Reading Reviews for The Lost Wolf
90 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Gail Welin A Wolf at the Door

5th October 2015:
Ciao, bellissima!

Oh, Cassie, how I've missed you! ♥

So, I really like the changes you've made - I can't pinpoint all of them since it's been a while since I've first read this chapter. But I do feel like there was no mention of an aunt Mary, before. I might be wrong - I liked it anyway ;)
Also, I really like the parts you added with the Colonel and the speech of his. "Women are made for men". Ha! How I loathe you, Colonel. How I loathe you with intense pleasure.
What I love most is that it feels like you've made Cassie's persona stronger, emotionally speaking. Prouder.
I really like that "Let the dance begin" line!

It might be just me, though, but I feel like giving the Colonel more dialogue (he is talking more, right? I'm not imagining it and remembering wrongly?) had him loose some of the mysterious disdain he oozed... Mmh. Could it be because of the caps, maybe? It's a mental picture I get with caps: furious yelling, uncontrolled anger. Yet the Colonel is in control (or he thinks he is).

"He's supposed to be your father" Cassie totally nailed it; he's supposed to be.
There's a Shredder/Karai feel to their relationship, with him calling him "Daughter" (sorry, I'm totally into TMNT atm) and so it's even more liberating that she's ready to stay head-strong.

"hidden in the bushes behind the school." that part confused me a little: she's an adult in this version (which allows her to freely tell the Colonel to sod off without worrying about legal guardians and all that, so that's really cool) so I'm not sure if the stashed clothes are in the present and are still hidden for daily use or are in the past as a thing she used to have hidden.

You used "heritance", which sounded right to my foreign English at first, but I think it's INheritance (for some reason I can't fathom beyond some things just not really making sense in the English language).

The flashbacks are as real as they get and grip me as your written flashbacks do.
Cassie is a survivor Kid (haha, Lost Wolf pun in a review for The Lost Wolf ^^)! ♥



All the love,



Sorry. I may just have missed your comments a bit.

I'm so happy you liked the new version of this chapter! Aunt Mary was there before, but yeah, the Colonel does talk more! I decided to add some dialogue in order to give a more "solid" background to what happened between him and Cassandra... The contrast between how he is in control of the situation and how badly he handles it was part of my will to pinpoint how lame he is. He is used to be surrounded by people who agree with everything he says, he is always in control... In the end, he is in control even when it comes to Cassandra, but the fact that she doesn't go down without a good fight makes him lose his cool more than he would like to admit.

Regarding the "bushes" part, that was referred to Cassandra's teenage's years, when she was still in high school. :) I will go back and see if I can write it more clearly :).

Thank you for the mistake you pointed out, AND AW THE PUN. I really missed you!

Thank you again, and I hope to hear from you soon!

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Review #2, by MalfoysCarolinaGirl2010 A Wolf at the Door

23rd September 2015:

Wow this was an emotionally charged chapter. Even with the dream sequences, I could feel the fear and awe. I could feel the anger Cassandra felt when facing the Colonel. Well done!

I'm not an expert with grammar (actually I'm horrible at it) but I did notice a few typos but it really was only 2 or 3 not enough to damage the readability of the chapter so good job. I know you are going through edits but might I recommend a beta if you don't already have one?

Overall this was a great start from a reader's standpoint and I look forward to seeing what is next. :)

Peace, Love, and Tacos


Author's Response: Hi!
Thank you so much for your review! I am happy you liked this version of the chapter. I will take note of the typos you noticed and correct them as soon as I can :). As I said this editing thing is an in fieri process, so suggestions are always welcomed!

Speaking of editing... Due to a currently busy schedule, I haven't been able to edit anything beyond the fourth chapter. Just so you know, I haven't changed much from the original story, but you may get a bit confused here and there.

Thank you again!


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Review #3, by CaramelDiamant Street Spirit

27th June 2015:
Hello again maryhead!

Aaand again sorry for the delay! I just can’t do anything on time these days ;) To the readers: This contains massive spoilers not only for this chapter but the next ones as well!

In order to keep this neat I divided this review of your chapter in three parts:

1) Beginning up to Break out of Askaban
2) Middle part up to Reaching of London
3) London up to the End

But, you know, I can’t live without an introduction sentence, so I’ll go with: I love your different POVs! They are incredible! Being the sneaky Puffer I am, I almost finished your story already and every time I open up a new page I’m amazed how you keep on changing perspective :)

1) I haven’t really lost many words on rhetorical devices/ word choice in my last reviews, so I want to catch up on that with this one, because the chapter is perfectly suited for it. It is in both ways crafted. I think to go with an anaphor as the introduction was a good choice. It helps to flesh out the different kinds of bravery Sirius holds, in simply starting the sentences with the same words over and over; and then! you go on breaking it again! As I’ve mentioned before, you have a talent to go and break up the mood you created, which works here as well. Of course we suspect that Sirius is still in prison and this is merely a flashback but you hold the tension up high anyway; the quote was a neat transition between the two parts.

I like how you really get into Sirius’ head to figure out the effect of the Dementors. Especially the sentence structure is important here: Where you describe Sirius’ feelings/thoughts while under the influence of Dementors the sentences are shorter and choppier. Because I imagine you’d have real issues with coherent thoughts after experiencing this sort of torture, I feel you could even increase this way of writing, as he’s been under their watch for so long. I know you do it to a large extent already, for example right before he escapes, when he remembers Lily’s and James’ death. All I’m trying to say is: That works well and lets me get a believable glimpse into Sirius mind! (Note: Wherever I wrote ‘empathize’ in my last review, I meant ‘sympathize’ – just false friends fooling me again ;) )

2) Gah, I have to cut myself short! In regard to what I said on your style of writing ‘Sirius the Man’, I have to compliment you again in switching tone to ‘Sirius the Dog’. The sentences get longer and less confused, all fitting to the line “[he] couldn’t help but noticing that something in his mind was different.” We (the readers) really get to know the difference due to your writing technique!

Some minor stuff: a) Good explanation on how he could remember the address of the Dursley’s home but not the smell because it’s a happy memory! b) And (now I’m being picky) I wouldn’t mention Bellatrix’ surname, as I think we all know her name and for me it just doesn’t fit to mention your cousin by last name. c) One last suggestion: Sometimes in this paragraph you’re switching into Sirius’ thoughts. You used present tense in them, which is fine, but I’d maybe set them in italics just for readability. d) I love how you’re intertwining canon-happenings (e.g. Harry seeing the dog) with your story!

