Reading Reviews for Evolution
352 Reviews Found

Review #1, by insertcreativeusername The End of the Line

21st January 2018:

It looks like I'm going to have to force myself to not write a review for every. single. chapter. Which is so hard considering their bloody amazing!

In the first chapter, you proved that you could write James' POV like a dream, and in this, you've proven your skills at writing Lily's POV. I particularly loved this chapter because, most obviously it was written spectacularly and every word had my rapt attention, but also because I've never been the biggest Snape fan.

Actually, that's the under statement of the year, I am a huge Snape Hater. This chapter, and Lily's letter summed up everything I hated about her friendship with him. Their friendship was toxic, and Lily only ever got hurt in return for her kindness displayed to him, and the fact that people can believe they could be more than friends? It's preposterous.

I've always stressed this point, that Lily didn't end her friendship over Snape just because he called her a racial slur, she ended it because she was doing what was best for the both of them. It was best for her to stay away from him, or the dark person he had become, and it was best for him to let her go, because that was a lost cause that would only bring him more pain.

To me, the way you crafted Lily's feelings on this matter and her letter was beautifully done, and as far as I'm concerned, canon, lol.

I'm really enjoying this story, super lovely job!


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Review #2, by insertcreativeusername Ain't No Sunshine

21st January 2018:
Wotcher, mate!!

It's been ages since I've read any J/L stories, I've mostly been sticking with one-shots, but when I saw this, I knew I had to read it.

I am thrilled to say, I don't regret reading this for a second! The way you captured James' thoughts and personality in general is really spectacular, you have immense talent my friend.

Based on the hints you dropped in this chapter, James isn't "automatically" in love with Lily, and that's GREAT because really that idea is overdone, and frankly, dull. Your author's note says their romance will be a slowburn, which is so perfect because I honestly always believed it would be! In "Snape's Worst Memory" Lily seemed to really, genuinely hate him, and James was definitely a douche, people tend to forget things like that don't change over night.

I am Jily trash, and I think your going to capture the essence of their love splendidly and provide justice to the pairing! I am so pumped for this! Huge congratulations on becoming a Dobby Finalist, btw :)

Much love, Zhenya.

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Review #3, by Claire Evergreen Ain't No Sunshine

27th April 2017:
Hey, Kevin! Here for CTF ;)

Ooo, yes Marauders! This is possibly one of my favorite eras to read, but that being said, I also have more than a few extremely strict headcanons of my own, especially when it comes to James, who is the light of my life. That being said, I do really like your interpretation of James, even if it is rather different from my own. He seems more serious, though definitely not in a bad way, than I picture him, but tbh, it works really well for your writing style. I like that even though he is a little less carefree than I imagined him, he's still the same person we see in the brief glimpses we get in canon.

I also adore how you've set the Jily relationship up. I myself tend to go with the interpretation that James had always fancied Lily from day one and he was just ridiculously persistent, but I think I like the idea of a prank better. It lines up really well with what we know about him, it works a heck of a lot better with your characterization, AND it sets up a way more interesting plot dynamic. Plus, I love that you're having them date other people first. I do love a good slow burn!

I'm so mad I never read this before, but I'm glad I got to start!


Author's Response: Howdy Claire! Sorry it's taken like...three (3) months to reply, but here I am and still so appreciative of your review.

For me, James is definitely more serious than meets the eye. While he's absolutely fun-loving and laid-back, social contact and being in public tends to fuel that side of him while one-on-one or alone, he tends to get a bit more introspective.

Re: the slow burn, I think it's so critical for James and Lily because I see Lily as (for a lot of reasons) being very serious and analytical and I just don't think she'd trust or even be open to a relationship with James without seeing him be serious with anyone. Lily's relationship will be a little more about showing her she may not want what she thinks she wants.

Thanks so much again for the review!

