Reading Reviews for Sweet Madness
  
20 Reviews Found

Review #1, by marauderslover15 Peter's Sorrow and Filch's Glee

10th July 2014:
HI AGAIN!
I love your portray of Peter. It aligns with what Professor McGonagall was saying about him. He was a timid boy, thinking nothing better of himself. Peter thoughts show this. I have to say this is very relatable to canon.
I like the letter a lot. Adds a nice touch to Peter, a background, a life before the Death Eaters and Lord Voldy that readers only know of. Many writers of the marauders forget Peter, donít give him any substance, but you do. It is a wonderful touch. And by the letter you could tell a little about his mother. I think itís wrong for her to side with ďJasonĒ and for her son to get a room somewhere else and what not. Her son should be number one. But yet she tells him she loves him. She is like a fake mother or the mother that you see in movies or TV that set their son up for evilness. And I think Peter sees this.
Okay, never in my life I ever thought of saying this, BUT I feel bad for Peter. You make it make sense when he turns bad. VERY GOOD JOB! LIKE WOW! But you also allow readers to have sympathy for Peter.
And I am glad Snape is bad. I STILL HAVE NO idea what he is up to. I am interested to know! So, plleasssee I beg of you to re-request reviews. I look forward to reading more. It was really enjoyable so far =D

 Report Review

Review #2, by marauderslover15 Looking for Lily Evans (and Peter)

10th July 2014:
Here again for the requested review.

I am so sorry, it been taking me forever. I been VERY busy, but as promise I will review EVERY chapter =)

Since you mentioned that Sirius is the main character in this fic, I can finally truly see it since the beginning starts off with him. We as readers get to plummet into his thoughts and automatically we know that Sirius is jealous! (although he would never admit it lol) BUT honestly this fic is seeming more like a Marauder fic in total rather focused on one which is okay because I love every single one of them (except Peter).

I have to say I love the mention of a map of Hogwarts being nonexistent and Remus' thoughts about the mapping of the school. It sets it up for the invention of the Marauders' Map. MY FAV!!

Anyway, another beautifully done chapter with the Marauders. I enjoy it.

 Report Review

Review #3, by marauderslover15 Tardiness and Chocoballs

3rd July 2014:
Dez aka marauderslover15 here again with your review =D

Your characterization is still SPOT ON! I am pretty sure everyone imagines the marauders humorous, much like George and the late Fred, and you capture that. I was so amused by Sirius calling James ďPrancer.Ē That is incredibly clever of you.

I also love the detail of the banner and the view of the room of requirement. Since the room is always shifting, it is also great to add how it looks because as readers we can visualize it as if we are there.
Every chapter I am getting the impression that Sirius might be jealous of Lily and is afraid to lose his best friend. You slowly build that emotion up like frustration. I like that a lot rather than bluntly saying what Sirius is feeling, we can see by his thoughts alone that the frustration is building up by him using more mean words to describe Lily. (Poor Lils! =/)

I read your reply to the first review I did. You mention that Sirius is the main character. I honestly really thought it was James because it was focused on him, his party and he wanting to woo Lily. In this chapter, I do see a little more Sirius action because we go into his thoughts, but Iím not sure if thatís clear as it should be if you want him to be the main character.

And my guess, is that the potion is sleeping potion? Maybe Amortentia (this was literally my first guess from Chapter 1). I hope we get to know by next chapter! EXCITED!

Another great chapter.

 Report Review

Review #4, by marauderslover15 Potions and Baths

2nd July 2014:
Dez again aka marauderslover15! Here for your requested review =)

You do the marauders fantastically. The opening of James and Sirius, a reader knows the second line was belonging to Sirius vs any other marauder because you capture the personality of Sirius correctly and detail it by simply using what would he say. It is subtle, but YOU KNOW YOUR MARAUDERS! ^__^ Even Snape was incredibly great! You know how to portray your characters.

I like the first scene, despite it being uneventful and filled with loads of humor, I enjoyed it fully. One of my favorite things to read is marauders interacting, but what really got me was the Snape scene. I still canít figure out what is he going to do. Iím so curious.

You capture readers with your characterization, flow and even a little mystery that makes us keep coming back for more.

WONDERFUL JOB!

 Report Review

Review #5, by marauderslover15 Cauldrons and Cheese

2nd July 2014:
Dez, marauderslover15 here with your requested review =D

Sorry, it took me a bit. I was incredibly lazy. -___-

First off, let me saw WHAT A HOOK to your story. I have so many questions about what Snape is doing. What is he up to? That alone makes me want to keep reading! The characterization of Snape was on point. I can see him bullying others to boost his broken confidence and ego. BUT you want to be careful because remember not many people had liked him in Hogwarts so Iím pretty sure he wasnít any type of ring leader.

