Reading Reviews for Sweet Madness
  
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by UnluckyStar57 Cauldrons and Cheese

16th April 2014:
Hahaha, your author's note... Ring any bells. That's a good pun! :D

Oooh, Severus and Bertram are up to no good! Everything starts right in the middle of the action, so I'm not quite sure why they're feeding potions to people, but I'm sure that reasons will surface in later chapters. Poor Peter... He always gets the short end of the stick, doesn't he? What did they do to him and why?! Are they trying to stop the Marauders' party or do they have another reason?

Hah, Sirius and James are so bromantical. I don't know how Remus puts up with them, but he's a saint for doing so! I do think that they're a little bit insensitive (which makes sense, because they're teenage boys) to Peter--something is OBVIOUSLY wrong with him, but they write it off as his cheese-o-philia. And something tells me that they won't realize anything is wrong until too late...

The chapter read very smoothly and the action was easy to follow. I really enjoyed your portrayals of Snape and the Marauders because they seemed like themselves--except for more humorous. The party is bound to go wrong, and I'm sure it'll be a bumpy ride for them!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

 Report Review

Review #2, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Potions and Baths

16th March 2014:
Hey again!

So the start of this was really creepy in Sev's POV. You did a good job of his characterisation. I don't see many stories where he's the ring leader and master planner so it was a good change. Your descriptions of the potions were also really great, I loved the detail you used.

The second half was much more relaxed and fun with the marauders! Poor James... I'm not convinced a sparkly tie is what chicks will go for but I give him 10/10 for effort! The whole thing with Peter in the bath was suitably awkward... you did a great job of writing that part.

Quick typo for you: "Chicks did shiny things. I think you mean chicks dig shiny things!

Great chapter again though!

Lauren :)
Gryffindor vs Slytherin Review 20 of 20!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yay, I'm glad you like my evil Sevvy!! He's so much fun to write!
Ooh, I had to research the appropriate potions for quite a while until I found them! :D

Haha, yeah! James is really trying hard, fussing and worrying Lily will just turn him down again - this is the ultimate try to get Evans to admit she kind likes him a bit, James is pulling all the strings... Maybe he's getting a little desperate with the glitter but hey, maybe it'll work? Hehehe^^

I'm glad the scene with Peter felt awkward enough - it wasn't all that easy to write :D

Aaargh, thank you for pointing out the typo - I noticed it after the chapter was validated, edited it in word and completely forgot about it afterwards!7

Again, thank you for reviewing (twice!^^) and again, sorry for the late responses - the following chapters are up by now if you're still interested ;)

Cheers!
Iellwen (Gee)


 Report Review

Review #3, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Cauldrons and Cheese

16th March 2014:
Hey there!

So, I can't resist a marauders fic!

I liked the start of this... what exactly is Snape up to? This potion seems very like him but I can't help but wonder what password Snape is after! Poor Pettigrew, he got right in the middle of it there. He doesn't have much luck at all does he?

So this party sounds like it's going to be interesting! Was Snape after the password to the party? The party would be wrecked if he turned up - I'm sure he would love to ruin a marauders party.

I thought your characterisation of the marauders was good, although they weren't perceptive enough to pick up that Peter wasn't himself! I hope that doesn't come back and haunt them later! Poor James too, I love that you got his love for Lily in there!

So this was a good first chapter and I'm definitely curious to see where you take it next! My one CC would be to be a little more explicit at times who is talking... it did get a little confusing at times! Great job though!

Lauren :)
Gryffindor vs Slytherin Review 19 of 20

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

This is my first time writing about the Marauders - I love it, they are such a fun group of friends!

Snape... is up to a lot and very little at the same time. He would really, really love to ruin that party... Oh, he really would. Hehehe.
The password he's looking for is actually for the party; the last step he needs to overcome to get it - I'll get to that in later chapters (more accurately, I think in chapter 6^^)

Yes, the marauders are really overlooking Peter's troubles, aren't they... More to that in later chapters (more accurately, chapter 5 will be about Pettigrew)... It will totally turn around and bite them in the hiney. Might even bite off a big chunk somewhere. Hehehe...
This party is going so wrong! :D

Thanks for your CC; I've added some dialog tags here and there now :D It really was getting confusing and that's no fun!

Thank you so much for reviewing (twice!) and my apologies for taking so long to respond!

And congrats to the Griffies for winning the Bingo! :D

Iellwen (Gee)


 Report Review

Review #4, by ShadowRose Potions and Baths

7th March 2014:
Hello, back again for the Blackout Battle!

Once again, I really love Snape's character in this. He's trying so hard to be that "cool" villain, and Aubrey's there messing it up and ruining the whole thing - I can't help but find it hilarious. I wonder what he's up to... there's no doubt that potions are his specialty, so it'll be really interesting to see what you come up with.

