Reading Reviews for Love At St. Mungo's
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by jessicalorewrites Chapter Two

10th May 2014:
Hey, I'm here because you requested a review on my topic! So I actually thought I'd already reviewed this off my own back a few weeks ago, so I was really confused when I saw you'd requested it. Then I came and checked and realised I actually hadn't sent it - oops! Anyway, first off I'm going to answer each of your areas of concern like before and then add in my own little thoughts about different things that I like :)

1. Does Cassie seem real?
Like I said in my last review, Cassie was very believable and she continues to be in this chapter as well. You add little details about her which just help with the realism of her character. Things like the fact she used to have one night stands - a lot of fics paint an angelic picture of teen mothers, so it's refreshing to see someone a little more original. I can also sooo relate to Cassie burning her mouth on her drink - I do that all the time! It's why I hate hot drinks (similar to James, ay).

2. Does James seem like a good guy? Was it perfect timing for their coffee meeting?
Yes, James definitely seems like he's going to shape up to be an amazing character - I can't wait to find out more about your characterisation of him! The coffee break was timed perfectly to work well but I also like the fact it didn't go so well because of Ryan, as that means more coffee (or drinks) dates in the future ;)

3. What is your opinion of Ryan?
I don't like him. I would think it hard for anybody to like him. The fact he has the audacity to accuse, in so many words, Cassie of being a bad mother when he hasn't been there for Gabrille really irks me. He's a very well written character who serves well as an original take on the 'antagonist' figure!

4. Do the relationships between Ryan/Cassie and James/Cassie seem real?
Yes! I love the way Cassie interacts with them both, showing two different sides to her personality. With Ryan she gets irked very easily and yet she seems to have more patience for James, which is great because they seem very cute together.

5. Is the flow/pace good?
Indeed it is. There's not much really to say here because you've pretty much nailed this one on the head.

I can't wait for you to update the next chapter! I'll try to remember to review this time, oops.

Thank you!

- Jess xo

Author's Response: Hey!

Haha, oh dear. I think we've all done that before :)

I was kind of worried about that snippet of information because whilst I didn't want to show Cassie in that sort of light, but I wanted to show how much her life changed when she did fall pregnant. Like you said, not all teen mothers are angelic. Ha I love that you relate to that :)

I love writing James, because he's a bit fun, a bit cocky as well as the softer side to him. Oh yes, more dates to come.

Whilst even I dislike Ryan, that was partly because I wanted to show how he's not a decent guy, compared to James. And to show how much Cassie had grown up whilst Ryan stayed with his childish ways.

Cassie definitely acts different with the two boys, but then doesn't everyone act certain ways around one person and then another way around someone else. I think it would only take Ryan to breath to irk anyone, he's just got that personality. As for James he's laid back just like Cassie is in a way so they get on really well.

Thank you so much, hun!

-Potterfan310
Soph xxx


 Report Review

Review #2, by HazelMidnight172 Chapter Two

10th May 2014:
I do not like Ryan! Gabby and Cassie would be better off without him! James seems like a sweet guy though - I wonder how he'll react to hearing about the kid? Keep writing! :)

Author's Response: Hi

Ryan's not the best is he? Cassie is certainly better off without him. James is sweet and I hope you'll be able to see it in the next two/three chapters.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, it means a lot!!

-Potterfan310


 Report Review

Review #3, by Mrs.catwoman Chapter One

7th May 2014:
Ooo! An actual original story line- and for next generation! I'm excitied!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love next gen and whilst this isn't going to be huge, just 5 or 6 chapters I'm excited too!

Thanks for R+R'ing!

-Potterfan310


 Report Review

Review #4, by Florence Chapter Two

7th May 2014:
love love love it! update soon please!

Author's Response: Thank you for R+R'ing. Updates may be a while, I'm super busy in RL and I'm a bit stuck with the next chapter.

