Reading Reviews for In Retrospect
  
3 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Freda_and_Georgina In Retrospect

9th July 2014:
For the House Cup 2014 Review
Hmm, how mysterious!
I couldn't figure out whether the speaker was James or Albus at first, and I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to figure out this was some girl (that's not Rose), so I won't say how long it took.
Hmm, how odd. I wonder if they got into an argument about Scorpius dating Rose; that pairing is pretty popular.
Wait, a cliffhanger? :( I thought we were going to find out what's up between Scorpius and Albus, and how "act on their feelings" led to a prank war. My best theory is that they both have a crush with the speaker, but I can't be sure. Do they both love the speaker? I feel like I missed something... :( I didn't miss something, did I?
--Freda

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Review #2, by TidalDragon In Retrospect

19th April 2014:
Howdy! I'm R&R-ing all the Eggstravaganza pieces before voting, so here I am!

The first thing that struck me about your piece upon reflection was the different take on Albus and Scorpius. Not that there's anything wrong with it in itself, but it's such a common Next-Gen piece to have them be best friends with nothing coming between them. You flipped that a bit here, with them doing so, but then having a falling out centered around one of the most dangerous things possible for a pair of teenage boys - a girl.

I thought you did a good job setting the backdrop for your OC's existing relationship with Albus and how his change in behavior affected her. I'm not sure if it will be revealed later why it made her so paranoid (that word just seemed a bit excessive to me unless there's going to be something more), but seeing from your A/N that you also wrote this with a view to making it a longer piece, it's not a big worry.

Keeping that long view in mind, I think you also did a solid job developing your OC. It was a nice touch to address it obliquely through her commentary on her relationship with Albus and even through that approach we learned a good deal about her - she helps others, she is clumsy, but plays Quidditch, and she's not afraid of an argument.

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you! :)

I honestly don't read a lot of Next Gen (mostly just what I get on review requests), but I have seen that. I think that mostly Next Gen characters are written based on their names -Albus is calm, just like Dumbledore. James is mischievous, just like his grandfather. Lily is very smart, like her grandmother, and sweet, like Luna. I kind of want to make them their own individual selves instead of basing it on who they were named after. And I know this isn't the norm, but it's just what I've seen most of. And you're so right, she is so dangerous! Haha.

Thank you! I was afraid that since it's so short it would seem kind of random. So I'm glad that it didn't come off that way. I was never planning on writing a one shot about this, but when I saw the quote it just fit this so well! And I couldn't come up with anything else after that so I just focused on this. I feel kind of bad because I won't be writing the actual story for a long while... But hopefully it adds to what I have so far.

I'm always so afraid of character development, so I'm happy to see that I seem to be doing a good job at it. Thanks again for reading and reviewing, it means a lot :)


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Review #3, by UnluckyStar57 In Retrospect

18th April 2014:
Hoppy Eggstravaganza! :D

There are a lot of Prompt Threes for the first task of the Eggstravaganza, but yours is the first one I've read that isn't a girl! I find it very interesting to see all of our different takes on the same group of sentences. :)

Yours definitely seems interesting--especially since it's going to be a longer story later on! What is your main character's name? I guess that's not important in the context of this chapter, but I'm curious to know! She certainly has a lot of hostility towards Albus...

Speaking of Albus, why was he following her? Why did he stop speaking to Scorpius? When will you write another chapter so that these questions can be answered? I like that you built suspense with the exposition of Al and Scorp's falling out because it leaves something to look forward to!

Great job!

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Oh yay a review! Hi!

I have yet to read the other prompts, but that's interesting. I was already planning on starting this story in a bit, and thought this would be an interesting start :P

I kind of copped out because I haven't thought of one yet... Sorry do disappoint! I'll have to come up with something when I actually start it, but that won't be for a long while, so until then, I'm gonna take the easy way out! Haha lazy little me.

Again, sorry to disappoint! I don't want to expose everything just yet. Since it will be revealed when I write the actual story... Which like I said won't be for a long while... I feel like such a tease! Haha I'll let you know when I post it, how does that sound?

Thanks for reviewing!


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