Reading Reviews for Evolution
  
69 Reviews Found

Review #1, by PotterCritic Table Talk

22nd July 2014:
In my opinion, the length of this chapter was perfectly fine seeing as you update every so often.
Also, can you plese Make Jatie break up and add more Jily???
Please? *puppy dog face
⭐️⭐️⭐️

Author's Response: Haha working on it. It's still a ways off though.

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Review #2, by peacock33 Table Talk

21st July 2014:
It was great to see another chapter. Interesting to see James interacting with his parents. They seem like such fun and loving people. And it was interesting to have him bring Katie home. I do have to admit that at this point in the story I am finding Katie a little annoying; I think that it's because their relationship seems just too perfect and idealized. I appreciate that you had James have strong feelings for another great girl, but I guess my bias for Lily makes me more interested in seeing that relationship start to develop rather than see anymore of the Katie/ James one.
I think you've hinted that the the long-anticipated breakup between them will be happening soon, and I personally hope that everything won't stay so perfect between them up until the last minute. All relationships no matter how well-matched would have some tension, and I think it would help with the breakup and James moving on to Lily in the near future (since they're supposed to get married shortly after graduation, I figure they have to get together relatively soon). But I'm interested to see what you will do with that and just hope that Lily doesn't have to compete with James idealized nostalgic vision of Katie since it seems like the breakup might be forced by circumstances rather than something the two choose. But after all this focus on James being so in love with Katie, it will make for an interesting and challenging development of the James/Lily plot, so I look forward to seeing what you do with that.

It's sad about Katie's relatives being killed. I wonder why as they aren't muggles, right? And I suppose this will somehow lead to her breakup with James, though not sure how it will relate yet?
Thanks for sharing and can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Re: James/Katie, you've seen her last appearance in corporeal form. As far as creating some tension between them, I considered that, but ultimately decided against it. I have wrestled throughout with how over-the-top ideal James/Katie has ultimately come across. It was my original intent to have them endure some problems (not many, but some), but frankly I ran out of time for it (maybe in future edits) and decided that the plot could still work with them having a picture-perfect relationship up until the end.

Their break-up will be soon and sudden and it will have an impact on James, but he'll come to terms with it. Will he reflect on it some? Yes. That's natural. But as I've said before, he's not a piner or a dweller, and it will not be his focus for long. The war is growing and he'll embrace that reality. He also has a lot more responsibility coming his way soon.

He's also not going to sit around and compare Katie and Lily. I'm not going to say it will NEVER happen, because I don't think that's realistic, but it will certainly not be some drawn out longing or ghost of the past that Lily has to actively fight against. It would be natural thoughts that might just come in the moment, and the way I've set things in my head, those tiny moments are going to come out in Lily's favor - NOT Katie's.

Katie's relatives (though this won't come out in the story, one refused Voldemort one too many times) being killed will definitely be the impetus for James/Katie's break-up. I may be contradicting what I said earlier, because I was wrestling with how to carry this off, but the break-up will be sudden and forced and will come as a shock to James. It won't come in the most graceful way either, but that's how it needs to be in my opinion, under the circumstances. There is a war going on and I don't imagine what happens to be different from what others would have experienced. You'll find out in a couple of chapters exactly how it happens and what I mean, but it's coming soon.

Glad you're still enjoying it and hope you continue to!


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Review #3, by RupertsPheonix Deeper

16th July 2014:
Very interesting. I liked a little insight into both Severus and Peter. Looking forward to the next chapter too!
--Kate/RP

Author's Response: Glad you liked the extra insight. There will certainly be more on them in the future of the story. As for the next chapter, it's already in the queue and should be up soon!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #4, by Hhh Deeper

24th June 2014:
Wow! Great as always! Keep writing! I will look forward to reading the next chapter! Peter's life is so sad! And snapes story I can infer, will give a great insight on some of his actions. Nice descriptive details I could picture a lot of the scenes in this chapter. And sirius's relationship with grace? Is it going somewhere? Is he going to stop being such a player? Please update! P.S. If you didn't realize in the rest of my review; I love love love, how you put in some Sirius POV in the last chapter! Thank you so much for continuing with this story. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for keeping on reading and reviewing! I definitely got the hint about Sirius :p (and there will be more from his POV during the remainder of the story, especially after a certain point. While I would say Sirius has just been focused on no-strings-attached physical relationships so far, I wouldn't say he's a player in the strict sense. He wasn't lying to Shannon all that time ago when he said he was always honest with her and anyone he's ever had that with he's been up front with. Will there be a change in that area? Will it involve Grace? You'll have to wait and see...

Now that I'm done with my stories for the House Cup (an event members participate in on the forums) I will be back to writing the next chapter of this story. I'm hoping to use that House Cup to take advantage of the short turnaround time currently on offer and crank out a chapter by the weekend, so stay tuned.