I am also guessing this is the type of marauders story acknowledging. Mostly he is off in the distance somewhere, so by you incorporating him, it shows realism to the Marauders.

Anyway, the rest of the Marauders characterization would be canon if there was a story on them (not bits of flashbacks and what we heard.) The flow is good. At the end of the chapter, you tied it in with what happened earlier so shows great and well-thought out flow. Ending was great because it is like foreshadowing a little because as a reader is like ĎOh, no. Something is going to happen later. THIS will not be good!í
The only thing I was partly confused on was the beginning of the marauders scene where I became a little lost by which marauder was saying what. BUT I have to say, you put in those subtle details (not just the nicknames) where I understood who said what, but the personalities can be overlapping. For example, ďDonít call him Worms. Itís not his name and gives the wrong idea.Ē Essentially, in my opinion that would either be Remus or James who both look out for Peter more than Sirius. So, in times like that I thought to myself, which one is it?

Well, that wraps it up. GREAT first chapter. AH-mazing! Onward to the next chapter =)

Author's Response: Dez! Thank you so much!!
Hey, no problem! With the House Cup raving, I didn't expect you until the 5th or something ^^

Ah, Snape! I love him so much, I really did get carried away with him at first - but I think I settled for a version of his 'canon' young self, if only with a teeny tiny bit of self-confidence, just enough to actively seek revenge... Ack, heck, who am I kidding? He's most likely very OOC in this story ^^'
And you're right, he definitely wasn't much liked during his school years, not even by his fellow housemates because he was friendly with Lily... Which is why Aubrey is tagging along (he's not from Slytherin^^); because Severus needed a henchman yet couldn't really turn to anybody.
He is definitely up to no good, though :D

Very technically speaking, the protagonist of this story is Sirius... Yet I just can't help adding a dash of James or Remus or Peter here and there, because the four of them have such a dynamic routine it's almost impossible to break ^^
Quite honestly, I based my marauders on my cousins. I have loads and loads of cousins, almost all guys and every single one of them ready to, well, prank someone or experiment with highly explosive liquids to create a small bomb in his mum's garden or plainly wrestle and hit each other in the face, laughing madly.
This fraternal feeling is the one I wanted to bring forth, so I'm really happy their chaotic happiness is contagious :D

I love that you pointed out that one sentence, because I purposely left it 'untagged' :D James is the one that says it but since, as you so wonderfully pointed out, the personalities resemble each other, I really like to play with the fact that either James or Remus could've said it and it would still work just as well :D
But I personally think James is the one with enough self-confidence/leadership skills to point that out. Remus would probably think it but not say it (or at least not immediately).
Err... I don't know if I managed to explain that properly... :/

Again, thank you so much for responding to my request and even doing the second chapter!! Your reviews were both very helpful and made me really happy :D
I'll definitely re-request!!

*Gee


 Report Review

Review #6, by ReeBee Potions and Baths

7th May 2014:
Oh god oh god oh god! this was great! I loved it! AND H I L A R I O U S! Seriosuly, amazing!

Characterisation: I stick with what i originally said- its amazingly perfect! I really do think that this is amazing characterisation!! I LOVE it!!

Okay, honestly, I'm going to skip the rest of the formalities and gush! I loved the bath bit! And how sirius won't pull peter out because he isn't wearing anything! LOVE that! So true to character!!! And how peter almost drowns in a bathtub! Lol! Amazingly believable!!

And the end!!! So mysterious! I wonder whats going to happen?! Im seriously so curious! Great job!

Challenge Rules: You met all of the challenge rules :) The only thing I'm not too sure about is that there wasn't an actual party, but there were the interactions (which was the main aim of the challenge anyway :) )

So thank you for entering my challenge! Results will be posted shortly :)

-Curie :)

Author's Response: Curie!!

Sorry it took me so long to respond, I was basking in the glorious love that is your review!
Honestly, I love you so much I can't find the right words to express it, even now xD

I'm really sorry I didn't manage to get the party started before the deadline (but it was just so much fun having it go wrong before it even started^^') and I can't tell how grateful I am that you managed to squeeze me in for the results!
Actually, I can: THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

Chapter 5 is up and by the looks of it, this story will at least have 10 :D So I got so carried away with the plot, Sweet Madness will most probably become the longest fanfiction I ever wrote ^^
All thanks to you and your wonderful challenge!
So, again, thank you so much! :)

Lotsa love ♥

*Gee


 Report Review

Review #7, by ReeBee Cauldrons and Cheese

29th April 2014:
Hi hun! I'm so late for this! This is you challenge review! It was amazing btw! Loved this chapter! So, I apologise profusely for my lateness and now onto the review!

