Lily are one of my OTPs and I wanted to give the James love story a bit of a twist. Hehe yes, Jodie is in a bit of a dilemma. But that can happen when you fall for your best mate, right?

I am honestly so over-the-moon that you like Jodie. I was worried that she would come out as a flat character. She is really close to Remus, and guy-girl friendships are always so genuine and I really wanted to capture that.

Sirius... well, he'll help... in his own way. ;)

Thanks so much for the positive review! And I'm glad we did the review swap. Thanks for the CC... description has always been a weakness of mine. I'll have to work on it.

~Sama


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Review #13, by prettywishes one.

21st April 2014:
This seems really interesting! I thought that it was a bit short, but I did like how you sort of dived right into everything. First chapters are the hardest to do, and I really liked this! I liked Jodie and the way that you've written Remus so I'm interested to see how everyone else will be portrayed in the next chapter!

Author's Response: Yay, first review on a new story! You get brownie points!

Yes. it was a little short but I guess that is because of how the scene ended up playing out. Hopefully, future chapters will get a little longer. You liked it? That's so sweet! I'm also very glad you liked Jodie. It can be sometimes hard to make a main character likable so it is great to hear that. I was actually scared that Remus would be a little out of character haha. And the rest of the crew are coming... soon.

Thanks for the wonderful review!
I had a great time reading and responding to it!
~Sama


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