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Review #5, by RupertsPheonix Stranger on the Street

18th June 2014:
A Sirius-centered chapter! Yay! I'm wondering though, will Grace become a more central character, or is she just a random girl during summer that will reveal to us something more in-depth about Sirius' character? Maybe their meeting will reveal something to Sirius himself?

Anyway, great chapter! Looking forward to some kind of Lily or James (or both) insights soon!

--Kate/RP

Author's Response: Howdy Kate!

I'll say this - Grace will stay with us after summer. And she'll be a character in her own right, though she'll also serve multiple purposes for the plot. I don't know how prominently she'll feature during Seventh Year (some), but post-graduation we'll see quite a bit more of her.

As far as insights go, if you're talking about the seeds of putting the "/" in James/Lily then that's seventh year material for sure, but if you're talking about insights into their individual continuing development, we'll see more of them for sure before summer is out.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Glad you're enjoying the story!

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #6, by RupertsPheonix Pale Sunshine

14th June 2014:
I so enjoyed reading the past 31 chapters! What a wonderful, slow-paced yet still engaging story! Thanks for presenting both Lily and James as good, decent people who are still somewhat flawed--I enjoy your realistic portrayal. Looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Howdy!

Thank you so much for reading the entire story so far and for taking the time to leave a review! Every read and every review inspires me to keep on trucking even through the tough moments!

I'm also particularly glad you think the portrayals and pace are realistic! That was honestly my prime objective with this story so it always make me feel good to hear that readers think it's coming across!

The next chapter is in the queue now, so hopefully it should be available soon! Thanks again for reading!


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Review #7, by peacock33 Pale Sunshine

11th June 2014:
I've always thought it would be weird and perhaps sad to be a Muggle-born and have to spend the summer without magic and as the outsider among your neighborhood.
It was interesting to see Lily and Remus' friendship. I'm surprised he was that upfront with her about her flaws, but I suppose he would be a good person as he is friends with both her and James, who seems to get the brunt of her judgmental anger. I'm interested to see how she'll try to change for the better, as changing bad habits is never easy.

Author's Response: Hello again! Glad to see you back!

Yes - I definitely wanted to touch on that at least a little. Things will get better for Lily this summer because she's certainly not going to be left completely alone (once her friends' lives settle down), but for now a little loneliness.

Re: Lily and Remus, I tried to do something a bit different with him. In a lot of fics I see him portrayed as almost best friends with Lily, but I wanted to take a step back from that. I think because of Lily's dislike for the Marauders they probably didn't develop a particularly close connection, but perhaps became friendly via being prefects together and both having reasons to be a bit lonelier than other students over the summer. I guess I see Remus as more of an active adviser for James (we've seen this some already, but more in the future), but having more of sounding-board type relationship with Lily.

With the flaws, I tried to make it so that Lily really is the one who subconsciously admitted them with her original statement and Remus not objecting just made it reach a conscious level for her. Apparently, I'll need to look at that a bit since it came across more as Remus bluntly telling her she has these flaws, but that was the aim anyway. Lily will certainly have her struggles with this - and James will have new issues developing that he'll have to work through too, but I'm hopeful that it will be a realistic journey and part of what helps them become the couple they grow into.

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing!


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Review #8, by idk Summer in Stroud

6th June 2014:
UPDATE QUICKLY!! WANT MORE TO READ!!!

Author's Response: The goal is to get the next chapter in the queue tonight. Glad you're excited for more!

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Review #9, by Hhh Summer in Stroud

3rd June 2014:
I understand the James/Katie thing is essential by reading your A/N. You are a really talented writer as your story seems so real that I end up screaming when I'm waiting for you to update. 1st review for this chapter and a loyal reader. I'm not even kidding, I keep a tab open on my ipad and check it everyday to see if you have updated recently. To wrap it all up, I love this story. Can you add more James/Lily contact in there though? And maybe have James and Katie break up because of Lily's relationship with James or something? Just an idea. Update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for R&R-ing! And I'm really glad you like the story that much! I had to work on another piece I had due for a challenge which is very much different from this one, but I'm hoping to have the next update in line for validation in the next couple of days.

As for James/Katie, I've got a very concrete idea of when and how they end and without spoiling it, it will be abrupt and it will be soon (i.e. during this summer). There will be some James/Lily contact on the way in the future (mostly at the end of summer), starting out not by choice, but obviously that will eventually change.

Thanks again for being such a loyal reader! An update is definitely coming!


