Reading Reviews for The Flesh of the Servant
  
19 Reviews Found

Review #1, by 800 words of heaven Coward

27th May 2014:
Heya! I'm (finally) here for the Slytherin review swap!

I was going to read a chapter of Everto (I'm woefully slow at reading that story - it's absolutely terrible of me), but then I saw this one, and you cannot believe the happiness it gives me. SIRIUS IS ALIVE!

I liked your characterisation of Peter. I kept on thinking "OMG, he's such a Slytherin. How on earth did he end up in Gryffindor?" Maybe you need a special sort of bravery to betray your friends - that takes guts, in a really twisted, sort of way.

I also loved how you highlighted just how much of the story would not have happened if Peter Pettigrew had not escaped that night, and find his master. Voldemort is really nothing without his followers, especially Peter. That would also mean that the story would have ended as a trilogy :P

Oddly, this piece had me pondering the fine line between coincidence and fate. Obviously, for the purpose of plot progression, Peter had to escape that night, so you could argue that it was fate. But the way you've written this piece highlights that a lot of it was just coincidence. Harry's stunning spell actually hit Peter, and he was doomed. Who would've thought?

Awesome story! Please write another, where Sirius is alive and well (I'll try and contain my inner Sirius fangirl, I promise)!

Author's Response: Hey there!

^.^ Hooray, Sirius is alive!

While in Everto I catered more to Peter's Gryffindor side, his character development turned out slightly different in this (if only to fit the needs of the story). Betraying your friends kind of does take some strange, sordid sort of bravery, doesn't it?

I spent a great deal of time going back through (from the end of PoA until DH) and rereading what Peter's escape had influenced, I kept coming up disappointed (other than, you know, bringing back Voldemort). It seems that he really didn't have much of an influence on, well, anything else really...so I wanted to play that up as much as I could.

Since Peter is the one who could speak to rats, receiving the information about the shadow of Voldemort's whereabouts, I really played up the idea that maybe Voldemort didn't come back. Of course, that caused some controversy amongst reviewers (about other means of Voldemorts return) ^.^.

Thanks for the lovely review! Sirius being alive and happy seems to be the main focus of many of the reviews -- and I definitely can't blame anybody for that! (Fangirls aren't meant to be contained!)

-Rumpel


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Review #2, by teh tarik Coward

2nd May 2014:
Holy crap, Rumpel!

This was absolutely brilliant. I LOVED this. One of the most frustrating moments for me in the entire HP series was that bit in PoA, when Sirius suggests the possibility of Harry going to live with him, and I was all YES, YES, YES. And even though JKR stole that away from us readers with the conclusion of PoA and Peter's escape, I still kept hoping that there the chance for this to happen still existed. Then of course, Sirius died. :(

Your story's a brilliant what-if AU. It's the kind of thing I love to read, and yours was just wonderful.

Peter's character was done superbly; you covered his 'normal' moments and his more despicable ones and you did it without fuss or drama - it was just perfect. And I especially like your prose: it's sparse in some parts, but then in others we get such amazingly specific details that really jolt the whole scene to life, e.g. I loved the whole assault of owls on Peter's house, and the neighbour complaining about the new plant in town disrupting bird migratory patterns.

Having a change in POV somewhere in the middle was great, because that really focused on the warmth and love that Harry received with Sirius as his legal guardian. And all the other small details of canon being altered thanks to the different course of events. I LOVE that Cedric was the sole winner of the tournament! And that Sirius got to see the Quidditch World Cup. And I'm guessing that there are hints of Remus/Sirius there as well? Lovely subtle touch there, Rumpel!

I really enjoyed reading this. I think it's a brilliant what-if story and boy, am I wishing that JKR chose this course of action! (There are a million other ways to resurrect Voldemort, c'mon). :P

Great work.

-teh

Author's Response: Okay, I'm finally responding to my reviews!

She really didn't make Harry's life (nor any of the readers' lives) easy during the series, did she? I was quite upset when that magical moment, anticipating Harry being able to live with Sirius, was torn away from us. Then Sirius died :(.

I was pretty excited when I got this prompt, because I do love the what if-AU scenarios.

