Reading Reviews for Survival Instinct
277 Reviews Found

Review #1, by GalaxyDefender How to: Quidditch

7th October 2015:
Thus is such a great story. You've managed the mystery and funny and parts so well, i cant wait to find out what happens, and why all the attacks, and if James ever gets his stuff together and has the 'talk' with her. Though to be honest the way I plan it out in my head has got nothing on what you've got in store (I hope) so please update quickly

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Review #2, by jannnnnu How to: Quidditch

23rd September 2015:
Hey, you alright in there? I was rereading again and noticed you commenting over a month back that the next chapter was coming out soon and since it's been long, I got a bit worried..
The story is brilliant, as always, love the humor and the style of writing, the plot, the relationships, THE CHARACTERS. OH, FITZ. AND MARLEY. AND JAMES. AND FRED. AND JUST EVERYONE. Right. It's 3am, I think I should try to sleep now. Hope all is well :)

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Review #3, by Shasta How to: Quidditch

8th September 2015:
Oh, please, PLEASE come back!

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Review #4, by AntiSeska How to: Quidditch

6th September 2015:
Oh dear, I've started checking for updates multiple times a day.
Oh, well. It'll be worth it when the next chapter comes out.

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Review #5, by Alicelost How to: Quidditch

27th August 2015:
This story is so good Ive just read the entire thing in one day please please please update (with a lot of chapters) soon

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Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell How to: Quidditch

20th August 2015:
WELL! You have got yourself a new fan. I am LOVING this story. It's hilarious, and you really do a great job of mixing the humor and the drama. I've been marathon reading this all day and catching up is kind of bittersweet, but I will be favoriting this and eagerly awaiting the next update. it's so good. This is one of the best humor fics I've read in a while.

With regards to this chapter, in particular:

Pelican is an exceptional name for an owl.

Okay, well Albus was just...supah creepy. Whole new levels of creeperdom were reached.

I'm glad that Marley is owling her grandfather--it's nice that she has a bit more family to reach out to, now. But I'm worried that he'll be attacked, too. And I'm definitely wondering if this is why her mother left. After all, she didn't just give up being a wife and a mom--she gave up all contact with her parents, as well? Maybe they just didn't have a good relationship, but that definitely struck me as a bit odd, in the first place. And now I'm wondering if she knows about this group--if maybe they were after her years ago and she left to protect James and Marley. Or I suppose it's possible that she's part of this group? But I'm kinda hoping it's the former, because while that is capital B Bad, it at least might make her leaving more bearable. If she left to go, like, join evil, then that would be caps lock BAD bad.

Of course, it might be none of those things. I'm just hazarding some guesses.

And Marley went to a Quidditch game. It was so cute how excited James was to see her. And it was almost equally cute how excited Fred was to see her. I love their friendship.

And James is just there, not demanding answers of her, just being understanding? My heart! That boy has definitely come up a long way in my estimation from chapter one.

Loved this bit:

“No idea what you’re talking about. I just don’t want anyone to die is all,” I said, sniffing. “Dangerous, pointless game, this.”

Oh, and I think I forgot to mention--I'm really glad that Marley and Andrea are speaking again. Hopefully they can put all that behind them. But I am still dying to know what was up with James at lunch the other day!

CC: Oh, by the way, I always try to give CC in all my reviews. I find it really helpful when I'm doing edits, because it means I don't have to go over everything with a fine-toothed comb, because people have pointed out stuff for me.

There was space on the bench empty next to Fitz,
--That sentence is a little confusing. "There was an empty space on the bench next to Fitz," might work a but better.

“Oh, not all match are like this,”
--"match" should be "matches"

I wasn’t in the mood to fight with Potter, so I had resigned to following him absently by the time we reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.
--I think it should probably be, "I had resigned myself to following him absently..."

I could smell the shampoo he’s recently used.
--"he's" should probably be "he'd"

I concluded that I was sat on Potter’s bed.
--"was sat" ought to be "was sitting"

I am just loving Marley so much as an MC, and Fitz and James and Fred and the whole gang are so great! I'm really excited to have found such an excellent humor fic. I've been writing mostly angst of late, and I need some levity to break it all up. This is perfect! Just what I've been looking for. It's well-written and the characters are well developed and the plot moves along at a nice clip and there's plenty of detail! I'm so, so glad I've run across this! It's a real gem. Thanks so much for sharing it with us!


