40 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Sanne A Boyfriend and Something Else

11th August 2014:
I'm starting to love this story more and more. I really like the political angle, the subject hasn't really been touched in the HP books.

At the moment I like James a bit more, but I think Louis and Laney are a better match. They are both ambitious and shrewed, and are quite willing to put their morals aside. I can't remember if it has been mentiones, but was Laney in Slytherin?

Author's Response: Ep! Thank you so much!! ^.^ I kinda wish it had, you know. It's so different in the wizarding world and we get just little glimpses at it and I think it is so interesting... I guess that why I'm writing this haha.

Ah, yes, I like James too. Louis is just a little on the selfish side, as it Laney. However, I don't know about you, but I'm shipping James and Laney till the end. Honestly I have no idea who is going to end up with whom in the end (these characters seem to have a mind of their own) but I'm rooting for James :P And Laney didn't go to Hogwarts, she went to beauxbatons, but if she did, she would have definitely been in Slytherin right along side Louis.

Thanks again for the lovely review!
Mary


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Review #2, by Aphoride Let's Make a Deal

4th August 2014:
Hey Mary, dropping by from the Blue v Bronze review battle! :)

So, you should know that I love politics, it's something which really fascinates me, so I'm amazed it's taken me this long to get here, because this really does seem right up my street!

I love how you've got her starting off at the bottom - and Louis as well - even though her dad is pretty well-known and pretty high up in the Ministry, it seems. It's an interesting route to go with her, rather than her asking daddy to put her in a better job to start, you know, and says a lot about her character and how she wants to do it on her own, not with her dad's support, kinda thing. Laney is a really good character, too - she's not necessarily very nice, is very driven and manipulative, quite haughty and a bit egotistical, but somehow she's interesting and I want to read more about her and if she stays like this the whole way. It's an impressive knack to have ;)

I really like the other characters as well, and the way you show them solely through Laney's pov. Like the other assistant, who's kinda plain and a bit dowdy and probably really very nice, but Laney hates her and looks down on her. And the boss who is a bit of a pig, tbh, but you get people like him and the other girl, you know?

Louis is awesome. I love how you're using him like a kinda male mirror-image of Laney, in the sense that they're so similar, and they have similar aims and are happy to have similar methods of getting what they want. It's kind of a devilish pact, if that makes sense, and I'm so interested to know how it turns out.

This is such a good set up and such a good start to the story. I'm so curious to know what happens with the pact and with the job and all... also, whether or not Laney will stay as she is or if she'll change as the story goes on.

Ah, such a good story! I'll have to keep an eye in this ;)

Aph xx

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Review #3, by Roisin All Hope is not Lost

30th July 2014:
Ah, I really like that Hermione turned up! Super hoping for some Hermione/Laney confrontation at some point.

I like the rumblings of feminist themes in this story--from Hermione keeping her maiden name, to the press being unduly concerned with Laney's appearance. I'm really excited to see how this develops as the story progresses.

James is really delightfully cocky, too. It makes sense that he wouldn't worry about coming off too eager--celebrity as he is.

Looking forward to the next update!

-Roisin

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Review #4, by Roisin The First Date

30th July 2014:
Woo updates!

The missing pyramid bit was very, very funny--as was Laney's opinion of Quidditch. Still wondering if she's a muggle born! You mentioned their talking about their childhoods, but no info yet; I'm very curious about her past.

Laney's such a B, but at the same time, there's a subtle vulnerability there that she won't speak to directly, or may not be conscious of. She wants Louis to care about her, she's worried about the polls--there's a desperation that motivates a lot of her decisions (although she certainly wouldn't use that word).

The pronunciation of the menu bit was great too. It's a weird thing about Brits, they flat out REFUSE to pronounce foreign words correctly--especially if they are French words. It makes absolute sense that James wouldn't know.

