Reading Reviews for The Lost Wolf
88 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marissa lily potter A Wolf at the Door

18th April 2015:
Hey there!

That's a really unique twist you've put on your story. I'm not sure if Cassandra is related to Remus Lupin or not... but I think she might be. I wasn't quite clear on that and I'm really sorry if I made a mistake reading this, but I'm not quite sure of her relationship with Remus Lupin. Considering that the story summary indicates a Sirius/Cassandra relationship, I'm going to assume that she's around the same age as them. xD

Anyway, back to the story itself. I think it's a really interesting twist you've put on it! Combining the army and magic together is a unique thing to do and I can't say I've ever read a story like that before. I mean, I think it'll be interesting to see what kind of a person Cassandra is, especially after enduing army training. I know that's tough and I'm really interested to see the kind of person she is and how she changes when she finds out she's not a simple Muggle.

Cassandra's character was a bit... all over the place. I felt confused while reading this chapter and I understand that it's the first chapter so I'm hoping that it comes together soon! Her relationships with her "father" is interesting and terse, at best. I think that he's going to play an important role (or maybe not, what do I know? :P). Either way, I feel like he does have a lot to do with the kind of person she might be. The bit about where he said that she was just a tool for him made me so angry because it was very believable. There are a lot of people out there who use kids for their own means and it's not a widely travelled subject, but it's definitely good to see you tie it in here!

While the first chapter had me a little confused, it also had me intrigued and I'm looking forward to seeing how this comes together. Muggles finding out about magic is always one of my favourite parts about a fan fiction to read because everyone does it differently. I can't wait to see how you go about it!

I'm so sorry it took me so long to get to reviewing your chapter, but thank you for requesting! It was a pleasure reading this chapter. :)



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Review #2, by Microwaved Marshmallow Peep A Wolf at the Door

5th April 2015:
peep peep

It is I, a pink marshmallow Peep, here to give you a review on Easter Sunday!

Cassandra is such an interesting and complex character! I applaud you for drawing a portrait of such a complicated mind, with what seems like a tragic past. You gave just enough information to keep me interested while I sit in this cold microwave, and reading this chapter helped to fight off my boredom (because there's really nothing to do in a microwave, you know, except to sit here).

Oooh, Colonel Wilkins makes me sooo mad! Is it getting hot in here because of my anger, or am I imagining things? No...Someone turned the microwave on, darn it!

Anyway, how dare he try to tell Cassandra that she disappointed him! He might call her "daughter," but he has no right to do that. Ugh, thank you for making me hate a character as much as I hate this guy. He's really awful, especially for trying to marry Cassandra off to someone she doesn't want to marry.


Uh oh, my time is running out. But I would like to reiterate that you've made a brilliant start with this chapter. If I were able to live past this moment, I would certainly read on. But alas, the life of a Peep is fleeting...

Microwaved Marshmallow Peep

*muffled explosions*

Author's Response: Oh, my dear darling! You are one of my first reviews in MONTHS! And you are a marshmallow. I love marshmallows.

Anyway, thank you for your really nice words, especially since you found Cassandra a complicated soul, which is exactly the goal I wanted to reach.

Oh, dear! I am so sorry for your explosion! It must be quite the uncomfortable experience. I have to admit, part of my sadness for your loss is that I won't have a nice marshmallow like you to review the other 20-and-counting chapters of this story. But of course, I am mostly distraught for the disappearance of such a soft, sugary sweet caused by the cruel activation of that bad microwave.

I hope you'll be happy in the Paradise of the Marshmallows.

Thanks again,

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Review #3, by Chazzie You And Whose Army

4th April 2015:

First off, this chapter was amazing. Don't you dare start putting yourself down. To be able to write at this level in a language that is not your mother tongue is bloody impressive. I know for a fact that I would not be able to convey my thoughts even half so well in French, my next best written language, as you do in English. You are brilliant, okay? Okay.

Now, next things. I really enjoyed the letters that Andromeda wrote to Minerva. It was really cool to read, and I was impressed with myself at little bits of Italian I was able to work out. Minerva's internal monologue here was really interesting. I love how you chose to connect the two characters because it seems such a realistic thing for them to do. I can't wait to read about them together!

Wilkins, well I am really fuming at him. He is a despicable person, and I really cannot believe that anyone would willingly do such horrible things to Cassie. Neffie was adorable in this scene though, and I loved her changing colours again.

The final section between Severus and Remus was really nail-biting. I kept waiting for one of them to snap. And my, you do love to break my heart. Those poor boys all had terrible childhoods. The worst part of it is that because of their horrible youths, Cassie and Harry ended up having broken childhoods too :'(

I will never abandon you. Pinkie promise. I'm really glad that you are going to see this through though. If you would like me to, then once you have completed this (and depending on what free time I have when you do) I would love to go back and Beta for you. Because your story is amazing, and people should read it. It saddens me that they don't carry on just because of little errors. Especially because your ideas are so unique and interesting.

As always, I loved this. Great job Mary!


Author's Response: Hi! Sorry if it took me so much to respond, I had a difficult exam to take and... Well, you know. Anyway, thank you for your wonderful words. You are the only reader that has not stopped reviewing my story so far, and your comments fuel my imagination. I am honoured by your offer to beta this story when it'll be over, and, if it is not too much disturb, I'd love to accept it.

I'm glad you liked the letters and the connections between the characters! I was afraid the different language would have made the whole thing too... boring.

The Severus-Remus interaction is one of my least favourite parts of this chapter, so I am pleasantly surprised by your reaction to it :D . I wrote it because, well... I wanted both to develop Snape character and explain briefly why a group of intelligent, brave, good people like the Marauders had felt the need to harass a student so badly. Personally I find it hard to think that they were simply dumb, spoiled teenagers who had stupidly targeted a boy because "he existed". I will not condone their actions, so as I do not condone bullism, but as I mention in the story, Snape had his own faults. They were all equally innocent and guilty at the same time.

Thanks to your constant presence and help, a bunch of new ideas and characters have emerged from the depths of my brain. This story will get much more complicated than I had imagined a year ago. I had started this with the intention of making it a simple Sirius/OC. But now it is more than that. I don't even know if there will be a Sirius/OC anymore. I just know that there will be lots of new chapters in the future, and I will try to make this story as... "new" as it can be. All thanks to you, darling.

The next chapter is ready, I just need to split it in two... Try and guess what'll happen!

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Review #4, by Chazzie Lucky

28th March 2015:
Mary, my darling. I'm sorry for not getting round to reviewing because of exams and Quiddich and everything else. I am here now, to try and make up a little for that.

I loved Andromeda's point of view, she was so medically minded and interesting to read. My heart broke for her, and for Cassie, with all they had to deal with. Amal trying to take over really made me panic. I had a tight feeling in my chest, worrying about Cassandra. You are amazing at doing that - evoking such strong emotions in your reader. The word choice here was excellent too, because you portrayed a real sense of urgency which matched the pace.

