13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by daliha for old times' sake.

16th September 2014:
I love the first part of this fic as much as the second, the first part I like how you describe Sirius's boredom rather than just tell us that he is bored, heck his routine was starting to bore me until you got to Remus alerting him of what was happening in the Department of Mysteries, my god after that I didn't want to read because I knew what was coming next. Anyway this is the most interesting death scene I've ever read, I like how you gave us one last good memory before his parting. Wonderful job you should be proud of this one-shot

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for the lovely swap, and for this wonderful review. :) I think you've pretty much got the point of this story. Sirius's boredom on his last day of life, and how all that rapidly escalates into the skirmish and his very sudden death. I did stretch out the death moment very lengthily indeed. I'm glad you thought it was an interesting death scene! I feel a bit sorry for Sirius. I am indeed quite happy with this one-shot; this is one of my current favourite one-shots that I've written.

Thank you, lovely! ♥

-teh


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Review #2, by potterhead1704 for old times' sake.

20th June 2014:
I love it ! P.s. nice name u have there :)

Author's Response: Thank you for reading! ♥ I'm glad you liked it. :) And glad you like my penname too. :P

-teh


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Review #3, by marauderfan for old times' sake.

30th April 2014:
Teh! first off congrats on the 24 hours challenge!!

I think it's no secret that I love Sirius. Your portrayal of him in his last 24 hours is really incredible and you were able to get into his head really well -and I can't imagine that was a particularly fun place to be for that point in his life. Like in the beginning, where I kind of hate both Sirius and Kreacher for being so mean to each other, but at the same time I can understand both of their points of view, and I feel bad for them, and how do you make me feel like 12 different feelings about this scene?! (answer: it's because you're an awesome writer) Um, I had to laugh at the "two hundred years later" part though :p

The next section was really intense as well because I feel so awful for Sirius being imprisoned again, how it's practically like Azkaban only instead of Dementors swooping around him, he's got his mother's portrait screeching at him. And how all he can do is feel selfish that he's sitting there safe while everyone else is in danger. I think I'd go crazy in that situation too. You can really see his mental stability crashing here, how the call to action is almost a game to him. He's been stuck in the house (and stuck in his own head) so long that danger is the most exciting thing for him. Gahh

But I really love the section as he's falling through the veil WOW. Your word choice is, as always, fantastic (throughout the whole story, really, but this part it stood out so much. I love the way you described the aorta and all these really technical things because it's like you zoomed in and time slowed down, like time is only passing in that one spot as he's bleeding, and seeing images of his past almost as if he's watching them through the veil. Which, I suppose, he sort of is.

This was a superb one-shot, Nicole! Sometimes when I review your stories I feel like a human thesaurus just spouting off synonyms for "amazing". Anyway, you did an amazing job ;)

Author's Response: Kristin! ♥ aslkjdlk THANK YOU!

Blown away by your comments as usual, thank you so muchly much.

Sirius's head is not a fun place to be at all. :O And him and Kreacher have this awful relationship; they're both trapped by their circumstances and by each other, and I'm so pleased that you managed to feel pity for Kreacher as well. Aww, aww, I'm sorry you had to go through all those twelve different feelings, whatever they were!

I was indeed writing Sirius as losing touch with things a little, unable to see clearly the consequences of his actions and recklessness. The whole battle feels like a game to him, or maybe he's been holed up for so long that he's decided he'll completely throw himself at the first bit of action that comes along.

I'm glad you like the veil bit; that was my favourite part to write! And heavily influenced by Tobias Wolff's short story as well. I always love getting technical about things, and I'm so glad you got the feel of time slowing down suddenly and the pacing of the story coming to a halt.

Thanks so much for this fabulous review, Kristin! You're waaay too kind. ♥


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Review #4, by Unwritten Curse for old times' sake.

29th April 2014:
NICOLE. STOP IT. STOP BEING SO BRILLIANTLY TALENTED.

Just kidding. Don't stop. Because then I wouldn't have any more of your stories to read, and I would be quite empty if that were the case.

I came to review for my challenge and then forgot this was a challenge halfway through. The narrative swallowed me, as your writing tends to do. I'm afraid that this review is going to be another indecipherable squee. Please don't hate me.