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Review #4, by merlins beard Ain't No Sunshine

27th April 2017:
Hey Kevin :) I've got the honour of checking if the flag is buried in your AP in this round :)
And I'm very glad I get to do this because this story already looks like so much fun.
I can't believe I've only read some oneshots of yours before. I grew out of my Marauders Phase a long time ago, but going back always feels like coming home, somehow.
This is a very interesting start... So Gryffindor lost the Quidditch cup, that has to gnaw at James a lot. It's certainly not good for his ego...
I don't know if James really likes Lily yet but it certainly seems like there's something there. I mean the whole "everything went downhill from May" thing - it's got to be because of a girl, because what else would a 15 (?) year old guy be interested in...
I love how James treats their hose elf with respect and kindness! It really shows that heís a nice person, on the whole. Itís really sweet how he compliments her cookingÖ
The one thing that I find really intriguing is whatís going on with Jamesí dad and also what James thinks is going on with his dad. If heís just sitting in his office for hours, surely thereís something going on??
I hope Iíll get to read more of this tonight 😝
Xoxo Anja

Author's Response: Howdy Anja! Thanks for this review and I'm sorry I'm so late responding to it :(

As you might expect, James's Quidditch fixation will only grow as most of the story progresses, though his seriousness about the sport will reveal itself as being more than just about winning and losing.

I think it's safe at this point to say that James is in like with Lily Evans. Though I don't view him as having ALWAYS liked her, I do think he has always respected her and it's this flashpoint that turns it into more because her sharpest criticism and his reflection finally makes him realize that there's something to her remarks beyond defending Snape or being rule-abiding.

Truthfully, I wrote he whole Dad bit more mysterious in retrospect than I intended. The only story is that his dad tends to shut himself up in there and though they have a good relationship, it's somewhere he's still unsure about "interrupting" him in. His treatment of Tinka is evidence of his parents' influence though - I've always imagined them as having the trappings of a traditional pureblood family, but not the superior mentality...a progressive pureblood family if you will.

Thanks again for the review!

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Review #5, by ANightingaleInAGoldenCage Ain't No Sunshine

26th April 2017:
Here for CTF!

It's a good openingchapter! It gives James plenty of time to reflect on itself and his behaviour and what has been going on and why it was exactly that the end of the year wasn't going as swimmingly as he hoped it'd be. It's a really nice setup for what we know what's going to happen in later years, and I actually love the fact that this is from James' POV as it is, as there are so many fics who show this kind of transgession from Lily's POV. It makes for one interesting story already.
I also like how you manage to incorporate such James like things too. Like, it's the fifth year, or well, the end of it, and while there must be some kind of war going on already, for now his mind is still mostly at Quidditch and that gives him some kind of innocence there too. I don't know if that was intentional, but even if it wasn't, it's a great thing to have regardless because you'd see him grow up even more than you otherwise would. It's refreshing.
And then the little things that show just how rich James is. It's little mentions, but even still you get the vibe already, and that's even without counting in the fact that they have a house-elf, which is a dead giveaway as it is. But more like the family portraits and everything. Well done!

Author's Response: Howdy Ineke!

James's concerns are definitely deliberate. While I confess to them also being in large part a telling-instead-of-showing recap of where his head's at, they're also a byproduct of his insulated status as both a student and a pureblood (though his family has less because they'd be considered "blood traitors").

I also definitely wanted to start with James because Lily's stance is pretty clear on the incident I feel and James is the main one (1) who needs (most transparently) to grow. Though I've actually merged C1 and C2 from here into C1 (thus including Lily obviously) on the edited version.

Thanks for the review!

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Review #6, by manno_malfoy Ain't No Sunshine

26th April 2017:
Hello, I'm here for the CTF.

I loved being in James's head in this chapter, brief as it may have been. I'm intrigued by your choice of the beginning of summer as a starting point... I mean, James Potter, alone, without his three best friends and all the mayhem? What could possibly happen? That said, I did thoroughly enjoy this chapter and James's reminiscing about the events of the previous year.

