Reading Reviews for Game Over
  
99 Reviews Found

Review #1, by BellaLestrange87 Four

19th May 2015:
Hello! I'm back again!

This was a very surprising chapter. I definitely wasn't expecting anything that happened in this chapter - you completely surprised me there, so kudos to you. I thought that Matt - the real one - had shown up, not somebody pretending to be Harry Potter.

I'm really looking forward to finding out who this person is. I feel that it's going to be somebody James knows, and at the same time I'm glad - very glad - that it's not Harry who's dying. At the end of the day, he deserves better than to be accidentally be killed by his own son.

This "Silent Thief": how did James get the name? Also, how did Dann automatically know that James was James, and not Albus? Unless something happened to Albus - say, he died before this story - Harry has more than one son.

This was another excellent chapter, and I can't wait to find out what the final two have in store!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yay for surprises! I think the reason that the surprises worked so well was that I had no idea where my muse was going with this until after I wrote it. I guess if I surprise myself, I have a better chance of surprising the readers. :)

Yeah, I was very glad that it wasn't Harry dying either. Because, that would be bad. It's no fun to kill off Harry in any story. Especially by his own son.

Oh, so many questions! I didn't get to them all, but I did get to some. I hope you keep reading and tell me if the ending was satisfying enough for you.

Thanks again for coming back to this story!

Pix


 Report Review

Review #2, by BellaLestrange87 Three

3rd May 2015:
I'm back for another chapter!

I wonder why Dann decided to help James and didn't simply give him his wand back. I know that she wants to find out more about Matt, but I feel like she could've just given him the wand back and let him do all the dirty work by himself. Now, if anything happens (which it did) she'll be implicated too.

Now that James knows he's stealing from wizards I want to know who sent him there to steal the Basilisk Tooth. Also, why wizards would put a Basilik Tooth in a muggle museum. They obviously knew that it was magical, and that it would be protected. I want to know, also, who James is stealing from.

And now Matt is back! This is getting more and more interesting the further I get. Why is he just coming back now? Was he the one who set James up? Is he the one James is stealing from? I feel like the next chapter will reveal a lot of this, as well as Matt's relationship - platonic or not - with Dann, and where he disappeared to.

This was (another) really good chapter!

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi again!

Yes, why did Dann decide to help James? Hmm... I'm sure I wrote that on purpose, but it was last year, so... brain fuzzy.

So many questions! So little time! I hope I wrote a convincing enough ending for this, so maybe some of your questions will be quelled by the end.

And yes, there he is, the man of the hour! Matt, himself... or is it??

Thanks for another lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #3, by BellaLestrange87 Two

1st May 2015:
I'm back for another chapter!

I really enjoyed getting into the perspective of the woman and finding out what she's thinking. I'm really enjoying trying to guess what's happened to Matt, and why Dann is so concerned about him. It sounds like he'd been kidnapped or abducted after going rogue (going rogue from what? Just like last chapter I have all these questions.) and Dann is really concerned about him.

Speaking of Dann, she sounds a bit like she's in love with Matt, or otherwise really close to him, because she nearly broke down crying when thinking about whether he'd been murdered. I think it's a bit more complicated than that, judging by her initial reaction last chapter, but I'm not sure.

I think that James' ease in taking her wand shows a lot. The organization that he's doing this for is probably criminalistic in nature, because I don't think that most normal wizards would be able to disarm Dann that easily. From the beginning of the chapter she sounds like a skilled witch. Not many people would be able to recognize the signs that someone had taken Polyjuice Potion. (Just think how different things could have gone if Dumbledore had recognize Barty Crouch in GoF!) And the fact that she said she forgot to react adds to that. She could very easily just have been too slow to block him.

You have a wonderful ending here. What exactly is a Basilisk tooth doing in a Muggle museum? I can sort of see the natural history part (archaeology, maybe? Is that natural history?) but why would Muggles be going anywhere near basilisk remains? I also want to know what 'this' that James is referring to is.

