Reading Reviews for Heart(less)
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by HermyLuna2 Heart(less)

22nd June 2015:
Hi, I'm here for the House cup, from Hufflepuff.

HAHAHAHA!! The first line was really funny and captivating. Oh Bellatrix! Your take on her is fantastic and definitely in character in my opinion. I think it was very in character for Narcissa to pretend to not be listening to her psycho sister while playing with a doll she has given an actual name. That was sweet.
I like how you describe Lucius through Narcissa's eyes. She almost makes us believe that he's a Prince Charming here. Almost. I like the mention of Bellatrix's affair with Dolohov. A suggestion: I think that the sentence But with Lucius standing before her, there was only one answer... is unneccessary, it would be stronger without it, but that's my opinion. I really like the sentence It was just Lucius, moments before there would be no more of him. .
I wonder why you chose to make Narcissa discover the evil of Voldemort this late? I guess naivity sort of fits with her personality,but this much? Or is it only now that her eyes opened because it suddenly hits closer to home? is she being hypocritical?
I like the way you wrote this, the events you chose and distilled, Narcissa's motherhood and also her relationship being the red thread. Well done! I love your writing style!

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Review #2, by SunshineDaisies Heart(less)

20th June 2015:
House Cup 2015 Hufflepuff

Okay so first off, I have a friend named Acacia and I have literally never heard anyone else use that name and it really took me aback when I read about Narcissa's doll. Okay, so now that that's out of the way, this was such a good story! I love the Malfoys, and I think Naricssa in particular is underdeveloped both in canon and in fanfic, so it's really nice to see her portrayed as an actual human. I love the way you characterized her, she's still got that air of snobbery, but she also loves her husband and loves her son. She doesn't want pureblood supremacy, she just wants her family to be safe and happy. I think this is an especially nice contrast to Bellatrix, who thankfully never had children. It was really a joy to read Narcissa's thoughts on everything as the world turned around her and she lost everything she'd known.

This was really beautifully done. :)

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Review #3, by bittersweetflames Heart(less)

20th June 2015:
First off, I love that you started this fic off with SUCH a scary sentence to which I would have loved to answer Bellatrix with a: "Why are you my sister, again?" Of course, Narcissa's response of it being horrible and Bella's subsequent response of how 'life is splendid' just perfect summed how the two of them are. It's scary how accurately just that one conversation has managed to make them seem. Okay, moving on to the Lucius-Narcissa bits. I loved the way you wrote them courting and falling in love. I like imagining that there had been genuine love and emotion between the two of them no matter how cold they were made to seem in the books. It's keeping with the fact that as little emotion as they show and as cold as they seemed they do love their son so it naturally follows that the two must really love each other. I think it's sad how a wrong belief and years spent in war could completely erode at any soft feelings that must have been present. But I loved the way you ended it. In the ended, her heart only asks for one thing and that is the safety of her family. I am very glad that she has gotten it. :)

House Cup 2015 Amazing Race Part 2, Ravenclaw

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Review #4, by tangledconstellations Heart(less)

20th June 2015:
Reviewing for Ravenclaw, for the House Cup 2015.


Lucius and Narcissa are my all-time favourite canon couple. I really feel like there's a wealth of emotion and so many stories between them, and so, naturally, I had to read this. This was absolutely fantastic, and I am in awe of how effective and powerful this was! I loved the structure, the way you stagger their moments, the way some are a few lines long and they transport you to a new place, whereas others are just fleeting little moments. This was honestly like poetry. It reminded me of a broken, jarring movie real - showing moments that aren't quite full, or are... it was just awesome.

I really like the way you've characterised Narcissa here. She's the character out of the two of them that fascinates me the most. I do always see in her a woman who is just so loyal to her family, who has so much faith in the power of the three of them, that it sort of overcomes all other doubts. But at the same time, here she did have doubts. You let her be human, you let her panic and worry - but, the line that got me - through it all she had a 'heart that refused to break'. She is strong, and I love how you've written her so much.

But then this in itself makes me think about your title, and how it ties in to this whole piece. Heartless. Is she heartless? Or has she been hollowed out from everything that has happened to them? I love the way the title adds an extra facet to this piece. It's so cleverly done, and just adds to what I see is the mystery of the Malfoys. Thank you for sharing this on the archive - it was brilliant.

Laura xxx

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Review #5, by foreverfleur Heart(less)

17th May 2015:
I love writing Narcissa's POV. She is so underdeveloped in the books, that is leaves much room for us to play around with. I've never paired her with Lucius in my own stories, so much so that I have forgotten how much fun the canon can be. This was great! The snapshots were quick, but incisive. I like your characterization of Lucius in particular. In fact, your characterizations keep getting better with every story you write. Nice work!

