Reading Reviews for Inside
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kenpo Inside

4th May 2014:
Hello! Here for the BvB battle!

Okay, I know that you have a thing for minor characters, but I LOVE what you chose for this challenge. Really fantastic idea.

Something I try to do in my own writing is give a good transition from thought to narrative while writing in the third person, and I think you do that really well. I'll have to come reread this when I'm struggling with it (So later today, most likely :P)

Wow. This was really fantastic. I usually try to stop and make a comment every few paragraphs, but all of a sudden I was at the end!!

This was SO SAD. But... also funny? I laughed but I'm also really sad?

It has to be enormously frustrating for him. I always wonder about coma patients that are aware of what's going on around them but can't communicate... it would be awful.

This is one of those stories that's really made me think... I'm not sure if I'm mad at you about that or not. (narrows eyes).

Something that I liked was that he doesn't really seem like a great guy. He doesn't seem like a bad person, but even considering his understandable frustration, I'm not totally sure I'd like to spend time with him. I like that in writing.

Something I really liked about this, and I'm not sure it was intentional, was that you focused on him wanting to be treated like an adult. People tend to not know how to treat people with disabilities and end up treating them like children. It's almsot always not meant to be demeaning at all, but... it happens.

What's really horrible about this is that Bode KNEW what the plant was but couldn't say anything.

As usual, you wrote this brilliantly and you're a fantastic writer. You took one part of one chapter and crafted it into this amazing story.

-Georgia

Author's Response: Hi Georgia!

For a long time I always wrote in third person, and it feels natural - I recently discovered the joys of first person and I find I write it in a similar way but I'm limited to one character rather than jumping between them like I do in some other fics. Everything is from his POV, just some of it is what he sees and some is his opinions on what he's describing.

It's something I've considered a lot, actually, whether certainly people with severe learning disabilities (speech disorders) are perfectly normal inside but can't express that. And how they must feel at being treated differently to others but be unable to complain. So yeah, it was intentional focusing on him wanting to be treated like an adult, because as you say it's meant in a nice way but it must be so horrible for people having to put up with being treated like that.

Why are you narrowing your eyes at me? *narrows eyes back* There's nothing wrong with thinking. In fact us 'Claws enjoy considering new ideas and challenging things which are usually taken for granted! :D

He's not someone I'd like to work with. Not a hero, not a villain, just an unpleasant guy with an inflated opinion of himself and rather cut off from normal society.

And the plant got him the moment he realised what had happened. At the moment in his dream he touched the thing that left him in that state.

Thank you :D

- Leonore


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Review #2, by patronus_charm Inside

4th May 2014:
Hi there!

I really loved this one-shot as it was a story which made me wonder why on earth have I never paid enough attention to Bode before, and those stories are the best ones in my opinion. I loved his characterisation with the way he just wants to break free from this boredom and tedium of life at St. Mungoís. I could tell he had a logic mind with the way he conceded it was safer there, but just the way he wanted to break free and be back at the Ministry was really interesting and showed how passionate he was about his work.

There was the dash of humour in there too which made me laugh so much, as it was just such an unexpected twist, but one which seemed to go so well. I loved his general disdain of the healers and nurses and how they patronised him in his opinion. It must have been quite a shock to have this role reversal with him being the inferior one after knowing all the secrets of the Department of Mysteries, so it was a really interesting perspective to include.

Another thing I loved was how you included some lovely description throughout and his whole life at St. Mungoís really came alive to me, so I could really enjoy it.

The ending with the plant was so great! I loved how he had realised what it was earlier on but I couldnít tell them what it was. Ok, it sounds horrible saying love, but I loved the irony of it, and the way it was always lurking away in the back of his mind no matter what. The suddenness of it cutting off just as it went around his throat was great and it meant we really got to see his last moments and fully enjoy them which was really cool.

This was such an interesting one-shot!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Yay! This has improved my mood so much (I was genuinely swearing at my textbook because it is so badly written...)

Poor old Bode, no-one cared about him... I like minor characters. A lot.

