Reading Reviews for Game Over
  
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Review #1, by maskedmuggle Chapter 6

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

Ah, I see! That was such a dramatic ending but a nice one too. I feel like this story is definitely one that you've got to really think about whilst you're reading it :P That's a good thing though - these stories are definitely a rarity but it's always such a nice challenge to have to figure out what's happening while you're reading it. I really liked how Dann and James were both able to impulsively work together to end in a situation that put them in a really good light. At times with this I felt like I really needed/wanted to know more information about things and more detail in some parts.. but given the whole idea of this short story was to have 500 word chapters, I think you did an amazing job with that. I feel like this short story could easily have been a very long chaptered fic, but to compress it down to 6 so very short chapters is such an achievement in itself and one that's a testament to your amazing writing skills. I definitely really enjoyed reading this story a lot, your storyline was such a wonderful rollercoaster!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
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Review #2, by maskedmuggle Chapter 5

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

Ooh, it's starting to come together and make more sense. When I'm reading this story it feels like I'm starting off with a big jigsaw puzzle, and gradually with each chapter I'm able to fill in the big picture a little more! Once again, I'm so impressed by just how unexpected and unpredictable your plot is - who would've guessed that the crate would be a portkey taking them to someplace else! I see that another Matt has entered through the door and I'm so curious as to whether this is the real Matt.. I think it is.. I'm so glad he was able to shed some more light about Dann's involvement in this story. I love how with every chapter you leave me hanging on, wondering what's going to happen next. I'm so excited to see how this story is going to resolve itself in the final chapter, given that so many things seem like they need resolving and you only have 500 words to do so! I'm especially waiting to see what happens when Matt opens the crate - if he even does open the crate.. Amazing writing!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
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Review #3, by maskedmuggle Four

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

What another exciting chapter to read! I thought you did such a fantastic job writing this chapter - the descriptions were really great, I could really visualise all of this happening in my head. I really liked how James could see that Dann wasn't doing anything to protect herself, so stepped in to help her. The boggart was pretty unexpected, so it was cool including that in! I thought it was really believable that James' boggart would be killing his own father and his father judging him. I especially enjoyed reading the ending few lines because it presented another hint of James' profession - mentioning 'the Silent Thief'. I really liked the way they were both able to figure out that it was a boggart and defeated it together. The plot that you've had throughout the chapters of your story so far is really so interesting and unpredictable, and that's what I'm really loving about your story!

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
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Review #4, by maskedmuggle Three

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

Wow I'm almost slightly annoyed at you for leaving me continually with more and more questions :P (In a very good way of course). This was yet another utterly engaging chapter and again, I cannot wait to read on, honestly. I thought the description of what they were doing here helped me to understand a bit more about what James' mission was. I thought the idea of a Traceable Charm on objects was great - so believable I feel like it definitely should exist. I loved how unexpected this ending was, with Matt appearing! (Or perhaps even another person pretending to be Matt..?) I really don't know :P James seems to be in quite the predicament right now... excellent writing in this chapter once again though.

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
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Review #5, by maskedmuggle Two

12th July 2014:
Hey again!

And the plot thickens! So I now know a bit more information about the situation but there's still so much I don't know! It makes me just want to keep reading instantly which is great for you because it means your story is really captivating! The main thing I want to know right now (as James does too, it appears) is who Matt is. I'm also super curious as to who "They" are - I'm guessing it's James' boss or something? "They" sound incredibly intimidating and dominant though.. Your idea of writing a short story with 500 word chapters each is actually so brilliant and unique - it's definitely a very different reading experience because you can only say so much in 500 words and hence leave the reader to ponder over things more frequently. I thought you did a great job writing this - the dialogue especially.

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
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Review #6, by maskedmuggle One

12th July 2014:
Hey!

Wow this is so interesting! I'm so curious as to what exactly this is all about and to find out more information about James' situation! This was definitely a great opening chapter in that I'm absolutely hooked. I was already completely engaged from the opening line - so great simile/comparison there! There's no way I can't not continue reading on to find out more! Already I can tell this is a really unique story with a really interesting plot line! I really want to know exactly what profession James is in and who Matt is, and who the woman is! Gah, so many questions :P I loved how much you were able to tell us in 500 words, but also how much you didn't tell us so that we have to keep reading to find out! Anyway, I definitely thought this was really well written, and I'm definitely rushing on straight to chapter 2 to perhaps find some answers to all my questions! :D

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
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Review #7, by UnluckyStar57 Chapter 6

12th July 2014:
Awesome! So it all comes around in the end. :)

Ugh, a dead boggart must be a REALLY bad thing if it makes fully-grown, fully-trained Aurors shudder in fear.