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Review #6, by The Happy Lady Heart(less)

25th April 2015:

I am The Happy Lady. My friend over at the forums have seen you around there. She really wanted to come over and leave a review, but she cannot do so for safety reasons. You see, she is hiding from the King of Westeros, Joffrey I believe his name was. Coming here would reveal her location and secret name, so I decided to go in her stead. That is why I am here.

So to the story. I am going to be honest and say I do like happy stories more. I am The Happy Lady, after all, so I really am supposed to. But I think it was good, even if it was not the most happy story I have read, because you really captured these characters. I found them to be very believable. While I am not that familiar with this universe you are writing in, I do know a little thanks to my friend and her love of Harry Potter. And I thought your characterisation was very good, very true to the books but also adding new elements to their characters. So I really liked it, and I even got chills!

The chopped parts were interesting. I have seen it before, of course, but I have always been a little against that way of telling a story. I think it needs to be done well for it to work, and so far there have been few stories that have managed to do just that. But I really think you did it right, because this style of writing definitely worked here.

I wish I could stay a little longer, but I am afraid I have to go now. As The Happy Lady, it is my duty to spread happiness all around. And there are still much for me to do, so I cannot spend any more time here. But I hope you understood that I liked the story. I will probably not be back, but I am sure you will see my friend over at the forums. So if you ever want to reach me, tell her and she will overbring the message to me.

May you have a happy day!

Lots of Love

The Happy Lady

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Review #7, by Secret Santa!! Heart(less)

29th December 2014:
(Guess who's back, back again. Santa's back, tell a friend.)

Hey! How's Christmas been treating you? The Christmas elves are on their way with not only this review but an extra special other gift TOO! Hint: it's a banner for this story, which I noticed was bannerless and thought you might enjoy having something pretty to decorate it with! Don't feel pressured to use it if you don't like it though :p

Anyway -- onto the story!!

Bellatrix in that first scene is so spot on I could legitimately cry. Her eyes 'glittering' instantly reminded me of that malicious little glint we all know is there, the first signs of insanity. It's great seeing how she and Narcissa bounce off each other too. Their dynamic is so stark even in these few short sentences.

Lucius inviting Narcissa to Hogsmeade is too cute. I never really imagine stuff like that, but even stuffy old Purebloods had to stick a leg out for romance every once in a while. I always figured that their marriage was arranged but I also like this version and think it works quite well within canon. Also, it adds another layer to Lucius' character which, although I did think was quite lenient from what we know of him, is a refreshing take. Things like him holding onto her trunk in the next scenes as they say goodbye show me and other readers that he actually is capable of compassion. Which. Is. Adorable.

I'm not going to carry on commenting on every scene... I'll just say that overall I think you truly captured the very essence of Narcissa, remaining within the constraints of canon whilst also adding your own flavour. She's family-oriented, as we know her to be, and much calmer and wiser and warmer than Bellatrix, open to a loving family. The only thing I think would've made this story better was a cameo from Andromeda! That would've been neat.

Anyway, this was a great oneshot. Perhaps I'll come back and favourite once this secret stuff is over ;)

So sorry for such a horribly long review D:


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Review #8, by CambAngst Heart(less)

7th July 2014:
Hi, Roots! It's been forever since I've read and reviewed anything of yours, but today is special! I'm here for:

House Cup 2014 Review

You did a really amazing job of capturing Narcissa and Bellatrix. For Lucius, I thought maybe you were a bit too kind to him, but we can quibble over small things in characterization without detracting much from my enjoyment of the story. You know first-hand how much I liked a good writing of Narcissa, and this was definitely a good one.

From a young age, it seems that Narcissa has been dealing with her elder sister's bloodthirsty insanity. The contrast between Bellatrix's ghastly potions and Narcissa's dolls was stark.

Would this have been Lucius and Narcissa's first date? It reads like such a prim, proper pureblood affair. I feel like there should be chamber music in the background. ;) I liked the little thrill that she gets from putting her homework aside and giving in to romance.

Aww, she's going to miss him while she's away for her last year! Again, it was the small touches in this section that really brought it alive for me: the cup of tea, the emptiness of words versus long conversations, the way that he pulls her trunk and holds her hand.

It seems like she doesn't really understand what it means for Lucius to take the Dark Mark in the beginning. Her answer was rather flat and unconcerned. If she only knew...

