138 Reviews Found

Review #1, by draco_lover12 Halloween

22nd November 2014:
Any chance of a update??? Getting withdrawn here.

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Review #2, by HDLM Halloween

17th November 2014:
After a month, I finally caught will the story lol. I was even late to work because I couldn't stop reading it lol. Anyway, I love this series. It's really thought out. One thing that's been bugging me though, I thought Lily was a year younger than. Albus. This doesn't change my opinion on your story, I still love it, I just wondering. Anyways, keep up the great work and I can't wait til the next chapter is up.

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Review #3, by myhorserockyrocks Halloween

16th November 2014:
Great chapter! I can't wait for the update!

Horse :)

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Review #4, by Padfoot's_Sister-From-Another-Mister Halloween

11th November 2014:
Hi Gryffin Duck! Just wanted to say amazing work. I started reading your series back when you only had books one through three finished, and just this week rediscovered HPFF. Thank you for convincing my boyfriend I am a irredeemable Potterhead! (I've read the entire series in about five days because I couldn't put it down...) Anyway, loving all of it, can't wait for the next chapter, and good luck with NaNoWriMo!!!

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Review #5, by Percival Dumbledore Halloween

4th November 2014:
AWESOME CHAPTER AGAIN!!

I was also a bit busy so I too didn't got a chance to send reviews but I liked all the chapters so far!

And Gemma being angry on John for not receiving an Howler is very funny.

And the pranks by both John and Kaden and Gemma were awesome. I doubt she did it alone.

By the way I was thinking what it was that Elsie showed Felix stating that "he" is abroad by looking into it! Was it a kind of 'Marauder's Map' or something? It just popped in my mind.

And thinking of the 'Marauder's Map' what happened to the one James was making with his friends and a little help by Rose?

Maybe you told about it and I might have forgotten because as I have told before too, I am famous for forgetting things!! :-P

By the way what is NaNo? I dont know it.

I am waiting for your next Chapter!

Be back soon!!

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Review #6, by MargaretLane Halloween

1st November 2014:
This is SO perfect. It occurred to me it might work, because I knew your characters were talking a lot about Halloween, so it should be in the next couple of chapters, but going up on the actual day (by ye're time anyway) is perfect.

We're actually having summer temperatures over here at the moment. It's in the low 60s, which would be coolish summer weather here. And fun fact, in Ireland, we usually consider the winter to begin on the first of November. I know the English work it out differently though. We're just working from the traditional Celtic versions, in which Halloween marked the changing of the seasons. And this is some tangent from a mention of a chilly autumn day.

Oh gosh, I hadn't thought about Gemma. I guess I'm not used to associating pranks with Halloween. Fireworks, bonfires, trick-or-treating, scary films, barnbreac, sweets, apples, nuts would be my associations. I am anxious to see John and Kaden's prank though. You've been hinting at it for so long, I suspect it's going to be dramatic.

So Felix and Elsie are DEFINITELY up to something. I wonder what it was she didn't tell the truth about.

Yeah, I agree it's more likely to be about her reasons for being in Hogsmeade. It's kind of unlikely she'd lie about seeing Young right in the place somebody really was Polyjuicing as him. But there's clearly something she omitted and I'd imagine it's significant. I always SAID it seemed out of character for her to sneak into Hogsmeade just for the same of it. I'd expect GEMMA to do that, but Elsie doesn't seem the type.

I'm not entirely sure it's all an act. It's possible she's just stressed and that's why she was more outspoken here. But if it IS all an act then that means whatever's going on is pretty serious.

Aberforth's still alive? I guess it's not surprising, since Bathilda Bagshot only died in Deathly Hallows and she must be 20-30 years older than Dumbledore and Aberforth.

