Reading Reviews for Lethargic
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by potterfan310 But It Shouldn't Matter

28th July 2014:
Heyyy,

I am so glad to see a new chapter!! :D

It's probably just me but the opening confused me a little in the way of who was speaking, followed by an action. I didn't get who said what or who rolled their eyes at what. If that even makes sense? Ignore me otherwise.

HA! oh the little kid being Harry Porter, just too funny :p

" Why do you always assume itís me that starts it?" Aiden raised a questioning eyebrow at his brother before turning to me." - I think this kind of helps me with my trouble in the opening. Since it's Cayden whose speaking, the bit about Aiden needs to be on a separate line, or before he actually speak in the next sentence. Either way it flows better/makes more sense.

Urgh Edmund sounds like a complete and utter prat. Ha! I can't believe Edmund thought James and Carrie were an item


James definitely adds to my curiosity (especially considering, he and Carrie get together at some point). He could have at least stood up for Carrie, but I'm glad Brett did! I LOVE that James is head boy and following in the foot steps of grandfather/namesake

"Oh who would the great blood trader" - I think you meant blood traitor, lol :p

I absolutely love Carrie and her character/personality. Especially her fangirl line about shipping the two :)

I honestly prefer Brett right now, compared to James (but I do have a love of him in general), I kind of sense he's a tad jealous that Carrie was with James. I think it's partly because one he is hot and two he relates to Carrie a lot more than James right now what with them both being from Pureblood families. I get the feeling that Carrie is on the list Brett's parents made of suitors for him and that maybe Brett is on the list her parents have made, maybe?

Totally in agreement with Carrie, sitting down and doing nothing productive is one of my worst flaws, especially when it came to doing work :p

Brett is my favourite apart from Carrie, mainly because I feel he's got sooo many layers like an onion (Sort of Shrek reference there :P). His whole character is growing and developing as shown when the two are in the secret room, because their talking/getting along instead of just doing the dirty.

In response to your response on my last review (confusing much?) the whole elective thing was me being partly blonde, that and being British. Me, personally I would have called it an option because that's the term I/we use where I'm from. As for the whole couch thing, I think it just bugs me slightly reading it in fics which are obviously set in the UK, but I do hear it a lot on the American shows I watch.

Looking forward to the next one!!

-Potterfan310
Soph x

Author's Response: I'm so happy that you can get past all of my grammar mistakes haha. I'm also happy/surprised that you like Brett. I wasn't expecting him to be so well received with it being a James Potter story. I'll remember the option thing, I tried to find out the equivalent, but I couldn't find it. I will forever being eternally grateful for you catching me on my slang mistakes. I feel like they definitely need to be pointed out or it could kill them mood or the flow of the story.

If you think Brett has layers in a few chapters you'll come to see James has a lot more than him.

Thank you for reviewing and reading! (I'm actually submitting the chapter tonight!) Until next time!


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Review #2, by newgenerationlover But It Shouldn't Matter

28th July 2014:
Ep! Ok, so I just wanted to start off saying how much I love this story!! So it looks like I read the first chapter when it was first published and for some reason, I haven't noticed it getting updated but I am so happy that I got to binge read because I honestly didn't want it to end. This story is really unique and all of your characters are very well rounded and dynamic. You are an amazing writer!! Ok, now to the questions in your AN! I love the jokes! They make the story all the better read. Add more in! Love love love love Carrie! She is so different from anything I have really read. She has a great mixture of good and bad qualities to make her very believable and likable. I love her laziness and I love her mask that she puts on to ignore/hide all her problems. I love her relationship with Brett because it makes everything all the more complicated and really adds to her character as a whole. Ugh! That's a tough one but I think I have to go with Bret. Although I am liking James too because, though he does have his cliches like his hotness and his quiditch skills, he is also studious and a perfect (which he isn't often). He seems to be trying hard to keep all this going for him unlike the usual effortlessness that his character seems to have which is probably my favorite part about him. However, he is slightly annoying at the moment (which is good! we see him as Carrie sees him not as this amazing mary sue character that the MC just has some beef with). Bret is so complicated in his own way and I think it was this chapter that made the difference in the question for me to pick him. Him standing up for her and their conversation without the sex in the secret room just shows us his character has a lot more depth than we thought he had. I just have to say Carrie is my favorite character just because she is so amazing. I want more Brett!! That is all ;P Please please please with a cherry on top update fast! This may be my new favorite story on here and I just want to keep reading *cries* Love this so much!!
xoxo
Mary

Author's Response: I'm glad you really like this story so far. I'm happy about your feelings for all the characters as well. This review actually served as my main motivation for getting the next chapter finished, so be on the look out for it! I'm sending it in today.