Lucius was such a dutiful husband while she was giving birth to Draco! Well, mostly. It seems like things got a bit too intense for him from time to time. But he was there. I'll give him points for that.

The scene with Draco getting hurt on his toy brookstick was Narcissa at her best, at least in the way that I always think of her. A woman trapped between the roles of pureblood matriarch and mother. She manages to be both, not without some effort.

Her motherly qualities really shine after Cedric's death. No matter how different their situations might be, she can't think of Cedric without seeing Draco in his place. I remember reading something once along the lines of "every mother sees their own children in every child". Seems very appropriate to this situation.

Then things change dramatically for the worse. I've always felt like Narcissa's greatest strength came to light after Lucius was sent to Azkaban. Life tested her again and again, and she always managed to rise to the occasion.

I like that you did show the changes that Azkaban and the war brought to Lucius. They're perhaps a little deeper than I'd imagined, but very real nonetheless. At the end, when they're tearing through Hogwarts, desperately searching for their son, that captured the real strength you've given the two of them.

Your writing was great in this. I didn't see any typos or grammatical problems or anything else that detracted from the beauty of the piece. Great job! Can't wait to see you write some more of Pansy's story. :)

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Review #9, by ohmymerlin Heart(less)

28th February 2014:
Hey, Roots!

I got legit CHILLS from this piece! It was absolutely amazing! I loved the clipped tone of the piece, it definitely was very Narcissa-esque!

You captured her personality perfectly, in my opinion. Her and Lucius were just flawless.

Actually, everything was flawless in this piece! I loved it so much, you wrote it so beautifully!

Clearly I loved this. You definitely deserve a 10/10! ♥

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Hello! So sorry for the late reply- I really do appreciate the review you left!

I`m so glad that you think so. :) I like the clipped tone of this story as well- it was one of those moments where that was the only way you could write the story, you know?

And I'm so glad that you think I captured their personalities well. I really dislike it when characters are OOC.

Thank you once again for such a fabulous and complimentary review. It really made me smile. :)

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Review #10, by Maelody Heart(less)

27th February 2014:
This is such an amazingly written, emotionally charged, and powerful piece. I'm not even kidding. The whole time reading this, I couldn't help but wonder why I've never read this couple before! Sometimes it's hard to forget characters you don't necessarily like are in love with someone, too.

The way this story was written in chopped bits was stunningly perfect. I'll admit, when I read the link to your story, I grew a little weary. Seeing that one was the span of several years, and the other a single moment, and then to see the word count of the one to take place over several years made me wonder. I wasn't sure that such a short story could capture every important, heart-driving moment that you were able to get . You really, really proved me wrong! I don't think another word could be added without ruining it! And anything less would feel shorted. This was perfect. I got goosebumps with the very first passage. Leave it to Bella to know such a thing, and be happy about it. The pause even effected me! I audibly went 'ew' haha. It gives such a nice contrast between Narcissa and the rest if the story as a whole, while still being somewhat grim humor.

I did catch a couple little mistakes though, but nothing big and not all of them are coming to mind. They were really trivial though, like saying "pause" back to back in the very beginning. I think it was just little occupancies like that that happened throughout the story. Not a lot though, but enough to catch the flow just a little but because otherwise this is such an amazing piece. :)

The concept your partner and you came up with is intriguing, and I've loved reading your half! I really can't wait to move on, and may I mention it's another couple I've never looked up. So I'm excited to see what that ship provides and I really wish you two the best of luck! :D


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Review #11, by nott theodore Heart(less)

19th February 2014:

Wow, what a powerful way to start your story! There's no doubt that you'll catch a reader's attention with an opening line like that, and it was so creepy and so in line with Bellatrix's character. It's a really different way to get us thinking about matters of the heart!

I haven't read a lot of Lucius and Narcissa as the main pairing in a story but I really like the way that you've written them here: I think that focusing on events from Narcissa's point of view makes them seem a lot more human. Narcissa is always so reserved in the books and obviously we immediately associate her with the Death Eaters, but here I really warmed to her as a character.

I loved the progression in their relationship, from the point that Lucius first asked her out on a date to their marriage, their son, and finally their lives being torn apart by war. The sections were only short but really effective, and I loved reading them as they progressed. Each one seemed to add a lot to the overall story, and helped the development in your characterisation a lot as well.

I felt really sorry for Narcissa here, and the position that she was put in by Lucius: she loved him and accepted his decision, but his hopes for power and glory spiralled far out of their control and Narcissa and Draco were the main victims of that, I think. I loved the fact that at the end they were searching for Draco and found him, and that you showed that love for family is just as, if not more, important than romantic love - at least, as far as children are concerned.