*laughs at Rose responding to the comment that Albus could go to Azkaban with the comment that he'd just have to be sure he didn't get caught* They do take risks, don't they? And I REALLY don't think that one is worth it. I can see why they'd want to know what Felix and Elsie are lying, but after all, just finding out what lie they told wouldn't help them find out the truth necessarily and they'd only be figuring out what was already known. It'd make far more sense to tell Harry or Ron or Dawlish or somebody what they'd heard. But I guess they wouldn't be Albus and his friends if they went straight to an adult.

Oh Gemma! Gluing the door of the Hospital wing shut could be serious, if somebody was injured or something and couldn't get in. When you consider some of the serious injuries that happen in Hogwarts, it could get problematic. I know it's unlikely somebody'd just be injured at that point, but it's not impossible.

*laughs* James had Kreacher help him with a prank at breakfast in my story, so that's a coincidence. It was a rather different prank though.

And that was a good prank, one that was just funny without really causing any great problem. Unlike Gemma's. And yeah, an owl home just for duplicating dishes would be a bit over the top.

Poor Burke. I feel sorry for him.

I agree with Harry on this one. Howlers are pretty pointless really.

Best of luck with Nano.

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Review #7, by Liana Halloween

31st October 2014:
I think this story is as close to Halloween that I got his year. It's cold so we left treats outside in a basket. I'm glad everyone thought the prank was harmless and funny. I wonder if here's any hope for Professor Burke.

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Review #8, by ngayonatkailanman Halloween

31st October 2014:
LOL. What a revelation. Shy Elsie is not really shy. Gemma is worse than John Anyhow, good job. I look forward to your updatesa, very much.

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Review #9, by HarryGinnyLove88 Investigating

27th October 2014:
I was wondering when you write, finally :)

good story, please write soon :)

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Review #10, by MargaretLane Investigating

25th October 2014:
Wow, that's a pretty interesting assignment for Albus to get to witness. If it wasn't one that was something of a moral dilemma for him, it'd be really exciting.

Makes a lot of sense that they'd be careful who they sell illegal potions to. It sounds as if they'd be in a lot of trouble if they were caught. I like the details you add that make the wizarding world seem real, like the rules about the selling of potions and the trials and so on.

Strikes me though that George could be a liability in an Apothecary. It's the sort of business where you'd need a clear mind. Making a mistake, after all, could be pretty serious. I suspect there is more to George being employed there.

And now you have me wondering if there's some connection between the illegal potions trade and the murders. I assumed they were just a red herring, a way to have Boone muddy the waters and get blamed in the wrong, but now it's occurred to me that covering that up COULD be a motive for murder - a vastly inadequate one, but I guess if the profits were high enough... And one of the murders took place in Diagon Alley, near where one of the Apothecaries is and another in Hogsmeade, near where somebody using one of the potions was hiding. I can't imagine why the latter would provide a motive for killing somebody there, unless of course, the victim had noticed Young in Hogsmeade at times he couldn't possibly be. Then it might have become necessary to silence him.

I've come up with more possible solutions to this mystery. And I've no idea which is the most likely.

Hmm, Fawley's becoming more obviously dodgy.

And I DO feel sorry for Boone. He really seems to have had a pretty awful time.

I like the fact Albus doesn't immediately recognise the phrase "the greater good". There's no real reason he should, when Grindelwald didn't directly target Britain. I do see Johnston's point though, about not raising the minor issues and how it's a dilemma.

I wonder though if your inclusion of the term "the greater good" is hinting at something more - that Johnston is untrustworthy, perhaps or a connection with Grindelwald. Or maybe you were just writing about Johnston suggesting the ends justified the means and you realised it was similar to Grindelwald's logic and decided to make a connection. I know there are a few times in my mystery stories when people start picking up on things that have no great relevance.

The term "citations" sounds a bit American. It wouldn't be one I'd expect to see used in this context. Can't remember what terms Arthur Weasley used, but I think he just spoke of fines.

I'm not surprised they aren't all in the Marauder's den often. With Kaden in his O.W.L.s year and helping Burke, all the sixth years having internships as well as schoolwork and Rose and Albus being prefects, they must all be pretty busy.