Thank you for reviewing and reading!


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Review #3, by AussieLottie But It Shouldn't Matter

27th July 2014:
So am I correct in thinking that of the girls Brett's parents have named as possible suitors, Carrie is on that list? Because that would be cute as. I mean I can tell James and Carrie are going to happen because that's how this story was advertised but I mean... Brett is sexy. :P

I like the way you write as well! It makes things very believable and I think this is only accentuated by the realistic flow of conversation you create. Great work so far!!

So all that is left to say is that you really have to update as soon as possible because I am desperate to find out what happens next!!!

10/10 and keep on writing!
~AussieLottie

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing! Thank you for letting me know that the conversation is flowing well. I was a bit worried that it sounded awkward. Yes, Carrie is on that list, but neither of them are the type to point it out and talk about it.

I'm hoping to submit the new chapter very soon!

Thank you again!


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Review #4, by Anna But It Shouldn't Matter

21st July 2014:
The story is great so far, the dynamics between the characters are really interesting - please continue xx

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like the characters so far.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #5, by happyanon But It Shouldn't Matter

21st July 2014:
I like how James is a good head boy, chivalrious and all but I think for Carrie, someone like Brett would be good since they understand each other to some extent since they are both born in a life where blood and status matter. Plus I adore how Brett acts like a total as shole but deep down we all know there's some good in him. James of course for a story would be the typical choice but reality wise, and based on how i think Carrie's brain works, not wanting much trouble and drama, Brett is the saner option. And honestly, I'd choose brett myself and havent actually figured out why.. pls update soon. I love this but i hope we get more carrie being a genius and meet her family or something. Good job!!

Author's Response: I'm glad you really like Brett. My biggest fear when starting this was that people would be completely opposed to him. James and Carrie don't really know each other that well, but that's going to change. They're definitely not two people who fall in love at first sight. You will meet her family. I can't guarantee you'll really like any of them though.

Thank you for the review and I will try to update soon!


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Review #6, by Lalaldeele But It Shouldn't Matter

20th July 2014:
Love this! Please update soon.

Author's Response: I will try! Thank you for the review!

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Review #7, by happyanon I'm a Pureblood

12th July 2014:
I have never read something so unusual yet so real before. I love how you made her smart but has all these obvious emotional problems, clearly damages made by her pureblood family. I like how Brett is a part of her life and again a proof that she isnt the usual goody goody, def not with a secret like that. However, despite her relationship with Brett being mucked up, there is definitely something there. I also like how being a puff you can def feel the slytherin in her and not to mention the ravenclaw, i like how she's not a shy mumbling mess while spying and how shes not the rash type. Id say she's the perfect slytherin but like the hat said she tolerates and forgives, something the snakes lack a bit. Hats off to you, i hope this story is not abandoned or forgotten, it would be such a waste. It can go so mucn further like a lot of drama and a bit of comedy but it has the highest potential for heartbreak and i love that.

Author's Response: I'm putting the finishing touches on the next chapter. I was busy with finals and then I dropped my laptop... I'm a bit clumsy, but I just got my new one. Hopefully, I'll update more frequently now.

Thank you for commenting on Carrie's character. It took some time to think up and I hope I can continue to not bore you with her character.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #8, by potterfan310 I'm a Pureblood

14th April 2014:
Hi!

Poor Dom getting a stalker so early on but I guess when your part veela it's hard not too :p

I feel stupid but what's an elective?

Ahh a love/hate relationship between Carrie and James! This is going to get so interesting. I can't wait to see how it plays out between them.

Carrie and Brett are really interesting especially their sort of friends with benefits relationship. Plus the fact that she's a Hufflepuff and he's a Slytherin makes it more interesting!

Aiden is great, bless him trying to persuade Carrie.

"The new first years were actually quite rude. Kids these days just don't respect their elders." - I agree with this so much! They really don't have a care in the world these days and I swear that when we were younger that we weren't like that.

I love how the Gryffie Quidditch team is mostly Potter-Weasleys and then Josh.

CC: Britisms:

Grade - would be Year
Couch - Try sofa or settee

"I opened the door and she pushed passed me into the room and shut the door(.) I began to bring my stuff back to my bed when the door slammed open." - You forgot the full stop between the two sentences.

"Wait the same Greene that's you" - There's an 'r' missing off the end of you.

I love this so far, it's just so refreshing to read than your standard boy meets girl or boy is siblings best friend sort of story.

James! I love him so far and I can't wait to see more of him, and Carrie.I think Carrie's perfect and she has her flaws (I mean everyone does), her personality is brilliant and I love her! :D

I'm looking forward to the next one!

