Reading Reviews for The Safety of the Shadow
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Veritaserum27 Leaving Your Comfort Zone

6th April 2014:
Hi Sarah,

Here for the BvB review battle. I had read this earlier, but I never left a review (sorry!). I really like stories where Rose isn't the ultra-confident girl who rules all of Hogwarts. I think it is more likely that she has a lot of issues to overcome based on the fact that her parents (and the rest of her family) were so famous in the wizarding world.

I also liked your use of the shadow. I usually think of someone hiding in a shadow because of guilt or deception. Your imagery in this story was so descriptive and it blended nicely with the tale of Rose's years at Hogwarts. Plus I always LOVE a story where Rose and Scorpius get together!

Thanks for another great read!

Beth

Author's Response: Hi Beth!

Haha, don't worry about it! You left a review in the end, that's what counts!!

I'm so glad you liked the way I portrayed Rose! I'm glad you liked my imagery and how I put ScoRose in there (I had to, they're literally my otp)

You're welcome, thanks for another lovely review.

xoxo Sarah ♥


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Review #2, by Coley Leaving Your Comfort Zone

2nd April 2014:
Hi there, coley here for the ravenclaw review battle!

I really loved this piece, you showed really well how vulnerable Rose was and it came across very well and consistently throughout.

I particularly liked this line: "She had hidden in the shadow’s safe darkness from the sun and from reality." Giving the shadow an entity really added a lot to the piece despite it being short, it shone through.

As for constructive criticism, there are a few grammatical errors - nothing major, a fine tooth comb would sort it out.

What I especially loved was the shadow receding and showing Scorpius, letting the reader know that despite the fact that Rose won't have the safety and comfort of Hogwarts anymore, she'll always have Scorpius.

Great work!

P.S Caramel Chew-Chew is the best Ben & Jerry's flavour!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much! You're so sweet! I really had a fun time making the shadow more than just the idea of a thing. I wanted it to be, and to live.

I'll take a look at it, thanks! I'm glad you liked my insertion of Scorpius as well!

xoxo Sarah

P.S I've never tried it but I will now!!


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Review #3, by marauderfan Leaving Your Comfort Zone

25th March 2014:
Um, first of all I love that your wrote fanfiction for a school assignment. :D

This is a really beautiful one-shot! The descriptions are so lovely, and the symbolism about the shadows as kind of a retreat of safety and familiarity. I love how it's kind of a trip through her memories as she grew up - this line in particular was lovely: It had seen her laugh and cry, scream, shout, and simply just be. 

The part at the end was nice too when she steps out of the shadow and into the sun, letting go of her safety zone and accepting that the ending of her time at Hogwarts is also a new beginning. A literal and figurative step out of shadow. The whole story really conveys this sense of nostalgia and your descriptions are very visual. I like how you highlighted the light and dark, focusing on things like the sun and the forest.

Well done on this fic, you conveyed a lot in a small amount of words, and it was really lovely!

And my favorite Ben & Jerry's flavor is Peach Cobbler - yum. Gah now I really want ice cream.

Author's Response: Haha, is there any other way?

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you liked my descriptions and that I wrote everything effectively. Awe, shucks. You're too sweet. I was really trying to create a visual and mental version of how she was seeing everything.

Thanks again, for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it.

I've never tried it! I'll have to! Hehe, sorry!

xoxo Sarah


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Review #4, by UnluckyStar57 Leaving Your Comfort Zone

14th March 2014:
Hello! Happy Review Battle!! :D

I think it's really cool that this was written for a creative writing assignment!! And I love that you connect all of your stories to the HP-verse. :)

The idea of the shadow representing safety is definitely something that I can relate to. It's often easy to hide from change by ducking your head back into your turtle shell and letting life pass you by. The fear of failure prevents you from leaving the shadow, but sometimes, the shadow recedes and you have to step out into the light.

I loved the way the light-shadow conflict played out. Scorpius, so much a part of Rose's Hogwarts experience, was in the shadow with her, but when he proposed, the shadow started to shrink away from him. If Rose wanted to be with him, she would have to follow. It is awesome that she stepped out of the shadow before it faded, because it represents the fact that she's made the choice to go on to bigger and brighter things. :)

Your grammar and sentence structure are very good! I have one suggestion: whenever the word "it" is possessive, it should not have an apostrophe. Therefore, saying, "The dog wagged its tail when it saw the mailman" is correct. When "its" is written with an apostrophe ("it's"), it is a contraction for "it is." So "It's a lovely day" is equal to "It is a lovely day."