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Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell How to: violence

20th August 2015:
I think you did a really good job with this chapter. I felt Marley's frustration and worry and anger. I mean, I understand that Charles doesn't want her to worry, but he's pretty much her only family. She needs to know what's going on with him. She'll only be more anxious knowing that if he wasn't okay, no one would tell her.

Getting to watch Marley meet Harry Potter was definitely interesting. I like the way you wrote him. He came across as wise, but very relaxed--still the Harry we knew. And he certainly seems to know a bit about her.

“Well, James certainly has his work cut out for him.”
--Snaps for you, Harry Potter. Truer words were never spoken.

Highlight reel: That’s right; it took two professional killers and the saviour of the wizarding world to stop me from murdering my father.


I was sat in his lap
--"sat" ought to be "sitting"

Several times in this chapter, Marley was misspelled as "Marely".

I loved the end. I'm so glad that James finally called Marley out on her use of humor to drive people away. And I understand, because I can do the same thing, but you have to have people in your life who will make you leave off the jokes and open up and be real for a minute. I'm glad that James is being one of those people for her.


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Review #8, by Penelope Inkwell  How to manage disaster

20th August 2015:
Grandpa nodded at the hostess and she immediately snapped into action, greeting us with a too large, frozen smile, and leading us to a table in the corner.
--you described that smile so well. I could picture exactly that kind of waitress-y smile.

And, just like that, I was faced with the task of explaining to my grandfather, a man who had lived through two wars, that my then borderline hippie parents (one of whom was his absent daughter neither of us had seen in years) that I had been named after a Muggle Jamaican man who wrote songs about recreational drugs for a living.

Oh my gosh, I hope Charles is okay. That moment with James was really sweet, but I'm just really worried.


“You wouldn’t picked that out if you weren’t on the verge of a mental breakdown.
--I think this is meant to be, "You would've picked that out if..."

I’d never really had any reason to ponder about the other possibilities.
--you'd usually just say, "to ponder the other possibilities." I don't know that you can really ponder about things. I think you just ponder them.

I began to wonder if I’d just approached a stranger in to street.
--"to" = "the"

I'm really, really enjoying this story. I'm also really nervous. Poor Marley! The girl really cannot catch a break.


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Review #9, by Penelope Inkwell How to save the day

20th August 2015:
Well, I'm glad that Wheeler apologized. I still wouldn't trust him, exactly, but at least he seemed sincere. Accept the apology and give him a wide berth, that's what I'd say.

I'm also glad Marley was able to use the situation to her advantage. And what the boys had done was really sweet!

“Yeah, but it’s different when Mum sends me stuff. It’s like a reinforcement of her love.”
--It's so true! Care packages are like a hug.

Highlight reel: Fitz popped the last piece of liquorice wand in his mouth and chewed it with such sass that I briefly considered dropping out of Hogwarts to be his pageant mom so we could take over the world with Fitz and his taffeta dresses.
--What an image that is!


He beam.
--"beam" = "beamed"


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Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell How to lose friends

20th August 2015:
They're snowball war was SOOO CUTE!

And Marley's tactics were really inspired. Turrets? Snowman guards? Enchanted snowballs. That's the kind of snowball fight I'd like to be in. If I could do magic and wasn't just royally outclassed.

but poor Andrea. Don't get me wrong. I've never believed that you can, like, call dibs on a person. It sucks when you like someone who likes your friend, but the truth is that you can't just lay claim to someone and have that be that. It's a bad situation, and it's fair for Andrea to be hurt, but it's not fair of her to blame Marley or to hold it against her, long term.

I hope their friendship can weather it, though. I like Andrea. It'd be sad if something as silly as this caused lasting damage to their relationship.


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Review #11, by Penelope Inkwell How to be in the loop

20th August 2015:
I think my heart just wilted, like a sad little flower. Poor Fitz. Like, that really hurt. :(


I wonder what James was thinking when Marley asked Fred to be her date.


‘An ongoing investigation in being conducted
--"in" = "is"

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Review #12, by Penelope Inkwell How to get a date

20th August 2015:
Professor Lupin hadn’t shown us his own Patronus (probably because it was a salmon or something equally humiliating)
--I literally laughed out loud at this. I actually snorted.

