Reading Reviews for Clementine
  
26 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hangingwallflower Clementine

11th August 2014:
Review tag!

This was a beautiful piece. I really admire how you managed to capture so much in so few words, you really handled the Every Word Count Challenge perfectly. The use of color also really brought something to it - how the color of her dress means so much and is a symbol of her confidence. The characterization of Fleur is excellent and very apparent, even in so few words. I'm also incredibly jealous of your ability to write in second person and the imagery you managed to create with so little.

Very well done, thank you for writing and sharing this!

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I was so nervous about doing the Every Word Counts, because I'm so bad at keeping things short, haha, so I'm glad you thought it worked! Colour... I love including colours with things, they're so much fun to write and I loved tying it in with Fleur. She was such a great character to write, and I loved doing this piece so much! I've written quite a bit in second person, but I sort of bumbled my way along with it, haha, so if you want to try it, try it! :)

Thank you so much for the review, it was so lovely, and again for stopping by! :)

Aph xx


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Review #2, by maskedmuggle Clementine

12th July 2014:
Hey!

Ahh! This was amazing and I really loved it so much! I loved the idea of this, with Fleur trying to pick between a lavender dress or an apricot orange, and noting how with Bill she isn't sure what to do. That just really emphasised already the impact that Bill has had on her. The next part was even more brilliant, especially with the orange rose!! I loved how that just connected so well with the orange dress. Bill using French to ask her out was perfect, and so was her response. This was so beautifully written, and I absolutely loved it! ♥

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so so much! I'm so glad you liked it because it's slowly becoming something I'm actually kinda proud of and so it's nice to see people liking it too :) I can't say the colours, especially the use of orange, was my idea because it was for a challenge, but I'm happy you liked it! Haha, and yeah, Bill really does effect her, but it all works out in the end, since she effects him just as much ;) I just had to include some French at the end... couldn't let the opportunity pass! :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #3, by Beeezie Clementine

12th July 2014:
Aw - this was really sweet!

I love the way you captured Fleur. I do think that as the series went on, especially as she and Bill became involved in the Order and suffered losses in the war, she gained some depth and became a little less shallow overall, but this presentation seemed perfect for the Fleur we met in GoF. And, I also thought that it was perfect for someone in this position in general - I think many of us can tend to fixate on fairly insignificant things when we're attracted to someone (or just under pressure in general), especially clothing. Her stress about whether wearing an apricot dress would be too obvious because he has orange hair was perfect.

House Cup 2014 Review - Ravenclaw

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for dropping by! :)

Thank you! :) I'm so glad you liked Fleur - I really like her as a character because, like you say, she reveals she's so much more than the stereotypical beautiful, stuck-up girl, so I tried to present her as something more than just beautiful and haughty and confident. Haha, and definitely - it took me a while to settle on that scene (it seemed a bit trivial to me, tbh, at the beginning) but it seems to work fairly well, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Thank you so much for the review - it was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 Clementine

12th July 2014:
I love the symbolic-ness that the colors seem to carry. For Fleur, orange=Bill, and wearing orange=wanting Bill. She chooses between the sunny orange-ish apricot color and the coolr lavender, which would show that she is collected and aloof, I think. But apricot orange signifies that she's totally a mess underneath her composed exterior. :)

Awww, Bill, you sweetheart. An orange rose? They should've seriously considered having those colors at their wedding for the color scheme. Then the orange would clash with the Weasley hair, and it would be totally beautiful. :D

Okay, this review is rambly and weird. But I hope that I've expressed my enjoyment of this short little story! :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi Mallory! :) Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

I can't really claim all the credit, since orange was the colour I was given, but I liked the idea of it tying into Bill's hair colour, haha. Plus, for someone like Fleur it could be a genuine worry :P Yeah, lavender is much more calm and serene, I think, while orange is a bit brighter and more bubbly and hints at more emotion (though I think you put it a lot better! :P)

Haha, I did like making Bill smooth - he kinda felt like he should be, you know? And yes, they should have! It would be have been wonderfully clashing and strangely symbolic, haha.

No worries - it's not that rambly or weird :P And thank you, I'm so glad you like it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #5, by kenpo Clementine

11th July 2014:
I don't know why I haven't read this before! I knew that it was good, but I honestly had no idea what it was about or the length or... or anything about it, really. It was good! I was not disappointed.

I like a good Bill/Fleur, and this was no exception. You made her such a lovely character, and someone that's easy to connect with. At the same time, though, you didn't take her out of character. She's still Fleur, but you've shown a side of her that's often missing.

I loved Bill! He only makes a brief appearance, but it says so much about him. The (bad) French was adorable. You also give a lot of characterisation to him just by how he makes Fleur feel, and how he makes her rethink what she normally does. They changed each other, and that's really good!

This was a really great one-shot! I'm so glad that I finally got around to reading it!

-Georgia

-House Cup 2014 Review-

Author's Response: Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked it - it was a fairly strange think to write for me, haha.

