Reading Reviews for Runaway
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Aphoride Should Have Seen it Coming

12th April 2014:
Hey there - dropping by for our review swap! :)

Okay, so I love reading stories about Sirus, particularly about Sirius and his family - they're so rare, you know? - because I'm so absolutely fascinated by them, so when you said this one, I'd already planned to go for this one when I saw your name up ;)

But yeah, I liked how you characterised Sirus - you kept him so close to canon: impulsive, reckless, completely devoid of planning of any kind, emotional (in a way) and so sort of uncaring and just defiant and rebellious. I liked how the whole thing was really, almost, in the end just to annoy his father - it seems a very Sirius-like reason to run away, even if just in the moment!

The details were brilliant here, too - how he changed into Padfoot and didn't want to be spotted, the little mentions of Regulus and how it was his job to be the good son, the gravy on the girl's head (which made me both laugh and wince, because gravy in your hair would not be nice at all!)... it was really, really good! :)

I loved the ending, too - how he just turned up at James' house, kinda wild and almost insane - it really fits him as a way to be, you know, and sort of reminded me of when he escapes from Azkaban - how wild and mad he is then. I don't know if it was something you were going for - but I liked the similar imagery. It worked well! ;)

I loved the way the ending section with James' parents and Sirius practically breaking into their house, lol, was so concise - it make sense, seeing that he's perhaps a bit mad and not really thinking straight and adrenalin is everywhere... it's a bit short, maybe, but I think it works! :)

So yeah, I really enjoyed reading this! I've always wanted to see a story about Sirius running away - now you've written it :P

Thanks so much for the read and the swap! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Aph, hey!

Hehehe, I'm glad to hear that, and yes I have noticed how little people deal with Sirius' relationshi with his family directly, except maybe his brother - we don't get to see him interacting with his parents a lot in FF.

Ooh yay, I'm so glad you think that Sirius was characterised well! Yeah, all those values you just listed are in canon and I'm super happy that you got to see them all in Sirius. Yeah, I think he did need a proper trigger reason to want to leave hom, and I think it would fit his character well if he did it just to annoy his father in the end.

Ahh, I'm so glad you think the details were well done! I'm always trying to add some more details to my stories because I think that it really adds to the story and I'm just really happy to hear you say the details in this were good, so thank you! Oh no, gravy in your hair would not be nice at all, even if you could get rid of it straightaway. :P

Yeah, I was aiming for a bit of foreshadowing there, like how he was on the run for two weeks when later he would be on the run for two years, but I didn't really plan this wild, insane sort of writing, it just happened and I'm really glad that you think it adds to the story instead of taking away from it. :)

Hahaha, I'm so glad you like it! It is short and a bit unclear, maybe, so I might go back and add some deatails, but it's really great that you think that works well!

I'm really happy this managed to fulfill your desire for a Sirius running away story, and I'm so glad you enjoyed this!

Thank you for the swap and the lovely review, I really enjoyed it! :D


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Review #2, by keyty Family

11th April 2014:
This is just so sweet! I love seeing them happy, because they suffer so much later. But let's not think about that. I love how apprehensive Sirius is around James's parents. In my fic he's the total opposite and calls them Mum and Dad :P But this works too, since he's just met them and all. I just love everything about this. It's so sweet and happy and I just wish their lives would stay that way forever.
Congrats on finishing your first fic! It's brilliant!

Author's Response: Yay! I know, they're so unhappy and everything is just so grim and awful for them later in life so I would feel guilty if I didn't write them being happy now, while they can. Hahaha yeah, I'm glad you liked his apprehensiveness in this fic even though yours is different, but since he has just met them and they're doing him an immense service I thought he ought to be nervous.

Thank you so much for review-bombing this story keyty, you're amazing. Thank you! ♥ ♥


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Review #3, by keyty Refuge

11th April 2014:
Hello again!

This chapter is so lovely. I like seeing Sirius transition to a loving family, it must be such a culture shock! Their interaction in James's bedroom seemed so normal, I loved it. Nothing outrageous, nothing exciting, just two mates hanging out. Just what Sirius needed.
The bit about being on the run for two weeks got to me. So ironic that later he's on the run for two years. I'm not okay. But that last bit about James's mum is super cute. Almost made up for my feels about him being on the run.

Anyway, loving this!

Author's Response: Hello again!

