8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by DracoFerret11 Carnations and Cakes

10th March 2014:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums here to review for you for the Valentine's Day Competition! :D Sorry it took so long...anyhow, let's go over things:

Plot: This was positively adorable! I really think you captured the spirit of the competition in this story and I really liked the way you tackled this pairing. The date itself was something to be expected, but the cute interaction of the characters made this unique. Well done.

Characterization: I loved the contrast you created between Lorcan and Lysander. I think it's too often that people make twins carbon-copies of each other, and I liked that you didn't do that. Good job showing the uncertainty that Lorcan felt at first, paired with his later confidence and how those both affected him. Dom was sweet and caring and I liked that you avoided the conceited/self-centered trope that I tend to see when people write about her.

Descriptions: I liked the small details you added in about how things looked around Hogsmeade and how the characters looked, etc. It helped me feel like I was in the story.

Emotions: I really liked the reactions that Lorcan and Dom had to the mishap. I think they were both realistic and that you really showed their embarrassment very well.

Interactions: There were a few moments where things got a bit too cheesy for my own liking (such as the ending, haha), but I think you pulled this off. It's a Valentine's Day story; it's going to be fluffy. :)

I think you did quite a good job! Well done and good luck in the competition!

--Emily

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Review #2, by toomanycurls Carnations and Cakes

3rd March 2014:
RRT!!

I read Dee's side of this a bit ago and was remiss to not immediately come to read yours. *hides*

But I'm here now!

I love the way you've contrasted Lorcan to the rest of his family. After reading Dominique saying he dumped cake on her, I thought he had to be such a nut ball - but he's quite normal and just got a bit ahead of himself showing off.

Lorcan is sweet and a bit hard on himself but their date was going quite well for most of it... Dominique and Lorcan both seem a bit shy and unsure of themselves which is just wonderful for a first date.

And, oh dear, the cake fiasco was much less random in your story than it seemed in the other. It was almost quite the romantic moment.

I just wanted to hug Lorcan as he sat all sad and dejected in their CR. I am glad Dominique sought him out and was sweet to him. Lorcan's alarm at hearing that Lysander talked about him is understanding siblings know way too much to be given free reign to talk to someone's crush!

I loved the line about her tasting like icing - it's such a sweet way for their first kiss to go!

-Rose

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Review #3, by Maelody Carnations and Cakes

28th February 2014:
What a sweet continuation!

So he's a perfectionist, eh? What a hard life to live with the family he has! Though, it's really funny to rely on science on the existence of something when he himself is a product of something we Muggles don't think exist ;).

I love how comfortable this pair is. You can definitely see the friend vibe, and you can tell it's not just a random crush set up for the purpose of making a quick story. They had so much chemistry and could have fun with one another, which made reading it very fun! The shoulder bumps, the compliments, and the odd humor were great details!

Aww! He was just trying to show her wand less magic! How cute! Such a shame it went wrong! Though it sort of seems she ran out a bit sudden. Maybe if there was a mention of the small room laughing before she goes? It sucks that she didn't let him fix it right then. Instead, she had to run through the whole village and would have gone through the whole castle if Lysander hadn't caught her.

What I really like is how this story happens at the same time as the first story, and after. Not once do I feel like I'm being retold something, nor do I get bored with the mention of something that happened in the other story. You did an excellent job retelling an event we knew happened while giving us even more information. That's a great feat!

As for a little criticism, there were just a couple misspelled words here and there. Once the word 'We' was used instead of 'When'. It was just trivial things like that, nothing big. :)

Otherwise, you did such a lovely job! Dom's confronting was just right, too. Nothing overbearing, and nothing embarrassing for Lorcan. He could tell she was there for him, and that kiss was just perfect with their background! You two truly did a wonderful job! I loved both stories and I STILL have butterflies in my tummy from the first entry, so good job on keeping the D'AW factor ;). The best of luck to you two!

~Mae

Author's Response: Hi, Mae!

Thanks for such positive feedback on the plot and characterization! It was definitely a challenge writing it on such little notice, which is why there were a few grammatical errors on my end. I'll have to go through and fix that up!

I'm pleased that you believe it was a great continuation of Dee's story! I was worried they weren't similar enough.

Thanks!

-Janelle


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Review #4, by ohmymerlin Carnations and Cakes

28th February 2014:
Hello!

AWWW, THIS WAS SO CUTE! I loved how well you wrote this!

Poor Lorcan - he was just trying to impress her and he dropped cake all over her! Oh well, at least she forgave him! :D

I really loved the way you wrote Lorcan and Dominique! They felt very real!

Anyway, this was a great story! You wrote it superbly and I really loved reading it! Great job! ♥

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hi Kayla!

Thanks for the great review! It made me smile:). Lorcan and Dom were very easy to write, so I'm glad you thought they were good together!