I love Bill/Fleur, too, they're such a sweet pairing, I think, and I've always felt sorry for how people often portray Fleur, so I liked showing her in a nicer light here, being worried and stressed. Ha, the fashion bit was mostly to help with the Fleur feel - so I'm so glad you think she was still in character! :)

I'm so glad you liked Bill - I never know what's enough or not in stories, haha, so the rose was there mostly to fulfil the colour requirements, and then the French... gah, I couldn't resist putting it in! :D

Thank you so so much for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #6, by Pretense Of Perfection Clementine

11th July 2014:
Aw, I really love reading a good Bill/Fleur, and this was no exception. I think you did a wonderful job at making Fleur as someone that is easier to relate to than she is typically written, both in fanfiction and even in canon. With what seems like every member of the male species drooling over her, and her part veela heritage, I often thought she was an intimidating and unapproachable character, but you really managed to change that. I love you how showed that she can be insecure and doubt herself, despite her beauty, just like every single other girl out there. I love her indecision to choose between the lavender and apricot dresses, and that tiny flicker of self-doubt. Her desire to not appear desperate or over-eager add the perfect touch of humanity to her character, and I'm so impressed words can't even describe it. My only offer of CC is sort of more of a question, but toward the end she is "irritated" with him, and I'm not entirely sure why, it read a bit weird for me I guess. Mainly just because, for me at least, when I like someone, it takes a lot for them to irritate me, and I'd probably be more excited, anxious, or fidgety if it were me. It's obviously such a trivial little thing, but I always try and point out something if I can, but seriously, I LOVED this so so much, I'm definitely going to have to read some more of your work.

--house cup 2o14 review--
gryffindor

Author's Response: Yay, another Bill/Fleur fan! :D Thank you so much - I'm so glad you like the way I wrote Fleur in this. I think she's often given a bit of a bad rep in fanfiction, which isn't wholly deserved, so I liked having the chance to write her a bit more sympathetically. And yeah, she seems so untouchable! I'm so glad you liked that - I wanted to show her as fallible, as struggling and I liked the idea of her struggling with what to do when she wants someone, not she is wanted, if that makes sense. It helped that it tied in with the emotion and colour I was given in the challenge! :P Ooh, I don't really remember, tbh... the only thing I can think is that from memory it was meant to be more of an 'she's irritated with him because she's disappointed' kinda thing? Like rather than getting down, she's kinda blaming him for, as she thinks, not noticing? I dunno if it makes sense, sorry!

Thank you so so much for the lovely review, and all the compliments! :)

Aph xx


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Review #7, by ginnypotter242 Clementine

10th July 2014:
Aww, that's adorable. Bill and Fleur have such a cute relationship, I wish we could have seen more of them in the books! I love them because they seem so different at first. A beautiful, elegant, French part veela and a blood traitor Weasley with a dragon fan earring- not your typical couple! You definitely explored Fleur here in an interesting way. I have no doubt that Fleur always looked completely flawless and payed strict attention to what she wore and how she looked. The bit with the color of the outfit was sweet- the fact that she chose her outfit with Bill in mind and went for the color of his hair is adorable.

Bill at the end was sweet! An orange rose, and asking her out in French? I can totally see Bill doing that for her. He's such a sweetie :) I can totally see him trying to learn French to impress her, and the rose was a nice touch. Who knew that Bill could be such a romantic?

The fact that you wrote this in 2nd person makes it really interesting. It's such a hard way to write, but you did it really well and it worked out great. It flowed well and didn't seem awkward or choppy like a lot of stories in 2nd person do. This was a beautiful one shot! Great job with every part of it!

~Sara (House Cup 2014 Review)

Author's Response: Hi Sara! :) Thank you so much for stopping by! These are all such lovely surprises to wake up to! :)

Thank you - I'm so glad you liked it! :) And me too! I loved the way they were presented, as so different but somehow falling in love despite that, and it's something I've always been curious about... Fleur... omigosh, I love Fleur after writing this! I've always liked her, but actually writing her is so much fun! I liked exploring how she was always so well-dressed and co-ordinated and Bill kinda turns that on its head and confuses her, it was an interesting change from how I've been her written a lot.

Bill! I loved writing Bill - he's such a softie, haha :P I couldn't resist including the French given that it was Bill/Fleur, and the rose just had to be orange since it was the colour for the challenge... so it was sort of always going to happen :P But yes, Bill Weasley = secret romantic :P

I honestly really like writing in 2nd person, though I haven't done it in a while - I've been trying to explore other things and branch out a bit, haha - so it was so nice to come back to it in this, so I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you so much for the lovely review - it was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #8, by Karou_Marauder Clementine

10th July 2014:
Hiya!

Aw, this is cute! You've shown Fleur as insecure about her dress for the first time, which kinda foreshadows the fact that he's the one for her, as we know by the fact that they end up married. :P It's also really cute that he gets an orange rose, to match her dress. It shows he thought about it and about her a lot over lunch. Fleur's little bit of self-doubt, uncommon for her, is nicely placed too.