Peter was one of my favorite project characters, I'd been writing a Marauders-era novel and didn't want to exclude him. Developing his character in that greatly helped, as I already knew what kind of person that I wanted him to be. The owls were just for fun :).

There was so much that I could do with this, and wanted to do, but was limited on time for the challenge. I would really like to expand this a little someday.

Then, of course, the ending was a very happy one. Instead of finding alternative routes for Voldemort, I just let it sit (which caused a bit of controversy), but I wanted a happy ending.

Thanks SO much for the lovely review!

-Rumpel


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Review #3, by Lostmyheart Coward

7th April 2014:
Hi!

It was a little hard to choose which one of your stories, because they all looked so interesting! So I chose this one to begin with. I really want to read the rest, when I get the time to :)

This story was so well-written that I loved reading it.
I liked that it started with Peter's life and his parents. The scene with his mother and his father was brilliant, how she complained and he just laughed like that. Gold!

As lovely as this story is, it made me sad. We all know that Sirius dies, so this story was so hopeful and hurtful at the same time! How much easier Harry's life would have been to live with his Godfather and not with the Durlsey's.

To be honest, I think we all want Peter's life to end that way. And thank you for writing it!

Big hug,
Avi

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks so much! I had fun writing this. The original version was multi-chaptered, but wasn't heading in the right direction. Unfortunately, there was only a few days left until the deadline, which means that this turned out much shorter than I would of liked.

I've been told that, despite it's happy ending, this story is quite sad due to the reality.

Thanks so much, we'll have to swap again sometime!

-Rumpel


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Review #4, by HEG Coward

29th March 2014:
Hello to you!

I really enjoyed reading this. It's what I think SHOULD have happened in the Prisoner of Azkaban. Peter was guilty so he should deserve to go to Azkaban like all the other criminals. Fair isn't it? I alwAys thought it was mean that Sirius never did anything but he got punished and no one believed HIm. I also liked your way of description. It was so real, that it felt sort of like I was a ghost in A p
Pensive. Haha, I liked the part where they had several nights just to try out different flavours of ice cream. I didn't really get the bit where Cedric Diggory suddenly arrived holding the Triwizard cup. That was probably just me though.*smiles* such a good end to the story. The last sentence made you think that that really could have happened. I always think why did Harry let Peter Pettigrew away? Well done anyway, I really loved to read this :D
HEG

Author's Response: Hey there!

Thanks so much! I had fun writing this. The original version was multi-chaptered, but wasn't heading in the right direction. Unfortunately, there was only a few days left until the deadline, which means that this turned out much shorter than I would of liked.

I was excited that the prompt required that I write Peter being caught in PoA (it made my day)!

Thanks so much for the swap, and the lovely review!

-Rumpel


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Review #5, by Lululuna Coward

26th March 2014:
Hello! :)

This is so cool! I really love how in just a small amount of words you've shown how one little decision, one little moment, can so thoroughly change people's lives. And the result just made me so thrilled and full of feels for Harry and Sirius! ♥

You did a really good job of paraphrasing the events of Peter's life without the need to repeat the events of the books. Peter's character and his special kind of cowardice is very interesting - how he gets by on being petty and sneaky. I loved those lines as well and the implications between them - how something happened to his cousin, how the cat never came back.

(minor thing, I noticed the first sentence was missing a period).

The sun had felt like warm bathwater on his skin when he had stepped out onto the street the other day. I loved this passage and the description of Sirius' freedom - it was truly lovely. Feeling the sun as a free man read almost like a second Baptism in a way (I read a lot of Renaissance lit okay? :P). And how the three of them formed a little family and got to spend the summers together, and tease each other, and how Harry looked forward to the summers for the first time in his life... so lovely! :D

Haha, one of my favourite things about AU is seeing how seemingly unrelated events turned out, like Cedric winning the Triwizard cup after all. It's so interesting how a tiny event like Peter escaping triggered so many deaths and so much horror, and how now Voldy will never return. I wonder if he would have eventually found a way and another servant, or if he would just wander the earth forever and ever?