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Review #10, by DivergentHarryTARDISMusic Sixth Year Slump

26th May 2014:
First I just gotta say how much I truly love your writing. I really appreciate your "slow burn", in fact I wish more authors wrote like this. From the moment I began reading this story a couple of weeks ago I automatically fell in love with it. I've loved your displays of the characters, and how you have managed your time in each chapter. Your work is truly inspiring for me as a beginning writer. Secondly, this is probably my favorite chapter so far! I love how well the duel between James and Lily came out! Not many people are able to capture the duels as well as you have here. Again, amazing job! I cant wait to see what else you have in store!
Oh and I hope this isn't asking for too much, since I understand how busy you must be writing this story, but if you could take the time to read my story it would mean the world to me. It's called 'The Life and Death of Violet Chambers', and I only have a Prologue up so far. But I would really appreciate your input and constructive criticism. Please and thank-you. (:

Author's Response: Howdy! Thank you so much for sticking with the story and taking the time to leave a review!

I'm definitely glad you like my take on the "slow burn". I'll be the first to admit it's going to be way too slow for some people, but my whole goal was to make it believable, and I think this taking a lot of time is. It means a lot that you like the characters and find them believable because that's exactly what I want to achieve!

As far as the duel goes, it's great that you enjoyed it! I worried for quite some time after posting this (though you're the first to comment on the duel at all) that I had made the magic they proved capable of at the end "too much" for their age. So at least I have one voice now who thought it was well done!

Again, I appreciate you reading and taking the time to leave a review! I hope you keep enjoying the story!


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Review #11, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Words of Wisdom

26th May 2014:
Hi Kevin!

I've finally managed to get back here and I'm so happy I have!

I found this chapter really sweet. From the start I was excited to read it as not many authors develop family relationships and I find that really disappointing. From what we know in canon to, I find it perfectly reasonable that James would turn to his father for help... I always got the impression James was close to both his parents - not sure whether that's just me!

Francis Potter- I really liked him. You got a really fun and playful side of him across which I loved, as well as the fact he is a busy and important man. The bit where he asks if his son has finally been expelled yet and is disappointed because he still has to buy stuff from Diagon Ally really made me laugh. Moments like that are lovely in a story and I have to compliment you on them in this chapter.

The advice that Francis gives James is excellent of course but also really warmed my heart. The quote "Women have a gift for that, leaving the boy in the past when the man emerges." really touched me, I thought that was so lovely.

So all in all, I loved this chapter. Like I said before, moments like this are too rare in FF and I commend you on writing it. My one bit of CC would be perhaps to extend it a little? I just felt I would have liked a bit more between James and Francis. James gets straight into the problem with Lily... would there be small talk either before or after? I don't think you need loads as what you've got already is great but a little more between them wouldn't hurt?

Looking forward to reading more!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad to see you back!

I definitely agree with you about the length. This is one of the chapters that pains me a bit in retrospect because I was just getting back into the groove of creative writing at the time and it was a bit of a challenge that I elected to just "push through" with the idea to come back later. I'm really glad that you liked what exists though. I wasn't sure at the time if it was too much.

I'm also glad you liked Francis. I figured being as wealthy as his family were, and being pureblood, Mr. Potter was bound to be a "major player" in the wizarding world. Being older too, I figured he'd be fairly sagacious. But more than anything, I also figured James had to get his joking, playful attitude from somewhere - and why not his dad?

We'll see the idea behind the line you like come back in various ways throughout the fic too, so I'm glad it stood out and rang well with you!

As for the family relationships aspect, that actually pains me most about this chapter. I made this comment in the A/N about wanting to explore them more (and I do intend to), but so far I've done comparatively little of it in the rest of the fic and so I just look back at that note and think ERG! But I'm into summer again now (in the story) so I will definitely be doing some of that after a LONG delay.

Thanks so much for the thoughtful review!


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Review #12, by lumos_knox Words of Wisdom

25th May 2014:
Hello, me again!

It's great to see that James is finally realizing and at last becoming mature. Great chapter! I'm off to read more.

-lumos_knox

Author's Response: Thanks for keeping on reading! Glad you're enjoying it!

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Review #13, by peacock33 The Quidditch Cup

21st May 2014:
Great to see another chapter so soon! I have to admit I'm not the biggest Quidditch fan myself, so I kind of skimmed that whole part. But it was interesting to hear Sirius talk about what it means to him. I am wondering what you are going to do with him and Renee since they seem to get along and you won't be doing a romance (thankfully).

I hope the Katie/James thing ends soon, mostly because at this point she isn't even around much and it just seems like it doesn't really have much to add to the story anymore. I'm much more interested to see how they break up after all your mysterious hints! And since we've only seen their relationship be perfect, I hope we get to see some more cracks before they break up so it isn't so much out of the blue and so both of them can have an easier time getting closure and moving on. We wouldn't want James to idealize Katie and their relationship forever!