It's so sweet that Bill bothered to learn French just for her sake, because she's French. It again shows how much thought he's put into her and asking her to dinner. It's also kinda funny that his accent is terrible. I dunno, I just found that little part funny :P

-Karou, 2014 House Cup Review

Author's Response: Hey there! :)

I'm so glad you like it! You know, I didn't really think about the idea of potential foreshadowing, haha, but it kinda does - thank you so much for mentioning that! (I have a habit of doing those kinds of things...) Haha, the orange rose - honestly, when I wrote it, I thought it might be a bit too much, seeing as I'm hopeless at romance/fluff, lol, so it's so great you like it!

I really love Fleur and Bill as characters and as a couple. I think it's one of those little background things which just really fits, in some weird unpredictable kinda way :P Ah French, haha, well, I love French myself so I had to throw some in, and yeah it adds a bit to Bill for him to do it, I think. Yeah, the terrible accent - well, something had to go not-quite-write, haha, and that was it! But accents are hard, so it kinda made sense, and I hoped it would make people smile so I'm glad it made you laugh ;)

Gah, this was so hard for me to write so I'm so so glad you liked it and thought it was good and all - thank you so so much for the lovely review and for stopping by! :)

Aph xx


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Review #9, by HarrietHopkirk Clementine

10th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

This is just beautiful! Really, really beautiful, and I really enjoyed reading it. Well done and thank you for writing it.

I love Fleur's thought process. She seems so confident in her looks and set in her ways. Her picking out the dress was a perfect moment to describe, and your language and word choice really suited the pleasant tone of the piece. Really very pretty and romantic and sweet and everything.

Before Half Blood Prince, I really only thought of Fleur as being stuck up and self centered, but suitably badass as she was the Beauxbatons champion. Obviously that changes with the whole 'I am good looking for the both of us, I think!' and she remains one of my fave characters. This fic humanizes her, and it's lovely to see how Bill swept her off her feet :) I loved his little foray in French! So cute!

A really beautiful one shot. Favoriting!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for dropping by to review! :) I'm slightly in awe of you, so to get this from you was just amazing :)

Gah, thank you so so much for that! I'm so happy you liked Fleur - she's one of those characters people always seem to write stereotypically, I think, because in the beginning she is fairly stereotypical: the pretty, clever girl who's haughty and stuck up and all... but I love showing her as a different kind of person, kinda more real. Gosh, the moments in this... I wrote at least 300 more words than the limit, haha, so it was really hard to cut it down, so I'm so glad you liked the ones eventually in it!

Thank you so so much for the review and the favourite - I honestly struggled so much with writing this response because I just didn't know what to say. At all. Thank you! :) :)

Aph xx


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Review #10, by nott theodore Clementine

10th July 2014:
Hi again, Laura!

Ah, this was such a lovely story! I really like Bill and Fleur together but I've never really read a lot of stories about them, but I love the fact that you wrote about the very beginning of their relationship. I like the way that it started so simply, it's a really refreshing change from the dramatic way most relationships seem to start in stories.

The portrayal of Fleur here was fantastic. I loved the fact that you showed how confident she normally is but she's got Bill on her mind and he's making her question herself, which is really cute - it's something so simple to show the attraction. And she's so impatient for him to notice her, it's really cute. I loved the fact that they were so nervous around each other when they're starting out, and the fact that he asked her out in French (well, just that you included French in this story at all) has made me smile so much! It's so cute and adorable and this story has just made me love Bill and Fleur even more!

Sian :)
Gryffindor House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey Sian! :) Thanks so much for stopping by - it was such a lovely surprise to get, and totally unexpected, so it really made my day! :)

I'm so glad that you liked it - it's honestly one of the biggest challenges I've ever given myself and I found it so hard to do, so it means so much to hear. I, er, actually don't like reading romance much so I don't really know how relationships tend to start in those kinds of stories, haha :P I'm glad you liked it, though! :)

Thank you so much! I really like Fleur as a character - I think there's so much to her that we don't see because of how little she's in the books, so I loved exploring her more in this, even if not that much! Ah, I'm so happy you liked the fluff and all, as I was so nervous about that. Fluff and me do not get on well at all :P I love French, so... yeah :P I couldn't not include it! :D

Thank you so much for the wonderful review, and congrats on doing so many (seriously, it's amazing! :D)!

Aph xx


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Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Clementine

9th July 2014:
Hey there!!

Oh my goodness, I can't tell you how wonderful this is!! I literally have the biggest smile on my face, it's so so cute!! I need to read more Bill/Fleur.

