34 Reviews Found

Review #1, by kassandra466 A Lecture and Sneaking Out

6th September 2014:
Okay James is perfect, he reminds me so much of my best friend Adam. With his eloquence and ability to always make you feel better about your problems, even when you try to shake them off. Anyway it just made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, since Adam lives in Ottawa I dont see him often. Anyway I am getting off track, thank you for another beautiful chapter. I am so enjoying your story.

Author's Response: Oh gosh, I am totally in love with James too and am super jealous you have someone like him in your life. Can I steel him from you ;) You are seriously the sweetest person ever and your reviews have made my day ^.^

 Report Review

Review #2, by kassandra466 A Night Spent Playing Hookey

6th September 2014:
I liked it, it was the perfect bite sized chapter, youre doing an awesome job and I cant wait to see where you take this.

Author's Response: Ee! I'm glad you liked it :) It wasn't all that long but I felt like it was just the right place to end it. Thanks again!!

 Report Review

Review #3, by kassandra466 A Boy

6th September 2014:
That was lovely. Your conversations were a tiny bit forced but they came out rather natural. Youre doing an awesome job and I am so enjoying your fic.

Author's Response: Yeah, I will probably go back and edit them just to make them a little bit better. But I'm glad your still chugging along and still loving it. It means a lot :P

 Report Review

Review #4, by kassandra466 A Surprise

6th September 2014:
Another stunning chapter, I am so enjoying your fic and your OCs, they are starting to have great dynamics. Keep it up

Author's Response: *blushes* You are too kind! I'm glad you are liking the dynamics between them. They were a little hard to get through but I do like the outcome myself ^.^

 Report Review

Review #5, by kassandra466 An Introduction

6th September 2014:
I am really enjoying this, its incredibly relatable and I cant wait to see where it goes.

Author's Response: Yay! Thanks for the review! Glad you are liking it!

 Report Review

Review #6, by R o s m e r t a A Lecture and Sneaking Out

4th September 2014:
WHAT IS THIS SORCERY?!?!? (And by sorcery, I mean AMAZING STORY.) First of all I am fully convinced that G is my kindred spirit - she's from the South, drives a Jeep Wrangler, loves ASOIAF, listens to country (sidenote: if you are referring to Hootie's version of "Wagon Wheel" I will forever disown you), reads the best HPFF fics (I mean, Hormones, am I right?), etc. We are the SAME PERSON and she's living the dream even though she doesn't realize it yet. I really like James because he's super sweet but still fun and G's interactions with him are so easy and super believable. I think if I squint I can kinda see where you're going with their similar-issues thing and I'm totally into it. I'm also really interested to see what happens for her to figure it all out and whether she completely fangirls or thinks she's losing it or what. I WANT MORE OF EVERYTHING AND LESS OF YOU NOT UPDATING. Ok sorry for yelling. I just can't even with you right now. Obsessed. xoxo Blair

 Report Review

Review #7, by Chaz Corner A Lecture and Sneaking Out

29th August 2014:
Finally! OMG, one of the best chapters, definitely. Next time, don't take four months to update next time, kay?

~ Chaz

Author's Response: You have no idea how happy this review has made me :P I thought everyone had given up on it as the update has taken so long. Yeah, whoops, sorry about that. I knew it had been a while but when I finally checked my stories and saw how long it had been, I immediately opened my google drive and started the new chapter haha. Hopefully it won't take that long again but I'm glad you liked this chapter so much. Thank you for being such a dedicated reader!!

 Report Review

Review #8, by Lizzy A Night Spent Playing Hookey

26th June 2014:
This story is so good. It's one of the most unique stories I've ever seen on HPFF. so yeah I love the relationships and the plot and G is hilarious! And sorry this is so short but I'm so busy I shouldn't even be writing it! Please update soon!
~Lizzy

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I've been hitting a little rough patch on the creative front with this story as of late so I've been quite discouraged about the story. However, reviews like these are what make me want to continue writing, so thank you :) Hopefully some idea of where I want it to head will strike me soon so I can update. Keep your finger crossed for me!
xoxo
Mary


 Report Review

Review #9, by navyfail An Introduction

6th May 2014:
Hello! I'm here from the BvB battle.