Characterisation: So spot on! Loved James!!! I'm a huge James fan and well, you made him even more loveable! And Sirius! LOL! Siriously (try to ignore the cliched pun ;) ) amazing! His jokes and teasing and the boys' fighting! And I love how involved you kept Remus! You already know from the challenge that I cannot write with a lot people without forgetting about the existence of one of those characters! So Im totally impressed how realistic you made it!! And Remus! I love Remus and i honestly am so glad ad pleased that you didnt make him too book-y! I honestly think that this was one of the most believable (if not the most believable) portrayal I've ever read! kudos to you!

Dialogue: I honestly don't usually have a category for dialogue but yours was so good that I HAD to include it! You've improved so so much! Just from your last fic that i read to this one! Its very very realistic! I can hear it playing out in my head! The only thing I'd suggest is maybe including more tags as to who said what? It got a bit unclear in some of the witty comments :)

Plot: Mysterious! Oooh! Seriously! Lovely! What did Snape do?! Polyjuice potion maybe? Thats my guess and I'm so so curious that i cannot even make any guesses except that one! It was amazing and a lovely way to incorporate that! :D

Anyway, great job! :D I L O V E D it! Seriously amazing! And thank you for entering my challenge! I will e moving on to the next chapter soon! :D Thanks again and great amazing and fantabulous job!

-Curie :)

Author's Response: Curie! Thank you so much for the awesome review!!
It makes me giggle and blush every time I read it, no matter how often! ♥

This is my first time writing about the Marauders and I just immediately fell in love with their dynamics!
You telling me my dialogs have improved makes me really, really happy and all warm and mushy inside, it's kinda awkward for me to express... Thank you :)

I love James and had to research him quite a bit - found a few comments about him being creepy and pushy, and they annoyed me... I find his constantly going after his one true love, having the courage to follow his heart and make a fool of himself... Those are endearing qualities that Lily wouldn't immediately see behind his teenage boy behaviour...

Sirius is my favourite marauder but writing this story made me think he was probably very insecure because of Lily, that she'd completely swoop James away and poor Sirius would have to end up 'alone' again.
Remus and Peter, too, might have been worried of losing James (he really is the core of the group no matter how I look at it ^^) but Sirius is the only one brash and confident enough to be at least passive-aggressive about it, yet he loves his friend James so much he wouldn't dare to wish him unhappiness.

Gaah, Remus!
He has serious anger issues, with his werewolf blood and his often being tired a lot making him cranky. Yet his close friends have that soothing effect on him, because he wants the happiness they share together to never end or waiver, because their happiness is his happiness.
Also, he thinks fighting is childish and Lily would do James good :D
I hope Remus won't disappoint you in the further chapters ^^'


I've added some dialog tags (I got confused too, re-reading ^^'), thank you so much for pointing that out!


Aaah, Snape... Really nice guess... But not Polyjuice, no *mysterious-dum-dum-dum* ^^
Thank you so much! I did a little research to find potions that had the effects I (well, technically, Snape) needed for the plot, hehehe ^^

Thank you again so much for the review and for creating such a great challenge - it was fun to participate and even though the judging is done, I'll definitely keep updating! Next up is chapter 5 ;)

*Gee


 Report Review

Review #8, by navyfail Cauldrons and Cheese

24th April 2014:
Hello, I'm Sama, here from the review swap! I love a good Marauders so I thought I would read this story from your lovely author's page. :)

Oh, Snape! The way your portray him is quite interesting. And a thirst for revenge? Sounds a lot like him. And he has a sidekick? Well, that's new but I love the idea of it. I feel bad for Peter though, being the test subject for the potion and all.

I love the banter between the three friends. I can immediately pin-point their personalities and who is saying which line. Sirius is really immature but that's okay because it fits him well (and I like that quality on him). And James... oh, how he pines for Lily Evans.

A few things with punctuation:

"'Yes, that might be the source of the problem' Remus announced in a very matter-of-fact tone." I think you missed a comma that is supposed to go after 'problem'.

"'Yeah you do, you cheddar freak, you.' Sirius said and clapped Peter on the shoulder." Instead of a period after 'you', it should be a comma.

"'Shut it. I swear, I'll hex you so bad you'll be drooling more than Wormtail is.' James threatened." The period after 'is' should probably be a comma.