But that's the only thing I saw. Sorry that the explanation was long and ungainly. :)

Great story! It was really powerful, even though there weren't very many words. :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hi! Yes, happy review battle to you, too!

Thanks! I really find it fun and interesting to incorporate HP into my creative writing course, and some of the assignments are things that I would never expand upon outside of fanfiction, so I figure might as well put them to use!!

I'm so glad that you felt that way, and that you saw that. I really loved writing that part. It was so fun trying to find creative ways to describe it and play with it. I was really hoping that throwing Scorpius in there would add just that extra bit of emotion that sort of really let that idea sit there.

I'll check that part out! Thanks for saying something! And thanks for your lovely compliments!

xoxo Sarah


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Review #5, by toomanycurls Leaving Your Comfort Zone

8th March 2014:
Hello Sarah!!!

Um, this is kind of amazing! I love the way the shadow is this all encompassing part of Rose's life and it touched so many moments. The shadow felt like a person, more than just the effect of the sun and an object.

Even more impressive is how you've highlighted key parts of Rose's personality and experiences in such a short story. I feel like I've gotten to know her and she seems quite real. I love the snogging she did in the shadow too!

You're simply amazeballs. I loved the bittersweet feel to this as well.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hi!

You're too sweet, Rose. I'm glad you liked it. And I'm amazeballs? I think you mean you're amazeballs. But thanks ;)

xoxo Sarah


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Review #6, by Aphoride Leaving Your Comfort Zone

6th March 2014:
Hey there - dropping by for the review battle! :)

So when I saw this on your page, I knew I had to drop by because I'm always so impressed by people who manage to fit so much into small word counts, like this - partly because I waffle on like nobody's business, as you can probably tell :P

I really liked this! I love how you've kept it short, and yet there's so much in it. Seriously, I could never do something like this - short, but so poignant, with so many themes and feelings all tucked into it. I love how it's sort of like a kind of flashback thing, how Rose is thinking of the things which have happened in the shadow and at school, and everything which has gone on and how she's grown up and changed. It's really lovely reflective tone you've got in this - it's great!

Also, I love the shadow itself. How it's the shadow of the school which has impacted her so much, and the idea of the change and how it's always been there. It's kind of like an obscure reference to time, you know, the way you've used the prompt. The idea that the seasons and time, therefore the shadow of the castle, is something of a constant and just keeps going, and it's safe and protective and now Rose is leaving.

The reference to being passed over from the safety of the shadow to a different kind of safety - the safety of love with Scorpius - was such a lovely touch, too! :) It's kinda like a maternal thing, you know - like a child growing up, almost literally, and the shadow's like a mother, and now Rose is leaving and growing up and her relationships are changing, becoming less childish... I have no idea if that all made sense, haha, but I hope so! :)

There were a few bits where the phrasing and sentences were a bit odd - just sounded kinda like phrases left on their own and maybe needed linking to something or re-phrasing? If you look over it again, or get a friend to look over it for you, it should help! It's a minor thing, but I thought I'd mention it anyway since it's something which can be fixed :)

But yeah, I really enjoyed this! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for such a lovely review! I really appreciate all of your nice compliments! I was nervous that this wouldn't be well received because it was kind of a strange prompt. But it was fun to write once I got going and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'll definitely have a friend look it over for those places and to neaten it up. Thanks for pointing them out :)

xoxo Sarah


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Review #7, by kenpo Leaving Your Comfort Zone

5th March 2014:
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU POSTED THIS?!?!?

I remember you talking about it!!

I can't believe it's been this long since I've visited your Author's Page. I'm a bad friend. I'll review-spam you sometime soon, promise.

Oh, BvB battle. Woot.

I love how in your banner you have xoxo LL. It's like xoxo GG, but the G's stopped going to yogo and lost their limberness.

*cough* maybe I should talk about the story.

It's short but I love it. It's so good.

YES RON SENT HER A HOWLER THAT'S SO PERFECT. Because the Ron we knew probably would be like "no, Howlers are awful, I'll never send them to my children, ever." But then he grew up to totally do it and I love it. I'm probably reading way too much into it, but I really like it.

And you had to mention ScoRose, didn't you ;). That's okay. I'm turning into a bit of a ScoRose-er myself... although I also like Scorpius/Albus. And Scorpius/Hugo. Don't hate me.

I love the way this gives a snapshot of her time at Hogwarts in such few words. It's basically a list, but you give the descriptions well so it reads as more than that.