The idea of this story really intrigues me. A muggle girl obsessed with harry potter who finds harry potter fanfiction and makes it her home is really unique and interesting. This is a short first chapter but a a good starting one.

G seems great so far and her love for harry potter makes her even better. The counting down til the end of school is very realistic since almost every student does that in school (even I do that haha). I get why she didn't tell the truth to Paige but at the same time it makes me wonder how deep their friendship goes. It is totally understandable why she had to lie but at the same time lying to your friends isn't the best feeling.

Great introductory chapter! It makes me want to keep reading. This is a nice start to the story. I would like to know G more. (What does G stand for? I'm curious.) And I can already tell that the plot is going to start soon. Good luck with future chapters and happy writing!!

~Sama
(Team Blue)

Author's Response: Thank you! Being a potterhead just makes a person all the more attractive I think ;). I think that is a good point about their friendship, but I also think that G is not a very open person, especially if it is about something that many people seem to be embarrassed about- although they shouldn't be. Glad you liked it! Oh, and G stands for Georgia :). Thanks again for the lovely review!
xoxo
Mary


 Report Review

Review #10, by Miss Undaztood Black A Night Spent Playing Hookey

5th May 2014:
I really like this!

I like how you have introduced the character without explicitly stating who he is. I mean, the reader knows, but G doesn't so you end up reading it with a little knowing smile on your face :)

I think that one of the reasons you're worried about the flow of this chapter is that it's kind of a 'love at first sight' narrative, but not quite. It's two characters that have only just met and there's a chemistry there, making it very tense. I wonder if you're trying to move the romance along a little quickly and you should perhaps spend a chapter with them just getting to know each other, with very little hint of romance, just a growing fondness and respect?

Overall, it's a good chapter. There is awkwardness there, but it's necessary awkwardness because of the two strangers attracted to each other thing.

There was a small thing I noticed (probably because I'm English) where James says he's English, and G asks him about London, even though James didn't mention London. You perhaps want to make James mention London before G asks, or have him say something about how all Americans think England's just London or something, a sarcastic, lighthearted reprimand.

I don't think you need to overly worry about this chapter much at all, just make sure that relationships and events happen at realistic paces :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! Haha, yes, I have gotten so many people saying that they can't wait to have it revealed to G, but I quite like the readers knowing smile too :). Yes, that what I was trying to do as there is limited time as they are on spring break, but I can probably make it work to prolong it. It would probably work a lot better if I did have them more as friends first as you suggested. I'll look back on that CC too. Didn't really think about that when I was writing it haha! Thank you again for the such nice reviews!!
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #11, by Miss Undaztood Black A Surprise

5th May 2014:
You're setting up G's family life really well, I like it :)
Back story is difficult to set up as it can slow a story down and make it feel like it hasn't started yet etc, but you're doing a good job of making it interesting and engaging in its own right.
While reading, I did notice a few spelling and grammar mistakes that, while they are inevitable, can detract from a reader's enjoyment of your story. Examples are 'personation' when you meant 'impersonation', calling Scorpius 'Scorpious', etc. Have you considered getting a beta reader?
But those are minor considerations next to characterisation and story flow and things like that, all of which you're doing really well :)

Author's Response: Thank you! Yeah, I didn't want to explain it but rather show her family life and hopefully I did that haha. Yes, I just contacted someone about becoming my beta so that will help a lot with those types of things. Glad you think the story is working so far!

 Report Review

Review #12, by Miss Undaztood Black An Introduction

5th May 2014:
Your requested review :)

I'll review this chapter and 4, if that's alright (although you'll possibly get small reviews on Chapter 2 and 3 if I like them!).

I'm always dubious about stories that have HP fans going into the HP world, but you've set it up really well. You're really good at picking out small descriptive details to describe a scene so that the reader knows what the rest of the room is like without you having to spend paragraphs describing it and losing the flow.