On to the next!
-Roisin

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Review #5, by jessicalorewrites All Hope is not Lost

25th July 2014:
Eep, hello! Back for the final owed review but trust me, I shall be here for the entire ride of the story :p

James and Laney are sooo cute! I know there wasn't any face-to-face interactions here but their little note sending is major adorbs eek. It's like them being back in school ;)

Still loving the political side to me. It's not really a topic that interests me in general but the way you tackle it in this fic has me hanging on every word :D I feel like Laney will win the Wizog of Kent role but probably not by a lot... hope all goes well!!

Another fabulous chapter by a fabulous writer. I love it!

xo

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Review #6, by Collylocks All Hope is not Lost

23rd July 2014:
I think the take on political machinations is pretty original and I'm enjoying the ride along. :) Looking forward to seeing how the story develops!

Author's Response: Ep! Thank you so much!! You have no idea how much this review means to me :P The next chapter is already written so it should be out in about a week! Hope you continue liking it!
xoxo
Mary


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Review #7, by jessicalorewrites The First Date

19th July 2014:
Hey! I'm here with your prizes for placing first in my challenge uwu

I think I ship Janey more than I ship Lanouis :o I feel like James could maybe loosen her up a little bit and take her mind off of work, something Louis can't really do since he works in the same place. Louis and Laney would work better as best friends, I think, with Jamesy being the doting boyfriend who brings his Minister of Magic wife to all his quidditch games because he loves her very much.

.okay, I'm getting a tad carried away here oops.

I'll leave the last owed review (but be sure there will be many more to come on this story!!) when the next chapter is up lovie. I can't wait :))

xo

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Review #8, by jessicalorewrites The Quidditch International Foundation

19th July 2014:
Hey! I'm here with your prizes for placing first in my challenge uwu

I didn't think I would, but I find that I'm actually enjoying these time jumps. It means I don't have to read through all the boring bits of them building their relationship up and can just read the action and interesting parts straight away :D

Small typo in Louis' lil airplane note: you put "I have a plane" not "I have a plan" -- at least, I think you did?

Ooooh, I sense upcoming tension between James/Louis. I understand Louis is the one trying to push Laney into dating James but I feel as if it may well backfire in the near future. I'm thinking LOVE TRIANGLE. Which, of course, I hate. But I love to hate them ;) they make everything far more interesting and angsty.

At first I thought that Louis had set something up so Laney/James would be fake dating (as in, James knew it wasn't for real) but judging by your A/N it isn't so I'm really rather curious to see how this plays out.

Also, just to offer some relief I hope, the idea of a Wizog for each county sounds pretty on point to me. I'm not entirely sure how British politics work but you can definitely take some liberties anyway. As far as I'm aware, there's a councillor that's elected for each county or city or something that sound pretty similiar to a senator/congressman :)

I'M SUPER SCARED TO READ ON BECAUSE THE NEXT ONE IS THE LAST ONE YOU HAVE UPDATED CURRENTLY AND I DON'T WANT THIS TO END.

Absolutely amazing chapter again. It's got me all excited about politics and girl power yeahh

xo

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Review #9, by jessicalorewrites Whispers

19th July 2014:
Hey! I'm here with your prizes for placing first in my challenge uwu

So first off, I'm just wondering whether Laney is French? Her name doesn't suggest that she is, but she did go to Beauxbatons... hopefully find out more on her background soon :)

I'm really loving this recurring theme of politics. Even though Laney is no where near a high position she's considering all the things she'd need to should she climb the ranks right to the top of the Ministry. A sign of a good worker :p I really love the line you used for the chapter image!! I think it sums up what I know pretty well so far.

Damn... a little disappointed to see that the gender divide is just as strong in the wizarding world. Now I hope Laney suceeds in her career even more!! Show them men who's boss, Rosewood :p

EEEK Lanouis action (like the ship name? hehe) is abundant here -- and I love it!! It sounds like they're really atuned to each other and so I think they'd make a great couple. Though it seems to be only physical-based at the moment. Or will turn into something purely physical very soon.

