Reading Reviews for Changing Paths
  
5 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PolyJuice_ A Different Kind of Departure

13th March 2014:
BLACKOUT BATTLE~ 16/20

Ooh, I liked this story. The relationships between characters was really fun to read. They all seem well rounded, rather than flat. Such drama in the first chapter, eh? This'll be exciting to see where it goes! I can't wait to see where you're taking this story - it'll be fun to see.

The bit at the start about days and months was intersting, it gives us a nice insight as to her character without actually telling us anything. It was a neat thing to add. Throughout the story you have little bits there that indirectly tell us things about the characters which I really like.

Anyway, awesome chapter here!

Liz

Author's Response: Thanks, glad you like it!

 Report Review

Review #2, by AccioTeddyLupin The Mysterious Visit

9th March 2014:
I like the story but a lot of dialogue is fuzzy or not making sense. And it seems that somebody just 'forgets' something or 'just remembers' like Grace just remembered there was a quidditch game...and im pretty sure you cant have a quidditch game at night because then you wouldn't be able to see the snitch??

Anyways I think im being to harsh here so sorry. I love the plot and Lexy is a pretty boss character.

Author's Response: I can see what you mean but I think it can go both ways. I guess it makes more sense that way though. And yeah, *facepalm* of course. I guess my brain wasn't turned on; I'll fix the time of the quidditch game or maybe I'll just take that part out because it's kinda fller-y. But thanks for the advice, you weren't being too harsh don't worry (: I'll try reading it out loud for the dialogue to fix anything else that needs to be changed.

 Report Review

Review #3, by Lululuna A Different Kind of Departure

6th March 2014:
Hello! :)

This seems like a great start to your story! I quite like your main character - she has a very funny inner monologue and seems very light-hearted and a fun person to be around. I also like how she's a Muggleborn yet her and her friends identify more strongly with being magical - the line about Ava saying that Muggles are strange made me giggle.

The owl ambush and seeing stars made me laugh as well! I imagine that would be quite common with wizards and owls. :P The little anecdotes and mishaps, like the frog in the toilet, were funny as well and did a good job of building up the characters.

You get all excited for the day and then when it comes and you sit there after writing the first word of a fifteen page essay due the next day you regret not going along with your plan to move to Zimbabwe. This is so true! Haha, Lexy seems really relatable already. You did a good job of capturing that September, first day of school feeling and excitement before the old routine settles in.

So Veronica Reid seems very pleasant, doesn't she? :P I'm curious about why they hate one another so much, and how this is going to affect Lexy's year. Nastiness is never good, but rivalries can be fun! :)

This was an interesting first chapter, and it made me laugh! :) You seem to have a great cast of characters so far, and I really enjoyed reading this!

Gry/Sly Battle Round 2 - Review 9 of 15

Author's Response: Thanks I'm glad you liked it! c:

 Report Review

Review #4, by adluvshp A Different Kind of Departure

3rd March 2014:
Blackout Battle!

Well, this was a good start to your story. I like your main character Delilah, she seems interesting. I also liked your narrative and how you provided some information on her and her life. The beginning of the story was done nicely and I quite liked it.

I noticed a few typos here and there and some grammar errors which I think can be smoothed out if you take the help of a beta. I also think your writing is nice and has room for improvement, so keep writing =)

I like your characters so far and the plot looks fun. Good job!

Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Thank you xx I actually fixed the typos the other day along with some other changes, so it should be validated soon.

 Report Review

Review #5, by Iellwen A Different Kind of Departure

1st March 2014:
Hi there, it's bingo time! :D

You had a few little typos:
'This'll be our best year yet. I can't see it now.'
'They shoul make those'
'can'r always trust the scale'

Maybe that's just me, but I was a bit confused when she was laying on her bed and then knocked on to her bed ^^
And did the bat hit her or was it her owl? Either way; must have hurt - she did see the pretty stars ;)

Why did Delilah call Veronica Harning "Brown"? Because of her hair color? :D I wonder what her 'clan' looks like (besides being a flock of mean girls, of course^^)

This is quite a nice introduction to your story and to Delilah!
This chapter sets a fun mood, shows her her a bit of her background and the reader learns about her and her friends and the rival. It promises a fun ride! :D

Author's Response: Whoops... I think I was planning on making her last name Brown but I changed it. I'll fix that and the other typos now. I appreciate the advice. (:

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login