Reading Reviews for Evolution
  
322 Reviews Found

Review #1, by StarFeather O Captain, My Captain

30th April 2016:
Hallo, Kevin! I thought of stopping by after I saw your name on the forums. Forgive me, my English isn't good, I'm not sure if I can tell my thoughts precisely.

I love to read quidditch things. I remembered Harry in his sixth year, was in the same situation as James. I was excited, your descriptions about tryouts are fun to read. You captured the characteristic of Sirius very well, his attitude towards James is exact Sirius Black.

It's pleasant to imagine that James is distracted by Lily's presence, but you didn't write so easily. Were Lily's best friends spying James? What for?

I always like your naming the players. Ah, O'Shea, is that Irish name? And Craig! I like the name, too. I heard the same title of the Irish tune played often in the pub.

Hmm, I imagined Kaitie Bell when I read Wallenby..., wait, didn't Slughorn invite the Wallenby boy to his club?

I really enjoyed the active scene James and Sirius engaged themselves in the tryouts and the descriptions about the way how the players worked hard to get each position.

You changed Lily on the banner, nice! I like her.

Kenny

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Review #2, by marauderfan The Price of Popularity

30th April 2016:
The flowers... haha, James is such a cheeseball.

wow, as for the rest of it though, poor Katie. To be just an average girl, not popular, not unpopular, just average - and then to suddenly be the most talked about person at school, and none of it good, that's got to be so difficult. I hope this perception of all the whispers is just because we're seeing the situation through Katie's eyes, and not because literally every girl at school has nothing to talk about other than gossip about a boy :P And those girls in the library were totally giving Hufflepuff a bad name. Don't they know Hufflepuff is the house for the nice people? For shame, Rebecca! I hope the gossip calms down soon. I guess gossip usually does calm down once people find something else to talk about, so that's good at least!

I think James and Katie's discussion at the end was really well written. She's hesitant to be vulnerable and talk about things that really bother her because she doesn't want to be whiny and also doesn't want to hurt James, because a lot of it wasn't particularly nice about him either. And he's ashamed of some of his past and how it's landed her in this situation. But the way they talk about it is a very 'we're in this together' sort of way, as they both know it's a rough situation but they'll help each other through. They're already going through some difficulties but the way they respond to it says a lot, and they're supportive of each other. I think it bodes well for them in the future.

This was a great chapter!

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Review #3, by marauderfan One Day in November

30th April 2016:
I do really like Katie. She has a lot of integrity, and it's been evident in earlier chapters but especially clear here, as she's preparing for her date - she is who she is, and isn't going to change who she is for the sake of becoming the image she thinks another person wants her to be. She's so right - if he doesn't like her as she is, she can find someone who does.

And I like that James appreciates that about her too - he noticed she just looked like herself.

In this chapter it feels like where the reader is first getting to really know what Katie is like as a person, and that she's not going to be just a plot device, but an important character in her own right.

Their date was really cute - who knew James could play the violin? Kudos to him for originality :P James and Katie really are cute together and have a lot of chemistry. I hate that you're going to break them up eventually. :P But I'm sure you'll have good reasons, canon being the most obvious one haha

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Review #4, by marauderfan Aftermath

30th April 2016:
I'm back, as promised! I loved the prank idea with the notes. That sounds like such a nice prank, (never thought I'd use those two words together) with them sending notes of compliments to everyone. Though I do wonder how complimentary the notes to the Slytherins actually were. Like what would they write to Snape? "Dear Snivelly, your hair didn't look as greasy as usual today. Keep up the good work." :P

Lily kept the note from James in her book! And she's hiding it from her friends! Ahh! I know it doesn't mean she likes him yet- far from it - but she is definitely thinking about him a lot more than she used to, and what's more, hiding that fact from her friends.

Ah, I suspected Remus had figured James out. As someone who keeps such a big secret himself, he probably can tell when other people are keeping secrets, and James isn't really subtle. But Remus calling James out on pursuing someone as a cover story will probably get James to make some decisions. I mean, James certainly does seem to like Katie, even if he chose her as a cover story. And she actually likes him too, which must be pretty encouraging. Poor James though, it's really evident in this exchange how uncomfortable he is with his secrets being exposed, while Remus just kind of figures things out nonchalantly :P

great chapter!