His apparent bitterness towards Snape was beyond amusing. I loved how he bragged about all his multi-tasking and that hexing Snape was right on there. That said, it was interesting to see how he really doesn't have any solid reasons for his despise for Snape (other than the fact that Lily only has time for him), and how he certain he is that Snape is evil. And of course, because he says that, it doesn't even cross his mind that it could count as bullying or that it could only push Snape farther into the 'darker side'.

I also found it interesting that James is both smitten by and frustrated with Lily. It's so obvious that he doesn't really understand her. I'd love to see what you'll do next with the pair of them!

Oh, and I found James's interaction with the house elf was sweet and respectful.

I hope I can return to this story after the CTF and give it a proper reading because it seems great so far, and I really enjoyed the way you've written this chapter!

Author's Response: Howdy! First off, I'm very sorry it's taken so long to respond :(

You've definitely found part of the core of James's moral alignment, which is, I think, pretty close to Neutral Good. He justifies his conduct toward Snape on the basis that he believes him to be evil because of his propensity toward the Dark Arts. What's interesting about that to me is that I wonder whether absent the bullying, Lily's friendship might have indeed directed him away from that and the bitterness and resentment that seem to fuel it (at least in part).

I would certainly agree that James doesn't understand Lily deeply, though I do think he actually understands some things about her better than she understands herself (and her for him - though she is more outspoken about that :P).

Thanks for the kind review!

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Review #7, by Marshal Ain't No Sunshine

1st April 2017:
Okay in reading your author notes, I LOVE that you are doing a slow burn and being realistic with their relationship and showing them with other people. I LOVE realism in my stories so thank you for planning to do this! I can't express how much I love that.

With that said, you have a very nice start here, you give a good picture of James' mentality. I like how he is very much like a teenager. So many people write him more as an adult when really he is a kid/teen with teen woes and concerns the petty things in life are his issues and you have depicted this here. Sure there is a war soon to be brewing but for a 16 year old that is still far off. So thank you again for adding realisim to this story, focusing on Lily annoying him, enjoying to prank her and hex Snape and in some ways his biggest concern on some levels being Quidditch results.

I have to say though, I wonder about James' dad it seems to me that you may be alluding to something more going on here and I'm interested on some level to find out what that is. Still great start to what is going to be a lengthy journey but I'm sure well worth the time!

Author's Response: Howdy again!

For me (though I think I'm in the distinct minority) the only way Jily works is a slow burn. Perhaps that's because I reject that James was really so in love with her that he'd really ask her out every day like a hopeless sap, which...while irritating as all get out to her is also sort of humiliating for him over time and because I reject that Lily always actually had a soft spot for him, but I'm glad you're on board with the slow burn! And that you like the characterization of James thus far!

I wish I could say that I was planning some epic thing involving James's dad, but it actually just turns into a conversation they have later :P He's just fishing for what his dad's been working on to try and see when's "a good time" since Mr. Potter's a busy, important guy who doesn't leave work at the office.

Thanks again for the detailed review!

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Review #8, by MalfoysAngel Ain't No Sunshine

1st April 2017:
Let me start off by saying that now I have the song stuck in my head. It's a great song by the way.

This is a great start and set up the story wonderfully. Most of the time in Marauder's era stories, we see James trying to win Lily over (Which I'm sure will happen later) but often, we don't get to see the exact moment when things change for James so I'm glad that you decide to include this in this chapter.

I can actually picture James in his room donning a dressing gown like a southern gentleman (even if he is British)...maybe it's just because I'm tired.

I really wish I had decided to read this sooner because I didn't know what I was missing until now. This really is shaping up to be an amazing story and I can see why it's so popular. I can't gush enough. I will have to force myself to remember to come back to this when I have a break from homework and read as much as I can when I can.

Seriously Kevin, James is amazing so far and I can't wait to continue reading to see how he's going to interact with Lily and woo her later on down the line.

Author's Response: Howdy Tasha! Thanks a zillion for the review!

I'm glad you liked the intro! I am working on editing the beginning for - several reasons - but it's always encouraging to hear another voice that likes this initial taste and particularly James as he's the co-MC and I've taken what I think is a touch of a slightly different perspective on him.

Thanks again for the review!