This was another amazing chapter! It was just as good as the first one. I can't find anything to offer constructive criticism on, and I'm still amazed at how you've managed to write 6 chapters that are exactly 500 words each.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hello again!

These sure are short chapters, aren't they? :)

Yes, Dann and Matt knew each other very well, obviously. I hope you keep reading to find out what's really going on. Though, the later chapters felt a bit rushed, since my plot kept expanding and the word count hindered things that I wanted to do with this. Such is a challenge, I guess.

I hate writing incompetent characters. If they are in my story, I want them to be good at what they do, right? I also wanted to show that neither of these characters are dummies, and that they can be clever and they pay attention to what's going on around them. That's crucial, especially in the business they find themselves in.

And yeah, what is a Basilisk tooth doing in a museum??

Hey, thanks for another surprise review! I'm glad you're enjoying the story.

Pix


 Report Review

Review #4, by BellaLestrange87 One

30th April 2015:
Hello!

I really enjoyed this chapter. I love the idea behind this story, of James working for some sort of shadowy organization that I don't really know much about (but want to).

You've left a lot of questions unanswered and if I wasn't writing this review I would be devouring the rest of the story, because I want to know more. How did James ending up working for this organization? Who did he anger that stole everything? Why did he get set up on this job? Who is this Matt that he's impersonating? I. Must. Know.

I wonder why the woman shouted "Riddikulus" at James when she first thought he was Matt. Did she think he was her Boggart? Is she afraid of Matt? Unless Riddikulus has another use, her initial reaction is inconsistent with how she lowers her wand and asks if it's really him. Of course, I could be completely missing something here and you could read this review and think "No, stupid," but I'm curious.

I hate cliffhangers, but this is such a good one I have no choice but to like it. I really can't wait to find out what's going to happen to James, as well as know a little more about his past.

This was an excellent chapter! You've got such a wonderful scenario set up here (and in only 500 words! I write and get off topic and my rambling is 500 words. Or pointless chatter that serves nothing.) and I can't wait to submit this review to read on.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Hi! What an unexpected surprise, and welcome to my crazy story!

The thing about a limited word count is that if you want anything to happen at all, you have to just jump right into the action. Yes, it raises questions, but hopefully it does that in a good way.

This was written for a Five Elements Challenge, where we were given five things that had to be included in the story. One of those things was using an assigned spell at least three times in the story. I think that was the biggest challenge for me, because how do you use "Riddikulus" in a story three times without it seeming... ridiculous?? So I made it a major plot point and rand with it. I hope it works for you. :P

Thanks so much for the surprise review!


 Report Review

Review #5, by GingeredTea Three

11th October 2014:
Ahh, this is such suspenseful story! I love it! Whose this Matt bloke? Why do wizards have the tooth in a muggle place? Why, why why!

This is fabulously written and perfectly executed. YoYour cliffhangers are devious! The flow was brilliant and kept me on my toes!

Author's Response:

Yay for suspense!!

Look at all the questions! Makes me feel like I did something right. :P

Thanks for the incredibly flattering review! I hope you keep reading.


 Report Review

Review #6, by Penelope Inkwell Six

1st October 2014:
Suddenly, all his rushed essay experience from school seemed like it had been preparing him for this moment. James could pull a report out of thin air if he had to. Bahaha! I know the feeling. Genuine life skills, right there.

So, Dann and James will be partners, hmm? That's a nice wrap-up.

And I'm still so impressed that you managed to do all this in chapters that were exactly 500 words. That's so cool!

Well done, and congrats on your Dobby nomination! Good luck!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi! You made it to the end!

I'm glad you liked the ending. This was a crazy experiment, but I learned a bunch from it. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and also coming to read my story!

Pix


 Report Review

Review #7, by Penelope Inkwell Five

1st October 2014:
Okay, I'm a little confused.