Ooh, Dann and James are keeping secrets! Matt is now the "Secret Thief," and he can't do anything about it because he's stuck in a crate with the boggart. And James gets to turn to the side of the law and respectable citizenry. :)

I kind of want a sequel now! Dann and James, partners who fight crime. It could be pretty interesting!

And again, I am really amazed that you were able to pull this whole thing off in just 3000 words. There was so much in this that I didn't feel the need for extensive backstory or nonsense like that. This was the bare essentials, and you really captured the scenes perfectly!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #8, by UnluckyStar57 Chapter 5

12th July 2014:
Ooooh, so Matt is Danni's brother! And a bad guy, to boot! Her boggart was him because she is AFRAID of him, not because she doesn't want him to die. D:

That's very tricky of Matt, to trick James and Danni into walking right into his trap. Luckily, James has a few tricks of his own! I wonder what a dead boggart will do to someone. I didn't even know that boggarts could die, but I'm sure that whatever it does, it won't be pretty.

Ooh, one more chapter! You do such a great job of moving the plot along in only 500 words. It's like a real novel in a condensed version. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 Four

12th July 2014:
...Holy cow. I didn't see that coming!! And then I didn't see that other thing coming, either!

You hit me with a double-whammy in this chapter. Harry Potter=the mysterious Matt? But then, Harry Potter=the mysterious Matt=boggart?!?! What a conundrum! There's so much confusion that I don't even know what to do!

So James is a bad guy, but he doesn't want to be. His biggest fear is letting his father down, and stabbing a basilisk fang into his heart is definitely a good way to let him down... But there is hope! I hope that James can turn his life around after he gets out of this pickle. :)

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #10, by UnluckyStar57 Three

12th July 2014:
So someone stole the basilisk tooth, and James' job is to get it back. But the problem is, he isn't just dealing with Muggles ignorant of magic. He's dealing with wizards. That could pose a few problems!

Ooh, it looks like Matt is a bad guy or something... I'm probably wrong, but maybe... Maybe he put the Traceable Charm on the tooth because he knew that someone was going to steal it! And the group of super secret agents that James works for somehow knows that Matt is part of the opposing group...

Just a theory. Probably wrong. Reading on! :D

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #11, by UnluckyStar57 Two

12th July 2014:
The only thing I could think for most of this chapter was, "Ugh, clams." I get too caught up in the little details. :P Polyjuice Potion makes your breath smell like clams? Ugh, remind me to never take it!

The plot thickens even further as Dann questions James! Who is Matt to her? Her boyfriend? Her husband? Why does she think that he is dead? Is he a spy, too?

It seems a strange coincidence that fake Matt and a woman who knows the real Matt should be in the same place at the same time. Very suspicious...

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #12, by UnluckyStar57 One

12th July 2014:
Whoa! A mystery/spy story for the Every Word Counts Challenge! This is really cool, and you had to be super nifty with your words because you only had 500 for each chapter. :) I think that your use of language moves the story along very well, and I can already see the plot thickening as the previously unassuming woman ambushes James. But why has his life boiled down to taking pills to create a disguise? What is he doing at the Museum of Natural History?

I'm very curious to read the rest of the story!

House Cup 2014 Review

~UnluckyStar57

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Review #13, by Pretense Of Perfection Chapter 6

10th July 2014:
Okay, so I must've missed something somewhere, because from this chapter it seems like Dann and Matt are not brother and sister. i'm really dense sometimes, and I'm definitely going to have to reread this in the very near future. I'm still a bit confused about Matt's motivations behind all of this, but that's okay since it's a mystery, and I'm sure once I give it a reread I'll get it (I hope, lol). I really loved the ending to this, I think it was absolutely perfect. I won't lie, i totally feared it might end with something ridiculous between Dann and James, like them kissing, which I can definitely see happening down the road, but not now of course. I like how James starts to believe in himself more, and have better hopes for his future, even though it seems like he and Dann aren't going to change all of their ways, I still think it was a great ending. I loved how Harry seemed so proud of James, esepcially considering that it's pretty apparent James never thought his father thought much of him. And please please tell me, what's the deal with the dead boggart? I don't recall reading anything in canon about one, and I'm DYING to know what it's all about!!

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

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Review #14, by Pretense Of Perfection Chapter 5

10th July 2014:
Wow, the pace is moving along so fast, I'm having trouble keeping up. That's definitely not a bad thing though, especially given the nature of the story. I'm burning to know what James ends up deciding to do, but, given what we know about him, I think he'll end up doing the right thing in the end. I'm having a bit of trouble understanding Matt's motivations behind all of this, though. I'm probably just being dense, but it seems like him and his sister were stealing things together, so what made him change his mind and go on his own? I literally can't imagine killing your own sister, and either something terrible must've happened to Matt, or he is a truly despicable person. I'm also curious about this amulet and the significance that it holds. I'm so glad that James told Matt that it's in the crate, and I can't wait to see how that plays out in the next chapter. I really just hope Matt falls for it, and that James and Dann end up getting a happy ending. Even though they aren't you're typical good guy type characters, I still think they both seem like good people overall.