The last line was great, and I liked how creepy it was in bringing the story full circle and back to canon. But... Peter may have lost his soul, but at least he got to keep his hand! :P

This was a great read, I really enjoyed it! :D

Author's Response: Hello! It's taking me forever to catch up with all of my responses -- sorry!

The original version of this was multi-chaptered, but it wasn't working out. So, when I decided to redo it, it was only a few days left until the deadline. I would have liked to expand on this, because there are so many avenues that I can explore (and expand on) -- and I hope to eventually.

I'm glad that you liked Peter's background; I've been having fun playing around with Peter since I started using him in Everto. Oops, sneaking periods.

The scene with Sirius in the sunlight was one of my favorite parts to write. Sirius, Remus, and Harry are areas that I've especially wanted to expand on! Maybe I'll do some more once Everto is completed.

There were many avenues to explore concerning Voldemort and his possible return. I left it as he would wander the earth as a shadow of himself, for happy ending purposes.

Thanks so much!

-Rumpel




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Review #6, by nott theodore Coward

13th March 2014:
Hello! I'm here reviewing for the Blackout Bingo!

Strangely enough, I haven't read many stories that focus on these 'what if...?' moments, but I really enjoyed reading this one. Although I've come to terms with how the books did end, and all (most) of the things that happened in them, but this reminded me of all the things I wanted to change in the books at the time. It's crazy to think how much would have been different if only they'd managed to stop Peter, and I loved the fact that you showed the full extent of that in this story.

Calling Peter a special kind of coward really made sense to me here and I think it was effective too. It was interesting to see his early life, one that's never really focused on much in stories, but the fact that he was already doing small things and letting other people take the blame for them kind of gives an indication of what's to come. Of course, plenty of children do that sort of thing but I think with Peter it was different - you showed his need for protection and your characterisation was great.

I was so happy all the way through the second half of this, reading about Harry getting to stay with Sirius and them doing things together with Remus - because there's no risk of Voldemort coming back with nobody to help him. And that changes so much in Harry's life, meaning Sirius is free and they can live without fear. And then the Triwizard Tournament, too, when Cedric won! I couldn't help smiling all the way through, and it was great to see Peter get what he deserved at the end.

Sian :)

Blackout Bingo review 2/20

Author's Response: Hello! I've been terrible at responding to my reviews lately!

I think that there's quite a few people that weren't all that satisfied with accepting how the books ended, and some what-ifs are very fun to play with. I wish I had a bit more time to expand on this, as the scenes are short. The first version of this was multi-chaptered, but wasn't turning out how I wanted. When I started over, there was only a few days left until the challenge deadline, so I admit it was rushed.

I'm happy that you enjoyed Peter's characterization, he's a fun character to play with.

The ending was a happy alternative to what had happened, and I chose to pick some of the sadder moments that directly effected Harry and spin those into happier ones. I'm really glad you enjoyed that. I only wish it was longer!

Thanks so much!

-Rumpel


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Review #7, by MissesWeasley123 Coward

7th March 2014:
Hey, back for more of your wonderful stories!

So. I remember this challenge and i was really looking forward to reading the entries, but I never really got time but I saw you entered and ran over to read it, because you got one of the "what if"s I had asked myself so many times while rereading POA.

There were so many things you took into account. Sirius was alive! Gah. How things would've changed. His death's was one of the one's that hit me the hardest, along with Fred's of course. I think him being alive in this was so gut wrenching and emotional, I had to stop for a moment and just breathe. This story was a wonderful depiction of the life Harry could've had with Sirius. Remus would've been so happy, and... AGH. *cries in corner*

I never really considered the whole, Cedric winning the cup but it makes sense. It really does. And even Harry once said how he'd love to be cheering in the crowd, with no worries... Honestly this piece just gives me so many feels.

You used what you were given for the challenge brilliantly, and I thought you did an excellent job! There was so much to this piece, both happiness and ultimately sadness also. As an author, you did an excellent job playing with words and emotions, and this truly was great story telling.

Thanks for an excellent piece!

Blackout 7/15

Author's Response: Hello!

I was so excited when I got the prompt, unfortunately, the multi-chaptered version of this wasn't working out, so it was erased and a started over. Unfortunately, that left me only a couple of days before the deadline to write and enter the story :(. There's so much more I wanted to do with this but...

