Reading Reviews for NED
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by toomanycurls 1

16th May 2014:
I'm (finally) here to review for the competition!!

I really loved this. I think that if a guy hit on me quoting Princess Bride, I'd be a goner! You made Molly quite relatable with her jealousy and focus on a career and professional achievements rather than being sought after by a gaggle of boys. You also did a great job with Gregory - I have a slight lit crush on him. I like that he listened and that he his witty enough to think of NED. Was that something he thought of on the spot or is that part of his usual line?

I adored your use of Princess Bride in this story - I just have to say. Even better was that Molly got the references and that they endeared Gregory to her.

Having Gregory visit Molly at work was a bit adorable. I like that he was all cautious about crossing the line. In my head they both ran off into the sunset and eventually cured Molly of NED. *sigh*

Quite a wonderful job, Lo!

With luck (and some concentration) I'll get the results posted this weekend.


Author's Response: Hiya Rose!

Thanks for this amazing review! I'm so glad you liked it because I loved this challenge! :)

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #2, by Rumpelstiltskin 1

16th March 2014:
I'm here for the Blackout (number 10/20), with my new, less-rambly review system!

Plot/plot arch: I really love the entire NED idea, it's fun and funny and I really think it was a great and original idea for a story. It has to be a little difficult for Molly to have her younger sister get engaged before her. Shouldn't that be a first-come-first-serve type of situation ;). Ned is a man who doesn't own a business suit? That was cute. Overall, I think that this was a very fun read, and I'm glad that I did.

Characterization: Greggory-- I love this dude! Greggory the barman! I love how he's the all-knowing bearer of N.E.D. knowledge and information, and that he attempts to assist Molly through this. Molly -- You did a wonderful job with her as well. I know you're taking a liking to this character, and you're doing a fantastic job at developing her and making her likeable :D!

Detail: You used minor details to support the surroundings but not so much that it overpowered the story, so that was good. Then again, you've never had a problem here, so...

Emotion: This was cute, though that's not an emotion. It was the kind of light, sort of fluffy piece that I needed to read!

Notes/other: You tied in the "Princess Bride" piece for the challenge in nicely at the end there.

Great job, Lo! ♥


Author's Response: Hiya Rumpel!

Thanks for this amazing review! I'm glad you enjoyed this because it's one of my favourites!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #3, by Panda Weasley  1

24th February 2014:
OMG I LOVED THIS! I love how your were able to mesh the two plot lines together so was perfect! You had all the perfect word choice and ideas and plot points. LOVED IT!!! :)
~Panda Weasley

Author's Response: Hello!

Aw well thank you so much! This is a wonderful review and thank you for saying all these wonderful things!


 Report Review

Review #4, by randomwriter 1

12th February 2014:
Hey there, Lo :)

I'd seen that you'd put up a status about this a few days ago and I've been wanting to read it because it seemed really unique, but I've been hard pressed for time lately.

I'm glad I found the time, though :) Because this was a really sweet one-shot. It was light and fluffy and it hit all the right spots. I also liked the theme (the whole NED thing). It was really cool and fun :)

As for your characterisation, I loved Molly. She's usually portrayed as a forgettable, easy-to-hate character. I'm glad you gave her a new spin on things. It was nice to read about someone likable and relate-able :) I loved how you were able to develop her character really well in such a short piece. As for Gregory, I really think he's a charmer and if he was real, he'd be the kind of guy I'd love to get to know ;) Teddy too was pleasant and funny :) The only issue I had with him was his shift in careers, which seemed slightly odd, especially because they're both careers that are specialised enough to require higher studies. Regarding the 'rents, I did find it a little hard to digest the fact that Percy would be more proud of a model that a healer. His characterisation seemed ever so slight off.