Again, I'm left at the end of the chapter screaming for more. You're worse than Rick Riordan :p

Excellent job!!

xo

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Review #10, by jessicalorewrites Let's Make a Deal

19th July 2014:
Hey! I'm here with your prizes for placing first in my challenge uwu

The premise of this story really intrigued me and I've been meaning to sit down and read it for a while now. And, safe to say, it has, thus far, not disappointed!

Laney seems like a very lively person. I can practically hear her voice speaking to me through her narration of events. Usually OCs that are this full on irritate me a little but nope, not here! The fact she has to sing the alphabet song makes me love her even more, because I mean, who doesn't need to do that?!?!

I don't really understand how Mr Truman's features could be 'overzealous' since that means overly passionate, as far as I'm aware. Maybe I just don't know other meanings :p

Also, one line you might want to tweak is "I will get everyone computers and successfully into the twenty-first century." You're only missing a word or so out to make it coherent so don't worry :)

Overall I'm super intrugied by this story STILL!! I'm so eager to read the next chapter oh my god. I'm scared Louis is going to backhand her but at the same time I really don't want him to and ughhh I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS!!

Sorry, don't mind my incoherent rambles :p

Lovely chapter! A pleasure to read and review. Off to the next one as we speak.

xo

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Review #11, by StarryKnights The First Date

18th July 2014:
I think James is a nice guy and Laney should give him a chance even though their relationship is doomed to fail because she is only using him for political gain. but great story so far! i got totally sucked in by the first chapter and I cant wait to find out what happens next

Author's Response: Thank you so much for this review, it has made my day! :P I know, I like James too. LANEY WHY DON'T YOU LIKE JAMES?? Sorry, little mad at her right now. She has a mind of her own and won't let me make her like James right now *pouts* I guess you'll just have to wait and see if that changes ;) I'm so happy that you like it so much. Next chapter is in the queue XD

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Review #12, by MadiMalfoy Whispers

10th July 2014:
Hi! Here with your review from a few weeks ago! :)

Ah yes, Louis Weasley, lawyer extraordinare and hottie to boot. I enjoyed this chapter, as you were able to develop Laney and Louis as characters and in relation to each other as they worked together every day. It flows very well, especially through the scene changes from the office to the courtroom and then the time jump. I laughed at Mr. Garvey's character--such a typical politician!

The only CC I have for you is at the very end, the language gets sort of confusing less descriptive. I think if you use a term other than the big F it would still have enough surprise and shock factor but be a little more appropriate for the story. So far you haven't really used much vulgar language so that seems out of place. Other than that little thing though, this chapter was fabulous!

You can re-request at any time. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hello! Ah, yes, Louis. He sure is something isn't he? I'm glad you are liking the relationship between them, its good to know that they work together :P Haha! Yes, Mr. Garvey is definitely your stereotypical politician. Ok, I'll look back through the ending and see if I can make things more clear. And I understand what you are saying but I just like it because it is really the only word that describes that act taken with no emotion behind it whatsoever and that is what it was. It was *insert f word here*, not having sex. Sex implies more, or at least to me it does :P Thanks again!

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Review #13, by greenbirds Let's Make a Deal

28th June 2014:
hey! so im a politics student, and this automatically interested me- i've been meaning to read it for ages. it's a fantastic idea, and you're shaping up the plot nicely, especially regarding laney (which autocorrects to kanye on my phone) and
louis's relationship's dynamics.
however, a point of criticsm (sorry, how annoying am i?)- you've introduced 4 characters in the opening chapter, and honestly speaking, they prove quite flat and two dimensional. there's the hideous girl with the braces and acne and bad clothes who cant *possibly* compete with the protagonist's physical qualities; the perverted boss, who is, like the nerd girl mentioned, physically unattractive and so has no positive qualities to note (a dangerous correlation, especially when laney and louis are clearly beautiful and so are automatically allied together). this being said, it is the first chapter, and hopefully you'll defeat these stereotypes and cliches.
the narrative runs smoothly, if not slightly choppy, but that's just me being overly critical. looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Yeah, the first chapter is a little... bad to say the least. It is more just there to get introductions under the way. The other chapters are (hopefully) better. I should probably show it better, but Laney is kind of an unreliable narrator. We see this world in her eyes where she is the best and no one else measures up to her. I think she would overstate some physical attributes just because her mind works that way. And she is going to seem pretty perfect to herself because that's how she views herself... But maybe I haven't really shown that enough *off to try some rewritting* Thanks for the CC though, I didn't really realize because as I am the author my mind fills in the wholes that the readers can't see. Hope you keep reading and like the other chapters more!