Tonks was very well written. I love hearing about her. You developed the other characters brilliantly through how she sees them, and I thought her internal monologue was great. I hate Wilkins even more now, he really is an awful person. Dumbledore was really cannonly done, congratulations with that. I'm really interested to see what happens now.

The final section was amazing. Your dream/memory sections are always a pleasure to read because you write them so well. All in all, I loved the chapter and can't wait for the next one.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review. I have been really a bad author and a substantially non-existent presence on this website lately, and it pains me to admit so. I will try to get back on track, I still love my story and my characters, but I am not as optimistic as I was when I started writing.

You know, you are actually the first person in months to praise me for my word choice! I know I am Italian and that I am certainly not an absolute expert of the English language, but really, I was starting to think that thirteen years of studying had been completely useless...

Anyway, before I start rambling about my writing misery and how you managed to lift my spirit, I'd better cut this short and thank you with all my heart for this comment. I will leave you with the promise that, in a couple of days, a new chapter will be added to this story.

Thank you again


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Review #5, by toomoony Lucky

12th December 2014:
Hi! It's toomoony here with your review.

Honestly, this is such an amazing story. I really have never read anything like it. I know I mentioned earlier that AUs were not my comfort zone, but this story really impressed me and made me want to read more AU in the future.

Your character is so unique and diverse. It's very common for writers to create these "Mary Sues" that are too perfect and they don't have any raw vulnerablility, but Cassie is the complete opposite. She is so real and you took a risk by having this character have so many amazing ablilities by including this side of imperfection to her. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

The only criticism I have really is just grammar and spelling errors (which happen to the best of us). Some sentences come across as a bit awkward sounding and when you have the conversations between Amal and Cassie, you should try different formatting just to make it clear who is talking. It would help a lot with the clarity of those situations. Another note, Hogwarts is spelled incorrectly throughout your story, it's not a huge deal, but it can be a little distracting when such an important and well-known place is spelled wrong consistantly.

But overall, a really awesome story. I love it. You have such a great imagination and the uniqueness of this story is just above and beyond any fic I have ever read. You did a great job.

Happy Writing!!

toomoony xx

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Review #6, by Moonyxluna Go to Sleep

10th December 2014:
Hey I'm here with your requested review!

Sirius' panicking at the beginning of the chapter was very sweet. Because it is seemingly impossible that the girl happens to be Cassandra, but there she is! It almost feels as if it's written from the dog - the Padfoot - side of his, with the 'oh my gods' and how excited he gets. It's a cute touch :D

Ah, the shift of emotions from the doggy love to the changing bandages was really sad! Sirius sees that she grew up way too quickly, and it's really heartbreaking how mechanical she is about the cuts and stitches.

McGonagall's section with Remus! Oh god, what a state he's let himself get into after years of being away! Remus' characterization was a bit haunting, that he's let himself go feral, almost, without the structure of Hogwarts. I really liked McGonagall's characterization here, but the only thing I have a little problem with is a few of her parts of dialogue. For example:

"No, uhm... Well, actually Albus sent me. - I think at this point, she's become a little bit more comfortable with Remus, and wouldn't be unsure in her sentence. It just doesn't really feel like it fits, the unsure tone.

You should capitalize 'Muggle' - more or less, anything that JKR has invented :)

The couple sat in silence for a long time -- I think the word 'pair' would sound a little better here. I also mentioned this previously, but this chapter has that small font here that makes it hard to read.

I took a guess in my head that she was visiting to try to fill the Defense Against the Dark Arts spot at the school, and I was right! I always love these missing moments when they're written into stories.

Ah.. Remus? Please, shave.- hahah! I love it. (You don't need the comma after please, though.)

I noticed a few spelling/punctuation errors here and there, such as missing commas, but I think a read-over would clear those up. I also saw 'Hogwarst' a few times, but your explanation (from a previous review) makes total sense! (I took a year of Italian in high school, and the 'ch' vs 'c' sounds still mixes me up in pronunciation. hehe.)

I loved the progression of the plot here on both sides of the story. Things are getting interesting now! Can't wait to see what happens next!


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Review #7, by wolfgirl17 A Wolf at the Door

4th December 2014:

Here with your requested review!

So you've laid the foundations here for what I expect will be a long and intricate plot. I'm certainly intrigued by the idea, though I have to admit I'm not a huge fan of AU. Sometimes AU can be great, but other times it just leaves me wondering why the authors don't just write the tale as Original fiction and post it on fiction . net or some other site like that...

Anyway, you've got quite a few spelling a grammar issues in here, thought I expected it because you said English isn't your first language. You've definitely got some issues though. You've got quite a few words and sentences that use the wrong tense to make the story really flow. I'm positive it's just because they are the nuances of the language and they can be confusing at times, even for native English speakers. Not to mention that Italian changes the word while English uses the same word but tacks on bits. Sometimes it's hard to remember which bit to use. =)

You should try to work on editing them though, because they do make the story a little clunky. Sometimes you're spot on, but other times the sentence just reads like a bumpy road. For example;

"You have ruined EVERYTHING! Now I won't be able to look Colonel Anderson in the eye, and you KNOW how much he is important for my career."

In this sentence, it would make more sense and make the story flow a little smoother, if you were to instead write;

"You have ruined EVERYTHING! Now I won't be able to look Colonel Anderson in the eye, and you KNOW how important he is to the progression of my career."

Do you see how it's just a little more intricate but reads in a way that is smoother and less clunky than the original?

Another example, for spelling this time would be;

"scowling when she discovered who was the responsible of the desapearance of that beautiful ceiling"

It's spelled, DISAPPEARANCE. Just for future reference.

And I know you were really worried about requesting a review from me because I'm such a grammar Nazi, but it really does make a difference to the story as a whole and while it's highly commendable of you to be writing a story in a second language, it does pay to make sure you at least use a spell checker for things like that last one. The wrong word or word tense in a sentence can be overlooked because that's harder in a second language, but spell checkers are standard and can be set to any language you need it to be to make sure everything is correct. =)

Anyway, I hope I haven't come across as pushy or growly or anything, because it's not my intent. You mentioned in your AoC that you wanted to improve your language skills and wanted to do an edit in the future, so hopefully things like this will help.

However, I do like Cassandra. She seems like this odd blend of maturity and childishness, strength and vulnerability. Kudos on writing such a complex character and having it show through right form the get go. I'm intrigued by the plot too. For example, the wolf attack that she suffered, I can't work out if it happened when she was a child or if it was recent. It starts off as her being a child, but then she also had some kind of accident that is the cause of Wilkins disowning her since she's supposedly no longer attractive.

I'm super curious about the Lupin bit too. Is she choosing Lupin because it's a known werewolf name? Because she's a werewolf? Because she was attacked as a child or perhaps as an adult? Or was this her surname before it was changed to Wilkins when she was 4. You've certainly left me with a lot of questions.

And I've rambled on now. Anyway, I hope this was helpful. Let me know if you'd like me to review your other chapters/stories.