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Review #5, by Unwritten Curse Words of Wisdom

30th April 2016:
What a wonderful addition! I'm loving Francis Potter, and I'm so glad that you've included James's family in this piece (from your A/N, I'm assuming that will continue). Francis is cleverly done. I can tell by the way he speaks that he's older (and wise), that he loves James (especially with the teasing), and that he was very much like James as a kid.

I find it fascinating that both James and Lily seem to be on a sort of precipice entering their sixth year. They're both facing some changes that will ultimately help them to grow (and to grow together, in time). Are we going back to Hogwarts soon? Because I am desperate to see how they interact after "the incident." :)

-- Gina

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Review #6, by Unwritten Curse The End of the Line

30th April 2016:
This is beautiful. Truly beautiful.

I think you write Lily better than you write James. And please don't take this as a criticism of your characterization of the latter, because you already know how well I think you write James, it's just... This is Lily. Complex and thoughtful and eloquent and mature. This is everything I imagine Lily to be and that you captured everything in one chapter is astounding.

The letter almost made me cry. I can imagine how hard it was to write it, especially considering their shared history. Snape was her first magical friend, her introduction to the wizarding world, and closing that door must have been excruciating. But it was best for her. (And hopefully a wake-up call to Snape.)

I'm excited to see how this changes her relationship with James. Will they become friends now?

On to the next!

-- Gina

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Review #7, by Unwritten Curse Ain't No Sunshine

30th April 2016:
Hi Kevin!

I'm so glad that you're up for Hot Seat Reviews because it gives me an excuse to give you the reviews I owe you (and hopefully more, because you were SO generous during our fundraiser).

I really admire your writing and this chapter is no different. It's amazing how you can pull off an entire chapter of reminiscence without me feeling bored for one second. This feels like the perfect rendition of James--especially at this time in his life, when he's beginning to mature and to see Lily as a human being rather than a girl to tease. He's dealing with a lot at this point. A friend who is a werewolf. A rivalry that has gone a bit too far. Blossoming feelings. You write him well.

Your A/N made me even more excited to read your story. I think your trepidation at this not being a "quick fix" and at the James/OC and Lily/OC relationships is ironic, because those things actually make me want to read the story even more, as they reassure me it won't be the cliche Jily fic. Thanks for taking on this project. I'm looking forward to reading more.

-- Gina

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Review #8, by marauderfan Celebration

30th April 2016:
Another great chapter! (of course)

I love how you're setting up the eventual Katie/James ship. I ship them already. I mean, I know it won't work out, but I can still float this ship for a little while at least. I like how she can see right through James, and gets him to admit things he wouldn't ordinarily - like the fact that he needs help with the decorating. She's supportive yet also doesn't take any of his act about how he's so cool he doesn't need help. She sees the human in him rather than the Legendary Quidditch Star/Marauder persona he's trying to cultivate. I think she's good for him.

And Lily! I really loved that scene between her and James. The fact that he listens to her and acts on it really shows a step in maturity, which Lily was so unprepared for haha. Definitely gives her a lot to think about, even though at this point she's not really aware that he is trying to improve, she just is really confused and can't figure him out yet, because this current behaviour of James' is just an anomaly in a history of careless rulebreaking. Remus, I think, has figured out a lot more than he lets on. He's a perceptive one.

Since you made a note about POV shifts at the end, I just wanted to say that I like them. It provides a really rounded picture of what's going on as a whole. In this chapter particularly, you have the POV shifts separated into sections, which I think works a lot better than the previous chapter which kind of drifted between Lily and James and the commentator without being in separate, clear sections, so I think this chapter is better organized. Eh, my 2 cents. Regardless, I like the shifts :)

I will be back with more reviews later but right now it's really late at night and my reviews will turn to gibberish if I keep going now :P Can't wait to keep reading tomorrow.

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Review #9, by marauderfan Just a Game

29th April 2016:
Hi Kevin! You're on the hot seat, congrats! So it's really about time I got back to reading this story. I'm starting here on chapter 8 though, because I reviewed the first 7 chapters a while ago, as Voldemort... So without further ado, here goes!

