Reading Reviews for Halcyon
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by willow1 One

5th May 2014:
"The time has come," The walrus said,"to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and sealing wax."

Author's Response: I would write "Alice" fanfiction but I'm scared of the Cheshire Cat and I feel like my brain would leak out my ears if I even tried.

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Review #2, by marauderfan Trzy

29th April 2014:
Hello! I just read through all the chapters you have posted so far, and I really like this story!

Your descriptions are lovely. Dom is certainly something! I can understand how Faye feels a little overwhelmed by her (and the rest of her family, haha. That's a lot of people to meet all at once!) Anyway, I like the balance between Dom and Louis, too - between Dom's loud, overbearing personality and Louis's quieter snarkiness. I do wonder what will become of Dom's scheme to become famous... haha. I like that the main Weasley in this story is Dominique, because she doesn't get featured quite as much in fanfiction.

Sometimes, transfer students can be cliche but it doesn't feel that way here - so great job with that. You've built up a kind of mystery too, like why did Faye leave Beauxbatons, what happened there? And what happened to her mother? Things I suppose I will find out later on. But anyway I like the way you've set it up.

I'm trying to figure out what will be the primary ship of this story but it's all a mystery to me still, because Faye seems to think everyone is attractive! :P Hm, probably Albus though? I don't know that she necessarily likes him yet, but she does seem to like staring at him, and he likes her lack of disappointment that he's not James - so that's promising. :p All in all, this is a really entertaining story you've got so far. Keep up the great work!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I find the lot of them overwhelming as well so I empathize. And yes, Dom is...something.

Thanks again. I feel like I ended up using a few cliches (transfers, James the Quidditch star, Dom the selfish blonde, Rose/Scorpius) so hopefully they don't feel tired. Time will tell.

Ha, Faye at this point is so unfamiliar with people in general that the sight of a male is exciting. But yes, you'll see. It's revealed fairly quickly. Glad you like it!


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Review #3, by 800 words of heaven Deux

24th April 2014:
In the last review, I didn't talk much about your actual writing but I think it's very good. There are only a few spelling and grammar mistakes, which I think are more typos than anything else. Your description is lovely. It's enough to paint the scene without bogging down the prose, and your dialogue is quite natural as well.

Faye seems to be coming along well as a character. She's quite reserved at the moment, but I think that's to be expected. I'm sure she'll be "blossoming" soon. And I cannot wait for Dom to initiate her dastardly plan!

Author's Response: Thank you. I really wish I could edit everything to perfection but by the time I'm posting, I've read everything so many times that my eyes are crossing.

A secondary title could be "The Unraveling of Faye Moncrieff" so I'm glad she's intriguing so far.


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Review #4, by 800 words of heaven One

24th April 2014:
Hello! *waves*

Oh, my goodness! This is such a fantastic start! I already love Dominique as a character already. I wouldn't want her as a friend, but from an interesting character standpoint, she's very intriguing so far. Right now, she's walking the line between fanon and your own twist on her, which I really like. There's enough there for the readers who feel comfortable reading typical characterisation, but also enough to keep things interesting. I love that she's quite unapologetic about how and why she makes friends. I think it'll be very interesting to see her throughout the story.

And Louis is her twin, rather than her younger brother. That's a refreshing change! He seems to be a nice foil to Dominique at the moment. He's quiet, where she's loud; he's empathetic, where she's well, not. Hopefully he'll come into his own as the story moves on, rather than just being secondary to Dominique all the time.

Moving on to chapter two!

Author's Response: I quite like her but I'm like you where I don't think I'd want to hang out with her. She's fun to write because I think of her as largely delusional and living in a completely different world from the rest of us mere mortals.

Yeah, I usually write him younger but Dom is so outrageous that I think she needs that immediate restraint. Louis brings her back to earth.


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Review #5, by newgenerationlover One

22nd April 2014:
Interesting beginning, but when do we get to the "shameless seduction" and "dirty money?" Can't wait to read about that!

Author's Response: Thanks for my first ever review! Ha, yes. I'm excited too and I hope I know soon. I have a rough outline but it's in flux as I get to know the characters.

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