231 Reviews Found

Review #1, by MargaretLane Quidditch Protocols

21st April 2015:
I'm glad Meg seems happy. She's had a pretty upsetting time too and it's good it hasn't affected her too badly.

The sentence "the awkward went both ways" might sound better if you said "the awkwardness".

I can definitely see why Albus is worried about James. I would never have imagined him reacting to something like this that way. Mind you, I never imagined something like this happening to him at all. But his behaviour does seem out of character. For somebody like Rose or Amanda or even Matt, time alone might be what they needed after a crisis or a major change to their life, but James doesn't seem like the sort of person who'd feel better alone and he definitely doesn't seem the type to enjoy being in the library. It SEEMS to be just because it's quiet.

Though, of course, he could be thinking about his future. I think it's not necessarily a bad thing he hasn't made any decisions about that yet. After all, he's only recently realised he'll have to rethink his whole future. That isn't something you do overnight.

Yeah, I think Harry and Ginny are likely to be understanding of the risks involved in Quidditch. I totally understand the demand for an inquiry though.

Aw, that concept of Kiddie Quidditch is absolutely adorable. I LOVE IT.

Oh, you've written "none of us wold be prepared for being recruited by a team," leaving out the "u" in "would."

I wonder would some of these parents worrying about the dangers of Quidditch react negatively to the idea of their child attending school with a werewolf too, if they found out about Matt. It's kind of understandable he's so anxious when you think that people probably WOULD react quite negatively.

And all this talk of changing Quidditch rules and opposition to Kiddie Quidditch reminds me of when our P.E. teacher wouldn't let us play soccer, because she apparently considered it just a well, less robust version of (Gaelic) football.

Hmm, I suspect Hermione would be rather attuned to the idea of students eavesdropping considering what she and her friends got up to in their schooldays. John and Albus would want to be careful if they don't want to be caught.

In this case, I think the age of the board might go in favour of what the students want. People who've seen things done this way for 50-100 years are less likely to see any need for change than a younger person with children who'd be attending Hogwarts in a few years might be.

OH! Now I'm intrigued. This actually kind of sounds like the ending of a story, like the mystery is about to be solved, but as it's still only March, I doubt that is the case. Although of course, you'd probably have plenty to get you through the final term between James's injury and his N.E.W.T.S. and the Quidditch and everything.

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Review #2, by ngayonatkailanman Quidditch Protocols

20th April 2015:
No. Pleaase do not leave with that cliff hanger? Now, I have to wait an entire week! Brilliant.

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Review #3, by Liana The Break-Up

16th April 2015:
I didn't expect James to do the breaking up. He was stupid for going out to try Quidditch with no one to spot for him. I can still understand why he would do something like that. He really had to try to do something related to Quidditch so he could be involved again.

Author's Response: James wanted to end things on his terms, since everything else that's happening in his life is out of his control. He was very stupid to try and play Quidditch, but at the same time, it was a bit of a turning point in his recovery. It was necessary. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #4, by ngayonatkailanman The Break-Up

14th April 2015:
Oh no! My heart is breaking for Jmaes.

Author's Response: It's awful. He's so lost. Thanks for reading and reviewing! :)

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Review #5, by MargaretLane The Break-Up

14th April 2015:
Poor Albus. It must be awful to feel everybody else is doing so much better than you. Obviously, it's not a race or anything, but it must make him feel a bit incompetent.

I'd almost forgotten about Elsie. Hmm, I hope we get a bit more info on her and her family soon.

I don't think Kaden should be so dismissive of the harm done by committing crimes while impersonating people. After all Young nearly went to Azkaban for a crime he hadn't committed because of Boone's impersonation of him and Boone didn't even mean that. Some of the people jailed for crimes they didn't really commit during the Troubles are still suffering PTSD and other issues after their experiences. It might not KILL people, but setting somebody up for a crime you committed is still pretty serious and likely to have very severe lifelong implications for the person impersonated, especially if they never manage to prove their innocence and either spend their life in Azkaban or come out to find they are unemployable and depending on the crime, possibly treated as a pariah.

I can't help liking Burke, but I don't think funding his research is really justification for what he did. And I do wonder how much was about helping people and how much just his love of research.

And in the following line, they mention Young.

I don't think Burke is a bad person, but I do think you can believe somebody's done something seriously wrong and still believe they did other things that were good. Few people are one thing or the other. It must be hard though, to learn somebody you admired was involved in something seriously wrong. Somebody I admired was once accused of something illegal - not by the police or anything, just by somebody whose testimony I wouldn't be too convinced by anyway, but even that was enough to make me question how I judge people and to make me feel pretty uncomfortable, so I can kind of imagine how Kaden feels.