What an exciting chapter! I do really love Quidditch match chapters :D Lily in the beginning kind of reminds me of Hermione, though I think a large part of the reason Hermione wasn't interested in flying was because she wasn't good at it, and I can't tell yet if that's the case with Lily. Regardless, despite that she's less than enthused about the prospect of watching people 'just flying about on brooms' she goes with her friends to support them, and the Gryffindor team... if somewhat begrudgingly, she did at least go.

I really like Katie, and I can see why James likes her too! That girl is a firecracker! I laughed when she essentially guilt tripped Lily into staying out there. I mean, front row seats. You don't just get up and leave. :P

I thought it was interesting how the chapter is mostly narrated by the Quidditch commentator, and I think it works well in this situation because then it's kind of simultaneously what Lily and James are experiencing - though it did drift more into James' thoughts during the match than Lily's. (Which is probably good - Lily's thoughts would have probably been a lot like 'ugh how has it only been two minutes since I last looked at my watch?'

James is such a trooper here playing quidditch even with that gnarly of an injury. And staying afterwards to thank the Gryffindor stands rather than going off to deal with his injury. It's very selfless of him - like, he's acknowledging all the many people who came out to see the team play and thanking them for their time. I like that. Shows he's not as selfish and conceited as Lily says he is - and the comparison is only too funny considering Lily selfishly wanting to leave in the middle of the match :P

A great chapter and it feels so good to come back to this fic. I really loved it when I was reading before and I'm so glad the hot seat reminded me to make time and come back!

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Review #10, by peacock33 Sunrise

21st March 2016:
It's been a while since i've been to read this story but glad to see it's still going strong. And that Lily and JAmes are finally together! I'm glad that Lily was honest enough to say that she wanted something serious. I know James thinks he's over Katie, but it will be interesting to see if he is still troubled by guilt. And I wonder if other people, like Katie's friends, are going to be upset at him? Can't wait to see how things progress.

Author's Response: Howdy! I'm sorry for the delay in responding (and updating). The last 5-6 weeks have been absolutely brutal outside of here and then I wound up with medical difficulties on the back of it this week and last.

I'm glad you thought Lily came across as real and honest and that it didn't feel too contrived. You certainly raise a good point about Katie and you're correct that there will be some fallout, though perhaps not from where you're expecting (or perhaps exactly from where you're expecting - who knows). Stay tuned!

Thanks so much for so diligently R&R-ing despite my sporadic updating.


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Review #11, by StarFeather Another Run-In

21st March 2016:
Hi, Kevin. Thank you for your kind PM the other day.
:)

I determined to read and leave reviews on the works written by the active Gryffies and came back to your story.

You set the first interaction between James and Lily
in this chapter. And I guess readers have much expectation from here. Each movement, Lily's reaction is well written, so we don't feel awkward at all, it's perfect.

The description how James had jealous feeling against Baird reminded me of Harry who had the similar reaction for Ginny's boyfriend.

I'm always amazed by the description about young mischievous Sirius written by the authirs in this site. Yours is one of them, Kevin. I like it.

Knowing your idea about Snape, I'm curious how you will develop the rivalry between him and James from here. I'll come back again.

Kenny

Author's Response: Kenny, I'm sorry it's taken over a month to respond to this thoughtful and detailed review. My start to the year has been a nightmare and mid-March on through last week was absolutely the worst of it. In any event, I want you to know that the delay does not in any way diminish my appreciation for it.

Your reaction to the first James and Lily interaction in the story is exactly as I'd hoped it would be. I wanted it to be something that readers could react to positively, but also something that could underscore how deep the fissure between the two is at present. You're absolutely on point about James feeling some jealously toward Lionel as well, which is something of an uncharacteristic feeling for him.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and the characterizations! Thanks again for the R&R!


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Review #12, by 800 words of heaven Sharpened

7th February 2016:
Heya! I always say that I'll be back soon, but then I disappear for months on end. But this story is just so wonderful that it keeps bringing me back!

I really admire the way you characterise minor canon characters. Slughorn reads very true to what we know of him from the books, including his relationship with Lily. So wonderful.

I really enjoy the brief glimpses we get of Sirius and Lily together. I can't remember if I've mentioned this before, but because Sirius and Lily are so close in canon, I'm super excited to see their relationship develop in that direction over the (hopefully still significant number of) remaining chapters of Evolution.