Marley's got the right idea. That's gonna be my new tactic. You find the hot guys, wait until they are weak or ill, and then you pounce and demand a date. They'll agree just to make the headache stop. It's terrifyingly brilliant. Should have tried that ages ago. I can see a few potential downsides, but, on the whole...

And I love how James and Marley had an entire crowd of oohing and awwing Gryffindors as their wake-up call. I think Lily definitely ships it.


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Review #13, by Penelope Inkwell How to be a drunk

20th August 2015:

The sails of this ship have finally caught a decent wind. Now we're getting somewhere.

It might be a while before we're sailing off into the sunset, but I feel like we might at least be heading towards the open sea.

Am I taking this metaphor too far? Too bad! I'm too excited to care! Jamesley is a go! :)


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Review #14, by Penelope Inkwell How to be a jerk

20th August 2015:
“When will you lot start minding your own business?” he snapped at no one in particular.


Man. Marley just cannot catch a break. And I do feel a bit bad for James. It's obvious that he would fix the Andrea situation if he knew how.

I still think she should go as the Giant Squid. What kind of Halloween party doesn't involve costumes, I ask you? Work it, Marley!


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Review #15, by Penelope Inkwell How to make friends

20th August 2015:
I love Marley. I really do. This settles it.

And I'm glad that James asked her to go. It proves he isn't a total jerk.


Maybe it was because neither Bridgette nor Henri had written me back for almost a three week.
--Maybe: "for almost three weeks"?

and some band that I’d ever heard of.
--I think this was meant to be "some band that I'd never heard of."


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Review #16, by Penelope Inkwell How to: drama

20th August 2015:
I like how even amidst all the drama, you work in plenty of humor. It makes Marley a really great protagonist.

Uuuugh! Aaron is such a creeper. And a jerk! And several other terms I can't use here because review have to be 12+. And I do not trust Roger, given that he was totally fine with that going down. I understand Dom's reaction, though. She clearly is one of those people who thinks the best of everyone, and she barely knows Marley. I get why Marley reacted the way she did--I mean, she was really worried and had just been through an upsetting, scary experience--but there's almost no way it could have worked, changing Dom's mind like that. I hope she's okay.

"Dom and Fitz (Ditz?); I shipped it.
--Ohmygosh their couple name is Ditz! I love it!

- “I promise I won’t steal anything,” I said, smiling broadly.
- “See, I never thought about that until you said it,” he said uncertainly.

--This exchange cracked me up

And is James being...nice? Or at least nice-ish? Character development! Of course, Fitz said he's a good guy, and I believe that he might usually be. But so far he hasn't been great to Marley, so this is a new side of him


Dom and I had agreed that we’d go a little later just so that there were already people there and there was a little
chance that James would spot Dom at all.

--I think this sentence might make more sense if "would" was replaced with "wouldn't".

"I felt like that would be better in dozes.
--"dozes" = "doses"

Another great chapter. I am HOOKED!


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Review #17, by Penelope Inkwell How to: nicknames

20th August 2015:
Oh, come on. Charles has been her father for...what, 17 years? Even I knew that wasn't going to work.

In other news, I really like the nickname Freddy-Bear.

James has gotten a bit obsessed, hasn't he? Of course, one might say the same of Marley...

James looked from Fitz o Fred to me
--"o" = "to"

Fred seemed to realize what he’s said grinned sheepishly at me.
--I think "he's" should be "he'd". Otherwise we're switching tenses.


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Review #18, by Penelope Inkwell How to be a paranoid freak

20th August 2015:
Oh my goodness! I hope everything is okay with her dad. I mean, you'd think that if it wasn't, she'd have heard, but it sounds like he's doing something really dangerous.

I'm definitely looking forward to finding out more about the ins and outs of the Potter-Weasley clan. There seem to be some interesting undercurrents going on there.


it was so blatantly clear to me how difficult he was trying not to care.
--something seems not-quite-right about the phrasing here. I think it's the word "difficult". Maybe if it was switched out with "hard"?

I had been a little weary of that fact that no one seemed to have heard anything about the incident at the Quidditch pitch,
--I think "weary" should be "wary", and the first "that" should be a "the. So, "I had been a little wary of the fact that..."


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Review #19, by Penelope Inkwell How to troll

20th August 2015:
Those girls are crazy. CRAZY! Thank heavens for Fred and Dom. It's nice to know that there are some sane people at Hogwarts. Even if they are all related to James.

