Reading Reviews for Clementine
32 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TreacleTart Clementine

11th May 2015:
Hey Aph!

I'm here for our review swap!

I am always interested to see what people can do with five hundred words. It seems like such a short space to tell a story and I'm amazed that anyone can make it work.

This particular story is lovely. Fleur isn't exactly one of my favorite characters mainly because she seems sort of arrogant in the books. I like that you caused her to doubt herself in this a bit. It made her more human really. That momentary uncertainty about whether she should stick with the tried and true orange dress or go with a lavender one instead really gives us a peak at how interested she is in impressing this guy (I'm assuming it's Bill). I had to chuckle a little bit when she started to doubt herself again since he hadn't shown up when she'd expected him to.

I thought the choice of 2nd person POV was really interesting for this. Usually, you see 2nd person much more frequently in the action/adventure genre, but it suited this well. The only little thing I would critique is that I personally find 2nd person to work its best when there is a lot of detail because it allows the reader to really get inside of the story. I know you were limited with how much description you could include because of the every word counts challenge, but I would love to see this expanded a bit.

I thought the ending was really sweet. Bill holding the orange rose and using shoddy French to ask her to dinner indicates that he's really been paying a lot of attention. I could see a guy like him doing something like that.

Another good story. As usual, your work never fails to be beautiful. You just have this quality to your writing that is hard to explain, but it really makes it stand out. Good work!


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Review #2, by Freda_and_Georgina Clementine

7th May 2015:
Its really fitting that Fleur is not used to being unsure of herself. And for her to be interested in grabbing and keeping attention. Orange rose? I haven't heard of them but cool! The speechlessness is also very unlike Fleur, and she knows it. That was sweet of him to try and ask her out to dinner in France. So short, but it's perfect.


Author's Response: Hi there! :) Thank you so much for dropping by!

Thank you! :) I really love Fleur as a character - I think she's somewhat underrated in terms of her ability and so on - so I really wanted to do her justice with this, so I'm so glad you liked her! Yeah, orange roses - they're real, too, and so beautiful, and handily fit in with the colour I was given for the challenge. Haha, yeah, of course I had to include that - it might be a little cliche, but tbh, I think it fits the two of them, you know?

Thank you so so much for the lovely review - and I can't believe you went through as much of my author's page as you did in such a short space of time so thank you so much for that too! :)

Aph xx

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Review #3, by Shadowkat Clementine

13th April 2015:
Wow, not many are able to pull off second person like that. Really good!

Author's Response: Hey - thanks so much for dropping by! :)

Thanks so much - I hadn't written second person for a long time when I wrote this so I felt so rusty doing it, you know? So I'm so glad you liked it and thought it worked okay - I was so nervous about it! :)

Thanks so much for the review! :)

Aph xx

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Review #4, by The Basilisk Clementine

1st February 2015:
Hello. I'm not one for saying "aww" being a Basilisk and all, but at this point, I absolutely mussst (don't tell my other Basilisk mates). This little snippet in Bill and Fleur's life wass very adorable and I loved it.

Your characterisation of Fleur was spot on - it wasss quite aligned with canon. It was also cute how she was caught with surprise at how she wass at a loss of words because she never was before. The whole picking the dress thing was also very sweet, the uncertainty and doubt plain - and it showed how much she wanted Bill to ask her out.

The ending of course was the sweetest bit with Bill asking her the way he did. I loved the use of the "orange" throughout as well - it wasss a nice theme. The writing style wass amazing and there was a beautiful flow to it that had me pulled into the story. Great job!

Hiss Hiss,
The Basilisk
*slithers back to Chamber*

Author's Response: Ooh, hello there, Basilisk! :) Thank you so much for stopping by on my story - I'm very honoured ;)

And don't worry, I won't tell anyone (mostly because I'm a little bit scared you'd eat me :P).

I'm so glad you liked it - Fleur especially! I like her as a character, so I really wanted to give a slightly less arrogant take on her than usual, haha, hence the loss of words and her difficulty with it. Picking the dress... it's probably the most stereotypically girly scene I've ever written, haha, but I'm glad you liked it - it was so much fun to write! :)

Mahaha, I couldn't resist the French and the rose! :) And I can't claim full credit for the orange theme as it was for a challenge and that was the colour given to me - I just then used it ;)

Thank you so much for the lovely review, Basilisk! :)

Aph xx

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Review #5, by Lady Asphodel Clementine

11th January 2015:
Omg! This is unbelievably cute! :D

This is amazing! Your way with words - it's so smooth, haha!

The colors you describing the dress, I love it! The second line in the first paragraph really sticks out to me.

It's amazing how you made Fleur uncertain of her self, yet you keep her confident through her uncertainty until she got Bill's attention.

And the way you ended - again - it was really great! Even though Bill butchered the French language, hehe!

This is literally amazing for the 500 word challenge. I love reading these! And you did amazingly writing it in Second pov. I have to still attempt it.

