Reading Reviews for Erised Stra Ehru Oy
24 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Dojh167 The Mirror of Erised

12th June 2015:
Hufflepuff House Cup 2015 Review

Story Summery: Perfect.
Banner: Perfect.

I am sucked in. Now for the story...

I like the rhythm that you use here. It is very gentle and complacent, and kind of lulls us into the calm exterior that Dumbledore presents, while allowing you to explore darker themes.

I do think you need to be on the watch for run on sentences. Particularly because of the rhythm you established in Dumbledore's voice, if you allow extra words to get in the way the reader can quickly lose focus.

I think that it is really lovely how you tied together what Harry sees in the mirror with what Dumbledore sees. It is such a strong parallel, and Harry bought the socks thing.

I find it extremely telling that the things Albus desires from his father (other than being alive) are "pride, sadness and regret."

Nice work with this.


Author's Response: Hello there! So sorry that I've been taking so long to answer your review but I've been busy.

I definitely understand what you mean about run on sentences, sometimes I get a little carried away and I forget that punctuation is an actual thing, it's something that I try to pay more attention to now with my writing.

I thought it would be a nice comparison to bring in, especially since they see pretty much the same thing but for very different reasons.

Thank you so much for your review and good luck in the House Cup!

 Report Review

Review #2, by LadyL8 The Mirror of Erised

12th June 2015:
Hi There. I'm Here for the House Cup, but you probably guessed that on your own :P

It's so interesting to see what you've done with just 500 words, and I love how creative and original your summary and the story itself is. I've never actually thought about what Dumbledore really saw in that mirror, but I've always believed it wasn't socks. But him seeing his family there does make sense, and I liked that he didn't follow the advice he himself had given Harry about not coming back to the mirror. I don't really liked Dumbledore all that much, but it was like I could feel him guilt and how much misses the family they once were. I sympathised with him, and that's quite a feat since I don't like him, like I said earlier. So good job.

I'm curious about how you came up with this idea. This really isn't like anything I've ever seen on HPFF before, so credits to you for even coming up with it. I like the feeling of sadness, loss and guilt that just pretty much describes the story. It was tragically beautiful in a way, but I liked it. Thanks for a good story, and have a wonderful weekend.



House Cup 2015 - Hufflepuff

Author's Response: After the other dozen yes, you're correct in that I did figure out this was for the House Cup.

I never believed Dumbledore saw socks either, even when I first read Harry Potter I thought that it wasn't possible for him to just see socks. To me it made sense that Dumbledore would see his family whole in the mirror, it sounded like he regretted everything that he had done. There are many reasons to dislike Dumbledore, he was manipulative and there is never a reason to leave a child in an abusive home but at the same time, after looking more into his character he's probably one of my favourites but let's not get into that. But I'm glad that you could sympathise with him, that was really my aim, to try and get across just how much he missed his family.

I was lying awake one night and one idea that I had for this challenge wasn't working so I just switched gears, I'd been thinking about writing this one-shot for a while and then the 500 word challenge finally gave me a reason to write it.

Thank you so much for your review!

 Report Review

Review #3, by pointless_proclamations The Mirror of Erised

12th June 2015:

The summary of the story really caught my eye. You've inspired curiosity. I must know more, now. Grace, what you've written here is emotionally effective. A good punch of sadness to the gut.

Your writing style is absolutely remarkable. It gave the story a really good pace and HOLY COW such good flow. It read sadly and very calmly. Despite being exactly 500 words, it feels as if that number was reached effortlessly. Nothing seemed out of place, nothing seemed missing, nothing seemed strained. It was flawless.

The guilt Albus felt. . . [wails] I felt it too, Grace. You just pull at the heart with your pretty, pretty words, don't you?

This is an amazing missing moment story. ♥


House Cup 2015 Review - Slytherin

Author's Response: Every time I see a review by you I get really excited to see what you have to say.

I'm glad that it was a good punch of sadness in the gut.

I expected the Every Word Counts Challenge to be a lot harder but I knew exactly what I was going to write and how I wanted it to sound so this one-shot just seemed to flow out of me (BUT WOW THANK YOU THAT'S ONE OF THE BIGGEST COMPLIMENTS I'VE GOTTEN ON MY WRITING!)

Thank you so much for your absolutely lovely reviews!

 Report Review

Review #4, by DracoFerret11 The Mirror of Erised

11th June 2015:
Hello there! This is DarkRose from the forums, here to review for you for the House Cup 2015! So, let's go over things:

Plot: Oh dear...this was sad, wasn't it? Yes, it was very sad. You did such a great job portraying the emotions within this situation, and I really felt sorry for Albus. Fantastic job.