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Review #9, by Robert Pitch Black

14th January 2017:
Incredible story, i've loved reading every chapter! Hope you update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks Robert! A lot has been getting in the way of writing recently, but I promise I AM still working on the story! I hope to update it within the month with a view to finding my way to the finish by the end of 2017!

Thanks for R&R-ing!

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Review #10, by marauderfan Progress

7th January 2017:
Sooo... Lily may be trying to give Lionel time and not judge the day too quickly, but I'm ready to judge. I think Lily's first impressions were spot on - that Lionel's choice of location was uninventive. I think he as a person is uninventive. He's predictable and by the book and that's why Lily likes him, but that's also what she'll grow tired of first. That's my prediction. I wouldn't go so far as to bet 10 Galleons on it but maybe 10 Knuts. Or 10 cents, whichever is less. :P

I can see why Lionel steers clear of numbers. After all, the most advanced math he learned was probably long division, and then he went to Hogwarts and left all math behind. For all Hogwarts sounds fun, it really would leave you with some holes in your education. /tangent

Marlene is so snarky and I love her. I hope to see more of Lily's friends in other context as well - I enjoyed seeing their excitement about Lily's date but I'd love to see them all in other settings, talking about music or philosophy or cats or whatever it is that they talk about when they're not discussing Lily's love life.

You do a really good job of getting into your characters' heads. James in particular here - how he really is trying to be a more mature, responsible person, but it's been so long since he did a really glorious prank and he misses it. He's definitely weighing his options here - still going with the prank but there seems a lot more thought put into how to not get caught this time, so he can spend time with his girlfriend instead of in detention.

'Liberate' a carriage. Yes, that's one way to put it :P

You know who else I love? Katie. I love that she is shrewd enough to see exactly what's going on, tells James honestly what she thinks about his 'amazing' plan, but she doesn't try to talk him out of something he's so excited about because she can tell it's important to him. And I think this was a really important moment for them, because James made a choice to trust her and let her in a little, and his reaction to her reaction says everything. I think he expected to get shut down, but she's chill about it and it's like he doesn't feel like he has to hide this side of himself. But it's not like he'll let this go to his head and pull pranks all the time again, because he realizes Katie is awesome and probably still wants to spend time with her instead of in detention. Anyway, that was a great moment for the two of them. I'm interested to see how her presence affects the other three Marauders and how/if she integrates into the group.

I'm really enjoying this story so far, especially the more I get to know the characters. Great work.

Author's Response: Like I said before...poor, dull Lionel :P

Marlene is definitely snarky and if you like that you'll like her later because she only gets snarkier from here on out. I will say that I definitely recognize the issue with the topics of conversation between Lily & Co. and they're a major subject of edits because I made the early story so James-centric that they didn't get the depth they deserved in the story so hopefully it will come off better later. It's not to say that they'll STOP talking about what they talk about here because at their age both guys and girls are talking a lot about each other I think ;) But it is less dominating of their discussions. I still need to add more ACTIVITIES for them I think, but we shall see. Hopefully it's being rectified well enough.

I'm glad you're liking Katie! It seems me and the folks from our community do like her while she tends to get a lot of hate from most of the anons who are chasing the Jily HARD by this point in the story. Just an interesting observation I've made. Tangent aside, you're absolutely right about this being a huge moment for them and I worried I overdramatized it a bit with James's inner thoughts, but it's reassuring to hear you thought it came across nicely and while there will be bumps in the road with the group, a BIG obstacle to falling HARD for Katie is definitely out of the way ;) And she won't mind that either.