Okay, so my favorite part of this story was the whole thing, but my favorite favorite part was actually when the Order was heading to help Harry and co. at the Ministry and Sirius was making giddy smalltalk while the others were essentially brushing him off. It's Sirius to a tee, because he's relieved to finally be out of his house/slightly mad for being turned prisoner again/anticipating the excitement of battle. I loved the complexity in that simple scene. It was magically done. That and the scene with the wine glasses and Kreacher. (I laughed aloud at the "Two hundred years later")

And your language. Oh, Nicole, your language. I would quote my favorite line, but, again, I'd be quoting the entire piece. Such creative turn of phrase. You make even the smallest, simplest moments into something memorable.

I ENVY YOU.

Oh, I can't end this review without asking you one question re: the ending. Was the "I am, I am, I am" a wave to Sylvia Plath? I read it as such and for that reason was in tears.

Thank you for entering this challenge.

xx Gina

Author's Response: OHMYGOSH GINA. WHAT IS THIS AMBUSH OF COMPLIMENTS!?!

♥ ♥

Eep, eep eep what do I /say/ to a review like this! THANK YOU. I could NEVER hate you, lovely. Your squees made me squee myself, and I'm honestly so pleased you enjoyed this! I've been wanting to write a fic on Sirius's death for a long time, and your challenge really helped kick-start my dormant plunny into life.

Oh, I'm glad you like those reckless Sirius scenes, where he seems unable to take things seriously (oh dear, excuse the pun!). Yeah, he is indeed relieved to be out of that suffocating house; I also like to think that he's lost touch with reality a little. Or that he's been so isolated that he's determined to throw himself out there completely, without a thought for the consequences. I do feel that, if he'd thought a lot more about Harry and what would happen to his godson if he, the godfather, died, he wouldn't be so reckless.

Aww, I love what you say about the simplest, smallest moments. ♥ I /love/ writing about the mundane things of life; I like to analyse them and observe them and possibly find special things in them, so your words are just such a massive compliment.

Yay, you're the only reviewer to think of Plath! I was definitely thinking of 'The Bell Jar' when choosing those words, but I was also thinking of Tobias Wolff's short story, 'Bullet in the Brain', which influenced this story. His story ends on a similar note, but his words are 'They is, they is, they is.' I can never hope to emulate either of these writers.

Thank YOU for setting this challenge and for reading and for reviewing and for being such a wonderful friend! ♥



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Review #5, by Aphoride for old times' sake.

28th April 2014:
Hey there! A little later than I planned - but revision comes first, unfortunately! Anyway, I'm here now! :)

So I was so excited to see we were paired up in the Review Exchange, since I love all of your writing I've read so far, but am honestly running low on excuses and reasons to read fanfiction during my self-imposed revision exile-type thing :P So yeah, this was perfect!

Can I just say, before anything else, that I love Sirius as a character? I love love love exploring him - so I was so intrigued to see your take on him, you know, since you tend to do such interesting and new versions of characters.

As expected, of course, I love this! I love your Sirius - how he's so childish and impetuous but so desperate to be doing something - anything - useful, and how he's so bored inside the house. He's such a wonderful combination of bitter and spiteful and malicious, and loyal and brave and reckless - it's a brilliant balance and I love how it shows different sides to him, you know? Coz I've never thought of him as a wholly nice or good character...

The little mentions in this were brilliant, too - Kreacher and how cruel Sirius is to him (always yelling for him, sneering at him, blackmailing him into doing what Sirius wants... kinda makes me feel sorry for him, you know?), the mention of Dumbledore arranging for Sirius to get the news so he's at least not completely in the dark, Remus and Tonks (yay! :D)... they just really fill the whole thing out so beautifully!

Of course, your writing is gorgeous. I'm completely amazed at how with each thing I read, your style and voice almost changes to match each character, while still retaining something of your writing in it, if that makes sense. It's incredible. I don't honestly think I could do that even if I tried, so seriously! Impressed, here! ;)

I know this was for a last twenty-four hours challenge, but I love how you've used that to show us so much of his character and so much of his misery, and show us things adjacent to canon? Like a missing moments kinda thing...

So yeah, I love this. The way you write Sirius is just amazing. You should really write more of him! ;) I'm so glad I had an excuse to read this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey hey, Aph! Nah, no worries about the wait; I don't mind at all! :D

Gah, THANK YOU for this phenomenal review ♥ Seriously, your compliments are just alskdjlkc I feel like I'm not worthy. Oh, I'm glad you got to read about a character that you love! I was never really into Sirius...until I started writing this fic. And it was fascinating exploring his character, which you pretty much analysed so perceptively.

