Reading Reviews for last embrace.
8 Reviews Found

Review #1, by celadon 1

5th February 2014:
Hi again! Here with my second review!

This was a much more emotional, serious story than the one I just reviewed, which just goes to show how versatile a writer you are. Kudos to writing in second person as well! *Bows down* teach me your skills!

I like the whole concept of 'not judging a book by it's cover' which is what this story seemed to be all about. Lucy was considered the perfect daughter with everything going for her. Yet sometimes even the brightest people have the darkest cores. I really hope that Lucy gets better.

Depression is something that a lot of people face, especially children. It's nice that Lucy has someone like Molly who wants to help her get through it. Most people react in a way similar to that of Lucy's parents. They shocked, angry and embarrassed. It takes a sibling or a friend or an understanding parent to really see the situation from the victim's side and be of some help to them.

This to was a lovely written one-shot. In so few words, you've managed to convey so much with respect to the sisters' relationship, their individual personalities and real life problems. Really awesome job!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much for this absolutely incredible review! It really means a lot to me!

Lo :)

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Review #2, by Erised 1

2nd February 2014:
Second review tag here!

I really enjoyed this piece. First off the second person writing is really interesting and makes the reader feel personally responsible in a way for what happened to Lucy if that makes sense. It makes the reader feel much more involved with the story and is a great way to make them really engage with the sensitive issues that your story deals with.

I thought you touched on some really interesting topics with this story too. I don't have a sister but I can only imagine the rivalry between sisters that happens and the feeling inferior to one another. I thought you brought that across really well here with the characters. I also think this brings up issues of society's idea of perfection and feeling that looks are all that matters. A bit deep here I know but I think it's relevant!

I loved the descriptive style of the piece and the way that you handled the actual self-harm. It was elegantly handled. The bond between the sisters was also lovely to read as well.

I really enjoyed this, great work!

Author's Response: Hi!

Thank you so much for this amazing review. I'm really glad you enjoyed this because it is very personal to me.

Thank you for the incredible review, again.
Lo :)

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Review #3, by MissesWeasley123 1

2nd February 2014:
Hey Lo!
(geddit, hello, hey lo okay okay i'll stop)

And this story has crushed ALL the feels. So like, I write a lot of this stuff because I don't know, I just do. And... I get reviews where they say it's "so heartbreaking" and "I'm crying why." and I never understand because gee guys, it's not that sad :P BUT THIS. This is sad and plain depressing because of everything? Yeah, because of everything.

Because Molly's broken. She's a sister and it hurts. This scenario is so close to my heart, because I've been through this, except it wasn't the same stuff, and it's always tough to be the youngest like Lucy and to be in so much pain, and then you think no one cares, but when they find out, oh yes, they DO care and then you feel like crap for hurting your family. And Molly cared for Lucy, because she never knew that stuff like this was happening. She never knew! Molly was sure everything was perfect, and in fact -- she herself was jealous of Lucy. But then she found out this was happening and it must've crushed her, and made her feel very guilty as well.

And Lucy.. well Lucy isn't too young at all really. Fourteen seems young, I know it does, but it's not that young, really. Young is 11 or 12. 14 though, I wish it were young but we see this -- this depression thing -- happen to kids that are 14, and while it sucks, t's true. You still treated it with such maturity, and I thank you for that.

I think my heart broke when she asked her to not ask questions. That moment truly made my heart wrench because I have been through something so similar, where you just cannot answer the questions, because you don't know what to say and you're tired.

Anyway Lo, I have kind of rambled. Basically, thank you for writing this with such care and maturity, and treating it so well. You wrote it beautifully, and while it was a sad read, I loved it to death.

Nadia ♥

Author's Response: Hi Nadia!

Your review is so beautiful, I'm kind of just speechless! Thank you so much for all these wonderful things you've said, they've truly made my day (well technically night).

Lo :)

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Review #4, by Rumpelstiltskin 1

29th January 2014:
Hey dear,

First of all, I'm in love with the second-person brilliance. It is fantastic.

The mood you set upon entering the house was hauntingly suspenseful. I knew right away that something was definitely wrong. It was a frightening opening, especially knowing that somebody like Percy was reduced to shouting (a father's way of showing love and concern).

The story itself was heartrendingly distressful, but beautifully written.

Much to do on self-mutilation: Having surrounded myself with a fairly "unpopular" group in high school, I've had to deal with this in a couple friends. I understand how helpless that you can feel in the situation, unable to do or say anything right other than maybe "it's okay" and "I love you". One friend had a terrible home-life, and her self-expression came entirely through self-mutilation, and there was nothing that I could do to stop that.

In my senior year of high school...well, let's just say that was a fantastic and terrible year for me. While I was no longer the subject of extreme bullying (I have no idea what happened, something between growing into my body and being in the top of my class academically speaking and excelling at a certain sport seemed to take the bulls-eye off of my back), I was suffering from several different events (my father's death, broken friendships, pressure on colleges and what I would do with my life). Anyway, I fell to a different kind of self-mutilation (involving a friends prescription anti-depressants and incorrect dosages/ways of taking them). It was the only thing that made me feel okay, the only thing that I really could control at the time.

I remember when my mother (who was doing the shouting) and my auntie (who was doing the crying) found out, and I remember seeing my little brother watching me from the hallway. The emotions you created in this are very REAL, and extremely difficult to deal with.

You did a spectacular job on this, dear!


Author's Response: Hi Rumpel.

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing with me and thank you for leaving such a heart felt review. It means a lot to me that you enjoyed this piece and that you found it very real. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Lo :)

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Review #5, by adluvshp 1

29th January 2014:
Here for review tag.

