Reading Reviews for snake
  
7 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarlightAsteria an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

7th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Nicely done- well written dialect (not overdone, and so hard to read), and you have to feel sorry for Salazar :). Well done for showing both sides - kids can be very mean to each other, and you make both Salazar and Haleigh and Ainslee's perspectives understandable. I liked your highlighting of discrimination, gifts and people being different. :)

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Review #2, by UnluckyStar57 an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

16th April 2014:
Wow, this is such a different take on Slytherin's character! I am really amazed by it!!

You totally overturned some of my thoughts about him with this chapter. I've always imagined Salazar Slytherin to consider himself higher than women, and so, seeing that he was friends with two girls was really different. But he was an elitist later in life, so perhaps as a boy he was much less intolerant of people.

His mother, as well-meaning as she was, certainly laid the foundations for his elitist beliefs. Telling him that his friends were too stupid to appreciate him will lead to the belief that he is better than everyone who isn't magical, which will lead to other bad things... I am glad that he wasn't always this way, though.

But Ainslie and Haleigh were quite out of line with their hysteria. Of course they didn't understand what was going on, and for the time period, talking to snakes would've marked anyone as insane. But I can't help wishing that they'd even a little more curious than scared. Oh well... That's just the way things go.

As always, your writing is impeccable. I really enjoyed reading this!

~UnluckyStar57

For the Huffleclaw-Ravenpuff Eggstravaganza.

Author's Response: Gah, hello Mallory!

Wow, thanks so much! I'm so glad I was able to convince you of some of my headcanon, and that I was able to pull off the convincing alright! I'm actually not sure that Sal would have considered himself higher than women. Muggles, yes, but as he founded a school with two other, powerful, women I don't really think that he would have been convinced of that. But as a boy I definitely agree that he would have been less prejudiced.

I know, poor Sal. :( I don't think this necessarily was the only event that led to his beliefs, but it was definitely one of the reasons. I'm glad he had a brief period of innocence as well, children deserve that much at least.

Yeah, I think nowadays some people might have taken it better, but in those times snakes would have been regarded as terrible creatures, especially because of religious reasons and the serpent who tempted Eve - snakes would have been the embodiment of that and so people were much more scared of them then than they are now.

Thank you so much for this amazing review, it really made my day! ♥


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Review #3, by Courtney Dark an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

18th February 2014:
Hey there! Thanks so much for entering the Uncomfortable Challenge!

Wow, I absolutely love the direction you took with the prompt of Salazar Slytherin. It was very fresh and unusual, and very enjoyable to read!

The conversation with Salazar and his friends was very fun - I loved the way you used the "street kid" dialogue, it really set the tone and time for this whole piece, which was great! Salazar seemed so sweet and innocent! But I can definitely see how this particular incident would have begun to influence decisions he made later in life, the person he became.

I loved the way you ended this one-shot, with the conversation between Salazar and his mother. I thought the last two lines, especially, were absolutely fantastic: “You mean they’re not clever?”

“That’s right, Salazar. They are not clever enough to realise that what you have is something to be cherished and admired. They are just afraid, and cannot be bothered to learn about it, instead living in blind fear of it. You are special, Salazar, always remember that.”

For me, that really summed up the type of person Salazar grew into.

Nice work!

Courtney:)

Author's Response: Hey there! Sorry for taking ages to reply.

I'm so glad you liked the way I went with this! Basically I was too scared to write an adult Salazar, and so HPFF got stuck with a story about Young!Salazar. :P I'm really glad you enjoyed reading this!

Ah yay, the slang-y dialogue I used was one of the things I was worried about most, because have no clue where that came from or even what dialect it is, it just sort of happened. I'm really glad it set the tone for this piece well, I wsa hoping it wouldn't be too out-of-place. I'm really happy you could see how this would influence him later in life as well, I meant for this to be something small that he would remember and it seems innocent or isolated but actually has a pretty big impact on his life.