3) Getting back to a) from last paragraph: Yes! It makes sense that he can’t remember her smell properly! I just adore these creative explanations! One question: Are the people on the street breakdancing? If so, good foreshadowing; as well with the street-spirit topic, which comes back several times in the following chapters. You make it out to be muggle-subculture, which Sirius obviously wouldn’t recognize, and I think that adds a bit fluffiness to the chapter, which we all deserve ;)

Cassandra is shown not only from a different perspective (again, obviously) but also in a different aspect of her life, which really adds to her character! I think you’ve mentioned/ explained her rebellious attitude before but now we get real proof of that. I love these random hobbies of characters because it makes them so much more believable – in real life most people aren’t consistent and it always bugs me that in fiction they have to follow a straight line (even if they’re not Mary-Sue!).

My last words for now: Go on with your writing! I’m looking forward to reviewing lots of your stories! ;)


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Review #4, by CaramelDiamant In Limbo

14th June 2015:
Hello maryhead,

I’m finally here! Sorry it took me so long and thank you for your patience, it’s been a terrible stressful week for me!

I’ll go through your story mostly chronologically:

For me, the self-consciousness of Cassandra is very believable written and I can really empathize with her! To be disabled for such a short time and then be disgraced by your ‘family’, lose your job and home are a combination of life changing events a lot of people would go crazy over. That she’s still living through and somehow coping with the situation is amazing and you manage to break it up in little pieces, so that it’s not too overwhelming.

In changing the subject from miserable thoughts (“you can’t even walk without a crutch”) to reminiscing about her wounds and why they won’t heal, you take away the pressuring depressive mood to go into mystery and further developing the story. I love that! Then, again, the tone is changing to sadness and we’re back to “useless”. These breaks throughout your story are very well done and always keep the suspense, making me feel Cassandra’s distress but not letting it go out of hand.

That leads me to another paragraph: In the review of the first chapter I mentioned, that Cassandra is a bit too easy about her injury. I want to specify that: Of course she has insecurities, is in a bad mood and all that (and I think you’ve described that perfectly!). But there are daily struggles as well; I mean she’s had heart surgery and needs to learn to walk again with her prosthetic, her other leg must hurt like hell! Even if she’s been to rehab for a while, there are so many things you have to learn again. How do you clean the floor? I imagine kneeling down and then scrubbing must hurt so badly, if your wounds are not scarred already.

A comment on character: I like the very sparse comments on how Cassandra behaves, considering her background as a soldier, natural talent and not forgetting her past as a foster child at the same time. This is strongly supported by her actions: When she realizes her flashbacks for example, she grabs her writing utensils immediately. You did a fantastic job on balancing descriptive and acting elements; they’re completing and adding to one another.

One minor thing: I know she’s gifted with an almost genius mind and she already lived through a war (!!!), making her older (and maybe wiser) than she actually is. But some things can’t be changed, for example teenage hormones or just encountering things you haven’t experienced before. In adding some information about that, Cassandra’s character (although very well outlined anyway) could be even rounder and less super-woman like. Because, I think, dealing with such a fate just leaves marks which can’t be compensated with only a soldier’s routine.

And lastly the flashbacks: Have I mentioned I love puzzles and riddles? It’s so compelling to read how she finds out piece by piece what happened and although we roughly know what’s going on, there are still gaps and I can’t wait to see how you’re filling these!

I’m sorry for the long ramble, but sometimes I can’t find the right words, so I have to make up with more sentences! All in all, this chapter was a fantastic read!


Author's Response: Hi again! Thank you for your review, this is really incredibly useful!

You made interesting points about those parts of Cassandra's personality I did not mention in these chapters, and I think I owe you an explanation. As you rightfully noticed, I tend to alternate between descriptions of complete and utter misery and more "impersonal" parts. Being a medical student I know how difficult it is to recover from injuries like the ones Cassandra has, but I thought that concentrating too much on Cassandra's struggles would have become excessive in a single chapter. Reading on you will find out that I do, in fact, mention her physical pain in detail, and at some point this will become an essential theme of the story. For now, please, bear with me and my obsession with gradual introduction of themes and issues!

Regarding your second observation, you are perfectly right here too, but again, I have to repeat myself and ask you to be patient. I needed Cassandra to act like a tough girl for a couple of chapters so as to let the story proceed. I couldn't let her freak out on the floor of her apartment for months, could I ;)? However, as you said she is a teenager first, and even though she would really love to be mature and wise, she isn't. She misses her Dad, the protection he gave her, she craves the sensation to be engulfed by love and care. She feels a burden, but she is angry too. And she is not mature enough to deal with such a whirlwind of clashing sensations in her mind. Absolutely not. She will do far too stupid things for her own good, she will lose control far too many times for her own good.

I began describing my OC from the outside. And from the outside she looks like a superwoman. But she isn't. She is a puzzle like the flashbacks and the mysteries you'll find along the way, and I do hope you will be patient enough to follow them and see where they lead you to.

Thanks again for the useful review, I really appreciated it. I would be glad to re-request, if you want me to :).


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Review #5, by CaramelDiamant A Wolf at the Door

14th June 2015:
Heya maryhead,

this will only be a short review, as I like to review every chapter and moving on to the next one real quick!

Can I turn into fangirl-mode right now? I absolutely adore your story! It is brutal and angsty and dark and ….*gush* Due to my normal craving for fluffy and humerous pieces I’m not used to read something so intense.

At first I couldn’t believe you really made her loose a leg and I was shocked to no end. But so far (I’ve read 4 chapters) you make it work. Maybe you could add some more difficulties to it? I mean it’s a big, big deal to loose a limb and I feel she is a bit too nonchalant about it.

Second thing I wanted to mention is that I’m so excited what you make out of the storyline, that she doesn’t know about magic! Exploring such topics is awesome and intriguing to read.

A last bit on characters: The way you describe the Colonel is totally fine but I was confused that he is “too short to intimidate anyone”. I guess you didn’t want him to be the generic scary foster father, but maybe you could alter it a bit in making Cassandra stand up noticing that she’s actually taller than him or anything like that. Well, that was just my moment where I thought something didn’t quite fit ;)

Okeydokey, now onto the next chapter!


Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you for the lovely review, and sorry if I am a bit late at responding. Exams and HPFF cannot be combined, I'm afraid.

I am SO glad you like my story! I was not sure you would find it good, since, as you said, this angsty mix wasn't mentioned as part of your tastes in terms of fanfiction. I hope you will enjoy it also in the future :).