I wonder if Meg has already broken up with James. It doesn't SOUND that way exactly. It sounds more like she's looking for him to break up with him or something (yeah, I'm making assumptions from the title), but she might be worried if he disappeared after they broke up and it would certainly explain his disappearance.

Oh, the conversation between James and Albus is so sad. You've really managed to capture how much James has lost and how he is trying to hold onto any bit of hope that he might be able to play the game he loves again. The thought he'll never be able to play even for fun is even worse than thinking he'll never have a career in it.

Aw, I actually sort of like the way the break up happens. It's clear the whole situation was just too heavy for a teen relationship - well, for Meg; some teenagers could deal with it, but she doesn't seem to be able to - and it would probably be worse for them both in the end if she just stayed with him out of guilt or loyalty or because she was afraid other people would judge her. She'd probably end up resenting him and he'd feel guilty or resenting her for making him feel worse. It's probably for the best if they can break up amicably and remain friend, even though I'm sure it'll still hurt. But it's probably the least bad option.

I like the way you had Meg react actually. While some people would probably deal pretty well with a situation like this, others wouldn't and at her age, it's quite likely she didn't expect the situation to get so heavy. In fiction, it seems like the world is often divided up between those who deal really well with these situations and those who just don't care and cut the person off completely. Reactions like this seem to be underrepresented.

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Review #6, by bushytailed Captain Albus Potter

8th April 2015:
Oh my god. I love this story SO MUCH. I need to read more. WRITE MORE. I NEED TO KNOW IF JAMES RECOVERS. Also, is it bad that I ship Matt and Rose?

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Review #7, by MargaretLane Captain Albus Potter

7th April 2015:
We're actually getting some sunshine here - I mean, honestly, today is a typical Irish summer's day, and considering it was winter weather up until about three days ago - so I've only just settled down inside to read this.

Oooh, the psychology wing. That has me intrigued for rather obvious reasons.

Burke's immediate realisation that Johnson isn't there to make polite conversation amused me. He hasn't changed, even if he is extremely ill.

And I'm now intrigued by Burke's niece. Was she just playing middleman to help her uncle out or is she going to play a larger part in all this?

He seems fairly certain his niece won't give anything away. Is that just because he knows her and knows she's not the kind of person who can be browbeaten or is there something else going on? I'm starting to suspect there is something more going on here, but exactly what it could be, I don't know. I'm thinking of his possibly using her name without her knowledge or her having been involved in something illegal that goes deeper than just selling potions illegally to help her uncle and his agreeing to help her because it's the only way he can pay his medical bills.

He's almost admitted involvement, because how else could he know his niece had nothing incriminating? But not in a way that can be held against him or her and I doubt he cares anyway, since clearly they will never get him in court.

I've recently done a bit of plotting about my version of the wizarding legal system - basically as a future career for Rose. This is REALLY going off on a tangent, but you reminded me of it a little, as you go into a lot of detail about wizarding law here. Your version is pretty different and WAY more detailed than mine.

I can understand why Albus is rooting for Burke. He is being rather enigmatic. And, I'm not at all sure this makes much sense, but I think he is living up to his Irish name. Taunting the British was quite a thing in the days before independence, right down to replying in Irish to confuse them.

Aw, I like the part where Burke sends his apologies to Kaden.

I think you meant Johnson rather than Burke in the early part of this sentence: "
But regardless of Burkeís fruitless efforts in putting the person behind the illegal potions trade behind bars..."

I'm glad James' head injury is healing. When it comes to his general life, that would probably be a far greater problem than the hand. But the hand is bad enough. Poor James.

Three or four migraines a week is pretty bad too.

Hadn't realised Albus had played under that many captains, but I guess this is about his fifth year on the team, so it's hardly surprising.

Yeah, I can imagine being captain would put extra pressure on Albus. Poor guy. Especially as he's bound to want to win the Cup for James. Of course, he'd want to win anyway, but that adds an extra incentive.

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Review #8, by ngayonatkailanman Captain Albus Potter

7th April 2015:
Love the conversation between Burke and Johnson. I cannot help but rally behind Burke...just wish all of us could do this to all politicians. LOL.

Poor James.

Al is doing really well. What is happening to his friends while his attention is split between them and poor James? Will we have a peek at Ginny and the Healer's conversation?

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Review #9, by Liana Captain Albus Potter

7th April 2015:
I almost have a feeling that James will get better. Right now he's pouting. If he picks up his attitude he just might get better.

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Review #10, by Liana An Adjustment

7th April 2015:
Wouldn't it be cool if Burke left some money or potions recipes to Kaden? I hope something reasonable happens for James. He must be all kinds of depressed after his injury.