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Review #14, by luciusobsessed Let's Make a Deal

16th June 2014:
Wow this was so good! I like the people you chose in your banner ( Gossip Girl fan all the way) and I can picture them all in your story. I like how your character is set out to get what she wants and I like how she is a Beauxbaton. I've never read a Louis fic but I'm really excited to continue this one. Great job and great writing :))

Author's Response: Thanks for the review!! Ah, yes, gotta love Gossip Girl ;) Yes, Laney is quite the ambitious little girl. Thanks again!
Mary


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Review #15, by marauderfan The Quidditch International Foundation

11th June 2014:
Hiya :) came by to give your story some love since all I did earlier was mean word changing and crossing-out :p So this chapter! I really like the way you're continuing to develop Laney as a character. She's an incredibly judgemental person, given her feelings towards 'Granny clothes' and James and the two women she meets at the fundraiser, and she uses people as pawns, but I think underneath all her obvious flaws she really does want to do the right thing. It's funny, I'm not her biggest fan, I certainly wouldn't be friends with her, but I am supportive of her desire to become minister of magic and make some much needed change in the sexist government. You go girl! Go off and date James under false pretenses.. lol. So basically, well done on making me like such a dislikeable character!

I like the way you're going into the inner workings of the ministry, as well - the politics in this story are what make it shine. There isn't a whole lot about the Wizengamot in canon that I know of, so you have lots of room for creativity here, which so far is great. Nice job on this chapter!

Author's Response: Hi there my beautiful, wonderful, magnificent beta! You are literally my favorite person in the whole entire world ;)

Yay! Glad you liked it! I think you have pretty much described Laney's character to the point. You go glen coco! I tried to show it with things like her trying her best to get rid of discrimination (even though it is of her own ambition) and seeing past some of the frivolous things the wizarding world does. Yeah, Laney isn't the most likable character (if I met her in a dark alley and I had what she wanted I would be running away from her whist screaming at the top of my lungs), but at the same time, she is surrounded by people who may just be worse than her and you can't help but support her.

And what would this story be without the politics ;) I'm so tired of reading stories that skip over main parts in character's lives just so they can either get to the romance or whatever part is the main premise of the story. There are so much more to character's lives than just their relationships (for instance) so I knew I couldn't pass any of the political side up. Thanks again, lovely! Have fun on your travels and there will hopefully be at least two new chapters for you to go over when you get back ;)

xoxo
Mary


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Review #16, by Roisin The Quidditch International Foundation

11th June 2014:
Oh man, "love triangle" was indicated from the beginning, but Louis initiating it is just too good.

Honestly, the Slytherin side of my brain was all like, "date James Potter to win election girl, duh!!" before Louis introduced it.

Also, I loved that Laney didn't offer that "Jim" use her first name. Beautiful.

Man, I was very lucky to start reading this on update-day. Wooo!

xx
Roisin
("Year Five")

PS: remember to keep your canon straight for future chapters (you thus far haven't broken it). The head of the Wizengamot is called the "Chief Warlock," so that would be like the Speaker of the House. Dunno what a female chief is called. It is composed of around 50 members. The Minister for Magic, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister, and Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement preside over the Wizengamot ex officio (like the Vice President over the Senate). According to canon, they oversee criminal investigations, but only in major cases is there a full @ssembly of all fifty members.

(silly bot thinks the correct spelling of "@ssembly" is naughty).

Author's Response: Yes, hopefully people will not be such strong Laney/Louis shippers after this. *crosses fingers* Snaps for you for figuring out the plan before it was laid out.