I feel bad for Lily cleaning everything up, but wonder if she kind of makes herself a martyr as people probably would have helped when they woke up?
At this point, James and Lily don't seem to have any real interest in each other and I wouldn't imagine them getting together at all if I didn't know better, so you have your work cut out for you in building a relationship between them. But that will just make it all the more interesting and I'm excited to see how things develop.
Thanks for sharing.

Author's Response: Hello again!

No worries about Quidditch. I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I think of it as a very big deal to James (and Sirius) and so I want it to be a little more present than just passing references. It probably won't feature as prominently (even the references) in the future though for reasons you'll see come to the fore as the summer chapters roll on.

Heh. James/Katie. Well, I'll confess outright that the summer features James/Katie (they are dating and live in the same town...). The next chapter (in the queue) contains some fluff for them, but that's for reasons explained in the A/N. As far as cracks go, I think you'll see snippets of some of Katie's insecurities, but truthfully their break-up is going to happen pretty quickly. Hopefully this won't scare you off, but that break-up is going to fuel continued growth on James's part. The reality is that from my perspective, Katie is James's first love (chronologically speaking). What happens is going to hit him hard. But will he idealize the relationship forever? No. That's part of the growth he'll undergo once it's over. Though his love for Lily comes after Katie, it will definitely be his first love in heart - and the only romantic love he harbors. By the end of the story (if I've done my job) there should be zero doubt about that and zero concern that Katie might have been better for him or be thought of as "the one that got away" or anything like that.

You're getting that Lily makes things more difficult on herself and then gets upset about them. Mission accomplished. I've kind of tried to take this and make it something of a flaw for her as a play on everyone's opinion in the books that Lily was so kind. James, being someone she doesn't particularly like at this point in time, gets to be one of the people who actually sees how she feels sometimes about some of her kindness and it's not all warm and fuzzy. That's not to say she didn't do the cleaning up to be kind, just that she sometimes expects a disparate amount of gratitude in return for something nobody ever expected her to do and gets irritated if she doesn't get it or acts put upon if she's not helped (when the kindness is a "community" thing).

As far as James/Lily, Lily has been distracted from noticing much about James by her break-up and then by exams. What she has noticed obviously hasn't been positive recently. Romantically, James only has eyes for Katie. So I have set myself a task I suppose, but I've done so by design. There's a long way to go in this story and I think you'll find that the build-up of James/Lily is a bit different than you might normally find, but will definitely be handled carefully (and hopefully done justice).

Thanks again for reading and for all your splendid reviews! They are very much appreciated!


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Review #14, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing The End of the Line

18th May 2014:
Hi again!

I was really pleased to see a change in perspective here; as you probably gathered from reading RotG, I do like it when the perspective changes.

Again this was a really introspective chapter but gave us a good view of where Lily is as a character . It's a hard point in time for her, she's not only lost her best friend but she's losing him to people who hate everything Lily is. I think you dealt with the situation well though.

Something as simple as counting the letters, I mean Lily always comes across as smart and logical and this just seems the thing she might do. I felt really connected to her as a character. You portrayed her really well. I also like that she realises she's not so hurt by what Sev said as much as what it means for his future.

The letter. Oh it was so heartbreaking! I really felt for Lily. It had such an element of finality about it and it's just so awful for her, even if it's for the best.

Great chapter once again, I can't wait to keep reading and meeting some more of your characters!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Ahh changing perspectives! I like it too and when exploring characters really changing and a couple coming together that starts out with such animosity between them, I felt like it would be absolutely necessary in this story. I really admire how seamlessly you do it in Rules of the Game with such different characters!

I definitely wanted to counter James's introspection with Lily's too. I thought it was important to tie up how the aftereffects of Snape's Worst Memory would hit her too, not just as a character, but to set up some of how things play out in the future.

The letter counting! I'm ashamed to admit this is a classic case of people seeing more than I intended, but I'm glad you thought it fit Lily. Really I only had her do it to show hesitance and more wrestling, but you make an excellent point that it fits part of who we know her to be.

Thanks so much again! Your feedback has been very kind! I hope you keep enjoying the story!


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Review #15, by FredWeasleyIsMyKing Ain't No Sunshine

18th May 2014:
Hi Kevin!

I was so excited when I did the pairing for the review exchange and saw I could come and review some of your work! I've been meaning to come and look at your page for a while! Then it's Lily/James which is my OTP so that's even better!

I really love how you started this story, I really like the character you've given James. He already seems to have a lot of the traits I would expect from him from what we know in canon but you've also put a new slant on him. He isn't completely taken with Lily, although the teasing is there and I actually like that. I feel from the beginning we're going to get a realistic look into them getting together which you then confirmed in your AN. I'd much rather read something like this any day!

Some small points, his opinion and thoughts of Snape are spot on and I also love the way he is with Tinka. It's details like that that set stories apart.

