Reading Reviews for Always, For You
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HeyMrsPotter Pictures on the Wall

30th June 2014:
Me again :)

This is another really intriguing chapter, Kyle. You have a really good ability to give away just the right amount of information at the right times in your chapters to keep a reader interested.

Seamus being Garret's father was an unexpected twist and from what they told Louis in this chapter I'm wondering if Garret cast a memory charm on Louis for some reason, as members of both their families seem to know what happened and Louis is the only one who doesn't. But why?!

As always, you have some really good description, I liked the way you wrote about the street, especially the line about privacy not being important, it gave me a good picture in my head of the street :)

Again just a few spelling/grammar points:

Things like hair similar to Garrets and Garrets parents need an apostrophe-Garret's because the hair and the parents belong to Garret.
yule ball should be capitalised.

Again, they're just really minor things though :) Another great chapter, I'm hoping to catch up on the next one as soon as work isn't so busy!


Dee :)

Author's Response: Thanks dee!
I don't want to spoil too much but there is a small hint in chapter 2.
I had fun messing with Seamus. Muhahaha. It wasn't ever specified who he ever ended up with. And the summers guy was a hufflepuff within a couple years of them. Thanks again kyle


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Review #2, by HeyMrsPotter Duels, Dreams, and Revelations

30th June 2014:
Hi, Kyle! I'm here with your super late reviews (I'm sosososo sorry!!)

I'm definitely more intrigued than ever about Garrett, obviously Louis had some connection with him if he was dreaming about him but I never would have thought he actually knew him in the past and didn't remember. It makes for a really nice twist in the story. The fact that his whole family know what their history is and haven't told him makes me feel really bad but at the same time I'm thinking there must be a reason.

I really liked the description you used in this chapter, particularly in the duel between Louis and Vic. It was definitely my favourite part of the chapter.

I thought the part with the cuts appearing on his arms was really clever, it definitely tells the reader that whoever Garrett is and whatever his connection with Louis there is some serious dark and unknown magic going on.

I also enjoyed that you explored the relationships within the family a little more here and we got to see more of their personalities. Like, obviously Vic is super protective of her family, and that theme continued nicely from the last chapter. I have to agree with you about Dom, she's my favourite in this chapter too. I like that she seems to be the only one who is protective of Louis but also wants him to have a say in things, it's his life after all.

In terms of grammar/spelling, there was a couple things I noticed:
is that something in your brain must of blocked out the images should be must have rather than must of.

Is this some sort of connection with the dreams. needs a question mark.

They're really minor things though :)

I'm sorry again that this took me so long to get around to! I'm going to do the second one now :D

Dee

Author's Response: Thanks Dee!
I love writing Vic like this, cause usually she isn't the nicest of characters but in this at least she has a little heart. The duel was fun to write, if I was a wizard I would probably duel my siblings once a week.
And there is some very dark magic involved. We meet the baddie in chapter five.
Thanks Dee!
Kyle


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Review #3, by GingeredTea A new Kind of Dream

19th May 2014:
So your introduction had me mesmerized. As Louis wakes up, you still had me firmly in your grasp. There was a sense to the writing that gave it a imaginative quality - I could see it all in my head, which I truly loved. Then, you introduced Victorie, and their dialogue quickly seemed to degrade into something not-quite-fitting. You've described this terrible nightmare. Louis has woken up, gasping for air, rushing to the toilet and vomiting. Victorie comes in - great - but then they start bantering, and it just felt like the story really shifted all of a sudden, leaving me reeling. If it's so normal for Louis maybe I would understand, but I'd see want a transition at that moment like 'it was so normal for him, and so normal for Victorie to find him in this position, that he found it easy to be pulled into her banter and banish, at least for the moment, the nightmare from his mind'. OR, as I just read " Vic and I have always, for the most part got along fairly well, and after the dreams originally started happening, she knew how to distract me and get my mind off of them."

Author's Response: Thanks! I loved writing the dream. I kinda understand what you mean about Victorie and Louis, but it's just what they do :) Maybe that is what you were trying to say with that last bit? - Thanks again
kyle


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Review #4, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Lost

3rd May 2014:
Ahh, scary dreams. I take it that was Eros? He's a horrible person, I don't want him to hurt Garrett (I'm trying not to imagine him with Chris Pine's face, it helps to hate him).

I like Natalie, she's nice. Probably just a minor character, or a cameo, but I hope she comes back.

And we're in Austin... Next stop: Garrett!

Can't wait for the next chapter! :D

Sam.