You're the first person to really comment on humour in my stories. He has this really high opinion of himself and he can't argue with the way they think of him, so you get the pompousness even when he's helpless. Which, yeah, is kind of funny. Though he clearly wouldn't agree :P

Thanks! I have some really intense emotional scenes in other fics, but I can hardly say I grew to love Bode! So he didn't get a sad tear-jerker death scene. He had a sudden violent death at the hands of a plant that he knew was dangerous at the moment he succeeded in figuring out what he'd been looking for (which he'd been convinced knowing would show him how to escape). Dreaming of the the moment that had put him in the hospital finished the job. Ironic. (And that paragraph probably makes no sense. Oh well.)

Thank you for the amazing review! I might just refrain from throwing my textbook across the room... :P

I'm in a crazy mood. I should not be communicating with human beings right now. I am. Sorry.

- Leonore


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Review #3, by Unwritten Curse Inside

29th April 2014:
Hi there! I have finally got around to reading and reviewing all the entries! Woo!

First, I have to say that I'm so glad you chose Broderick Bode for this challenge. I wasn't familiar with his backstory so I looked it up and it's so fascinating (and heartbreaking). That he was finally starting to get better when he was killed by a "present" from Death Eaters. So sad.

I think you handled the situation very well. His frustration at feeling better yet being kept in the hospital, paired with his desperation to remember what happened was authentic and moving. I'm not sure what happens after a wizard recovers from the Imperius Curse, but this was a compelling interpretation.

Seriously, I just love minor characters. There is so much left open to explore. So thank you for going a lesser-known route. It made this piece all the richer. And thank you for entering the challenge. I genuinely enjoyed your entry!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi!

I like minor characters. A lot. Bode is not the most obscure I've done! I could tell he wasn't one of the really obscure ones when I found myself having to rethink bits of the story to fit canon :P (like he apparently believed he was a teapot)

By the way, he was actually recovering from being forced to touch the prophesy - not just from the Imperius Curse. And of course he felt better but he wasn't - he still had very little control over his body.

Really glad you enjoyed it - and if you love minor characters I have plenty! (Hey, I wrote 5 chapters on the first muggle-born minister for magic, who only appears on Pottermore!)

Thank you for the challenge - it was great fun to enter! (I did start this story straight away, then shelved it for a while until I could panic over the approaching deadline...)

- Leonore


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Review #4, by luvinpadfoot Inside

18th April 2014:
Hi! Here with that promised review. :)

How delightfully obscure! I must admit, I don't think I've ever given more than two thoughts to Broderick Bode. It took me a few minutes to place him at all. Did you pick him or was he assigned? Either way, it made for a really interesting story!

The thing that was in my mind the whole time was how unpleasant he was. I understand that his current situation is not the greatest, but it seemed more than that- like he was just generally an unpleasant person. That really worked for me. His almost arrogance and general distaste for everyone around him felt very realistic for someone working in the Department of Mysteries. His talking (thinking?) down to the hospital staff seemed so true to his character, even though we never really see it in canon. That right there is an impressive accomplishment.

Now, I can't really remember, but how exactly was he unable to communicate? I can't remember what the books said and I was a bit unclear if it was his volume or he was babbling or what. I think that for a character this minor you might want to be a bit more specific if you can be.A fair number of people might not remember exactly what happened from the books.

The ending was really strong! I'm really glad you didn't have him overly suspicious of the plant. That could be a little overplayed, him screaming in his head for them to take it away. A little suspicion was nice, but it worked better coming across as more of a distaste of the gift rather than immediately recognizing it as a murderous thing.

I really enjoyed reading this! It's a lovely look into his head and it all flowed together really well. I may have flailed a bit over the story ending mid sentence, but I supposed we all know how it ends. Wonderful story and glad I had the chance to read it! :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Not everyone's a hero. Not everyone comes close. Bode isn't evil, but he wouldn't be a nice person to spend time with! And at this point he's really frustrated because he's used to being in control. I'm so glad you like the characterisation.

In my version, he had no control over his body - there were other impulses controlling that, probably causing him to babble as well as the teapot thing. But he wasn't able to control that. When he did manage to say anything, it was struggling through an unresponsive body so especially at first only a few words would have come through, then he'd have managed more but they'd have been slurred and mumbled and yes, a volume issue. I'm not sure that really is in the books, and I was taking the book interpretation loosely on this occasion - but good point, thanks.

Thank you so much! I think he didn't recognise it or panic over it because he was too absorbed in his own problems, too busy being grumpy for the hell of it. We do all know how it ends, and at that point his POV kind of became no longer available! :P


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Review #5, by Infinityx Inside

17th April 2014:
Hi Leonore!