Sirius and James' conversation was interesting. I liked the way you mixed politics and James' possible love life so seamlessly. The dialogue flowed very naturally. I was worried for a moment that Sirius would forget to address the "James and Lily" situation, but you brought it all back full circle very nicely indeed. It was also nice to see another side of Sirius; someone who cares for his friend, and wants to fight in the war, and thinks astutely about the opinions of the student body. It was a very subtle form of character development, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of the sort in the future - for all the characters, and not just Sirius.

This was a wonderful chapter, as always. And, as always, I'll see you again in the grey box at the end of the next one :)

Author's Response: Hello again! I'm glad you came back! Your feedback is always so great.

As far as length, yes, there will DEFINITELY be a substantial number of remaining chapters. I've obviously posted a few since this one, but I'm imagining as of now that it probably won't be done until the 75+ chapter range.

I'm glad you actually enjoyed the James-Sirius conversation. I definitely wanted to use it partly to continue to address the politics in play (not just with the war, but even with his friendship with Sirius who, though he gets closer to Lily later (and has started a wee bit), is not exactly fired up about the idea of James and Lily being together for a variety of reasons - some genuine, some selfish. But I had hoped that it would also show, as you picked up, that however he may behave publicly, Sirius is, even pre-Order and pre-Azkaban, much more thoughtful and determined than people tend to give him credit for. He's still flawed certainly as we know, but yes, he can be quite...serious...too :p

Thanks for R&R-ing!


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Review #13, by Dan Honest

30th January 2016:
This story has been brilliant. It seems as I've been thrown into a different bur the same hogwarts world as the books in Harry's time.
Hope you continue and can't wait to read the next one.
Thanks
Dan

Author's Response: Thanks for the kind feedback Dan! I definitely plan on continuing and have one more scene to write of Chapter 52 before it gets posted!

I greatly appreciate your reading and reviewing!


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Review #14, by august Honest

23rd January 2016:
I've been following this story since the very beginning and although you really tested my patience, I must say it was worth the wait! Can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks for following along so faithfully and being patient with me! I hope to have another chapter posted soon!

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Review #15, by Alex Honest

12th January 2016:
Oh my gosh this story is so good and incredibly captivating I haven't been able to stop reading. I am super excited for your next update I hope its soon!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading, Alex! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and I really appreciate the review! I'm hoping to have the next chapter up this week (if not tonight) so stay tuned.

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Review #16, by Really? Mitigating Damages

12th January 2016:
I loved this fic but I think this is the end for me. The cover story was weak but really only because Dumbledore's actions were so weak. Dumbledore might have been odd but he had a grasp of strategy and tactics well beyond the even very sharp people. This Dumbledore though makes strategic blunders that even a child wouldn't make. Part of me wonders if it isn't a Death Eater under Polyjuice so bad is the current decision making. Thank you for the chapters I enjoyed and good luck with the rest of your work.

Author's Response: I'm sorry that Dumbledore's reaction here and the subsequent efforts by James and Lily to respond to it have driven you off the entire story. Since I promised to address the strategy behind Dumbledore's actions in this review instead of the previous one though, I'll try to do so now.

I have to say, respectfully, that I think Dumbledore repeatedly demonstrates in canon that he is incredibly permissive of rule-breaking at Hogwarts and does very little within its walls to protect the students from other influences aside from the occasional pointed speech. Most notably, he's incredibly reluctant to act without true evidence of what transpired, which here, is arguably nothing, except the curfew violation that was already reported to and "dealt with" by Slughorn. He confirms the non-punishment to James and Lily in order to enable them to prepare themselves for dealing with the rumors and questions as best they can - a reality they address in their debate over what the appropriate response is.

Further, as he is in canon, Dumbledore here is concerned with a grander picture and isn't afraid to take risks to do it. He isn't going to jeopardize his own position and continued presence at Hogwarts by irritating incredibly influential people (see the commentary by the Slytherins in the previous chapter - just because these are "baddies" doesn't mean they don't have a legitimate point) when he has zero evidence of any truly egregious wrongdoing. He'd rather create an opportunity for the two students he trusts to lead their classmates to construct an environment where the body coalesces against the kind of behavior that is being contemplated in the late-night meeting. If this plays out as he hopes, it enables him greater ability to deal with the war outside the walls of the castle and gather opposition that will be instrumental in the war - and it enables him to see what James and Lily, two students he thinks could be a key part of the future of that opposition, are really made of.