Characterization: I think you did a great job showing Dumbledore's regret and sadness and longing. He was so believable. It actually made me wonder if the book-Albus really did feel bad for all the lying he did throughout his life...Good job making me think!

These "Every Word Counts" stories are so short, but nine times out of ten, I wish I could keep reading. You did such a good job with this. I really enjoyed it. Thank you for writing.

--Emily (DarkRose)

Ravenclaw, House Cup 2015

Author's Response: Hey there! Thanks for stopping to leave a review for the House Cup!

I'm happy to hear that you thought it was sad, I was trying to make it as sad as I could to try and get across just how much Albus regrets what went on in his family.

AND I AM ESPECIALLY HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU FOUND HIM BELIEVABLE! Judging from what I saw in Half-Blood Prince though when Dumbledore drank the potion, it really did seem like he was sorry for the things that went wrong in his family but we may never know (unless Pottermore has covered this in which case we probably do and I just haven't caught up yet).

Thank you so much for your review!

 Report Review

Review #5, by TreacleTart The Mirror of Erised

31st May 2015:
Hi there!

I'm here to leave you a review for your birthday, so let me start by wishing you a very happy birthday!

This was a nice, quiet, reflective moment for Dumbledore. It's not something I've seen very often, so I really like that you've chosen to write about this. I thought you did a good job of conveying his feelings towards his family and his regrets about everything that had happened to them.

The way you show Dumbledore telling Harry not to come back to the mirror because it can drive a man insane, but then staying by the mirror for a week himself really highlighted his inner struggles. He knows that he needs to let go of the dead, but he can't seem to figure out how to do so. His intense desire to have his family together whole and healthy is just heartbreaking.

I'm always amazed by these Every Word Counts stories and how much people are able to say within the confines of five hundred words. You've really managed to pack the feeling into this one! By the time I had finished reading this I had a really clear idea of where Dumbledore was emotionally at this point in his life. Good work!

And again, I wish you the happiest of birthdays!


Author's Response: Hello! I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the one-shot! It means a lot to hear that I conveyed his feelings well as feelings are generally a tough thing for me to write.

I always figured that Dumbledore would've had a harder time staying away from the mirror than Harry, because he had actually known his family whereas Harry hadn't, so it was easier for him to let go of something that he had never had. I always thought that Dumbledore would've gone back to the mirror over and over until it was removed.

Thank you so much for your lovely review and birthday wish!

 Report Review

Review #6, by The Basilisk The Mirror of Erised

8th March 2015:
Hello. It is I, The Basilisk, come here for your review.

This was very sweet and sad. I liked how you added a missing moment of sorts, showing what Albus Dumbledore saw in the mirror or erised. You captured his longing for his family very nicely and managed to portray the right emotion in just 500 words which is great.

The little dessscriptions showing exactly what Albus saw in the mirror were a nice touch and seeing his family like that made me smile as well. Your narrative flowed smoothly and overall this made for a nice little read. There were a few typos such as "she gave him the smallest of small" - I assume that was to say "smallest of smiles". A quick read through would be able to fix these.

Apart from that, good job =) It was worth slithering out of my Chamber for in these times of hibernation.

Hiss Hiss,
The Basilisk

Author's Response: Sorry it's taken so long to get to this! Let me tell you, it was a surprise to get this but moving on to actually responding to the review!

First off, I'm glad that you enjoyed the one-shot! I'm happy to hear that it flowed well, it's always something that I worry about (especially nowadays). Thank you for pointing out the typos, for some reason, no matter how many times I look over the story, there's always something that I end up missing no matter what. I'm going to get around to fixing all of my typos one day but that day is sadly not today.

Thank you so much for your review!

 Report Review

Review #7, by milominderbinder The Mirror of Erised

27th September 2014:
story search round 1! wow in so few words you managed to make this so meaningful. i've always wondered what he really saw in the mirror & i'm sure you've got it right here. you showed his grief perfectly. & i loved how you touched on how often he lies to people he cares about; it's such an interesting part of his character that isn't explored enough!

Author's Response: It's taken me so long to respond to this! Sorry for taking so long! I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed it, writing this one-shot had made me slightly nervous at first because it was, I believe, my first attempt at writing a canon character and I'm so glad to hear that you enjoyed it and to hear that I wrote this well!