This was once again, another fabulous story of yours! I love how you've described the hospital environment, and made it such that Bode is able to comprehend and have thoughts, but unable to move or speak. It really put the entire scenario into a new perspective and I think that was amazing.

Your writing is so poetic. I don't know what it is, but everything just flows so seamlessly to form a beautifully knit story.

Poor Bode! He realizes what had happened right when the Devil's Snare grips him! :( Stupid healers. I never really understood (when I read the book) why anyone would keep Devils Snare on the bedside table without checking it first. Don't they cast some identification spells or the such? It's horrible!

Anyway, wonderful story, and good luck with the challenge!

~Erin

Huffleclaw - Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: Hello Erin!

Thank you so much; I do love your reviews. Poetic? Yep, tricked the validators again! 3 line rule? Nah... ;) This flow just comes naturally to me - if it doesn't sound right in my head, I'm not happy with it. I use online thesaurus to find the perfect word if I can't remember it - like I have this feeling there is one, but it's lurking in an inaccessible corner of my mind. Every word has to be just right (you can tell I'm a 'Claw!) I do actually make up poetry in my head a lot.

Poor Bode indeed! Most of my stories are really complimentary about the healers, but Broderick's suffering the other side. It isn't their fault that they don't know he's fine inside, but I think JK said that they were rushed at Christmas so failed to follow he usual precautions. It was one of those small short-cuts with disastrous consequences which you read about happening in our own hospitals far too often.

Thank you!
- Leonore


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Review #6, by TidalDragon Inside

9th April 2014:
Howdy! I've been reviewing all the other entries in the challenge as they've been posted, so I was excited to read yours too!

I really like the way you portray Bode, trapped in his own mind after the Department of Mysteries incident. His personality is as I would imagine for someone in his role - an independent and particular workaholic. His attitude toward the Healers is totally appropriate and you really get across the frustration I would imagine a patient truly in his situation would feel at the goings on around them.

I also enjoyed the detail you put into the hospital routine and the description of his room. I thought that added a lot to the beginning in particular.

The ending was interesting to me. Hopefully my sense that it killed him in the end was correct and if so, it's not hard to guess who might have sent it. It seemed a bit like Devil's Snare to me (was it supposed to be?), though if it was I think it might be nice to make a tad clearer when it got there because I would wonder why it didn't get him sooner if it has been there awhile. If not, just ignore this.

Overall I enjoyed the story! Good luck!

Author's Response: Ooh, lovely surprise review!

Yes, it is Devil's Snare. I have no idea why it waited that long either - maybe it was growing and gaining strength or he'd managed not to touch it until now (he didn't reach for it deliberately at the end). In fact it fits canon (OotP), so that's where the Devil's Snare comes in. I'm limited by those facts.

Glad you like the detail at the beginning - I edited that in afterwards because I though it was missing something (I rarely edit one-shots, if I do only very little - often I don't even read through 'cause I'm lazy!)

Glad you enjoyed it - unfortunately I'm too busy to go through other entries, especially to review, but good luck to you too!


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Review #7, by Hogwarts27 Inside

9th April 2014:
Hi, I've reviewed all the other contest entries, so I'm here to review yours as well. I have to confess that I couldn't remember who this character even was from the books until I came to the part about the tentacula.

I think you did a nice job describing the hospital environment, and the thoughts of the character as he passes time alone, and feels irritated by the staff who obviously underestimate the degree of his mental awareness. I usually think of the healers at St. Mungos being right nearly all of the time in their assessment of a patient, so it added some nice interest that in this case, they were way off the mark. But my favorite part was the ending with sinister plant. Good luck in the challenge.

Author's Response: Thanks! I like writing about obscure characters, and I'm not sure how I thought of Bode for this but I'm glad I did - I think it was because he dies in St Mungo's and I wanted to combine the challenges :P

I'm glad you think I did a good job of the hospital, because I was a little bit worried. I've done some very complimentary ones about the healers, and this is a contrast to that. And it occurred to me when I was writing: what if all people like that are perfectly normal inside just can't control their own bodies so seem mentally damaged? What if they're listening to people talking down to them and can't complain?

Like me then: love a violent death!

I rushed through finishing this off, so I'm glad to hear people like it. Unfortunately I don't have time to R&R the other challenge entries, but good luck to you too!


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