-Janelle


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Review #5, by Singularity Carnations and Cakes

28th February 2014:
I loved this portrayal of Lorcan, and thought you did a really nice job of setting up his character right away, and then keeping him consistent throughout.

I had read your partner's story first, so I obviously knew things were not going to go /exactly/ as planned, but it was still amusing to see the events unfold.

I also really loved Lorcan's reflection about his family. He acknowledges that they're all kind of strange, but rather than feeling ashamed of them, he's kind of envious. I think that speaks so much to family dynamics and love. He wants to fit in with them because he loves them and he can see beyond the outside strangeness to the benefits that lie within. It's really sad and sweet at the same time.

I'm glad Dom comes back to talk with him and he gets his happy ending after all.

You and your partner did a great job of tying your stories together, while still allowing them to stand separately, so well done there. I thought they really complemented each other. Good job!

Author's Response: Hi, hon!

Thanks for the great review. I was so nervous about posting a story so quickly, but it did okay. My partner was absolutely wonderful to work with, and I'm relieved that you think our stories fit well together!

Thanks!

-Janelle


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Review #6, by Lululuna Carnations and Cakes

22nd February 2014:
Hi Janelle! :)

I've just read Dee's story and love the idea you guys came up with in writing about the Scamander twins. They're so quirky and fun, and I love how you've written Lorcan to compliment the other story. His insecurities and how he feels like he doesn't fit in with the rest of his family made him such a dynamic character. It was funny how he thought that Lysander was the popular one and the one who had it easy, when Lysander in the other story didn't see himself that way at all.

I thought the date was adorable, though I felt so bad for how hard Lorcan was trying and how he wanted everything to be perfect! His feelings for Dominique were really adorable in how he knew all these things about her and all about her favourites. The cake incident was unfortunate, but I'm glad Dominique came back to apologize. It was her fault for over-reacting and I'm happy that Lysander talked some sense into her.

I love how you guys had the stories overlap, but also the different opinions of the brothers and how they see themselves and one another. It was very clever and just adorable to read, and I love how they both ended with a kiss and a happy ending. Great job, I thoroughly enjoyed this! :D

Author's Response: Hi Jenna!

The idea of the twins was all Dee's idea. Thanks for such kind and lovely comments on the story. It means so so much! I'm relieved that you liked it. So thanks again!

-Janelle


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Review #7, by nott theodore Carnations and Cakes

19th February 2014:
Hello!

Ah, this was a really cute story to be paired with Dee's! I have to say that I think the two of you worked really well together and I love the idea of writing about two dates that two twins go on for Valentine's Day!

I really love Lorcan's character here, he was so cute an adorable. It was great to see a male next generation character who's got flaws and isn't the perfect one who finds it easy to get all the girls. The added background that you gave us, about the way he's never really felt like he fits in with his family, really helped to develop a well-rounded character, and I'm impressed with that in the short time that we had for this.

I felt so sorry for him planning the perfect date and doing everything he could to find out more about Dom so that he could make it perfect for her, and then it had to go wrong. That was just so sweet of him that when he tried to impress Dom by levitating the cake I wanted to hug him. Having read Dee's entry I obviously knew how that would end, but I loved the way your piece continued after that.

Dom went to find him, and what she said was so lovely and sweet! They seem like a well matched couple and she was really understanding of why he'd done what he had, and it was cute that she apologised for running away when poor Lorcan was sat there thinking he'd completely ruined everything!

Aw, the kiss at the end was just so cute, and I loved the little joke that her lips tasted of icing :P

Sian :)

Author's Response: Sian!

Thanks for such a lovely review! Your words mean so much! Dee and I worked hard to get all of this done, and most of the credit has to go to Dee, who decided the plot. Thanks again!

-Janelle


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Review #8, by HeyMrsPotter Carnations and Cakes

17th February 2014:
Janelle! I couldn't NOT review this as you were so wonderful to work with on the challenge :)

You know this already, but I adore this story. I love that you could have gone with the easy option of having Lorcan be this outgoing popular guy and that's it, but you didn't, he had all of these insecurities and that made his character so much more real to me. It also helped a great deal when I was writing about him in my story.

Lorcan's meticulous planning of their date shows just how much he cares for Dom, and there's just the right amount of fluff before the date all goes wrong when he tries to impress her, typical of a 16 year old boy.

I'm so glad that Dom went back to him and their kiss at the end, with the added taste of cake, really was the icing on the cake (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!).

Thank you again for panicking about deadlines and putting up with my bombarding you with messages, it was a pleasure to enter the challenge with you and I'm really glad this amazing story came out of it :)

Author's Response: Dee!

Haha thanks for leaving me a review on this, when you were totally NOT obligated to do so. You were an amazing partner, and this was all your idea, so bravo!

-Janelle


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