Reading Reviews for I'm Not Him
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by True Author The Pub

23rd March 2014:
Wow, this was really great! I liked that you're going a bit fast as going slow gets boring as the chapters move on in case of stories like this one. Fred is likely to do everything fast and with great impatience, so this fit well with that fact.

The best part has to be the descriptions, Maelody. They were wonderful! I mean it. Especially the last part about him trying to fight that unpleasant memory back. It was so sad! :( I hope Fred and Emma end up together if she's still around. Gosh I want to know more!

Can't wait for chapter three!

Ashwini

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Review #2, by Rumpelstiltskin The Beginning

21st March 2014:
Aw, looks like Fred needs some time away from his family. That's understandable, especially considering he comes from a very large family. The Mediterranean islands are a fantastic place to visit, now I want to go too!

Naturally, thinking back on fond memories would make him in the very least think about his decisions. It sounds as though he's in his late teenage years, where it's perfectly natural to freak out and overreact and want out... want a break from everything.

The scene with Roxxanne was very sweet!

I'm very curious to see where Fred's little adventure will take him!

Fantastic job!

-Rumpel

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Review #3, by Ashley Lovegood The Pub

21st March 2014:
love it! great job guys!

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Review #4, by True Author The Beginning

13th March 2014:
Hi there! :D I have never read a collab before so this was really new to me, but I really liked it so far. Great job! :)

You have a really great plot here! Usually Fred II is mostly like The original Fred and he's usually proud of it, so this idea is totally new and original. Kudos for that!

Your characterisation was very well done here. Now it will be interesting to see what kind of journey awaits for him and how it will be written by two authors! It might be hard to keep the characterisation and the general writing style same, so good luck to you for that! :D I really hope you mark this "completed" soon and keep working together!

Ashwini

Author's Response: Hi Ashwini!! I'm glad!

Thank you! We thought maybe this idea would make it more interesting, and I'm totally relieved it did!

Thank you! Oh yes, the journey! Hpefully it will be worth it! And for the completed stage- we don't really know! It is turning out to look like its going to be a little while! But we don't mind! As for further projects, we'll see!

Thank you for the review! I will do yours later tonight!

-Curie :)


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Review #5, by Lady of Tears The Beginning

12th March 2014:
I've never read a collaboration story before, so this is a new experience. I'm excited to see how two different writers create one story!

I really enjoyed reading this and thought you did a fantastic job at grabbing my attention. By the end of the chapter I wanted to know what was going to happen next. I thought you had strong characters and good dialogue. I think getting inside of Fred's mind at the beginning was my favorite part. So heartbreaking!

A few things that stood out to me:

It doesn't matter much since all it becomes clear in the next few paragraphs, but I thought we were talking about Fred Weasley I for awhile. Which made me confused because Molly wouldn't have so many vases! But it's not a big deal at all. But it doesn't lend to something I wanted to see more of: character description. Fred is bi-racial, correct? There is so much room to imagine what he looks like, what he got from George and what he got from Angelina. I wanted more description of what Fred and Rox looked like.

But overall, this was fantastic. I really enjoyed reading it. Can't wait to see more!

-Lady of Tears

Author's Response: Hi there!

Well, same here for us! Its completely new and so so exciting, so I hope you (and the other readers) like it just as much as us!

Thank you! I'm glad! I love writing dialogue and I'm so so relieved that it turned out fine! The bit with Rox was super hard to write, so I'm very pleased that you liked it!

Hahaha, well, I'm glad it was eventually made clear! And you're right! the description could be added in here! But, this was meant to be a beginning "set the scene" type of chapter, so you can expect more of that in the next one!

Thank you so so much! We must do more swaps! :D

-Ree and Mae


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Review #6, by Infinityx The Beginning

12th March 2014:
Hey, you two! So I decided to come and check this out when I saw Curie's status on the forums, and I'm sure glad I did! Great work on the first chapter Reebs!

This chapter was just so vague and intriguing and IT'S KILLING ME! Seriously. SO MANY QUESTIONS. I think this is the first time I'm this eager to read a Next Gen fic. I usually steer as far away from them as possible. But your concept behind this, the relation to Fred(I), the story title..I'm hooked!