I also like the interactions you've created with the boys here - they're all constantly poking fun at one another and messing around, and the interactions are definitely very natural. Aww, and James really does like Lily genuinely - that's sweet, even if he keeps getting picked on for it by Sirius. The Peter drowning scene was also pretty funny, because their whole massive avoidance to touch him while he's naked is so true of teenage guys trying to protect their heterosexuality, and I don't know, it just made me giggle!

Make sure you're spacing is consistent throughout - there are some paragraphs that are close together, and others that are farther apart. That can be a bit jarring to the reader's eye, so try to keep those the same, just to make it a little easier on the reader. :)

Overall, this story is shaping up to be pretty funny - and I can't wait to see what happens next, especially with all of Snape's scheming!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor!

Thank you again for reviewing two chapters! :D

I'm glad you like Severus (and Aubrey) - they are both much fun to write! Snape's potions actually exist (found them on the HPWiki, hehehe ;) ) and I love picturing him scheming and scheming, failing like the coyote after the road-runner :D Who knows, maybe this story if one of his few successes? Hehehe... ^^

Writing the boys wasn't all that easy at first - I observed, then even asked a few of my male friends about their interaction with one another!^^
"Basically", boys don't really communicate and aren't all that open with their feelings except when they friendly tease, shove or punch each other. The love is shown through pseudo macho-lines or behavior...
A friend of mine told me a story about a guy he know, so uncomfortable in the men's room he can't use a urinal - the way he told the story was so hilarious, I let it inspire me :D

Guys, like girls, behave differently in a group than under four eyes.
I'm sure if Peter had been alone with Remus or James or Sirius, any of the three would jump in without hesitating.
But then again, no guy would be alone in a bathroom with a bathing buddy - no matter how big the tub and foamy the water ^^
Picturing the same scene with girls, I wonder if there would be the same trouble with breasts :D
Either way, funny ^^

Yeah, I got carried away with James and he's in serious, deep puppy love - and somehow, it fits. Maybe that's how he got Lily to believe his love for her; he abandoned all facade and pride, declared her his eternal love, made a fool of himself and still want to adore her until her hair turns grey. I expect, somehow, that's the kind of love James showered Lily with :D


Thank you very much for pointing out the spacing - it just keeps sneaking in every now and then. :D I'll watch out for the off spaces and fix them asap!


I'm happy you like where the story is headed (a few more chapters are up by now - sorry it took me so long to respond to your great review!), I'm not so unhappy about it myself, hehehe :D

Iellwen (Gee)


 Report Review

Review #5, by ShadowRose Cauldrons and Cheese

7th March 2014:
Hello! I'm here for Blackout Bingo!

I saw this story on your Author's Page and was immediately attracted to it - I love Marauder stories, and a party gone wrong seems like a great concept for a story.

I like the two contrasting point-of-views here - they provide two totally different perspectives. I like your characters of James and Sirius, they're both really nutty and immature, and I think it's funny to see them interact and "fight" with one another. I also think it's kinda funny that Sirius doesn't like Lily - that's not something you see a lot but I could definitely see why he wouldn't like her. I also really liked Snape - he was trying to hard to play the perfect villain, and the plan kind of fell on his face. I wonder what they did to Peter? I guess that'll be explained later. Is that really his normal behaviour? I feel like the other guys would be more suspicious of him acting like that, since his behaviour really is kind of odd.

As a suggestion, when you're writing about interactions between more than two people, make sure to always use dialogue tags so that the reader can tell who's speaking. Without those, it can be a little confusing, and the reader can get overwhelmed trying to figure out who's saying what.

I'm actually really excited for the next chapter - I get the feeling there's going to be some party-sabotaging on Snape's part, so I'm looking forward to whatever happens next!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor,

Thank you for reviewing Sweet Madness (wow, two chapters, even! that makes me so happy! :D ) !
This is the first Marauders' story I'm writing and I'm enjoying every bit of it :D

Aah, I'm glad the characterization comes off nicely! It's so much fun to write about James and Sirius (nutty and immature - perfect description^^) and their close friendship!
I feel Sirius would be a bit lost without spending so much time which James - and that's bound to happen with Lily
Remus will also get his POV as the story progresses - they all will!
Severus is hilarious to write :D He tries really hard to be bad, to be evil... Everything goes wrong in this story, not just the James' party :D

And Peter... Hehe... Pettigrew is often under-rated, even left out in Marauders era stories... This isn't the case here :D
Chapter 5 is a Peter chapter ;)

You're totally right about the dialog tags - I'll edit that asap! It even confused me as I re-read this chapter, and that shouldn't be ^^ Thank you very much for pointing that out!