Cassandra is definitely too nonchalant about her missing leg, but that's part of her personality, I am afraid. She is incredibly stubborn and has the bad tendency to underestimate her real conditions. I have to say this happens quite often with doctors: they are so immersed in their science that they lose touch with the real entity of injuries and illnesses. They believe to be untouchable by the pains and sorrows they study, and when the unthinkable happens they either panic or depersonalise their problem, treating it at a mere clinical level. Cassandra is an odd mixture between the two categories, and this, combined with a high resistance to pain, will be her damnation. Now she is nochalant, but everything will come back at a point. Keep reading, and you'll find out how ;).

Regarding the Colonel you made an interesting point. When I'll edit everything I will go back to that part and see what I can do about it.

Thanks again for the review!


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Review #6, by merlins beard Jigsaw Falling Into Place

11th June 2015:
Oh I love this chapter! I'm so glad Cassie is so open minded and doesn't freak out when there's a strange man in her bathroom...

The memory exchange was curious. I'm hoping that you'll tell us the reason for that soon.

Why doesn't sirius change into a dog and join her. He could at least show her to the leaky cauldron, if not accompany her into diagon alley.

I love the Sirius joke right at the end.

I can't wait to read the next chapter


Author's Response: Oooh, this is when things start to get interesting!

I actually had to rewrite this chapter numerous times. Every single time it was too sappy, too angsty, too impersonal... I hope this version has the right equilibrium in it.

Cassandra's trust for Sirius is highly unusual. Later on you will see that other characters will have to work hard in order to get into her good books, and even then she will never be as... touchy as she is with him. There is a connection between them, probably because they are both victims, outcasts of their world and family. They share a history that broke them far more deeply than Remus' one did to him. They have already understood this at this point of the story, even though they don't even know each other, and their bond will only grow stronger with time. The nature of their bond is still to become clear, though.

The memory exchange is curious indeed! I'm glad you noticed the oddity of it all, because it is an essential point for the next steps of the plot. It will all be explained in the next chapters, I swear!

Oh, the Sirius joke... I just couldn't help myself ;). But it is the only one, promise!

Thank you for the review!!!


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Review #7, by merlins beard Go to Sleep

11th June 2015:
Sweet Merlin... I have no idea what to say to that... I never thought about how Remus' life was before he startet teaching at Hogwarts. This is such a sad but possible way for life to be that hard on him...
Maybe he'll get a bit better when he starts teaching. (This really isn't much like the character we got to know in POA so I think he might still chage before teaching Harry a Patronus)

I'm really happy that Sirius figured it out and I can't wait to see what happens next.


Author's Response: Hi again!

I decided to portrait Remus' character for different reasons. First of all, according to my plot Remus is by all means a father who lost his child when he probably needed her the most, a boy who lost his friends and family in a matter of months and a werewolf with confidence issues. Had he been a normal wizard with a normal family, he would have probably been still distraught by Cassandra's disappearance, but he may have reacted better, rebuilding his life from the ashes and, well... making different decisions. Unfortunately, he had to go through hell at a young age, and this scarred him for life. Another reason why I chose to depict him like this is that I wanted to give a reason why he hadn't visited Harry in twelve years. The books don't really give us an explanation, and I tried to fill the gap :). Don't worry, though: Hogwarts will be good for him, even though it will not solve all of his problems.

See you in the next chapter, and thanks again for the review!


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Review #8, by merlins beard A Reminder

11th June 2015:
Hi! Finally, FINALLY found some time to come back to this loevely story and spread some love.

Aw Cassandra really shouldn't have to do hurt herself further by carrying padfoot around. She needs to be careful. I don't know why she doesn't trust her friend (the vet)... maybe she has a valid reason, maybe it's just general distrust...

She really has to stop talking herself down. Yes, she's an amputee but that doesn't mean life has to stop. She's a doctor for gods sake, she can find a better job than at the hardware store.

I hope she finds out about Sirius soon. The suspense is killing me...

You might not have noticed but your formatting is really weird for this chapter. Might be good to have a quick look at that.

I love the flashback in the end. It's beautifully done and flows really well. Cassie could have had such a lovely childhood...
Aw, I'm really sorry she had to hear Remus' outburst right at the end. I hope she's ok.


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review, and sorry for my delay at responding... I had two exams this week, and I had to stop visiting HPFF for a while.

Cassandra is not an incredibly trusting person, but in this case she has a reason to feel slightly uncomfortable with the vet... I don't want to ruin the suspence, so I guess you'll have to find out in the next chapters ;). Regarding her lack of confidence and her consequent decision to not even try to apply for a doctor position...Knowing what she will discover later on, I think she made the right choice for once. Otherwise, she would have had to face an upsetting reality. Again, not telling! :P

I know, the formatting here is really wonky... I swear, I was sure to have fixed it, because it looked ok on my mobile...I'll go back and I'll edit everything again, promise :) .

I... I would like to tell you so many things about Remus' outburst, really, my hands are itching to give you further information! I can only tell that in my head Remus had originally been much... better than he turned out to be in this story. His intentions are good, but... Oh, I really must stop writing! Thank you for your lovely review, Anja!


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Review #9, by The Summer Snake A Wolf at the Door

31st May 2015:
Greetings from The Summer Snake! I have recently slithered out of hibernation and discovered this amazing place with such amazing stories, so I want to read and review as many as I can before I go back into hibernation!

This was a very interesting first chapter! It provided a great introduction to your story and I loved it. The plot looks amazing and I'd really love to keep reading on.

Cassandra is a great character. You've given her a very appealing personality and I already connect with her and feel for her - even though I'm a little reptile and she's a human. I like her brave attitude and at the same time the hurt she feels. You conveyed it all effectively.

Your descriptions are great and I could visualise everything. The scene setting is marvellous so far. I honestly don't know what else to say because this was a very good first chapter and I'm excited to see what turns the plot makes and how does Cassandra's story progress. You've given this a very intriguing premise!

All in all, looks like a lovely story and this chapter was a pleasure to read. I'm glad I could slither by!

*showers confetti and flowers* Have a nice summer!

Now I'll be off to explore more of this wonderful sun! See ya!

With love,
The Summer Snake

Author's Response: Hi, my friendly Snake! Thank you so much for the review!

I am glad you appreciated my OC so far, and I am happy I managed to intrigue you with this short premise... I would love to know what you think about the other chapters as well, but I am aware that this place is full of incredible stories and you won't have time to return to this fanfic of mine before Winter returns :).

Enjoy the sun, and thank you again!

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Review #10, by merlins beard Street Spirit

28th May 2015:
Hello again!

The end of this chapter made me tear up! Sirius found her!!! After all this time, and then by accident he just runs into her, and doesn't even realise. This is such a happy moment, even though they both don't know that yet. But i bet they feel it already, being drawn to the other in a way only family is. And Cassie definitely is family for sirius, the only family he's got besides harry.