Fred(II) seems to be really torn up. I can't imagine what must have happened for him to get into such a huge fight with his dad that he feels the need to leave. I feel really sad for him. It had been a while since his father had looked at him with pride Oh, poor thing! :(

I love the way you've characterized Rox here! She seems like such an amazing sister! I can't wait to see how her character will progress as well!

Your descriptions portray Fred's frustration really well in this chapter. Good job! The only CC I have here is that there's a small inconsistency with the tense in this chapter. I suggest you read through the part where Fred remembers his morning with Rox. You've shifted from past perfect to simple past. You need to add "had" before the past participles there. Also, in the beginning he starts packing his stuff into his trunk, but later it says that he zipped up his suitcase. That was a bit unclear to me. Was he going to take both a trunk and a suitcase?

Apart from those things, this was a solid chapter. I love the way this story has begun and you have no clue how excited I am to read on! I'm so curious. Your description of his parents' state indicates that something terrible happened. His motherís expression hadn't changed much. What did he mean by that? How was her expression? Gah. I NEED TO KNOW.

And it's as though everything's happening at once - the situation with his parents, his girlfriend breaking up with him. Oh, poor Fred! :(

I'd like to get a bit more background on him. Small things like how old he is and what he does. I'm sure they'll be explained in the coming chapters and I can't wait to find out what's going on!

I hope this wasn't too harsh! Let me know once you update! Good luck, both of you!

~Erin

Author's Response: Hi Erin!

Aw, thanks hun! :)

I'm glad! Mae actually came up with the title so kudos to her! And we've made you try next gen! squee! and we're absolutely totally glad you liked it!

Haha, well I'm glad its intriguing ;) I'm so excited for this and just everything about this that I'm trying so so hard not to spill all our plot twists and everything! i'm glad that line evoked sympathy- i can assure you, that is one of my biggest insecurities :P

I'm glad! Rox is a huge part of Fred's life and we really worked hard to characterise her- working right down to her nickname :P

Thank you! Eurgh, grammar and me do not mix, so thank you so so much for pointing that out! And the suitcase thing :/ Whoops! Totally my fault- only a trunk :)

I'm glad! That was what we really wanted of the first chapter- to be really intriguing and open ended, but still describe the present actions well? So I'm glad it worked! Hahaha, we'll have to swap sometime for the second chapter? :)

Yeah- its really just like a huge tsunami (excuse the bad simile) They definitely will be! And you should totally be excited for Mae's chapter because she does that so so well!

Please! You showered both of us with compliments! Thank you! You're way too sweet! And this review, it could never be harsh- only way way way too lovely (not that we're complaining ;P)

And the next update should be up soon! We're putting it in the queue tomorrow!

-Curie and Mae :)


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Review #7, by long_live_luna_bellatrix The Beginning

11th March 2014:
Hi there,

This is an interesting start to a story. I like how things began with a bang, but you're keeping the suspense alive by not sharing all of Fred's thoughts with us. I'm curious to know why he's so mad. Also, as someone who likes travel, I'm naturally enticed by his open schedule. Egypt and Greece are great, but the whole world is open to him, and that's exciting.

One thing that really caught me off guard was the mention of Muggle condoms. In general, I think that's actually an interesting discussion-- contraception in the Muggle world versus the wizarding one. And I understand why Fred might have packed them. However, as there was no context for the mention of it, no explanation, and nothing else in the chapter related to it, it mostly just stood out as odd to me. I think it would be better to mention that, and talk about it in more detail, when it becomes relevant. For now, talking about condoms is just unnecessary.

Also, one little thing: you talk about him packing a trunk, then later describe him zipping a suitcase. Possibly you mixed up your luggage types?

Other than that, it was a good start. I think Roxanne is cute, and a great sister. I'd be interested to see why Fred is so furious with his father, and how it's connected to Fred I. Kudos to you as well, for writing a collab!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much! We're really glad that you like it! Yes, that was the intention of having the chapter not really all that clear and kind of confusing? But we're glad it worked! Haha, we love to travel too! Hence the travel fic ;) I'm god you liked it!

Yeah, I do get what you mean :) It was meant to be random, but also have an underlying message, so we will definitely go back and edit the chapter to make the message clearer :)

Ooh god! Thats just me :P Well, I will definitely edit that too! Ty for pointing it out! :D

Thank you~ Rox is a definite favourite for both of us! Haha, well, you'll have to see ;) Thank you! We are super excited and definitely glad that you liked it! :D

-Mae and Ree :)


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