Ah, I'm glad you liked that! I wanted there to be a sort of contrast there, and I'm really glad that you liked the ending! My music teacher always told me that if my playing was avergae throughout the piece but leaves an impression at the end people will remember it, so I can only hope the same applies to writing. :P

I'm really glad you liked this silly piece, and thank you for the challenge, I really enjoyed writing for it!


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Review #4, by Lululuna an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

8th February 2014:
Hi Emily! :)

I like this a lot! I love how you've written about Salazar as a boy and planted the hints for his dark and twisted future. :P You've set up si well how he might begin to resent Muggles, how his mother raises him to have a sense of superiority, and how talking with snakes is both a gift and something which sets him apart from others negatively.

I liked how with the dialogue I could tell the difference between the "lower-class" Muggles and how Salazar's mother would want him to speak. It set the distinctions between them and how the Slytherin family sees themselves. You did a great job with the dialogue and slang in my opinion, I especially liked the line about "drowning like a kitten" as that would have been a common practice in those days and it fit well that the children would think of it. :(

I really like how much you conveyed through the dialogue and how it really told the story. I'm not sure if it was on purpose or not that the story was mostly told through speech, though I was quite curious about what they all looked like and about the medieval setting! :P Then again though, I am a bit of a description addict so feel free to ignore this. :)

I loved the moment where Sal says that snakes swear - it was so pivotal and immediately I felt the whole mood of the story shift to something warier and darker. It's so sad how his friends didn't want to meet Apple, though I thought it was very fitting for the time period. Snakes would have been associated with the fall of man and with the devil, and I really wouldn't expect the probably superstitious girls to act any other way. It's so interesting how for Sal, the snakes are harmless little creatures he likes to speak with, but for those who don't understand, it's a mark of upmost evil. :( I feel a little sorry for snakes - and Salazar! - here, because they really are unobtrusive and harmless, but people like Voldemort turn them into evil creatures that are used for terror.

You did a really great job here with having a very small and simple story of a seemingly meaningless childhood incident, but planting the seeds for who Sal is going to grow up to be. I feel like this might be a memory he would think about years in the future, and still hold onto and be bitter about even though he's a grown man.

Well done, this was a wonderful read! :D

Author's Response: Hey Jenna! :)

Ah, I'm so glad you enjoyed this! It felt different from all the other things I've written (and with good reason, seeing as this was for the Uncomfortable Challenge) and I'm so happy you think I did a good job! I definitely did want to hint at what kind of person Salazar would become in the future, and I'm really glad you think I set that up well. :)

Ooh, thanks for that haha! I really have no clue what I was writing, I was just listening to the kids talking in my mind and then I tried to transcript it and just hoped it wasn't too mangled. :P I'm glad it set the social boundaries okay, and that I did fine in the dialogue and description. Haha yeah, I think drowning kittens would be a pretty common process back then, so it made sense that they said that.

Oh yay for that as well, thank you! I did mean for it to be told mainly through dialogue, and I'm really happy that turned out well, but I do need more description. Thank you for pointing that out, I appreciate it!

Yeah, I felt that was quite an important moment in the story and I'm glad you could feel that. I didn't mean for the mood to change, but you know, since it happened we'll pretend that I meant it. I think in that time period especially, snakes would be reviled and killed and I wanted to show that in their reactions. It's interesting how they're associated with the fall of man, that's true and I didn't think of that. I think that, like with anything else, if you get to know them better then you won't be scared of them, but of course the girls don't know anything about the snakes. Hehe, I'm glad you feel sorry for Sal and the snake!

Ah yeah, I'm so glad that happened as well - I wanted this to be something that seemed more normal, but also to show how it might have affected Salazar, and I'm really glad I managed to pull that off.

Thank you for this amazing review Jenna, it made my day and I really vaalue your opinions on my work. Thanks again!


