129 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MargaretLane Investigating

25th October 2014:
Wow, that's a pretty interesting assignment for Albus to get to witness. If it wasn't one that was something of a moral dilemma for him, it'd be really exciting.

Makes a lot of sense that they'd be careful who they sell illegal potions to. It sounds as if they'd be in a lot of trouble if they were caught. I like the details you add that make the wizarding world seem real, like the rules about the selling of potions and the trials and so on.

Strikes me though that George could be a liability in an Apothecary. It's the sort of business where you'd need a clear mind. Making a mistake, after all, could be pretty serious. I suspect there is more to George being employed there.

And now you have me wondering if there's some connection between the illegal potions trade and the murders. I assumed they were just a red herring, a way to have Boone muddy the waters and get blamed in the wrong, but now it's occurred to me that covering that up COULD be a motive for murder - a vastly inadequate one, but I guess if the profits were high enough... And one of the murders took place in Diagon Alley, near where one of the Apothecaries is and another in Hogsmeade, near where somebody using one of the potions was hiding. I can't imagine why the latter would provide a motive for killing somebody there, unless of course, the victim had noticed Young in Hogsmeade at times he couldn't possibly be. Then it might have become necessary to silence him.

I've come up with more possible solutions to this mystery. And I've no idea which is the most likely.

Hmm, Fawley's becoming more obviously dodgy.

And I DO feel sorry for Boone. He really seems to have had a pretty awful time.

I like the fact Albus doesn't immediately recognise the phrase "the greater good". There's no real reason he should, when Grindelwald didn't directly target Britain. I do see Johnston's point though, about not raising the minor issues and how it's a dilemma.

I wonder though if your inclusion of the term "the greater good" is hinting at something more - that Johnston is untrustworthy, perhaps or a connection with Grindelwald. Or maybe you were just writing about Johnston suggesting the ends justified the means and you realised it was similar to Grindelwald's logic and decided to make a connection. I know there are a few times in my mystery stories when people start picking up on things that have no great relevance.

The term "citations" sounds a bit American. It wouldn't be one I'd expect to see used in this context. Can't remember what terms Arthur Weasley used, but I think he just spoke of fines.

I'm not surprised they aren't all in the Marauder's den often. With Kaden in his O.W.L.s year and helping Burke, all the sixth years having internships as well as schoolwork and Rose and Albus being prefects, they must all be pretty busy.

Oooh, there's something ominous about your last paragraph. I've a feeling this Hogsmeade visit won't be as much fun as Albus thinks.

 Report Review

Review #2, by Liana Investigating

24th October 2014:
I loved the comment about the guy experimenting with too many recreational potions. That was priceless. Too bad Ron didn't grab Albus and introduce him to Dawlish. Great chapter.

 Report Review

Review #3, by ngayonatkailanman Investigating

24th October 2014:
Excellent description of scenes and scenarious. One thing, though. When Al saw Ron with Dawlish, there did not seem a reaction from Ron. It is probably superflous to the story but, it adds to interest.

 Report Review

Review #4, by myhorserockyrocks Dawlish

20th October 2014:
Great chapter!! Can't wait for the update!!

Horse :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by Ms Mice Radcliffe Dawlish

19th October 2014:
Yay!!! Another review!! : ) i definatly agree with Walters that Dawlish is investigating the Boone murder on his own!! good for him i say!! I was wondering though why albus didnt talk to his dad at the end (when matt told him he would probably be missing class on wednesday due to the full moon) about investigating the Boone murder like a muggle would. i also believe that the killer is probably muggleborn or lives comfortably among muggles (like johns family)

 Report Review

Review #6, by Liana Dawlish

18th October 2014:
I'm so happy you're back. I checked for new chapters every week. If Harry knew that Albus was going to try to disarm him would he be able to protect his wand against Expelliarmus? Would it work to Albus' advantage if the incantation was used as a surprise? I would think that Apparition is hard to learn. I really enjoyed this chapter. I still think that there was something fishy about the last election. If Albus investigates he'll probably find out some improprieties.