I loved your explanation regarding the TV in your last reply. Thanks for going into detail.

I really should write more here, but I'm emotionally drained today. I promise I'll make up for it in the next review.


Author's Response: Hey there! Sorry for my delay in responding, Friday was a particularly intense day and yesterday I was so knackered I couldn't think about assembling more than four or five words in English!

Yess! Sirius found her! I had some doubts posting this part of the story so soon, because it may be an excessively quick turn of events... On the other hand, time will pass between this encounter and the... True encounter between Cassandra and Sirius, so I hope this will re-equilibrate things, so to say! :)

I'm glad you appreciated my explanation! I always love to read questions like that, they give me the possibility to go into detail and describe aspects of the story that didn't fit in the actual chapter!

Anyway, thank you for the review, and sorry again for my delay!

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Review #11, by merlins beard In Limbo

28th May 2015:
Hi again.
I'm still enjoying this a lot, it's a very interesting story. I don't think I've seen anything that compares to this yet.
There's one strange detail I was wondering about: the TV. Cassandra is broke and doesn't even have chair or table, why does she have a TV and where did it come from?

I love how her memories sneak up on her. You're introducing just the right amount of information at the right time. The flow of the story is just right, it's pace is neither too slow not too fast.

I can't wait to read the next chapter.


Author's Response: Hi again! I am glad you are still enjoying this story so far!

Regarding the TV... Even though Cassandra is a tough girl who grew up really fast she is still a teenager, who accidentally loves to fix things and, well... watch TV. Walking around her new neighbourhood she happened to find a hardware shop that offered an electric devices repairing service, but had recently become short of personnel. She entered, looked around, and found an old battered TV in desperate need to be fixed. She bought it for a couple of pennies out of curiosity, forgetting momentarily that she was, in fact, broke. Later on, the shopkeeper asked her if she had managed to see something in that thing, and at her positive answer decided to hire her as the official repairer of the shop. In the end she didn't manage to by a table, but she was still lucky enough to find a job ;).

I am so glad you like the flow of this story! I happen to be a freak for equilibrium in the creation of a piece of writing, so your praises are music for my ears!

Thank you again, I really can't wait to see what you think of the next update!


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Review #12, by merlins beard A Wolf at the Door

28th May 2015:
Hello! I finally managed to come read this. It has been on my reading list for quite a while.
The chapter pulled me right in, and I almost couldn't believe how fast I reached the bottom of the page. The story flows so naturally and reads very comfortably. It has just the right amount of details, and you worked the information the reader needs into the story very well. The way you told us about cassandra's past was interesting. I think her memories might be coming back! I love that you chose present tense for the dream and the thoughts of four year old Cassandra, and are telling what actually happens in the story in past tense. I love the contradiction.

Is cassandra a witch? Why didn't she get a Hogwarts letter? Or she did and her stepfather hid it? By the way, I really don't like him much.

I'll be back on the next chapter soon


Author's Response: Hi! Wow, you are one of the few "spontaneous" reviewers of this story! A thousand "thank yous" for stopping by!

I am glad you like the flow of the story! This first chapter is actually quite short if compared to the later ones, but I hope their length won't bore you in the future! I tried to hint at Cassandra's past more than to describe it briefly, mostly because I hoped it would add mystery to the plot. You'll see in the next updates that these visions of sort will be a recurrent theme throughout the story, providing my OC with hints and insights that will help her in dealing with the strange happenings that will cross her path.

I always love to be bombarded by questions, and I would be simply thrilled to answer them, but, unfortunately, I can't :(. No worries, though! The following chapters will solve many of the doubts this introduction has arisen.

Thank you again for the review, I'm looking forward to reading what you think of the other chapters!


PS: I don't like the Colonel either. Unfortunately for us, however, his time in this story is not exactly over yet...

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Review #13, by Flower n Prongs A Wolf at the Door

27th May 2015:
Hello. I saw on the forums that you only needed one review to hit the 90 milestone so I thought I would drop by to give it to you.

First and foremost, this is a really unique idea. You run the risk of having Cassandra appear as a Mary Sue by making her so smart, but she does not come off as one. You can already see her temper and that she is damaged not only from the war she has seen but her past & things she has long forgotten. Her being an emancipated minor gives her the freedom as a "Muggle" 17-year-old you will need and I am assuming the intelligence is for the same thing: so she can be considered a free adult in the wizarding world later.

The fact that she can recall Hogwarts's Great Hall in a far off sort of way, almost like it is a dream, is really interesting and helped to draw me in. Clearly she has a magical heritage she does not know about. The fact that she chooses the name "Lupin" as her surname without really thinking about it is very cool. She is already connected to Remus (who I happen to love) so I'm interested to see how he ties into her life/past.

There were a few minor spelling and grammar issues. Immediately after the dream sequence, "psycologist" should be "psychologist". Also, when she is thinking and you have it italicized you don't need the comma after the exclamation mark. With quotation marks, the period should be before the closing quotation marks. When she's talking to the Colonel, "influent family" should be "influential family" instead.

This is such a unique idea with a lot of potential. A very intriguing first chapter! =)

Author's Response: Oh, hallo Flower n Prongs! Thank you for stopping by and helping me reach this milestone!

I am so relieved you found my OC not as Mary Sueish as it could appear from the first lines. You are right in every observation you made: her intelligence will grant her independence in the next chapters, although I am afraid her body won't help her. I'm also glad you appreciated the fact that I introduced the magical world in a gradual way... the first chapters will be incredibly Muggle, but the connection with the Harry Potter world will always be clear.

Thank you for pointing out those errors. As I said far too many times, I am not mother-tongue, and this was my first attempt at writing a fictional piece in English. I still have a long way to go to finish this story, but when I'll end it I will go back and review everything, promise. :)

Thank you again! I don't know who you are on the forums, but don't hesitate to come back with more comments if you like the story! Reviews are always appreciated :)


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Review #14, by Gabriella Hunter A Reminder

25th May 2015:

This is Gabbie from the forums here with your review and its been a LONG time! I was wondering how you were doing and now I see that you've been updating this story like crazy! I have a lot to catch up on but I never forgot this story and was meaning to start back up but never had the time.

Anyway, it's good to be back with Cassie again, I was worried about her after that last chapter. I like that she's so in tune with the world around her, fascinated by the simple things and it makes me a little sad. There was a lot of her life that was taken from her and pushed down while she lived with the colonel and I hope that she'll be able to reconnect with it.

Also, your font is so tiny, it was a little hard to read! ;__;

The mysterious dog that Cassie rescues turns out to be Sirius and I was wondering when those two would meet up. I figured that their paths would cross again at some point but Cassie doesn't know who he is or what he used to be. I'm curious to see how that develops and what might happen next, Sirius has answers that she might need. Memories of her father and their friendship would help her along.