Man, the eggs, the bacon, the ham, the sausage. At this rate Fitz is going to have to go onto some all-liquid diet. Or maybe just avoid breakfast foods.

“Did I just speak to Dominique Weasley in Dothraki?”

“I don’t know what that is, but yes; I think you did.”


But was he really speaking in Dothraki? Did that mean anything?


He’d cleared his throat loudly and stood there with his arms cross, looking away while he waited for me to move.
--I think it should be "with his arms crossed".

All of them were eyeing my wand wearily
--I think "wearily" here should maybe be "warily". And there's a time above when you say everyone is "justifiably weary of" Marley . Weary does work there, but I was wondering if it was meant to be "wary".

I can’t ask my cousins go
I think you're missing a "to" in front of go.

After all, this was the man who allowed a six year old to run around yielding a pestle.
-- "yielding" should be "wielding"

Another great chapter. Humor, drama. I am loving this!


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Review #20, by Penelope Inkwell How to dig yourself into a hole

20th August 2015:
Woah. That was intense.

Okay, rewind. Marley's handling of the situation with Hobbes was masterful. I'm glad that at least some of the students were able to see that it was funny.

But man. The James fan club. I'm of mixed opinions. On the one hand, I can see his point--what they did to her with that projector thing was really crappy. He'd had no part in it--and it looks like he tried to stop it--so I can understand why he wouldn't want to be associated with that accusation.

But she's right that he needs to accept responsibility, because all these people are doing these things on his behalf, and he hasn't tried to call them off. He could easily put an end to it, and he hasn't, so he does bear some responsibility. As for his accusation that she came in being snooty...not really? She came in and found probably the least popular person, and chose to hang out with him over the "cool" people because she could see that he was nice. The only thing she ever did was turn down James and his little crew at the party, and you know what? They were being creepy. I'd have told them off, too. And James' flippin' ego was so hurt that he started this whole mess.

James Potter needs to look an a mirror and do some serious introspection before he starts pointing fingers, if you ask me.


Not the he can even prove it was me anyway.”
--"the" here should be "that"

This chapter was a wild ride from start to finish. I'm definitely interested to know what the fallout is gonna be.


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Review #21, by Penelope Inkwell How to plan revenge

20th August 2015:
That bit at the beginning when she and Fitz team up against Teddy? Priceless.

“I’d be careful around that one,” I heard him say to James.
--For some reason, this line just cracked me up. I think it was the timing. Good job.

I like that Rose is pro-Marley! I'm looking forward to finding out more about the rest of the Weasleys/Potters.

And I am both excited and terrified to find out what Marley has done...


Portions wasn’t worth attending.
--"Portions" should be "Potions"

Then, as quietly possible, I tiptoed out of the room.
--I think it should probably be "as quietly as possible..."

Another great chapter!


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Review #22, by Penelope Inkwell How to react to public humiliation

20th August 2015:
Oh my gosh, this is hilarious!

Although, honestly, James in the girls' domitory--I'd agree with Marley. Creeper alert. So far he comes across as just...ugh.

Though I must say that, as a prank, putting a bad love letter into a Howler and setting it loose in the Great Hall? Inspired.

That bit where they're all talking over one another in Teddy's office was a really excellent piece of dialogue. It all knitted together and you could tell who was speaking without being told outright and it was just very funny.

Nice work!


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Review #23, by Penelope Inkwell How to sign your own death warrant (in style)

20th August 2015:
Hi! Okay, so this had caught my eye somewhere, and it's been sitting on my reading list, and I thought I'd come check it out because it looked fun.

And it IS fun!

I really like the lighthearted, joke-y tone you've got going on here. Marley seems like a great MC, and Fitz is already worming his way into my heart.

Now we'll just have to see how Marley handles this newest setback. Should be interestig.


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Review #24, by MalfoyMannor How to dig yourself into a hole

11th August 2015:
Marley is an evil genius :P

Dramma :D I love it

Author's Response: Yes, yes she is!
Drama is the best. Thanks for leaving a review! I'm so glad you like it :')

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Review #25, by MalfoyMannor How to react to public humiliation

11th August 2015:
I love Fitz :) he's hilarious

Author's Response: Aww thanks! So glad you like it!! :)

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