Reading Reviews for Enduring
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by prankingthemarauders Enduring

23rd April 2014:
I know this was only a one-shot Lauren but I want to know what happens after Lily and James get out of St Mungos! Perhaps an idea for another story? *wink wink nudge nudge*

I find it so cute that Lily is the first thing on his mind once he wakes up, I got a warm fuzzy feeling inside when reading it :)

I feel sorry for them that their date was interrupted by Death Eaters though :( I'm guessing their refusal to sign up with Voldemort was one of the times they defied him?

Having Lily desperately trying to see James was just as cute! It just goes to show just how in love they were!

Thanks for the lovely read again, you really are a talented writer Lauren! Keep up the good work :)

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Review #2, by randomwriter Enduring

19th March 2014:
Hi Lauren :) Happy Birthday!
*hands over cake and gifts and, rather reluctantly, James McAvoy* :D

Because it is your birthday, and I want to shower you with love, I thought I'd review your Speed Dating entry... because, you know... it was written for valentine's day. (Okay, don't hit me. Just let me be lame. :p) Alsoo. GUESS WHAT?
I've been saving this review for something special. It's Number 100 :D Laureennn. I love you. Happy Birthdayyy! :D

Anyway, onto the review. I'd read this before, but I didn't have the time to leave a review then. I'm glad I 'saved' up :p I loved this story. I could read it again. I think that to write something like this in such a short time frame is genius, indeed. And you've shown that even though you were pressed for time, you did not compromise on quality. That's great :) I love Jily and I swear, I went through a wide spectrum of emotions throughout the course of this one-shot. Even though it is quite brief, you managed to pack it with so much emotion. I take my metaphorical hat off to you.

I loved the descriptions. I could see and smell the hospital room in my mind. You'd written it out so well. And I genuinely felt this rush of panic, that James was going through when he couldn't find Lily. I was really worried there for a second.But I was so glad when James found out that she was perfectly fine. I felt so relieved.

Your writing and description is marvelous. I love the flow of this piece. It was so easy to read, and it seemed to end too soon. The way you've written it is so perfect. You haven't over-ridden it with unecessary description, because in a story like this, with this plot, it would have been too much. But you haven't made it too expository either. You've included just the write amount of description, dialogue and information. A perfect balance.

There were certain lines here and there that really caught my attention. I could quote half this piece, but I'll stick to the minimum.

An unexpected darkness invaded his memories; its spindly fingers tearing the scene of happiness at the seams. His breathing got heavier as he remembered the Death Eaters surrounding them, ripping the two of them apart.
^This was just so well worded. It gave off this ominous vibe and it certainly sent a chill down my spine.

A deep dread filled his entire being. He remembered the flashing blaze of spells flying past him as jets of red, green and blue erupted from his own wand. The spells had flown faster, hed gripped his wand tighter, it went on and on until suddenly the memory stopped, ending in stark black.
^This gives the writer a great sense of how helpless James felt at that point. It also drew me in because you managed to engage me on an emotional level.

On the matter of characterisation, you couldn't have been more right. Sirius' recklessness, James' protectiveness and Lily's determination to not go down without a fight were completely in line with their characters. Also, James' quick-wit was a nice touch. I also think that you wrote Lily's confusion well. She isn't a slow thinker, but her mind might have gone hazy with worry. Very plausible. Basically, you nailed the characterisation.

Also, the moment they had in the end. IT FILLED ME WITH FEEELS. It was so AHH.

Lauren, I hope that someday I will be able to write as well as you. I love your work, and you :) Happy Birthday, once again. Hope you've had a lovely day. :) Have a mind-blowing, brain splatteringly (yes, let's assume that that's a thing, and it's good) year ahead :)

Love
Adi :)

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Review #3, by Rumpelstiltskin Enduring

15th March 2014:
Hey there, here for Blackout Bingo (review 5/20).

Plot/plot arch: You did a fantastic job creating a full arch in this one-shot, which is sometimes difficult to do. By establishing that something had happened, that James Potter was in pain and slightly disoriented, you gave the beginning an air of mystery. Then you moved through some of the events that had taken place, though leaving the reading still in the dark about what happened during the Death Eater attack, which was fantastic, as it continued that mystery. Next, the readers learn that Lily was, indeed, alright, which was a great relief, leading into full detail on the events that transpired during their date, mainly the attack. Of course, then the ending was super sweet and wrapped this up nicely.