I quite liked that part myself ;)

Thanks for the review!
Mary

PS: Thank you so much!! I tried looking some of this up on the HP Wiki page but it was kind of very confusing so I will probably be looking back on this multiple times for a reference. *hugs*


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Review #17, by Roisin Let's Make a Deal

11th June 2014:
Wait--I thought I left a review for this chapter but now I don't see it!

ANYway, to summarize:

Parchment isn't lined! I like jokes like that.

And the alphabet song bit was brilliant--I literally(literally) could not help singing it in my head to figure out G vs I.

A very compelling chapter!

Laney clearly has a strong understanding of the muggle-world, is she muggle-born? I'd like that, because muggle-borns are usually flawless. It'd be refreshing to see one that was conniving and ambitious.

-Roisin
("Year Five")

Author's Response: Ah, yes, you just gotta love Laney's view on the Muggle world and its flaws ;)

I'm toying with it at the moment, but I think that in the end, she will be. It just fits better with the story and I like your point, that we haven't really seen an anti-hero muggle born.

Thanks for the review!
Mary


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Review #18, by Roisin Whispers

11th June 2014:
I like that Laney starts as an unlikable character in the first chapter. Readers usually identify with the narrator to begin with, and you jarred that nicely with Laney's cruelty to "Grandma Clothes."

Here, I'd say she gets even worse--illegally worse. The great thing, though, is that she clearly does possess a moral conscious, so I'm interested to see how she develops. It's tough to write an anti-hero, so good on you!

As for the chapter ending, phew! It was honestly uncomfortable to read, but I liked that. I like a [consensual] scene like that that makes the reader yell, "STOP, NO!" And that's hard to do.

And the curse in the last line was blunt as a punch (and I'm not upset by swearing). That was smart, because a detailed scene so early on, in such a context, would have been tacky (especially if it had been tender).

But Bill would have been a better parent! (whines the fan-girl) Why is Louis so morally bankrupt!?!

xxx
Roisin

Author's Response: Hiya! Thanks for the reviews!! *hugs*

Yes, Laney isn't exactly the most likable character so it was hard to write her as someone readers would like. It is so nice to know that I am not the only one that likes her ;) Yeah, she doesn't tend to mind straying from the moral path to get her where she wants (which make me kind of like her more, tbh haha).

Yay! You're the first person to tell me that they didn't like that scene. Everyone was telling me they were shipping them and I was like '... you really aren't supposed to ship them...' Yeah, that didn't turn out the way I hoped... oops. Yes, that scene was not supposed to be tender at all. They are using each other both for their careers and for more... *coughs* physical activites.

So this is my view on this Louis. (Sorry, this may get long) So, yes, Bill was a part of the Weasley's, but he was much older and therefore not as much in the spotlight as the other Weasley's who were much closer to HP. I think this would also make Bill's family less idolized as war heros (just because they are less well known). There is also the fact that Louis is the middle child (at least in my head canon). And you know the sterotypical overlooked middle child plus Bill's family being less well known would have made Louis strive to make a name for himself. I think this would have added to the fact that he would want to distance himself from his family and make (again) a name for himself because people would treat him differently once they heard his last name. So, there is the explanation of Louis :P

xoxo
Mary


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Review #19, by shewhomustnotbenamed_ The Quidditch International Foundation

11th June 2014:
I really like where this is going, I thinks it's going to be interesting between the three of them aha can't wait for the next chapter :))

Author's Response: *Gasp* I can't believe it's you!! I love all your stories and I can't believe you like mine!! Squeee!! Sorry, fangirl moment ;) Thank you so much for the review and it hopefully won't be long until the next chapter it out!

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Review #20, by lexiatel Whispers

8th June 2014:
Hi, you asked me to review your story :)

The plot is good, especially for someone who is not too interested in politics, I really enjoyed reading it.

I LOVE the main character, Laney, she made me laugh a few times. This is an amusing character.

Hard to imagine a Weasley acting the way Louis does, but he is a guy, so it's not too unbelievable really, lol. And we know not all family acts the same.

