Reading Reviews for Fake
  
16 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Persephones_Child Chapter Four

20th May 2015:
I'M BEGGING YOU TO WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER
THIS STORY IS MY FUEL
I LOVE IT

Author's Response: thank you so much! new chapter will be up shortly! xx

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Review #2, by looneylizzie Chapter Four

14th May 2015:
Hello! I’ve been meaning to come by and R&R this since I noticed you updated.

So firstly, YAY! You updated!! So exciting! This story is extremely intriguing, especially because of the way you work modern technology/lifestyle into wizarding characters, who are part of a world that is notoriously behind.

I love Mollie Jenkins. Firstly, because of her name. It’s awesome. She’s also very well described and clearly a good match for James as a publicist - she keeps him in line (to a certain extent) and knows how to react to whatever comes up.

I’m curious as to why they’re telling Mollie the truth about the fact that their relationship is false. I mean, they didn’t need to…but it also makes sense, since it’s one less person to lie too. Her reaction is unexpectedly calm (given her reactions earlier), but it also makes sense that she’d stop and see how James might benefit from the scenario. I like that!

The secrecy act is also a really cool idea. It makes total sense why they do it, but part of me is thinking, “wouldn’t that be illegal in some way?” Then again, whether legal or not, it doesn’t mean that Mollie and James wouldn’t still do it.

Nice. I like that Mollie doesn’t even react to Nat’s statement about her family. She doesn’t even pause…such a good little tidbit.

Oh Nat. It’s funny that they’re claiming she was shy about bringing their relationship to the public, but in actuality she’s not even scared of the reporters.

Love the 'anonymous tip’ thing. That’s brilliant! Ditto with the sunglasses…which is downright hilarious. That explains why celebrities are always wearing them…

Wow, their acting is phenomenal. Like, they don’t even miss a beat. It’s almost flawless. It makes me wonder if any awkwardness might pop up that might mess with them behind-the-scenes, or eventually give the family/friends/media something to poke holes in their relationship?

I’d love to hear a little bit more about what Nat is thinking while doing all this acting. Does she feel as good as she’s pretending to be? Is she overthinking her actions? Perhaps the opposite? Is there anything they’re doing that feels absolutely ridiculous and she is internally rolling her eyes at?

HA! The interview! Melanie seems to disapprove of Nat’s job. Well, she can suck it!

Also, when she says “If you have any other news…” I almost fell like she’s implying that there should be something else…like, Nat’s pregnant or something. Which is kind of hysterical.

Why doesn’t Melanie ask them for their engagement story? That seems like it’d be pretty high on the list of questions to ask.

Smoked salmon for breakfast? Ewww…

HA! The article is brilliant! Very nicely done!

And I’m sure the Quidditch League Ball is going to be loads of fun for those two. :D

So, besides my reactions, I’ve got just a few little CC’s for ya:

“…her voice rose up and screeched away, much like it was doing now.” - I would drop the “much like it was doing now” and perhaps change “rose up” to “rose an octave.” - “rose up” just doesn’t describe how her voice changed very well.

There’s several lines like that throughout the chapter that if you change just one word in some way will make the whole thing flow better. I would try to have someone go through it and make some corrections, or even just read the chapter out loud, so you don’t miss anything.

Also, watch your tenses. Sometimes you’re using present tense, other times past. I would try to keep the present tense in the dialogue itself, with past tense everywhere else.

Really, the things I’m noting are all grammatical, not any issues with content, which is a really good thing! Your story is great and I’m looking forward to reading more!!
LL

P.S. Sorry if this is kind of a long and ridiculous review. Feel free to ignore me, but I still love this story!!
P.P.S. If you have any questions you’re welcome to catch up with me on the forums, I go by the same name there. ;)

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review! i'll definitely go through and find somethings to fix and add in! xx

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Review #3, by Yas Chapter Four

6th May 2015:
Hey there!
I just found your story and I already love it! It's really adorable.
I'm really excited how this story continues. Especially with Natalia being a seer.
Let's see who's in love first ;-)

I hope you will continue with your story :)

Author's Response: hey thanks for you review! can't wait to update again so you can read more into Natalia's story xxx

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Review #4, by A Chapter Four

4th May 2015:
Love this story so much, please update soon

Author's Response: hey thanks for you review! can't wait to update again so you can read more into Natalia's story xxx

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Review #5, by LittleMissAutumn Chapter Four

3rd May 2015:
This idea is so cute! I love how you incorporated the wizarding versions of social media and how word travels much faster than just owls! Natalia has an interesting backstory and I'm curious to know when and how James will react when he learns about her being a seer! And what will happen when her family comes out of the dark and learns of their daughter's "engagement"! I'm sure her getting married to a Potter will surely spark their attention and interest, most likely for their own gain since they no longer speak to their daughter.

Update soon please!

Author's Response: hey thanks for you review! can't wait to update again so you can read more into Natalia's story xxx

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Review #6, by Avery Wood Chapter Three

10th March 2015:
I LOVE THIS BOOK ITS SO GOOD PLEASE UPDATE BECAUSE I LOVE THIS BOOK SO MUCH

Author's Response: thank you for your review! will be updating as soon as possible :) x

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Review #7, by looneylizzie Chapter Three

18th December 2014:
This story is awesome! Can't wait for more! Please keep updating!!! :D

Author's Response: thank you for your review! next chapter will be up shortly as soon as its written! xx

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Review #8, by Jayne Chapter Three

15th November 2014:
Ahh the plot is so adorable and James is terribly sweet. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: thank you for your review! next chapter shall be up soon (hopefully!) :) xx

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Review #9, by Hedwig20 Chapter Three

14th November 2014:
So funny! Please update soon!

Author's Response: thank you for your review! i plan on updating within the month, so stayed tuned! :) xx

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Review #10, by macpp Chapter Three

12th November 2014:
I like it, v funny and I like the characters. update more soon plz

Author's Response: thank you for your review! I'm glad you enjoy the story, the next chapter will hopefully be up within the month!! :) x

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Review #11, by macpp Chapter Two

24th October 2014:
I likethis, will you be continuing soon?

Author's Response: thank you for your review! yes the next chapter is currently being written and will be up soon! sorry for the wait xx

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Review #12, by Slytherin85 Chapter Two

29th April 2014:
I love fake relationship stories. This is really good, keep up the good work. Can't wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: thank you! shall try and update soon :)

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Review #13, by ruthdobble Chapter Two

29th April 2014:
I really, really, really like this story! It's got such a nice flow to it :) I like how she's a seer and I'm loving all the characters. It's a really great idea, I've read quite a few fics about 'Fake fiancee's' before but this one seems to be taking quite a different turn with the whole 'vision's' thing. I look forward to reading more!

Author's Response: thank you so much! will try and update soon! x

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Review #14, by Marina Chapter One

13th April 2014:
Please continue this story! I love it!

Author's Response: thank you! x

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Review #15, by sleepingdragons Chapter One

14th March 2014:
Nice start! Looking forward to reading more :) xx

Author's Response: thank you! i'll hopefully update soon! :) xxx

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Review #16, by Haylie_Thee_Potterhead Chapter One

4th March 2014:
Amazing Story! please continue, no rush, but please continue :-)

Author's Response: thank you and sure will! next chapter is almost finished! xx

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