Reading Reviews for Heart(less)
  
6 Reviews Found

Review #1, by CambAngst Heart(less)

7th July 2014:
Hi, Roots! It's been forever since I've read and reviewed anything of yours, but today is special! I'm here for:

House Cup 2014 Review

You did a really amazing job of capturing Narcissa and Bellatrix. For Lucius, I thought maybe you were a bit too kind to him, but we can quibble over small things in characterization without detracting much from my enjoyment of the story. You know first-hand how much I liked a good writing of Narcissa, and this was definitely a good one.

From a young age, it seems that Narcissa has been dealing with her elder sister's bloodthirsty insanity. The contrast between Bellatrix's ghastly potions and Narcissa's dolls was stark.

Would this have been Lucius and Narcissa's first date? It reads like such a prim, proper pureblood affair. I feel like there should be chamber music in the background. ;) I liked the little thrill that she gets from putting her homework aside and giving in to romance.

Aww, she's going to miss him while she's away for her last year! Again, it was the small touches in this section that really brought it alive for me: the cup of tea, the emptiness of words versus long conversations, the way that he pulls her trunk and holds her hand.

It seems like she doesn't really understand what it means for Lucius to take the Dark Mark in the beginning. Her answer was rather flat and unconcerned. If she only knew...

Lucius was such a dutiful husband while she was giving birth to Draco! Well, mostly. It seems like things got a bit too intense for him from time to time. But he was there. I'll give him points for that.

The scene with Draco getting hurt on his toy brookstick was Narcissa at her best, at least in the way that I always think of her. A woman trapped between the roles of pureblood matriarch and mother. She manages to be both, not without some effort.

Her motherly qualities really shine after Cedric's death. No matter how different their situations might be, she can't think of Cedric without seeing Draco in his place. I remember reading something once along the lines of "every mother sees their own children in every child". Seems very appropriate to this situation.

Then things change dramatically for the worse. I've always felt like Narcissa's greatest strength came to light after Lucius was sent to Azkaban. Life tested her again and again, and she always managed to rise to the occasion.

I like that you did show the changes that Azkaban and the war brought to Lucius. They're perhaps a little deeper than I'd imagined, but very real nonetheless. At the end, when they're tearing through Hogwarts, desperately searching for their son, that captured the real strength you've given the two of them.

Your writing was great in this. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems or anything else that detracted from the beauty of the piece. Great job! Can't wait to see you write some more of Pansy's story. :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by ohmymerlin Heart(less)

28th February 2014:
Hey, Roots!

I got legit CHILLS from this piece! It was absolutely amazing! I loved the clipped tone of the piece, it definitely was very Narcissa-esque!

You captured her personality perfectly, in my opinion. Her and Lucius were just flawless.

Actually, everything was flawless in this piece! I loved it so much, you wrote it so beautifully!

Clearly I loved this. You definitely deserve a 10/10! ♥

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hello! So sorry for the late reply- I really do appreciate the review you left!

I`m so glad that you think so. :) I like the clipped tone of this story as well- it was one of those moments where that was the only way you could write the story, you know?

And I'm so glad that you think I captured their personalities well. I really dislike it when characters are OOC.

Thank you once again for such a fabulous and complimentary review. It really made me smile. :)


 Report Review

Review #3, by Maelody Heart(less)

27th February 2014:
This is such an amazingly written, emotionally charged, and powerful piece. I'm not even kidding. The whole time reading this, I couldn't help but wonder why I've never read this couple before! Sometimes it's hard to forget characters you don't necessarily like are in love with someone, too.

The way this story was written in chopped bits was stunningly perfect. I'll admit, when I read the link to your story, I grew a little weary. Seeing that one was the span of several years, and the other a single moment, and then to see the word count of the one to take place over several years made me wonder. I wasn't sure that such a short story could capture every important, heart-driving moment that you were able to get . You really, really proved me wrong! I don't think another word could be added without ruining it! And anything less would feel shorted. This was perfect. I got goosebumps with the very first passage. Leave it to Bella to know such a thing, and be happy about it. The pause even effected me! I audibly went 'ew' haha. It gives such a nice contrast between Narcissa and the rest if the story as a whole, while still being somewhat grim humor.

I did catch a couple little mistakes though, but nothing big and not all of them are coming to mind. They were really trivial though, like saying "pause" back to back in the very beginning. I think it was just little occupancies like that that happened throughout the story. Not a lot though, but enough to catch the flow just a little but because otherwise this is such an amazing piece. :)

The concept your partner and you came up with is intriguing, and I've loved reading your half! I really can't wait to move on, and may I mention it's another couple I've never looked up. So I'm excited to see what that ship provides and I really wish you two the best of luck! :D

~Mae

 Report Review

Review #4, by nott theodore Heart(less)

19th February 2014:
Hi!

Wow, what a powerful way to start your story! There's no doubt that you'll catch a reader's attention with an opening line like that, and it was so creepy and so in line with Bellatrix's character. It's a really different way to get us thinking about matters of the heart!

I haven't read a lot of Lucius and Narcissa as the main pairing in a story but I really like the way that you've written them here: I think that focusing on events from Narcissa's point of view makes them seem a lot more human. Narcissa is always so reserved in the books and obviously we immediately associate her with the Death Eaters, but here I really warmed to her as a character.