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Review #5, by Infinityx an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

7th February 2014:
Hey there! Here for the BvB review battle!

This was something completely different to anything I've ever read, and you've written it extremely well. I love all the little details you've added and the very simplicity of the story makes it all the more interesting.

It's very refreshing to read a story in which Salazar is a kid. You've written the accents brilliantly. It took me a while to get used to it, but it really added to the story.

I love how you've portrayed Salazar as a kid. He wants nothing but to fit in with the other kids and have a few good friends. I like how you revealed him to be Salazar Slytherin slowly, and didn't just jump into that from the very beginning. There were a lot of surprising elements that fit so well with each other.

It's interesting to read about Salazar's friends being muggles. His mother seems to have a lot of influence on him. It makes a lot of sense that such an incident in his childhood made him turn out the way he is as an adult.

I loved this. The whole background on him was brilliant. You've done a great job!

~Erin

Author's Response: Hello there! I hope you're Team Blue. :P

Ah, thank you! I'm glad you found this different, and I'm so happy you think I wrote this well! I was wondering whether I used enough description, so I'm glad that you think that there was enough and that the simplicity actually added to the story rather than taking away.

Bahaha, I was too scared to write an adult Slytherin so little kid Slytherin it was! :P Oh yay, I'm so glad you think the accents were okay, you have no clue how worried I was about that. I really don't know what I was writing, I just winged it. :P I'm really happy you think it added to the story though!

Ah, thank you! I didn't want to jump into the story, and I'm glad you enjoyed that he was revealed slowly. Hehe, I'm glad that all the elements of the story fit well together!

Yeah, I don't think that as a kid, Slytherin would have been very prejudiced towards Muggles. I think that in that time period, parents would have been a huge infuence over their kids, and the age Salazar is in the story would definitely be more malleable than perhaps a teen might be.

Thank you so much for this amazing review, Erin!


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Review #6, by love_is_magic_ an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

7th February 2014:
Swapsies!

I really love your use of description, you really made the story real. You also write their accents very well! Scottish street talk? I only have one thing to point out about their dialogue, and it's really no big deal. When they say "allus", it took me until about the third time that it popped up for me to understand what they were saying. That could be just me being slow - which is very possible - but I thought I would point that out.

Ahhh I love the way you slowly introduce the fact that he's Salazar Slytherin :) very well done!

Wow, this story had a lot of depth into Salazar's character. It was really nice to see Pa rseltongue in another light. In the books, though Harry is a Pa rseltongue, we overall view that as a fluke (obviously, it's deeper than that but... for the sake of this review not going on for pages so I can gush on JK's genius) and that Pa rseltongue overall is a very dark power. It's interesting, then, to see that power in a child and to see how even Muggles perceive it, without any former biases.

I really do love how you portrayed Slytherin, it can just be read into so much. You see his innocent beginnings but, based on the people and the life he is influenced by, I can definitely tell where the later Slytherin developed from and how he got that way. Obviously, the grown-up Slytherin wasn't necessarily all that bad, but it is still a definite change. I love that his friends are Muggles. That's obviously not something you would expect from him and again catalyzes some pretty deep thought!

I loved it, well done!
Christy

P.S. Sorry for the Pa rseltongue spaces, the system thinks there's an unkind word in there if I have the whole thing together :/

Author's Response: Hello there! :D

Ooh yay I'm glad you liked the description, I was afraid I hadn't used enough. Ah, thank you! I was seriously worried bout that aspect of the story (because I have no clue what accent I was trying to write, I was just writing it :P). Okay then, next time I go in to edit I'll try to make that clearer. :) Thanks for your feedback on that, you have no clue how relieved I am.

Thank you! I didn't want to jump in this story so quickly, I wanted to introduce three kids having fun and hen reveal one of them's Slytherin. :) I'm glad you think it worked!