Chapter 5 is showing up in place of Chapter 6, and vice versa. After reading them, I'm assuming it's not meant to be like that?

And Matt is her brother? Or he was helping her look for her brother? And he was cheating Muggles? What exactly was their job?

What I have got is that she tried to kill him, so now he's turned on her.

Hmmm. Good move, James!

--Penny

Author's Response: Hey, I thought I had responded to this a few days ago. Guess not.

Thanks for the catch! I never would have noticed that the chapters were switched without you! It's fixed now.

Ahh, in a story as short as this, I had to let some of the details go. The format was fun, but not without its inherent challenges.

Your presumptions are correct, though. I guess on some level, it was clear enough.

Thanks for another review!!

Pix


 Report Review

Review #8, by Penelope Inkwell Four

1st October 2014:
"Red meant dead, his father had drilled into him."
--I love this, because it seems like just the kind of thing you'd memorize in Auror training.

And woah, woah, woah. Boggart. Okay. I was sort of doubting that it was the real Harry, but you kept it going for long enough that, for just a second, you had me.

And the clue was already there, since Dann had shouted "Riddikulus" the first time she saw James/"Matt".

Very cleverly done.

--Penny

Author's Response:
Yeah, Boggart. This was originally written for the Five Elements Challenge, where I had to use the Riddikulus spell three times. How can you do that without a Boggart?? Had to be there.

Thanks for another sweet review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by Penelope Inkwell Three

1st October 2014:
Woah! Did not see that coming. Who is this guy? Has this "Matt" gone rogue, in truth?

So, James does steal professionally? But usually only from Muggles who have unknowingly stumbled across magical artifacts? Now that is a very interesting premise.

Also, I love how James' "great heist" reminds me of Flynn Rider stealing the royal crown in Tangled ; )

Just with more magic, and fewer evil twin accomplices.

Although evil twins are still involved!

--Penny

Author's Response: Oh, hi! You're still here. How wonderful!

Hahaha! Flynn Rider! That's great. I don't know about twins, but evil look-a-likes, maybe.

Yay! It's another review!


 Report Review

Review #10, by Penelope Inkwell Two

1st October 2014:
Ooooh. Intriguing. A basilisk tooth, huh? At the Natural History Museum? I love that.

Is James meant to be a professional thief, then? Hmmm. Curious.

Now, to find out who this Matt person is...

--Penny

Author's Response: Yes, basilisk tooth. Someone dared me to put a dinosaur in my story, and I love a challenge, so that's how it came about.

Yeah, you could say he's a professional... something. LOL! Matt was pretty tricky. Even I didn't know who he was for several chapters.

Thanks for another review!


 Report Review

Review #11, by Penelope Inkwell One

1st October 2014:
What a great beginning!

Wow, how did you fit all that into 500 words, and so elegantly. Word limits are my greatest enemy. And you're doing this for each chapter? I'm so impressed!

And also curious. Who did break into James' flat? What game is it he's playing?

--Penny

Author's Response: Hi!

I don't know how it all fit into 500 words. I guess I just sat on it until it smushed together or something. It was a great exercise. I highly recommend word count limits. It makes you choose wisely. :)

Thanks for the review!


 Report Review

Review #12, by GingeredTea Two

27th September 2014:
God, what a way to introduce us!

""Is there anything left of him besides his hair, or a fingernail, or..." she stifled a sob."

Loved that line, and then the dawning realization that it is Polyjuice and this 'Matt' character must be alive somewhere. I love her description of the single-use bathroom. Perfect!

Ahh, you're killing me with this angst (you've gotten good at this, man!).

" "is the perfect person to steal the Basilisk Tooth from that case out there, because maybe that's the only chance either of us have of getting out of this alive.""

Ooooh, this is a terrible terrible place to leave a chapter!