I liked the added flashbacks that you included, we get a deeper sense of Sirius and Remus's relationship with Cassie. It's still shrouded in mystery but I really enjoyed being reconnected to the three of them. That explosive argument between the friends was heart wrenching and I'm really eager to see where you go from here!

Much love,


Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you for stopping by!

I am glad you liked the chapter, and I am really sorry for the font problem! As you said I wrote a good deal of chapters after that one, and I forgot about the editing problems that I met in the first parts of the story. My shame, I will correct everything before someone else loses their eyes trying to read this!

Flashbacks will be a constant in this story... I thought they were a good way to hint about the past of my characters without having to write an introduction of sorts... I am happy you liked them!

Thank you again for the review, I'll check the following chapter for possible font problems and then I'll certainly re-request :)


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Review #15, by marissa lily potter A Wolf at the Door

18th April 2015:
Hey there!

That's a really unique twist you've put on your story. I'm not sure if Cassandra is related to Remus Lupin or not... but I think she might be. I wasn't quite clear on that and I'm really sorry if I made a mistake reading this, but I'm not quite sure of her relationship with Remus Lupin. Considering that the story summary indicates a Sirius/Cassandra relationship, I'm going to assume that she's around the same age as them. xD

Anyway, back to the story itself. I think it's a really interesting twist you've put on it! Combining the army and magic together is a unique thing to do and I can't say I've ever read a story like that before. I mean, I think it'll be interesting to see what kind of a person Cassandra is, especially after enduing army training. I know that's tough and I'm really interested to see the kind of person she is and how she changes when she finds out she's not a simple Muggle.

Cassandra's character was a bit... all over the place. I felt confused while reading this chapter and I understand that it's the first chapter so I'm hoping that it comes together soon! Her relationships with her "father" is interesting and terse, at best. I think that he's going to play an important role (or maybe not, what do I know? :P). Either way, I feel like he does have a lot to do with the kind of person she might be. The bit about where he said that she was just a tool for him made me so angry because it was very believable. There are a lot of people out there who use kids for their own means and it's not a widely travelled subject, but it's definitely good to see you tie it in here!

While the first chapter had me a little confused, it also had me intrigued and I'm looking forward to seeing how this comes together. Muggles finding out about magic is always one of my favourite parts about a fan fiction to read because everyone does it differently. I can't wait to see how you go about it!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to reviewing your chapter, but thank you for requesting! It was a pleasure reading this chapter. :)



Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review, and don't worry about the delay... As you see, I am not very good at responding in time too! ;)

I am glad this first chapter intrigued you! I admit that, after 21 chapters, there are many things I would like to change in it, mostly regarding language and grammar, but I am happy you appreciated it even though it confused you a bit! Actually, this first introduction was meant to be not too revealing... I really don't like when an author tells everything about a character in the first ten lines of a story, it takes away all the pleasure in reading a certain work... I promise that in the next chapters lots of things will be explained, but I will maintain a regular pace, not too quick.

Regarding pairings, characters' age etc... I am afraid I can't tell you a lot, apart from the fact that when I started writing this, my idea of the outcome of this story was a tad bit different from what it came out to be... I actually stopped at a point and asked myself: "What happened?!". So, well... The romantic side of this story may be reeeally different from what I had originally thought. I'll leave to you the pleasure of finding out what I mean :)

Thanks again, I'll certainly re-request :)

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Review #16, by Microwaved Marshmallow Peep A Wolf at the Door

5th April 2015:
peep peep

It is I, a pink marshmallow Peep, here to give you a review on Easter Sunday!

Cassandra is such an interesting and complex character! I applaud you for drawing a portrait of such a complicated mind, with what seems like a tragic past. You gave just enough information to keep me interested while I sit in this cold microwave, and reading this chapter helped to fight off my boredom (because there's really nothing to do in a microwave, you know, except to sit here).

Oooh, Colonel Wilkins makes me sooo mad! Is it getting hot in here because of my anger, or am I imagining things? No...Someone turned the microwave on, darn it!

Anyway, how dare he try to tell Cassandra that she disappointed him! He might call her "daughter," but he has no right to do that. Ugh, thank you for making me hate a character as much as I hate this guy. He's really awful, especially for trying to marry Cassandra off to someone she doesn't want to marry.


Uh oh, my time is running out. But I would like to reiterate that you've made a brilliant start with this chapter. If I were able to live past this moment, I would certainly read on. But alas, the life of a Peep is fleeting...

Microwaved Marshmallow Peep

*muffled explosions*

Author's Response: Oh, my dear darling! You are one of my first reviews in MONTHS! And you are a marshmallow. I love marshmallows.

Anyway, thank you for your really nice words, especially since you found Cassandra a complicated soul, which is exactly the goal I wanted to reach.

Oh, dear! I am so sorry for your explosion! It must be quite the uncomfortable experience. I have to admit, part of my sadness for your loss is that I won't have a nice marshmallow like you to review the other 20-and-counting chapters of this story. But of course, I am mostly distraught for the disappearance of such a soft, sugary sweet caused by the cruel activation of that bad microwave.

I hope you'll be happy in the Paradise of the Marshmallows.

Thanks again,

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Review #17, by Chazzie You And Whose Army

4th April 2015:

First off, this chapter was amazing. Don't you dare start putting yourself down. To be able to write at this level in a language that is not your mother tongue is bloody impressive. I know for a fact that I would not be able to convey my thoughts even half so well in French, my next best written language, as you do in English. You are brilliant, okay? Okay.

Now, next things. I really enjoyed the letters that Andromeda wrote to Minerva. It was really cool to read, and I was impressed with myself at little bits of Italian I was able to work out. Minerva's internal monologue here was really interesting. I love how you chose to connect the two characters because it seems such a realistic thing for them to do. I can't wait to read about them together!

Wilkins, well I am really fuming at him. He is a despicable person, and I really cannot believe that anyone would willingly do such horrible things to Cassie. Neffie was adorable in this scene though, and I loved her changing colours again.

The final section between Severus and Remus was really nail-biting. I kept waiting for one of them to snap. And my, you do love to break my heart. Those poor boys all had terrible childhoods. The worst part of it is that because of their horrible youths, Cassie and Harry ended up having broken childhoods too :'(

I will never abandon you. Pinkie promise. I'm really glad that you are going to see this through though. If you would like me to, then once you have completed this (and depending on what free time I have when you do) I would love to go back and Beta for you. Because your story is amazing, and people should read it. It saddens me that they don't carry on just because of little errors. Especially because your ideas are so unique and interesting.