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Review #11, by Lumos Wolf An Adjustment

3rd April 2015:
Great Chapter. Can't wait to find out the results of James' scan. It's really good how you are so reliable with your uploads. Cya next weekend

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Review #12, by ngayonatkailanman An Adjustment

31st March 2015:
oh no! I have to wait for a full week to know about Al and Burke then to find out the results of James's scans. There is also the matter of Meg breaking off with James.

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Review #13, by MargaretLane An Adjustment

31st March 2015:
Yikes, James's silence is kind of worrying, particularly from him, as he REALLY didn't seem like a loner to ANY degree before his accident. Anybody secluding themselves more than usual after a traumatic event would be concerning, but when that person is normally very outgoing, it becomes even more so.

And the library isn't James's natural setting.

Maybe he could get an exemption from the practical exam? Here, blind students can have an exemption from questions including graphs and stuff and the marking scheme is changed, so they can get full marks on the rest of the paper. It's a hassle to correct, because the normal marking scheme becomes second nature after a while, so you really have to take care marking those papers.

Hmm, that part about not even trying to use his right hand kind of implies he doesn't WANT to know how it's doing, that he's afraid it won't have improved as much as he wants.

I like the name "Janus Thickery" ward.

Poor, poor Meg. She's still only a teen, after all, and this is pretty heavy stuff. She's probably used to relationships being more a source of fun than a source of obligation. And the guy she fancied seems to have disappeared completely.

I think it'd be understandable if she did break up with him, but then she'd probably feel SO guilty about hurting him when he's already dealing with so much. And it probably WOULDN'T be good for his mental health. But then, it's a lot to expect of a 17/18 year old girl, that she be responsible for somebody else's mental health.

I don't think he should tell James. It would upset and stress him and for all Albus knows, Meg might just have been sounding off. She didn't say she was GOING to break up with him, so I don't think Albus needs to know until she's made a decision. If he says anything and she decides to remain with him, James would probably end up doubting if she really loves him or if she's just staying with him out of pity and might feel guilty about the pressure he's putting on her. I can see why Albus would feel awkward about not saying anything - I'd find it very difficult myself - but I think it would be better.

I wonder if he has damage to a particular part of his brain. The fact he's remembering things with numbers could indicate something like that.

Lovely. All that noise in the waiting area won't exactly be good for James's headaches. That's good, that Healer Murdock appears to have considered that.

LOVE the comment about professional journals and stuff having unimaginative names. It sort of shows the minor details Albus is concentrating on while they are waiting for something to happen.

I'm looking forward to seeing if Albus finds Burke and what he finds out if he does.

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Review #14, by MargaretLane A New Seeker

25th March 2015:
Ugh, it's just occurred to me that this replacement really cannot end well. If they are as good as James, it's going to make him feel he was nothing special all along and like the team doesn't need him, but if they are NOT as good, he's going to feel he's let them down by getting injured and not being able to play. On the whole, I think James would prefer to see the team do well, even without him, but that too is bound to be hurtful.

I had to laugh at "third, if you are Hugo, you can't try out." Poor kid.

The imperfect ball might be better. It might make it harder to catch and rule out a few extra people.

That was my immediate assumption too - that being in either James's own year or Albus's, the sixth and seventh years might feel reluctant to take James's place.

Poor James. He really is having an awful time.

I can completely imagine why he wouldn't want to miss the trials and of COURSE he'd want to be involved in choosing his replacement.

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Review #15, by Liana A New Seeker

25th March 2015:
I know--I've been thinking that it's Saturday all week. I feel so bad for James. I still think he'll feel better when he gets up and around more. Since the accident he hasn't been getting a lot of exercise.

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Review #16, by Liana James's Return

25th March 2015:
Once again, I like how you bring things from Muggle life to Hogwarts--that would be the concept of special education and IEPs. You have to feel bad for James but Albus was right. James will build up his strength over time and find his body being more cooperative.

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Review #17, by ngayonatkailanman A New Seeker

24th March 2015:
Oh dear, I want to cry. Poor James. He has fallen so low from a very high place in Quidditch, bless him.

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Review #18, by Harrypotterfan James's Return

21st March 2015:
Wow this is one great story so far. Would have preferred a bit more romance of albus life but I finished this series in 2 days without sleeping much and I hope u do keep posting!

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Review #19, by MargaretLane James's Return

17th March 2015:
Happy St. Patrick's day.

Some of our politicians are probably over in New York actually, on the annual exodus.

*laughs* Yeah, I hadn't thought about that. Who'd believe a guy caught in a crime over somebody as well known as Burke.

*laughs at Rose objecting to the assumption all girls want to go to Madame Puddifoot's* Why doesn't that surprise me?

Yeah, I really don't think it'd be a good idea for Matt to drink.