This was brilliantly done, perfectly laid out, and terribly horribly mean - the cliffhanger, I mean. ;)

Author's Response: Me? Good at angst?? I'm allergic to that stuff. (Sniffle sniffle sneeze)

I've gotten a few comments on the single-use bathroom, which kind of surprised me. At the time, I was trying to come up with a clever location that would scream "museum", and this is what my muse decided was the spot. It worked great for the scene.

The great thing about such short chapters is tha tit was easy to contain all the details. Nothing got lost in my head, because there weren't gobs of words getting in the way. In some ways, it made the layout easier too.

Thanks for another review!


 Report Review

Review #13, by GingeredTea One

27th September 2014:
Oh, this is very interesting! It has the taste of a good muggle spy/thriller/detective book/show but with the added bonus of the HP world we all love. How exciting!

So Harry's son has found himself an interesting job...doing what, exactly? He's obviously pretending to be 'Matt' but doesn't really do it very well.

Is he stealing bones?

Ugh, lots of questions! I'll be right back...popping over to the next chapter. :)

Author's Response: Hi!

Welcome to my shortest chaptered story ever. Lol! This was great fun to write, even with all of its challenges. This first chapter left a lot of questions for me too. I'm glad you are enjoying the spy vibe, which was also incredibly fun!

Thanks for the review!

Pix


 Report Review

Review #14, by navyfail Two

15th August 2014:
So he was trying to steal a Basilisk Tooth and Matt is the woman's partner. Interesting...

Author's Response: Yes, that's about it. Things didn't turn out to be exactly as they seemed. I hope you keep reading.

Thanks for the review!

Pix


 Report Review

Review #15, by navyfail One

15th August 2014:
Hi! Congrats on getting Story of the Week back in May. I'm going back and reviewing all the stories and I thought I would stop by yours.

500 words exactly in every chapter? That's an accomplishment! I don't think I would be able to do that.

The plot has already started which is great. I wonder what exactly is James' job. Something illegal probably but I wonder what. And what was the last job he did that got someone angry at him?

The story is fast paced due to the word limit but I think it fits well since it has action and action is always better done fast.

I love the small details and descriptions you managed to add in like the "coffee was black as a burnt-out cauldron" and "must, with a hint of shellfish". It kept the the story from turning out too vague.

The woman is a witch? I wonder how she knows Matt. What's she going to do with James now?

You've managed to keep me questioning on what happens next. :) Lovely idea and lovely start to a story! I'm going to keep on reading.

~Sama

Author's Response: Hi!

Thanks for checking out my story! And congratulations to you for attempting to review all the stories! I'm glad you stopped by!

I thought that the 500 word challenge looked interesting, but my plots seem to always run away with me, so it was definitely a challenge. I encourage you to try it some time, just for the experience. You may surprise yourself!

I was slightly worried about the vagueness, but as I wrote, the details kept slipping in. I'm glad that worked for you.

Thanks for the review, and I'm happy it got you intrigued!

Pix


 Report Review

Review #16, by maskedmuggle Six

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

Ah, I see! That was such a dramatic ending but a nice one too. I feel like this story is definitely one that you've got to really think about whilst you're reading it :P That's a good thing though - these stories are definitely a rarity but it's always such a nice challenge to have to figure out what's happening while you're reading it. I really liked how Dann and James were both able to impulsively work together to end in a situation that put them in a really good light. At times with this I felt like I really needed/wanted to know more information about things and more detail in some parts.. but given the whole idea of this short story was to have 500 word chapters, I think you did an amazing job with that. I feel like this short story could easily have been a very long chaptered fic, but to compress it down to 6 so very short chapters is such an achievement in itself and one that's a testament to your amazing writing skills. I definitely really enjoyed reading this story a lot, your storyline was such a wonderful rollercoaster!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hey! It's the end!

The story wasn't meant to have back story to it. Part of the challenge was to give the reader enough to understand the present plot, without explaining anything. It was hard. I might have slipped in a few places, but overall, I think it came out okay. It might be fun to try this format again one day.