 Report Review

Review #7, by Arianna Dawlish

18th October 2014:
Yes! I was waiting so much for this chapter, and when I looked and saw it was up I screamed(and then attracted many strange looks). But it was so,so,so,so,so,so,good!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Grant Dawlish

16th October 2014:
Well, I've read many a fan fiction, but the world you've created (minus the borrowing from Ms. Rowling) is spectacular. I have loved reading these almost as much as reading the original Harry Potter Series. If you ever tried to get these stories published, I think you'd be able to. (: I can't wait to read what else you have in store for Albus and his friends and family. Keep up the brilliant work! And my rating of the chapter should be a reflection on the entire work, and the rest of the works in Albus Potter's story.

 Report Review

Review #9, by ngayonatkailanman Dawlish

14th October 2014:
Welcome back. I missed the updates. Good job, as per usual.

 Report Review

Review #10, by PurpleShoes2 Dawlish

13th October 2014:
Ah - nice to finely see it up! Been checking every week for it. So much so I've gone back through and started the story from the begining (In Midnights shadow etc)

 Report Review

Review #11, by draco_lover12 Dawlish

11th October 2014:
So happy this is back!

 Report Review

Review #12, by ginnyREEpotter Dawlish

11th October 2014:
Yea!! New update!! This is awesome!
I wonder if it really was Albus who did the spell? Could someone else have disarmed John at the same time?

Dawlish makes me laugh- he doesn't listen to his own head of department! That's hilarious!

I can't wait for the next chapter- and the wait for this one was worth it! Thanks for writing!

 Report Review

Review #13, by MargaretLane Dawlish

11th October 2014:
Yay, another chapter of Albus.

Hmm, Meggie sounds sensible. Fair play to her. And it sounds like things are pretty serious between her and James.

I really wonder what those pins are for. I've a feeling they are something important. Possibly places where murders like the ones the previous year took place. Or perhaps places illegal potions were sold. I wonder if it's relevant that one of the pins marks the place Matt lived or if that's just a coincidence. Brisbane is pretty well-known. There could be a lot happening there.

I laughed out loud about the comment about where Dawlish thinks Johnston's head is. And I'm also amused at the way Albus thinks he might mean Johnston and Laurentis are having an affair.

It sounds like a lot of people are investigating privately - Harry, Dawlish, Balladanis, sort of Ron, maybe. Johnston REALLY doesn't seem to have the faith of his department.

And I am now getting kinda suspicious of Dawlish. I know I thought it was a woman, but I'm beginning to question the number of people who are suspicious. And Dawlish seems to be working independently of Balladanis and Harry, who are at least willing to share resources, regardless of what their personal opinions of one another might be. So all we know is that people THINK Dawlish is investigating behind Johnston's back. That'd be a good cover if he were doing something dodgy. And while others are pretending to support Johnston, he's making a parade of his opposition. If he were INVOLVED in the murders or something, then standing up for the person blamed in the wrong, would be a good way to make himself look innocent. And he could even goad Johnston into greater certainty about Boone by a bit of reverse psychology. Like the more he provokes Johnston into insisting Boone is guilty and denying all the things that don't fit, the less likely Johnston is to be able to admit he's wrong later on.

I'm not sure I REALLY believe Dawlish is guilty. There are still other suspects like the new librarian and the woman who was evaluating the teachers. But I'm adding him to my suspect list.

I'm a bit unsure as to which war Dawlish has been an Auror since, because Waters says the first war, which I would assume was the 1970-1981 one, but then he says "unless you count your dad and Ron," who were only infants at the end of that.

I like the idea about Kendrick having to cast a charm for Muggleborn's family members to get into Diagon Alley and so on. My headcanon is that if you know of those places, you can see them, because there is some contradiction as Hermione's parents were in Diagon Alley and with the families being invited to see the Triwizard Tournament, it'd be a bit unfair if there was no way for Muggles to visit Hogwarts, because it would mean a Muggleborn's family couldn't come. The idea of a charm makes sense.

And while a Muggle IS unlikely, mostly because I would have thought a wizard would be fairly easily able to defend him or herself against a Muggle (though they should be easily able to defend themselves against Muggle weapons anyway - hmmm), I think they are dismissing the idea too quickly. IF a Muggle WERE involved, it probably WOULD be somebody with some connection to the magical world, so a Squib or the family of a Muggleborn and those would be the people who WOULD be able to get into Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. Actually, I think a Squib is more likely than a Muggleborn's family member, as their connection with the wizarding world would be greater. While a Muggle with a witch or wizard in their family COULD have a grudge against people in the wizarding world, I think a Squib would know more people there and be more likely to have enemies in it.