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

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Review #15, by Pretense Of Perfection Four

10th July 2014:
Ah, it's a boggart! That makes sense now. I definitely had to read this over again because I didn't quite get it the first time, which is a true testament to your ability as a mystery writer. I think James and Dann were perfectly in character, and it makes so much sense that the boggart would turn into Matt, and the Harry. I have to admit though, I'm relieved that James didn't kill Harry, because I think that would've been terrible for him. But now that that part of the mystery is solved, I'm still dying to know who is pulling all the strings behind this operation. I definitely just noticed that each chapter you've written is for the every word counts challenge, and I'm in complete amazement. I don't think I have the skill or the patience for that. It really adds to the quality of the story, and makes me love it even more, if that's possible. My only CC is that I'm not sure anyone would be able to just throw a basilisk fang and have it penetrate someone's heart/chest, that would take a tremendous amount of force. But again, it's definitely not a huge deal.

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

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Review #16, by Pretense Of Perfection Three

10th July 2014:
Ahh, and the mystery and intrigue continues! i literally cannot get enough of this story. My only CC for this chapter is that Dann seemed convinced pretty easily, which I think might be sort of out of character for her. I know you were writing with a strict word limit here, but perhaps another chapter might've helped..then again, I'm torn, because I know it's a mystery so I'm not sure.. regardless I love this story, and I'm going to favorite it. I thought it was hilarious how Dann changed outfits to distract the security guard and help James, it fits perfectly with the theme of the story overall. I'm dying to know who James is working for. I totally understand wanting relics of the wizarding world to stay in the wizarding world, but it seems like someone is going to a lot of trouble for a very powerful dark object, I totally spell trouble in the future with this basilisk fang. And Matt! We finally get to meet the elusive Matt! Yay! i'm so curious to know why this magical object is different, and what wizard they are stealing it from, and why. So many questions!

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

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Review #17, by Pretense Of Perfection Two

10th July 2014:
This chapter clears up so many of the questions I had from the previous one, but creates so many more as well, ahh!! I really like how you did something different with the characters, I really like Dann and James so much, they're quite unique. It's refreshing to read about someone that isn't an auror or a healer, and I love the master thief kinda thing. At first I wasn't sure about Dann sticking her wand up James' nose, but when I went back and reread it I literally laughed out loud. I think you managed to capture James' apprehension and confusion wonderfully. And Dann's worry and anxiety over her partner's disappearance really come to life in her words, tone, and actions. The plot is super interesting so far, and I literally cannot wait to read more. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, you must have a great beta. The pacing is executed with absolute perfection, I like how quick and to the point the story is so far.

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

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Review #18, by Pretense Of Perfection One

10th July 2014:
I typically shy away from next-gen, but reading this really makes me rethink that. i think you did a wonderful job capturing the characters, especially James, and showing them exactly as I've always pictured them. I was super confused at certain points, but since this is a mystery I imagine it's supposed to feel that way. You really managed to draw me in, I can't wait to read the next chapter and find out who this woman is and who Matt is. I'm sort of curious about James' job, at first I thought he was an auror, but now I'm thinking maybe hit wizard? Gahhh, the suspense is killing me! I loved the beginning, the part in the dinner with his black coffee really sets the scene of the story. The pacing was perfect, I found myself eager to read more. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, so great job there!

--house cup 2014 review--
gryffindor

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Review #19, by randomwriter Chapter 6

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello, one final time. This story has been such a pleasure to read, and I can't believe it's over. You've managed to develop your plot so well in just 3000 words. You should be very proud of yourself. So much happens and I love how you have delivered all that action is short bursts. You keep the reader guessing and you manage to hold their interest throughout, even though the plot can get a bit confusing :p

I LOVE the ending. The plot twist, and of course, James would leave scot-free. There's no way, he's getting caught, right? :p So from what I gather, James really is the Silent Thief, and poor(?) Matt got framed? James and Dann are now going to partner up and become some sort of unbeatable duo :p I'd love to see a sequel.

As much as I loved this story, another chapter would perhaps make things clearer. This makes sense, but there are still some questions that could use some elaboration. But maybe that's just me because I read this in different sittings.