Your description is also very well done. There's a lot of introspection in this first chapter as he comes to realise his feelings for Lily and I really felt that helped us get to know his character better.

Overall, I think you did a great job and I can't wait to continue reading!

Lauren :)

Author's Response: Howdy Lauren!

I was super excited to be paired with you too! Seeing as I'm writing this crazy long novel, you can probably already tell I'm a big James/Lily fan too...

I'm definitely glad to hear you liked the approach to James. It's always been my head canon that he's not the type to really long after a girl and that he wasn't mature enough until near the end of school to actually fall in love. Still, given his understanding of and the lengths he goes to for Lupin, he's not devoid of thoughtfulness and introspection. What would trigger that re: Lily? For me, Snape's Worst Memory.

I'm also glad you found the descriptions good! Description is something that's really long been a weaker aspect of my writing and something I've really been working on since jumping back into it!

And Tinka! I figured the Potters would probably have a house elf, but not mistreat it being more progressive than most purebloods. We'll see Tinka reappear a few more times throughout the story so hopefully I'll be able to keep that working okay (fingers crossed).

Thanks for the delightful review!


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Review #16, by lumos_knox Ain't No Sunshine

16th May 2014:
Hello, I'm really liking this first chapter! Your description is very good!

You seem to be worried about taking things too slow. That's what makes it believable, I mean, it doesn't happen in two chapters flat!

A few stories I've read seem to feature that, A meets B and two days later...

I have a feeling as I read on that I am going to discover quite an excellent story. Even though you mention you hadn't written for a while before this, I can't actually tell.

You are also making me feel very hungry :) what with all the description of bacon and eggs. My mouth is watering!

James' POV of Snape is spot on, of course. He knows Snape is destined for dark wizardry, and decides he needs to be punished early. You have described it well, the hate of each other.

Then there are James' feelings for Lily. It's sort of like Ron/Hermione, they both like each other, but neither will actually admit it and they convince themselves they don't, that the other is arrogant/goody-two-shoes, etc.

Thanks for sharing!
-lumos_knox

Author's Response: Hello there!

Thanks for the kind words about the story and the description! I certainly hope you'll decide that you've found an excellent story! It's encouraging to know you didn't notice any rust here, even in Chapter 1. Perhaps I'll find that I don't need to make the change I've been thinking, but there's one thing in particular I'd be interested to see (if you keep reading) if you comment on that has been vexing me a bit about the early chapters compared to the way the story has played out. If it doesn't prove noticeable, perhaps I'll leave this bad boy as is.

As far as the pace is concerned, I'm honestly not worried about it myself, but I like to warn readers (and potential readers) so they know what they're getting into. Some folks read the idea of a slow burn much differently than others. Me? I consider myself a pretty patient reader already in terms of pace, but some are not nearly as patient as me.

Thanks for stopping by and for the review! Hope to see you again!


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Review #17, by Court Sixth Year Slump

13th May 2014:
It was great to finally see some more Lily and James interaction, and I have to admit it was kind of nice to not have it interrupted by Katie (while she's great, I feel like I'm ready for the story to move on, and it's hard to be too invested when we all know it's just temporary). I have enjoyed the scenes with her and James, but at this point it seems clear that their relationship is perfect and he's moved on from Lily, so I wonder if there is that much more to develop with that story arc? So I'm interested to see what you do with it.

And I can't help wondering if Lily and James are a better fit because they seem to be more evenly matched in terms of talent and intelligence, as was made clear here.

I'm really liking James's development and he is definitely much more appealing than Lily at the moment. I can see why he would be happy with Katie and be able to move on from Lily if she keeps acting like this. But I also feel somewhat bad for as her terribleness seems in part related to the fact that Lily is just unhappy with a lot of things in her life that she is taking out on James that really have nothing to do with him. So I'm looking forward to her maturing and not being so selfish, irrationally angry and self-pitying. And if Sirius has had a hard time with Katie, I can't imagine what his reaction will be to James getting together with Lily?

I felt like the end of this chapter was maybe a foreshadowing of James and Lily having to fight together in the future and I wonder if that will bring them closer together or if they will already be involved before that happens?

Thanks for being so consistent and can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Hello again! Thank you for reading so consistently! I get precious little feedback on this story most of the time so I really relish it when I get detailed, thought-out reviews like yours.

In terms of James/Katie, all I can say is that you are right about that story arc. They'll be wound up soon and in a way that will cause James to do some more development. As for the details - you'll just have to wait and see what happens.