And actually, a Squib may feel resentful due to their lack of magic. It seems like there is a lot of prejudice against Squibs, so I can easily imagine one having reason to resent a number of people within the magical world. Hmm. You don't seem to have any Squibs as suspects though.

LOVE the relationship between Matt and Arthur.

And I'd forgotten they are taking different subjects now, until Matt had to tell Albus about Astronomy.

By the way, how long is this story going to be? It's nearly 20 chapters and still not at Halloween. The longer the better, by the way. I don't want this series to end!

And I LOVE the reference to Harry startling easily. It makes sense characters would be affected by the war. It's something I always tend to overlook in my next gen stories, I suspect partly because of being from a country that hasn't been at war in 91 years and therefore not having the same reminders of how the effects of war linger. I've written a few war trauma stories about the immediate aftermath, but I'm less comfortable with writing the effect that remain 20+ years later.

Also like the fact that even after mastering the spell once, Albus can't do it again. It's more realistic than having a character go from being unable to do something to doing it every time.

Don't worry about having hiatus. Your update schedule is amazing.

 Report Review

Review #14, by Budu Frickurbaab The Deposition

2nd October 2014:
This is a really good story.
ugifhar

 Report Review

Review #15, by Arianna The Deposition

2nd September 2014:
Oh. Hiatus. That's why you weren't updating. *facepalm*. I should learn to read A/N's better.

 Report Review

Review #16, by myhorserockyrocks The Deposition

27th August 2014:
Great chapter!! I can't wait for the update!!

Horse :)

 Report Review

Review #17, by Liana The Deposition

25th August 2014:
I sure did recognize the reference to Cuckoo's Calling. I've also read The Silkworm. That woman can't write anything bad. I think your discussion of the legal proceedings was reasonable. I'm glad Harry was there. I especially liked Albus' answer to one of the questions when he said his Dad was Harry Potter and that was how he knew about a secret passageway.

 Report Review

Review #18, by Arianna The Deposition

25th August 2014:
Good chapter! I usually hate law and find it so boring reading about it makes me want to crawl under a rock and die. But not this time! Woohoo! Besides, I don't think a human being could fit under a rock.

 Report Review

Review #19, by ngayonatkailanman The Deposition

23rd August 2014:
Oh no. you are on hiatus. oh no. there goes my weakly ray of sunshine. i am avidly following the 7 years at hogwarts or these wonderful next gen youngsters and every update is a joy to read. thanks for the silkworm and the other book you recommended. i hope to download when i will afford either an ipad or a kindle. as for the legal side of things, i am glad that you did your own thing based on what you know because this is a wizarding legal matter and i would hope that it will have differences between British Muggle law and the wizarding community. English Law is completely different to Scottish Law and both belong to the UK. I so look forward to Matt's turn in your update. Would it be nice if both Al and Matt will actually testify before the Wizengamot? I wonder what Hermione will do then. Oh there are so many exciting possibilities with this story. Life comes first and I do understand so here is wishing you luck and hope things will go smoothly as you have planned. then get back to us your readers. that is an order, lol.

 Report Review

Review #20, by MargaretLane The Deposition

23rd August 2014:
Best of luck with the new job.

I've had to take breaks in posting stories myself, due to work stuff. I think I've put up one chapter of my series in over two months. So I know the situation. And it means your series won't end as quickly! Which is good.

I think if I were Matt, I would be seriously freaked out by this whole situation. If somebody can be arrested for a crime of which they are clearly innocent, due to prejudice against werewolves, it doesn't exactly bode well. Of course, Boone HAD committed a crime and would probably never have come to the Aurors' attention at all if he hadn't, but it's still somewhat chilling to think that if you make the slightest mistake, it's going to be held against you in a way it wouldn't be against others.

*cheers for Matt choosing to testify* Fair play to him.

It might help Albus get out of testifying if he makes it clear he thinks Boone is innocent. They might be wary of putting forward a witness for the prosecution who didn't believe in the accused's guilt. It wouldn't necessarily work, not if they thought his evidence was necessary, but it might put a doubt in their minds about using him.

*cheers for Kaden's mum saying Bethany is responsible for her own actions* I mean, I can understand blaming older siblings for leading the younger ones into trouble, but when it comes to blaming the older ones for something the younger ones did on their own, like Gemma's detentions, it seems to me that it's just teaching the younger ones to blame others for their mistakes. After all, John didn't have an older sibling to sort out his messes.