Ultimately, it appears we have different perceptions of that possibility. Personally, I find the strategy workable and the cover plausible enough because ultimately, no one but the students there truly know what was going on - and even James and Lily don't really KNOW. Obviously WE know because the implication is there and we know what happened later, but the characters don't. Just as the Slytherins are right that the response is constrained by how influential their parents are (see one Draco Malfoy), James is right that the Slytherins involved are constrained in their ability to be truly overt in their actions and declarations yet. In a world at war some are already decided, their opinions and allegiances unchanging, others are there for the taking and this is merely the beginning of a battle for hearts and minds at Hogwarts.

In the end, I can't persuade you to believe other than you do, but I'd propose that in looking at the facts from a real-time perspective Dumbledore's actions aren't so awful and Lily and James aren't really standing as naked in front of the crowd as they are in front of readers.

I appreciate the positive sign off, and I'm glad you were able to enjoy some of the story at any rate.


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Review #17, by Really? The Prince's Path

12th January 2016:
Sorry but letting the Slytherins go is stupid from every angle. He's given de facto approval of their actions and reinforced the idea of that the Slytherins are right both about the weakness of the good side and about their deserving preferred treatment over "lesser" people. In addition is completely destroyed the Heads ability to do any part of their job and any respect they might have with people who haven't picked a side. Dumbledore is doing a better job of promoting Voldemort's rise than the Slytherins.

Author's Response: I'm sorry that you're disappointed by Dumbledore's reaction to the situation. We'll have to agree to disagree about its relative stupidity. I believe writing Dumbledore properly is major challenge for any writer not named J.K. Rowling because his actions are not always understood immediately as they happen, but have to have an underlying strategy to them. I'll address that strategy in more detail in responding to your remaining review.

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Review #18, by nevergrowinup Honest

11th January 2016:
Ahh!! I love your story and this chapter was perfect!! Can't wait for the next one :-)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind feedback! Positive feedback like yours keeps me going so I'll try to get a new chapter up soon for you!

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Review #19, by princesslily_36 Ain't No Sunshine

7th January 2016:
Hey Kevin!

You said Jily in your status and I just had to stop by! I love the beginning, and what it promises to lead to. I'll definitely be an ardent reader!

Forgive my super short review, I'm heavily drunk with sleep and my bed is too inviting! I'll check out the other chapters on my way to work in the morning!!

Can't wait!
Ysh

Author's Response: Thanks for stopping by Ysh! I love reviews of all kinds, especially the nice ones so there's nothing to forgive as far as I'm concerned. I hope you continue to enjoy it as you keep reading!

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Review #20, by Minnie Honest

7th January 2016:
AH! YAAAS! FINALLY! HUZZAH HURRAH!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the moment! Thanks so much for reading!

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Review #21, by nott theodore Reunions

28th December 2015:
Hi again, Kevin!

Uh-oh, I'm a bit worried by this chapter, purely because so much of it seemed relatively normal and calm and I'd been expecting something dramatic to happen. There's also no real mention of Katie here... I'm so intrigued about what's going to happen! Especially with your author's note - I feel like it's not going to be great for Katie and James...

In answer to your questions in your author's note, I actually really like Grace. She definitely seems to me like the sort of person that would appeal to Sirius, especially with the way that she doesn't judge him based on his background and his family; that's one reason that I can definitely believe that Sirius would be romantically interested in a Muggle. Muggles don't know anything about his family background and he can reinvent himself to an extent, so to speak - not denying who he is completely (within the bounds of the Statute, of course) but also moving away from the chains that have weighed him down since he was born. It must feel really freeing for him to be able to break free from that. At the same time, I kind of imagine that Sirius is the sort of person who would be attracted to a Muggle because it wasn't "allowed" - with the fact that we see the posters on his bedroom wall, for example - and so Grace fits into that category.

Grace does seem like a really interesting character though, and I can imagine her being a good match for Sirius since she doesn't treat him any differently and she's very intelligent and witty, and very willing to answer back. They're on an equal footing in a way. I'll be really interested to see if they do write to each other in the future and if it actually goes anywhere, especially with what's happening outside Hogwarts with the war.