Characterization: James' concern for Lily and, similarly, Lily's concern for James was fantastic. Their confession of love at the end was entirely wonderful and sweet; I adored it. Sirius being the "hero" for his friends really struck me nicely. I think that this was very accurate, because I'm sure this is something that Sirius would actually do. Hooray for Sirius!

Theme: Love ♥ -- they survived, and they're together, and that's what matters. I think you've established this nicely. Friendship -- without Sirius, things may have ended differently for James and Lily in this instance, and I think that this is a very important underlying theme of this story.

Emotion: Anticipation was the initial emotion, as the readers were just as disoriented at the beginning as James was, and wondering what happened and if Lily was alright. Then comes the sense of relief and the lighter ending, though we all know how this inevitably will end.

Style: I really liked the structure of the story, which I already kind of commented on in the plot. It just really worked out nicely to create a nice, full plot-arch.

Notes/Other: This was a fantastic story, and I think you've done a wonderful job! I love Jily, so this was really sweet.

-Rumpel

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Review #4, by love_is_magic_ Enduring

7th March 2014:
Hello!

Okay, so wow! What a powerful beginning. You do such an amazing job with the description, I really can't praise the first couple of paragraphs enough! Also, how adorable that seeing Lily makes James wake up and try to sit, forgetting he can't move?! Pretty incredibly adorable, if you ask me! Such a great touch to add to the tragedy of the situation.

Let me just pause this amazing reading experience to say that you write James and Lily SO SO SO adorably. Like... SO ADORABLY. I love them, and you do a great job of making me love them even more :D The bits about her trying to get into his hospital room, not to mention his being worried that she's alright and There was no way in a million years he would have left her, not even for a second. Like I said, adorable.

Damn right he thought no one messes with James Potter and Lily Evans. HA! Such a great touch, and a brilliant bit of characterisation.

Wow, so I can't help but see the parallels of Lily and James' Malfoy Manor experience, and the Malfoy Manor scene from DH. I don't know if you did it on purpose, but there are a ton of similarities and it was brilliantly done!

Okay, then you top it off with an adorable ending. Of course, shattering what remains of my heart into a billion little pieces.

I am favouriting this story. It's happing. I just loved it way too much! Well done :D

Christy

Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle 3/15

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Review #5, by adluvshp Enduring

3rd March 2014:
Blackout Battle!

I really enjoyed this piece! It has been a while since I read James/Lily so this was a nice one =) I loved how you described James' pain in the beginning and yet all he could think about was Lily. It was also sweet to hear the healer say that Lily was trying to get to him too. Then, the interaction between the two was very sweet too and it brought a smile to my face.

All in all, I think this was a very well-written piece showing how much James and Lily love each other and how there is lightness even in the dark times of war. Your descriptions were beautiful and I didn't see any grammar issues either. Great job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #6, by Lululuna Enduring

1st March 2014:
Hello! :) I actually came here a few days ago to review but life got in the way, so I'm glad I have the time and an extra excuse now! :) I read your partner's story and really enjoyed it, and I love the concept you guys came up with. This is such an original take on a Jily romance and I just loved it.

It's really lovely seeing how both James and Lily can't stop thinking about the other person and wondering if they're alright. It's something more than romance, but love and devotion and sacrifice. You did a good job of capturing that element of doing anything for the people they love and putting that person's welfare before their own.

As exhaustion threatened to pull him back under though, a murky image of a red-headed girl with strikingly emerald eyes started to form in amongst his jumbled thoughts. I really loved this and how Lily was the clarifying image James needed to pull himself back into consciousness. It was a beautiful image as well and felt so vivid.

He remembered the room looking similar to the one his mother had been in a few years previously. I thought this was a fantastic detail as it not only explained how James knew about the hospital, but also hints at tying up a mystery from canon in what happened to James' parents. The hint that his mother died in St. Mungo's and the effect James would have in associating his mother with that place was really subtle and a wonderful addition.

Another detail I really enjoyed was hearing how Dumbledore thought Sirius had been too reckless. It was a great follow-up from the first story in showing what a dangerous position Sirius put himself in, and fit really well with what we see of Sirius in canon and his recklessness when being shut up in Grimmauld place. I wonder if this incident could be one of the things which showed Dumbledore that this lot were ready to join the Order? I know your partner said they thought of this incident as the first time Lily and James defied Voldy, which I thought was very clever. You just did so marvelously tying the story into canon!