All in all, this is a great opening chapter! The Marauders seem to be in character and you have a talent when it comes to dialogue. I wouldn't mind seeing a little more description but other than that lovely job!!!

~Sama (~chocolate)

Author's Response: Hi Sama! Thanks again for swapping! :)

This is my very first Marauders fanfic so I'm very excited to get positive (or any other^^) feedback!

I have to admit, I'm a Severus lover (though not a hardcore, hardcore one - I seriously disliked him at first ^^) and couldn't resist giving him enough confidence to go after Lily!
I just had to make him like a super-vilain, a slightly ridiculous antagonist, mostly for the laughs but also because it made the writing of this story easier ^^
I feel in love with him having a slightly moronic but also kind of good-hearted sidekick! I'm really glad you like it too!
A little spoilers: if you check out Aubrey, you might find a little something something about him on HPWikia for example. That one known fact about him made me choose him and will be brought to the plot in chapter 6 or 7 ;)

Ah, yes... Peter... Chapter 5 is about him :)

I'm really happy to know there's no confusion in the dialogs anymore (I had to had a few tags here and there because even though I was aiming for what you described [and that you got it makes me really happy!] it got confusing at first, even for me :/ )
Yes, I also love an immature Sirius! Mischievous and fresh!
James is also kind of childish in his own way, but his burning passion for Lily, borderline creepy and stalkish, tips the scale somehow ^^'

After carefully observing the known dynamics of the Marauders, I felt Remus was the one holding the main emotional mast of the group while James and Sirius came up with incredibly ridiculous ways to break the rules, and Peter kind of tagged along to belong.
Of course, this felt like it wasn't enough so I had to add a few things here and there... Hehehe.

Thank you very much for pointing out that punctuation detail. I must admit I have deep-seeded issues with closure and what-not so I just can't bring myself to exactly follow your advice. But I'll definitely think of using a comma if I add a tag in the middle of a sentence!

And I will definitely add more description! I tend to force myself to have a finished chapter be validated before I admit to my critical self that it's not perfect - otherwise said chapter would stay forever on my laptop and that's just not as fun as feedback :D

Now that I finally have an adequate internet connection again, I'm looking forward to adding further chapters as well as editing... Darn, I just have to much I want to catch up on!

I do hope you'll be willing to swap reviews with me again when the time comes!
Since it took me so long to respond (sorry about that^^), I hope my answer was satisfactory!
Thank you for the great review!!

*Gee


 Report Review

Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 Cauldrons and Cheese

16th April 2014:
Hahaha, your author's note... Ring any bells. That's a good pun! :D

Oooh, Severus and Bertram are up to no good! Everything starts right in the middle of the action, so I'm not quite sure why they're feeding potions to people, but I'm sure that reasons will surface in later chapters. Poor Peter... He always gets the short end of the stick, doesn't he? What did they do to him and why?! Are they trying to stop the Marauders' party or do they have another reason?

Hah, Sirius and James are so bromantical. I don't know how Remus puts up with them, but he's a saint for doing so! I do think that they're a little bit insensitive (which makes sense, because they're teenage boys) to Peter--something is OBVIOUSLY wrong with him, but they write it off as his cheese-o-philia. And something tells me that they won't realize anything is wrong until too late...

The chapter read very smoothly and the action was easy to follow. I really enjoyed your portrayals of Snape and the Marauders because they seemed like themselves--except for more humorous. The party is bound to go wrong, and I'm sure it'll be a bumpy ride for them!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Haha, thanks for picking up on that :D


Indeed they are! :D I tried to start the story with setting and background but found it really slowed me down... So I thought heck, why not? ^^ More about Severus will be explained in chapter 6... Hehehe, he's really up to no good but not really trying to stop the party either... ^^

Ah, Peter. Poor, poor Peter. Chapter 5 is all about him but it's a bit harder to write because it's not all fluff... It will be up by next month, though ^^

BROMANTICAL IS THE PERFECT WORD! I really wish I could've used it in the story but I don't think it fits the 70s or that the Marauders would appreciate... :D
Remus is so patient with them; he should be a saint ^^ I'd almost say he's the most sensitive of the bunch, but one can never forget about Peter (again and never enough, poor Pettigrew).
Oh, they'll regret not noticing. That they will.
Hehehe.

I'm really happy it's an easy read; when I go fluff, I like to go 'IT'S SO FLUFFY!' (oh-oh, I might have to add unicorns and go even crazier now) because laughter is the best medicine :D And it's not always we find the time to read serious, heavy stories ^^
Hehe, it is so going wrong, though. Bumpy ride indeed. :D

Thank so much for reviewing! Hope you had fun with the Eggstravaganza and had a nice Easter if you celebrate it!

