Reading Reviews for Our Little Secret
  
13 Reviews Found

Review #1, by hangingwallflower II.

13th July 2014:
This story is so beautifully written, I'm glad I stumbled on it. Obviously I've never seen this pairing before, but I love it and the way you've crafted the character of Molly. You've also done an excellent job of portraying Oliver. Can't wait to keep reading!

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Review #2, by IDIDNOTWANTTOHAVESEXWITHSIRIUSBLACKITWASMYPMS V.

31st May 2014:
I loved this.
Though that woman he lived with 15 years ago, that was me. But it is all forgiven as long as Oliver is happy.
Great story anyway.

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Review #3, by katie V.

23rd February 2014:
That was actually really cute!
I wasn't sure it would be because sometimes may/december things can be a little creepy.
But that was really adorable!
Well done!

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Review #4, by LaLaLuna V.

21st February 2014:
I really loved this story! The characters were really engaging and the romance was described really well. I was 100% on Molly's side the entire story, and was constantly worrying about how the secret was going to come out. The one thing that I disliked about the story? The comment about Harry's parents. They were in the same year and died when they were 21, so even if they weren't there was no way that they could have been 22 years apart. Apart from that? A very sweet, very touching short story that I loved until the very end.

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Review #5, by LilyLou IV.

18th February 2014:
Asdfghjkl;

This is amazing. Like oh my gosh. I absolutely love how you built the characters, and it certainly is a modern romance, with them being 26 years apart and all.

I cannot wait to read more. Your story has grown wonderfully! Just oh my gosh I cannot wait to read more.

Sorry this is short. I just. Ohmigosh.

-Janelle

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it :)

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Review #6, by Leney II.

6th February 2014:
I love it :) Can't wait ti finish it!

Author's Response: ♥ thanks my dear :)

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Review #7, by Violet Gryfindor II.

2nd February 2014:
If last chapter made me flail, then this one is pure asdfghjkl because oh my gosh the flashbacks to the kiss and the secret hand-holding under the table and the glances across the room and wow. So far this is the kind of romance that makes a person melt from the chair. Can they like stop being so cute?

I've never seen the secret-romance type story written so sweetly and fluffily. It's almost funny how no one around them is noticing that anything is going on between them - you'd think the romantic feels would be radiating through the air at this point. But at the same time, it makes sense that no one notices because it suggests that no one in Molly's family thinks that any romance between them would be possible - it's so out of the question that it's beyond their wildest imaginings. That makes me worry what would happen once they do know about this relationship. Would they assume that Oliver is taking advantage of Molly? (Though it's very clear from the reader's perspective that he's not.) I really like how, when Molly is worrying, it's not about her family or other people's opinions - she worries about herself, thinking through her attraction to this man, what it means and how it affects her. That says a lot about her personality and her independence. She stands out from the Weasleys in more ways than simply her appearance.

It's also great to see you including Roxy and Dominique in fairly prominent roles, rather than the usual set of younger cousins, and that Molly's relationship with them and her sister is positive. They're all close, but not too close - just comfortable friends and cousins who support and accept Molly, even if she is different from them. It'll be interesting to see how her relationship with them is affected by her relationship with Oliver - I think they'll continue to support her, or rather I hope that they do (it'll be most awkward with Lucy, of course - "sorry I'm dating your boss?").

There are a couple of little things: "envelope" instead of "envelop", and some of the narration that accompanies dialogue makes it less clear who's speaking. One example is with the lines “Enjoying yourself?” Molly took another sip of her drink and nodded. / “Yes. And you?” Oliver smiled, filling a glass for himself as well.. I know that Oliver asks whether she's enjoying herself, but by putting Molly's name beside it, it's less clear. Does that make sense?

This is my favourite of the two chapters because you wrote the romance so well here, including just the right details - the little things like the way he doesn't let go of her hand at the end. It's perfect. ^_^ Great work on this story! I'll be on the lookout for an update.

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Review #8, by Violet Gryfindor I.

2nd February 2014:
That ending! *flails* It's definitely squee-worthy, though it's a slightly guilty-pleasure squee because of the pairing. I don't know why, but May-December romances are strangely interesting to read, perhaps because they have that extra difficulty to them, giving the characters something to constantly struggle against (particularly because of the way that society views those pairings). Somehow you make it seem so natural between Molly and Oliver, as though time was just waiting for them to meet - they just click in a moment of mutual attraction.