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Review #11, by marauderfan Special Appointment

7th January 2017:
Lionel is basically the exact opposite of James. In fact, he seems pretty similar to Lily herself, the only difference being that she is more punctual... and a lot more interesting, though that may be just because I don't know Lionel as a character that well yet. :P

I love that the other Gryffindor girls took Katie in for a girls night to get her mind off things and give her some time where no one is gossipping about her. Also, the awkward moment between Lily and Katie felt very realistic, so kudos to you for that. Like, there was nothing malicious about it, just Lily speaking without thinking and then having to backtrack a bit. I honestly love the light this puts Lily in, because I think she has a tendency to be portrayed as too perfect sometimes (just in general in fic), but her potrayal here is something that a lot of people can probably relate to - I sure can. It humanizes her. Everyone says something without thinking sometimes, but it doesn't mean she isn't nice - after all, what she said afterwards was a nice and heartfelt apology that cleared the air a bit, and Katie took the whole thing pretty well anyway. They got off on the wrong foot, sure, but neither seems to bear the other any ill will. I'm interested to see how the relationship between those two girls develops as they get to know one another and whether or not they could actually be friends.

This was another great chapter!

Author's Response: Oh know Lionel. I feel bad for him in a way because I totally make him a whipping post when he's actually a good guy, if rather boring and clueless, but honestly he (and his relationship with Lily) exist to show her that dating someone "just like her" (which she does because she, internally unlike James, is arr- ahem...has a very high opinion of herself and her way of being) isn't the best idea and to also make clear that though she doesn't like certain ways of going about it, she's not the prude she's often made out to be in fic.

Ahh yes...Lily Evans puts her foot firmly in her mouth! As you've said she's very much not perfect even though canon (because of the perspective) and fic (often) idealize her. Though I've made Katie more of a known quantity in edits (because as one (1) reader rightly said, it's just straight up weird that they're in the same year and when Katie's introduced it's like they don't know each other - nonsense), but this bit of additional interaction is definitely the wrong foot. Katie's not the type to stress it or hold a grudge over it though and I'm interested to see what you think of the answer to your last comment.

Thanks again!

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Review #12, by marauderfan The Prince's Plot

7th January 2017:
I'm baaack for another review binge.

Snape POV! Oof, the fact that Snape even thinks about hurting Katie to get at James... such a low blow, but one I would absolutely believe him capable of.

His POV is perfectly written, though. The thing that stood out the most to me was the subtlety with how you conveyed Snape's arrogance, because he definitely is arrogant, but isn't as showy about it as, for example, James. But the way Snape thinks Slughorn is lazy and easy to mislead, and how he dismisses Katie based on seeing a mediocre offensive spell in DADA, it's so clear he doesn't see either of them as equals (or superiors, as Slughorn technically is), rather as beneath him. You never say it outright but it's there in the way he thinks about people and writes them off, and basically it's really well done.

I notice he thinks of Avery and Mulciber as 'associates'. Not friends. I don't know that there really is anyone he'd consider a friend, except maybe Lily. He also says he'll be in charge of the spells and just sends Mulciber and Avery to be on guard duty, essentially, because he doesn't trust them with important work - he's a perfectionist. You've really got him pegged.

I like how you portrayed his view of the Mudblood Incident, as well. It's very believable that he would regret saying that to Lily, but also still think Muggleborns are beneath him. To Snape, Lily is an exception, whereas to Lily, she sees herself as part of the Muggle-born community, I'd expect, and that's kind of the basis for that disconnect.

Basically I like your interpretation of Snape and I think this was definitely a worthwhile chapter. It's nice to get a look into other characters' heads for a bit! Awesome chapter. :)

Author's Response: Kristin! I have failed you horribly by being a BEYOND delinquent responder - not the person I used to be ( :( ), but I am finally here.

I'm really glad you thought I captured Snape well. He's a pretty nasty guy in my conception of him since I'm not a Snape apologist, but what you've described is the exact characterization I was aiming for. Some of these traits I will say I thought were very believable for Snape, but that I also wanted to include because I think beyond his magical talent and dexterity with loyalties, they're traits Voldemort would've recognized and valued which helps to explain his ascension to a very high level of the Death Eater hierarchy as a comparatively younger age.

I can't go far beyond the way you've nailed what I was going for with Snape unfortunately, but I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for R&R-ing!

