Reading Reviews for Albus Potter, King
  
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Review #1, by TidalDragon Much Ado About Nothing

13th March 2014:
Howdy!

I thought the chapter largely lived up to its name in terms of plot, but then I guess that was the whole point right? I think you did a good job using that lack of substantive plot to develop Albus's character though. He seems like he is definitely a unique one, obviously with loads of sarcasm and a seemingly-inflated sense of self-worth and entitlement, but I guess we'll get to know him better later.

I did think there were some moments where you could have done a little more showing of what Albus is talking about rather than having him give us conclusory statements. A good example would be the sarcasm about family get-togethers. Why not take us inside a story of one of those get-togethers, even if only briefly, to show how Albus is separate from the family in his opinion about them.

The other thing that stood out was Albus calling his mother "Ginny Weasley". Seems to me if he was going to use her name she'd still be "Ginny Potter" to him (unless Harry and Ginny are going to be divorced or something in this fic, in which case you might go ahead and address that explicitly here).

Thanks for posting!

Author's Response: Hullo!

Thank you so much for reviewing!

I see what you mean... I should probably go back and edit a short story into that-- I wasn't being careful enough when I wrote this. This also goes for my comment about Ginny, because I really didn't even realize I'd labelled her a Weasley. :0 Force of habit, I suppose. Thanks a million for catching that!

Thanks for reading!

~M


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