Omg this one-shot really broke my heart. I think you wrote Lucy's elder sister's pain really well here as she saw what her sister was going through. The mood was set from the very beginning of this and the intensity had already settled in when the interaction between the sisters happened which made it all the more impacting.

I also liked the concept of the sister feeling envious towards Lucy for being the golden girl and then realising that her life wasn't as perfect as she thought - this is very realistic as many people face this. Your descriptions were smooth and engaging as well, and I really felt for poor Lucy here.

I think you did a great job writing this. The issue of self-harm was also handled sensitively.

Good job, 10/10

Author's Response: Hello!

Oh, I'm sorry for breaking your heart. Would you like some super glue to mend it? Thank you so much, I'm glad you liked Molly. I'm also really glad you liked how it started, since I was having a little bit of trouble with that part.

Yeah, I tried to integrate the jealous/envious sister complex into this story because I know firsthand that those who seem perfect can actually have the darkest secrets.

Thank you so much for everything, this review really means a lot!

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Review #6, by nott theodore 1

29th January 2014:
Hi Lo!

Wow... this was heart-breaking. I really like the characters of Lucy and Molly II and I think they're underwritten in fanfiction, but reading them like this was really moving, and I don't think I've ever seen something similar in fanfiction.

I have to applaud you for handling such a sensitive topic in a sensitive way. It's something really difficult to write about, but I know it affects lots of lives and the way you dealt with it was brilliant.

My favourite thing about this was the fact that you focused on the relationship between the sisters in this story, rather than a romantic relationship - I think that added much more power to it. You weren't afraid to explore the jealousy, either, or the tensions that arise between siblings as they're growing up, and I think that made your story feel much more real and believable. That relationship is one that makes things like this harder to deal with, but the love that's there, the bond, I think makes it more important. It's sometimes even harder for siblings to have to see something like this, I think.

Ah, Percy shouting at Lucy isn't going to make things better at all, but he clearly can't see that - he's trying to scare her into realising what she's doing because he's scared himself. It's so sad.

Lucy's just fourteen and it's really heart-breaking that she's doing something like this to cope with the things she's dealing with. She's so young, but I'm glad that you didn't use her age to make it seem insignificant. The fact that she seems to be so pretty and popular is also really important - people always think that it's only the quieter people who deal with problems like these, but sometimes it can be those who are the most popular and lively - and that's why nobody realises anything's wrong.

The second person point of view was really effective here - it helped draw me in and made the story even more moving. It was so well written and touching that it could have been about someone I knew, my sibling.

I'm so glad that Lucy was able to open up to Molly, even though she asked her not to ask questions about it. That was brave of her and I think it shows the bond between them - and hope for the future as well, because she's admitted to a problem.

That last line - so poignant. I know exactly what Molly means with that and it's a horrible thought for her to have, but I think it's brilliant that you included it. It was a really moving note to end your story on.

This was a fantastic read! Well done again on writing so beautifully about something so sensitive.

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian!

Thank you so much for this beautiful review, I really appreciate it, it's so meaningful.

Lo :)

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Review #7, by toomanycurls 1

28th January 2014:
My spidy sense tells me there will be a lot of feels in this story...

I don't think I've ever managed to capture this much sad and feels into one story. You did a beautiful job capturing Molly's (it is Molly, right?) reaction to Lucy's cutting. The shock and disbelief were very believable.

It sounded like Lucy thought Molly knew that she cut - which she didn't seem to know. I can only wonder how lost and alone she felt to do that.

I really don't know what else to say besides you handled such a sensitive topic extremely well.


Author's Response: Hi Rose!

Your spidey senses are quite accurate... Many feels...

Well thank you for the praise, it really means a lot to me. It was indeed Molly, and I'm so happy everything was believable.

Lucy tried to hide it from Molly, but to be honest, I'm in the same boat as you when you say you have no idea what could have led to her doing that.

Thank you so much Rose! Even if this wasn't the lengthiest review, it was beautiful and it meant so much. I may have had a tear in my eye at one point...

Again, thank you so much!

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Review #8, by kenpo 1

28th January 2014:
You said that this story is personal to you, so I'm really sorry for whatever it is that you're going through. Feel free to PM if you ever need to talk. I've witnessed very similar situations to this one, and I think you wrote it beautifully. This story brought tears to my eyes in less than 2000 words.

It always amazes me. We do this thing that so many people make fun of. We write fanfiction. But people don't realise that it isn't all drama and smut. We write things that matter, and this is one of those things.

This is the type of story that really matters. And I applaud you for writing it.

I'm writing a story about an Eating Disorder for the Awareness Challenge, and I'll probably reread this for guidance on writing such a sensitive topic.

I love that you explored the different ways that people react to finding out a person in their lives self-harms. Anger, remorse, confusion, guilt... it's all there.

The way that Lucy begged her sister to not ask questions was heartbreaking, but also showed a really beautiful bond between them, and emphasized Molly's unconditional love.

I really hope that once Percy and Audrey get over the initial shock, they're able to offer their daughter the same type of unconditional love and support.

Fourteen. She's so young, which is so heartbreaking. But it happens. And it is heartbreaking.

This review is disorganized; I'm just writing my thoughts as they come.

I think it was surprisingly brave for Lucy to open up to her sister. Even after her parents found out, it wouldn't surprise me if she pushed Molly away.

I'd also like to mention that I think it was a really good decision to write this in the second person. It really brings the reading into the story and made it really personal. This could be your sister, or your brother, or your friend. It could be you.

This was just... really beautiful. Heartwrenchingly so.

Author's Response: Hi kenpo!

Thank you so much for the offer, you truly are an amazing person. Your review is amazing and I don't care if it's disorganized, it means a lot to me. ♥

Lo :)

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