I'm sorry it took me so long to respond - I had a lot on my mind in RL and am answering reviews in chronological order, one by one ^^

Congrats to you Grffies for winning this time ;)

Cheers!
Gee.


 Report Review

Review #6, by Unwritten Curse Cauldrons and Cheese

1st March 2014:
Hello, hello! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

I just love the Marauders. Especially when they're at Hogwarts, because they're all such goofballs. Something interesting is going on here, though. I'm curious as to what Snape is up to in regards to his "revenge." Was Peter sent to spy on him? Poor Peter always manages to get himself stuck in bad situations.

Since I know that this is for the "Party Gone Wrong" challenge, I know something ridiculous is going to happen. I wonder what it is! Knowing the marauders, they will fail spectacularly. Haha.

Something that was a bit confusing at times was the dialogue. You don't always use dialogue tags, so at times I wasn't sure who was talking. It was entertaining dialogue, so I would've liked to know who said what!

Good luck with both challenges!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! Thanks for stopping by! :D

The Marauders are awesome :D It's incredibly fun to write about them in put them through such hardships and awkward situations! ^^
I can promise Snape's revenge is going to be HUGE - and Peter will end up (along a few others) in terrible situations - and it's going to be mad :P
And yes, it's going to be ridiculous :D

Thanks for pointing out the dialogue tags - I found it fun at first, not really knowing for sure who's speaking... But re-reading a chapter, it's really confusing^^ I'll take care of that in a few :)

Oh, and what Peter was up to and who the other student was will be explained in further chapters (hehehe)

Thank you so much for the great review


 Report Review

Review #7, by Red_headed_juliet Potions and Baths

20th February 2014:
I like the titles. Not sure why, but it reminds me of old batman movies, you know? With the 'meanwhile, in the batcave'. Maybe that's just me.

Anyways! I like what you've done here. I love how Snape is a huge dork with a dramatic exit planned, cape woosh and all, and how he is stuck with a ridiculous sidekick. It's all very endearing, and refreshing not to have something so serious happening. The marauders are wonderful. I love the back and forth between all of them, it really feels very natural. All in all, a very good story! I enjoyed reading it very much.

Thanks for the swap! Until next time- RHJ

Author's Response: I'm glad you noticed the titles!! I totally get what you mean, now that you mention it! I now HAVE to use the 'meanwhile' :D

I love how you've picked out most of my favorite aspects of this story :D I'm having so much fun writing it because it's not serious! ^^
Picturing Snape as a teenager with a slightly bit of confidence made him a dork for some reason; the rest wrote itself and I didn't sway from some cliches :D I got so carried away with him, I was a bit worried the interaction between the Marauders was too hurried! I'm really happy you enjoyed it :D

It was a great swap, thank you! Until next time, indeed ;)


 Report Review

Review #8, by blackballet Cauldrons and Cheese

14th February 2014:
Oh this was so good! I especially loved the beginning because I don't think we get enough of a Severus first POV. I loved that he was working on a potion. I feel like as a student potions and Lily were his motivators.

I think this is really interesting and the teasing was very true to the marauders I think. I do, however, think that Remus would have been a little more skeptical of Peter's behavior. That's just how I characterize Remus.

Overall, I think it's a great first chapter and it's something different than the usual marauder fic.

Thanks for the great read!

Author's Response: Hi there! :D

You pin-pointed Snape's motivations perfectly!! I recognize a fellow Severus lover, there! :D
I'm glad you liked the teasing between the Marauders - I agree Remus is a bit OOC but I had to make it work without having the boys go on and on about Peter for too long and spoiling my lazy plan ;)

Thank you so much for the nice review!
I'm glad you liked the first chapter already - the second is being validated as we speak ^^
I hope I'll catch you again for the next swap :)


 Report Review

Review #9, by MidnightBlue_x Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Hello There, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to review this chapter for my challenge.

First of all, I'd like to thank you for entering my challenge. I hope you're enjoying it so far. Now, onto the actually review! I have to admit this was not what I was expecting at all- I had in my mind that the entries I would get would be all very serious (excuse the pun) but I'm so happy to see that my first entry is as much fun as this is.

I think the little introduction from Snape's point of view was very well done. It's not often that Snape really gets a voice in Marauder centric fics. I can't wait to see where you go with the Marauders themselves though- it'll be interesting to see how Snape's big plan is going to affect them all.

All in all, this chapter was very interesting and mysterious. I can't wait to see more and I wish you good luck!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi Ely! So sorry it took me so long to respond - I swear I usually answer reviews immediately!