Immediately, you've set out a character that's flawed, in that she's annoyed a classmate and ditched her friend to read fanfiction (I'm guessing she's not a people person? :P) but one the majority of us can relate with, who's likeable.

The only thing I would suggest at this stage to improve your writing is to be careful of over-description. Take this sentence for example: "creating long curls before letting it go and spring right back to its slight wavy-ness." There are a lot of adjectives and adverbs that can make it a little harder to understand, and the image you're trying to create could be done in a lot fewer words.

That's it for now, but I'm looking forward to reading the rest!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for reviewing!! Haha, yes, G is not the biggest people person. She is a little bit of an introvert probably. I'll look back and keep that CC in mind. Thanks for telling me! Thanks again for the review!

 Report Review

Review #13, by maryhead An Introduction

26th April 2014:
Hi! I'm here for your requested review :)

Ok. I definitely have to stop saying that I don't read Next Gen stories. Seriously. This. Is. Awesome!

I know, I know... I should have reviewed chapter 4. But to review chapter 4 I have to read chapter 1, 2 and 3 first, and chapter 1 is just too good to be left without a comment!

I have to say, I didn't read the summary. It's just a habit of mine, I want to feel the suspense at its highest level, and in this case, not reading the summary had the wanted effect. For the first couple of paragraphs I imagined the chapter to be set in Hogwarst and then... BAM. Surprise! You are in the muggle world, maryhead! I loved this, since I love surprises in a story, and the discovery attracted my attention even more. Of course, I am probably the only person on this website who doesn't read summaries, so I am probably the only person here who was surprised by this. Anyway.

I liked this chapter so much because I was able to identify myself completely with the protagonist. And when I say completely, I mean it. When I read "something that was so dear with me was slipping through my hands like sand" I almost shouted: "Oh my God! That's me! that'smethat'smethat'sme!". You were able to catch the feelings of a teenager who still believes in the magic of a book that has guided her in her childhood, and refuses to reject it only because she's "too old for that". Basically you talked about all of us, restless writers who work every day to let the Magical world live a second more.

The characterization is very good, and I found the "photography" of the chapter interesting. The way you focus on single details of a scene instead of describing the background in general- as in the part of the jiggling foot at the beginning of the chapter- gives me the wonderful sensation of watching a film created by a very original director. This is what I look for in a fan fiction, although you probably already know that.

So... What else can I say? This introduction really intrigued me, and I am looking forward to reading the next chapters!

Since you asked me to review chapter 4 and I... well, didn't, I'll review it without you having to re-request. ;)

I hope you liked this review, although it was probably a bit random, and thank you for suggesting this to me even though I didn't express a particular interest for this Era in my description. You broadened my horizons ;)

Author's Response: This is probably one of the nicest reviews I have ever gotten! Thank you so much! I am glad I opened your reading options to another era ;). Haha! Well, I'm glad you liked the surprise! I mean, I usually read the summaries but you know... whatever floats your boat I guess haha! Yes, I really tried in the first chapter to really make it seem like it could be anyone on this site that I was writing about. I begin to give G more specific characteristics later on, but I liked her being able to go in any direction in the beginning :). I feel like the first chapter was probably my best writing, so hopefully I don't let you done in the other chapters. I can't wait to read your review for chapter 4 ;). Thank you again, lovely!!
xoxo Mary


 Report Review

Review #14, by Abby A Night Spent Playing Hookey

21st April 2014:
Oh my god--- this is AMAAAZING! Please write more!!!

Author's Response: why thank you lovely!! so glad you liked it!
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #15, by Joanne A Night Spent Playing Hookey

21st April 2014:
love love love it! please update soon! xxx

Author's Response: Ah! Thank you very much, hun! Hopefully the update won't take too long :)
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #16, by Chaz Corner A Night Spent Playing Hookey

16th April 2014:
I read through this because of lightthecandle and you are an amazing author! I love it so very much!