It's good to see you've noticed that Lily needs maturing too. That's something I really wanted to emphasize with her because often (thanks to the books being from Harry's POV and her sacrifice) she gets painted as a perfect person, which I think is impossible, so this story will be about her growth too. While the beginning has been largely about James's (while showing some of Lily's flaws), the next portion of the story (which we have ALMOST reached) will be a lot about Lily's growth (with a little more from James as well). As for Sirius...James will have a sales job ahead for sure, but there will be reasons that Sirius is a bit more understanding.

Thanks again for the wonderful review! I'm glad you're enjoying it and I hope to have another update to round out Sixth Year (I'm sure you're saying - FINALLY) soon!


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Review #18, by Hhh Sixth Year Slump

12th May 2014:
Wow! I loved the duel thing you had going on! I also like how you've been showing Lily's shorttemper too. You really got the point across. How are you going to start the next chapter? What's going on with Sirius? Are you going to end James/Katie yet? How soon? Is Lily going to be caught up in her petty ways or will she see true love in James? Why can't they just start dating?! Sorry about the onslaught of questions but this chapter intrigued me. I am also still a Katie hater... Thank you for being such a great author! This is probably the longest review in which I've ever sent. Your story is just that good. By the way may I suggest you do a next genaration story? One centering on scorpius/rose? THANK YOU

Author's Response: Hello again! Thanks for the review and the questions! Naturally I can't answer ALL of them, but I'll do my best.

I'm glad you liked the duel and that Lily's temper is coming through. It's certainly one of her flaws and hopefully you're seeing that despite her better disciplinary record at Hogwarts, James isn't the only way who has some growing up to do.

The next chapter doesn't have anything huge to spoil, so I can tell you that it will open with Sirius and Renee's second date, but as I've already let slip to another reviewer there's no relationship coming there. The date will be far from a disaster or anything, but they just aren't a fit from my perspective.

As for James/Katie, their turn is coming to an end soon. How soon? I can't spoil that can I? But soon.

Since this story is about Lily's maturation too, she will not stay caught up in pettiness, old judgments and her current flaws. A lot of the shorter period of the story I've dubbed the "middle" (at least in my head) will focus on Lily growing up and moving past some of that. Aside from the James/Katie relationship - which IS genuine - I would say Lily herself is really the biggest obstacle to James/Lily that has to be removed at this point (not James anymore).

Re: the possibility of a Next-Gen, honestly when I joined this site, I swore I'd never read a Next-Gen because the vibe they gave me was just so...I don't know...I just didn't like it. But I have read and reviewed so many excellent Next-Gens now that I have actually considered one day writing one. Unfortunately, I will say that such a day is a LONG way off. Once I finish this story (which is a LONG way off itself), I actually have already planned an AU novel as my next major project (which may evolve into more than one novel). After that, I may take on a Next-Gen novel before writing either the next novel from that AU or another new project. I'm not sure. But as you can imagine, that's some way into the future for me.

Thanks for reading and reviewing!


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Review #19, by Hhh Growing Pains

9th May 2014:
Love it! Please please please update! I want Katie to go away! It's supposed to be about James and Lily :((

Author's Response: Howdy! Glad you're enjoying it. Though I like Katie quite a bit, don't fret. James/Katie will be over soon enough (sooner than you might think).

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Review #20, by Hhh Growing Pains

9th May 2014:
Love it! Please please please update! I want Katie to go away! It's supposed to be about James and Lily :((

Author's Response: Howdy! Glad you're enjoying it. Though I like Katie quite a bit, don't fret. James/Katie will be over soon enough (sooner than you might think).

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Review #21, by peacock33 Growing Pains

8th May 2014:
After I submitted my review, I thought I had probably been too harsh against Renee. So thanks for being such a good sport with us readers who may have a different interpretation than you, and for always giving such thorough responses.

I had been feeling bad for Sirius having to talk about his family when he didn't want to, but after I thought about it more, I wonder if part of Renee's pushiness was a little mischievous and at least in part an attempt to get back at Sirius for his rude behavior to her and Katie? He would definitely deserve a little of that and he could probably use more people standing up to him when he's being obnoxious. So I could see him and Renee being friends if they didn't have to worry about the other person liking them. So I look forward to seeing more of them together. And I also thought that she seems really different than Katie, so it would be interesting to see them interact together (since James and Katie basically ditched the "double date"). I guess if Sirius and Renee become friends it willl just further the James/Katie perfectness - haha.

One of the things I find interesting about your story is how unpredictable it seems. I mean I know that Lily/James end up together and that there is going to be issues with the war, but at this point I don't have any idea how or when they will get together as so far it seems like a story more about James and Katie's great love, with Lily not even really on the radar. If I didn't know this was supposed to be James/Lily pairing, I wouldn't even really suspect them of ending up together at this point. So while it drives me a little crazy at times and makes me worried that James/Lily will be hard to believe, it's refreshing to have it be drawn out and not just seem too obvious or rushed or forced. While sometimes I want them to only have eyes for each other, that's hardly realistic or healthy, so I look forward to seeing how you convince us that James and Lily could be happy together. So thanks for sharing your writing and investing a lot of time and consideration into the story.

