Reading Reviews for waterfall.
  
11 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Rumpelstiltskin truth be told.

16th March 2014:
Hello there! (Blackout number 15/20)!

Plot/plot arch: This is fantastic. In some of Shakespeare's plays, he uses hand-washing as a sign of mental or emotional trouble and deterioration in response to feeling guilt and remorse over something they've done. I think my favorite example is in Macbeth, where Lady Macbeth begin compulsively washing her hands to rid any reminiscence of a murder. You've done something similar here, where Molly is compulsively washing her hands to make her feel better, which I think is an awesome element that you've added. It excessive to the point of self-harm, which you've covered the sensitive subject nicely.

Characterization: Molly is clearly troubled, and everything that has been in this as indirect or direct characterization of her has pointed directly to that. She's suffering.

Style*: Obviously, this is not your typical style, but I have read just about everything 800 words has written, and I think you've done a nice job replicating her style.

Emotion: Despite all of the indirect emotions that have been in here, indicated mostly by the hand-washing to the point of self-harm, you've added some very direct examples of emotion, which only highlights the depth of emotion that is meant to be evoked. She's "Forgotten. Broken. Alone." You've done a very good job at evoking some heavy emotions.


Other/notes: This has some great poetic aspects to it, and I think that it's absolutely fabulous.

-Rumpel

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Review #2, by MyMyMiss truth be told.

14th March 2014:
Oh wow, the raw emotion you put into writing this story as amazing!

I loved the small intervals of reflections like 'I called them stupid' and now she understand exactly how it feels.

'The mean lady' No one wants to be looked after, unless you're i'll like with the flu or anything, and when you are in hospital you instantly dislike all the nurses that are attempting to look after you because the annoy you, so I really liked what you wrote there!

I am now acquainted with 800 words of heavens style of writing, and I actually think you did a pretty good job of her writing style. You reflected a lot and your pace and flow were consistent the entire way throughout they story.

I really enjoyed reading this!

~MMM

-blackout review 8/20

Author's Response: Hey again! i'm so bad at responding to reviews in a timely manner! sorry!

I'm super pleased you liked those intervals :) I had loads of fun writing those :)

Ah, mean ladies. I think there will always be one, for them. They realize later that they truly do help, unless of course they're really strange people lolol.

Thanks for reading and reviewing :) I really appreciate the time you took to leave a review.


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Review #3, by DoctorUnderwood truth be told.

10th March 2014:
Ok. Bear with me for a second. This fic reminded me of something we discussed ad nauseam in my Lit Class.

In a lot of literature (Hamlet, The Awakening, The Mill (an excellent poem by EA Robinson)) female characters die by committing suicide in water. It's an interesting trend in many works.

The theory comes from women experiencing a lot of wetness ie childbirth and other wet experiences. I'll stop there. It's actually rather interesting and I encourage you to do some more research on the topic.

And anyway this story reminded me of that because of the whole beginning and ending in water. Sorry if that was rambling and incoherent!

And I'd better actually leave a real review!

I thought that this story was thought provoking and interesting. You definitely made your point clear and by no means was this badly written!

Author's Response: Hiya! Sorry for the late response! *hides*

Seriously? Wow, that's very interesting. I'm looking forward to Hamlet all of a sudden, because that concept is highly intriguing. I'll definitely be looking into that, because it's very cool! So thanks :D

Aw, thank you so much! I am flattered you liked it because I was extra mopey while writing this haha and all meh and I wrote it in half an hour so it was weird.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you liked the story!


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Review #4, by love_is_magic_ truth be told.

7th March 2014:
Hey there!

So starting out, this story does an amazing job of catching your attention. I love the very beginning, about everything beginning and ending with water. It's just written very well and is very thought provoking.

Oh no, Molly has OCD, doesn't she :( Well, I must say again, you really make me want to keep reading!

Wow, such a powerful connection to the water reference earlier. Actually, the reference runs all through here, doesn't it!

Okay, so I'm not really sure what to say on this besides it was amazing! In only 500 words, it was so powerful and truly made you feel everything Molly was feeling. You did such a great job here, I absolutely loved it!

Christy

Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle 2/15

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Review #5, by adluvshp truth be told.

7th March 2014:
Blackout Battle 11/15

First off, I disagree with your author's note. This story is anything but bad writing. To be honest, I loved it.
Molly's pain and emotions were expressed really well here.
I loved your writing style, especially the use of brackets such as (I lied) and such. It made it all the more powerful.
Conveying the events and the pain in such a small amount of words is also very commendable. You really did a great job.
I liked how you showed the "progress" of her self-harm, if you can call it that. It made me feel for her all the more.

All in all, I loved your descriptions and the writing style here. The characterisation and theme was very touching and well portrayed.

Good work,
-AD
(AditiDraco95)

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Review #6, by Lululuna truth be told.

6th March 2014:
Hi Nadia! :) First of all, welcome back to the land of snow! And to the battle! :D

Ah, this was so gorgeous. I'm really impressed with the voice and pain you got across in the few words here, and packing a complete story into 500 words is really a great accomplishment.