I love the confidence you have to Fleur. Well, I should say confidence that Fleur usually has. I equally loved how much she was doubting herself with bill... A mark of how much she likes him I guess. It was very well written though. Then, once she has grabbed his attention I like that he left her guessing a little while, again I think her impatience shows us how much she like him. Then, oh my goodness I absolutely adore the fact he asked her out in French. That's honestly really cute, I loved it. Again you show us how nervous she is around him, and also him around her... His voice shaking slightly.

All in all I thought this was so a cute missing moment story, I loved it!!

Lauren :)
House cup review 2014

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much - and yes, you should! They're such a lovely ship :D

I'm so glad you liked Fleur - I know she's not always a particularly well-liked character, so I liked being able to show her as being a bit more, well, normal, I guess :P She's always portrayed as very confident, so it was fun to kinda turn that on its head, at the same time as showing it :P And haha, I just had to include the French! It was almost mandatory, given it was Fleur :P

Thank you so much for the lovely review! It was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #12, by jessicalorewrites Clementine

9th July 2014:
Hi!

I'm utterly blown away by how well you accentuate the colours in this oneshot. It's short at only 500 words but your rich use of language means that I can quite literally picture the entire scene in my head. In fact, I really like how you went with Fleur wearing orange. Purely because many consider her stuck up and pretentious; an ice queen who only wears varying shades of white and blue. In this, the orange gives her much-needed warmth.

The French Bill speaks at the end is utterly ADORABLE! The fact he went to all that effort to learn it, just to ask her to dinner. Also, it suggests that he's been interested for a long time which is just cute, cute, cute.

I wish there were more because I adore your characterisation of these two :(

xo

{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hi there! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much! I can't honestly claim all of the credit for that, since the colour orange was given to me in the challenge. I did like it with Fleur, though, because as you say people mostly talk about her wearing blue and things, and orange seemed a nice counterpoint to it.

Haha, I couldn't resist putting it in - and it felt very natural for him to at least try and say it in French, given how he gives her English lessons (wink wink :P), so it seemed to be fair.

Ah, I'm sorry! I do really like them as a pairing, so maybe there'll be more in the future. Who knows? ;P

Thank you so much for the great review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #13, by TidalDragon Clementine

7th July 2014:
Howdy!

As I tackle this reviewing task, for some reason I've been drawn to stories involving Fleur. I find she's an often untapped or easily caricatured person in stories, so it's always refreshing to find something where that's not the case.

Here, I really enjoyed what you did with the length of the piece. One of the things I always notice when people try to keep themselves to 500 words or so is that they occasionally produce this delightful stories where elaborate plot is avoided, soaring language is less prevalent, and you just get a pure, organic story that feels like it could have come out of real life. I think that's what you achieved her and I found it really enjoyable.

You spent a lot of your words on characterization, which I think was crucial because it allowed this piece to have a definite "Fleur" vibe, while still staying within the constraint you were looking for. Even with those limitations, you did something interesting, portraying Fleur as actually struggling with confidence, behavior, and even speech around Bill, but in a way that didn't make her seem foolish. Her choice between dress colors and consideration of his hair color made her seem a bit more of the sophisticated person we know, while still exploring her nerves around him.

Overall, I thought the story was very well done!

House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks so much for stopping by - it means so much and it's so great to get! I'm constantly surprised! :)

I have to admit that I love Fleur as a character and wish I had more ideas for stories about her because she's such a cool, interesting character - and yeah, like you say, people often show her as one way or the other, which I don't really like, tbh.

Omigosh, I'm so glad you liked it - this was such a challenge for me, since I'm so bad at keeping things short and concise, so I really struggled with this. Thank you so much! :)

I really liked the idea of Fleur struggling with something she normally finds difficult when she finds that she likes someone - I think it's a very human and a very normal thing to happen, and I kinda wanted to bring her out of the 'haughty fairy princess' thing and to being a person, if that makes sense. Plus, it was a fairly easy way to tie in the colour to the emotion :P

Thank you so much for the review - it was so great! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story - and thank you again for all the lovely compliments! :)

Aph xx


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Review #14, by awesomepotter Clementine

7th June 2014:
Hey there! I'm here for our lovely review swap :)
I'm just going to start by congratulating you on writing in second person! You maintained it really well throughout the piece, and I think it really suits the situation because you used it so effectively. I'm terrible at second person, so big clap ;)
I really like Fleur's worries about the dress - her insecurities really show how nervous she is and also how strongly she feels for Bill all without actually stating it, especially when you talk about how confident she usually is and how easy a decision her wardrobe is most of the time. I love how she worries about the colour of the dress being the same colour as Bill's hair, only for Bill to give her an orange rose. I can't quite explain why, but I really liked that and found it quite endearingly sweet. It's funny how she seems to be confident and elegant in his presence, yet as soon as he isn't she starts overthinking things and allowing her mind to run away with itself, overthinking things.
It's really lovely how you've kept things bare, as well - leaving most of the details like places and people out of the piece so we can really focus on Fleur's thoughts and the interaction between the two main characters. Allowing us really see how Fleur is thinking during this piece definitely makes it a very interesting one-shot.
I'm afraid I will have to confess that I'm terrible at reviews, and especially the constructive criticism part. I'm usually so overawed at the standard of the writing that I simply can't think of any way in which it could be better (as I am with this one!) Congratulations on the wonderful work, I really did enjoy reading your piece. Sorry the review is so short, but like I said, I did really love it and I can;t think of any way in which I could have loved it more!