One of my favourite things was the use of the heart in this piece, from the very beginning with Bellatrix's disturbing information, to the beating hearts and then the way it ended with Narcissa finally being calm. I love circularity in pieces like this as well, and I think you did a great job here. I'm off to read Taylor's story now!

Sian :)

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Review #12, by HeyMrsPotter Heart(less)

18th February 2014:
Hello fellow Badger :D I'm plodding on with my reviewing of the speed-dating challenge and yours and Taylors entry is next on my list :)

Lucius/Narcissa isn't a pairing I would read usually, not as the focus in a story, but that's mainly just because of my dislike for him. That being said, I thought you portrayed him and Narcissa brilliantly in this, and made me see a new side to their relationship. I always thought Narcissa was bearable, especially after her big moment in Deathly Hallows, and it was always undeniable that she loved her son and husband. I think you've done an amazing job of taking that simple fact and turning into a beautiful story that almost has me thawing a little in my dislike for Lucius.

I like that you've structured your story in a snap shot way, jumping from one important moment in their lives to the next. The one with Cedric really hit me right in the chest. It shows that Narcissa really lives for her son, and though Lucius loves Draco, that moment shows the difference between his parents.

What I love most about this is that you've given Lucius a more human side in his adoration for his wife, in the little details like this:
Her husband's voice came through the darkness, and then his arms followed, wrapping themselves around her body
and this:
"Because I know. Because itís us."

The little appearences from Bellatrix were great too, very in character, which is something I'm completely envious of because I find her impossible.

Overall, I loved this. I loved the memories you chose, the structure and the beautiful descriptions. Thank you for a great read!

Dee :)

Author's Response: Wow! I really admire your determination to read and review all of the entries!

Haha- Lucius and Narcissa isn't a pairing I typically read or write either, but it was one of the pairings that worked best with the idea for our theme.

However, even though I don't read much of them, I've always seen them as having a loving (though very private and un-demonstrative) relationship. That's the viewpoint that really came across in this story of snapshots.

I really wanted to explore their relationship on the long-term, which is why I chose to write in snap-shots. I went with the moments I felt were most important in their relationship. Even though some of the snap shots were very short, I feel as though the shortness lent more of an impact to the moment.

I'm glad that you liked the scene with Cedric. It was one of the last scenes I wrote, and I added it because it occurred to me that it could be one of the moments that helped Narcissa along the path to separating her allegiances from Voldemort. Because it showed that Draco wouldn't be safe, not really. Not if a pureblood boy was murdered simply for accidentally getting in the way of Voldemort's plans.

As I (might have) said before, I really liked exploring the more loving side of their relationship. They're most certainly not in love's first bloom, but they still very much care about each other.

Haha- I really like Bellatrix- there's just something about her, isn't there? :P Anyway, I'm so glad that you thought she was in character. I find it's easier to write her if she only appears briefly in a story. :)

No, thank you for this lovely review! I really appreciate it! :)

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Review #13, by manno_malfoy Heart(less)

17th February 2014:
This was definitely something different. It was not dramatic and there wasn't an actual plot, it felt more like a timeline, but it worked. It simply was, to me, about matters of the heart. The sentences were short and to the point --as goal-oriented as the characters, almost lyrical, almost rhythmic --like a heart beat. Was that intended?

I like that it isn't just about romance, but love within a family and how it held them together. How despite their different perspective on things, that didn't pull them apart. It just had a nice over all feel to it.

And by the way, I LOVE the opening scene. I could totally see it and I admire that it wasn't just a good, breathtaking scene, but it correlates to the rest of the story and kicks everything off perfectly.

Great job, I really enjoyed this. It was light, yet thoughtful. And good luck!


Author's Response: Haha- you nailed it right on the head. It was definitely about matters of the heart- one of the common themes for my and ShadowRose's stories was the heart. This entry in particular was meant to mimic the heart beat - so you got it 100% right again. :)

I realize there wasn't much of a plot to this story; as you said, it's much more of a timeline. But what I love about it is that it allowed me to explore the relationship between Lucius and Narcissa over a long period of time. I didn't have to go overly much into detail- I just got to write what was important to get the significance of the moment across, even if it was just a handful of words.

Since I was writing about Lucius and Narcissa, I couldn't leave out Draco. After all, Narcissa's love for both her husband and her child was one of her most obvious characteristics in the books.

I'm SO glad that you liked the opening scene. It was one of my favourite scenes to write- I just love Bellatrix and, as you said, it did tie into the story.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review! I really appreciate it!

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