XX- Wolfgirl

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

It may not seem from the amount of AUs I read/ write about, but I do understand what you mean when you say that not all AUs are good. Sometimes they have absolutely nothing to do with JK's world, and it can get annoying. However, I must admit that this is one of my favourite genres, mostly because my first, unwritten fanfictions were all about alternative ending and what ifs. I do believe in the importance of maintaining the original structure of the story, though, and if you'll be so kind to continue reading and reviewing this story, you'll understand what I mean. The first two chapters of this work are mostly Cassandra's introduction, but from the third chapter onwards you'll see that this whole story has a much deeper connection to the world of Harry Potter than it may initially seem.

I understand your irritation at finding typos in the chapter, and I am deeply sorry for that. I did use a spell checker, but it wasn't the best... It didn't help that, at the time this chapter was written, my computer was set to "Italian" as regards to the automatic correction, so sometimes the server changed my own corrections, messing up horribly. I am fairly sure I'll be able to deal with most of the spelling issues you found in the chapter (thank you for pointing them out, by the way), but what really worries me is the amount of sentences and words I use in a wrong way without noticing. I do know how "disappearance" is spelled, but I certainly didn't think about how the sentence you quoted could have sounded to the ears of a mother tongue reader. Well, probably I even did, but... You see, at school we were taught that: "English writers do not use long sentences or too many adjectives!". which is probably true if you compare a JK Rowling's book to a novel written by Calvino or D'Annunzio. Knowing this, I've always tried to "keep things short", sometimes failing miserably. The sentence you rightfully corrected was short enough, so I thought it would have been ok. I was clearly wrong, and I truly appreciate your advice. Your suggestions will be all used in the gigantic editing that will take place during the break, and I will try to think as an English as much as possible :P

I am glad you liked, well... something of this chapter, Eheh ;). I am extra-careful with the creation of my characters, because I want them to be as real, and thus complicated, as possible. As you guessed from this first introduction, the story will be highly detailed and the plot very intricate. I won't rush things, because I simply hate when the rhythm of a story is too quick or rushed, so there will be a good deal of mystery in the next updates.

Anyway, thank you again for the review! I will certainly re-request, just... tell me if you don't want me to, alright? I don't want to impose or anything :).

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Review #8, by moonbaby11 In Limbo

3rd December 2014:
And here's your second review!

I really loved the parallels between how Cassandra used to look and how she looks now. Her original appearance seems flawless, and is almost bordering on Mary Sue, but I like how you have twisted it around. As I said in my previous review, you don't often see characters with physical disabilities and deformities like scars, and I think it's really important to have main characters that aren't just conventional beauties.

I don't think I've ever seen a Sirius/OC story set in the Hogwarts era, and I'm excited to see how this is going to play out. You seem to have a really original idea on your hands, and I applaud you for coming up with something like this.

All of the information about Cassandra's backstory that continues to come forward is very intriguing. You've done a good job of supplying enough information that I felt like the plot was moving, but not too much to give everything away all at once. You seem to be good at balancing things like that, which isn't always the easiest thing to do.

Overall, I think you have two solid chapters on your hands here. There really isn't anything negative that I have to say about them, so good job. I'd definitely be willing to read and review more, so don't be afraid to drop by and rerequest!

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Review #9, by moonbaby11 A Wolf at the Door

3rd December 2014:
Hey, I'm here with your reviews!

This chapter was interesting. It definitely set up the story, as well as providing enough background information about the characters to not only keep the reader intrigued about their future, but also intrigue them about their past. That's definitely something that you want to establish in the first couple of chapters to keep your readers hooked, and I can honestly say that I already can't wait to read the next chapter!

Cassandra seems like a very interesting character, what with her physical disability (something I've only seen very rarely in stories) and the fact that she is gifted. The mention of a wolf attack has me thinking that it might be a werewolf, especially with the way that you ended this chapter.

I think it's always hard to review the first chapter of a longer work because it is really only setting up the plot and never seems to have much action or anything like that (hopefully I'm making sense). Regardless of that, I think you've done a good job with what you have here. I think I sort of have a feeling for where you are going with this, and I have to admit that I am excited!

There are a couple small spelling errors in this chapter, so I would suggest perhaps looking it over to see if you can spot anything. It was nothing major, but I know that spelling mistakes are something that normally bring me out of the flow of a story. Other than that, I think you've done a great job with introducing everything here and I can't wait to check out chapter 2!

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Review #10, by Chazzie Let Down

29th November 2014:
Mary, that was fantastic!
I was really interested by the way everyone treats each other in this chapter. You can see the distrust flowing between some of them, and I liked your portrayal of Shacklebolt. It was different to how he usually comes across in fanfiction, which was refreshing.
Amal was really angry with Cassie. I felt so sad for them both, because they need to get better but shouting won't help either.
Andromedea is quite difficult to figure out. I know she is a Slytherin and so she would naturally be quite stoic and such, but I don't know how much she trusts in Cassie. I don't quite know how much I trust Cassie at the moment, because she seems to be trying far too hard to not believe she is ill. I'm a little bit worried for her.
I loved that Neffie changes colour when she feels extreme emotions. That was a brilliant idea.
Ah, the cliffhanger D: things are getting very interesting in the Wizarding world. Can't wait to see what you have planned next, and I will certainly check out your other story too.


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your review!

I'm glad you liked the chapter! During my incredibly long period of pause in writing I realised things were getting a bit slow, and that it was time for some action. That's why I decided to "push the bottom forward", so to say, and set this update three weeks later than the previous one. I was afraid the time skip would have been too much, I'm glad the result was relatively smooth :).

Shacklebolt... Truth be told, I never read much about him. I just grasped the general elements of his character and went along with them, trying to make him as realistic as possible. I could have invented a new character, coming to think of it, but I don't like to add too OC in a fanfic... It gets. confusing. But anyway, the important thing is that you liked his portrayal, and I'm so glad you liked him!!

Regarding Amal and Cassandra... they are a bit of a mess, aren't they? The wolf is by all means a cub, and she simply cannot deal with complicated facts and emotions. They freak her out, in the worst way possible. Cassandra is a "cub" too, no matter her constant attempts at hiding it. It's curious how different her character is from the original idea in my mind. Well, I have to say, I imagined her as a utter Mary Sue. A true soldier, an adult in everything but her age. Then I started writing, and... Here I have a teenager with the mask of a soldier plastered on her face! :) I'm glad you like her too, and yeah... You should be worried for her. But I guess you'll find out in the next chapter :P

Anyway, I'll stop ranting, otherwise I would probably end up spoiling all the new events. An LOTS of things will happen. Explanations will be given too, so... Stay tuned!

Thanks again,


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Review #11, by marauderfan Street Spirit

27th November 2014:
Hello! I'm here with your requested review! :) Since you didn't specify any Areas of Concern, this may turn into an unstructured ramble, hopefully it will still help :p

I loved the switch in POV and how you told those key points of Prisoner of Azkaban from Sirius's perspective - that was really cool to see. Particularly the bit about bravery - I imagine he was probably terrified in Azkaban. And the way you wrote him in his Animagus form was really cool too, I enjoyed seeing that unique perspective and the things that he focuses on as a dog (like smells, and small rodents in the forest!)