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Review #13, by peaco33 Pitch Black

30th December 2016:
Thanks for the update. I like seeing Lily struggling with what she wants - James to like her and want to spend time with her but also not someone super clingy and interfering. I hope the concussion won't have too serious effects - is it something they can heal quickly with magic? Can't wait for more.

Author's Response: OOF. It's been dreadfully long hasn't it? I promise I'm still working on this bad boy - there's just a lot getting in the way at the moment. I'm glad you thought the struggle Lily was having was believable. Though it's especially true at this age, I think as people get older, they deceive themselves into thinking they don't worry about the same things and so I definitely wanted it there both as part of her growth and an element of universal human experience to inject.

Thanks for R&R-ing!

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Review #14, by quill2parchment One Day in November

28th December 2016:
I really enjoyed this chapter. Katie is such an easy to love character. I love that you are giving their relationship a fair coverage. I think it'll eventually allow the reader to see James as a character that is whole rather than just as a character who is part of a relationship... if that makes any sense hehe

Can't wait to to catch up and read the rest!

Author's Response: James/Katie is one (1) of my favorite aspects of this story. It's probably awful to say for a story that's ultimately James/Lily, but he was the one (1) I wanted to have a BIG serious relationship where he learns to take relationships seriously. As an OC I also happen to love Katie. I hope it pays off for you as you keep reading.

Thanks for R&R-ing!

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Review #15, by quill2parchment Hogwarts Bound

26th December 2016:
I really enjoyed this chapter! I like the friendship dynamics. You've managed to make them believable and age appropriate which isn't always an easy thing to do! Can't wait to read the rest!

Author's Response: That balance of believability and tackling tougher concepts at their age while they still...act their age is a struggle for sure. I'm glad you think I'm handling it alright!

Thanks for reading!

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Review #16, by quill2parchment Ain't No Sunshine

26th December 2016:
Great first chapter! I am intrigued!

Author's Response: Thanks for the R&R! Glad you enjoyed the beginning!

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Review #17, by Lucy Cascade: Part I

1st October 2016:
You need to continue this- can you email me at lucykoncar at gmail dot com (I had to put it like this because of the thing) when you post a new chapter?

Author's Response: Thanks so much Lucy! Once I get to updating again regularly I'll see what I can do. I promise it's still getting written - life has just really gotten in the way for awhile now.

I'm glad you're enjoying it.

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Review #18, by The Littlest Weasley Celebration

19th August 2016:
Another amazing chapter! I did not plan to review this one, but I have to because it was so fun to read.

The exchange between James and Lily about the flask was just perfect. [Okay, so I'm a big Jily fan. You caught me ;)] Really though, it was utterly wonderful and they both were in character in that extremely challenging-to-write sense where they were acting unlike themselves in the same way that real people sometimes do, without seeming actually out of character. (I'm not sure that makes sense. I hope you know what I mean.)

And then the convo with Remus. If this wasn't already obvious, I'm also a big Remus fan and I greatly enjoyed this conversation. REMUS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.

So fun. So, so fun. Yay!

yet again,
the Littlest Weasley

Author's Response: Oh man. Yeah...that was a scene wasn't it? It's one (1) I'll confess I wasn't exactly happy with before, but on re-read there wasn't a WHOLE lot I could edit about it. It ended up striking me as I tried to work with it as exactly what you described, people just taking different positions than normal and it throwing them both a bit.

And as you've said...Remus the Keen Observer of Human Interaction prevails once more!

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Review #19, by The Littlest Weasley Just a Game

19th August 2016:
Oh, this is definitely my favorite chapter so far! I loved the way you wrote the match. It's no easy feat to write Quidditch in a clear and engaging way, either. Nicely done.

James showed so much determination. Very in character, and it was great that Lily noticed it and was caught off guard.I think she's misjudged him rather badly. Then again, as Mr. Potter said, James doesn't let people see those parts of himself very often.

Lily aside, Katie is certainly showing herself to be compatible with James. hm

Long chapters are fine by me!

see you soon!
The Littlest Weasley

Author's Response: Quidditch! AHH. I have come to understand with this story and my short works for the HPFF United page how frustrated JKR got writing matches. I'm a sport fanatic but man...I'm no Matt Christopher or whoever it was who wrote that story about the B'nai Bagels and I can't pull this off repeatedly.