 Report Review

Review #8, by maskedmuggle The Mirror of Erised

12th July 2014:

This was such a great one-shot. I really thought it was written really well, and I loved the plot of it. From reading the summary I was instantly intrigued by what Dumbledore would really see, and of course, I had an inkling that it would be his family, and I'm glad that's what you thought as well. It actually reminds me that Dumbledore and Harry are kind of similar that way in both wanting their family to be whole again but knowing that it can't ever happen. I think you did such a wonderful job characterising Dumbledore, who I personally think is very difficult to write. You did such a wonderful job with this story! You definitely said a lot with only 500 words :)

- Charlotte/maskedmuggle
House Cup 2014 Review

Author's Response: Hola!

I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the one-shot! JKR mentioned somewhere that when Albus looked in the Mirror of Erised, he saw his family intact and welcoming him home and such so I went off of that and elaborated a bit. I've always thought that the easy part of writing Albus was his dialogue but the hard part would be writing the fact that he's a really wise and intelligent man and showing that through his thoughts and such.

Thank you so much for your wonderful review!

 Report Review

Review #9, by UnluckyStar57 The Mirror of Erised

12th July 2014:
So Albus Dumbledore could not take his own advice. That's so sad, and very poisonous to his psyche. His family will never be intact again, and they were never perfect to begin with. What he desires does not exist, and that is sad. I wish that he didn't have to go through all of that, but he was a proud, foolish teenager and now he's a broken, sad old man. I don't think that his visits to the mirror made him go insane, but I do believe it that he visited the mirror quite often. He was there when Harry got there, and he probably stayed for quite a long time after Harry left.

But that's a really long time to be miserable over your family, and it's truly terrible that he had to wallow in grief and guilt and regret for all those long years.

Brilliantly written! I've never heard the song, but it must be very sad if it caused you to write something like this. :)

House Cup 2014 Review


Author's Response: Hey there again!

I feel like a lot of advice that Albus gave out, he may not himself have followed it because it seems like something that he would do.

Albus was perfectly aware of exactly how dysfunctional his family was but I think throughout his entire life, he still dreamed of the perfect family that they could've been. That's the sad thing about the Mirror of Erised, it shows you what you can't have.

Oh I don't think his visits made him go insane either, he probably put a stop to the visits at some point.

Albus had a pretty broken life so I'm not all that surprised that he spent so much of it thinking about what could've been.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #10, by Pretense Of Perfection The Mirror of Erised

10th July 2014:
Wow, this was beautifully written, and I immensely enjoyed reading this side of Albus, because it's one that we don't get to see too often, even in fanfiction. I think you captured his character brilliantly, and the part where he admits that he lies to try and cover his own emotions rang very true, and really made the story great, for me at least. I love how he knows better than to look in the mirror, yet he still does it. His arrogance really comes across when he tells Harry not to come back, yet he does time and time again, thinking he is powerful enough to handle it. I love seeing this brief glimpse of what life could've been like for him, and the mannerisms and characteristics of his family members were spot on. I totally see his mother as being sort of cold or aloof, and his sister as silly and playful, with all her childlike innocence, and trying to cheer him up by tugging on Abe's robes.

--house cup 2014 review--

Author's Response: Hey there!

I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed this because it was my first time attempting to write any canon character. As great as Dumbledore was, the man was human and he had his flaws just like everyone else. He knew what the wise and smart thing to do would be but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. It's like he told Harry, he wasn't as strong as Harry was.

My favourite part was writing the mannerisms of his family, I had a lot of fun imagining how they would be standing and what they would be doing. There was just something interesting about making a dysfunctional family seem functional.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #11, by jessicalorewrites The Mirror of Erised

9th July 2014:

This oneshot gave me the feels big time :o I really love reading little continuations of things we see happen in the book, from an alternative POV. It makes the experience so so much better for me. Especially when they are as well written as this is!

As I say to everyone who writes for the every word counts challenge, CONGRATS! Just the fact you can wrap up a plot in such a short word count is amazing to me. It's not something I could do easily so I admire you for being able to do so.

Your Albus was spot on in terms of characterisation. I loved seeing this more loving side of Dumbledore, the softer side that wishes for nothing more than his family back. It's calm and serene and a welcome break from the stressed Dumbledore I often read.

Well done on a really amazing oneshot :)


{House Cup 2014 Review - Gryffindor}

Author's Response: Hello there!

EEEK, I always get really flustered when someone tells me that something is well-written and I never know how to respond so thank you for that! I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed the one-shot!