As always, I loved this. Great job Mary!


Author's Response: Hi! Sorry if it took me so much to respond, I had a difficult exam to take and... Well, you know. Anyway, thank you for your wonderful words. You are the only reader that has not stopped reviewing my story so far, and your comments fuel my imagination. I am honoured by your offer to beta this story when it'll be over, and, if it is not too much disturb, I'd love to accept it.

I'm glad you liked the letters and the connections between the characters! I was afraid the different language would have made the whole thing too... boring.

The Severus-Remus interaction is one of my least favourite parts of this chapter, so I am pleasantly surprised by your reaction to it :D . I wrote it because, well... I wanted both to develop Snape character and explain briefly why a group of intelligent, brave, good people like the Marauders had felt the need to harass a student so badly. Personally I find it hard to think that they were simply dumb, spoiled teenagers who had stupidly targeted a boy because "he existed". I will not condone their actions, so as I do not condone bullism, but as I mention in the story, Snape had his own faults. They were all equally innocent and guilty at the same time.

Thanks to your constant presence and help, a bunch of new ideas and characters have emerged from the depths of my brain. This story will get much more complicated than I had imagined a year ago. I had started this with the intention of making it a simple Sirius/OC. But now it is more than that. I don't even know if there will be a Sirius/OC anymore. I just know that there will be lots of new chapters in the future, and I will try to make this story as... "new" as it can be. All thanks to you, darling.

The next chapter is ready, I just need to split it in two... Try and guess what'll happen!

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Review #18, by Chazzie Lucky

28th March 2015:
Mary, my darling. I'm sorry for not getting round to reviewing because of exams and Quiddich and everything else. I am here now, to try and make up a little for that.

I loved Andromeda's point of view, she was so medically minded and interesting to read. My heart broke for her, and for Cassie, with all they had to deal with. Amal trying to take over really made me panic. I had a tight feeling in my chest, worrying about Cassandra. You are amazing at doing that - evoking such strong emotions in your reader. The word choice here was excellent too, because you portrayed a real sense of urgency which matched the pace.

Tonks was very well written. I love hearing about her. You developed the other characters brilliantly through how she sees them, and I thought her internal monologue was great. I hate Wilkins even more now, he really is an awful person. Dumbledore was really cannonly done, congratulations with that. I'm really interested to see what happens now.

The final section was amazing. Your dream/memory sections are always a pleasure to read because you write them so well. All in all, I loved the chapter and can't wait for the next one.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. I have been really a bad author and a substantially non-existent presence on this website lately, and it pains me to admit so. I will try to get back on track, I still love my story and my characters, but I am not as optimistic as I was when I started writing.

You know, you are actually the first person in months to praise me for my word choice! I know I am Italian and that I am certainly not an absolute expert of the English language, but really, I was starting to think that thirteen years of studying had been completely useless...

Anyway, before I start rambling about my writing misery and how you managed to lift my spirit, I'd better cut this short and thank you with all my heart for this comment. I will leave you with the promise that, in a couple of days, a new chapter will be added to this story.

Thank you again


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Review #19, by toomoony Lucky

12th December 2014:
Hi! It's toomoony here with your review.

Honestly, this is such an amazing story. I really have never read anything like it. I know I mentioned earlier that AUs were not my comfort zone, but this story really impressed me and made me want to read more AU in the future.

Your character is so unique and diverse. It's very common for writers to create these "Mary Sues" that are too perfect and they don't have any raw vulnerablility, but Cassie is the complete opposite. She is so real and you took a risk by having this character have so many amazing ablilities by including this side of imperfection to her. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

The only criticism I have really is just grammar and spelling errors (which happen to the best of us). Some sentences come across as a bit awkward sounding and when you have the conversations between Amal and Cassie, you should try different formatting just to make it clear who is talking. It would help a lot with the clarity of those situations. Another note, Hogwarts is spelled incorrectly throughout your story, it's not a huge deal, but it can be a little distracting when such an important and well-known place is spelled wrong consistantly.

But overall, a really awesome story. I love it. You have such a great imagination and the uniqueness of this story is just above and beyond any fic I have ever read. You did a great job.

Happy Writing!!

toomoony xx

Author's Response: Hey there! Sorry for my awful delay in responding, these last months have been hectic, and I needed to take a pause from HPFF for a while.

I am SO glad you liked Cassandra's character. I read far too many reviews to the first chapter in which the readers complained about her being a Mary Sue, and I can understand them, because she initially looks like one. Every time I read those critics I ask the reviewer to be patient, to go on reading and see if their opinion is still the same at the end of the story, but most of the time this doesn't happen, and it saddens me to no end. I wondered about changing the first chapter, but it wouldn't make much sense: the point of a novel is to let the characters show their various sides slowly, gradually. Filling the first part of the story with an overdose of information would be boring and useless, at least in my opinion. I'm happy you had the patience to keep reading and that, in the end, you appreciated my OC's complexity :).

As I probably mentioned in my request, I am not mother tongue, and I started writing in English only recently. A couple of weeks ago I re-read the first chapters and I saw some of the mistakes or "odd phrasing" you are probably talking about, but I am not entirely sure I found them all. When I finish this story I will go back and do a massive edit, with the help of an incredibly kind member of the forum who has offered me her help as a beta. As for the Hogwarts thing... A particularly "flaming" reviewer has already pointed the mistake a couple of months ago, and I've already corrected it in one of the chapters, in which I had written that name wrong a dozen of times. I am deeply ashamed of this mistake, and I am doing my best not to repeating it ever again.

Thank you again for the review, and I hope you won't mind if I re-request :)

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Review #20, by Moonyxluna Go to Sleep

10th December 2014:
Hey I'm here with your requested review!

Sirius' panicking at the beginning of the chapter was very sweet. Because it is seemingly impossible that the girl happens to be Cassandra, but there she is! It almost feels as if it's written from the dog - the Padfoot - side of his, with the 'oh my gods' and how excited he gets. It's a cute touch :D

Ah, the shift of emotions from the doggy love to the changing bandages was really sad! Sirius sees that she grew up way too quickly, and it's really heartbreaking how mechanical she is about the cuts and stitches.

McGonagall's section with Remus! Oh god, what a state he's let himself get into after years of being away! Remus' characterization was a bit haunting, that he's let himself go feral, almost, without the structure of Hogwarts. I really liked McGonagall's characterization here, but the only thing I have a little problem with is a few of her parts of dialogue. For example:

"No, uhm... Well, actually Albus sent me. - I think at this point, she's become a little bit more comfortable with Remus, and wouldn't be unsure in her sentence. It just doesn't really feel like it fits, the unsure tone.