I'm assuming the girl at the end was Cassandra. Sirius did seem to find both her and HArry, the two people he was looking for, very quickly. But it seems almost too fast, because how easy would it be to find people that you've heard nothing about for thirteen years? I think you could benefit from adding a paragraph just about him wandering lost for a while - it would help reinforce how much time he took to find the people he was searching for (because right now, it doesn't seem like he had to try that hard, apart from being hungry.)

Your descriptions of London are so great though - the street performers, food in bins behind the pubs, you've really brought it to life and I love the details you chose to express in order to create such a vibrant scene, especially in contrast to the dark memories and doom of Azkaban. So altogether wonderful job with the settings.

I know you have mentioned that English is not your first language and for that I'm really impressed that your writing is so good! I did see a couple of areas where the word choice did not quite fit though:

kept searching her in the magical world -- kept searching for her

also, like in the previous chapter you used the word 'organism' where I think it would work better to say 'body', as organism is a much more scientific term for an individual life form. (False cognates are so tricky! :P)

Anyway, overall it's an excellent chapter, great work!

Author's Response: Hi! thank you so much for your review!

I am so glad you overall liked this chapter! I will certainly try and add a paragraph to "slow things down" a bit... Technically, in fact, Sirius spent weeks wandering and running around, because, as you rightfully said, it would have been too easy to find both Harry and Cassandra in a matter of days. I didn't specify this enough, surely, but that's because this chapter is written according to Sirius' POV: after twelve years unable to distinguish night from day, or winter from summer, the man probably had an altered concept of time. The adrenaline caused by the sheer desire to find Harry and Cassandra somehow made him feel like the days were "running faster", if that makes sense, and I wanted to convey this exact feeling by accelerating the rhythm of the chapter. I'm sorry that I failed in this particular element, and, as I said, I will try to fix everything.

Thank you for pointing out that mistake! I will fix that too, together with all those "organisms" I spread all over the first chapters of this story :D ! I was thinking about replacing the word with "system", as a way of referring to the circulatory system and the tissues connected to it. Would that be correct too?

Anyway, sorry for pestering you with vocabulary questions :P ! I want to thank you again for your review, and I hope you don't mind if I re-request :).

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Review #12, by my_voice_rising A Wolf at the Door

26th November 2014:
Hi! Here with your requested review.

You have a strong opening to the story! You asked me to keep an eye out for over-embellishment, and the scene is vivid but leaves enough to the imagination. But I wonder how it would be if you wrote it in the voice and vocabulary of a four year-old. You mention that she's very smart, but words like 'illuminate' and 'accusation' are out of place here. I'd love to read the opening scene more through the eyes of four year-old Cassandra.

??? How has Cassandra been fighting since she was fifteen? Did she lie about her age? Also it's extremely impressive and a bit strange that she isn't afraid of bombs or tanks at all.

I don't think I've ever read an OC with an amputation before. Very original and adds a level of reality to the story. Am I wrong for hoping that magic will be able to heal her? Also an interesting parallel with the wolf that maimed her and Moony/Padfoot. I'm wondering now if it was a werewolf, but surely she would be showing signs by now...

I'd like to see some more depth to the Colonel. He's a great addition to the storyline, as she's now completely cast out and lost at sea. But what does he look like? Can we glimpse into their past together? Right now he only seems to be there to allow Cassandra some quips at his tan and to move the story along.

Ohhh, Lupin. Interesting! I wonder if it was chosen from subconscious memory or by coincidence.

This sounds like it will be a really interesting and unique story. Just remember to flesh out your characters--otherwise Cassandra seems a bit like the snarky, angsty orphan (when really her time in the military and disability set her apart) and the shouting, unnecessarily cruel adopted parent (when there could be much more to their history.)

Thanks for requesting ♥

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

First of all, I'm glad you pointed out that thing about vocabulary used in the dream at the beginning of the chapter. I never put too much thought in it, and I was wrong, so I'll read everything again and try to modify it as to make it appear as... Childlike as possible :)
Regarding Cassandra's work in the army, well... It is unusual, and the reasons why it was possible for a fifteen year old girl to join will be explained as the story goes on. And the trauma left by the two years in the battlefield isn't so insignificant as it may appear here, I promise! My OC is just too stubborn to understand she has a mental resistance that is not so different from that of any girl of her age. Her personality and physical appearance will be discussed more deeply from the next chapter anyway and I hope you'll find her more... "Round" as you continue to read.
Colonel Wilkins is... Not a good person. I am afraid he will not be treated as a main character here, but his role in this story hasn't ended yet. He will come back, just... Not now. In the later updates :)

Anyway, thank you again for leaving this nice review, and I hope you won't mind if I re-request ;)

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Review #13, by Moonyxluna A Reminder

12th October 2014:
Hi I'm (finally) here with your requested reivew!

So I'll talk a little bit about each chapters one throught three and leave you the bulk of it on chapter four.

So in chapter one right away we set up a background for Cassandra. Your writing flows beautifully through this chapter. I really got a great sense of her emotions and background story. This was an intense start and it really managed to drag me into her world. I didn't get a lot of her characterization but I think that works with what was going on in the chapter. She seems very strong willed, and sort of heavily morphed by her upbringing, so I'm wondering how that's going to come into place in the next few chapters. The memories were interesting, as well. I'm wondering what/if kind of magical background she is going to have or if it's the wolf (werewolf?) that bit her is causing it. This was a very nice setup.

I noticed one thing in chapter 1:
his time it was Cassandra's turn -- should say "this time"

Chapter two! I found a few spots in chapter two that could use a re-wording. (missed instead of miss, very minor phrasing things.) Still, though, I am always amazed when I read such flawless writing as this and remember that you said your native language isn't English.
So we get introduced to a little bit of the plot setup here; Cassandra has these flashbacks and the names Lupin - which she picked - Black - the sad criminal on the news - and.. eventually Potter :p It makes me very interested to find more about what happened to her real father, and where she's going to end up lining up with the group. At seventeen it's hard very hard to get out on your own, so I'm wondering if/when things are going to line up with the rest of the Wizarding group. Also curious if she's magical!

Chapter three then we get a little bit of Sirius perspective. Your level of interpretation of canon facts with Sirius' escape is fantastic. I felt like it was something that JK had created and written herself. It really lined up beautifully and gave me as the reader a good grasp of where his mindset is, searching for Harry and searching for Cassandra. I'm sitting on the edge now, waiting to figure out who/how Cassandra is related to the bunch. I noticed you spelled Hogwarts as Hogwarst - it happened twice so I thought I'd just point it out.

Alright and at chapter four!

One small thing about formatting for this chapter - I'm not sure how but the font is smaller here than in all of the previous chapters? This, and the amount of space between the paragraphs. Everything was okay in the first three chapters so I'm not sure if those have been edited or what. When you post your chapters it helps if you use the 'Paste As Plain Text' button. You have to edit all of your italics and bolding but it's worth it to avoid the spaces and extra formatting that programs add in.