Thank you so much for stopping by! And thank YOU for creating the challenge! I'm having loads of fun with this story :D
I almost went for a serious (love the pun, I'll be using it if you don't mind^^) but as I started adding elements of things going wrong for Reebee's Challenge, I got crazy carried away and it turned into mad fluff ^^

I'm glad you liked Snape; he's often underrated sometimes and has so much potential as a villain that's not really evil :D
I'm really enjoying writing about the Marauders, especially since Sirius is my favorite^^

Thanks again for stopping by and for creating the challenge!!
The second chapter will be up soon ^^


 Report Review

Review #10, by maraudertimes Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Hiya! Review swap! Sorry that I'm so late, I just got caught up in real world stuff... But I'm here now!

Before I start, the one thing I noticed was that you called the Marauders by their last names quite a bit, but unless the story's being narrated by someone who isn't close to them, that just seems a little bit off.

Other than that, it was really nice! I loved how you portrayed Snape - brooding and still really amazing at potions, and very much interested in revenge. I also liked the subtle hint at Peter's rat-like behaviours with the cheese. I see that everywhere and it never fails to disappoint. :)

I also liked how the Marauders interacted with each other, and they seem very brotherly and close, which is something that I always love to see. This was really well done and nicely written.

Good job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hi Lo!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond! (10 whole days!! O_0)

Thank you so much for pointing out the use of the last names - I got carried away in Snape POV when I wrote the 1st chapter even though he's not the main character ^^ I've applied a few changes here and there already :D

I love how you perceived Snape just as I wanted him to be! I love the idea of a teenage Snape that has a passionate thirst for revenge and does not hesitate to go dramatic for it :D

I was worried about the Marauders' interaction since this is my first time writing about teenage boys and I had to ask around to make sure they didn't interact like girls or too awkwardly. And I'm glad you liked Peter's love for cheese^^ It's almost overused so I was a bit worried about that, but I'm really happy you liked it :D

Thank you so much!


 Report Review

Review #11, by Rumpelstiltskin Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Reporting for swapping duty :)!

Okay, where do I begin?

I definitely loved the structure to this. By initially beginning with Snape and his scheming, you've established an idea that something is just going to go wrong. Furthermore, oh no-- they've captured Peter! Yes, I'd have to say that something is going to go very wrong. I really want to know what the substance is inside the vial and what Snape is scheming!

Then, of course, we move into the Marauder's conversations. I love the interactions between the three boys -- James, Sirius, and Remus -- as they were quirky and humorous. They seem to be taking some careful consideration into this party-planning! Their teasing made me laugh.

Then Peter returns! I feel like, at this point, I should be listening to some creepy and ominous music! Bum-bum-bum (or something to that extent). I can't wait to find out how this will all pan-out! :D

Great job!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Heya Rumpel!

Thank you so much for the awesome review!!

I'm glad you liked the structure!
Something is definitely going to go wrong :D Snape is scheming utter (teenage) evil and his potion is indeed going to be explained :D
And the Marauders made you laugh!!! That makes me so happy! ^^
The reason the party's so important is going to be revealed in the next chapter ;)

Ominous music would've been perfect!! Glad you picked up on that ;)

Things are going to get crazy!!

Again, thank you :)


 Report Review

Review #12, by love_is_magic_ Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Review swap :D

This was such a great, playful story!

You provided such a different take on each of these characters. The only ones you portrayed in a traditional way were Sirius and Peter. It was refreshing and interesting! I wouldn't think Snape to have friends at all, or say anything like "to the cauldrons"! When somebody was worried about Pettigrew, I thought for sure it would be Remus! I was so shocked to see that you made that James, and even more shocked when Lupin agreed that the worry was silly. The playful banter from Sirius about Lily was, of course, endearingly familiar :)

Really the only CC I have is that the beginning was a little confusing. It took me a few reads to grasp what was going on, mostly because the dialogue was throwing me off. I think a short descriptive paragraph in the beginning somewhere (maybe after the first line), explaining where everyone is in the room and what's going on, would have been very helpful. But that was the only minor issue I had and overall I thought the story was very good :)

The cliff hanger at the end was great and horrible at the same time! I want to know what Snape was planning!!

Thanks so much for writing this story! I really enjoyed reading it!

Christy

Author's Response: Hey, thank you so much for your quick reaction and the great review!! :D

Yes, I went crazy with the characters ^^
Especially with Snape - he's actually one of my favorite characters as he is :D But I really wanted to play around with the idea of him having enough confidence to act rather actively on his emotions, as well as being completely mad^^ Hence the "to the cauldrons!" - just picturing him saying it with a straight face and a dramatically swooshing cape cracks me up :D

I'll see what I can think of about the first lines. It's a shame if the beginning of the very first chapter is so confusing and throws the reader off... Thank you very much for pointing it out!! :D

I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it - you thanking me made me blush... :)
Again, thanks for the great review!!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login