Thanks for such a lovely story,
awesomepotter xxx
10/10

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for the review and for the swap! It was so much fun to do! :)

Thanks! :) I actually really like writing in second person, and it just seemed to fit so well with this when I started writing, so I just went with it :P I'm glad you like it, though!

I'm so happy you liked Fleur - she's one of those characters people love to hate, I think, and I really loved writing her in this because Bill and Fleur are one of those couples I love. I wanted to show her as less perfect than people often show her to be, hence the dress confusion and all - plus it tied in rather neatly with the colour and emotion from the challenge, so I can't claim total credit for that ;) Haha, the orange rose - yeah, I couldn't resist! Also, again, it helped with the colour theme, so not all mine, in a sense! Omigosh, I'm so glad you liked it being so kinda stripped back, because I'm so bad at writing short things - I usually write really long things - so this was such a challenge for me.

Aww, no, no worries about any of it! This was such a lovely review to get, and such a great swap to do - so thank you again for both of them, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #15, by Lululuna Clementine

26th May 2014:
Hola! :)

This story is so adorable! Gah, I love BIll and Fleur so much and this was such a great little exploration into the beginning of their relationship. I thought Fleur was captured so well, with how you explained that she likes to be noticed, knows it's important to be noticed, but she's also thrown off her guard by Bill just like he is by her. It was so sweet how such a little thing, like what colour she's wearing, is so important for her and how she obsesses about the little details to catch his attention.

I actually loved the feelings of a nervous crush here and totally can relate, you wrote it so well and believably and Fleur felt so real here, I really felt nervous and excited along with her. The fact that she was worried about apricot because it matches his hair - that she's analyzed it to that extent - was great and only accentuated by the fact that he did notice, and brought her a flower in the same colour. Too sweet!

This was such an adorable story, and so well written as always. I loved it! :)

Author's Response: Hi Jenna! Thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Ah, thank you so much! I'm so nervous about fluff because it's really not my kind of thing, at all - reading or writing, really - so it was so hard to do. I really liked writing Fleur, so I'm glad you liked my interpretation of her! I liked linking it in to fashion and looks and things because it seemed a very Fleur thing to be worried about, haha.

I'm so glad you thought the emotions came through - I never know what is too much/too little, and particularly with fluff it was so hard to know what was too much. I really wanted it to be kinda relateable, and the theme of orange was such a great one to get in the challenge. Haha, the flower thing I couldn't resist doing that :P

Gah, thank you so so much for the review! It was so great to get! :)

Aph xx


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Review #16, by teh tarik Clementine

29th April 2014:
Hello Aph! I'm finally here with a review for the TGS swap. Sorry for being so late with this! I'm really glad we were paired up this month because I think it's been some time since I read any of your lovely writing.

And gah, this was such an absolutely gorgeous one-shot. You definitely made the most of the Colour & Emotion Challenge, and while reading, I had a very visual image of Fleur going through her wardobe of rustling silks and softly-coloured dresses, trying to select the perfect outfit. Your prose was so vividly painted with apricots and peach and all shades of orange; I think it's a wonderful colour to associate with Fleur - orange to bring out her lively personality, but the gentler shade of apricot also softens any Veela harshness or aloofness that she might have inherited. I hope I'm making sense here! I also love how you tied in the seasons and atmospheres and weather to her choice of dress. Selecting an outfit is far from simple for Fleur!

It's lovely to see Fleur written this way; before her usual confidence returns, there's that moment of uncertainty, a genuine earnestness when it comes to her feelings for Bill and just how much she's attracted to him. I feel that it's a rare moment of vulnerability for her, and she definitely knows this, and feels rather irritable (especially toward Bill!) about the uncertainty surrounding him. And I love that moment when her confidence snaps back on; the use of second person POV was great there - you shouldn't doubt yourself. Imagining Fleur chiding herself for that.

And gah, the way you've written Bill is wonderful as well. So romantic, offering her a rose the same colour as her dress; Fleur has calculated well - he definitely noticed her, and was definitely drawn to her choice of colour. I also love the fact that he asks her to dinner in her own language, and it's a lovely subtle moment, especially when you consider that she's in England to learn English.

Anyway, this was a beautiful one-shot, Aph! It's so carefully written, and there's a delicateness to your prose, and of course, the fluffy ending! ♥ Bill/Fleur does not get written enough, and I think you've done an amazing job writing them. ♥

-teh

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Review #17, by True Author Clementine

13th April 2014:
Aww, this was so sweet! I'm full of Bill/Fleur feels right now. :D

So when you mentioned that you have written a Bill/Fleur one-shot recently, I couldn't resist reading this one. :P But I'm so glad I did! Your writing style is amazing and you did a wonderful job in such a short word count!