I think that leaving school, and leaving where you're comfortable is something we can all relate to. I like how, as much as Hogwarts gave her, and as much as she owed to Hogwarts for shaping her, she's ready to go. And at this point, she's hiding. Hogwarts isn't doing her any more good. She's done. She's ready to level up, and move out of the shadow. Let that sun set fire to your hair, girl!

I'm not talking to Rose. I'm not. That'd be weird.

Okay, I was. Only a little.

A lot.

I just really love how you captured this moment, this common human experience. It was really really nice.

-kenpo

Author's Response: I DID TELL YOU I POSTED IT. I SAID I JUST POSTED ANOTHER ONE SHOT, IT WAS ABOUT THAT SHADOW. at least. I think I did. I don't know. You can go through our 21 pages of conversation to figure that one out.

Yeah, you neglecting friend. Gosh. How could you. Kidding, because I'm evil and haven't been to your authors page in a while. LOVE YOU!

Uh. Duh I had to mention ScoRose. What do I look like? I cried over the romione thing because that meant no ScoRose. Yup. NO. SCORPIUS ONLY GOES WITH ROSE. NOT WITH ALBUS OR HER BROTHER. NO. I barely even liked it when Rose did it, I just tolerated it because it's Rose and she does what she wants and if we don't listen she kills Savage's and I can't handle any more of that.

Awe, thanks! That's such a compliment. I'm flattered by your flattery. (is that a thing?) I'm really glad you liked it. I love that you started talking to Rose. Got a little wrapped up in your review there darling?

Oh, and in response to the banner thing. I TOTALLY DID IT BECAUSE OF GOSSIP GIRL AND ALL OF MY BANNERS HAVE XOXO LL AND I SIGN EVERYTHING LIKE THAT OR I USED TO BEFORE PEOPLE KNEW MY NAME SO NOW ITS JUST XOXO SARAH BUT YEAH AND I LOVE GOSSIP GIRL AND YEAH. Run on sentence is long.

I just really love how you left me a review that was so funny. and how I spazzed back in response.

xoxo Sarah


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Review #8, by Infinityx Leaving Your Comfort Zone

4th March 2014:
Hi Sarah! Here for the BvB battle!

Once again, this is such a wonderful one-shot. I love the premise behind it and I love the way you've written it as well. It so clearly conveys the connection between Rose and Hogwarts, and the way you've brought in the importance of the shadow is brilliant. Everyone finds themselves in the same position at some point or the other, and I really like how you've written the whole scenario! Your descriptions were beautiful!

The only small thing that threw the flow a bit was the repetitive use of 'shadow'. I'm guessing it was intentional since it was your prompt, but I feel that at some places you could refer to it without using that very word. But other than that, I think this was lovely.

Great job once again! I love your ideas and I can't wait to see what you come up with next! :)

~Erin

Author's Response: Hi Erin!

Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! It was fun to write! Even if it was weird centering a story around a shadow. I did intentionally say Shadow that often, in my original piece I didn't mention it as much, but my professor said he wanted it to be more in your face. So I made it more in your face. I'll look into word choice!

xoxo Sarah


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Review #9, by CassiePotter Leaving Your Comfort Zone

22nd February 2014:
Hi Sarah!
I thought this was a really beautiful one-shot! I loved that it centered around the shadow of Hogwarts and what that has meant to Rose. It was really unique and interesting to read and I think you did a fantastic job with it! One line in particular that stuck out was "It had seen her laugh and cry, scream, shout, and simply just be."
That was gorgeous! Your writing is really lovely, and I enjoyed this story a lot! 10/10
Cassie :)

Author's Response: Hi Cassie!!

Thanks so much! I'm so glad that you liked it! Thanks so much for leaving a review!! I was a lot of fun to write!

Thanks again hon!

xoxo Sarah


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Review #10, by HEG Leaving Your Comfort Zone

22nd February 2014:
Very good, nice descriptive. :)

Author's Response: Thank you

xoxo LL


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Review #11, by Chazzie Leaving Your Comfort Zone

22nd February 2014:
I loved it! It was really sweet, and the fact that she finally accepted that it was time to move on (with Scorpius, may I add) was just really aww. I was smiling by the end. Somehow you have really said a lot about Rose in only 666 words, which is really impressive. One tiny little thing which I may just be being picky about - in the fourth paragraph shadow is written with a capital letter and I wasn't sure if it was deliberate or not.
As for B&J's Ice Cream flavours, I love the Vermonster :-)

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for this lovely review!!

I'm glad you liked it, and I don't think I did that intentionally, I'll go check it out. Thanks!

xoxo LL

P.S. That's a good one too.


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