I like how as the story progressed, what was going on became clearer and clearer. At the first line I was just like "?? Science??" but then you create this picture of this vibrant character - who is bitter and angry and hurting, but also clever and witty and real.

(Why did you do it Molly?) The parts in brackets were a powerful device here. This one, like it could be both the others questioning her and questioning herself, was really strong. I also really liked the last section in brackets, and how it explains all the troublesome images of the story and ties it together. The use of understatement here is truly brilliant.

I quite liked the imagery of the mittens and how Molly used it to hide her scars. Protection from the snow ties into the theme of water which was so strong throughout the story. It was a very simple, yet telling metaphor, and how Molly used hot water to abuse herself was really original and vivid, yet heartbreaking manipulation of water. The symbolism was brilliant.

I loved this, Nadia! :) It was a beautiful story and one which created this voice ringing so clearly in my mind. Well done!

Gryffindor vs. Slytherin Blackout Battle, Round 2 - Review 2 of 15

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Review #7, by Akussa truth be told.

13th February 2014:
Hi! Congratulation are in order here : you are the oficial recipient of my 600th review! And I might add that this is probably in the top 10 quality-wise story that I have reviewed.

This piece is just so beautifully written, it's heartbreaking. We can feel the distress and emotional descent of Molly. I work with children and teenagers that suffer these kinds of psychological disorders I can tell you that you are spot on with her reactions. I especially like the fact that you did not pinpoint the reason behind the behavior because it's rarely clear what triggers such a need for cleansing rituals - at least not in the first steps of a therapy. Or it's very clear to everyone around the patient but he/she hasn't come to terms with it yet.

You did a wonderful job with the rythm and almost poetic narrative. The way you travel from descripting the behavior to the emotional reaction of Molly, then of the entourage; new degree of dangerosity, behavior, intrinsec reaction, extrinsec reaction. Beautifully portrayed.

If I have one bit of criticism, it would be your authors' note in the chapter summary. Personnally, I'd take it away for two reasons. 1) there is no need for it considering how wonderful this piece is. 2) I'm usually turned off from reading a piece when I see an author speaking disparagingly about his or her work. There are enough people in the world that will happily denigrate your work (with good or bad reasons), therefore, you should always be proud of what you put out; if you chose to present this piece, present it proudly and let the readers decide of their appreciation.

That was today's pearl of wisdom :)

Overall an amazingly profound and touching piece that I enjoyed from beginning to end, great work!

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Review #8, by maraudertimes truth be told.

11th February 2014:
Hello!

Ergh, why must you do this to me? This was so beautifully written and it's so gorgeous, but so heartbreaking.

I think you really captured Molly's disintegration to self-harm very well and the beginning, the transition, and the end seemed very realistic yet very sad, and Molly's attitude in the 'bad place' with the 'mean woman' also seemed true to form.

I've never been in a situation like this, nor have I witnessed this, but I do believe you wrote this amazing well and realistically. The emotions seemed raw and the ending was quite sad, with Molly showing that she understood why that joke could be considered in bad taste and not quite funny. It showed that she understood that what she was doing was bad, which makes the fact that she did it that much harsher.

Everything I read from you is simply beautiful and sad (be happy, doll! :P), and also wonderfully written. I kind of love Molly II so I think this one might be my favourite so far.

So thank you, for posting this, because I loved reading this. Amazing, gorgeous, superb job!
Lo:') (I'm not crying, I swear!)

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Review #9, by patronus_charm truth be told.

5th February 2014:
Why was I not told about this? If I hadnít been putting my not so good stalking skills into practice this would have been hidden from forever! Anyhow, Iím here now so itís all sort of good!

Yaya for science things! It made me feel so smart understand those things, and it made me view the story in a different way. Well, what I mean is that people tend to use the same old description throughout, but using these scientific terms to describe things really put it into another light and I really enjoyed reading it like that.

Also, congrats for winning the Every Word Counts Challenge! Itís a really cool feeling it, isnít it? Though a pain when editing in case you accidentally go over or under 500 words :P

MIND BLOW. I was doing OCDs today at school as part of learning about Freud so perhaps it was a good thing you didnít tell me about it otherwise there would have been no coincidence and no fun. Anyhow, I really liked how you built it up with gradual signs at first because I thought it was just a small thing and then gradually progressing it into a bigger and bigger thing and that was really good given the small word count, and it was done so effectively!

The style choices in here were really fantastic! They added to that sort of detached air you had between Molly and her own family and it worked really well with the feel of the story. Another reason why I liked it because the things in brackets meant we got to see the narrative from another perspective which made it a lot more interesting read because it revealed the real Molly in those parts.

I found the ending so interesting to read because I was sort of hoping that she would finally realise that she did have this compulsion and that it was just something obsessive in her head and not washing her hands wouldnít bring about anything bed, but in a way your ending felt the most fitting rather than my wishful one. It really highlighted how much time it can take to recover from problems such as these and how it changes your perception of reality with these new Ďenemiesí.

I really liked the small sign of hope at the end with Molly perhaps realising what was wrong with her and that could be a signal for change. Iím glad you didnít expand on it further because the ambiguity of it was a lot more fun. This was such a great one-shot, Nadia, and a really interesting read! Plus, it conveyed so much in 500 words and that really should be commended!