That is all! Keep being awesome!

- Asphodel

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by - and for the review swap! :)

I'm so glad you liked it - fluff and generally cheerful/romantic kind of things aren't really my sort of thing, haha - so I was so uncomfortable writing it, but the idea wouldn't let me go!

Aww, thank you! I'm so happy you liked the description - it was so hard to fit into three words what I'd normally say with fifteen, haha.

I loved writing Fleur, actually. This was the second time I did it; she's just such an interesting character with how seemingly perfect she is, and her strength of character, which I always admired. And yeah, she's a girl who gets what she wants even if she's nervous ;)

Haha, yeah Bill kinda murdered it a bit :P I'm glad you liked it, though!

Omigosh, this was the hardest thing I ever had to try and do, though. I'm normally so long-winded, it was a real challenge for me, so I'm so happy you liked it! :)

Second person pov isn't so bad - I'm sure you'd do brilliantly at it ;)

Thank you so much for the review - it was so lovely! :)

Aph xx

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Review #6, by maraudertimes Clementine

6th January 2015:
OMG! So sorry for how long this tool me to finish this review swap!

OMG again! I love this! This was so cute and I love Teddy/Victoire, so it was doubly cute! I loved how Victoire was doubting herself all because of Teddy - super relatable! And the fact that she hinges on wardrobe choices to dictate how her life goes doesn't stray too far from what I think of when I imagine Fleur's oldest child.

The fact that Teddy kind of ignores her until the very end, presumably because he doesn't want to give anything away is probably for the best since Victoire is used to boys falling all over her. But then the orange rose! *Squee* Oh j'adore, and j'adored that he used French even if his accent was terrible, because that just sounds so cute!

This was such a sweet story and I wish it was longer, I really want to know what would happen on their dinner date (unless there is a continuation and I just missed it...) Absolutely stellar story, I'm so glad to have read it! Thanks for the review swap!

Lo :)

Author's Response: Hey, no worries - it's so easy to get caught up in things! (I'm so easily distracted, so I totally understand!)

Thank you so much! It's actually Bill/Fleur, though the mistake is easy enough to make ;) I loved making Fleur insecure - it's a different interpretation of her, I think, than normal, but I liked the idea of it when it came up. And yeah, clothes are so very important to her! :)

Yeah, he 'doesn't notice' her, haha. Really, he does, but it takes time to go out and buy a rose to match the colour of a girl's dress ;) And yeah, Fleur's used to getting what she wants, so it's a strange situation for her to be in. I couldn't resist doing the orange rose and the French question because it was so terribly cliche, you know? :P But it suited them somehow.

No, there's no continuation, unfortunately! I don't think I'm going to be doing a second one - fluff/romance isn't something I'm particularly good at or I'm very fond of, sorry!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, though - it was a story I was so nervous about, so it means a lot! :)

Thank you so much for stopping by, and for the swap! :)

Aph xx

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Review #7, by hangingwallflower Clementine

11th August 2014:
Review tag!

This was a beautiful piece. I really admire how you managed to capture so much in so few words, you really handled the Every Word Count Challenge perfectly. The use of color also really brought something to it - how the color of her dress means so much and is a symbol of her confidence. The characterization of Fleur is excellent and very apparent, even in so few words. I'm also incredibly jealous of your ability to write in second person and the imagery you managed to create with so little.

Very well done, thank you for writing and sharing this!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I was so nervous about doing the Every Word Counts, because I'm so bad at keeping things short, haha, so I'm glad you thought it worked! Colour... I love including colours with things, they're so much fun to write and I loved tying it in with Fleur. She was such a great character to write, and I loved doing this piece so much! I've written quite a bit in second person, but I sort of bumbled my way along with it, haha, so if you want to try it, try it! :)

Thank you so much for the review, it was so lovely, and again for stopping by! :)

Aph xx

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Review #8, by maskedmuggle Clementine

12th July 2014:

Ahh! This was amazing and I really loved it so much! I loved the idea of this, with Fleur trying to pick between a lavender dress or an apricot orange, and noting how with Bill she isn't sure what to do. That just really emphasised already the impact that Bill has had on her. The next part was even more brilliant, especially with the orange rose!! I loved how that just connected so well with the orange dress. Bill using French to ask her out was perfect, and so was her response. This was so beautifully written, and I absolutely loved it! ♥

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so so much! I'm so glad you liked it because it's slowly becoming something I'm actually kinda proud of and so it's nice to see people liking it too :) I can't say the colours, especially the use of orange, was my idea because it was for a challenge, but I'm happy you liked it! Haha, and yeah, Bill really does effect her, but it all works out in the end, since she effects him just as much ;) I just had to include some French at the end... couldn't let the opportunity pass! :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx

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Review #9, by Beeezie Clementine

12th July 2014:
Aw - this was really sweet!