Oooh, there's something ominous about your last paragraph. I've a feeling this Hogsmeade visit won't be as much fun as Albus thinks.

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Review #11, by Liana Investigating

24th October 2014:
I loved the comment about the guy experimenting with too many recreational potions. That was priceless. Too bad Ron didn't grab Albus and introduce him to Dawlish. Great chapter.

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Review #12, by ngayonatkailanman Investigating

24th October 2014:
Excellent description of scenes and scenarious. One thing, though. When Al saw Ron with Dawlish, there did not seem a reaction from Ron. It is probably superflous to the story but, it adds to interest.

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Review #13, by myhorserockyrocks Dawlish

20th October 2014:
Great chapter!! Can't wait for the update!!

Horse :)

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Review #14, by Ms Mice Radcliffe Dawlish

19th October 2014:
Yay!!! Another review!! : ) i definatly agree with Walters that Dawlish is investigating the Boone murder on his own!! good for him i say!! I was wondering though why albus didnt talk to his dad at the end (when matt told him he would probably be missing class on wednesday due to the full moon) about investigating the Boone murder like a muggle would. i also believe that the killer is probably muggleborn or lives comfortably among muggles (like johns family)

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Review #15, by Liana Dawlish

18th October 2014:
I'm so happy you're back. I checked for new chapters every week. If Harry knew that Albus was going to try to disarm him would he be able to protect his wand against Expelliarmus? Would it work to Albus' advantage if the incantation was used as a surprise? I would think that Apparition is hard to learn. I really enjoyed this chapter. I still think that there was something fishy about the last election. If Albus investigates he'll probably find out some improprieties.

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Review #16, by Arianna Dawlish

18th October 2014:
Yes! I was waiting so much for this chapter, and when I looked and saw it was up I screamed(and then attracted many strange looks). But it was so,so,so,so,so,so,good!

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Review #17, by Grant Dawlish

16th October 2014:
Well, I've read many a fan fiction, but the world you've created (minus the borrowing from Ms. Rowling) is spectacular. I have loved reading these almost as much as reading the original Harry Potter Series. If you ever tried to get these stories published, I think you'd be able to. (: I can't wait to read what else you have in store for Albus and his friends and family. Keep up the brilliant work! And my rating of the chapter should be a reflection on the entire work, and the rest of the works in Albus Potter's story.

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Review #18, by ngayonatkailanman Dawlish

14th October 2014:
Welcome back. I missed the updates. Good job, as per usual.

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Review #19, by PurpleShoes2 Dawlish

13th October 2014:
Ah - nice to finely see it up! Been checking every week for it. So much so I've gone back through and started the story from the begining (In Midnights shadow etc)

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Review #20, by draco_lover12 Dawlish

11th October 2014:
So happy this is back!

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Review #21, by ginnyREEpotter Dawlish

11th October 2014:
Yea!! New update!! This is awesome!
I wonder if it really was Albus who did the spell? Could someone else have disarmed John at the same time?

Dawlish makes me laugh- he doesn't listen to his own head of department! That's hilarious!

I can't wait for the next chapter- and the wait for this one was worth it! Thanks for writing!

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Review #22, by MargaretLane Dawlish

11th October 2014:
Yay, another chapter of Albus.

Hmm, Meggie sounds sensible. Fair play to her. And it sounds like things are pretty serious between her and James.

I really wonder what those pins are for. I've a feeling they are something important. Possibly places where murders like the ones the previous year took place. Or perhaps places illegal potions were sold. I wonder if it's relevant that one of the pins marks the place Matt lived or if that's just a coincidence. Brisbane is pretty well-known. There could be a lot happening there.

I laughed out loud about the comment about where Dawlish thinks Johnston's head is. And I'm also amused at the way Albus thinks he might mean Johnston and Laurentis are having an affair.