So all in all, I am really interested where these characters are headed :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad that it is still a good read for those who aren't that into politics. I quite like Laney too ;). Yes, I definitely took a different approach than usual to Louis so I'm glad people are liking the change. Thanks again!
Mary


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Review #21, by lindslo2012 Whispers

24th May 2014:
Hello again!
Here for a requested review.
What a good chapter!
I liked the characters alot and I like the girl that she is becoming. She is definently something that will be quite good for the company. Also the two of them make a handsome couple- for whenever they get together.
I really think you have a fabulous story coming along here! It was rather disgusting that the man was checking her out when he was quite old. Poor girl, I'd be quite creeped out! lol.
Well I am anxiously waiting on them to come together eventually and its driving me crazy!!!
I hope that you come back to re-request. The only thing that bothered me a little bit is the spacing- it gets a little distracting and I get the same comment all the time from reviewers. :)
Let me know when your next chapter comes out!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Thanks for the wonderful review!! I'm glad your liking the development of Laney. And she is definitely creeped out multiple times but has just learned how not to show it :P I will definitely come back and re-request once the next chapter is finished up. Sorry about the spacing but I went back and its fixed now :P
Thanks again!
Mary


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Review #22, by MadiMalfoy Let's Make a Deal

22nd May 2014:
Hey there, MadiMalfoy with your requested review! :)

Right off the bat you pulled me in with a very proud, snobby OC! She intrigued me--who is she and who is she going to be connected with? What is her real goal here as Mr. Truman's assistant? All good questions to have your reader asking immediately!

Laney is a go-getter who wants to move up in the world and has a great idea of how to do it, thanks to growing up in France. I really hope you can pull some of those experiences in later chapters, just to throw Louis for a loop! Speaking of Louis, I LOVE your characterization of him! It's different than how he usually gets characterized so it's very refreshing!

As a whole, I didn't notice and interruption in the flow of the plot or rushing either. There were just a few spelling mistakes but those can be fixed with a quick proofreading no problem! I really liked how you started this story, I can't wait to read more!

Feel free to re-request for the next chapter at your own convenience. :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hey, terribly sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you.

Thanks for the great review! I like Laney's more intriguing and unique view on life and what it owes her and what she will get from it. Laney will definitely be throwing Louis some curveballs. I can't have Louis be the only super cool person, now can I? ;) Thanks! Gotta say that I quite like Louis myself ;) I feel like as a younger child of a less prominent part of the Wealsey family, he would be dying to make a name of his own. Thanks again and I will definitely be re-requesting ;)

Thanks
Mary


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Review #23, by lindslo2012 Let's Make a Deal

21st May 2014:
Hey there!
Here to give you your requested review. And might I say, I loved your opening chapter!
It was so unique and cute and I had no idea that Louis was going to be Louis Weasley. How awesome! I just started liking it a little bit more!
I also like the girl's name, Laney. Idk why it has always been one of my favorite girl names.
On to your story- I liked it from the very beginning and how she was so snappy and snooty, lol. and it sounds like her and Louis are really going to hit it off. I just hope that she does well since it was her first day at the Ministry. Gee he just jumped right into asking her to be his new asistant if Mr. Truman retires. Poor Mr. Truman, :) I think my favorite part is when she walked in the restaurant with Louis and he right off the bat asked her these questions like he knew her all along.
Well I certainly hope you come back and re-request soon!
I can't wait to find out what happens,
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love the name Laney too- although it does make me made that the computer always underlines it as being misspelled, grrr. Haha, her snottiness is just part of her charm I like to believe ;). Well Louis is quite smart and can very easily read people and he saw Laney's ambition and saw that it would take her places. I will go and re-request right not ^_^. Thank you again for the lovely review

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Review #24, by marauderfan Whispers

18th May 2014:
Hello! Here with your requested review! I briefly skimmed over the first chapter since your AoC was on this chapter, so here goes.