I asume you were given the color apricot orange in the challenge? If so, the story got along with it very well. I wasn't sure if the color would look too good on Fleur, but I loved the thing that she was doing it for Bill. I just love them together! Even in the books, I felt they were meant to be together. :)

Aww, he asked her in French! :S That was certainly my favorite. So adorable! And the rose! :D

Really great job! Thanks for the review swap!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini, thanks so much for stopping by! :) I'm so happy to hear that!

It's the first Bill/Fleur thing I've ever written - bit of a surprise given the soft spot I have for them! Ah, I'm so glad you thought the word count was alright - it was honestly the hardest thing I've ever done for writing. Had to cut so much out... :P

Yeah, it was light orange - not quite that specific - but once I'd started the food colours, I couldn't really stop, and it fitted well enough! I don't really know how well it would look on her either, haha, it was just the colour, so I sort of went with it anyway.

I'm so happy you liked the ending - it's probably one of the fluffiest things I've ever written, and I wondered if it was too much...

Thank you so much for both the swap and the great review! It was so much fun swapping with you! :)

Aph xx


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Review #18, by BookDinosaur Clementine

12th April 2014:
APH! LAURA! AH *flails*

Oh my god. The feels. I am such a sucker for a well-written Bill/Fleur because they're not actually that common in the archives. I can't, I just can't. I saw this and wanted to read it, and I never expected the feels. I think you've just sucker-punched me Laura. (Oh yeah, review swap!)

I think - this was just adorable. I can't say anything else! I loved the second-person POV you chose to narrate story with, somehow it made Fleur so relatable and I actually didn't really notice it, because the flow was that smooth.

I love how insecure you've made her. It's so nice to see that normally she's confident in these kinds of matters, but with Bill it's so lovely to see how nervous she gets. I really like how unfamiliar it is for her to feel insecure, it really ties in well with her character in the books. her nervousness is kind of showing that she really does care, she cares so much that she starts to doubt herself, and once I've put it down like that it sounds not nice at all but somehow you made it so sweet, I swear my heart melted. It's so touching to see how much his opinion matters to her.

And aww, Bill! Just the fact that he put so much effort in to get that orange rose to match her dress and learn to ask her out in French was so adorable, showing that he really cares as well and just d'aww. I wonder how he learnt the phrase? I can just imagine him practicing it to try and get it right. :)

I think you incorporated the colour and the emotion into this story really well, I wouldn't have noticed if I hadn't known from before that you'd entered the challenge. Also, this is only 500 words but it seems like more and less at the same time and you did a great job fitting all the emotions and flow into 500 words alone. Every word and phrase had a purpose.

Overall, Aph, this was amazing and I'm really, really glad I had the chance to read it. This will definitely be taking a place on my favourites list, and thank you so much for the review swap, I enjoyed it loads! ♥

Author's Response: EMILY! AH! *flails back* :)

Haha, me too - I love them so much as a pairing, and yet they're never written! Strangely enough, I'm pretty sure there's been a whole bunch of one-shots about them recently... weird...

Thank you! :) I've kinda missed writing second person, you know? It's been so long since I last did it, so it was a bit odd coming back to it - I'm glad you thought it fitted, though!

I'm so happy you liked Fleur, too! I always feel she's often given a bit of a short stick in fanfiction - people viewing her as haughty and all - so I wanted to show a different side to her, and it helped that the emotion for the challenge was 'desire', I think. I'm glad you liked the nervousness and her caring about his opinion - I was a little nervous about overdoing it!

Haha, yeah, in front of his mirror! :P I really, really wanted to tie the colour in and the idea was just too cute, haha! I've always thought he'd be kinda romantic and smooth - or, at least, he'd certainly think he was, lol!

Ah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you thought it worked with the limited word count and the colour and all - gosh, the 500 words was so hard! I had to cut about 100 out in editing, lol. Took forever...

Gah, thank you so much again, Emily! I'm so so happy you liked this so much - it's so completely different for me, and not anything like what I normally write, so it means so much you liked it!

Thank you so so much for the wonderful review (and the favourite! Wow! :hug:)!

Aph xx


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Review #19, by AlexFan Clementine

10th April 2014:
Oh my goodness, I love this so much because it's so cute and sweet. I love how you made Fleur insecure and unsure about what she was doing around Bill. I love how you showed in so few words how a confident woman like Fleur turned into a girl who began to doubt every choice that she made when she was around Bill because she was just so nervous.

It got even better at the end when Bill shows up at her job and asks her out in French. Just the fact that he went through so much effort to ask her to dinner in a way that might impress her was wonderful. It was just the effort that he put in just for Fleur.

This brightened my day, well done on it!