As for typos, I did notice a couple of places where you'd said 'anyways'. I think you meant to say 'anyway'. And there was this other place where I think you'd said 'knowing at her NED jealousy', where I think you meant to say 'gnawing'. Apart from these, you seem to be good :)

I really did enjoy this piece and I'll be sure to re-visit when I'd like a light, fun read :) This was amazing!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much for the wonderful review! It's one of my favourite stories so I'm glad you like it!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #5, by CambAngst 1

8th February 2014:
Tagging you from the Review the Person Above You thread in the common room.

Clever, clever, clever! I love the premise of your story and the apparent inspiration behind it. You really outdid yourself when it came to integrating one really amazing story (The Princess Bride) into another. That's one of my all-time favorite movies.

In a relatively short space, you were able to flesh Molly's life out in a way that was well-rounded and vibrant. She had a lot of depth, both in terms of what she is (her own life) and what she is not (the contrast with Lucy's life). You made her into a character that I was able to admire and feel sorry for. I've never seen the acronym "NED" before, but I've heard a lot of other terms for the phenomenon. As a high-achieving female friend of mine once said, "the perfect career, the perfect social life and the perfect relationship: pick any two". Now that I think of it, though, it's not all that different for my high-achieving male friends. I think guys just aren't under the same sort of cultural pressure to settle down and get married.

Gregory was such a charmer! At first, I was struggling a bit to believe that he was for real and not just working Molly for a better tip. The Inigo Montoya line really helped to sell me, though.

I don't want to harp on this disproportionately because it's a tiny part of the plot, but the idea that Teddy went from being an Auror to being a Healer seemed over the top to me. Two very specialized and demanding careers in one relatively short lifetime was a bit much to get my head around.

That's all I have in the way of constructive criticism. Your writing was very good. I didn't see a single typo or grammatical problem and the story was paced really well. Good job!

Author's Response: Hello!

I'll definitely rework the Teddy angle, thanks so much for the suggestion!
Thank you so much for this amazing review!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by Pixileanin 1

8th February 2014:
I do love how you incorporated the quote from The Princess Bride. It was a perfect inclusion, and instead of burying it in the story, you allowed it to be part of its origin, and a common denominator for Molly and Gregory. Lovely! The way she notices the little details about him right away clues me in that she may be interested, even though she won't allow herself to admit it up front.

I could completely feel for Molly when faced with her sister's "gaggle of shrieking women" in the bar. Even without NED, I don't think Molly would have stood for much more from that group. The shrieking alone would have driven me out of the building. ;) And goodness! Three engagements in a year?? That's a bit... excessive, I think is the word.

I never imagined Teddy as a Healer before. What an interesting concept. And I loved his un-healer-like vocabulary, just like him to be a rebel. Good job on characterization! I could see his mother in him.

Gregory did turn out to be quite the charming barkeep. I love that he brought her a copy of the book that they shared an interest in, and I also loved that he continued to quote from it at the end. I think that tied it neatly to the start of your one-shot.

Lovely writing! I enjoyed this piece!

Author's Response: Hiya Pix!

Thanks for the spectacular review, coming from someone like you it really means a lot!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by celadon 1

5th February 2014:
*creeps in sheepishly*

Aeons ago we had a review swap and I'm here to fulfill my side of the deal. I'm so so so sorry I couldn't get to this earlier! It's just that I've been wading through finals and things have been quite busy! Anyway, I'm going to do two to compensate for my horrid delaying.

This story was so sweet! I'm so happy that Molly finally found someone and Gregory seems like such a nice guy! I am now a loyal shipper of Molly/Gregory (Mogory? Golly?) and I would really like to see more of them in the future.

Molly comes across as a really practical girl (apart from the whole fire whisky thing) who, like most normal girls, really just wants a happy life with a normal guy. She doesn't want a life where she constantly has too prove her worth and compete with a high-achieving sister.

Gregory is this really fun guy who really knows how to cheer Molly up. It's really cute to see how he's desperately trying to ask her out. I was surprised that he would be so forward as to come to St. Mungos and tell her straight up that he meant to ask her out. I guess that it's better to be upfront and honest about love than try to keep up a level of suspense. Makes it much easier to trust the guy, really. The whole pretending to be a spanish assassin was so awesome.