As a tiny Brit-pick, we don't usually refer to any education after the age of 18 as "school" - since she's going to Cambridge, it would be "university" or "uni".

I felt a bit sorry for Lily when she was talking to her friends about marriages and things - even though they don't mean anything by it, there's still something which singles her out as being Muggle-born and kind of separates her from some of the things that have been happening. I thought that section segued really well into the scene with Grace and Sirius though.

I'm intrigued to see what the boys come up with for their final year prank and whether they actually manage to go ahead with it; it was great to see a scene with the Marauders again since it's been a little while since we saw the friends together.

This was another great chapter, and I hope that I can come back soon and keep catching up a bit more!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Katie's not the character you're looking for, Sian. -waves hand like Obi Wan- :p

First off, thank you for the brit-pick. I am always looking for these nuggets to make things more authentic - and it feels especially important for this high class, well-educated character - so thank you thank you!

It seems that you and I are on a similar wavelength with Sirius. Though my rationale was primarily the freedom from expectation or prejudice in terms of a muggle's appeal to him, you're quite right about the rebellious aspect of it too. I certainly think if things had played out differently in his life, Sirius would have loved nothing more than to shove his rejection of his parents' values in their face again by marrying a muggle or muggle-born (though for the 'freedom reasons' above I think a muggle would be more likely).

Beyond that though, I'm glad you liked Grace. I definitely wanted her to be able to go toe to toe with him because whether he actually recognizes this aspect of it or not yet, he needs a partner who's going to buck him and not just let him get away with being thoughtless or dismissive or hide behind humor like he likes to do. The ill-fated bit with Renee was the first hint at that idea, but the issue there was that she is: (1) magical and (2) too abrasive. Being forced to play the social games befitting a high society girl like herself for most of her life, Grace is much more capable of pressing him (or even landing a blow) more cleverly (almost politely) and thus preventing his hackles from getting raised to the point of a communication shut-down.

Thanks again for the awesome and super-detailed reviews! Glad you're still enjoying the story!


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Review #22, by nott theodore Table Talk

28th December 2015:
Hi Kevin! It's been far too long since I properly got to catch up with this story but I have a little time at the moment and when better to stop by than to leave a couple of late Christmas gifts? :D

This was a really great chapter, although the ending has me pretty worried about what's going to happen in the immediate chapters... whatever happens, I don't think it's going to bode well for James and Katie's relationship. And even though I love James and Lily together, I don't want to see Katie in pain or see James and Katie breaking up because of something like this...

I thought you wrote the meeting between James's parents and Katie really well - I loved the little bits of awkwardness that you wove into the scene and they were so true for what it's like when you first meet your significant other's parents. There are so many things going on in the first meeting that really affect the dynamic of what's going on and I thought you captured that really well.

The opening scenes, when James was asking his parents not to be too touchy-feely with each other and not embarrass him in front of Katie really helped to show how much he cares about her, I think. It's clear that he wants her to feel welcome and not uncomfortable with his family's brand of humour, and he's really excited to have his parents get to know someone who's become so important to him.

The meeting was great, as well. Katie was herself and it was so sweet to see her getting to meet Beatrice and Francis and the four of them talking about different things - she certainly has influenced James's behaviour in a way that's very much more positive than not, and sets up for him then going on to be mature enough for Lily later, I imagine. It's not all Katie - I think that he needs to take some credit himself - but she's certainly driven the change.

The contrast between the majority of this chapter and then the final scenes was really marked, and I think it worked really well to have an impact on the reader. We'd been enjoying this happy scene and then suddenly we get brought down with Katie, seeing the way that the war can touch people even when they're not thinking about it constantly and not an obvious target; it really brought home the realities of the war and I felt so sorry for Katie and her family in those moments. Now I'm just worried about what's going to happen next - ending the chapter on a cliffhanger like this one makes me think that there might be something quite dramatic coming up for Katie and James...

Sian :)

Author's Response: :p Don't even with this "far too long" business! I told you many moons ago I was going to catch up on Jigsaw and I'm nowhere near.

Anyhow, I'm really glad to hear that you enjoyed the family dynamic that surrounded "meeting the parents" for Katie. I think capturing Katie's thoughts and feelings probably made me the most nervous about it, but it's good you thought that it worked!