I thought this was a wonderful story and a really original concept which you wrote beautifully. I really enjoyed both the stories! :D

Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle - Review 1 of 10

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Review #7, by ohmymerlin Enduring

1st March 2014:
Hey, Lauren!

Aw, poor James! He's injured! NO ONE HURTS MY JAMES! D:

The way you wrote this was just flawless. My favourite part was the first paragraph. The way you described his pain - 'fiery burn to lick its way' - was just phenomenal. I loved it so much.

The way James and Lily interacted were so well done. They were just beautiful.

Anyway, I clearly loved this story! You did an amazing job of it and it flowed really well with Phoenix Potioneer's one! Great job! ♥

- Kayla :)

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Review #8, by Maelody Enduring

1st March 2014:
Like I told your partner, this is definitely a different take on the challenge compared to others, but I like it! And the difference makes it really refreshing seeing as how I've nearly reviewed all of them now (I only have four left now!) and the fluff-o-meter keeps going up ;).

I told your partner that I hoped to see exactly what happened to James while they were separated, but this makes much more sense and keeps the story from drifting to a completely dark tale. How he stalled for Lily though was really brave, and something I definitely agree that he would do! And I love that how in the first story Lily doesn't focus on if James was going to be with Voldemort or not, but whether or not if he was OK. Again, it helps us believe that she was knowledgable on both stories that he was really just stalling.

I like how you were able to summarize the events of what happened before and after. Poor Sirius! An angry Dumbledore is never fun! But I'm sure, like Lily and James, he doesn't regret it one bit! :)

I don't know if you read it or not, but the way James was waiting to see Lily and trying to get to her reminded me completely of Peeta and Katniss from The Hunger Games. It made my heart break, but I'm so glad everything worked out for them and no one was too damaged! :D

You two worked amazingly well together, and I honestly really liked this turn in the challenge. The best of luck to you two!

~Mae

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Review #9, by Singularity Enduring

28th February 2014:
I just came from reading your partner's story. This is a really nice companion to that piece. The two stories fit really well together, so good job on that front!

I also really liked your characterization of James. You seemed to capture him quite well. It was really endearing how his first thoughts upon waking up was finding Lily, and how he tried to climb out of bed to go in search of her.

I also like that you left James's experiences at the Lestrange's mostly a blank, and instead focused on his relationship with Lily. I thought that was a good choice (especially considering the limited time and word count you had to work with).

The ending was quite sweet. I'm glad it turned out happily.

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Review #10, by nott theodore Enduring

19th February 2014:
Hey Lauren!

An unexpected darkness invaded his memories; it's spindly fingers tearing the scene of happiness at the seams.

Your description in this was fantastic, and I think that line had to be my favourite one of all! I'm impressed with the amount of imagery that you managed to pack into this when we had 72 hours to write, and it was all really lovely as well!

I loved your characterisation in this as well. It felt so natural that the first thing James would think about when he woke up was Lily, and it fits the way I imagine them to be, caring for each other so deeply that the only thing they could love more is Harry, when he comes along. That concern and need to know that Lily was okay felt so natural and believable because of how James and Lily felt about each other. Lily was great as well, the almost guilty way she told him what had happened, and the way that they comforted each other after the horrible experience as well.

I felt so sorry for them when you expanded more on the date that they'd been going on, that they couldn't even have one date without it being ruined by Death Eaters! I liked the emphasis that you put on their age in this as well, because they did feel young and the fact that you pointed out early on they never really got the chance to be young was so sad but true.

I was really glad this had a happy ending, though, because the prequel to this was quite sad and tense, so knowing that both of them were okay and got to see each other was a relief, especially for the Valentine's competition (though with what I wrote I can't really talk :P). Their conversation felt really natural and the last few lines were really adorable. Well done with this!

Sian :)

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Review #11, by HeyMrsPotter Enduring

18th February 2014:
Hey, I just finished reading and reviewing Claudia's part of your entry and now I'm here to do yours!

First off, I love the idea that you both came up with. I like that it was Valentines day but not a good one, it gave a good feel of how the wizarding world would have been during Voldemorts first reign of terror, that two teenagers in love couldn't even do something as simple as celebrate Valentine's Day together.I'm glad there was still a happy ending though!

The imagery you used in this was really excellent, this line in particular I loved:
An unexpected darkness invaded his memories; its spindly fingers tearing the scene of happiness at the seams. There's just such a strong visual there of the reality of what happened interupting the memory of their kiss.

I really really enjoyed reading yours and Claudia's entry for the challenge, thanks for a great read!

Dee :)

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