-Potterfan310


 Report Review

Review #5, by jessicalorewrites Chapter One

27th April 2014:
Hey! I love this story, it's sounding like it's going to shape up to be very original. First off can I just point out ScoRose? SO CUTE! That's a nice addition and ties in nicely how Cassie comes to meet Molly again. I really like the spin you put on her job because it's not often that a) stories are set in St Mungo's and b) have someone with a less than appealing job. And not only that, but she's not the typical boring receptionist - there seems to be a lot of different, interesting sides to her current job. One problem I'd like to point out is that near the start you have Jessie ask "ETA?". Using my A* deduction skills I'm presuming you meant EAT (Estimated Arrival Time)? Though you might want to change that to E.A.T thinking about it, aha. Also, would St Mungo's really hire a six month pregnant girl knowing she'd have to go on maternity leave soon? Nevertheless, I think Cass is a very believable character and her reasoning for not talking to Molly for so long is very sound. I'm interested to see how the Cass/Ryan relationship expands and also to see whether he steps up and becomes a good dad to Gabriella (who is the cutest child ever, okay)! The flow is pretty good in general although I would recommend trying to write a few longer paragraphs in between dialogues etc to break it up a little. You could do this by describing things a little more - the flat, for example, or St Mungo's. I wouldn't say that the introduction to James is too soon because he was only in the chapter for a short amount of time. It was good of you to not make them go out for coffee yet because then I might feel like it was a little rushed. I'm looking forward to reading Chapter 2, which I am going to do sooon!

- Jess xo

Author's Response: Hi!

I could hardly leave them out, I mean OPT! Plus it was a good way for Molly to hear that Cassie was around.

I think that was one of the things I loved about the challenege in which I wrote this for, that the majority of the story had to be set there. It's probably an unloved job to read about in fics which is why I wanted her to do it. Plus it's a bit fancy with differnet jobs like you said.

ETA - Estimated Time of Arrival. I think it could just be a thing I where I'm from but you can do it both ways. Thank you for pointing it out though!

I think you're right in having the doubt, in my weird little world they were desperate for a new receptionist and well Cassie was ideal as she was willing to learn on the job as well as being close to Healers/medical items. I like to think that St. Mungo's may have a childcare area for those who there with small children, an addition after the war like the maternity wards. So whilst Cassie was desperate for a job and St. Mungo's looking to hire they did, Cassie was off in the last month of her pregnancy and then for five months after that. She would often take Gabriella with her sometimes whilst she was behind the desk as it was easier and cheaper than the childcare. Plus Mo would always be up for covering Cassie's shifts if needs be.

Her relationship with Ryan plays a big part in the whole not speaking to friends. And their relationship itself is interesting! As for Ryan being a good dad and stepping up, only time will tell. Gabriella is certainly cute!! I love writing her :)

Thank you! I shall definitely being going over this and doing more descriptions. Sometimes I tend to think that I over do them and then others I don't do enough!

Cass off putting her coffee with him was always going to happen but I'm glad his introduction seems okay.

Thank you *hugs*

-Potterfan310
Soph xx



 Report Review

Review #6, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Chapter One

15th March 2014:
For Blackout Bingo.

Hello!

So... Sorry, I'm still staring at the healer. :P Anyway, this was such a great start, I loved getting to know Cassie's character. She was obviously sucked into this other life with Ryan, but she turned it around for her kid and I like that. Right away, I can see that she's a good mum. I hope her friendship with Molly can get better again, it was fun to see them catching up and it would be awesome to see it last now that there isn't a guy getting in their way (or a guy who might help the situation by being in the way... ;)). I also hope she can do her training one day.

Ah, James Potter. Hello, James. I bet Cassie still crushes on you, James, so be nice to her and the kid. :D

No, he left! I wanna know what he wanted to say! Is he just going to give up or will he come back? OH, will he come back when he sees the competition? ;)

I bet James would be a good dad... Did I say that out loud? :P

I really enjoyed this!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hey Sam!

Whoop for blackout battle/bingo. Go Gryffie's and Snake's :D

Stare all you like, lol :p

She was suckered into it but for Gabriella she managed to turn it all around. I'm glad you think she's a good mum, everyone but Cassie thinks it so she needs all the love she can get.

Molly and Cassie have a lot of history together so a catch up was most definitely needed. Hopefully their friendship can be better again and for it to last.

Cassie hopes she can too!

James Potter, the great man himself. Hehe, Cassie still crushing on James, who'd have thought such a thing :p James is nice don't you worry.

James Potter giving up? Never. He's more than likely to turn up again, there may be a bit of rivalry between him and Ryan what with them being old dorm mates as well.

You did! And I agree, he would make a great dad.

Thanks for reviewing :D
-Potterfan310



 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login