You should capitalize 'Muggle' - more or less, anything that JKR has invented :)

The couple sat in silence for a long time -- I think the word 'pair' would sound a little better here. I also mentioned this previously, but this chapter has that small font here that makes it hard to read.

I took a guess in my head that she was visiting to try to fill the Defense Against the Dark Arts spot at the school, and I was right! I always love these missing moments when they're written into stories.

Ah.. Remus? Please, shave.- hahah! I love it. (You don't need the comma after please, though.)

I noticed a few spelling/punctuation errors here and there, such as missing commas, but I think a read-over would clear those up. I also saw 'Hogwarst' a few times, but your explanation (from a previous review) makes total sense! (I took a year of Italian in high school, and the 'ch' vs 'c' sounds still mixes me up in pronunciation. hehe.)

I loved the progression of the plot here on both sides of the story. Things are getting interesting now! Can't wait to see what happens next!


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Review #21, by wolfgirl17 A Wolf at the Door

4th December 2014:

Here with your requested review!

So you've laid the foundations here for what I expect will be a long and intricate plot. I'm certainly intrigued by the idea, though I have to admit I'm not a huge fan of AU. Sometimes AU can be great, but other times it just leaves me wondering why the authors don't just write the tale as Original fiction and post it on fiction . net or some other site like that...

Anyway, you've got quite a few spelling a grammar issues in here, thought I expected it because you said English isn't your first language. You've definitely got some issues though. You've got quite a few words and sentences that use the wrong tense to make the story really flow. I'm positive it's just because they are the nuances of the language and they can be confusing at times, even for native English speakers. Not to mention that Italian changes the word while English uses the same word but tacks on bits. Sometimes it's hard to remember which bit to use. =)

You should try to work on editing them though, because they do make the story a little clunky. Sometimes you're spot on, but other times the sentence just reads like a bumpy road. For example;

"You have ruined EVERYTHING! Now I won't be able to look Colonel Anderson in the eye, and you KNOW how much he is important for my career."

In this sentence, it would make more sense and make the story flow a little smoother, if you were to instead write;

"You have ruined EVERYTHING! Now I won't be able to look Colonel Anderson in the eye, and you KNOW how important he is to the progression of my career."

Do you see how it's just a little more intricate but reads in a way that is smoother and less clunky than the original?

Another example, for spelling this time would be;

"scowling when she discovered who was the responsible of the desapearance of that beautiful ceiling"

It's spelled, DISAPPEARANCE. Just for future reference.

And I know you were really worried about requesting a review from me because I'm such a grammar Nazi, but it really does make a difference to the story as a whole and while it's highly commendable of you to be writing a story in a second language, it does pay to make sure you at least use a spell checker for things like that last one. The wrong word or word tense in a sentence can be overlooked because that's harder in a second language, but spell checkers are standard and can be set to any language you need it to be to make sure everything is correct. =)

Anyway, I hope I haven't come across as pushy or growly or anything, because it's not my intent. You mentioned in your AoC that you wanted to improve your language skills and wanted to do an edit in the future, so hopefully things like this will help.

However, I do like Cassandra. She seems like this odd blend of maturity and childishness, strength and vulnerability. Kudos on writing such a complex character and having it show through right form the get go. I'm intrigued by the plot too. For example, the wolf attack that she suffered, I can't work out if it happened when she was a child or if it was recent. It starts off as her being a child, but then she also had some kind of accident that is the cause of Wilkins disowning her since she's supposedly no longer attractive.

I'm super curious about the Lupin bit too. Is she choosing Lupin because it's a known werewolf name? Because she's a werewolf? Because she was attacked as a child or perhaps as an adult? Or was this her surname before it was changed to Wilkins when she was 4. You've certainly left me with a lot of questions.

And I've rambled on now. Anyway, I hope this was helpful. Let me know if you'd like me to review your other chapters/stories.

XX- Wolfgirl

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

It may not seem from the amount of AUs I read/ write about, but I do understand what you mean when you say that not all AUs are good. Sometimes they have absolutely nothing to do with JK's world, and it can get annoying. However, I must admit that this is one of my favourite genres, mostly because my first, unwritten fanfictions were all about alternative ending and what ifs. I do believe in the importance of maintaining the original structure of the story, though, and if you'll be so kind to continue reading and reviewing this story, you'll understand what I mean. The first two chapters of this work are mostly Cassandra's introduction, but from the third chapter onwards you'll see that this whole story has a much deeper connection to the world of Harry Potter than it may initially seem.

I understand your irritation at finding typos in the chapter, and I am deeply sorry for that. I did use a spell checker, but it wasn't the best... It didn't help that, at the time this chapter was written, my computer was set to "Italian" as regards to the automatic correction, so sometimes the server changed my own corrections, messing up horribly. I am fairly sure I'll be able to deal with most of the spelling issues you found in the chapter (thank you for pointing them out, by the way), but what really worries me is the amount of sentences and words I use in a wrong way without noticing. I do know how "disappearance" is spelled, but I certainly didn't think about how the sentence you quoted could have sounded to the ears of a mother tongue reader. Well, probably I even did, but... You see, at school we were taught that: "English writers do not use long sentences or too many adjectives!". which is probably true if you compare a JK Rowling's book to a novel written by Calvino or D'Annunzio. Knowing this, I've always tried to "keep things short", sometimes failing miserably. The sentence you rightfully corrected was short enough, so I thought it would have been ok. I was clearly wrong, and I truly appreciate your advice. Your suggestions will be all used in the gigantic editing that will take place during the break, and I will try to think as an English as much as possible :P

I am glad you liked, well... something of this chapter, Eheh ;). I am extra-careful with the creation of my characters, because I want them to be as real, and thus complicated, as possible. As you guessed from this first introduction, the story will be highly detailed and the plot very intricate. I won't rush things, because I simply hate when the rhythm of a story is too quick or rushed, so there will be a good deal of mystery in the next updates.

Anyway, thank you again for the review! I will certainly re-request, just... tell me if you don't want me to, alright? I don't want to impose or anything :).

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Review #22, by moonbaby11 In Limbo

3rd December 2014:
And here's your second review!

I really loved the parallels between how Cassandra used to look and how she looks now. Her original appearance seems flawless, and is almost bordering on Mary Sue, but I like how you have twisted it around. As I said in my previous review, you don't often see characters with physical disabilities and deformities like scars, and I think it's really important to have main characters that aren't just conventional beauties.

I don't think I've ever seen a Sirius/OC story set in the Hogwarts era, and I'm excited to see how this is going to play out. You seem to have a really original idea on your hands, and I applaud you for coming up with something like this.