All in all, this story is great and I love it :) Great writing! There's a reason I favourited it :p

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Review #20, by randomwriter Chapter 5

9th July 2014:
House Cup 2014 Review

Hello Pix! I somehow missed reviewing the last two chapters. I don't know how! Forgive me. Luckily, I've come back, thanks to the House Cup!

This was another exciting chapter. I still can't get over how all your chapters are only 500 words long. And somehow, in those 500 words, you manage to put in so much information and bring in plot twists, even . Nothing is straightforward and I'm just as confused as ever. I can't see how you've going to finish this in another chapter. In my mind, there are so many loose ends and so many unanswered questions, I can't wait to see what sorcery you employ to tie it altogether in just one more chapter. I can't shake off the feeling that it's no where near complete!

I'm even more confused with this chapter. What happened? Is Matt Dann's brother?! Was James seen? It's in the crate. what will James do?!?! Ahh.Will rwad on, one last time!

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Review #21, by jessicalorewrites Chapter 6

9th July 2014:
Hello again on this story for the last time :(

What a fantastic ending to the fic. It's helped calm and clear my mind a little, at least. I'm still mighty confused about a hell of a lot of things but perhaps that is because I have read this so quickly. However I would suggest maybe editing this - or just a note for future stories - that you could make the plot a little clearer for the slower people like me. No doubt some people understood, I'm just not always quick on the uptake with things :P

It was a really cute ending though, having Dann and James pair up. And I'm really glad this is the end of James' thieving ways. I think he'd make a great security guard! He'd know exactly what to look for in other thieves.

All in all, a really interesting fic that kept me guessing right to the end (and some after). Congrats on keeping to the word count!!

xo

{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

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Review #22, by jessicalorewrites Chapter 5

9th July 2014:
Hey!

I'm really having a hard time coming to terms with the fact these chapters are only 500 words long. Like, how is it possible that you manage to include so much in such a short amount of space? I think it's impossible. I'm calling WITCHCRAFT. I'm still impossibly confused, though I don't think I should be this close to the end. Oh well! My brain hurts from thinking about this fic too much because every single second I come up with a new incoherent theory that barely makes any sense but, for those few seconds, feel like it explains it all. Alas, the actual writing in this is as beautifully constructed as ever, and the plot no less interesting.

I'm still having trouble working out whether Matt is Dann's brother or not. It seems plausible but also not at the same time. Whoever he is, I can't believe he would stoop low enough to kill her and frame James for the murder and theft -- all of which HE orchestrated. This seems weird most of all because why would he give James his own face? What if James had been spotted? Then they would've all been looking for Matt instead of James!!

I need to go on and read the next chapter so I'm ending this here. Great story!!

xo

{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

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Review #23, by Veritaserum27 Chapter 6

9th July 2014:
Aaaah! Great ending. Of course James couldn't go straight. That would be too easy and so unlike James Sirius Potter. I guess even Harry's pride in James finally being an upstanding member of society isn't enough to pull him away from his deviant ways. The draw of another partner - and a clever, attractive one at that, is just too much for him. A dead boggart, huh? I never knew that they were so incredibly dangerous. I'm trying to reconcile this with myself, but I guess that "James Potter - Security Guard" just doesn't have the appropriate ring. Great job with this. I am really, really impressed that you managed this with such a few words. It was a fantastic story. Thanks for the great read!

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Review #24, by jessicalorewrites Four

9th July 2014:
CAN I JUST SCREAM FOR A MINUTE BECAUSE I THINK I NEED TO.

Okay, phew, we're okay. Coherent (hopefully) review from here on.

This chapter was the best yet. For a while I really did think it was Matt and then I really did think it was Harry and then I really did believe James had just accidentally stabbed his father. But it was a boggart and now I FINALLY understand why Dann cast that in chapter 2 when she saw James. I find it kind of concerning that her worst fear is her partner though... odd. There is definitely more to this story still.

Another thing I don't quite understand is why James is stealing for other people if he has the title of 'the silent thief'. I don't know, just to me that implies he's working alone since it's thief not thieves.

Maybe all will be explained in chapters to come! :D

xo

{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

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Review #25, by Veritaserum27 Chapter 5

9th July 2014:
Oooo - James is so clever. So. Now that I think I'v caught up. James is a big-time thief. Danni and Matt are also thieves and something happened to Danni's brother - Matt caused it. He disappeared and Danni's been searching for him every since. Someone set up James so that Danni would kill him, but the plot went foul. I love this story. There are boggarts and portkeys and baslisk fangs - oh my! I wonder who is in the outside of the room - perhaps Harry to save the day? I really can't even guess as to what is going to happen next - I must read on. Great job with this - I wish there were more five hundred word chapters on the archives. It is fun to get through an entire story in one sitting!

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