Author's Response: Thank you so much!! So happy that you read it and liked it! It means so much to me that you reviewed!!
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #17, by lightthecandle A Night Spent Playing Hookey

8th April 2014:
EK!! I have literally been checking everyday whether you had updated yet or not and when I saw you had, I nearly wee'd myself in excitement! O... M... G! They nearly kissed!! Holy hell! So good, I actually love this story, it's so different! Please keep writing more! I need more James/G!
~Aimee xxx

Author's Response: Your reviews always make my day! I am so glad you liked the chapter! Sorry about it taking so much time to update, I started working on some other stories as well as life getting extremely busy. Hopefully the next chapter will come much sooner :)
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #18, by sweetypye0110 A Boy

5th March 2014:
So cute and funny!!! I laughed out loud when I read her list (1. Stop being creepy) lol. Great job! Keep going!

Author's Response: Thank you sooo much!! Hopefully it won't be too long before the next chapter is up, but with school and everything as busy as it is, I unfortunately cannot make any promises :(. However, I hope you keep reading when the next chapter is up!!
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #19, by Sarah A Boy

23rd February 2014:
Omg ! You're also a fan of game of thrones and flappy bird !?!? Are you sure you're not my secret twin sister from another country ?!

Author's Response: Haha! I might be!! Harry Potter + Game of Thrones = My life. So glad you liked the story! Hope you keep reading!
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #20, by chandler_bing A Boy

20th February 2014:
God, I love this story. Please update soon!! I can't wait to know what happens next (please let it be James and G hooking up or something haha)!

Author's Response: Haha! Thank you so much!! And as to what happens next, I guess you will just have to wait and see ;)
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #21, by Anon A Boy

20th February 2014:
I love this chapter!!! Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you so very much!! Hope you keep reading :)
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #22, by lightthecandle A Boy

20th February 2014:
I'm hyperventilating! I nearly had a heart attack when I saw that another chapter had been added! This was just so good and I was screaming at G to realise that it was James?! I will be forever (im)patiently waiting for the next chapter! Something better happen between the two of them, I don't care if it's too early, I just want something to happen to them :D

Author's Response: Haha! Thank you so much! This review has made my day :). And I know, I know, I just wish that G would figure it out too, but I feel like I should make it at least a little believable (or at least as believable as a fantasy story written by a non professional writer can be). And as to the next update, I unfortunately cannot make any promises as to when it will be out since I haven't even planned it out as well as the fact that school is about to bombard me with work :(. But I will try my hardest to get it out in a reasonable amount of time :). Thank you again for this wonderful review!
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #23, by Dumblydorrrr An Introduction

17th February 2014:
Interesting...
Your life and Harry Potter.
Hmmm...

Author's Response: Well hopefully you liked it! If you were saying that it sounds like I put myself into the story, I really didn't. The only shared trait I have with G is our mutual love for HPFF. Yes the obsession written does come from my experience, but I also tried to put in the feeling everyone else has for this site which I have picked up through the stories themselves, the reviews, and the Harry Potter fandom and its craziness as a whole. This is not supposed to be read passive aggressively at all by the way and if this was not what you were trying to say in your review, sorry for reading it incorrectly. But if you did mean it this way, hopefully you can now see that it is not meant to be like that because I know that everyone hates (including myself) when author's are obviously playing out their own fantasies in their stories.
Hopefully you continue reading :)


 Report Review

Review #24, by sweetypye0110 A Surprise

17th February 2014:
These type of stories are my guilty pleasure! Can't wait to see where you take this!!!

Author's Response: Why thank you very much! ^_^ I am currently writing the third chapter so hopefully it won't be too much longer before it's up.
xoxo


 Report Review

Review #25, by Harlie A Surprise

8th February 2014:
Amazing this is me when is get home! I'm like "I can't wait to go home and read my hpff" and my friends ask me what the hell it is and i just laugh

Author's Response: haha! Well I am glad you like it! Hopefully the next chapter will be up in the next two weeks :)
xoxo


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>