*Gee



 Report Review

Review #10, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Potions and Baths

16th March 2014:
Hey again!

So the start of this was really creepy in Sev's POV. You did a good job of his characterisation. I don't see many stories where he's the ring leader and master planner so it was a good change. Your descriptions of the potions were also really great, I loved the detail you used.

The second half was much more relaxed and fun with the marauders! Poor James... I'm not convinced a sparkly tie is what chicks will go for but I give him 10/10 for effort! The whole thing with Peter in the bath was suitably awkward... you did a great job of writing that part.

Quick typo for you: "Chicks did shiny things. I think you mean chicks dig shiny things!

Great chapter again though!

Lauren :)
Gryffindor vs Slytherin Review 20 of 20!

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yay, I'm glad you like my evil Sevvy!! He's so much fun to write!
Ooh, I had to research the appropriate potions for quite a while until I found them! :D

Haha, yeah! James is really trying hard, fussing and worrying Lily will just turn him down again - this is the ultimate try to get Evans to admit she kind likes him a bit, James is pulling all the strings... Maybe he's getting a little desperate with the glitter but hey, maybe it'll work? Hehehe^^

I'm glad the scene with Peter felt awkward enough - it wasn't all that easy to write :D

Aaargh, thank you for pointing out the typo - I noticed it after the chapter was validated, edited it in word and completely forgot about it afterwards!7

Again, thank you for reviewing (twice!^^) and again, sorry for the late responses - the following chapters are up by now if you're still interested ;)

Cheers!
Iellwen (Gee)


 Report Review

Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Cauldrons and Cheese

16th March 2014:
Hey there!

So, I can't resist a marauders fic!

I liked the start of this... what exactly is Snape up to? This potion seems very like him but I can't help but wonder what password Snape is after! Poor Pettigrew, he got right in the middle of it there. He doesn't have much luck at all does he?

So this party sounds like it's going to be interesting! Was Snape after the password to the party? The party would be wrecked if he turned up - I'm sure he would love to ruin a marauders party.

I thought your characterisation of the marauders was good, although they weren't perceptive enough to pick up that Peter wasn't himself! I hope that doesn't come back and haunt them later! Poor James too, I love that you got his love for Lily in there!

So this was a good first chapter and I'm definitely curious to see where you take it next! My one CC would be to be a little more explicit at times who is talking... it did get a little confusing at times! Great job though!

Lauren :)
Gryffindor vs Slytherin Review 19 of 20

Author's Response: Hi Lauren!

This is my first time writing about the Marauders - I love it, they are such a fun group of friends!

Snape... is up to a lot and very little at the same time. He would really, really love to ruin that party... Oh, he really would. Hehehe.
The password he's looking for is actually for the party; the last step he needs to overcome to get it - I'll get to that in later chapters (more accurately, I think in chapter 6^^)

Yes, the marauders are really overlooking Peter's troubles, aren't they... More to that in later chapters (more accurately, chapter 5 will be about Pettigrew)... It will totally turn around and bite them in the hiney. Might even bite off a big chunk somewhere. Hehehe...
This party is going so wrong! :D

Thanks for your CC; I've added some dialog tags here and there now :D It really was getting confusing and that's no fun!

Thank you so much for reviewing (twice!) and my apologies for taking so long to respond!

And congrats to the Griffies for winning the Bingo! :D

Iellwen (Gee)


 Report Review

Review #12, by ShadowRose Potions and Baths

7th March 2014:
Hello, back again for the Blackout Battle!

Once again, I really love Snape's character in this. He's trying so hard to be that "cool" villain, and Aubrey's there messing it up and ruining the whole thing - I can't help but find it hilarious. I wonder what he's up to... there's no doubt that potions are his specialty, so it'll be really interesting to see what you come up with.

I also like the interactions you've created with the boys here - they're all constantly poking fun at one another and messing around, and the interactions are definitely very natural. Aww, and James really does like Lily genuinely - that's sweet, even if he keeps getting picked on for it by Sirius. The Peter drowning scene was also pretty funny, because their whole massive avoidance to touch him while he's naked is so true of teenage guys trying to protect their heterosexuality, and I don't know, it just made me giggle!

Make sure you're spacing is consistent throughout - there are some paragraphs that are close together, and others that are farther apart. That can be a bit jarring to the reader's eye, so try to keep those the same, just to make it a little easier on the reader. :)

Overall, this story is shaping up to be pretty funny - and I can't wait to see what happens next, especially with all of Snape's scheming!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor!

