Reading Reviews for I Don't Have a Say
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon I Don't Have a Say

7th July 2014:
Howdy!

This was an interesting take on the dissolution of the friendship between the Founders.

I think what struck me most about it was how fiery things became. It was obvious from the beginning that relations had been frosty for some time, particularly between Gryffindor and Slytherin, but it was a bold choice to have things actually come to a head in the form of a fight between the two. I think this might have been supplemented by having a bit more honest discussion between the four before it happened, but hey, it's your story.

I did also notice a few spots where some odd grammar and word choice popped up. Just as an example, there was this sequence: "[t]he diadem of a carefully designed raven perched on her head, wearing a sapphire proudly. She was mumbled to herself as if she was carrying a conversion with herself." Here, I see that in the first line you were trying to personify the diadem using "perched" (like a raven would do), but it took a couple of reads to get that (at least for me). With the second line, the two uses of "herself" seem awfully close - perhaps you have an alternate option you could use in the first instance?

All in all an intriguing story and you deserve hearty congratulations on winning the challenge!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: HI AGAIN! =D

If they all founded the school together there was probably friendship or mutuality between them, but things must have turned sour. And yes, it was built-up frustration and sometimes people snap from the constant tension.

Um, I didn't want to drag the conversation on just for the fact it is mention they have had the same conversion in the past before.

Yes, I was using personify the diadem and the same word used twice in the sentence is a little tacky. I would have edit that for the better.

Thanks a ton for R&R & for the suggestions! =D


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Review #2, by StarlightAsteria I Don't Have a Say

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

I really liked your portrayal of this, especially your portrayal of Godric and Salazar. I thought it was realistic and nuanced - in that both Godric and Salazar handle the situation badly, which I think goes beyond the stereotypical Salazar being evil trope. :) Watch out for the occasional typo though :)

Author's Response: HI!

I am glad you like it. I always thought of them being much like Malfoy and Potter, almost butting heads and disagreeing since the houses tend to have a rivalry since founders' time LOL.

It is mention vaguely a fallout b/t the two founders in canon. I always thought it would be slowly building up frustrations until it exploded. I obviously written when it exploded.

And thanks for the advice. My spelling, grammar and emitting skills are atrocious. LOL

Thanks again for R&R!


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Review #3, by Missy_Janelle I Don't Have a Say

3rd May 2014:
Hey! I'm here to judge the challenge and the results (hopefully) will be posted in a blog entry today.

I really like this interpretation of why Sazalar opened the Chamber of Secrets. Its very interseting. Sazalar obviously has a bad temper and overeacted by openeing something that could kill or harm lots and lots of Muggle Born students. I like your writing style because you have a nice balance of speech and description which is one of the reasons I thourghly enjoyed reading this.

HEG

Author's Response: Thank you! I was more than happy to participate especially since this IS my first founder's story. Yes, Sazalar is and anyone who thinks about blood purity can be a little dramatic b/c they shouldn't matter. Anyway, I will be checking very soon to find out who wins. Thanks so much! =D

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Review #4, by Infinityx I Don't Have a Say

16th April 2014:
Hello there! I saw this was a Founders fic, and I just HAD to read it. I've gotten a sudden obsession for Founders era stories, and people tend to not write them much. This was a great premise and I'm glad I came across it.

You've got some really vivid descriptions going on there and the whole tense scenario has been expressed brilliantly. I love how you made there be an unrequited love between Salazar and Helga. That's something I've never really thought about. Every other fic I've read has got an unrequited love story going on between Salazar and Rowena. This was a wonderful change.

You've done a great job at characterizing all of them. I especially love the way you've described Helga here, and it's so sad that there can't be something between her and Salazar.

Oooh, the basilisk. That was a great touch and a brilliant reference to canon.

I don't have any solid CC to offer except that there are some places with unnecessary commas which I'm sure you'd be able to clean up if you go through this once again. The language is befitting the Founders era and the premise is excellent. Great job, and good luck with the challenge!

~Erin

Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza

Author's Response: Thanks! And glad you found this! Yes, I wanted to do Salazar and Helga because I feel that they would truly be opposites and yet balance each other out in a way. Helga also makes him seem more human in a way. And I am super happy I done good characterizing especially in one-shots it is harder to capture the personality of certain characters because they tend to be so short.

Anyway, yes I would have to read it again, but thank you for the review ^__^ ...


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Review #5, by UnluckyStar57 I Don't Have a Say

16th April 2014:
Oooh, the Founders Challenge!! The world needs more Founders fiction in it, and I think that this fits the bill perfectly!

The atmosphere at the beginning of the story is very tense and scary--almost like it's about to boil over, which it does! I like how you described all of the Founders. I could picture them all in my head as they sat around staring at Salazar, waiting for something to happen. It makes me wonder how the discussion was going up to that point!

And then, BOOM. Godric and Salazar, no longer friends, have it out in an amazing display of power and a clashing of wills. The spells that they used--oh my! Helga and Rowena must have wanted to stop it, but maybe they knew that it was inevitable...

Seeing Salazar give instructions to his basilisk was really cool. It ties up the mythology set forth in CoS--how Salazar sealed the Chamber before he left--and gives it life and vivid detail. Very well done!

Great one-shot! Good luck in the challenge! :D

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: I don't know why, but people seem to be less interested in the Founder's. I'm glad you felt the tension. I intended that ^__^ And also the duel which I felt was kinda short-lived, but yet intense. Thanks so much for your thoughts and the review =D !

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