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

I'm so happy you like Fleur - I wanted to show a different side to her, that she really likes him and all, you know, since I think that's often glossed over. So yeah, she was very nervous and unsure, which I think is something which is pretty common.

Haha, yeah, I wanted to have the actual asking her out moment, because I wanted to kind of tie it together, and end it on a light note - something I don't do often, lol! And yeah, Bill is lovely - I'm so glad you like being all thoughtful and romantic! :)

This was something I was really unsure about and really out of my comfort zone, so I'm so glad you liked it!

Thank you for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #20, by keyty Clementine

6th April 2014:
Hi! Here with your requested review!

I love this so much! I have a weakness for second person point of view. You have accomplished this so well, both with the conciseness of it and the difficult perspective. I absolutely adore this. It's so short, yet it conveys so many emotions. We know Fleur to be confident, and here you show us how staggering it is for her to be indecisive. You show us what it's like for someone part veela to be unsure of herself. It's so sweet and insightful. I honestly have no CC for you! I love the orange theme, and the fact that you were able to add so much description in such few words is, honestly, intimidating! Amazing job! So much gushing!

Okay I think that's enough of me freaking out over how great this is. Maybe one last time... brilliant!

Author's Response: Hey there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Gah, thank you so much! I'm so glad you like this - it was something completely different from anything I normally write, and a real challenge for me, particularly the word count limit!

I love writing in second person, but it had been a while, so I was a bit nervous - it's so lovely to hear that you liked it and thought it worked! Fleur is a character I've always wanted to explore more, so it's so nice to hear you liked her - particularly her indecisiveness, and how strange it felt for her. I really wanted to show a different side to her, so I'm glad it worked and you liked it! I'm so happy you thought it flowed well and there was enough description in it - the word count was virtually impossible for me, haha, and I was so worried it was too bare! I can't claim credit for the orange theme, though - that was part of the challenge! :)

Thank you so so much for this review - it really was absolutely lovely to get! :) :) Thanks!

Aph xx


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Review #21, by academica Clementine

6th April 2014:
Hey, here with your requested review!

Great one-shot! I do think it works even with the brevity. You explored Fleur's thoughts without getting too complex in analyzing them and while still being able to provide a light ending.

I really like how you illuminated all the changes Fleur had to make in her courtship with Bill. We know about the overt changes--learning a new language, getting a job--but you delve into the more subtle changes on the inside, the shift from being the object of desire to the one who desires. Seeing her struggle with a seemingly simple choice humanizes her. It's touching to see how much Bill's opinion truly matters to her. She's a far cry from the Beauxbatons starlet.

I also like the double meaning of learning the language of interacting with Bill and her literal learning of a new language when she came to England.

The description works well, even though it's simple. I liked how you described Fleur's uncertainty when actually faced with Bill. There was a palpable tension throughout that was enticing but not overwhelming.

Overall, this was really nice! Thanks for requesting, and I hope this review is helpful.

-Amanda

Author's Response: Hi Amanda! :) I'm always so excited to get reviews from you! :)

Thank you so much! I was so nervous about the 500 word limit because I know I'm so bad at writing things which are short and concise, so it was sort of a test to see if I could do it, so I'm so glad you thought it turned out alright! :)

I'm so glad you liked it - so many fics I've read deal with Fleur being the one who is liked, and I wanted to kinda change it around. I mean, she's obviously eyeing him up in GoF - who's to say she didn't fancy him first? So yeah, it was fun to explore the idea of her being unsure when it's not like her and how she deals with that. It's not really a change I'd done before, so it was interesting!

Thank you! :) It's one of the things I thought up randomly and only afterwards sort of realised the connection-type thing :P

Thank you so so much for the lovely review - it was so nice to get, and especially from you! :)

Aph xx


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Review #22, by randomwriter Clementine

5th April 2014:
Hello Aph! :) I'm here for our review swap. Sorry it took so long! And thank you so much for your lovely review!

I saw that you'd entered this for the colour and emotion challenge. Having entered the challenge myself, I was sort of curious to see how you've written this. Also, I'm always attracted towards entries for the Every Word Counts challenge. It's incredible as to what people can do in just 500 words!

I'm glad I got a chance to read this. I adore Bill/Fleur, though I must admit that I haven't read many stories about them. Whatever I have read focuses on them as an already married couple, so this was rather refreshing :) I also loved the role reversal. How you made her the slightly insecure one.

Speaking of that, your characterisation was interesting. As I mentioned, you wrote a very different kind of Fleur from the one we usually see. You exposed us to her mind's doubts about things that seem to be child's play for her. She could probably have any man on this planet, but when it really mattered, when it came to someone she really loved, even she, despite her beauty, has her own concerns and questions. As for Bill, I love how you didn't make him follow her like a lost puppy. He was so cute, and I can just picture him standing in front of a mirror and saying those words over and over again. The ending was so cute and his confidence was a lovely contrast to her doubtful nature here. I think you did a great job.