Thank you again for reviewing two chapters! :D

I'm glad you like Severus (and Aubrey) - they are both much fun to write! Snape's potions actually exist (found them on the HPWiki, hehehe ;) ) and I love picturing him scheming and scheming, failing like the coyote after the road-runner :D Who knows, maybe this story if one of his few successes? Hehehe... ^^

Writing the boys wasn't all that easy at first - I observed, then even asked a few of my male friends about their interaction with one another!^^
"Basically", boys don't really communicate and aren't all that open with their feelings except when they friendly tease, shove or punch each other. The love is shown through pseudo macho-lines or behavior...
A friend of mine told me a story about a guy he know, so uncomfortable in the men's room he can't use a urinal - the way he told the story was so hilarious, I let it inspire me :D

Guys, like girls, behave differently in a group than under four eyes.
I'm sure if Peter had been alone with Remus or James or Sirius, any of the three would jump in without hesitating.
But then again, no guy would be alone in a bathroom with a bathing buddy - no matter how big the tub and foamy the water ^^
Picturing the same scene with girls, I wonder if there would be the same trouble with breasts :D
Either way, funny ^^

Yeah, I got carried away with James and he's in serious, deep puppy love - and somehow, it fits. Maybe that's how he got Lily to believe his love for her; he abandoned all facade and pride, declared her his eternal love, made a fool of himself and still want to adore her until her hair turns grey. I expect, somehow, that's the kind of love James showered Lily with :D


Thank you very much for pointing out the spacing - it just keeps sneaking in every now and then. :D I'll watch out for the off spaces and fix them asap!


I'm happy you like where the story is headed (a few more chapters are up by now - sorry it took me so long to respond to your great review!), I'm not so unhappy about it myself, hehehe :D

Iellwen (Gee)


 Report Review

Review #13, by ShadowRose Cauldrons and Cheese

7th March 2014:
Hello! I'm here for Blackout Bingo!

I saw this story on your Author's Page and was immediately attracted to it - I love Marauder stories, and a party gone wrong seems like a great concept for a story.

I like the two contrasting point-of-views here - they provide two totally different perspectives. I like your characters of James and Sirius, they're both really nutty and immature, and I think it's funny to see them interact and "fight" with one another. I also think it's kinda funny that Sirius doesn't like Lily - that's not something you see a lot but I could definitely see why he wouldn't like her. I also really liked Snape - he was trying to hard to play the perfect villain, and the plan kind of fell on his face. I wonder what they did to Peter? I guess that'll be explained later. Is that really his normal behaviour? I feel like the other guys would be more suspicious of him acting like that, since his behaviour really is kind of odd.

As a suggestion, when you're writing about interactions between more than two people, make sure to always use dialogue tags so that the reader can tell who's speaking. Without those, it can be a little confusing, and the reader can get overwhelmed trying to figure out who's saying what.

I'm actually really excited for the next chapter - I get the feeling there's going to be some party-sabotaging on Snape's part, so I'm looking forward to whatever happens next!

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hi Taylor,

Thank you for reviewing Sweet Madness (wow, two chapters, even! that makes me so happy! :D ) !
This is the first Marauders' story I'm writing and I'm enjoying every bit of it :D

Aah, I'm glad the characterization comes off nicely! It's so much fun to write about James and Sirius (nutty and immature - perfect description^^) and their close friendship!
I feel Sirius would be a bit lost without spending so much time which James - and that's bound to happen with Lily
Remus will also get his POV as the story progresses - they all will!
Severus is hilarious to write :D He tries really hard to be bad, to be evil... Everything goes wrong in this story, not just the James' party :D

And Peter... Hehe... Pettigrew is often under-rated, even left out in Marauders era stories... This isn't the case here :D
Chapter 5 is a Peter chapter ;)

You're totally right about the dialog tags - I'll edit that asap! It even confused me as I re-read this chapter, and that shouldn't be ^^ Thank you very much for pointing that out!

I'm sorry it took me so long to respond - I had a lot on my mind in RL and am answering reviews in chronological order, one by one ^^

Congrats to you Grffies for winning this time ;)

Cheers!
Gee.


 Report Review

Review #14, by Unwritten Curse Cauldrons and Cheese

1st March 2014:
Hello, hello! I'm here for the Blackout Battle. :)

I just love the Marauders. Especially when they're at Hogwarts, because they're all such goofballs. Something interesting is going on here, though. I'm curious as to what Snape is up to in regards to his "revenge." Was Peter sent to spy on him? Poor Peter always manages to get himself stuck in bad situations.