Sirius' death was one of the hardest for me too! Which is why, of course, he's in here, alive and free :D. This was one of the parts I wanted to extend, Harry's new life with Sirius and Remus.

Thanks so much :D!

Rumpel


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Review #8, by anythingcouldhappen Coward

7th March 2014:
Hi! Reviewing this for Blackout Bingo!

I love what-if stories. They always make me think of the infinite possibilities, and the world too! Its amazing that if just one tiny thing changed, the whole world can be changed! *ok squee time over*

It's heartbreaking to see what might have been, if only they had been able to stop Peter that night! I mean sure, perhaps Voldemort might have eventually made his way back in some other way, but Harry would have had a much happier childhood! Sirius wouldn't have died in the way he did! It makes me so mad/sad to think about it!

You did an awesome job imagining the what-if, as well as describing Peter. I liked the way you began and ended the story with "Peter was a special sort of coward". It was a nice touch.

The one thing I had trouble believing is that they would just go ahead and administer the dementor's kiss as soon as Peter was caught. They would probably have a lot of questions for him and Sirius before they were ready to do that. Maybe you could have the conversation be about how Peter will get the kiss if it turns out he was guilty? Just a suggestion :)

Great job!

Sam

Author's Response: Hey there!

I also love what-ifs...as well as AUs.

This is a happy story, though, other than helping Voldemort return, Peter was a rather unimportant character up until his death thereafter.

Because I erased the original version of this, I was left with only a couple days to get this finished by the deadline for the challenge, so it was a little rushed. Sorry for anything that could have been extended!

-Rumpel


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Review #9, by TidalDragon Coward

6th March 2014:
Howdy!

I really liked how you started the story with some background on Peter. It was interesting too how you used situations many children have encountered at some point (or at least something similar) to demonstrate the early manifestations of his cowardice, which seemed already at 5 and 9 to be escalating.

For me, after that point it got a bit rushed. I totally get fast-forwarding to the point where things go AU after revealing Peter's blood status (which was also a nice touch), but once things got AU, I would have liked to get a little more detail in the snapshots you provided - especially re: Harry and Sirius and Sirius and Lupin.

I also do wonder whether Dumbledore would have really let Sirius take Harry over the summer what with him still needing the blood protection from the Dursleys, but it was a fitting possible take-off from Sirius's offer before everything went awry in PoA.

Thanks for sharing!

Author's Response: Hey there!

I'm glad that you liked the background information on Peter, I'd been playing around with his characterization for a while, so it was nice to write it. Many children do result in being afraid when they're confronted with situations like this, I suppose Peter just never grew out of that.

It did become rushed. I had written a version that was actually multi-chaptered, but it wasn't working for me. So I ended up erasing everything a couple days before the deadline of the story challenge. That left me only a couple of days to complete the story for the challenge.

Virtually every one of the "snapshots" were meant to be individual chapters that were just cut down into basic ideas to make the deadline. I do hope that someday in the future I'll be able to extend this story, to make it more complete.

Thanks!

-Rumpel


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Review #10, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Coward

2nd March 2014:
Hi there!

I'm here for the review battle!

So this was a really interesting beginning. I liked some of the origins you gave Peter... the vase, the not knowing he was a wizard and becoming friends with James, Sirius and Remus. This then took us into familiar territory until he is hit with Harry's stunner before escaping! I must say that whole first section really built the suspense well for the next part of the story - great job!

Oh reading the second parts though... it's so sad that it doesn't actually happen! The description you used when Sirius was free, oh it was just lovely with him standing in the sun. You did a great job of that so well done!

And Harry! He's so happy with Sirius. You do realise you're breaking my heart with all these what ifs. What I really really love though is that you included Cedric! He lives and gets the glory he really deserves. I'm so happy you added that in there, it made the story that little bit more special!

I honestly really enjoyed this so much! Peter's characterisation of a coward is an interesting one, and works really well in this. I didn't notice any typos or anything either so great job on that!

Lauren :)

Review 2 of 10

Author's Response: Hey there!

I was excited when I received the prompt for this challenge, because I'd been playing around with Peter's character, and what my head-canon was for young Peter. It gave me a chance to explore his childhood some more.