So fate has brought Sirius and Cassandra together! It was a big moment and said a lot about her strength of character that she continued to help the hurt dog even though she could feel her own wounds open back up.

I really love your characterization of Cassie. She's strong willed, and she's got too much on her plate for such a young girl. It's heartbreaking that she is so torn up about not being able to help the dog out, and that it's just because of the money and not because she doesn't want to by any means.

Padfoot!Sirius is very interesting, as well. I liked the little bit of back story we got with Remus, and the rest of the group. I'm still interested in how Cassie is actually connected to Remus. I'm almost seeing hints of her being a daughter but I guess I'll have to wait and see!

In your request you mentioned descriptions. I think your writing so far has created a great story; one that I am definitely looking forward to reading more of. You have a wonderful set up of the plot, and your descriptions definitely enhance, and don't take away from, that story.

There were only very minor things I noticed reading, editing wise. I pointed some of them out, but most of it is a missing punctuation there, and a misused word here. There was nothing consistently incorrect, which made the flow of reading work very well.

I'm very interested in reading more of this! Feel free to re-request for the next chapters! I'd love to see Padfoot's reaction when he realizes who the girl helping him actually is!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for this incredibly detailed and extremely useful review! When I started writing this story I had spent more than a year without speaking or listening to anything in English. I had read a couple of fics, but my English was certainly not so well trained, so I made a huge amount of little but really irritating mistakes. I am grateful for the ones you pointed out, and I'll make sure I'll correct them when I'll finally put the word "end" to this story and start the editing process ("Hogwarts" is my personal damnation. I don't know why I spell it Hogwarst sometimes... It has to do with the fact of being Italian, I guess. We also say Dekstop instead of Desktop. We are awful.).

Regarding the formatting, as you noticed I solved the issue in the first chapters, and you'll see that even the last ones are ok. I will proceed and re-format the few I have left as soon as I can :).

I am so glad you like Cassandra and her character, as well as the other ones. I want to make her as realistic as possible, being this a fantasy story, and I suppose her being a round character will emerge even more in the next updates. Also, I am happy my descriptions entertained you and did not bore you to death! I tend to be a bit obsessive in this aspect, because I want the reader to "see" what happens in the story, as if it was a film.

Thank you again for the review! I will certainly re-request!

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Review #14, by lindslo2012 A Wolf at the Door

9th October 2014:
Hey there,
Here for your requested review! And might I say, how different but an AWESOME story you have going here.
I was sad for the little girl in the beginning and I couldn't believe what happened to her :( I wish her daddy didn't die. But unfortunately alot of people died in the war. I am quite excited to read more because I want to know more about this girl. I wonder who she really is and where she came from. From what I gather, it looks as though her father was a wizard. I bet she is a witch and will eventually go to Hogwarts, I need to read more to find out! :D So please,re-request! :) You are good at description I felt as though I was in the scene with the girl.
I enjoyed this chapter very much! Well done!

Author's Response: Hey there! Thank you so much for the review! I am so glad you liked the story so far, I know it is a bit different to the usual works published here, but this is the good thing of the fan fiction world, isn't it ;) ?

I am so happy you liked my description and Cassandra's character so far! As I mentioned in the chapter she is 17, so even if she was a witch, she would be too old to join Hogwarts. This is only a small explanation, the rest will be all explained later in the story!

Thank you again, and I'll certainly re-request!


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Review #15, by Chazzie Optimistic

7th September 2014:
Poor Cassie! Gosh, she's really going through a wringer at the moment. The flashback had me shivering for her. I love that Neffie is so accepting of her, I truly adore that. You said this is a Remus/Tonks universe, which could be interesting. Your old best friend dating your dad. Hmm. I wonder how Cassie will accept that. Personally I was hoping for a Cassie/Neffie world... But that's just me, because I want Cassie to feel loved. And I'm horribly selfish. So I apologise. I honestly can't wait to see what happens next. You come up with so many brilliant ideas, it is amazing to read.
It's really interesting the stance that Minerva has about Dumbledore. Almost as if she has always not quite trusted him.
PS. I'm glad you are back!

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for your review!

I have to say, when I first read your comment about an eventual Cassie/Neffie I was a bit surprised, because I had never really thought about that possibility. It would be actually a great idea and a great plot twist, and I considered it for a while, since I have been thinking about writing a F/F or M/M for quite some time now. However, after an entire day of internal monologues and debates, I came to the conclusion that Cassandra won't be part of a romantic homosexual relationship. Actually, I am starting to have my doubts regarding she being in a romantic relationship at all, due precisely to her contorted, tragic past. As you said, she has a desperate need for love, that is true, but not the boyfriend/girlfriend or girlfriend/girlfriend kind of love, not now at least. In fact, although her mind is wonderfully powerful and her external behaviour is the one of an adult, her sentimental dimension is still that of a child more than that of a teenager. She wants to love and be loved, but as a friend and as a daughter, not even considering other dimensions. I will thus focus on her development in her approach to her own relatives and friends, leaving romance behind for now. I don't exclude the possibility of including homosexual pairings in the future, though, since I truly believe they would add realism to my story :).

Regarding Dumbledore... Although I like reading bashing stories, I don't like writing them, and honestly the Headmaster is one of the good guys here! He is just manipulative as usual, and prefers to think about the "greater good" rather than the single person's situation. Remus and Minerva have to behave as his "enemies" for once, trying to bypass his control to get to the full truth, but this antagonism won't last forever.

Anyway, sorry for the long response and really, really thank you for your kind words! I will have to go on a tiny hiatus for the next two weeks, but I have a chapter halfway finished for both of my stories, and I will certainly update before the end of September :).


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Review #16, by Rumpelstiltskin Go to Sleep

3rd September 2014:
Okay, I'm here! Sorry about the delay...I needed to get back to this story anyway.

I love this chapter ^.^. Okay, so one of the elements that really stuck out to me was the way that Sirius' thoughts run the narration in the first section, Minerva's in the second, and Remus' at the end. This narrative style is something that really appeals to me, as it allows for a wider range of character and plot exploration -- so that the readers can see all sides of the story rather than just one (which does have its benefits, but I find this more fun, especially for this story).

I love Sirius' frantic thoughts of 'is this Cassie?', 'no, this can't be Cassie', 'why not?', 'It IS Cassie!' :D. It's sad to think about Sirius not being able to reveal himself to her, because, as he said, even if she does remember him, she'll think (like the rest of the world) that he's a murderer. For now, he'll just have to settle with keeping her company as "Doggie" ;). At least he's making her laugh -- poor Cassie has gone through a lot.

Cassie's characterization is great. I really like how strong she is, despite being so broken. She's a strong person (and goodness, being able to stitch your own leg must be incredibly difficult...I don't think I could do that), and I have a feeling that's going to play into the story.

McGonagall's characterization is spot-on, and I loved every second of her.

Remus' story of why he didn't approach Cassie when he saw her was heartbreaking. While, yes, her life seemed to be looking up -- but her entire world shattered since he last saw her :(. But, he knows that, though he thinks that he's killed her.