I'm so happy you enjoyed reading it, and thanks again for all your lovely reviews!

Go Gryffindor!!


 Report Review

Review #17, by maskedmuggle Five

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

Ooh, it's starting to come together and make more sense. When I'm reading this story it feels like I'm starting off with a big jigsaw puzzle, and gradually with each chapter I'm able to fill in the big picture a little more! Once again, I'm so impressed by just how unexpected and unpredictable your plot is - who would've guessed that the crate would be a portkey taking them to someplace else! I see that another Matt has entered through the door and I'm so curious as to whether this is the real Matt.. I think it is.. I'm so glad he was able to shed some more light about Dann's involvement in this story. I love how with every chapter you leave me hanging on, wondering what's going to happen next. I'm so excited to see how this story is going to resolve itself in the final chapter, given that so many things seem like they need resolving and you only have 500 words to do so! I'm especially waiting to see what happens when Matt opens the crate - if he even does open the crate.. Amazing writing!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: I did have trouble resolving everything. I might have let the plot run away too much with the word constraint, but hey, it's a learning experience. :)

I'm glad you're enjoying reading the story. That's the important part. And thanks so much for another review! I love hearing your thoughts!


 Report Review

Review #18, by maskedmuggle Four

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

What another exciting chapter to read! I thought you did such a fantastic job writing this chapter - the descriptions were really great, I could really visualise all of this happening in my head. I really liked how James could see that Dann wasn't doing anything to protect herself, so stepped in to help her. The boggart was pretty unexpected, so it was cool including that in! I thought it was really believable that James' boggart would be killing his own father and his father judging him. I especially enjoyed reading the ending few lines because it presented another hint of James' profession - mentioning 'the Silent Thief'. I really liked the way they were both able to figure out that it was a boggart and defeated it together. The plot that you've had throughout the chapters of your story so far is really so interesting and unpredictable, and that's what I'm really loving about your story!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Yay for unexpected boggarts!!


I try really hard to make my twists take the story in a different direction. Otherwise, we'd all know how the story ends already, and that wouldn't be any fun. :P I guess some people enjoy reading predictable stories, but I don't, and I don't like writing predictable stories either. I'm glad I succeeded in surprising you again.

Thanks for another review!


 Report Review

Review #19, by maskedmuggle Three

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

Wow I'm almost slightly annoyed at you for leaving me continually with more and more questions :P (In a very good way of course). This was yet another utterly engaging chapter and again, I cannot wait to read on, honestly. I thought the description of what they were doing here helped me to understand a bit more about what James' mission was. I thought the idea of a Traceable Charm on objects was great - so believable I feel like it definitely should exist. I loved how unexpected this ending was, with Matt appearing! (Or perhaps even another person pretending to be Matt..?) I really don't know :P James seems to be in quite the predicament right now... excellent writing in this chapter once again though.

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi again!

More questions! I'm glad the description of what they were doing helped you understand the mission better. I love keeping James in hot water. It keeps things interesting.

Thanks for coming back!


 Report Review

Review #20, by maskedmuggle Two

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

And the plot thickens! So I now know a bit more information about the situation but there's still so much I don't know! It makes me just want to keep reading instantly which is great for you because it means your story is really captivating! The main thing I want to know right now (as James does too, it appears) is who Matt is. I'm also super curious as to who "They" are - I'm guessing it's James' boss or something? "They" sound incredibly intimidating and dominant though.. Your idea of writing a short story with 500 word chapters each is actually so brilliant and unique - it's definitely a very different reading experience because you can only say so much in 500 words and hence leave the reader to ponder over things more frequently. I thought you did a great job writing this - the dialogue especially.

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Dialogue wasn't so hard to write, ut I did have to make sure that all the words had a purpose. Ha! I remember when 500 words seemed like so many. But in a story, it's juat getting started.

Thanks for another lovely review!