The whole NED concept was awesome. I can really relate to that (which goes to show how sorry my social life is) and it makes a fluffy story funny as well. I'm not too familiar with The Princess Bride although this story is giving me the motivation to go check it out!

Overall this was a lovely one-shot to read and it really made an otherwise terrible day much more bearable :) Sorry once again for being this late to leave a review :(

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you for this amazing review, it really means a lot! :) And no problem on being late!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by desertmagpie 1

4th February 2014:
Very cute story. I like the humor.

Author's Response: Hello!

Well thank you very much, I always love to make people smile!


 Report Review

Review #9, by Maelody 1

4th February 2014:
Oh no! Why is this a one-shot?! It was simply too adorable! I think you did great for the challenge, and it fit in so smoothly!

Gregory. Aw, he sounds so adorable! Though, can I say that I think Lucy needs a little talk in being so willy-nilly about her life? I mean, someone needs to do it!

Anyway, I think you did amazing at capturing humor, resent, life, and love! Especially with adding Teddy in there! It was so quick, and yet we learn so much about him in just that one encounter! Your characters were very easy to like.

I do wish it could continue on, but I see the necessity in keeping it short and allowing us to imagine the rest. *sigh*

This was awesome! I laughed and smiled a lot! :) great job! And good luck!


Author's Response: Hi Mae!

It's a one-shot because I honestly can't finish anything to save my life? I'll try and see if a sequel is possible though. :)

Yay! I'm so glad I was able to hit the challenge mark well! And yes, Gregory is such a sweetie! Yes, I think that Lucy needs someone to keep her grounded and tell her what's up (sequel idea possibly?). Yay! I'm glad I got the humor - it's what I was going for - and thank you so much for the beautiful compliments!

I promise to try and write a sequel, and thank you so much for this wonderful review!
Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #10, by love_is_magic_ 1

4th February 2014:
Hey there! I'm just popping in for our review swap :)

I absolutely loved this story! You were very clever in the way you worked in the Princess Bride. The story and the way you portrayed the characters were both very endearing.

I loved that Teddy greeted Molly with "Wotcha". It was a very subtle way of paying tribute to Tonks in her son and my heart hurt for her a little bit as I read it :/

So now for the little nit-picky things. In the line that starts with "Victoire will love it, Ted", I think you meant to say gnawing but accidentally wrote knowing. There were also a couple of places where words were used more than once in a sentence. But that's totally fine and not too distracting at all :) I just thought I would point those things out in case they help you in any way!

I really did like the story very very much :) I love the idea of NED and might diagnose myself with it some day... though hopefully not!

This was really well done :) I'm off to read some of your other stories now :D


Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks so much for this amazing review, it's so helpful! Thanks so much again!

Lo :)

 Report Review

Review #11, by pomplemoose21 1

4th February 2014:
Hello, here for the review swap!

Firstly I want to say how much I enjoyed this story because I can relate to it so well - I work in a cafe and could imagine the setting perfectly and my boyfriend is also called Greg, haha!

On a different note, I absolutely love the 'Not-Engaged Depression' thing. It's hilarious and so realistic! I can think of a large number of people who suffer from it, but I won't name any names :P

The way you characterized Molly was great and when she was giving Teddy a slight telling off about saying 'bloody' too much it reminded me a lot of the way she would be with Ron at times, so well done on that :)

The only tiny thing I will pick you up on is where you mention the 10 digits of Gregory's phone number - I'm British and we have 11 digit phone numbers! I know, i'm being picky, but since it was the only fault I could find I thought I should mention it :)

It was a great story, thank you for sharing it!

- Hannah

Author's Response: Hi Hannah!

Thank you so much for the review swap and for this wonderful review!

Lo :)

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login