You're quite right about both Lily's misjudgment and though she's still more confused by his behavior and the traits she's seeing at this point she's seen something. I'm not sure whether my edits undermine that, but I'm hoping the way I've set it, it puts the onus more on Lily for missing/ignoring it.

You're also right about that compatibility piece...I'm interested in what you might think later about just where that goes ;)

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Review #20, by The Littlest Weasley Differing Opinions

19th August 2016:
Remus is always right. Or, almost always. Doesn't James know this by now??

anyway, our main man has gotten himself into quite a dilemma. I remember very clearly how it felt to come home from college and see my high school friends, and it was like the fit was different. That seems similar to how James is feeling. He is growing and changing and wanting to change, but the most important people in his life have expectations for how he's going to act, and he also wants to meet those. That's tough stuff and I'm glad you've brought it to light.

I adored the dialogue between the Marauders in this chapter.

Passin' it along,
The Littlest Weasley

Author's Response: Thank you! You're definitely right about the tension and it's something that gets exacerbated for a time. You can see that Remus is (perhaps stereotypically) the voice of reason who sees James making the right call where Sirius is both a bit more immature and selfish. They're a bit like the angel and devil on his shoulder :P Peter, for his part, gets jerked in a lot of different directions in their friend circle. He is on a slightly different standing (though not marginalized or just ripped on) in the group, but he's not dumb and I'm interested to see what you think of how his role in the group also...EVOLVES (corny, I realize)...particularly late in the story.

Thanks again for these wonderful reviews!

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Review #21, by The Littlest Weasley Hogwarts Bound

18th August 2016:
I'm back again!

I love this chapter! It was really exciting to meet the other Marauders. You wrote them so well. I am especially impressed with Peter. He can be challenging, but I completely believe this version of him as both a Marauder and a future traitor.

Now the boys think James is after this Katie girl. Hmmm. He doesn't seem opposed, but on the other hand he just spend so much thought into his interest in Lily. I suppose only time will tell what happens.

I didn't get a very strong sense of what Lily's friends are like, but I was happy to see Petunia and Potions discussed, as these are both important areas for Lily in canon.

I know I said this before, but I think the start of this story is great! You are surely your own worst critic!

Happy Pass It Along!
The Littlest Weasley

Author's Response: And so it is that you've seen some of the thorniness that needed edits! Lily AND her friends really came off as too one-dimensional to me in the first go and the connections and conversations seemed a bit shallow for my liking. But in the bulked up version, hopefully that concern is addressed.

Peter has an interesting cycle in this story, though most of it takes a long time to come up because doesn't get an enormous amount of POV play, but him being pretty tricky at this age I'm really glad to hear you thought he straddled his current and future roles well as a character here.

You'll just have to see what the deal becomes with Katie I suppose... :P

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Review #22, by The Littlest Weasley The End of the Line

18th August 2016:
Hello again, Kevin!

Lily ♥
I think it's almost impossible not to love her. You've done a brilliant job of conveying her thought process here. It shows both a logical side and a compassionate side to her, which seems very in line with canon.

It seems to me that this chapter presents the Lily/Sev friendship as a closed case, so to speak. It's all very final and well thought out. As I personally do not enjoy Snily, this is good news for the Little Weasley! (However, I realize my interpretation could be wrong.)

I noticed that this chapter felt very removed from the events being described. If you were to revise this chapter, what do you think about writing a scene where Snape comes to beg Lily's forgiveness? Just a little idea.

I enjoyed meeting your Lily, and I'm excited to read more.

Happy Pass It On Challenge!
The Littlest Weasley

Author's Response: Huzzah! You enjoyed Lily!

You're absolutely right that the friendship is a closed case, though of course her capacity for forgiveness will, I think, inevitably lead to some attempt at making peace even if they can't ever return to what was. Though she's known to be remarkably kind, Lily is also someone I see as quite stubborn on judgments she makes - something that makes her capable of shutting the door so hard so relatively suddenly and also serves as an obstacle to recognizing James's growth.