-Kiana

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Review #10, by nott theodore truth be told.

3rd February 2014:
So. Nadia. I am not impressed by the fact you hid this story from me and didn't tell me that it had been validated. Nope. Not at all. Hmph. Anyway. Review.

Congratulations on winning the Every Word Counts Challenge! I know from experience that it's hard to manage, so well done on getting exactly 500 words for this story. I haven't actually read many of 800wordsofheaven's stories, so I can't tell you how you did as far as that is concerned, but I really enjoyed this!

You know I've got a soft spot for Molly II, and this version of her was really interesting. I liked how you took some of the elements that we normally see of her character and twisted them a bit - I could tell she was Percy's daughter, but there were some changes, and some more exaggerated behaviours that were a fresh take on the Percyishness (totally a word) that's been passed down.

The fact that she's got some sort of compulsion about washing her hands is really interesting - Molly seemed aware of the fact that it had become a way of hurting herself rather than just an obsession, and I'd have like to know a bit more about why she did that, I think, although it's hard to get everything like that in a 500 word story! But I liked Molly's character and her consciousness of what she was doing, and the fact there was still a dark humour in there too.

The brackets were really clever, and I liked the way that you used them to sort of carry on conversations and give a better idea about what people were thinking and doing in the story.

I have to say, I loved the fact that you didn't forget her family! She was happy enough to let her parents see her, but the extended family not so much, which I think would be true to what she's going through. The fact that you just mentioned Rose and the wider family helped give us a better idea about her age and relationship with them all as well.

The fact that she kept referring to it as the 'bad place' made her seem a bit like a child, and fit well with her state of mind at the time, I think. She's seeing people as the enemy when they make her do things she doesn't want to, and even though she's aware of what she's done and why she's doing it, it's like she's trying to mask the thoughts behind it with that name.

I can't think of what else to say, lovely! Except I'd be very happy to see you write more about Molly II in the future, maybe even something that goes from this into what she did before or after!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Wait what no, I didn't hide it, I simply just didn't mention it there's a DIFFERENCE DUHH.

Lol, what winning and what congratulations :P This was a terrible attempt lol :P I was all, 'GAH DEADLINE DEADLINE DEADLINE" and as soon as I hit 500 I was like, okay stop now please Nadia. I'm pretty sure I didn't at all do 800WoH's style properly. They write fluffy stuff, and the only thing a bit similar was short phrases and the use of first person.. yeah.

You make me seem so clever and intelligent but I'm not haha :P She was supposed to be this random strange girl who was upset with life, and this was her way of self harming, because it was such a... I dunno.. harmless thing and she manipulated it to make it wrong. I wasn't meaning for her compulsiveness to come out as Percyishness (awesome word!) :P But now you mentioned it and I feel smart so thank you!!!

This was supposed to be so much longer! I wanted to actually show her washing her hands. I actually wanted to show a lot more, but that wasn't happening becase I couldn't get to word it right... so I skipped that bit :P

Wah, yeha the brackets were weird but you liked them, yay!

Thanks so much for erm, enjoying this piece. I think I shouldn't have put it up because after Drummer Boy.. well, I don't know. But thank you for your kind words, they mean so much to me.

THANK YOU!!! ♥

Nadia.


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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 truth be told.

2nd February 2014:
Hi! This story looked super interesting, so I read it. And now I'm going to give you a review. :)

So, I've read a lot of 800 words of heaven's work--she's a brilliant author, and you are, too. Don't be too hard on yourself if you think that you didn't quite get the style right. After all, we've each got our own styles, and no matter how hard we try, we'll never be able to perfectly mimic someone else's. I, for one, think that you did a remarkable job.

Psychological problems in fanfiction always fascinate me. Here in the world of Next Generation Harry Potter stories, with pregnancies and parties and sex galore, people sometimes forget about the what ifs: What if someone's "fatal flaw" (so to speak) was something inside of their head? What if the problem got carried a bit too far? What if...?

Molly's characterization is absolutely brilliant. She has a sense of humor, as evidenced by her line at the end. She knows that what she's doing is destructive, but she can't stop and it would seem that she doesn't really want to stop. I find it incredibly interesting that she "did do it for the attention." I've never battled OCD or anything like that, so I don't know how it feels or why people do it, really, except that their minds are telling them to. Why did Molly need the attention that she wasn't getting? Was she jealous of her "annoying" family members?

I also think it's cool that you chose Molly. Molly is Percy's kid--uptight, borderline megalomaniac Percy--so it makes a lot of sense that she, too, would have obsessive tendencies. Thinking about her as the "obsessive compulsive" child rather than the "smart, bookish, strict, old maid-ish" child really turns everything upside down. You've created an incredibly compelling character, so well done! :D

My favorite part about this one-shot is how it starts with water and it ends with water--just like Molly's problem. So, in essence, with her joke she's actually talking about the story as well as her problem. ...I don't know, I just think that's really cool.

Fabulous work! :)

~UnluckyStar57

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