He definitely wasn't portrayed as a wholly good / nice character in the books - well, Harry sort of half-worshipped Sirius in the books, - but really, he had a ton of faults. And Sirius is definitely unkind to Kreacher; I'd say that his long confinement has made him lose touch with others a bit, made him isolated to the point that he's unable to empathise with certain others. Ah, I'm glad you mentioned Dumbledore sending him news; I was kinda proud of that tiny (but rather insignificant) detail!

Thank you so much! Your compliment about my changing style and voice just absolutely made my day! I do indeed like to tailor my narrative voice to that of my main characters; it may sound strange, but as the author I'm trying to take myself out of the story more often, and let my characters develop their own voice, and the story its own style.

I do have another Sirius one-shot in the works, but it's a little weird at the moment, ha! I'm glad you had an excuse to read this oneshot of mine too! Your review was an absolute joy to receive! ♥

-teh


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Review #6, by patronus_charm for old times' sake.

21st April 2014:
Whoo, for Sirius fics, I feel as if we need to start a trend for them as he really is a fab character and this was a fab story, as usual, teh!

Ah, your Sirius was fab! There was this weird energy, I guess pent up energy, throughout this one-shot and really made me agitated, and wanting to run around which just showed how well you wrote Sirius as I really could imagine how much he just wanted to be free and outside. Another thing I really liked was because he lost his youth in Azkaban, he was still mucking around, getting drunk, cracking jokes in a serious (haha, didnít intend the pun) situation whereas the others realised what was going, and that subtle difference in their maturity was really great.

I just loved all the canon things you included, there were so many from Kreacher, Buckbeak, the painting, a mention of Ronks (and I was just like ♥ ♥) and all the Order. I just admire how many things and people you included in quite a short story and they all had a purpose. I donít know why I admire that trait so much but whenever someone manages to do that itís just like whoo, so whoo!

Ooh and the fighting was super cool! I donít think Iíve read a fighting scene by you but write more, as this was great and so much fun! I really loved reading it from Siriusí perspective as it made it a lot more fun than from Harryís, as Sirius was just thinking of it as a game and Iím surprised he didnít saying whoo one point for me for hitting you and two points to Remus or whatever, because that was the energy he was projecting.

The afterlife ending thing was so super cool too! It had that lovely ethereal feel to it like in your other one-shot, and it felt all dreamy and sleeping I thought I was going to start floating around or something. It was just written fantastically as there were moments of reality when the boy made the serious joke, but then other points such as the end with the repetition it had this supernatural feel and the blend of all of that was really great!

Another fab one-shot!

♥ Kiana

Author's Response: Gah, Kiana, thanks for yet another brilliant review! ♥

And yay for Sirius fics as well! I'm beginning to like them more...Hogwarts-Era Sirius or post Lily-and-James Sirius, rather than schoolboy Sirius.

This was written with only the Last 24 Hours Challenge, which is why there's that long, lagging section at the beginning where nothing happens. :P I love how you mentioned pent-up energy and agitation, because that's exactly what I was aiming to achieve - Sirius is indeed very frustrated with his state of confinement. He's a free spirit, and this sort of life is the thing that he detests. He'd rather be out there risking his life than hiding and doing nothing, even if he is safe.

And yeah, he is indeed mucking around, even in serious situations - like it's all a big game to him. My thought with that was, being isolated from everyone for so long - first Azkaban, and now Grimmauld Place, made him lose touch a little with reality. He is also unnecessarily cruel to Kreacher and to his mum's portrait and whatnot because he can't see beyond himself and his feelings of isolation, which sort of choke him off, makes him unable to empathise with others, somehow.

Haha, glad you like the canon details! Since this is a Trio Era fic, I thought it would be appropriate to include them, hence ROnks and the Order etc.

MOAR FIGHTING THEN? OKAY. *makes note to self*

Ah, I'm glad you like the ending! That was my favourite part to write. That floaty feeling is exactly what I wanted to convey; it's where the notions of time and space start to break down for Sirius as he drifts into death.

I COULD NOT RESIST THE SERIOUS JOKE. IT'S SIRIUS, I MEAN THAT'S HIS LAST MEMORY EVARRR. lol.

Thank you, my dear ♥ ♥ ♥


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Review #7, by MidnightBlue_x for old times' sake.

19th April 2014:
Hi, it's ElysiumJayne here!