Indeed, the contrast is very important ;) While I refuse to go further than this, the fact that such a successful and in its own small way monumental moment in their relationship is immediately followed by a dark (and abrupt) spectre is absolutely by design...


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Review #23, by 800 words of heaven Open Season

26th December 2015:
Hello! It's been a ridiculously long time since I read Evolution but since I started reading it during the holiday season, I thought it would be an apt time to return.

Ah! I've missed Marlene and Alana! It was really nice to see them talking about something other than boys. Lily came off a bit like a robot with no feelings, but clearly her friends know she loves them and will miss them the next year. And the end scene with Sirius and the Quidditch magazine made me chuckle.

There's some really wonderful moments in the first couple of scenes with James. Your love and understanding of the machinations of sports is very apparent in the first few lines, and Peter is an actual gem when he's dissing Sirius for being the "vice-captain" - words I thought I'd never use to describe Peter Pettigrew.

I'm really pleased with the way Lily's behaving when she and James are on patrol. She's very understanding but still firm when she's talking with the Hufflepuff first years. It seems a lot closer to the image I have of Lily in my head, where she's more mature and balanced than she is at this point. It's lovely to see her move in that direction.

James finally speaking about what's bothering him is also some unexpected character development. For all that I think of him further along his arc than Lily, this scene highlighted that he's never actually been very open with his feelings to other people - at least not verbally. I'm hoping this forms part of the basis of their friendship.

This was a really wonderful chapter! I'll see you at the end of the next one :)

Author's Response: Howdy! Thanks so much for returning and the detailed review!

Yes...hopefully once I actually finish (which I had been hoping to do by the end of the year, though that's obviously not happening now) I can do the re-writes to make more serious conversations the norm and flesh them out a little more.

Though here Lily was obviously a bit distracted and subsequently irritated, I would say she definitely gets into this mood when she's ruffled or is trying to avoid something - particularly admitting something. Almost a defense mechanism for her as if - "if I act like I just don't care about this/you, it/you will go away." :p You'll get to see it make a return in the latest chapter before it gives way toward the end if you keep reading ;)
And yes, another subject of the edits will be showcasing more of this Lily earlier on, because though I do think she's quite strict prior to her exposure to James as a rule, her kindness needs to show through more than it does at present.

Indeed, this is sort of the final, pre-relationship step in James's maturation - being willing to open up. As you've probably seen, Lily's not the best at it either (no coincidence), but as they spend more and more time together, both of them start to come around more (hmm...).

And I'm glad you didn't miss Peter getting one in on Sirius! So many people have Peter as Sirius's constant whipping post (in terms of jokes) and while I think there's definitely truth in that, I also think Peter got his jabs in on occasion or Sirius wouldn't respect him as a friend.

Thanks for the detailed feedback and the kind words!


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Review #24, by Kacy Full Moon

24th December 2015:
Such a good story, I hope you get around to the next chapter soon!! :

Author's Response: Thanks for the R&R Kacy! I actually just posted Chapter 50 this afternoon, so I hope you enjoy it! Merry Christmas!

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Review #25, by BellaLestrange87 Ain't No Sunshine

3rd December 2015:
Hi Kevin! This is for Day 3 of the Advent Calendar on the forums.

I really like your portrayal of James here. I love how fair and kind he is towards Tinka, treating her like another member of the family instead of cruelly like many other people would have done.

I also like how you portrayed James' feelings towards Lily. It's interesting to see how he's simply joking around and bantering, instead of being head-over-heels obsessed. I also like the fact that his interest in her - or change of feelings, I suppose - was due to his bewilderment at just how fierce and assertive she was. It's a nice change of pace, and very different from many other Jilys I've read.

I really enjoyed this, and hopefully I'll be back soon to leave some more reviews.

~Olivia

Author's Response: Howdy Olivia! Thanks so much for picking me out to review!

I'm glad you liked James. I definitely wanted to do something a bit different with him (this story also basically doubles as my Jily/Marauders Era head canon) and I've just never bought into the idea that he asked her out so many times out of being head-over-heels crazy for her, partly because I don't see him as getting too hung up on a particular girl and partly because I think it makes more sense with his prankster character and their fractious relationship for it to all have been to irritate her.

Thanks again for the R&R and all the kind words!


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