Hehe, I'm so glad you think so! I know, Parseltongues are shown in an evil light a lot - even Harry was under suspicion for a time in Chamber of Secrets - but I don't think that all Parseltongues are evil and looking at a child who can speak to snakes would be interesting. And I think, even without former biases, that speaking to any animal would be viewed as creepy and unnatural, and in that time snakes were feared a lot, so Muggles who knew nothing about Parseltongue would probably still dislike it.

Aw, I'm so happy that you do! I've recently discovered I enjoy writing kids, plus I was too scared to write a Slytherin who was all grown up, so... little kid Slytherin it was! :P I'm so glad you can see those hints of his future though, and how he developed, I was hoping for a bit of that to come through. I don't think, as a kid, he would have been that prejudiced towards Muggles, until they started treating him badly. I'm glad you thought that this sparked some thinking for you!

Thank you so, so much for this lovely review, it really made my day. :D


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Review #7, by patronus_charm an Apple was the cause of a lost friendship

2nd February 2014:
Whoo, first review, well hopefully, awkward if it isn’t :P

Ooh, I really enjoyed this one-shot, it was such a fun and different read to what I tend to come across. I think the key thing was the fact that Salazar was still a child and not yet this evil tyrant he’ll grow into and seeing him from this perspective was so interesting because it meant we could see how he would turn into this evil person in the future and seeing that was great.

I really liked the accent that they used, because it just showed how much Salazar wanted to fit in with the other children and how he just wanted to be accepted by them and it made my heart want to break a little. One of the best things about it was the fact that they wanted to call him Sal which just made me smile. I think it was just seeing Muggles tease him and place him in an inferior position which was so great because the irony of it was just fabulous.

The part when Salazar begins to talk to Apple was really terrifying. Mainly from the other children’s perspective because it must have been horrifying to see that happen. Given their adverse reaction to that and how it only strengthened their belief that Salazar should have been drowned like a kitten it only showed why he grew up so Muggle hating. I really liked that you added a bit of backstory to that, because in all the successful characterisations of him there always has been, and it was fun to see a different interpretation of it.

The closing scene when Salazar was with his mother was really chilling with the way she just warned him off of Muggles like that. It just showed what a huge amount of influence and power parents had upon their children and how they really could make them different. One thing which stood out to me was how she said Salazar was special because that reminded me a little of Voldemort and his belief in himself so it was fun to see it that way round.

This was such an interesting read, Emily!

-Kiana

Author's Response: Hehe whoo! Yes this was first review, haha. :D

I'm so glad you enjoyed reading this! Yeah, I've read some stories which develop Salazar by giving us insight into his childhood, and I thought it was fascinating. Plus, my prompt for this challenge was Salazar Slytherin and I was too scared to write him as an adult. :P I'm so glad you found the premise of the story interesting though!

Hahaha yeah, I really had no clue what I was doing, I just knew I wanted them to speak in really slang-y street cant and Salazar would join in to fit in with his friends. Oh dear, I'm sorry I broke your heart but it was necessary hehe. Yeah, I think that street kids would think that Salazar was a horrible name haha and wow, I didn't even notice that irony but we'll prentend I meant it yeah? :P

Ah yay, I'm glad that I managed to make it at least a little scary and believable, I wasn't sure whether the reaction of the kids was too strong, so I'm glad it wasn't! Yeah, that kitten thing started out as gentle teasing and evolved into an insult.

Haha yeah, I thought that maybe without something else he might try to go back and befriend some more Muggles, so I had his mother warn him off like that. Yeah, I'm glad it showed the inflence parents have on their kinds! I know that my parents have influenced me a lot and especially at the young-ish age Salazar is in the story, he would still be very willing to take the advice of his parents. Yeah, I think Salazar and Voldemort are very similar - and they are distant relatives after all - so I thought it would be fun to see some similarities, because at that age Tom Riddle was sure he was special.

Ah, I'm so glad you think so, Kiana!

Thank you so much for this incredible review, it really did make my day. :D


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