I'm sorry for breaking your heart! But this version does come with a happy ending :D (which is not something that I always do)!

Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed this!

-Rumpel


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Review #11, by AngelEyez3954 Coward

10th February 2014:
Hello! First off, let me thank you for entering my challenge.

This is a really great story, and I love how you portray Peter. This is a very realistic outcome of Peter not escaping. I particularly loved the scene where Harry is able to sit back and watch the last challenge of the Twiwizard Tournament, as well as being able to spend the summer with Sirius and attending the World Cup with him.

Again, great job! I hope to have the results posted this evening.

Author's Response: Hello! Thank you for making it, this was fun.

Thanks, I love playing around with Peter. When I got him for the challenge, I was all kinds of excited.

There was definitely more I could do with this, and more directions I could have taken, but I'm glad you liked it :D.

-Rumpel


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Review #12, by Iellwen Coward

4th February 2014:
Review swap!!!

Wow, well deserved justice!!!

I love that you added Pettigrew's childhood, to point out just how much of a coward he is and that you repeated that he's a special kind of coward, to let it sink in!

I love that Harry stunned Peter!! It's such an obvious solution!! And would have, indeed, taken care of many things and spared loads of lives! o_O

Harry gets to spend his summers with his godfather (&Remus) and normal years at school!!
Does that mean he did not have his romance with Cho? (Since Cedric lived and won) That the real Mad-eye Moody taught at Hogwarts (did he turn Draco into a ferret like the fake one did?^^)
And that Remus did not get together with Tonks? No Teddy?

It kind of feels unresolved, with Voldermort still roaming around as a shadow of himself - does that mean his Horcruxes aren't discovered by Dumbledore? That could mean Riddle could still come back, if only later...!
Aaaah! So many scenarios!! ^^

Wow, that was a real nice read - thank you so much for writing it :D

Author's Response: Sometimes it just takes me forever to respond to reviews! (Sorry!)

Wherever I begin a chapter seems to outline the remainder of the chapter, no matter how I've planned it. His childhood was a fun area to explore!

Heh, I reread that scene several times in PoA before writing this, attempting to figure out how things could have gone differently. Instead of being stunned, like watching a train wreck happen, I decided that somebody (Harry) should take action, instead.

There are a ton of occurrences that *could* have happened. I've been playing with ideas that could happen if I were to turn the one-shot into a short story.

It does, but the one-shot couldn't justify an actual solution to Voldemort. Since Peter, being a rat animagus, couldn't speak to the rats to hear the stories of the shadow in the Albanian forest, though *somebody* might have figured it out. My best guess would be that Bellatrix would eventually figure that one out, after the series of Azkaban escapes and whatnot, and seek to find him.

Thanks for the swap! :D


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Review #13, by adluvshp Coward

4th February 2014:
Hey! Here for review tag!

This was a very interesting piece. I loved it! I think it was a great take on how things would have turned out if Peter had not escaped that night. Your writing style was also smooth and nice to read. I liked your characterisation of Peter being a "special kind of coward". The ending was fitting too.

All in all, a great piece, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. It brought a smile to my face to see how things would have turned out in an AU with Harry staying with Sirius and spending his holidays happily with him and Remus. It was all very sweet.

Good job!
Cheers,
AD
(AditiDraco95)

Author's Response: Hello!

I had some fun with this. While writing my novel, I had come up with several theories on Pettigrew, so I was able to use some to my advantage while writing this!

Thanks so much!

-Rumpel


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Review #14, by LilyLou Coward

30th January 2014:
Hey! Here for our review swap!

This was so cool! I tried to do this challenge, but it seemed so impossible to me. You succeeded! Well done! I never once thought about what would happen if Pettigrew we're caught. You answered that question in a totally agreeable way. It made complete sense, if you ask me!

Well done!

-Janelle

Author's Response: Hello!

I've spent a bit of time trying to figure Peter Pettigrew out, and came up with a lot of theories. When I got this topic, I was super excited to explore it more! :D

Thanks so much!

-Rumpel


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Review #15, by toomanycurls Coward

28th January 2014:
*fanfare* make way for Rose

...that doesn't flow as well as Prince Ali. Oh well.

