Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker.





  
10 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Drealynn Ruiz Luna in Africa?

23rd July 2014:
I like your story but I've found a few spelling errors. Always reread and spell check before publishing! Other than that, it's really wonderful so far. I like the short chapters, because if need be, it gives a good stopping spot to quit reading and take care of everyday chores and pick up at the next convenient time. I don't know why readers aren't reviewing! It's a good story.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! I know I need to be careful with spelling and I am taking steps to work on the problem.

 Report Review

Review #2, by CM Mrs Weasley's Children

7th May 2014:
REALLY GOOD CAN YOU PLEASE KEEP WRITING IT PLEASE U HAVE A GREAT STORY PLAN AND YOU CAN EASILY TURN THIS INTO A GREAT STORY SO CAN YOU PLEASE KEEP WRITING

Author's Response: Thank you very much! I am continuing to write.

 Report Review

Review #3, by luvinpadfoot Mrs Weasley's Children

3rd May 2014:
Aw this is really sweet! I agree, it's pretty fun Harry made his career choice from what a Death Eater told him he'd be good at, but I think the Death Eater was right. All their plans seem realistic for their characters. I like the Harry and Ron aren't going back to school full time, but it works well for Hermione. Is she going to Australia soon to look for her parents? I'm eager to find out!

And oh, Luna and Neville. I was kind of hoping this wouldn't be a canon story and they'd end up together, but ah well. Poor Neville. I suppose you'll bring Hannah in at some point for him. Luna's a bit oblivious to how much he likes her, I think, but I'm glad she's going to Africa and has plans for her own life.

Helpful critique time. You switch tenses a bit between past and present, but that would be an easy fix if you ever wanted to go back and edit. Same with a few typos I noticed. I love the characters, though. They seem really true to their canon selves. :)

Everything's looking up so much! It's nice to see them piece their lives back together after the war. We never really got to see them do that in canon, so it's really sweet to see it here. I wouldn't worry too much about the lack of reviews. I think the average number is something like 1 for every 300 reads. But you could try joining the forums to get reviews there. I'd really like to see you continue this story!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I ship Luna and Neville, and have plans for them. . . ;)

 Report Review

Review #4, by Diana Hanson After Dumbledore's Office

3rd May 2014:
Please learn to spell. "Too" in the second sentence should be spelled "two".

Author's Response: I'm extremely sorry. It will be fixed immediately.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Asia Luna in Africa?

3rd May 2014:
You are an amazing writer! Love the story

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I hope to improve!

 Report Review

Review #6, by Amethy What about September?

30th April 2014:
Um I actually don't know if this is working... i'm on my mobile phone, so i hope you'll even get this review.
I love the harry potter stories, it feels like childhood. And i think your fanfiction is a nice way of going on for the main characters. I like the way how the characters are dealing with their loss, especially what you wrote about george. But i would have liked to meet him in person in your story, maybe if you continue?
On the other hand, some of the actions don't seem authentic to me. For example ginny's and harry's insecurity doesn't match their character. But i think you've got luna pretty authentic!
To your question: nobody can answer you if it's worth to go on with your story. But if you have to ask, if you need a feedback to make your writing "worth", it probably isn't. Write for yourself and not for anybody else!

Author's Response: Well, it worked! (I wrote the whole story mobile) I could try to add an encounter with George. . . That's a great idea! I'm a very inexperienced writer, and I'm learning as I go, but Harry and Ginny's characters are so complex. , . Thank you so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #7, by magicalmayhem Luna in Africa?

25th April 2014:
Please do continue writing this,you have a good idea going and just need to expand on it more. I look forward to reading more.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. As you aren't the first person a suggest expanding, I plan to do the best I can.

 Report Review

Review #8, by Aurorofthelight Luna in Africa?

24th April 2014:
Of course it's worth continuing! You have a nice story going but you need a little body to your chapters! There is no such thing as being too detailed in what happens in a chapter, especially when it comes to character interactions(EX: I probably would have finished the scene between Harry and Ginny in the last chapter and not left it hanging like that - more romance too)!

Author's Response: Thank you very much!! I will do what I can for the details, but I'm a very inexperienced writer and am still learning.

 Report Review

Review #9, by Chillidalizard We Need to Talk

20th April 2014:
I like your story, please keep writing :)!

Author's Response: Thank you so much, I really needed that!

 Report Review

Review #10, by luvinpadfoot People Start to Notice

15th April 2014:
Aw this is really sweet! I like seeing all the couples coming together after the war. Finally they can have a chance to be happy together and rebuild their lives.

I always kind of shipped Neville/Luna even if it isn't canon. I just love the two of them together. I especially love the way you characterized them. Neville seems really canon in this, his shyness about Luna.

I wonder who's selling the pictures to the prophet? Is it Skeeter? Poor guys, they've all been through so much and just want to be left alone.

There are a few typos and tense errors, but nothing too much and that was about the only thing I noticed to critique. :)

What you've got so far is great and I really enjoyed it! It's such a lovely idea and you're working with it so well. (:

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing the story!! Believe it or not, this is the very first review I've received. I'll try to recheck mt spelling, its really not a strong point of mine!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login