 Report Review

Review #21, by maskedmuggle One

12th July 2014:
Hey!

Wow this is so interesting! I'm so curious as to what exactly this is all about and to find out more information about James' situation! This was definitely a great opening chapter in that I'm absolutely hooked. I was already completely engaged from the opening line - so great simile/comparison there! There's no way I can't not continue reading on to find out more! Already I can tell this is a really unique story with a really interesting plot line! I really want to know exactly what profession James is in and who Matt is, and who the woman is! Gah, so many questions :P I loved how much you were able to tell us in 500 words, but also how much you didn't tell us so that we have to keep reading to find out! Anyway, I definitely thought this was really well written, and I'm definitely rushing on straight to chapter 2 to perhaps find some answers to all my questions! :D

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hi!

First chapters are generally supposed to pose some questions and lead readers into the story. I am glad it worked for you and you are eager to read on. Thanks for giving this story a chance.

See you in the next chapter!


 Report Review

Review #22, by UnluckyStar57 Six

12th July 2014:
Awesome! So it all comes around in the end. :)

Ugh, a dead boggart must be a REALLY bad thing if it makes fully-grown, fully-trained Aurors shudder in fear.

Ooh, Dann and James are keeping secrets! Matt is now the "Secret Thief," and he can't do anything about it because he's stuck in a crate with the boggart. And James gets to turn to the side of the law and respectable citizenry. :)

I kind of want a sequel now! Dann and James, partners who fight crime. It could be pretty interesting!

And again, I am really amazed that you were able to pull this whole thing off in just 3000 words. There was so much in this that I didn't feel the need for extensive backstory or nonsense like that. This was the bare essentials, and you really captured the scenes perfectly!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: I imagine that a dead boggart is pretty darn bad. And yes, secrets.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review all of these chapters! It was fun to write, and great to read all of your thoughts!

Go House Cup!!


 Report Review

Review #23, by UnluckyStar57 Five

12th July 2014:
Ooooh, so Matt is Danni's brother! And a bad guy, to boot! Her boggart was him because she is AFRAID of him, not because she doesn't want him to die. D:

That's very tricky of Matt, to trick James and Danni into walking right into his trap. Luckily, James has a few tricks of his own! I wonder what a dead boggart will do to someone. I didn't even know that boggarts could die, but I'm sure that whatever it does, it won't be pretty.

Ooh, one more chapter! You do such a great job of moving the plot along in only 500 words. It's like a real novel in a condensed version. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Anyone in James' position has got to have some tricks. I didn't know if boggarts could die, but it makes sense that if they're alive, they might.

Thanks for another review!


 Report Review

Review #24, by UnluckyStar57 Four

12th July 2014:
...Holy cow. I didn't see that coming!! And then I didn't see that other thing coming, either!

You hit me with a double-whammy in this chapter. Harry Potter=the mysterious Matt? But then, Harry Potter=the mysterious Matt=boggart?!?! What a conundrum! There's so much confusion that I don't even know what to do!

So James is a bad guy, but he doesn't want to be. His biggest fear is letting his father down, and stabbing a basilisk fang into his heart is definitely a good way to let him down... But there is hope! I hope that James can turn his life around after he gets out of this pickle. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Surprise?

hehe. Yes, all of that. At least I got across the points I wanted to. There is always hope.


 Report Review

Review #25, by UnluckyStar57 Three

12th July 2014:
So someone stole the basilisk tooth, and James' job is to get it back. But the problem is, he isn't just dealing with Muggles ignorant of magic. He's dealing with wizards. That could pose a few problems!

Ooh, it looks like Matt is a bad guy or something... I'm probably wrong, but maybe... Maybe he put the Traceable Charm on the tooth because he knew that someone was going to steal it! And the group of super secret agents that James works for somehow knows that Matt is part of the opposing group...

Just a theory. Probably wrong. Reading on! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: YES!

You've got some good theories. Let's see how it works out...


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>