And I think Matt in particular should understand about James needing the Marauder's Den, although, on the other hand, he might be worried about anybody else using it. I don't think John and Kaden would mind, not when it's James, who is hardly likely to care what they are plotting.

And people shouting like that, with his headaches, was never going to end well.

*laughs* The whole paperwork taking forever is pretty much the same here. Though of course, they have to process applications from hundreds of schools here, whereas wizarding Britain only has one.

I'm not surprised James is considering leaving school. Even under normal circumstances, I doubt his exams would be his top priority. And now...

And James's description of how he feels reminds me of the Spoon Theory. I don't know if you've read it.

Aw, I really like the last line.

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Review #20, by ngayonatkailanman James's Return

16th March 2015:
Aw! I love the big brother switch. It is just so sweet.

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Review #21, by GunnerBoy12 The Interrogation

14th March 2015:
Hey just a little friendly note I've noticed you've used 'oatmeal' a bit as the Potter's breakfast meal( and possibly else where -can't remember) in your Albus Potter series however as the Potters are English/British & live in England/Britain) they would call it porridge.

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Review #22, by PurpleShoes2 The Interrogation

10th March 2015:
Thank you for the quick update - I'm addicted to your story!

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Review #23, by MargaretLane The Interrogation

10th March 2015:
Hmm, I wasn't really expecting this title. It seems somewhat out of place with what has been going on in the last couple of chapters, and rather intriguing.

Oh gosh, that's a bit of a dilemma to be in. It's not a good time to raise the subject with James, but it wouldn't be fair to accept the position without asking his opinion, or to refuse it without doing so either.

I suppose it makes things a bit better that at least James had a pretty fair idea the issue would arise. I suppose he was bound to really. With James's love of Quidditch and his loyalty to his team, the question of who would replace him would be bound to be on his mind.

*grins* Extra time and a scribe are two of the "reasonable accommodations" you can get on the Leaving and Junior Certs., so I would imagine the N.E.W.T.S. would be similar. The school has to contact the State Examinations Commission here.

*laughs* I think Harry and Ginny might understand his doing underage magic under the circumstances.

It's a little coincidental that I'm reading Matt's comments about the laws regarding lycanthropy today, as I'm currently working on a chapter in which the laws regarding lycanthropy are being changed.

And yikes, I can't imagine how werewolves are supposed to find somewhere to rent under those conditions. I can't imagine anybody being too anxious to rent to somebody who could do the damage done to the Shrieking Shack, if the Wolfsbane failed, and considering how many werewolves appear to be unemployed or underemployed, it seems like a lot of them MIGHT be in the rental sector.

I can easily imagine why Albus wouldn't want to be a Seeker. It would just be inviting comparison with Harry, the youngest Seeker in was it a century?, Teddy, James. Of course, as a Chaser, he'd probably be compared to Ginny, but since she isn't as well known as "the Boy who Lived" and wasn't at Hogwarts with him, obviously, it's probably not quite as bad.

Hmm, that's a good excuse from Dawlish. Whatever Dawlish's agenda is, I suspect it IS an excuse, but it's a good one. Johnson can hardly argue with that.

Small thing, since we are talking about the wizarding world and who knows what their legal system is like, but the term "plea deal" is sort of American. Pretty sure they don't have the same kind of deals in the UK.

Well, at least whatever happens to Burke, Amy has the recipe for Matt's potion now. But yeah, putting a dying man in prison would be pretty horrific. I guess Burke has a lot of advantages over Boone though, as a well-known potioneer is more likely to have the powers-that-be prejudiced in favour of him, than against him.

And I'm a little reminded of the execution of James Connolly in 1916, who was shot tied to a chair as a result of his injuries. Let's just say, it wasn't one of the best ideas and probably contributed to the War of Independence. Not that the political situation in the wizarding world is the same and there's a difference between jailing somebody for brewing illegal potions and executing the leader of a rebellion, but still, the Ministry would want to be careful. They don't need much more negative publicity. After all, Fudge was forced to step down due to pressure from the public.

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Review #24, by ngayonatkailanman The Interrogation

10th March 2015:
Excellent and realistic description of someone who has had an accident. Love the dialogue between Al and James and between Matt and Al. Seems Matt has gained a lot of confidence and self-worth through Al's friendship. The relaxed way in which Al and Matt relate to each other shows their close friendship.

I look forward to the next update: What will happen to Burke?

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Review #25, by Liana The Interrogation

10th March 2015:
James seems to be handling the fact that he might not play Quidditch again. Unless he doesn't really understand. It's wonderful to see Matt finding Apparition as one of his skills. I'm not sure if Albus has time to be Quidditch captain. It just gives him something more to worry about.

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