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by again! I always love exchanges with readers (though I don't get many)! I had another lengthy response typed out, but when I went to post it my connection dropped and so you've ended up with this.

I'll admit at the start that Renee's pushiness is really part of her character. Though we haven't seen a lot of her thus far (since until this point she's been a fairly typical 'sounding-board' type friend) for Katie, there are hints at this in their interactions. And you are absolutely right, Renee and Katie are definitely different. I think Renee was harder on Sirius because she knew going in how difficult he would be. You will definitely see a bit more of Renee as the story trucks along, though only the second date will involve James/Katie - take from that what you will ;)

As far as James/Lily, that is definitely what I'm going for. I think my head canon about them tends to be a bit different from many people's primarily because I take the approach that what we learn in canon about James and Lily is always colored by the fact that we're seeing them through Harry's eyes. In reality they are not perfect and though it doesn't get attention in the books really, I have to insist that extends to Lily as well. My approach is this. While James may have harbored and attraction to Lily for most of his time at Hogwarts (and targeted her for teasing partly because of this), I don't think it ever really deepened beyond the superficial level until later (here I've obviously settled on after the incident from Snape's Worst Memory). I absolutely hate the argument that because of how we now he constantly asked Lily out during 5th year that people characterize James as "obsessive" or "creepy" because since his attraction was still superficial then (in my opinion anyway) I think he was just teasing her. At any rate, I wanted to set it up where James has this epiphany post-5th year, actually seriously considering her in a more mature, romantic way. So he tries to be better for her. But James is not the type to pine away (again in my opinion - I think that's Snape who does that), so when she appears to be completely unmoved by his efforts he (which I think is believable given his age) has his attention caught by Katie and genuinely falls for her, though notably, he still holds on to being more grown up (most of the time). For her part, Lily is simply very reluctant to change her opinion of James, but is not actually entirely unmoved by the changes she does notice. She just doesn't understand them because if she's honest, she's never actually tried to understand James. She's just disliked him. What this saga about my head canon is all leading up to (aside from me just wanting to get it out) is that you will be seeing more James/Lily immediately. As in next chapter (which is already in the queue). These interactions will take place in a number of situations and certainly won't all be tender, but you'll see A LOT of them together. So get excited for that!

I want to thank you again for reading and taking the time to leave these thoughtful reviews! It really means a lot to me that you take the time to read and think and have these little exchanges with me as an author! I think it's super, even when we disagree, because after all, what is writing or reading without differences of opinion? I hope you continue to enjoy it!


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Review #22, by peacock33 Growing Pains

8th May 2014:
I don't want to be too critical, but I have to admit I found Renee somewhat annoying. I'm thinking you are trying to take the angle that her being so demanding and confident is going to make Sirius intrigued and break down his barriers? While I did like that she was confident and didn't let him intimidate her, I thought it was kind of obnoxious that she acted like he owed her anything. If he doesn't want to tell her his life story, then that's his right and it's none of her business.
I was a little confused about how she thought that her going on this date meant she was going to get to know him in a way no other girl had before? Hasn't he been on dates before? Why was this one going to be so different? Or did she just think that because he had to make Katie and James forgive him, she could manipulate the situation to make him do whatever she wanted? There were moments I liked her, but I just thought her being so pushy and forcing him to take her on a second date was too much. The whole situation just seemed kind of forced and manipulative to me. But I am interested to see how things progress and personally wouldn't mind them becoming friends, but hopefully not more, especially as it would seem too convenient for Sirius to date James' girlfriend's best friend, which happens in so many stories (although it's usually Lily's best friend).
Anyway, can't wait for more.

Author's Response: Hello again!

First off, no need to apologize! You're putting in the time reading the story and I always appreciate feedback, positive or negative.

Renee was supposed to come across as forceful, confident, and yes, a bit devious. She definitely took advantage of the situation which, to clarify, was going to afford her more answers than other dates would get because Sirius had promised to take it seriously and put a bit of himself out there. Sirius being a man of his word, begrudgingly obliged, at least a little.

At the same time, I will defend Renee a bit. While I'm sorry you found her annoying, entitled, and obnoxious, I tried to make it clear that Sirius, while irritated and reluctant to open up to her, did not really see her that way. Ignoring his appreciation of her appearance, Sirius liked a lot of what he saw, despite his angry outburst. He respected that she could be scheme. He respected her when she bested him. And he respected her sneaky way of achieving a second date. He could have easily called her out, but chose instead to roll with it.