I love the way you captured Fleur. I do think that as the series went on, especially as she and Bill became involved in the Order and suffered losses in the war, she gained some depth and became a little less shallow overall, but this presentation seemed perfect for the Fleur we met in GoF. And, I also thought that it was perfect for someone in this position in general - I think many of us can tend to fixate on fairly insignificant things when we're attracted to someone (or just under pressure in general), especially clothing. Her stress about whether wearing an apricot dress would be too obvious because he has orange hair was perfect.

House Cup 2014 Review - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for dropping by! :)

Thank you! :) I'm so glad you liked Fleur - I really like her as a character because, like you say, she reveals she's so much more than the stereotypical beautiful, stuck-up girl, so I tried to present her as something more than just beautiful and haughty and confident. Haha, and definitely - it took me a while to settle on that scene (it seemed a bit trivial to me, tbh, at the beginning) but it seems to work fairly well, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Thank you so much for the review - it was so great to get! :)

Aph xx

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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 Clementine

12th July 2014:
I love the symbolic-ness that the colors seem to carry. For Fleur, orange=Bill, and wearing orange=wanting Bill. She chooses between the sunny orange-ish apricot color and the coolr lavender, which would show that she is collected and aloof, I think. But apricot orange signifies that she's totally a mess underneath her composed exterior. :)

Awww, Bill, you sweetheart. An orange rose? They should've seriously considered having those colors at their wedding for the color scheme. Then the orange would clash with the Weasley hair, and it would be totally beautiful. :D

Okay, this review is rambly and weird. But I hope that I've expressed my enjoyment of this short little story! :)

House Cup 2014 Review


Author's Response: Hi Mallory! :) Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

I can't really claim all the credit, since orange was the colour I was given, but I liked the idea of it tying into Bill's hair colour, haha. Plus, for someone like Fleur it could be a genuine worry :P Yeah, lavender is much more calm and serene, I think, while orange is a bit brighter and more bubbly and hints at more emotion (though I think you put it a lot better! :P)

Haha, I did like making Bill smooth - he kinda felt like he should be, you know? And yes, they should have! It would be have been wonderfully clashing and strangely symbolic, haha.

No worries - it's not that rambly or weird :P And thank you, I'm so glad you like it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #11, by kenpo Clementine

11th July 2014:
I don't know why I haven't read this before! I knew that it was good, but I honestly had no idea what it was about or the length or... or anything about it, really. It was good! I was not disappointed.

I like a good Bill/Fleur, and this was no exception. You made her such a lovely character, and someone that's easy to connect with. At the same time, though, you didn't take her out of character. She's still Fleur, but you've shown a side of her that's often missing.

I loved Bill! He only makes a brief appearance, but it says so much about him. The (bad) French was adorable. You also give a lot of characterisation to him just by how he makes Fleur feel, and how he makes her rethink what she normally does. They changed each other, and that's really good!

This was a really great one-shot! I'm so glad that I finally got around to reading it!


-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it - it was a fairly strange think to write for me, haha.

I love Bill/Fleur, too, they're such a sweet pairing, I think, and I've always felt sorry for how people often portray Fleur, so I liked showing her in a nicer light here, being worried and stressed. Ha, the fashion bit was mostly to help with the Fleur feel - so I'm so glad you think she was still in character! :)

I'm so glad you liked Bill - I never know what's enough or not in stories, haha, so the rose was there mostly to fulfil the colour requirements, and then the French... gah, I couldn't resist putting it in! :D

Thank you so so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx

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Review #12, by Pretense Of Perfection Clementine

11th July 2014:
Aw, I really love reading a good Bill/Fleur, and this was no exception. I think you did a wonderful job at making Fleur as someone that is easier to relate to than she is typically written, both in fanfiction and even in canon. With what seems like every member of the male species drooling over her, and her part veela heritage, I often thought she was an intimidating and unapproachable character, but you really managed to change that. I love you how showed that she can be insecure and doubt herself, despite her beauty, just like every single other girl out there. I love her indecision to choose between the lavender and apricot dresses, and that tiny flicker of self-doubt. Her desire to not appear desperate or over-eager add the perfect touch of humanity to her character, and I'm so impressed words can't even describe it. My only offer of CC is sort of more of a question, but toward the end she is "irritated" with him, and I'm not entirely sure why, it read a bit weird for me I guess. Mainly just because, for me at least, when I like someone, it takes a lot for them to irritate me, and I'd probably be more excited, anxious, or fidgety if it were me. It's obviously such a trivial little thing, but I always try and point out something if I can, but seriously, I LOVED this so so much, I'm definitely going to have to read some more of your work.