As for how you used for 500 words, I cannot tell you how much I envy you :p Not only did you manage to get it done, you also wrote so well! I love how this flowed and how everything just seemed to have a purpose. Every word, phrase and sentence seemed to fit, like they were put there with care. Great job. Someday, I hope to be able to complete this challenge, and hopefully I'll be able to manage it. This was certainly inspiring :)

Another thing I loved was the imagery. The way you described the colours and her emotions were lovely! As for the dresses, the way you put it was so vivid that I could imagine the exact shades. Atleast, I hope :p Going by this (as I haven't seen what you got on the challenge), I'd say that your colour is a lighter shade of orange, and you emotion must be love, pr perhaps something like longing or temptation? If it is, this is splendidly done. You've used the colour to display the emotion very well without making strong obvious connections. I quite enjoyed the subtlety of it :)

Overall, I found this rather cute and enjoyable and it has certainly left me feeling warm and happy! :) It was such a cute story and the ending finished it off nicely. I look forward to reading some of your other work. Good job, and good luck on the challenge! :)


Adi

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Review #23, by Veritaserum27 Clementine

5th April 2014:
Hi!

Here for BvB review battle.

This was a really sweet take on Bill and Fleur. Most of the things I've read about them are set when they are already married and having kids or their kids are grown up. I haven't read much about how their love story started. It is so simple and beautifully written.

I love the fact that she is insecure (for the first time) and he is the confident one. It is such a nice twist. Book six implies that she is out of his league, but she doesn't care about that and still loves him anyway. Your take on the story helps to explain why and makes them more equals in their relationship.

Your writing, as always flows so nicely. Your words are chosen so carefully that it isn't obvious that this was only a 500 word story.

Nice job!

Beth

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks for stopping by! :)

Thank you! I'm so glad you liked them - and yeah, people tend to write them when they're older, involving their kids and things, like in Next Gen.

Thanks! :) It was a bit of a strange choice for me, but it made so much sense in my head that I had to write it - it is a twist, so I'm so glad you liked it! I think in a way she's out of his league, if you just considered beauty, but then she's pretty much out of everyone's league, haha :P It is more of an equalising thing, yeah, though I didn't really think of that when I was writing it.

Gah, it was so hard writing it and in so few words! I had to cut out about thirty or so words to make it fit, because I wrote it too long... and that was after I cut things down before, haha. Thank you, though - I'm so glad you liked it and it means so much! :)

Thank you for the lovely review! :)

Aph xx


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Review #24, by marauderfan Clementine

3rd April 2014:
For our review swap!

I recently tried the Every Word Counts challenge as well, and I love seeing what people can do with only 500 words to work with. You conveyed a lot in such a short story, I could really connect with Fleur's insecurity and nervousness. I liked the way you pointed out the colours as something she focuses on, like the one thing she can control. I really liked your descriptions of her indecision about colours.

Aw, I loved the way you wrote Bill! I imagine that during the day when Fleur didn't see him, he was nervously practising his French :p but I love the way he asked her out, it was so cute!!

This was such a cute one-shot, really well done with the characterisation in a short amount of words, showing another side of Fleur, and great descriptions. Thanks for the swap!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for stopping by! :)

I love it too - I'm always so amazed by how well people do, particularly since I'm terrible at keeping things short :P I'm so glad you liked Fleur - she was an interesting character to explore. I've written her once before, and I love showing different sides to her. The colours aren't something I can wholly claim credit for, since it was for the Colour and Emotion challenge colours had to be a part of it, but I'm so glad you liked how I used them! :)

Haha, yeah, probably! ;) I wanted to keep him as being confident in himself and sort of strong enough not to get caught in Fleur's web as it were, but speaking in another language is always nerve-wracking.

Aww, thank you so much for the review - I'm so happy you liked it! And thank you so much for the swap, too - it was really great! I really enjoyed it! :)

Aph xx


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Review #25, by LightLeviosa5443 Clementine

2nd April 2014:
Hi! Here for the BvB review battle!

This story is so wonderful! I really loved the way you made it all about knowing what works, but doubting yourself when you want it most. I really loved that you used Fleur for this. I thought it was so cute, and the way that you have Bill elude her all day, making her doubt herself. Then he so confidently just asked her out in French.

AND SHE WAS SPEECHLESS.

I literally just repeated your story to you in less words and I don't even care because the story was just so darn cute!

I've got all these cute, warm and fuzzy feels now!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Hi there - thanks so much for stopping by! :)

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked this - it's really not the normal sort of thing I write, at all, so I was pretty nervous about writing it and then putting it up.

I wanted to make it non-conventional, because I love writing non-conventional things haha, and when I got light orange for the challenge, Bill/Fleur just popped into my head, so I chose them.

Haha, no worries - and yeah, you summed it up pretty well! :)

Aww, thank you so much - I'm honestly so glad you liked it and thought it worked. Thank you!

Aph xx


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