Ah, I'm so glad you think so! Bahaha yes I think it was a bit of a culture shock for poor old Sirius, especially after being a dog for so long. Yay, I'm so happy that their interaction seemed normal - I wanted to portray just two friends hanging out, and I'm glad you think it was natural. Yeah, that is exactly what Sirius needs! :D

Oh no. :'( I know, I'm sorry. *hugs tightly* I'm so glad you thought it was cute, I'm loving James' mum right now. And I hope your feels feel better soon!

Thanks for another lovely review keyty. :D


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Review #4, by keyty Should Have Seen it Coming

11th April 2014:
Hi! Always love a good Sirius fic!
Pretty much everything I've read with him focuses on his promiscuous tendencies, so this is a nice change. Marauders fics (mine included) tend to shy away from showing his home life, but I think you did it quite nicely here. I like the idea that they wanted him to stay, for whatever reasons they may have. For some reason I always imagined them as not caring much about him, kind of just letting him escape. This is better, he had to make a conscious decision to disobey them in the worst way possible. And I like that it took him a while to get to James's house, instead of him getting instant gratification.
One CC I would have is that for a bit towards the end you shifted from past to present tense and then back. The change isn't very long so it should only take a couple minutes to fix. Other than that I think you did a wonderful job! On to the next chapter :)

Author's Response: Hey there! Haha I know. :')

I actually really don't like that everyone assumes that he's the playboy sort because he's good looking, so yeah, I didn't focus on that at all. I'm glad you liked the change!

I actually haven't read much about his home life, and I'm really happy this did an okay job of filling in the gaps for you and that you think I did an okay job at showing his home life. I think that his parents would have wanted him to be who they wanted him to be, and couldn't accept that he wasn't, if that made sense at all...so yeah, he had to run away. :P

Oh dear, did I? Thank you for pointing that out, I'll go fix it when I have the time.

Thanks for an amazing review, keyty!


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Review #5, by MEW Refuge

10th April 2014:
That was quick! it's so weird to see James as a son! nice story :)

Author's Response: Hehe, I know right? The validators are amazing. :D Oh, was it? I hope I did him some justice then. Thank you for the lovely reviews! *squishes*

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Review #6, by LightLeviosa5443 Should Have Seen it Coming

10th April 2014:
Hi!

Here for the BvB review battle!

This was a really awesome story!! I really enjoyed the way that you narrated the whole story, and had Sirius consider leaving. I've always wondered how he did it, and I love that you chose to start FROM there.

I really enjoyed the imagery you used when you were describing him leaving the house, and then trotting through London. I can only imagine James' parents horror when his friend (who i'd imagine is smelly now) walks in saying he left. I'd probably freak out a bit if it was me.

My only critique would be maybe say a bit more about Sirius walking into James' house, because that seen is a little fuzzy and vague. Did he just walk in? Did James let him in and then brought Sirius into the kitchen?

Otherwise this was really really great! Wonderful job!!

xoxo Sarah ♥

Author's Response: Hey there Sarah!

Yay, I' so glad you liked this! I waned to go with the standard third person narration with this, but I'm so glad that you liked it! I know, I've always wondered exactly how he managed to leave, I'm glad this managed to sort of fill in the gaps for you.

Wow, thank you! I've never really considered myself good with prose/imagery so to hear you say that the imagery was nice means a lot to me! :) Bahaha nah, I put in a different reaction because this is James' parents and they're lovely and I want Sirius to be happy because he's not really before this.

Okay, I'll have a look at that ad try to make the image a bit clearer for you lovely readers.

Thank you so much for this lovely review Sarah! ♥


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Review #7, by MEW Should Have Seen it Coming

10th April 2014:
Nice! I love it! just wish it was a little bit longer, some more action! I especially loved the first part, not to much drama, usually kind of overdo this scene, but you left space for some humor!
Ow! this is not a one-shot? I'll look forward for the rest of it!
love- MEW

Author's Response: Hi MEW! I'm so glad you liked it, and yes, I think there will be two more chapters in this. I'm really glad you thought that this wasn't too dramatic and that you think it had a touch of humour, I was aiming for that.

Haha no, this isn't a oneshot, and I hope you like the rest of it! I fact I just pput the next chapter in the queue, so hopefully that'll be out soon. Thanks so much for a lovely review. :D


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