--house cup 2o14 review--

Author's Response: Yay, another Bill/Fleur fan! :D Thank you so much - I'm so glad you like the way I wrote Fleur in this. I think she's often given a bit of a bad rep in fanfiction, which isn't wholly deserved, so I liked having the chance to write her a bit more sympathetically. And yeah, she seems so untouchable! I'm so glad you liked that - I wanted to show her as fallible, as struggling and I liked the idea of her struggling with what to do when she wants someone, not she is wanted, if that makes sense. It helped that it tied in with the emotion and colour I was given in the challenge! :P Ooh, I don't really remember, tbh... the only thing I can think is that from memory it was meant to be more of an 'she's irritated with him because she's disappointed' kinda thing? Like rather than getting down, she's kinda blaming him for, as she thinks, not noticing? I dunno if it makes sense, sorry!

Thank you so so much for the lovely review, and all the compliments! :)

Aph xx

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Review #13, by ginnypotter242 Clementine

10th July 2014:
Aww, that's adorable. Bill and Fleur have such a cute relationship, I wish we could have seen more of them in the books! I love them because they seem so different at first. A beautiful, elegant, French part veela and a blood traitor Weasley with a dragon fan earring- not your typical couple! You definitely explored Fleur here in an interesting way. I have no doubt that Fleur always looked completely flawless and payed strict attention to what she wore and how she looked. The bit with the color of the outfit was sweet- the fact that she chose her outfit with Bill in mind and went for the color of his hair is adorable.

Bill at the end was sweet! An orange rose, and asking her out in French? I can totally see Bill doing that for her. He's such a sweetie :) I can totally see him trying to learn French to impress her, and the rose was a nice touch. Who knew that Bill could be such a romantic?

The fact that you wrote this in 2nd person makes it really interesting. It's such a hard way to write, but you did it really well and it worked out great. It flowed well and didn't seem awkward or choppy like a lot of stories in 2nd person do. This was a beautiful one shot! Great job with every part of it!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hi Sara! :) Thank you so much for stopping by! These are all such lovely surprises to wake up to! :)

Thank you - I'm so glad you liked it! :) And me too! I loved the way they were presented, as so different but somehow falling in love despite that, and it's something I've always been curious about... Fleur... omigosh, I love Fleur after writing this! I've always liked her, but actually writing her is so much fun! I liked exploring how she was always so well-dressed and co-ordinated and Bill kinda turns that on its head and confuses her, it was an interesting change from how I've been her written a lot.

Bill! I loved writing Bill - he's such a softie, haha :P I couldn't resist including the French given that it was Bill/Fleur, and the rose just had to be orange since it was the colour for the challenge... so it was sort of always going to happen :P But yes, Bill Weasley = secret romantic :P

I honestly really like writing in 2nd person, though I haven't done it in a while - I've been trying to explore other things and branch out a bit, haha - so it was so nice to come back to it in this, so I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you so much for the lovely review - it was so great to get! :)

Aph xx

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Review #14, by Karou_Marauder Clementine

10th July 2014:

Aw, this is cute! You've shown Fleur as insecure about her dress for the first time, which kinda foreshadows the fact that he's the one for her, as we know by the fact that they end up married. :P It's also really cute that he gets an orange rose, to match her dress. It shows he thought about it and about her a lot over lunch. Fleur's little bit of self-doubt, uncommon for her, is nicely placed too.

It's so sweet that Bill bothered to learn French just for her sake, because she's French. It again shows how much thought he's put into her and asking her to dinner. It's also kinda funny that his accent is terrible. I dunno, I just found that little part funny :P

-Karou, 2014 House Cup Review

Author's Response: Hey there! :)

I'm so glad you like it! You know, I didn't really think about the idea of potential foreshadowing, haha, but it kinda does - thank you so much for mentioning that! (I have a habit of doing those kinds of things...) Haha, the orange rose - honestly, when I wrote it, I thought it might be a bit too much, seeing as I'm hopeless at romance/fluff, lol, so it's so great you like it!

I really love Fleur and Bill as characters and as a couple. I think it's one of those little background things which just really fits, in some weird unpredictable kinda way :P Ah French, haha, well, I love French myself so I had to throw some in, and yeah it adds a bit to Bill for him to do it, I think. Yeah, the terrible accent - well, something had to go not-quite-write, haha, and that was it! But accents are hard, so it kinda made sense, and I hoped it would make people smile so I'm glad it made you laugh ;)

Gah, this was so hard for me to write so I'm so so glad you liked it and thought it was good and all - thank you so so much for the lovely review and for stopping by! :)

Aph xx

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Review #15, by HarrietHopkirk Clementine

10th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is just beautiful! Really, really beautiful, and I really enjoyed reading it. Well done and thank you for writing it.

I love Fleur's thought process. She seems so confident in her looks and set in her ways. Her picking out the dress was a perfect moment to describe, and your language and word choice really suited the pleasant tone of the piece. Really very pretty and romantic and sweet and everything.

Before Half Blood Prince, I really only thought of Fleur as being stuck up and self centered, but suitably badass as she was the Beauxbatons champion. Obviously that changes with the whole 'I am good looking for the both of us, I think!' and she remains one of my fave characters. This fic humanizes her, and it's lovely to see how Bill swept her off her feet :) I loved his little foray in French! So cute!