Author's Response: I loved writing Natalie, I'm glad I changed what happened to her at the end of the story.
And yep that was him, he won't be back for a couple more chapters.
an yep Garret shall be back soon and for a couple chapters it shall just be a big ball of fluff.
Thanks for the Review Sam!
-kyle


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Review #5, by HeyMrsPotter A Face in the Crowd

24th April 2014:
Me again :)

I like that you added the detail about the pub being a nicer place with Hannah managing it. I always appreciate little details like that in a story, especially ones in next-gen that acknowledge the huge passing of time since the war ended :) I also LOVE the changes that you added to Diagon Alley, the very idea of having a muli-floored outdoor shopping street is just so completely typical of the Wizarding World. Your desciption there is really great, I can picture the new street perfectly, especially the lanterns.

It was nice to learn a little more about Louis in this chapter, your development of his character so far is good. I like that he's quite confident, obviously intelligent and seems unafraid to get what he wants. I'm looking forward to learning more about Garret and seeing the role he will play in the story, and the reason for his appearence in Louis' dream. I suspect his ex may have a little something to do with it.

I did notice just a couple of tiny typos in this one-
"Their where Peonies prancing..." should be "There were..."
" Your very happy that you got a book, but I would advise you to let me go so I can breath" should be "You're very happy that you got a book, but I would advise you to let me go so I can breathe"

Other than those minor details, another really interesting and enjoyable chapter :D I think I'll favorite this and come back to it!

Dee :)

Author's Response: Thanks again Dee!

I absolutely loved writing the new alley. For me it was a matter of convenience as 19 years later the population would've probably grown a fair amount, and Diagon Alley was crowded a good amount already. :)

I'll go and take a look at those errors thanks for pointing them out.

-kyle


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Review #6, by HeyMrsPotter A new Kind of Dream

24th April 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your review :D

I think this is a really great opening chapter, there's plenty of intrigue but enough information in there so that I'm not completely lost reading it, and you give just enough away about who the story will be about without having a total information dump. I always find that the first chapter of a novel is hard to write but you've got really good balance here so well done :D

I really like that you started with the dream sequence, and I'm every bit as curious as Louis to find out what it was all about. Where is the city? What happened to it? Was it real? And what does that all have to do with Louis?! And then the scar appearing on his head-very interesting!

I enjoyed this so much I'm actually going to go ahead and read the next chapter :D

Dee :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much Dee! The city is based on a real city (that I have been to before and had a lot of fun destroying) and we will be seeing it again in a later chapter :) thanks again

- kyle


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Review #7, by AudenPenelope A new Kind of Dream

14th April 2014:
Hi! I'm AudenPenelope from the forum review tag!

Ah! Our boy Lou is gay? I'm not going to lie, I always thought he might be and I'm not sure why. I like how snarky he is in this. It makes him extremely likable as a narrator. And I love the interaction between he and Vic. They have such a typical loving sibling relationship and it's so interesting to read Vic as something other than a super-jerk.

Oh, no! What was that dream about? It was a very interesting start and I quite enjoyed it. I don't usually read slash or Louis Weasley stories but this is interesting!

I can't wait to see what is in store!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it. The dream was very fun to write, as I got to destroy a town I have been to before :)
And I like it when Vic isn't a snob cause I have read many stories like that. But she does get a little mean in tje next couple chaptrs.

Thanks again. Kyle


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Review #8, by marauderfan A new Kind of Dream

20th March 2014:
Hufflepuff Review Tag swap! :p

Hm, I don't think I've read a story about Louis Weasley before. So yay!

wow, that dream is intense! I wonder why Louis is getting these strange dreams. Is he a seer but doesn't know it? Was he the unknowing victim of a bad-dream-hex? (Ok, probably not) Well, it's certainly eerie. I'll be interested to see what is causing that and what it means!

I love the sibling relationship you've portrayed between Vic and Louis. The way she teases him a lot but still really looks out for him - she's a good older sister. Also a believable one, because what older sibling doesn't snoop around through the younger sibling's stuff? hehe.

Already you have done really well with the characters, the only thing I'd suggest would be to have a look over the verb tense again as it switches back and forth a bit. Anyway, this is a great start on this fic, I enjoyed this chapter! Nice job :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I love working with these characters. I've started to look more closely at watching my verb tenses when writing the later chapters, so hopefully I am catching it a lot better. I just need to stop being lazy and go back through to edit this chapter again :P
Thanks again though!
- kyle (Hufflepuff_Blits)


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Review #9, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Pictures on the Wall

16th March 2014:
Hey!

Look at Louis, sneaking out. I expected it, no doubt his family would have stopped him if he tried to tell them (some of them anyway). Still, must have been a little sad for him, to have to leave them and sneak away.

Finnigan! Garret is a Finnigan! Now I love him even more. His parents are awesome, even if one did slam the door in poor Louis' face. It must be so sad for them, Garret leaving. I want him to come home, I don't want Seamus to cry. *Hugs Seamus*

What did Garret do? I know you can't tell me, but I'm asking anyway. Everyone knows about Louis' messed up memory but me... and Louis. :P

I hope he finds what he's looking for.