And the attraction makes sense because, although they're in very different fields, they seem to have similar personalities, or at least similar perspectives on the world. Both are driven by work to the extent that they prefer to avoid social situations, yet one-on-one, they're fine. But even in their speech, they tend toward short explanations, always to the point, not wasting words or the time spent speaking them. Interestingly enough, they also share an appreciation of aesthetically pleasing things, be it the view from his office window or each other's appearance. They do seem to fascinate one another in an endearing way. ^_^

The only thing I can think to critique is that, toward the end of the chapter, it would help to have additional narration to enhance the dialogue. I'd love to see more of Molly's reaction to the fact that Oliver is the same age as her father, even shared a dormitory with him. And how does Oliver react to learning that she's Percy's daughter? It'd be great to see more facial reactions and more details there to give more insight to the characters' thoughts and emotions.

Off to the next chapter! I'm really interested in seeing where you take this story. It's fantastic to see you back writing again! :D

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Review #9, by milominderbinder II.

2nd February 2014:
Hiya! Maia here from the modern romance challenge :D

Ooh this has really captivated me! I didn't stop to review the first chapter separately because I didn't want to stop reading!

This is such an interesting pairing. I never would have thought of this, and it's incredibly interesting that you did. I love Oliver Wood and I love Molly - in pretty much all their incarnations, though especially here! They seem to really fit well together.

You really paint an amazing picture of the beginning of their relationship. I could feel every tingle of excitement that Molly did, those flirtatious butterflies that always crop up at the beginning of a new romance. I love how easily they seemed to fall into it; just a short conversation before they were leaving that first party together, because they both already felt the connection, and they seemed to converse effortlessly, and Oliver kissed her even after he found out who she was. I loved his reaction to finding that out, too, the way he found it kinda funny and regretful, and then decided it didn't matter after all.

Your writing style is lovely and clean, and perfect for the story. It's not too flowery and doesn't get in the way of the story, and gives just enough information to keep you both captivated and intrigued.

Random note but Flaunt is a great name for a wizarding restaurant!

I love how they both instinctively knew to keep it a secret. Not only does that kinda show their connection more, but the secrecy adds to the thrilling feel of the whole story. The tiny secret touches, the tangling of their fingers together while nobody's looking - that smallest hint of risk is what makes this so captivating, and really had me on the edge of my seat!

I can't wait to see where you go with this. Please message me on the forums when you next update!! And thanks so much for entering my challenge :D

~Maia

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Review #10, by Carlie II.

1st February 2014:
You updated really quickly!
Although not much happened throughout, the end picked up. I still really enjoyed it! I really can't wait to read about Molly and Oliver's dinner. Although I hope you make it a bit longer than these chapters;)

Author's Response: Thank you :)

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Review #11, by Carlie I.

1st February 2014:
This is a brilliant first chapter! It's very original - which is a good thing, there only so many similar stories you cam read - and yes, very unconventional. Your writing flows well, it's just a little rushed. I would have loved to have a read a longer conversation between Molly and Oliver. But still, brilliantly written and I was intrigued from the very beginning. I read this chapter pretty much the moment it was validated, but didn't review so I'm on to chapter two now:)

Author's Response: Thank you :)


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Review #12, by Lostmyheart I.

30th January 2014:
Hi there!

What an interessant story!
I've never read a story with the pair but I seriously like what you did with them.
It's quite refreshing to finally read about a Weasley without the flaming red hair :)
It is a little weird that he's at the same age as her father and yet seems single and childless, when you describe him as a good lookin' fella(!) - women, what is wrong with you?! Haha

I'm pretty excited to see where you'll go with this plot.
Love this chapter and good luck with the challenge!

Lostmyheart

Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, Oliver has never been married and has no kids. But he's crazy about Quidditch! Which is why. He's been married to his job :)


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Review #13, by Anon I.

30th January 2014:
Gah! I love it! Thank goodnes you are making this into a short story, if it ended with this chapter I might have died! Update soon please!

Author's Response: Haha thank you! My focus is totally on this story right now so the next chapter should be up soon. :)

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