Firstly, I'd like to thank you for entering my challenge. I hope you enjoyed it! Secondly, I know I said I couldn't accept this story as Sirius, but I just have to mention how amazingly you've written him. I've never read anything like this, and I really enjoyed it.

I know Bellatrix's part was only very small, but I liked seeing her from Sirius' view (well, sort of). I especially loved the nickname!

Once again, thank you for entering my challenge. I really think you did a wonderful job with this piece!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hey Ely!

Thank you for this lovely review! I most certainly enjoyed participating in your challenge; I don't really know the Black family that well, and writing this fic certainly helped me learn a few more things about them - or at least Sirius. I'm glad you like the way I wrote Sirius!

Ah, yes, Bella's part is regrettably tiny. I wish I could've written a separate fic for her for this challenge, but I didn't have time, unfortunately. And I'm glad you like that rather silly nickname she had. It just seems so incongruous with her vicious character! I have to credit The Mistfit / apondinabluebox for the name 'Trixie'.

Thank you so much again, Ely! This was a wonderufl review to receive. :D

-teh


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Review #8, by kenpo for old times' sake.

15th April 2014:
Hello! I don't know, but I think this is my first visit to your author's page. Is that the case? I'm not sure. If it is, many apologizes!!
I think the way you portrayed Sirius was absolutely brilliant. You seem to have focused on getting a great depth of knowledge for his character, and that made this a really fantastic story.

I love how to highlighted his flaws, like his inability to treat Kreacher with any respect and the way he's a little bit too excited to go fight. How he was a little too excited to see Harry as the new James.

You also highlighted what... it could be considered a good or bad thing. The way he felt guilty that he wasn't protecting Harry, like James did. He's so fiercely loyal and protective.

Oh! I love the title.

And I loved that you switched to present tense there at the end. It... brought the story into the present. Well, duh, but it created a really nice effect to the reader.

My other favorite part was Sirius' interactions with Remus. They're so different, but Sirius finds Remus almost endearing.

Overall, this was a really fantastic one-shot. Good luck with the challenges!

Unrelated to the actual story, but I liked your Author's Note! It gave me an image of a really genuine, intelligent, sweet author behind the story.

-Huffleclaw Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza-

Author's Response: Hello!

Wow, thanks for stopping by and leaving such a lovely review! This was a wonderful surprise, and it absolutely made my day. :)

Aww, I'm so glad you like the way I portrayed Sirius; he wasn't a character that I really enjoyed reading about before writing this fic, and I think I might still have some problem reading Marauder-Era Sirius, but I've really loved writing this, and it's made me understand his character a little more.

I'm glad you noticed all his flaws in the story. He is indeed unnecessarily cruel to Kreacher, and at times, displays spite toward his 'prison', or anything that reminds him of his hated childhood. And definitely, he's much too excited about fighting, so much so that he becomes reckless and ends up dying unnecessarily. He almost takes it as a game. My intention with all these things was to show that Sirius had been trapped for so long (both in Azkaban, and now in Grimmauld Place), that he has lost touch with things a little. He's been isolated for so long, and it's simply an awful, awful situation to be in.

Yay for the title! I really like it as well; initially I was having such a hard time thinking of one, and then this turned up. :P I'm so pleased with it.

And I could seriously hug you for noticing the shift to present tense at the end! That was how the original story 'Bullet in the Brain' by Tobias Wolff was written, and I liked that story so much that I imitated the structure of his ending. It certainly brings this to the present; I deal with time a lot in this fic, since it's the last 24 hours of his life, and with the present moment and death, I wanted to break down any sense of linear time completely. It's the end of all time for Sirius, and the reader can take it in a good way or a tragic way.

Baha, that's a really sweet thing to say about the A/N. You're a lovely reviewer yourself!

Thank you so much for this really perceptive and detailed review! ♥

-teh


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Review #9, by MissesWeasley123 for old times' sake.

13th April 2014:
What the heck teh.

How do I even review this piece. I am in so much eurgh right now.

Sorry I don't know how to review after this piece.

Your writing is absolutely brilliant. Brilliant brilliant brilliant. And I, unlike Sirius, was not bored. Bored, bored, bored.

I am. I seriously can't express why.

DUDE.
ugh. ♥

Your writing is superb. That is all. I thoroughly enjoyed being with Sirius till his end, and now I demand you write about Regulus. Yep.

You are amazing.

Author's Response:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy, when skies are grey
you never know dear, how much I love you
please don't take my sunshine away.


♥ ♥

THANK YOU NADIA.

and I say you are the amazing one.