Cool chapter!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hey! thanks a bunch Sam!

I feel bad for Louis about having to leave but it'll be good for him.

Haha yes he is a Finnigan, I also realized that Blake from Magic in the Walls is also a Finnigan, I guess I just love that family too much.

Haha, as River Song would say... Spoilers. All I can say is that it has been vaguely hinted at, as to what happened to Louis. And the Pictures probablly helped with the hint.

In the next couple chapters we meet the antagonist! Which will start to explain things a little bit. Right now there are nine more chapters planned out, but it might increase if some of the chapters can use it.

once again thanks Sam! *hugs*

-Kyle



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Review #10, by TheHeirOfSlytherin Duels, Dreams, and Revelations

8th March 2014:
Dueling! :O I love when Louis fights back, I don't know why, it's just awesome to see. Sad that he's fighting his sister, though, but I'd fight her too if she was stopping me from finding out about something important.

I don't like these dreams, they're hurting him too much. *hugs Louis*

So, they know Garret, do they? I knew it! Does Garret not remember Louis either or was he just pretending? I have so many questions!

I think Dom is my favorite minor character in this; she's so awesome and understanding and knows what he needs to do to get her brother help. I'm glad.

I look forward to seeing Teddy.

I'm so glad I paused writing to read this. :)

Sam.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I loved writing the duel and even though it's with his sister, she was being overprotective.
I can't tell you too much about Garret and Louis' history but I can tell you that it was hinted at in chapter two ;)
I had so much fun writing Dom, she worries but she understands that Louis has his feelings also.
Teddy should be in the next chapter :)
once again thanks! - kyle


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Review #11, by TheHeirOfSlytherin A Face in the Crowd

5th March 2014:
I'm here! And with plenty of time to spare! :D

Diagon Alley sounds so cool! Like, I'd actually go out and see it cool (as a socially awkward loner writer who lives in the dark, going out is not something I do as a rule, it's actually a foreign concept to Sam :P). And Ellie's! Aww, Louis and Ciaran should go back there one day. ;) It was fun seeing it.

I love Louis' book. If magic is real, I want it. :D It feels important somehow, in my little head which is full of theories and links that often don't work. Am I right? Will it help Louis?

Back to Ellie's, if only New Guy wasn't leaving. Louis could take him instead. I'm very intrigued with Garret, I look forward to figuring out what his story is and his part in Louis' dreams. I suppose either Louis will follow him to America or something will happen that leads him there, since he goes.

Poor Louis being scolded by his sister for talking to Garret. Does she know Garret somehow and not like him? Or is she just playing the protective older sister card? I'm glad he'll forgive her, but as an adult I understand why he was angry over it. I would be.

And now I wait for the mysterious chapter three...

Loved this chapter!

Sam.

Author's Response: I really wanted to expand Diagon Alley and I think it would of been easier to go down instead of up!

Did you like the part about magical keys? I really tried to make it subtle but I put it in there just for you!

The book will come in later, and I can't spoil too much of the story for you.

I can tell you that chapter 3 is going to be called Duels, Dreams, and Revelations. :) we get to see Dom and Teddy :) - Thanks! kyle


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Review #12, by TheHeirOfSlytherin A new Kind of Dream

27th February 2014:
AH!!!

Hi.

Anyway, Louis! I'm reading a Louis story! From you! Do you have any idea how freaking excited I am! You can probably guess. A clue: I'm reading now and reviewing, I have stopped writing to do so. That's how excited I am. :D

This dream is so... weird. I'm sure I'll get it later, but right now I am very confused... it's great. I love a good mystery. I wanna know who this guy is, though.

I don't want Louis to be sick. Poor baby. He needs a hug. *Hugs Louis*

TEDDY AND LOUIS! God, I miss them together as a pairing. Thank you for that, I don't care if it's only a crush in a journal, I loved it. :P

The only thing I suggest is a read-through for tense. I understood why their was past tense for some it, but was a bit confused as to a bit in the beginning. It felt like there was past tense when there should be present tense, because I assume from the rest of the story that this is written in present tense. I might just be reading wrong, though, so a read-through will tell you what needs fixing, or allow you to tell me that I'm wrong and need to butt out. :P

This was a great first chapter, I'm very excited for more!

Sam.

Author's Response: Hey! Thanks so much! The dream was kind of confusing, I admit, but I think it will be easier to understand once the location is revealed later in the story. Also the guy will be revealed soon ;).
I like teddy and Louis as a pairing that could never be. But I feel better about it cause a lot of times people write Vic as a kinda unpleasant person which I wanted the complete opposite of.
And yeah I was having a fight with getting the right tense going. so I will be sure to go and take a look at it again.
Thanks again Sam! - kyle


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