Ah! I can't wait to see how this all plays out!

Great chapter!


Author's Response: Hi! Sorry for the incredibly late response and the incredibly late return of favor...

Thank you so much for your review! I have to say I missed your comments, since you were my first reviewer ever and you managed encourage me to keep writing in a way you couldn't imagine!

I am glad you liked the shifts of POV, especially since they will be a constant in the next chapters. I found that I couldn't express the story with the depth I aimed to if I just conveyed Cassandra's and Sirius' view of the events. As it may transpire from this chapter, things are just too complicated to be seen just through a seventeen-year-old girl and a slightly unstable escaped convict. I am also incredibly happy that you like my OC: many told me she is a Mary Sue, and at the beginning I understand that she may give this idea... But she had her inner debates, and she is not perfect. This will probably become more and more evident as the story proceeds, and more difficulties arise :)!

MicGonagall is great! I love her, and I certainly want her to play a major role in this story. Remus is a tad bit darker than in the books, but I keep fooling myself that he's not OOC, probably because book Remus tended to take foolish decisions when it came to family (ehm... Tonks.ehm...). The "Restaurant misunderstanding" will cause quite the drama, I warn you!

Thank you again for the review, I really hope to hear from you soon, and congrats for the mini-Rumpel ;)!

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Review #17, by Gabriella Hunter Street Spirit

28th August 2014:

This is Gabbie from the forums here to dump this review on you and you'll have to excuse me for being so late. Can you believe that I was attacked by zombies and chased around by gnomes this week? I've been busy! Phew!

Anyhoo, on to this! I was a bit taken aback by the sudden POV change but once I realized where you were headed, I was completely on board. Its always great getting into the head of fresh characters and I really enjoyed what you've done for Sirius here. The word "brave" can have so many different meanings and I'm curious to see how you'll work that in later, though it was a bit sad to read about him being betrayed and alone all over again. The flashback that he had with Wormtail really had my mind spinning though and his thoughts about Cassie were heartbreaking and beautiful all at once. I'd like to know their relationship, though I have a little idea and I hope that you go into more hints later on--also, how did she go missing? I would really like an answer to that and Peter's such a weasel, not wanting to help, just going to add that in there. I thought it was really great how you tied in a lot of the events from the book into this chapter too, I think you blended it in really well. I would have messed up extraordinarily well by the last half of this chapter but you managed to keep her flow and pace going without any choppy sentences or awkward dialogue.

I really like the subtle difference that you've given Sirius and Dog-Sirius. I've never written from the POV from an Animagus before so I found that really fascinating and even though he's still human, the animal side of him was taking control every now and then. You did a good job there too, weighing those out and by the end, when he meets this "spirit", I was completely invested in his heartache and longing. That was written really well and I cant' wait to see what's going to happen next! How will he meet up with Cassie? How is she doing during all of this? I already know how he'll get to confront Wormtail but I can't wait to see how you'll have Sirius and Cassie meeting up and what might happen. SO, feel free to re-request!

Much love,


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Review #18, by marauderfan In Limbo

27th August 2014:
Hi! I'm here with your requested review! Since you didn't provide any areas of concern, I'll just list general things I noticed - what I liked and what I think could be improved - and hope that's helpful ;)

In the first chapter I remember thinking that Cassandra seemed almost a bit Mary-Sue ish as she was a child prodigy/ soldier/ doctor at 17, but this chapter added a lot of depth to her character that was very welcome. In particular how insecure she is about her scars - at the heart of it she is still a seventeen year old girl, and that section there was a great reminder that despite her amazing successes in life, she's still human! I like her as a character a lot more after this chapter - she's more complex now :) The juxtaposition of her kind of broken, lost feeling with her shoddy flat and broken furniture was really nice as well.

I'm curious about all the flashbacks and how she (might?) know Remus and Sirius and James (even if she can't remember the surname Potter haha) And why she was at Hogwarts, but never went there as a student? Who attacked her? Why doesn't she remember? There's a lot of mystery in her past and it's kind of neat the way you've set it up so that it's not just a surprise to the reader, but to Cassandra herself as well as she remembers these buried memories - it's like we're learning about her past together.

I did see a few word choice errors, the most noticeable to me was the following: The doctors who cured her supposed that her organism had been put under an excessive stress -- I don't think 'organism' is the right word here, as it is just a more scientific term to refer to a living individual (whether plant/animal/protist/anything) and feels out of place. Perhaps you could just say her body?

and another place you wrote 'lied' instead of 'lay'.

But on the whole, typos aside, this is shaping up to be a really intriguing story and I love the mystery in it! I'm eager to find out what her connection is with Remus and Sirius.

Great work! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the review!

I'm glad you think Cassandra's character is developing well, I was a bit worried when you wrote me your first impressions on her! In the future chapters it will become more and more evident that her intelligence and professional skills can't do much to hide her vulnerability and flaws. Of course, her brain and experience in the military field will be of some help in the course of the story, but she won't be the classic female hero that can to everything without any kind of help. She will try to deal with her issues alone, but unlike Harry, she won't have the luck to succeed.

Oh, I'm so happy you have questions, and I think you will be surprised by the answers you will find in the next parts ;).

Wow! I really don't know how to thank you for pointing out that mistake! In Italian, we use the word "organismo" (that is the exact translation of organism) to indicate the body of a person seen as the combination of the different organs, tissues, etc. Being a medicine student I use that term quite often, so I just wrote it assuming it would be the same in English. Obviously I was wrong, and I can't help but kicking myself mentally for having fallen for that false friend. I will be more careful in the future, but, as I don't write the chapter in Italian before writing an English version, it may happen that I'll use a term in an improper way. I would be eternally grateful if you could point out the words that seem "off" to you, so that I will be able to correct them in the massive editing this story will soon endure.

Thank you again for your review, and I hope you won't mind if I re-request in a couple of days!


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Review #19, by lexiatel Jigsaw Falling Into Place

27th August 2014:
I actually remember reading this chapter, so I don't know where exactly I stopped at (because there were no chapters available at the time).

This is such a sad/happy chapter. I was in tears. Every time I think of that betrayal, I get teary... what a sad moment in the book, really..

I will try to find out where I left off at. I am thinking chapter 10 really... heh.

This story is really really good, and I love it!

It would be pretty cool if C4ssi meets Harry Potter. :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for the review!
I am sorry if you had read this chapter already! I checked the last chapter you had reviewed, as I thought you hadn't gone further with the reading. Next time I'll make sure to request for chapter 11 ;).

As for Harry and Cassandra meeting each other... You'll see! (can I ask you a question? Why do you write C4ssi instead od Cassie? Just curious :))

Thank you again for the review!