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Review #10, by TidalDragon for old times' sake.

12th April 2014:
Howdy! I am dropping by to leave reviews on all the other stories in the challenge as they're posted, so I was excited to see yours about Sirius!

I thought yours was strong with description, word choice, and characterization from the start. The detail you opened with set the stage well and Sirius's drinking and the picture you painted of him stacking the glasses sort of captured Sirius at his core - capable of disarming humor, but also volatile and irrevocably tinged by bouts with negative emotions after all he has lived through.

While I was not as big a fan of the second segment of the story, heavily laden with the effects of Sirius's drinking, I did think you involved Lupin and elements of Grimmauld Place well and that it did capture the despairing uselessness Sirus must have felt in the days and months before his death.

To me the best part was your segment involving the Department of Mysteries at the finish. It was an intriguing notion to me, the idea that the force of the spell and internal injuries would have taken his life, veil or no veil. While calling Bellatrix "Trixie" is not my cup of tea, you did an exceptional job drilling down into the finest details of Sirius's last moments - what he focused on and what he didn't and the last things he perceives from within the room - the internal thoughts were beautifully written.

Good luck!

Author's Response: Oh, hello there! What a lovely surprise review! Thank you so, so much for stopping by and taking the time to read; that's very generous of you, by the way, to review all the challenge entries!

I'm glad you thought the characterisation was strong, because this is a character-focused fic, after all. I love your description of Sirius, "capable of disarming humour, but also volatile and tinged by bouts of negative emotions". That's pretty much him, yep.

Glad you thought I used the setting and Lupin's character well; I did intend both of the above to depict Sirius's sense of entrapment and helplessness; I also think that it was mentioned in OotP that he was drinking, Harry noticed it. I don't think he'd have gone too overboard with this, but it would have had some effect on him.

Thank you! I'm glad you like the Department of Mysteries section. That was me pushing canon a little over there, and also my favourite part to write! Gah, your compliments are just too flattering!

Thank you once again for this amazing review :)♥ Best of luck with the challenge!

-teh


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Review #11, by Infinityx for old times' sake.

12th April 2014:
teh. Ohmygosh. You made me cry.
Wow. wow wow wow.
How are you so amazing? HOW?! :'(
You are brilliant. Really, I feel ashamed of the way I write now. This was just...wow.
I'm going to read it again now. And cry again.

Erin.

Author's Response: Erin! ♥

Aww, aww, I'm so sorry you cried! *hands over tissues* This fic was for the Last 24 Hours Challenge on the forums, so yeah, poor Sirius has to die in this fic :( :( I felt so sad writing this too.

What? What is this 'feeling ashamed about the way you write' thing?!?!? You are a SUPER TALENTED writed. I know, because I've read some of your stuff!!

But thank you so, so, so much for stopping by to read and review, Erin! This was such an unexpected review, and such a lovely surprise, and I know you cried and all that (sorry!) but gah, your review just made me so incredibly happy. THANK YOU. (And for favouriting as well! This honestly made my whole night!!

teh


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Review #12, by Hogwarts27 for old times' sake.

11th April 2014:
Hi, I'm reading all the challenge entries, and enjoyed this very much. I found the pace a bit slow at the beginning, but once some action started happening, it picked up nicely. I also enjoyed the vivid descriptions throughout the story, and I like that this entry had enough events and character encounters to make it feel like a story instead of just being in a character's head. The way you treated Sirius going through the veil was original and creative. Good luck in the challenge.

Author's Response: Oh, hey there! What a lovely surprise review! Thank you very much for dropping by and taking the time to read and review; I appreciate this muchly.

I'm actually glad you found the pace slow in the beginning. :) I was working around with pacing and the concept of time in this fic - I couldn't resist, as this is the last 24 Hours challenge after all. Things were meant to be slow, stagnant almost, for Sirius trapped in Grimmauld Place, before events accelerate sharply, and then I tried to break down time right at the end, where things became very slow again.

And yeah, I know what you mean about this feeling 'like a story' instead of just being in a character's head; I prefer to write this way, actually, instead of getting too intropsective. :)

Thank you so much for reviewing and reading, and good luck with the challenge as well!

-teh


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Review #13, by rhpsfanatic for old times' sake.

11th April 2014:
Ahhh! I love it!! Big fan of Sirius fanfics and this is so good!

Author's Response: Awww, thank you so, so much for stopping by and reading! I'm so glad you liked it! ♥

-teh


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