Since I know that this is for the "Party Gone Wrong" challenge, I know something ridiculous is going to happen. I wonder what it is! Knowing the marauders, they will fail spectacularly. Haha.

Something that was a bit confusing at times was the dialogue. You don't always use dialogue tags, so at times I wasn't sure who was talking. It was entertaining dialogue, so I would've liked to know who said what!

Good luck with both challenges!

-- Gina

Author's Response: Hi Gina! Thanks for stopping by! :D

The Marauders are awesome :D It's incredibly fun to write about them in put them through such hardships and awkward situations! ^^
I can promise Snape's revenge is going to be HUGE - and Peter will end up (along a few others) in terrible situations - and it's going to be mad :P
And yes, it's going to be ridiculous :D

Thanks for pointing out the dialogue tags - I found it fun at first, not really knowing for sure who's speaking... But re-reading a chapter, it's really confusing^^ I'll take care of that in a few :)

Oh, and what Peter was up to and who the other student was will be explained in further chapters (hehehe)

Thank you so much for the great review


 Report Review

Review #15, by Red_headed_juliet Potions and Baths

20th February 2014:
I like the titles. Not sure why, but it reminds me of old batman movies, you know? With the 'meanwhile, in the batcave'. Maybe that's just me.

Anyways! I like what you've done here. I love how Snape is a huge dork with a dramatic exit planned, cape woosh and all, and how he is stuck with a ridiculous sidekick. It's all very endearing, and refreshing not to have something so serious happening. The marauders are wonderful. I love the back and forth between all of them, it really feels very natural. All in all, a very good story! I enjoyed reading it very much.

Thanks for the swap! Until next time- RHJ

Author's Response: I'm glad you noticed the titles!! I totally get what you mean, now that you mention it! I now HAVE to use the 'meanwhile' :D

I love how you've picked out most of my favorite aspects of this story :D I'm having so much fun writing it because it's not serious! ^^
Picturing Snape as a teenager with a slightly bit of confidence made him a dork for some reason; the rest wrote itself and I didn't sway from some cliches :D I got so carried away with him, I was a bit worried the interaction between the Marauders was too hurried! I'm really happy you enjoyed it :D

It was a great swap, thank you! Until next time, indeed ;)


 Report Review

Review #16, by blackballet Cauldrons and Cheese

14th February 2014:
Oh this was so good! I especially loved the beginning because I don't think we get enough of a Severus first POV. I loved that he was working on a potion. I feel like as a student potions and Lily were his motivators.

I think this is really interesting and the teasing was very true to the marauders I think. I do, however, think that Remus would have been a little more skeptical of Peter's behavior. That's just how I characterize Remus.

Overall, I think it's a great first chapter and it's something different than the usual marauder fic.

Thanks for the great read!

Author's Response: Hi there! :D

You pin-pointed Snape's motivations perfectly!! I recognize a fellow Severus lover, there! :D
I'm glad you liked the teasing between the Marauders - I agree Remus is a bit OOC but I had to make it work without having the boys go on and on about Peter for too long and spoiling my lazy plan ;)

Thank you so much for the nice review!
I'm glad you liked the first chapter already - the second is being validated as we speak ^^
I hope I'll catch you again for the next swap :)


 Report Review

Review #17, by MidnightBlue_x Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Hello There, this is ElysiumJayne from the forums here to review this chapter for my challenge.

First of all, I'd like to thank you for entering my challenge. I hope you're enjoying it so far. Now, onto the actually review! I have to admit this was not what I was expecting at all- I had in my mind that the entries I would get would be all very serious (excuse the pun) but I'm so happy to see that my first entry is as much fun as this is.

I think the little introduction from Snape's point of view was very well done. It's not often that Snape really gets a voice in Marauder centric fics. I can't wait to see where you go with the Marauders themselves though- it'll be interesting to see how Snape's big plan is going to affect them all.

All in all, this chapter was very interesting and mysterious. I can't wait to see more and I wish you good luck!

x Ely

Author's Response: Hi Ely! So sorry it took me so long to respond - I swear I usually answer reviews immediately!

Thank you so much for stopping by! And thank YOU for creating the challenge! I'm having loads of fun with this story :D
I almost went for a serious (love the pun, I'll be using it if you don't mind^^) but as I started adding elements of things going wrong for Reebee's Challenge, I got crazy carried away and it turned into mad fluff ^^

I'm glad you liked Snape; he's often underrated sometimes and has so much potential as a villain that's not really evil :D
I'm really enjoying writing about the Marauders, especially since Sirius is my favorite^^

Thanks again for stopping by and for creating the challenge!!
The second chapter will be up soon ^^


 Report Review

Review #18, by maraudertimes Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Hiya! Review swap! Sorry that I'm so late, I just got caught up in real world stuff... But I'm here now!