It sounds like a lot of people are investigating privately - Harry, Dawlish, Balladanis, sort of Ron, maybe. Johnston REALLY doesn't seem to have the faith of his department.

And I am now getting kinda suspicious of Dawlish. I know I thought it was a woman, but I'm beginning to question the number of people who are suspicious. And Dawlish seems to be working independently of Balladanis and Harry, who are at least willing to share resources, regardless of what their personal opinions of one another might be. So all we know is that people THINK Dawlish is investigating behind Johnston's back. That'd be a good cover if he were doing something dodgy. And while others are pretending to support Johnston, he's making a parade of his opposition. If he were INVOLVED in the murders or something, then standing up for the person blamed in the wrong, would be a good way to make himself look innocent. And he could even goad Johnston into greater certainty about Boone by a bit of reverse psychology. Like the more he provokes Johnston into insisting Boone is guilty and denying all the things that don't fit, the less likely Johnston is to be able to admit he's wrong later on.

I'm not sure I REALLY believe Dawlish is guilty. There are still other suspects like the new librarian and the woman who was evaluating the teachers. But I'm adding him to my suspect list.

I'm a bit unsure as to which war Dawlish has been an Auror since, because Waters says the first war, which I would assume was the 1970-1981 one, but then he says "unless you count your dad and Ron," who were only infants at the end of that.

I like the idea about Kendrick having to cast a charm for Muggleborn's family members to get into Diagon Alley and so on. My headcanon is that if you know of those places, you can see them, because there is some contradiction as Hermione's parents were in Diagon Alley and with the families being invited to see the Triwizard Tournament, it'd be a bit unfair if there was no way for Muggles to visit Hogwarts, because it would mean a Muggleborn's family couldn't come. The idea of a charm makes sense.

And while a Muggle IS unlikely, mostly because I would have thought a wizard would be fairly easily able to defend him or herself against a Muggle (though they should be easily able to defend themselves against Muggle weapons anyway - hmmm), I think they are dismissing the idea too quickly. IF a Muggle WERE involved, it probably WOULD be somebody with some connection to the magical world, so a Squib or the family of a Muggleborn and those would be the people who WOULD be able to get into Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade. Actually, I think a Squib is more likely than a Muggleborn's family member, as their connection with the wizarding world would be greater. While a Muggle with a witch or wizard in their family COULD have a grudge against people in the wizarding world, I think a Squib would know more people there and be more likely to have enemies in it.

And actually, a Squib may feel resentful due to their lack of magic. It seems like there is a lot of prejudice against Squibs, so I can easily imagine one having reason to resent a number of people within the magical world. Hmm. You don't seem to have any Squibs as suspects though.

LOVE the relationship between Matt and Arthur.

And I'd forgotten they are taking different subjects now, until Matt had to tell Albus about Astronomy.

By the way, how long is this story going to be? It's nearly 20 chapters and still not at Halloween. The longer the better, by the way. I don't want this series to end!

And I LOVE the reference to Harry startling easily. It makes sense characters would be affected by the war. It's something I always tend to overlook in my next gen stories, I suspect partly because of being from a country that hasn't been at war in 91 years and therefore not having the same reminders of how the effects of war linger. I've written a few war trauma stories about the immediate aftermath, but I'm less comfortable with writing the effect that remain 20+ years later.

Also like the fact that even after mastering the spell once, Albus can't do it again. It's more realistic than having a character go from being unable to do something to doing it every time.

Don't worry about having hiatus. Your update schedule is amazing.

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Review #23, by Budu Frickurbaab The Deposition

2nd October 2014:
This is a really good story.
ugifhar

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Review #24, by Arianna The Deposition

2nd September 2014:
Oh. Hiatus. That's why you weren't updating. *facepalm*. I should learn to read A/N's better.

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Review #25, by myhorserockyrocks The Deposition

27th August 2014:
Great chapter!! I can't wait for the update!!

Horse :)

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