Thank you! I've been wanting to write something like this for quite a while and the challenges that I entered gave me the reason to actually get this written and validated. It's not as hard once you know what you want to write.

I was a little worried about the characterization so it's good to hear that he was in character.

Thank you so much for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #12, by patronus_charm The Mirror of Erised

8th July 2014:
Hi again Grace!

Ok, so many feels, so many feels and wah this was so good! ♥ I really liked how Albus started with thinking about Harry as it meant I got understand his decision a little more and that helped a lot with the later part. It was as if he didnít want Harry to get trapped in the same endless spiral he seemed to be in with regards to the mirror and how he could never leave it which was kind of ironic as it gave him so much joy but then he wanted to help deny that for others too. wah that doesnít seem to make sense when writing it, but it was really cool what you did.

I really loved the images of Dumbledoreís family as it was so calm and serene and happy and you rarely ever come across that with them as people tend to concentrate on the angstier side of things, so it was nice to see some more light-hearted moments. But one thing I really loved which you did here was just show the purity of his love for them, and how he never meant to hurt them no matter what other people thought and that idea was just really love but may have broken my heart into thousands of shards! Such an amazing piece! ♥

House Cup 2014 Review!

Author's Response: Hey there again Kiana!

Well I'm glad to hear that this gave you some feels! I felt like there needed to be an explanation for why Dumbledore was warning Harry about the mirror before focusing on the fact that he was probably stuck staring at the mirror because unlike Harry he wasn't strong enough to give up the image of his family. I totally get what you mean about him denying the joy to others but at the same time the joy that the mirror gave was only temporary and just wasted people away when said people could've done something productive with their time.

I can totally understand why people focus on the angsty side of the family because by the sound of it they were full of drama but I don't think anyone would want to see the dysfunctional side of their family if they were in Dumbledore's shoes.

Thank you so much for reviewing again!

 Report Review

Review #13, by The Misfit The Mirror of Erised

18th April 2014:
Hi Grace! First of all, I'd like to say that I'm SO sorry for the delay in getting to this review! RL got crazy for a while, and then I've been exhausted the past couple of weeks but I'm here at last! ^.^

I really like this one-shot! The Every Word Counts challenge seems really hard, so I applaud you on managing to write this! I enjoyed the way you set the scene with that scene from Philosopher's Stone, because it helps us to connect with Albus and the one-shot more than if it had been a different night when he was alone. You've done superbly at depicting his grief and nostalgia in such a few words, and I get the feeling that the mirror was sort of an addiction for Albus.

I also loved the similarities between what Harry and Albus saw in the mirror. You drew such lovely comparisons between them that it really connected them together. The ending was also incredibly sad, and although I'd have liked to see some expansion on it, I understand it's difficult with the word limit. Regardless, you've depicted a very old man with many regrets, and shown him plagued by those regrets. I really hope Albus managed to forgive himself in later years, before his death, but somehow I doubt he did. :(

Nevertheless, this was a fantastic one-shot and I enjoyed reading it! ^.^ Once again, apologies for the delay in getting to this review!


Author's Response: I actually forgot about this until I got the review and then a light bulb turned on.

The challenge isn't as hard as it seems actually, the hard part is the little things that you need to cut out but that you don't want to because it adds to the story and rewording sentences to make them smaller.

It wasn't hard to write about Albus missing his family, I know what it's like to miss my grandparents since they're overseas. I don't think that Albus ever truly forgave himself for what happened either, I realised that when Harry told Aberforth about who Albus was pleading with when he drank that potion in the cave. Albus regretted everything he had done to the day that he died.

I don't mind that it took this long, I understand how it gets. I'm so happy to hear that you enjoyed it!

 Report Review

Review #14, by Phoenix_feather123 The Mirror of Erised

25th March 2014:
this was a great idea, I am sure everyone wondered what Dumbledore saw in the mirror. I think this is a very likely idea, and the fact that Harry and Dumbledore want the same thing is adorable. :3

The feels doe.

One thing is that I think the ending is kind of weak, but since you can only write 500 words that is too be expected.

Good job.

Author's Response: After Deathly Hallows I just always assumed that it was probably his family that Dumbledore saw. I'm happy to hear that you found it believable.

The ending was tough and I spent quite a bit of time coming up with it but I'm happy with the way I ended the one-shot.

Thanks for the review!