A really beautiful one shot. Favoriting!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for dropping by to review! :) I'm slightly in awe of you, so to get this from you was just amazing :)

Gah, thank you so so much for that! I'm so happy you liked Fleur - she's one of those characters people always seem to write stereotypically, I think, because in the beginning she is fairly stereotypical: the pretty, clever girl who's haughty and stuck up and all... but I love showing her as a different kind of person, kinda more real. Gosh, the moments in this... I wrote at least 300 more words than the limit, haha, so it was really hard to cut it down, so I'm so glad you liked the ones eventually in it!

Thank you so so much for the review and the favourite - I honestly struggled so much with writing this response because I just didn't know what to say. At all. Thank you! :) :)

Aph xx

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Review #16, by nott theodore Clementine

10th July 2014:
Hi again, Laura!

Ah, this was such a lovely story! I really like Bill and Fleur together but I've never really read a lot of stories about them, but I love the fact that you wrote about the very beginning of their relationship. I like the way that it started so simply, it's a really refreshing change from the dramatic way most relationships seem to start in stories.

The portrayal of Fleur here was fantastic. I loved the fact that you showed how confident she normally is but she's got Bill on her mind and he's making her question herself, which is really cute - it's something so simple to show the attraction. And she's so impatient for him to notice her, it's really cute. I loved the fact that they were so nervous around each other when they're starting out, and the fact that he asked her out in French (well, just that you included French in this story at all) has made me smile so much! It's so cute and adorable and this story has just made me love Bill and Fleur even more!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey Sian! :) Thanks so much for stopping by - it was such a lovely surprise to get, and totally unexpected, so it really made my day! :)

I'm so glad that you liked it - it's honestly one of the biggest challenges I've ever given myself and I found it so hard to do, so it means so much to hear. I, er, actually don't like reading romance much so I don't really know how relationships tend to start in those kinds of stories, haha :P I'm glad you liked it, though! :)

Thank you so much! I really like Fleur as a character - I think there's so much to her that we don't see because of how little she's in the books, so I loved exploring her more in this, even if not that much! Ah, I'm so happy you liked the fluff and all, as I was so nervous about that. Fluff and me do not get on well at all :P I love French, so... yeah :P I couldn't not include it! :D

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, and congrats on doing so many (seriously, it's amazing! :D)!

Aph xx

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Review #17, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Clementine

9th July 2014:
Hey there!!

Oh my goodness, I can't tell you how wonderful this is!! I literally have the biggest smile on my face, it's so so cute!! I need to read more Bill/Fleur.

I love the confidence you have to Fleur. Well, I should say confidence that Fleur usually has. I equally loved how much she was doubting herself with bill... A mark of how much she likes him I guess. It was very well written though. Then, once she has grabbed his attention I like that he left her guessing a little while, again I think her impatience shows us how much she like him. Then, oh my goodness I absolutely adore the fact he asked her out in French. That's honestly really cute, I loved it. Again you show us how nervous she is around him, and also him around her... His voice shaking slightly.

All in all I thought this was so a cute missing moment story, I loved it!!

Lauren :)
House cup review 2014

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much - and yes, you should! They're such a lovely ship :D

I'm so glad you liked Fleur - I know she's not always a particularly well-liked character, so I liked being able to show her as being a bit more, well, normal, I guess :P She's always portrayed as very confident, so it was fun to kinda turn that on its head, at the same time as showing it :P And haha, I just had to include the French! It was almost mandatory, given it was Fleur :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! It was so great to get! :)

Aph xx

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Review #18, by jessicalorewrites Clementine

9th July 2014:

I'm utterly blown away by how well you accentuate the colours in this oneshot. It's short at only 500 words but your rich use of language means that I can quite literally picture the entire scene in my head. In fact, I really like how you went with Fleur wearing orange. Purely because many consider her stuck up and pretentious; an ice queen who only wears varying shades of white and blue. In this, the orange gives her much-needed warmth.

The French Bill speaks at the end is utterly ADORABLE! The fact he went to all that effort to learn it, just to ask her to dinner. Also, it suggests that he's been interested for a long time which is just cute, cute, cute.

I wish there were more because I adore your characterisation of these two :(


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much! I can't honestly claim all of the credit for that, since the colour orange was given to me in the challenge. I did like it with Fleur, though, because as you say people mostly talk about her wearing blue and things, and orange seemed a nice counterpoint to it.

Haha, I couldn't resist putting it in - and it felt very natural for him to at least try and say it in French, given how he gives her English lessons (wink wink :P), so it seemed to be fair.

Ah, I'm sorry! I do really like them as a pairing, so maybe there'll be more in the future. Who knows? ;P

Thank you so much for the great review! :)

Aph xx

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Review #19, by TidalDragon Clementine

7th July 2014:

As I tackle this reviewing task, for some reason I've been drawn to stories involving Fleur. I find she's an often untapped or easily caricatured person in stories, so it's always refreshing to find something where that's not the case.