All of the information about Cassandra's backstory that continues to come forward is very intriguing. You've done a good job of supplying enough information that I felt like the plot was moving, but not too much to give everything away all at once. You seem to be good at balancing things like that, which isn't always the easiest thing to do.

Overall, I think you have two solid chapters on your hands here. There really isn't anything negative that I have to say about them, so good job. I'd definitely be willing to read and review more, so don't be afraid to drop by and rerequest!

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Review #23, by moonbaby11 A Wolf at the Door

3rd December 2014:
Hey, I'm here with your reviews!

This chapter was interesting. It definitely set up the story, as well as providing enough background information about the characters to not only keep the reader intrigued about their future, but also intrigue them about their past. That's definitely something that you want to establish in the first couple of chapters to keep your readers hooked, and I can honestly say that I already can't wait to read the next chapter!

Cassandra seems like a very interesting character, what with her physical disability (something I've only seen very rarely in stories) and the fact that she is gifted. The mention of a wolf attack has me thinking that it might be a werewolf, especially with the way that you ended this chapter.

I think it's always hard to review the first chapter of a longer work because it is really only setting up the plot and never seems to have much action or anything like that (hopefully I'm making sense). Regardless of that, I think you've done a good job with what you have here. I think I sort of have a feeling for where you are going with this, and I have to admit that I am excited!

There are a couple small spelling errors in this chapter, so I would suggest perhaps looking it over to see if you can spot anything. It was nothing major, but I know that spelling mistakes are something that normally bring me out of the flow of a story. Other than that, I think you've done a great job with introducing everything here and I can't wait to check out chapter 2!

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Review #24, by Chazzie Let Down

29th November 2014:
Mary, that was fantastic!
I was really interested by the way everyone treats each other in this chapter. You can see the distrust flowing between some of them, and I liked your portrayal of Shacklebolt. It was different to how he usually comes across in fanfiction, which was refreshing.
Amal was really angry with Cassie. I felt so sad for them both, because they need to get better but shouting won't help either.
Andromedea is quite difficult to figure out. I know she is a Slytherin and so she would naturally be quite stoic and such, but I don't know how much she trusts in Cassie. I don't quite know how much I trust Cassie at the moment, because she seems to be trying far too hard to not believe she is ill. I'm a little bit worried for her.
I loved that Neffie changes colour when she feels extreme emotions. That was a brilliant idea.
Ah, the cliffhanger D: things are getting very interesting in the Wizarding world. Can't wait to see what you have planned next, and I will certainly check out your other story too.


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your review!

I'm glad you liked the chapter! During my incredibly long period of pause in writing I realised things were getting a bit slow, and that it was time for some action. That's why I decided to "push the bottom forward", so to say, and set this update three weeks later than the previous one. I was afraid the time skip would have been too much, I'm glad the result was relatively smooth :).

Shacklebolt... Truth be told, I never read much about him. I just grasped the general elements of his character and went along with them, trying to make him as realistic as possible. I could have invented a new character, coming to think of it, but I don't like to add too OC in a fanfic... It gets. confusing. But anyway, the important thing is that you liked his portrayal, and I'm so glad you liked him!!

Regarding Amal and Cassandra... they are a bit of a mess, aren't they? The wolf is by all means a cub, and she simply cannot deal with complicated facts and emotions. They freak her out, in the worst way possible. Cassandra is a "cub" too, no matter her constant attempts at hiding it. It's curious how different her character is from the original idea in my mind. Well, I have to say, I imagined her as a utter Mary Sue. A true soldier, an adult in everything but her age. Then I started writing, and... Here I have a teenager with the mask of a soldier plastered on her face! :) I'm glad you like her too, and yeah... You should be worried for her. But I guess you'll find out in the next chapter :P

Anyway, I'll stop ranting, otherwise I would probably end up spoiling all the new events. An LOTS of things will happen. Explanations will be given too, so... Stay tuned!

Thanks again,


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Review #25, by marauderfan Street Spirit

27th November 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review! :) Since you didn't specify any Areas of Concern, this may turn into an unstructured ramble, hopefully it will still help :p

I loved the switch in POV and how you told those key points of Prisoner of Azkaban from Sirius's perspective - that was really cool to see. Particularly the bit about bravery - I imagine he was probably terrified in Azkaban. And the way you wrote him in his Animagus form was really cool too, I enjoyed seeing that unique perspective and the things that he focuses on as a dog (like smells, and small rodents in the forest!)

I'm assuming the girl at the end was Cassandra. Sirius did seem to find both her and HArry, the two people he was looking for, very quickly. But it seems almost too fast, because how easy would it be to find people that you've heard nothing about for thirteen years? I think you could benefit from adding a paragraph just about him wandering lost for a while - it would help reinforce how much time he took to find the people he was searching for (because right now, it doesn't seem like he had to try that hard, apart from being hungry.)

Your descriptions of London are so great though - the street performers, food in bins behind the pubs, you've really brought it to life and I love the details you chose to express in order to create such a vibrant scene, especially in contrast to the dark memories and doom of Azkaban. So altogether wonderful job with the settings.

I know you have mentioned that English is not your first language and for that I'm really impressed that your writing is so good! I did see a couple of areas where the word choice did not quite fit though:

kept searching her in the magical world -- kept searching for her

also, like in the previous chapter you used the word 'organism' where I think it would work better to say 'body', as organism is a much more scientific term for an individual life form. (False cognates are so tricky! :P)

Anyway, overall it's an excellent chapter, great work!

Author's Response: Hi! thank you so much for your review!

I am so glad you overall liked this chapter! I will certainly try and add a paragraph to "slow things down" a bit... Technically, in fact, Sirius spent weeks wandering and running around, because, as you rightfully said, it would have been too easy to find both Harry and Cassandra in a matter of days. I didn't specify this enough, surely, but that's because this chapter is written according to Sirius' POV: after twelve years unable to distinguish night from day, or winter from summer, the man probably had an altered concept of time. The adrenaline caused by the sheer desire to find Harry and Cassandra somehow made him feel like the days were "running faster", if that makes sense, and I wanted to convey this exact feeling by accelerating the rhythm of the chapter. I'm sorry that I failed in this particular element, and, as I said, I will try to fix everything.

Thank you for pointing out that mistake! I will fix that too, together with all those "organisms" I spread all over the first chapters of this story :D ! I was thinking about replacing the word with "system", as a way of referring to the circulatory system and the tissues connected to it. Would that be correct too?

Anyway, sorry for pestering you with vocabulary questions :P ! I want to thank you again for your review, and I hope you don't mind if I re-request :).

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