 Report Review

Review #15, by HEG The Mirror of Erised

24th March 2014:
This story feels so sad. I don't know why it just is. When reading the book, there is a moment when Harry suspects that Dumbledore is not telling the truth. This is a good story to reveal that he WAS lying though you still don't know WHAT he saw. It's sort of obvious that he didn't see socks so I think he's hiding something - something that's bad. The last sentence makes you think. Very well written, you have done an excellent job AlPotterFan :)

Author's Response: It was actually supposed to be a little sad, that's what I was aiming for so it's good to hear that you got that feeling!

I also got the feeling that Dumbledore was lying to Harry and when I read Deathly Hallows, I just immediately assumed that Dumbledore saw his family (I assumed that this was what everyone else saw as well).

Thanks so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #16, by kenpo The Mirror of Erised

16th March 2014:
Hey, thanks so much for entering my challenge!!

I know you posted this ages ago, but I'm just reviewing it now because I wanted to read all the entries fairly close together.

I think you fit the story to the song beautifully. I don't know if it was intentional, but I think the song is very simple (I don't know how familiar you are with the song, but it's the main theme of Jurassic Park but... simple), so it's fitting that you decided to make the entry 500 words.

I suppose it's a tad unfair that you got a Williams song, since he composed the music for the first two HP movies, so the song already feels sort of HP-y, but I still think that you wrote really well to fit the song.

Oh gosh. That was so incoherent. I hope you understood what I was trying to say and aren't currently judging my reviewing abilities too harshly.

I really like the idea that you had. In hindsight, I'm really not surprised you wrote from this specific era, given how similar your song is to the music from that year (oh gosh, another awfully constructed sentence. I need a review beta), but I really love this idea.

Dumbledore is a really fascinating character, and I think you really made an effort to break him down. I think you drew a great parallel between Albus and Harry - one that Harry wished he'd known about sooner. This was one of those times, that had Albus shared how well he understood Harry's desire to look at his family, they could've been closer.

This review is seriously so awful, and I'm sorry. I'm just trying to say that I really enjoyed it and I thought it was very well written.

One thing, I think you might've spent a little bit too much time setting up the scene. I understand how ridiculous that statement is, given that you used 3 or 4 sentences, but with only 500 words, I wished I got more Albus and how he felt.

Ack, this review keeps getting worse and worse...

Thank you so much for entering the challenge, I'm really happy to include this wonderful story on the list of entries. I think you wrote it very well and fit the song marvelously.

Author's Response: Hello there and sorry for getting to your review a little late! I actually forgot that you were reviewing the entries so I was really surprised when this showed up.

Before you gave me the song, I hadn't even noticed it in Jurassic Park to be perfectly honest. It did remind me of Albus the minute that it started playing though so it's great to hear that it fit the one-shot.

When it comes to John Williams, I hadn't really paid individual attention to each and every song from the HP movies. But I suppose it was a bit unfair that I got John Williams.

Your challenge actually worked out really great for me because I got to combine it with another challenge that had given me Albus as my character to write about. It's lovely how things work out, isn't it?

I agree that if Harry had known what Dumbledore had really felt, the two would've been a lot closer and perhaps Harry wouldn't have been so angry with Dumbledore for giving him such a difficult task to accomplish with almost nothing to go on.

The review makes perfect sense, don't worry about it, I'm just very happy to hear that you enjoyed it! I wanted to add in more about Albus but I just can't get rid of the setting. I felt like if I took that part out then there would be nothing to bring the reader into the story and everyone would be pointing out how there should've been more setting of the scene. The difficulties of being a writer.

Thank you so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #17, by True Author The Mirror of Erised

12th March 2014:
Hi! Here for the review battle! :)

I can never resist reading entries for the Every Word Counts challenge for I have written one and I know how hard it is! But you have done this really well despite of the short word count and you have chosen a suitable plot for it too. :D

Dumbledore is one of the HP characters I always fail to write. He's such a complicated man! But you have done a really good job here. Have you written him before?

I always thought that Dumbledore did see himself holding a pair of socks until I read DH! XD But yeah, now I see that he must have seen his family like Harry did. But of course their situations were different and Dumbledore's a bit more sad. :(

Anyways, this was really a great read and I will definitely listen to the instrumental song you had been given. :) Good luck for all the challenges you have participated in! :D


Author's Response: Hey there!

I expected the Every Word Counts Challenge to be a lot harder than it actually was, to be honest. I had originally planned on writing about the night that James and Lily died but this seemed to fit just as well and it went along with the other challenges.

I do agree that he's a really complicated man, it's probably one of the reasons that I may try to avoid him in writing stories because I might not do him justice. I've never written Albus Dumbledore before, this was a first time writing a canon character for me and it's a relief to know that I haven't butchered Albus.