I am amazed at the the way you went through Peter's life. I loved that his mum was a muggle and got a bit freaked out by the owls. He had always seemed close to him mom and I like that you showed that. It's fitting that Peter would think of his betrayal as a passive event - it happened to him rather than him being the actor.

Seeing Sirius as free and him best friends with Remus just broke my heart. Why can't that be reality??! This gave me incredible feels. WHY CAN'T THAT BE REAL?

I guess having Cedric live and Harry not be in the Triwizard cup is nice enough but I'm still distracted by Sirius being alive and happy and not miserable. :D

You did a lovely job on this!! It gave me a case of the what-ifs.

-Rose

Author's Response: *fanfare* ;) It doesn't flow as well, but I'll pretend it does.

In other news: OH, YOU CAME TO CHECK OUT MY ONE-SHOT! Hai!

:D I'm glad you liked Peter's background. It was a bit of a different perspective on him then what I chose to go with in Everto, but it worked for me in this.

Sirius! I'm sorry :(, but you can pretend it's real for a couple seconds, right?

Heh, Sirius is a nice distraction :D.

Aw, what-ifs are okay though :D. Don't be sad!

Thanks for your awesomeness!

-Rumpel


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Review #16, by marauderfan Coward

26th January 2014:
Review swap! I've always thought Peter is such an interesting character. I really don't like him, but he's an important character in the series, as is his cowardice - it makes him an interesting person to write. And his escape caused so much to happen, so its a really interesting story idea to see what could have happened if all had gone according to plan that day.

I liked seeing the snippets of Peter's life and how he always wanted people to look out for him and, above all, to not get caught doing things he shouldnt. It was a great attention to detail as, in this story at least, he does eventually get caught!

Aah yay Sirius is free! This is so wonderful only a little sad to read because its like what he should have had but couldn't :( Anyway, that part where you were describing him standing there with his hair flying about in the wind and enjoying freedom totally put me to mind of that scene in the Shawshank Redemption, only in the sun rather than rain as it was in the movie haha. But I digress.

Its all so happy! Harry had a normal year, Cedric won and survived the triwizard tournament, Peter didnt bring back Voldemort. Ah, I wish! This was lovely. So wonderful and happy with a touch of sadness because it didnt play out that way. Well done, and thanks for the swap! Good luck in the challenge!

Author's Response: Whoo, swap!

I don't think that Peter is meant to be liked, really ;). Between Everto and this, Peter has become one of my favorite characters to write, and I have no idea why.

Sirius is free! Shawshank Redemption, I'll have to put that on my "to do" list as well :D.

It's a happy AU ending :D. Thanks so much!

-Rumpel


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Review #17, by kenpo Coward

26th January 2014:
Yes! New one-shot!

I'll get back to Everto when I have a little more concentration. I can't read it on an empty... brain? I need to be alert to read Everto. I'm not alert very much.

So I'm here! Yes! New one-shot!

That's such a cool opening line. It's so true, too. He really is a special sort of coward. It almost takes bravery to be as cowardly as he is.

Those examples are so good. I love the description of the vase, and how you didn't directly say what the consequences were, but you still alluded to them and it was awesome.

I LOVE your use of the word "unflappable" because it makes sense in context, but also flap, bird, HARHARHAR.

His Dad didn't tell his wife that he was a wizard? That seems a little messed up.

Oooo, I like that he thinks of his friends not only as friends but protectors. He's that insecure. Very interesting.

I like the way that you've structured this. When he was five, when he was nine, when he was eleven, when he was twenty.

What more suitable a creature than a rat for a man like Peter?

So true.

ooOOoOooo POV change I'M INTRIGUED.

Whatever she was going to say was lost as Fudge and Snape entered the room.
Don't know why, but I really love this line.

Friend. I love Sirius.
AWWW I WANNA SEE HARRY COME STAY WITH HIM. CAN YOU WRITE THAT? PRETTY PLEASE?!

AWWW I LOVED THIS. THIS WAS FANTASTIC.

Okay, I'm gonna stop writing in all caps because that's hard to read, but really this should be in all caps.