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Review #20, by crestwood Optimistic

25th August 2014:
You've found a way to weave so many different elements into one chapter. Your Sirius point of view was excellent. I loved his Dementor induced flashbacks and, as always, his Padfoot inner voice. McGonagall was written incredibly well too. She hasn't been super important up until this point, but in this chapter her characters gets a major upgrade in significance. I'm surprised to see Remus be so honest with Harry, but I'm glad he was. I wish this is how it would have happened in canon, he did deserve some kind of truth. It's interesting how Dumbledore is a villain of sorts in this story.

At first, I didn't understand what Kingsley had to do with the rest of the story and then I was totally shocked to see mention of Colonel Wilkins. It seems like he's done something terrible, as expected. I felt a really strong bond between Tonks and Cassie. It's so interesting that they'd have been friends when they were younger. I wonder who else you'll involve. It feels like everyone is somehow connected in this story. The layers are unraveling and every time a question is answered, another five questions give rise. How did you ever come up with this idea? I'm honestly so impressed by this story. I have no criticism to give. I have nothing but praise and wonder. I can't wait for the rest of this and I can't wait for your new story to be validated. You're such a talented writer. Thank you for your request!

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Review #21, by crestwood Atoms For Peace

25th August 2014:
I know I've said previously that you could probably turn this into original fiction if you so wished and it'd probably be a bestseller and a critical success to boot, but honestly, the beginning of this chapter didn't feel like it took place in the Harry Potter universe; but rather some beautiful, new world that you created from scratch. It felt like an entirely new series. Something so fresh that I'd buy a full novel set in that Forest right now if you offered one. I can't even explain how that just captured my imagination. I was a little upset when I read "This however, isn't the time to tell these stories," but hopefully that means that one day it will be time to tell them!

Anyway, back to this wonderful story set in the present day. You're being simply artistic with words now. The reunion between Remus and Cassie is just elegantly worded and perfect. I daresay you've gotten to be an even better writer than before. This is exactly why I listed this as one of my five favorite stories. I just haven't read anything that is remotely like this. It isn't even my normal fare. I pretty much exclusively read Next-Gen romance and this is neither, but I find myself so compelled. I just hold on to every sentence and feel the emotion behind each. I can't believe this isn't more popular. It's every reason for fan-fiction being a viable creative outlet in one story.

The conversations you write between the wolves and their humans are kind of chilling. The wolves are such brash personalities. That is still one of the best representations of lycanthropy I've ever read. I almost can't think of anyone being a werewolf in any other way now. The split personality deal just seems to make too much sense. The way you tied in Remus with the beginning portion of the chapter, referring to him as the young son of Lycao, was brilliant. I love this chapter so much. It may be my favorite so far even!

Author's Response: Can you see me blush? You probably live on the opposite side of the planet, but I think you can.

I will never be able to thank you enough for your reviews. They make me feel as if I had actually accomplished all the goals I had set for me when I first started writing Fanfiction. And it doesn't matter to me if I don't have that huge multitude of reviewers (although that would be nice :P), because as long as I receive even a single review like this, I'll be forever happy.

I could go on and on and talk forever about how simply beautiful is what you've written to me, but I would probably bore you to no end, so I will simply tell you that you made me blush, you made me happy, and that a huge part of the Italian Eastern Coast knows about this review. I may have read it to everyone...


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Review #22, by crestwood Separator part 2

25th August 2014:
Hello again!

The first section - the flashback, was really a great piece of writing. Now, on the sixteenth chapter, you'd think I'd stop being so impressed with some of the things you write, but I haven't. The description of Cassie's entrance was incredible and the way you wrote that slap almost resounded for a few seconds. The Colonel truly is a terrible, terrible man. I can't remember the last time I read a character as despicable as him. You really make him come to life.

For some reason, I laughed really hard at Harry listing Voldemort 5 times within the things that happened to him. He really does deserve a multitude of mentions. I'll be honest though, I didn't quite understand exactly what was happening throughout this chapter. As in, I'm not sure if Harry is dreaming or honestly going insane. Regardless of what plane of reality this chapter existed in, I was transfixed by a large portion of it. Harry's point of view was a lot different than I've seen him written usually, but probably more realistic actually.

Tonks' portion of the chapter was really unexpected. I never thought much about her and Sirius' relationship, but you've expounded on it quite a bit. I'm glad you've tied her into the story by having Sirius bring Cassie to Andromeda. I can't wait to see what their interactions will be like once she wakes up. Great chapter!

Author's Response: Oh, dear. You can't actually know how much I love your reviews. They could brighten up the most horrible days!

I'll tell you a secret: I didn't want to include a flashback in this chapter, not in its original version, at least! As you said, I supposed the visions would start to get boring for some readers, so I tried and avoid that specific technique... And failed miserably! You have to thank Radiohead for that. And a particularly rainy day.

Oh, I'm sorry this update was too confusing! Just to clarify a couple of points, this scene takes place approximately half an hour after Remus' discovery of Albus' secret. Harry is asleep and dreams about Cass' past, as usual, only to be thrown in his Sanctuary. Then Cassandra comes... and the rest is history!

Tonks will have a much more important role in this story compared to her books' self... I just realized I am unintentionally gathering all the not-so-major characters of the Harry Potter series and elevate them to the status of ... VIP ones. I could call myself a Robin Hood of sorts!

Ok. Ignore my ramble, by now you should have understood I tend to fall for that quite miserably. Thank you again for your review, it means a lot to me.


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Review #23, by apondinabluebox A Wolf at the Door

16th August 2014:
Hi Mary! :) I'm here for our review swap!

You've started off quite unusually for a story in that the first thing we see is a flashback of a very dark event, right in the middle of the action with zero buildup at all. I like it :) I did notice a few spacing issues, and I recommend using the simple editor. You'll have to type the HTML code for italics and bolds etc but it does make the chapter more pleasing to the eye.

Cassandra is an unique character! A child prodigy, university at twelve, soldier at fourteen, doctor at seventeen... One thing I would advise you to watch out for is making her too Mary Sue-ish. At the moment, I think you've given her a decent chunk of character development that helps to establish that her life has left her with emotional scars, that she's vulnerable and very confused with people and their reactions (which hints at her possibly not having enough friendly socialisation? She seems to be capable at communicating at work given her responsibilities, but in terms of forming friendships, not quite as much, since I don't see mention of a single friend in this chapter). As long as you keep up her character development and continue to expand upon it, I think there's potential for you to pull off Cassandra as a vivid, engaging character. :)

Another thing I spotted was your punctuation, particularly in dialogue. I understand that English isn't your first language, so you may want to consider having a beta-reader look this over. In particular, when you use punctuation at the end of a sentence -- this for example:

"Daughter. You have finally decided to honour me with your presence"

"I am happy to see you too, Colonel. How was the weather in London these days? I suppose it was quite sunny, considering you are as tanned as ever". Cassandra smirked when the Colonel's face assumed a dark shade of red and his eyes narrowed in an attempt to appear dangerous. Pathetic.

In the first sentence, there should be a full stop after presence and before the speech/quotation mark. In the second sentence, you have a full stop but it's after the speech mark, while it needs to be before. There are some really good topics in Writer's Resources on the forums about punctuation; they helped me and I'm sure they'll be helpful if you want to check them out.