I love a good political story! I haven't seen anything else like this on HPFF, so that's cool. I don't know if you watch House of Cards but this story reminds me of it a little, in the way everyone is so manipulative and not above dirty tactics. It's fabulous. Honestly, I love how unethical she is (and Louis is no better). Those are often my favourite type of characters! And there are far too few of them in fanfic.

You've set up a really interesting issue with gender inequalities in politics/in the workplace as well, and Laney's (rather terrible) methods of addressing that, and this is such a huge problem in real life too so I really hope you go into that more. So yeah, the premise of the story is fantastic!

From the minute Laney had to sing the ABC song to herself to remember the order of the alphabet, I liked her! Honestly I have to do that too because who can remember the order of 26 letters? No one's got time for that. Anyway, I like that you've developed a pretty well rounded character who is funny and has quirks along with manipulative ambition. She's very interesting.

You mentioned that the end of the chapter might seem too rushed, but I don't think so. It is six months later, and I'm not surprised, as given Laney's previous behaviour at work it seemed like something she'd do - she'd already shown plenty of interest in him before. It didn't really need much build up because it's not like they're in love, it's just lust at this point.

As for more picky things: the tense switches between present and past a few times, and also there are a few spelling errors, such as 'mid-evil' which should be medieval (in the first chapter), 'per say' should be per se, and a few times Louis was written as Louise - things that should be pretty easy to catch with a read-over.

Overall this is an awesome start to your fic, and with a little cleaning-up the grammar it will be fantastic! Great work!

PS. Poor Pluto, I was a little sad when they de-classified it as a planet too :p

Author's Response: Ah, yay, I'm glad you liked it! And yes, I have watched House of Cards (best show ever, am I right?!). It was actually what gave me the idea for this story. I guess you could call it my muse ;). Thank you so much! I glad someone- other than me- is interested in this story XD. As drawing up Laney's character in my head, I wanted her to be a spin off of Frank Underwood so I made her a little quirky because- well... who doesn't love quirky?! Ok, yay! I was really worried about that because- as the author- I have been able to add a couple extra dots to the story and I was worried those dots would be missed by people who weren't- well me haha! Yeah, I am terrible at editing my own work... oops. Thank you for this wonderful review!! Made my day!!

P.S. Worst thing of the century :'(


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Review #25, by Veritaserum27 Whispers

16th May 2014:
Hi!

I'm here for the BvB review battle!

You've done a great job continuing in the characterization of Laney. She is still ambitious and has a clear vision of what she wants. I'm not sure if she wants Louis because she is attracted to his power or just turned on by his own ambition. They really do make a great pair. It is compelling and makes me want to read on.

I can tell that you've clearly thought out the nuances of the story. The little details about politics and the specifics that you add in regarding the cases they are working on really add to the plot.

I have two small criticisms. Be wary of the all of the spaces. It happens to me too, and if you want some tips, feel free to PM me. There are also a few typos and some phrasings that might be caught by a beta. I think you have a great story here and sometimes the grammar can get in the way of the greatness of this story.

I feel like we haven't seen the last of creepy Tim. He made my skin crawl. I hope that Laney has the foresight to out maneuver him. I think she can, she is pretty quick!

I also really liked that you are being realistic with the way others are treating Laney. Politics can be ugly and dirty - and the women are way worse than the men! Nice job with embedding all the little details into the fic!

Keep up the good work!

~Beth (Veritaserum27)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I think that it is a mixture of both that makes Laney attracted to Louis. Well that along with his hotness *wink wink* Well you can't have a political story without any politics ;). But its nice to know that they are working and are not just parts that readers skim though to get to the nitty and gritty romance parts. Yes, I have asked for a beta but I have not yet gotten a response yet so keep your fingers crossed for me ;P. Ah, Tim. Such a classy fellow. Just kidding, like ew though haha. And your prediction might just be correct, I just guess you will have to keep reading to see ;). Well I couldn't just have some picture perfect setting for my story now could I? I kind of tired of reading all these perfect stories with perfect settings and perfect protagonists, so I thought that I couldn't just add to the masses. Thank you again for the lovely review!!
xoxo
Mary


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