I think the last moment, at the Tournament, it was a fantastic choice.
I want this life for them so badly... ugh now I'm having feels because this is what could've been...

And I love how you ended it. You very clearly said what happened. Which I think is nice.

I'm getting ramble-y, but I just can't say enough how much I wish this was how their lives turned out. My only complaint is that there isn't more of this. It's such a tease. I want to read more of this glorious AU.

Ugh. The feels. I love Sirius.

...thanks for the swap... I'm gonna go cry because this isn't real. Well, none of this is real. But it's real enough. I'm rambling and it doesn't even relate to your story. You've given me the feels and this story was fantastic.

-kenpo

Author's Response: kenpo!! Hai!

;) That's okay, Everto isn't going anywhere (or at least I hope it's not).

The vase :D. I think the vase and the sunlight might be my only actual descriptions in this :D. I tend to leave out deeper detail in everything I write, but I can't seem to help myself ;).

Heheh, the exact thoughts popped into my head when I used the word unflappable :D.

I'd like to think that some wizards and witches leave that information out for a while. I think my best justification to this is Seamus Finnigan when he said, "I'm half and half. Me dad's a Muggle; Mam's a witch. Bit of a nasty shock for him when he found out." --I am completely unsure of how long it took for him to find out, but, er, that's my only justification so I'm going to stick with it! ;)

Peter having the other Marauders around as a form of protection is one of my many "how the hey does Peter fit into that group" theories. Whoo! I'm glad that you like the structure.

POV change! Thanks, hooray for a good line!

Sirius! :D I was thinking that, sometime in the future, I might add a chapter to this involving the summer after where this ends -- of Sirius, Remus, and Harry and fun, fluffy things :D.

Oh feels :(. I got a case of the feels when I started writing Sirius happy in the sun *sniffles*.

I love Sirius, too!

Don't cry! Think happy thoughts! Thanks dear!

-Rumpel


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Review #18, by Red_headed_juliet Coward

26th January 2014:
Hello! I did this challenge too! +]

Ok, so normally I don't like Peter. I'm shallow like that, but I do like this piece. It's refreshing to get some back story on him. I like how mischievous and manipulative you made him, even as a child his main goal was to not get caught, not get into trouble. I also like how he thought of James and Sirius as big friends who could protect him, which isn't really what friendship is about.

It was also nice to think about Sirius sitting in the sun, and he and Remus keeping each other company. +] Yay for happiness! It seems like such a small detail at first, but really you're right. Voldemore would've never hatched his master plan, never gotten out of the forrest, Cedric would've lived... It's a nice fairy tale ending. Lol (My "what if" story did not have such a nice ending. +[ I went more with equivalent exchange.) But this was nicely done!

Until next time Rumple! RHJ

Author's Response: Hello!

It's okay, I don't think Peter's character is meant to be liked! I'm glad that you liked this, though. The friendship between Peter and the three other Marauders remains a mystery to me, but I've played with some theories ;). No, having friendship for protection is not really friendship.

Of course, I couldn't resist the "free Sirius Black" aspect of this what if! I wish I dove a little further into this section, because it was definitely one of the happiest! My fairytale ending! :D Heh, some of the best stories don't have happy endings!

Thanks so much!

-Rumpel


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Review #19, by LittleLionGirl Coward

25th January 2014:
Hello! Here for our swap! I'd have to agree it was quite short. When I saw over 1000 words I was like "Oh my-" but I was lost in an amazing story! This was really how the story should have went in my opinion. Sirius was my favorite and I think Cedric winning the cup alone would have been better than another unwanted "victory" for Harry. My only advise would be to dig into the story just a touch more? I mean it is amazing but some of it sounds just like a summary- and it almost doesn't match the truly AMAZING story you have going for you! Maybe even some diolouge would help? I dunno- just a thought. Great job though Rumplestiltskin!

XOXOXOXOXO,
LLG

Author's Response: Hey there!

The story was originally meant to be a short story, but many things happened which persuaded me against that. One being, that the general plot of the story changed. I would like to maybe expand on it a bit though, I think maybe a scene from the summer (or a series of scenes) with Harry, Remus, and Sirius would be a nice touch.

Thanks!!

-Rumpel


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