However, I will throw you a bone and deliver a tiny spoiler (only because it's TINY!) that I think you will be pleased with: Renee is not the OC referred to by Sirius/OC. We'll see the second date, but it will serve another purpose entirely and Sirius and Renee will not become a couple. Trust me, I dislike the Sirius/James's GF's best friend as much as you do. I see Sirius only being capable of a relationship with a certain type of person given his baggage and Renee does not fit, even if he does appreciate her.

As always, I appreciate your continuing to read and review! Your thoughts are always welcome and appreciated even if they run counter to my own. Hopefully you'll enjoy the next chapter more (or if not, we can enjoy another spirited interaction here).


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Review #23, by Court Three Funerals

26th April 2014:
Poor Lionel. He was sweet, so I hope he's not upset for too long. And I did like that you switched things up and had Lily be the one who wanted more in the relationship, and it wasn't just a typical high school romance with the boy only caring about sex.
Was the blond-haired Death Eater supposed to be important or someone we know or just an example of how things are getting darker?
Can't wait for more

Author's Response: Hello again! Thanks for sticking with the story and for reviewing as well!

I feel a bit bad for Lionel himself. He is a good guy with a big heart and a lot to give, but just not right for Lily for a number of reasons. Some are the reasons she gave, but others she'll come to understand later in the story.

As for the Death Eaters, the two that received physical descriptions are people you know, but the scenes involving them are also examples of the darkening world. They will not feature prominently in the main storyline until much much later.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!


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Review #24, by Rowling82 Three Funerals

24th April 2014:
Hello TidalDragon,

Thanks for writing this, it's fantastic! I'm quite glad that Lily and Lionel broke up. Lionel was quite slow as a matter of fact. I wonder when James and Katie will break up. And how? But I leave that to you to tell and to decide when! I've got an idea, but you don't have to follow it! Katie and James have a major snog at breakfast the next day. James goes up to the teachers table, stands there for a few seconds, then snogs her. If you don't want ideas, please say so, no offence will be taken!

Thanks for writing!

From
Callista G.

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm glad you're still enjoying the story! As for ideas, I always like to read whatever thoughts, theories, or suggestions my story inspires in my readers! I will be honest and admit that as a writer I have pretty firm ideas of where my story is headed and likely will not incorporate suggestions, it doesn't mean I don't want to hear them. Often suggestions people make give me an idea of how they see my characters, relationships, settings, etc. that help me understand whether I'm getting them across as intended in the story.

I appreciate you taking the time to read and review and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!


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Review #25, by shez The End of the Line

24th April 2014:
Hey there! Returning the (admittedly, even later) review swap!

I decided to go with the classic Jilly and I have to say, I'm really pleased with the direction you plan on taking it, not rushing into the romance, rather letting it play out in a more organic way. That, in addition to your sophisticated diction choices, really makes this a treat to read (and I think that switching perspectives is a great idea!).

Chapter 1-- I really like the way you chose to portray James and his home-life. I personally never pictured him to be as rich as, say, Sirius, or even be in the possession of a house-elf, but the way you wrote it felt very natural and plausible to me. Likewise, the exposition [from the marauders to quidditch to Severus to his father to, of course, his emerging feelings for Lily] was very well done for an intro chapter. So of course I read chapter 2 :)

Chapter 2-- Ahh, the falling away of a friendship. It's sad but necessary, I think, for Lily transitioning from childhood to adulthood (and eventually James). I really like the attention both James and Lily give to Severus in their introspective chapters; I like that you've given him a fairly large role. He's always been my favorite character so I can't wait to see him develop! Lily's letter to him is really heartbreaking.

I think this a really unique James and Lily story (and no I don't mean Jily. I like that you've chosen to explore both characters as individuals before pairing them up). This is a fantastic beginning to a story!

Author's Response: Howdy! Thanks for the swap (and for reading two chapters not just one)!

I'm glad you like the approach I'm taking. I really wanted to delve into both James and Lily independently for quite some time before bringing them together for several reasons. First, I just don't think it's realistic that they suddenly fall for one another given their history. Second (and related), I wanted to show that both of them - not just James - needed to grow in certain ways and understand themselves better before their feelings become mutual, let alone before they begin a relationship. Third, I wanted to challenge the "soulmates" trope that seems to exist around them (more particularly with James) by showing each of them in other realistic relationships before they pair up. I think I'll probably come back and edit parts of the early portion to accomplish these goals more appropriately, because I'm not satisfied with aspects of them that come later in the story, but we'll see.

As for Snape, I'm glad you liked those inclusions too! I will confess that while he is interwoven throughout the story, he doesn't feature frequently through most of the first half (which is beyond where I've written so far) - however he does feature more strongly later, and if you keep reading, I hope you'll find I did him justice.

Thanks again for the swap! I appreciated your thoughtful and detailed review!


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