I loved the progression in their relationship, from the point that Lucius first asked her out on a date to their marriage, their son, and finally their lives being torn apart by war. The sections were only short but really effective, and I loved reading them as they progressed. Each one seemed to add a lot to the overall story, and helped the development in your characterisation a lot as well.

I felt really sorry for Narcissa here, and the position that she was put in by Lucius: she loved him and accepted his decision, but his hopes for power and glory spiralled far out of their control and Narcissa and Draco were the main victims of that, I think. I loved the fact that at the end they were searching for Draco and found him, and that you showed that love for family is just as, if not more, important than romantic love - at least, as far as children are concerned.

One of my favourite things was the use of the heart in this piece, from the very beginning with Bellatrix's disturbing information, to the beating hearts and then the way it ended with Narcissa finally being calm. I love circularity in pieces like this as well, and I think you did a great job here. I'm off to read Taylor's story now!

Sian :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by HeyMrsPotter Heart(less)

18th February 2014:
Hello fellow Badger :D I'm plodding on with my reviewing of the speed-dating challenge and yours and Taylors entry is next on my list :)

Lucius/Narcissa isn't a pairing I would read usually, not as the focus in a story, but that's mainly just because of my dislike for him. That being said, I thought you portrayed him and Narcissa brilliantly in this, and made me see a new side to their relationship. I always thought Narcissa was bearable, especially after her big moment in Deathly Hallows, and it was always undeniable that she loved her son and husband. I think you've done an amazing job of taking that simple fact and turning into a beautiful story that almost has me thawing a little in my dislike for Lucius.

I like that you've structured your story in a snap shot way, jumping from one important moment in their lives to the next. The one with Cedric really hit me right in the chest. It shows that Narcissa really lives for her son, and though Lucius loves Draco, that moment shows the difference between his parents.

What I love most about this is that you've given Lucius a more human side in his adoration for his wife, in the little details like this:
Her husband's voice came through the darkness, and then his arms followed, wrapping themselves around her body
and this:
"Because I know. Because itís us."

The little appearences from Bellatrix were great too, very in character, which is something I'm completely envious of because I find her impossible.

Overall, I loved this. I loved the memories you chose, the structure and the beautiful descriptions. Thank you for a great read!

Dee :)

Author's Response: Wow! I really admire your determination to read and review all of the entries!

Haha- Lucius and Narcissa isn't a pairing I typically read or write either, but it was one of the pairings that worked best with the idea for our theme.

However, even though I don't read much of them, I've always seen them as having a loving (though very private and un-demonstrative) relationship. That's the viewpoint that really came across in this story of snapshots.

I really wanted to explore their relationship on the long-term, which is why I chose to write in snap-shots. I went with the moments I felt were most important in their relationship. Even though some of the snap shots were very short, I feel as though the shortness lent more of an impact to the moment.

I'm glad that you liked the scene with Cedric. It was one of the last scenes I wrote, and I added it because it occurred to me that it could be one of the moments that helped Narcissa along the path to separating her allegiances from Voldemort. Because it showed that Draco wouldn't be safe, not really. Not if a pureblood boy was murdered simply for accidentally getting in the way of Voldemort's plans.

As I (might have) said before, I really liked exploring the more loving side of their relationship. They're most certainly not in love's first bloom, but they still very much care about each other.

Haha- I really like Bellatrix- there's just something about her, isn't there? :P Anyway, I'm so glad that you thought she was in character. I find it's easier to write her if she only appears briefly in a story. :)

No, thank you for this lovely review! I really appreciate it! :)


 Report Review

Review #6, by manno_malfoy Heart(less)

17th February 2014:
This was definitely something different. It was not dramatic and there wasn't an actual plot, it felt more like a timeline, but it worked. It simply was, to me, about matters of the heart. The sentences were short and to the point --as goal-oriented as the characters, almost lyrical, almost rhythmic --like a heart beat. Was that intended?

I like that it isn't just about romance, but love within a family and how it held them together. How despite their different perspective on things, that didn't pull them apart. It just had a nice over all feel to it.

And by the way, I LOVE the opening scene. I could totally see it and I admire that it wasn't just a good, breathtaking scene, but it correlates to the rest of the story and kicks everything off perfectly.

Great job, I really enjoyed this. It was light, yet thoughtful. And good luck!

-Manno

Author's Response: Haha- you nailed it right on the head. It was definitely about matters of the heart- one of the common themes for my and ShadowRose's stories was the heart. This entry in particular was meant to mimic the heart beat - so you got it 100% right again. :)

I realize there wasn't much of a plot to this story; as you said, it's much more of a timeline. But what I love about it is that it allowed me to explore the relationship between Lucius and Narcissa over a long period of time. I didn't have to go overly much into detail- I just got to write what was important to get the significance of the moment across, even if it was just a handful of words.

Since I was writing about Lucius and Narcissa, I couldn't leave out Draco. After all, Narcissa's love for both her husband and her child was one of her most obvious characteristics in the books.

I'm SO glad that you liked the opening scene. It was one of my favourite scenes to write- I just love Bellatrix and, as you said, it did tie into the story.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I really appreciate it!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login