Here, I really enjoyed what you did with the length of the piece. One of the things I always notice when people try to keep themselves to 500 words or so is that they occasionally produce this delightful stories where elaborate plot is avoided, soaring language is less prevalent, and you just get a pure, organic story that feels like it could have come out of real life. I think that's what you achieved her and I found it really enjoyable.

You spent a lot of your words on characterization, which I think was crucial because it allowed this piece to have a definite "Fleur" vibe, while still staying within the constraint you were looking for. Even with those limitations, you did something interesting, portraying Fleur as actually struggling with confidence, behavior, and even speech around Bill, but in a way that didn't make her seem foolish. Her choice between dress colors and consideration of his hair color made her seem a bit more of the sophisticated person we know, while still exploring her nerves around him.

Overall, I thought the story was very well done!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by - it means so much and it's so great to get! I'm constantly surprised! :)

I have to admit that I love Fleur as a character and wish I had more ideas for stories about her because she's such a cool, interesting character - and yeah, like you say, people often show her as one way or the other, which I don't really like, tbh.

Omigosh, I'm so glad you liked it - this was such a challenge for me, since I'm so bad at keeping things short and concise, so I really struggled with this. Thank you so much! :)

I really liked the idea of Fleur struggling with something she normally finds difficult when she finds that she likes someone - I think it's a very human and a very normal thing to happen, and I kinda wanted to bring her out of the 'haughty fairy princess' thing and to being a person, if that makes sense. Plus, it was a fairly easy way to tie in the colour to the emotion :P

Thank you so much for the review - it was so great! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story - and thank you again for all the lovely compliments! :)

Aph xx

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Review #20, by awesomepotter Clementine

7th June 2014:
Hey there! I'm here for our lovely review swap :)
I'm just going to start by congratulating you on writing in second person! You maintained it really well throughout the piece, and I think it really suits the situation because you used it so effectively. I'm terrible at second person, so big clap ;)
I really like Fleur's worries about the dress - her insecurities really show how nervous she is and also how strongly she feels for Bill all without actually stating it, especially when you talk about how confident she usually is and how easy a decision her wardrobe is most of the time. I love how she worries about the colour of the dress being the same colour as Bill's hair, only for Bill to give her an orange rose. I can't quite explain why, but I really liked that and found it quite endearingly sweet. It's funny how she seems to be confident and elegant in his presence, yet as soon as he isn't she starts overthinking things and allowing her mind to run away with itself, overthinking things.
It's really lovely how you've kept things bare, as well - leaving most of the details like places and people out of the piece so we can really focus on Fleur's thoughts and the interaction between the two main characters. Allowing us really see how Fleur is thinking during this piece definitely makes it a very interesting one-shot.
I'm afraid I will have to confess that I'm terrible at reviews, and especially the constructive criticism part. I'm usually so overawed at the standard of the writing that I simply can't think of any way in which it could be better (as I am with this one!) Congratulations on the wonderful work, I really did enjoy reading your piece. Sorry the review is so short, but like I said, I did really love it and I can;t think of any way in which I could have loved it more!

Thanks for such a lovely story,
awesomepotter xxx

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for the review and for the swap! It was so much fun to do! :)

Thanks! :) I actually really like writing in second person, and it just seemed to fit so well with this when I started writing, so I just went with it :P I'm glad you like it, though!

I'm so happy you liked Fleur - she's one of those characters people love to hate, I think, and I really loved writing her in this because Bill and Fleur are one of those couples I love. I wanted to show her as less perfect than people often show her to be, hence the dress confusion and all - plus it tied in rather neatly with the colour and emotion from the challenge, so I can't claim total credit for that ;) Haha, the orange rose - yeah, I couldn't resist! Also, again, it helped with the colour theme, so not all mine, in a sense! Omigosh, I'm so glad you liked it being so kinda stripped back, because I'm so bad at writing short things - I usually write really long things - so this was such a challenge for me.

Aww, no, no worries about any of it! This was such a lovely review to get, and such a great swap to do - so thank you again for both of them, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

Aph xx

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Review #21, by Lululuna Clementine

26th May 2014:
Hola! :)

This story is so adorable! Gah, I love BIll and Fleur so much and this was such a great little exploration into the beginning of their relationship. I thought Fleur was captured so well, with how you explained that she likes to be noticed, knows it's important to be noticed, but she's also thrown off her guard by Bill just like he is by her. It was so sweet how such a little thing, like what colour she's wearing, is so important for her and how she obsesses about the little details to catch his attention.

I actually loved the feelings of a nervous crush here and totally can relate, you wrote it so well and believably and Fleur felt so real here, I really felt nervous and excited along with her. The fact that she was worried about apricot because it matches his hair - that she's analyzed it to that extent - was great and only accentuated by the fact that he did notice, and brought her a flower in the same colour. Too sweet!