Before I start, the one thing I noticed was that you called the Marauders by their last names quite a bit, but unless the story's being narrated by someone who isn't close to them, that just seems a little bit off.

Other than that, it was really nice! I loved how you portrayed Snape - brooding and still really amazing at potions, and very much interested in revenge. I also liked the subtle hint at Peter's rat-like behaviours with the cheese. I see that everywhere and it never fails to disappoint. :)

I also liked how the Marauders interacted with each other, and they seem very brotherly and close, which is something that I always love to see. This was really well done and nicely written.

Good job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hi Lo!! I'm so sorry it took me so long to respond! (10 whole days!! O_0)

Thank you so much for pointing out the use of the last names - I got carried away in Snape POV when I wrote the 1st chapter even though he's not the main character ^^ I've applied a few changes here and there already :D

I love how you perceived Snape just as I wanted him to be! I love the idea of a teenage Snape that has a passionate thirst for revenge and does not hesitate to go dramatic for it :D

I was worried about the Marauders' interaction since this is my first time writing about teenage boys and I had to ask around to make sure they didn't interact like girls or too awkwardly. And I'm glad you liked Peter's love for cheese^^ It's almost overused so I was a bit worried about that, but I'm really happy you liked it :D

Thank you so much!


 Report Review

Review #19, by Rumpelstiltskin Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Reporting for swapping duty :)!

Okay, where do I begin?

I definitely loved the structure to this. By initially beginning with Snape and his scheming, you've established an idea that something is just going to go wrong. Furthermore, oh no-- they've captured Peter! Yes, I'd have to say that something is going to go very wrong. I really want to know what the substance is inside the vial and what Snape is scheming!

Then, of course, we move into the Marauder's conversations. I love the interactions between the three boys -- James, Sirius, and Remus -- as they were quirky and humorous. They seem to be taking some careful consideration into this party-planning! Their teasing made me laugh.

Then Peter returns! I feel like, at this point, I should be listening to some creepy and ominous music! Bum-bum-bum (or something to that extent). I can't wait to find out how this will all pan-out! :D

Great job!

-Rumpel

Author's Response: Heya Rumpel!

Thank you so much for the awesome review!!

I'm glad you liked the structure!
Something is definitely going to go wrong :D Snape is scheming utter (teenage) evil and his potion is indeed going to be explained :D
And the Marauders made you laugh!!! That makes me so happy! ^^
The reason the party's so important is going to be revealed in the next chapter ;)

Ominous music would've been perfect!! Glad you picked up on that ;)

Things are going to get crazy!!

Again, thank you :)


 Report Review

Review #20, by love_is_magic_ Cauldrons and Cheese

4th February 2014:
Review swap :D

This was such a great, playful story!

You provided such a different take on each of these characters. The only ones you portrayed in a traditional way were Sirius and Peter. It was refreshing and interesting! I wouldn't think Snape to have friends at all, or say anything like "to the cauldrons"! When somebody was worried about Pettigrew, I thought for sure it would be Remus! I was so shocked to see that you made that James, and even more shocked when Lupin agreed that the worry was silly. The playful banter from Sirius about Lily was, of course, endearingly familiar :)

Really the only CC I have is that the beginning was a little confusing. It took me a few reads to grasp what was going on, mostly because the dialogue was throwing me off. I think a short descriptive paragraph in the beginning somewhere (maybe after the first line), explaining where everyone is in the room and what's going on, would have been very helpful. But that was the only minor issue I had and overall I thought the story was very good :)

The cliff hanger at the end was great and horrible at the same time! I want to know what Snape was planning!!

Thanks so much for writing this story! I really enjoyed reading it!

Christy

Author's Response: Hey, thank you so much for your quick reaction and the great review!! :D

Yes, I went crazy with the characters ^^
Especially with Snape - he's actually one of my favorite characters as he is :D But I really wanted to play around with the idea of him having enough confidence to act rather actively on his emotions, as well as being completely mad^^ Hence the "to the cauldrons!" - just picturing him saying it with a straight face and a dramatically swooshing cape cracks me up :D

I'll see what I can think of about the first lines. It's a shame if the beginning of the very first chapter is so confusing and throws the reader off... Thank you very much for pointing it out!! :D

I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it - you thanking me made me blush... :)
Again, thanks for the great review!!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login