I definitely appreciate the suggestion and it's something I considered when editing here. Ultimately I went a different direction with the changes, but I think later in the story you'll get...well, not what you've mentioned exactly...but something similar.

Thanks again!

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Review #23, by The Littlest Weasley Ain't No Sunshine

18th August 2016:
Hello Kevin!

It's high time the Littlest Weasley stopped by to leave you a few reviews for the Pass It Along Challenge.

I know you haven't updated this for a bit, but it called to me anyway as a sort of magnum opus on your AP.

One thing I noticed immediately is the voice you give James. It isn't the usual, breezy and confident voice we usually see from him. He does come across as confident, but his inner narrative is sincere. He displays a capacity for growth and maturity here that is often ignored in his character until the moment when - POOF - he's suddenly the Man of Lily's Dreams. It's clear already that you're not looking to take any shortcuts as you develop his character. Kudos to you for that! *applauds*

I hadn't given much thought to the Potters having a house elf, but it makes sense. I like that James doesn't question the institution, but also treats Tinka with reasonable dignity. I think you've stuck a believable balance between a Malfoy-like attitude and a Hermione-like horror.

In your responses to other reviews, I see that you don't think that highly of the earlier chapters in this story. Frankly, I think you're being quite hard on yourself! There's always room for improvement, of course, but this is overall an effective first chapter. You've introduced us to James very effective by getting inside his head, and you've set up the conflict both as a Jily romance (with Snape as antagonist) and as a journey of personal growth for James.

Well done! I look forward to reading more.

~The Littlest Weasley

Author's Response: Well. You were so kind to leave me all these reviews and then I just up and started being a failure at responding. Here and now's as good a time and place as any to atone, right?

First, I love your comments about James. I'll admit to having a bit of a different conception about him as compared to a number of writers, but I've always seen James as quietly more thoughtful and serious than he lets on. Lily gives him the motivation to let that manifest more and though he struggles a bit (maybe not enough) with making it happen, the war, himself, and more keep him going in that direction and by the time it's time, he's ready.

I'm glad you enjoyed the start to the story! Though I've edited it elsewhere, most of my concern with the early going of the story is Lily's portrayal TBH and it's something I've tried to rectify by making it less exclusively James-centric.

On to the next response I owe you!

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Review #24, by xopurelyinnocentxo Sunrise

26th June 2016:
Hello! I recently begun reading your series, and I love it! It is so wonderfully sweet and real and I feel like I am growing with the characters as I read and feel their loves and sadnesses change with them. Thank you for writing your story. I am excited for more, but take your time and do it how you feel is right. That's always how the best stories are made.

Author's Response: Thank you very much!

I promise I am still working. It's been slow going for a variety of reasons (mostly work intensifying a lot), but it's coming back to reviews like this - even if I've left the unanswered for way too long - that reminds me however difficult to keep going!

The story WILL be told (and I hope to finish it by the end of the year - though I've said that before :P).

Thanks so much for R&R-ing!

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Review #25, by CamThomas10 Sunrise

20th May 2016:
Just found this story and I absolutely love it. It's amazing how you've managed to show all the different points of view. I'm impressed how lon you managed to hold off the James and Lily formal relationship but I think it will go very well, just hope there aren't to many hiccups along the way.
Please don't stop and just keep writing more because it's amazing!!!

Author's Response: Howdy Cam (or Thomas)!

Well...there was a time that I answered within forty-eight (48) hours. I'm ashamed to say that time was too long ago, but I want to respond to each and every reader and so I have finally arrived.

Though Evolution has been much more of a block for me lately for a variety of reasons, if you're still around I want to reassure you that I AM still writing this. There IS a reason I haven't switched it to abandoned - and I NEVER will.

In any event, I'm glad you found the slow burn believable and I hope you'll enjoy how the relationship unfolds over time as well!

Thanks for R&R-ing!

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