This was such an adorable story, and so well written as always. I loved it! :)

Author's Response: Hi Jenna! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Ah, thank you so much! I'm so nervous about fluff because it's really not my kind of thing, at all - reading or writing, really - so it was so hard to do. I really liked writing Fleur, so I'm glad you liked my interpretation of her! I liked linking it in to fashion and looks and things because it seemed a very Fleur thing to be worried about, haha.

I'm so glad you thought the emotions came through - I never know what is too much/too little, and particularly with fluff it was so hard to know what was too much. I really wanted it to be kinda relateable, and the theme of orange was such a great one to get in the challenge. Haha, the flower thing I couldn't resist doing that :P

Gah, thank you so so much for the review! It was so great to get! :)

Aph xx

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Review #22, by teh tarik Clementine

29th April 2014:
Hello Aph! I'm finally here with a review for the TGS swap. Sorry for being so late with this! I'm really glad we were paired up this month because I think it's been some time since I read any of your lovely writing.

And gah, this was such an absolutely gorgeous one-shot. You definitely made the most of the Colour & Emotion Challenge, and while reading, I had a very visual image of Fleur going through her wardobe of rustling silks and softly-coloured dresses, trying to select the perfect outfit. Your prose was so vividly painted with apricots and peach and all shades of orange; I think it's a wonderful colour to associate with Fleur - orange to bring out her lively personality, but the gentler shade of apricot also softens any Veela harshness or aloofness that she might have inherited. I hope I'm making sense here! I also love how you tied in the seasons and atmospheres and weather to her choice of dress. Selecting an outfit is far from simple for Fleur!

It's lovely to see Fleur written this way; before her usual confidence returns, there's that moment of uncertainty, a genuine earnestness when it comes to her feelings for Bill and just how much she's attracted to him. I feel that it's a rare moment of vulnerability for her, and she definitely knows this, and feels rather irritable (especially toward Bill!) about the uncertainty surrounding him. And I love that moment when her confidence snaps back on; the use of second person POV was great there - you shouldn't doubt yourself. Imagining Fleur chiding herself for that.

And gah, the way you've written Bill is wonderful as well. So romantic, offering her a rose the same colour as her dress; Fleur has calculated well - he definitely noticed her, and was definitely drawn to her choice of colour. I also love the fact that he asks her to dinner in her own language, and it's a lovely subtle moment, especially when you consider that she's in England to learn English.

Anyway, this was a beautiful one-shot, Aph! It's so carefully written, and there's a delicateness to your prose, and of course, the fluffy ending! ♥ Bill/Fleur does not get written enough, and I think you've done an amazing job writing them. ♥


Author's Response: Hi there, teh! Thanks so much for stopping by! :) And yeah, I'm so glad we were paired up, too - I always love reading your work because it's always so beautiful! :)

I loved writing all the colours and imagery - I actually looked up shades of orange on the web, haha, just so get it right so I knew what I was writing, lol - and it's such a compliment to hear you say something as lovely as that, considering how gorgeous your writing is! :) Strangely enough, when I got the colour and emotion, Bill/Fleur just came to mind - it really wasn't intentional at all! - and I just had to write the plunny, so I can't really take full credit for that! But yeah, I think it's different from all the blues and greens and icy-cold sorts of colours, so I liked it :) And haha, yeah, really not simple! :P

I really liked writing Fleur, and I wanted to give a different slant on her, because sometimes I think people tend to write her as being very aloof and arrogant and things, and I'm not overly fond of sticking to the status quo in that respect ;) And yeah, it's sort of a misplaced irritation, because she's annoyed because she fancies him, rather than anything else - her problem is with herself, but she's transposing it onto him, if that makes sense. Poor Fleur, though she does get it all back! I couldn't have her stay unconfident for the whole thing! :P

Hehe, I couldn't resist that bit! :P I really wanted to include Bill and that sort of moment, and I imagine Bill as being strangely romantic, secretly, hence part of why he's such a charmer, so hence the rose and the French phrase to ask her out :P I actually didn't think of the learning English thing, tbh, but I kinda like the juxtaposition of those now... thanks so much for mentioning that! :D

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review - it was so lovely to get! And I'm so sorry about the late response! :)

Aph xx

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Review #23, by True Author Clementine

13th April 2014:
Aww, this was so sweet! I'm full of Bill/Fleur feels right now. :D

So when you mentioned that you have written a Bill/Fleur one-shot recently, I couldn't resist reading this one. :P But I'm so glad I did! Your writing style is amazing and you did a wonderful job in such a short word count!

I asume you were given the color apricot orange in the challenge? If so, the story got along with it very well. I wasn't sure if the color would look too good on Fleur, but I loved the thing that she was doing it for Bill. I just love them together! Even in the books, I felt they were meant to be together. :)

Aww, he asked her in French! :S That was certainly my favorite. So adorable! And the rose! :D

Really great job! Thanks for the review swap!


