1 Reviews Found

Review #1, by TidalDragon Diagon Alley and a Boy with Untidy Black Hair

24th February 2014:
Howdy! This is the first next-gen. piece I've read on the archive. I'm interested to see how the core idea and relationship (if there does end up being one) develops between Evangeline and James (II) over the years. It was nice that you drilled in enough on their chance first meeting so that we noticed that she has already caught his attention.

Hopefully going forward you can take extra time to patiently develop characters, backgrounds, relationships, and story lines. I think that would really help flesh everything out more and draw the reader in a little more to what is happening in each scene and with each character.

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks, I will most definitely use that. Hope you like the story and I will keep writing.

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