-Potterfan310
Soph xx

Author's Response: I'm glad that you like it so far. I apologize for some of the grammar mistakes. I hope I'll catch those next time.

I also want to apologize about the whole couch vs. sofa thing. I've been corrected on it before. It's not even that couch is an American term it's literally just three states and I happen to be in one of them.I always appreciate the corrections on the proper slang.

I also think there might be a slang for elective, but I'm not sure. An elective is a class that someone takes in addition to the ones that are required, but I have no idea how to say that in proper terms.

I really appreciate the long review. It really helps me with writing the next chapter. I have certain events planned out, but not specific chapters to put them in, so this really helps me get a feel for what my readers are thinking.

Thank you for the review and I will try to update soon!


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Review #9, by Alice Blu Because I Forgive and Tolerate

16th March 2014:
This was bloody fantastic and I NEED more. Like, stat.

Author's Response: Okay, so I'm sorry I didn't respond to your review right away. I'm glad that you love the story and want to read more. Sorry that it came so late, but I'm now answering your review with confidence that the next chapter is on it's way.

Thank you for the review!


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Review #10, by AccioTeddyLupin Because I Forgive and Tolerate

14th March 2014:
I would like to point out James has hazel eyes...Anyways I like your story. Different and entertaining! Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: Keep in mind that Carrie isn't that observant. She'll start to notice a lot more things bout James later. Thank you for telling me though. :)

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Review #11, by potterfan310 Because I Forgive and Tolerate

14th March 2014:
Ahh I love Carrie, she's pretty awesome. So is Dom, there's definitely something about her (in a good way) :D

Teddy seems so cool, he's gonna be such a great laid back teacher I think. Can't wait to see more of him!

I'm with Carrie and Dom, I'm part of the ponytail club as well :p

And so we meet James! I can't wait to see more of him and Carrie and it'll certainly be interesting to see how a romance plays out between them. It's sort of cute she's forgotten or didn't even realise who her potions partner was.

Britpicking - Couch would either be sofa or settee.

Lily is one of am absolute favourite next gen characters and she's so innocent in this bless her. I love the fact she asks if Carrie likes girls, too funny.

I'm like James so far, he seems a little gawky (is that even a word?) but cute as well as slightly full of himself, but just a teeny bit. Looking forward to how he and Carrie start to get along.

Carrie being in Hufflepuff is really interesting and I like the thought behind it!

I love this so far as it's so different and unique :D Looking forward to the next one!

-Potterfan310

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so far and also find the story points interesting. Hopefully, you won't hate any of the characters to much later and I'm ecstatic that you find Carrie and her reasons for being in Hufflepuff interesting. Those points will show up a lot in the story.

Thank you for the nice long review. I probably won't be updating anytime soon because I'm going on vacation and should be writing a paper (should being the key word).


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Review #12, by potterfan310 I'm a Hufflepuff

6th March 2014:
I like this so far, it's really original and refreshing! As well as exciting!

Carrie is really original and she sounds great! The fact she comes from a family of Slytherin/Pure bloods is really interesting especially as she's a Hufflepuff.

I've never seen Dom as a Hufflepuff so it's interesting to see her in a different house that she's never normally in. And the whole way you've characterised her is like a breath of fresh air!

I'm excited to see how Carrie's relationship thing plays out with Brett and then when you throw James Potter in the mix at some is really going to be fun.

I have a feeling that when Carrie meets Dom's family she'll meet James and the rest will become history.

The triplets are pretty funny, I love their names though!

There's really not set ages for the next gen kids so don't worry too much about re-arranging them! I've done it myself for certain stories.

Two bits of CC -
Try not to use 0 to separate the story either try a line break (which can be found when you edit a chapter, next to the little icon of a mountain) or three asterisks ***

"And Slugghorn looked up from his" - You put and extra 'g' in Slughorn

I really like this story so far and I can tell it's gonna be a good one. I'm definitely adding this to my favourites and I can't wait for another update!!

10/10
-Potterfan310
Soph :D

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the long review. I'm happy that you like Carrie so far. Yeah, I caught a few of my mistakes and thank you for the advice on separating the different breaks in the story. I'm glad that you find the concept interesting I was a little afraid that it would be too out there if I changed around some of the characters.

You'll see more of Carrie's relationship with Brett in the next two chapters. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep your attention.

Once again, thank you for the review it means a lot to me. :)


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Review #13, by newgenerationlover I'm a Hufflepuff

4th March 2014:
Really interesting start! I can't wait to keep reading!!

Author's Response: I should be updating with the next chapter soon. However, it's unlikely that I will ever update that quickly again...

I'm glad you found this interesting and I'm happy that you left me a review! :)


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