I really enjoyed reading about the Colonel. He's certainly a very mean character, and Cassandra's rebellious thoughts and comments towards him remind us that she's still a teenager (although I wasn't a child prodigy, I presume that even a child prodigy would still have some days when they felt like being childish). I'm a little curious about the reasons behind his behaviour. Was he always such a nasty man? Why? Or was it an event that emotionally changed him for the worse? I'd love to see that expanded in the future chapters!

You've set up an alluring mystery about Cassandra and her father, and her still-unmentioned mother. Why does Cassandra not remember her father? Were her memories censored by magic or did her childhood self repress what clearly was major emotional trauma? Why does Cassandra latch onto her father and think of him, but not of her mother? You've made me ask a lot of questions, which definitely tempt readers to continue this story! ^.^

I hope that my concrit wasn't too harsh -- my intention was only to help you improve the story -- and if you have any questions, feel free to PM me on the forums! :)

Author's Response: Hi! Thank you so much for the swap, I promise I'll write my review to your story as soon as I can.

The spacing is a bit off, I know... When I first started publishing on this chapter I didn't know there would be a difference in using a "paste" option or another, so I sort of... Followed my instinct, of course getting it all wrong. The last chapters are all fixed, though, and I will make a massive editing of the first ones as soon as possible!

I'm aware that Cassandra may seem Mary Sue in this first chapter, but I assure you she isn't. She is intelligent, that's true, but that doesn't prevent her from having doubts, moments of "childish behaviour", as you said, and not-so-brilliant ideas. I am trying to let her character be uncovered slowly, not pinpointing each flaws in the first chapters, otherwise it would be quite blunt and, in my opinion, a bit boring. In fact, if you have noticed, I did not mention anything about her physical appearance apart from tiny details. The next chapter will clear something regarding this aspect of her character. Regarding her exterior appearance: in the future, if you'll be interested in reading further, different characters will express different opinions regarding how Cassandra looks. One of them is NOT to be trusted, and I think you'll understand immediately who I am talking about.

Darn. I'm glad you pinpointed my mistakes regarding punctuation. I try to be as careful as possible when I write, and usually I don't have a problem with it because rules in Italian and English are not so different, but I write on my mobile phone most of the time. Although I re-read each chapter at least a dozen of times, it is easy to let something slip when writing on a mobile device. At night. With at least two hours of sleep before an entire day at Uni :). I'll correct what you pointed out when I'll do the famous massive editing!

Thank you for your comments and observations, and I hope I'll be able to read about your opinions regarding the next chapters too!

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Review #24, by magnolia_magic A Wolf at the Door

14th August 2014:
Hi! Maggie here with your requested review! Thanks so much for requesting this story. I'm looking into writing something action-y myself, so it will be very educational for me to read your take on the genre. I really enjoyed getting the chance to read your opening chapter!

I like Cassandra so far. She's a little abrasive for my taste, but with the hints of backstory you've given it's understandable. I think it was a smart move to include a lot of information about her background early on, because it puts some vulnerability behind the tough-as-nails soldier persona she has. Great job with her so far!

The flashback at the very beginning was especially good--I think it's my favorite part of the chapter. Seeing Cassandra as a little girl (especially a scared, defenseless one) helps us to sympathize with her. And it's just really well-written, too. I was transported into Cassandra's world, feeling her guilt with her and seeing those horrifying images. I wonder if she repressed those memories, or if she was maybe Obliviated? Haha, I just have to speculate. So many unanswered questions! I love the mystery you're setting up with regard to Cassandra's origins and childhood.

On the surface, Cassandra is kind of difficult to like. She's aloof, and we don't see her interacting positively with anyone in this chapter (but that's probably due to her "father" being so utterly awful.) That's why I like the little moments where you hint at what's beneath the facade. The mention of her wanting to get rid of her Army uniform in favor of a long skirt was a great way of showing us that Cassandra is more than just a hardened soldier. That image of her as a normal girl opened a door for me to connect with her :)

She does seem to have a lot of special abilities for someone so young, and I'm curious about where they came from. You might need to be cautious about Mary Sue-isms with Cassandra. I can get on board with the genius/child prodigy thing, but a fully-fledged doctor and soldier at seventeen? It's a little difficult to swallow. But if you keep going with the interesting character development that you've already started with this chapter, I'm confident that Cassandra will continue to be a compelling main character.

Ugh. The Colonel is just awful. A straight up piece of work. Adopting Cassandra and using her abilities for his own personal gain? Dastardly indeed. I hope he's gone for good, that's all I can say. What kind of "behavior" is he yelling at Cassandra about? That's one thing I wished was more clear. Does being attacked by a wolf count as "behavior?" That's the only thing he really mentioned (that I picked up on, at least), and that definitely isn't Cassandra's fault.

Oh my goodness the ending. What a way to hook your readers! Now I HAVE to keep reading, just to see what the Lupin thing is about. Is Cassandra connected or related to Remus in some way? I have to know! I'm very excited to read on :)

I enjoyed this! I think you have a really interesting plot going (especially with the "Lupin" bombshell at the end), and it's definitely unlike anything else I've read. I'll be interested to see how Cassandra develops over time. Keep up the good work and feel free to re-request any time!


Author's Response: Hi! Thank you for your review!

It may sound strange to you, but I'm glad you told me how much Cassandra may seem "unpleasant" at first, because that is what I wanted to gain. Cassandra is a soldier, a doctor, a really intelligent girl, that's true, but she's also a teenager who has not been raised properly. As other readers pointed out, she is capable of dealing with "professional" social interaction, but has difficulty to deal with friendship, affection, and so on. She is rough, instinctive, has an inner discipline due to her military upbringing but at the same time does not hesitate to express her judgment on people, sometimes unfairly so. I am aware that in this first chapter she can appear as a Mary Sue, but I can assure you, the areas in which she excels are limited. I am trying to develop her character a chapter at a time, and I hope you'll be there to let me know what you think about her. In the meantime, think of her as a grown up, grumbling Hermione, minus Ron and Harry.

Regarding the Colonel's part, the awful git considered "behavior" the fact that, instead of preserving her physical appearance -the only thing which he considered valuable about his daughter-, Cassandra fought the wolf losing permanently that quality. He would have preferred to see her in a coffin rather than alive and useless to his purposes.

Again, thank you so much for the review! I'll certainly re-request!

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Review #25, by Meleessuhh Atoms For Peace

12th August 2014:
Hello again! :)
So I remember a while ago I started reading this but couldn't finish because my computer froze. But now I found it again and I'm hooked :)

Your insights with your characters feel so personal, like a diary almost. It becomes much easier to connect with them this way because it feels more emotional rather than observant. I also love Cassie's character development; I feel like she's finally starting to feel better about herself and realizing how beautiful she is inside and out. And I'm glad she's reunited with Remus :)
But how is Dora going to help? I know this takes place on Prisoner of Azkaban where time traveling is going to take place, so will we see any of that?

Update soon! Great work and amazing storyline I can't wait for more :)

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