Author's Response: Hi Ashwini, thanks so much for stopping by! :) I'm so happy to hear that!

It's the first Bill/Fleur thing I've ever written - bit of a surprise given the soft spot I have for them! Ah, I'm so glad you thought the word count was alright - it was honestly the hardest thing I've ever done for writing. Had to cut so much out... :P

Yeah, it was light orange - not quite that specific - but once I'd started the food colours, I couldn't really stop, and it fitted well enough! I don't really know how well it would look on her either, haha, it was just the colour, so I sort of went with it anyway.

I'm so happy you liked the ending - it's probably one of the fluffiest things I've ever written, and I wondered if it was too much...

Thank you so much for both the swap and the great review! It was so much fun swapping with you! :)

Aph xx

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Review #24, by BookDinosaur Clementine

12th April 2014:
APH! LAURA! AH *flails*

Oh my god. The feels. I am such a sucker for a well-written Bill/Fleur because they're not actually that common in the archives. I can't, I just can't. I saw this and wanted to read it, and I never expected the feels. I think you've just sucker-punched me Laura. (Oh yeah, review swap!)

I think - this was just adorable. I can't say anything else! I loved the second-person POV you chose to narrate story with, somehow it made Fleur so relatable and I actually didn't really notice it, because the flow was that smooth.

I love how insecure you've made her. It's so nice to see that normally she's confident in these kinds of matters, but with Bill it's so lovely to see how nervous she gets. I really like how unfamiliar it is for her to feel insecure, it really ties in well with her character in the books. her nervousness is kind of showing that she really does care, she cares so much that she starts to doubt herself, and once I've put it down like that it sounds not nice at all but somehow you made it so sweet, I swear my heart melted. It's so touching to see how much his opinion matters to her.

And aww, Bill! Just the fact that he put so much effort in to get that orange rose to match her dress and learn to ask her out in French was so adorable, showing that he really cares as well and just d'aww. I wonder how he learnt the phrase? I can just imagine him practicing it to try and get it right. :)

I think you incorporated the colour and the emotion into this story really well, I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't known from before that you'd entered the challenge. Also, this is only 500 words but it seems like more and less at the same time and you did a great job fitting all the emotions and flow into 500 words alone. Every word and phrase had a purpose.

Overall, Aph, this was amazing and I'm really, really glad I had the chance to read it. This will definitely be taking a place on my favourites list, and thank you so much for the review swap, I enjoyed it loads! ♥

Author's Response: EMILY! AH! *flails back* :)

Haha, me too - I love them so much as a pairing, and yet they're never written! Strangely enough, I'm pretty sure there's been a whole bunch of one-shots about them recently... weird...

Thank you! :) I've kinda missed writing second person, you know? It's been so long since I last did it, so it was a bit odd coming back to it - I'm glad you thought it fitted, though!

I'm so happy you liked Fleur, too! I always feel she's often given a bit of a short stick in fanfiction - people viewing her as haughty and all - so I wanted to show a different side to her, and it helped that the emotion for the challenge was 'desire', I think. I'm glad you liked the nervousness and her caring about his opinion - I was a little nervous about overdoing it!

Haha, yeah, in front of his mirror! :P I really, really wanted to tie the colour in and the idea was just too cute, haha! I've always thought he'd be kinda romantic and smooth - or, at least, he'd certainly think he was, lol!

Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you thought it worked with the limited word count and the colour and all - gosh, the 500 words was so hard! I had to cut about 100 out in editing, lol. Took forever...

Gah, thank you so much again, Emily! I'm so so happy you liked this so much - it's so completely different for me, and not anything like what I normally write, so it means so much you liked it!

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review (and the favourite! Wow! :hug:)!

Aph xx

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Review #25, by AlexFan Clementine

10th April 2014:
Oh my goodness, I love this so much because it's so cute and sweet. I love how you made Fleur insecure and unsure about what she was doing around Bill. I love how you showed in so few words how a confident woman like Fleur turned into a girl who began to doubt every choice that she made when she was around Bill because she was just so nervous.

It got even better at the end when Bill shows up at her job and asks her out in French. Just the fact that he went through so much effort to ask her to dinner in a way that might impress her was wonderful. It was just the effort that he put in just for Fleur.

This brightened my day, well done on it!

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

I'm so happy you like Fleur - I wanted to show a different side to her, that she really likes him and all, you know, since I think that's often glossed over. So yeah, she was very nervous and unsure, which I think is something which is pretty common.

Haha, yeah, I wanted to have the actual asking her out moment, because I wanted to kind of tie it together, and end it on a light note - something I don't do often, lol! And yeah, Bill is lovely - I'm so glad you like being all thoughtful and romantic! :)

This was something I was really unsure about and really out of my comfort zone, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Thank you for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx

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