*laughs at Albus claiming he knew because his dad is Harry Potter*

In a way, it's a good thing about the map, because now it looks as if that's what he didn't want announced publicly. If his answer were completely innocent, they'd think he was lying, as why would it be classified if it were innocent? But the map could well be something Harry uses as an Auror. And the part about his dad being Harry Potter really fits with the information being classified. It makes it sound as if Harry has used the Shack for some kind of Auror activities or something and nobody outside the Aurors is supposed to know how to enter.

Santiago is a bit creepy, with all his "interestings". I don't see how any of this can prove or disprove Boone's guilt, so I wonder what he is so interested by.

*laughs* No, I don't think that testimony really helps the prosecution* All he's said is really, "we found him in the Shrieking Shack, polyjuiced as Professor Young and he showed us that he couldn't hold a knife or a wand, so we believed he couldn't possibly have committed murder." Not exactly what they want to hear.

And I've just remembered there's STILL no explanation as to why the murders were done by knife.

Actually, I can see that going against Boone. It could be argued that his hands would make it more difficult for him to commit murder, so he's more likely to choose an unusual way. Wouldn't really make SENSE, as this should be harder for him to do than ordinary magic, but considering the bias against werewolves, I can see people believing it.

Hey, a thought, would the injuries HAVE to be caused by a knife or could Sectumsempra have done them? I don't remember all the details of the injuries. I'll have to check back.

 Report Review

Review #21, by kayleefrank The Deposition

22nd August 2014:
K I just wanna say how much I love these stories. You do such a great job and keep me guessing what Albus and his friends will do next. I loved the line in this chapter 'My dad is Harry Potter.' Made me laugh.

 Report Review

Review #22, by draco_lover12 The Summons

18th August 2014:
When is this being updated??

 Report Review

Review #23, by LilyLookALike The Summons

17th August 2014:
Well hi there.
So, previously id read the first few books of this and thought they were good. I dont remember when but i think it was when you were still working on the lost legacy. And then recently i reread the HP series and decided to start rereading your books. This was lsst monday. Not sven a week gah. I think i did this too quickly, but anyhow. Just felt i should comment at some point, cuz before i was too interested in continuing to read. This is fantastic! I love your writing, your storyline, and the way youve created the characters and their unique personalities. Fantastic! It takes a lot of dedication to write this much, and i applaud you. I can not wait for the next update! Peace out (lol idk why i said that)
-Lily

 Report Review

Review #24, by HarryGinnyLove88 The Summons

16th August 2014:
create story as always. :)

But when albus find herself a girlfriend.. he`s 16. and her brother already have what two?

 Report Review

Review #25, by Percival Dumbledore The Summons

15th August 2014:
Nice Chapter once again...

Happy to know the love of Arthur with Muggles and their materials...

I have now started to worry about Burke... Because of his illness he have to do many illegal work..

He is such a good brewer, he don't deserve to die like this, yes its true that he's goona die soon, isn't it? and so early.. I mean to say that he has to do many inventions yet and he could help Amy with many inventions.. But alas he is do gonna die...

The more bad thing is that if he dies without giving the recipe of the anxiety potion to Amy. then the worst things could happen in Matt's life... He should soon give the formula to Amy, or at least Mr. or Mrs. Eckerton should buy it at any cost as money can be made again but not the life of an innocent, soon to be of age, child...

"Better than that third year who lost all her hair due to your sisterís inability to follow the rules", when I read this I was laughing very hard... John do is naughty and MARAUDEROUS but not as naughty as Gemma(Sorry if name or spelling is wrong, I am famous for forgetting names)

Sad to hear that Albus and Matt have to be on the opposite teams(or sides, whatever) for the case of Boone (If Matt chose to be on the prosecution of Boone)..

But I think that Matt should choose to be in the prosecution of Boone, as it will give him confidence to fight for the good and truth and it will give benefit to Boone..

At this time I feel that it should've been Percy, who should've won the election because if that would've happened, then, nothing shitty situation like this would've come to existence and harry too would've not lost his Job. But nothing can be done now, as it is past and it cannot b changed, no, actually it can be changed, with the help of a time-turner, but that would require many things like an another time-turner to come back in the present and many extra things, so its a bad thing, right?

oh look, I speak about something and go on something different topic.. Oh I speak so much..!!

Waiting for your next Chapter...

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>