I never really believed Albus when he said that he saw socks. I don't know why but there was always something nagging at me and telling me that that's not what Albus saw at all. It turned out I was right later on.

If you do listen to the instrumental song that goes with it, I hope you like because it's a really great piece! Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #18, by 800 words of heaven The Mirror of Erised

11th March 2014:

I haven't read one of your stories for ages, and I really missed your writing! I also love reading entries for the Every Word Counts Challenge - it's so awesome, and you've done a really good job here.

I really love that you've chosen this moment. It's very heartbreaking and real, and I can't help but seeing the parallels between Dumbledore and Harry. They both want their families back; one, who has never known them, and the other, whose wish they didn't know him.

The Mirror of Erised is such a heartbreaking artefact, and I really love how you've captured that. You can't help but be drawn by its lure, even though it'll break your heart every time. I guess that's why people keep coming back to it - except for Ron, of course, who was one of the wisest against it, surprisingly.

I'm sorry for getting a little rambly in this review, but I really enjoyed this! Good luck with all the challenges :)

Author's Response: It's been a while since I've gotten a review from you! Welcome back to my author's page! Aw, thank you so much (I'm smiling like a moron now!)

I'm so glad that you enjoyed the one-shot! Whenever people mention Albus, my mind immediately jumps to what he must've seen when he looked into the Mirror of Erised and I was so glad to finally write something about that.

I've always wondered what I would see if I looked into the Mirror of Erised but I can never come up with an answer. I definitely agree that that's what keeps people coming back to it, wanting to know what their deepest desire is. I never expected Ron to be the wisest either, I was really surprised when I found out about him.

It's not a problem at all that you got rambly, it happens to me as well. Thanks so much for the review!

 Report Review

Review #19, by keyty The Mirror of Erised

10th March 2014:
Here from review tag!

This is so sad. I have always wondered whether or not Dumbledore really did see socks in the mirror, and I think this is a pretty plausible interpretation. I see it was made for a challenge, and I think you did a great job of keeping it concise and getting everything across in just 500 words. That is very difficult to accomplish, but I think you've done it will. I only saw two very minor errors, I hope you don't mind me pointing them out to you:

In the first paragraph: he just wanted to see his family as they used to be when he was younger before disaster after disaster struck. That ending looks a little choppy, you could probably get rid of 'after disaster struck.'

And then towards the end: she would give him the smallest of a small and put her hand on his shoulder. I'm guessing small was meant to be smile.

Overall, I really liked this. It was short and sweet and gave an insight on Dumbledore, which we hardly ever see. Good job. :)

[Okay I posted that I was reviewing like a million years ago, but I'm at work and we got swamped so I'm posting it now! Sorry!]

Author's Response: I always got the impression that Albus was lying to Harry when he told him that he saw socks and then later on in the series, it's mentioned that Harry realises that socks wasn't what Albus really saw in the mirror at all. Even when I read Harry Potter for the first time, I found it hard to believe that Dumbledore just wanted socks, not many people love socks that much. I don't know what everyone else got from this but to me it always meant that Albus saw the same thing as Harry, his family intact. I'm glad to hear that I managed to make it good in 500 words. I spent so long rewording everything to make it fit the mark.

Thanks for pointing out anything that I should change, whenever I have the time, I will most certainly take your corrections into considerations (I might actually be able to include a little bit more about Aberforth with a few words gone).

Thanks for reviewing and I don't mind at all that it was late!

 Report Review

Review #20, by Courtney Dark The Mirror of Erised

17th February 2014:
Hey there! Thank you so much for entering the Uncomfortable Challenge!

I have never been brave enough to attempt the Every Word Counts Challenge, and I think you did a really great job both with writing a completed story in 500 words, and with the prompt of Albus Dumbledore - I really liked the direction you took with this story.

Aw, the descriptions of Albus' family were so sweet and made me feel so bad for him! I think you described what he saw in the mirror really well, and brought out a lot of emotions.

I also think you finished this story perfectly, with the line: 'Albus Dumbledore wanted his family back very much.'

Thanks for the great read!


Author's Response: I had quite a lot of fun writing this entry for your challenge and it allowed me to combine it with other entries as well.

I've been telling myself that I would attempt the Every Word Counts Challenge for quite some time but I've never gotten around to it and I've kept putting it off.

I was hoping that I had given his family enough description to make them feel real instead of very brief. The last line was actually very difficult because I needed something to close off the story with that wouldn't make it go over 500 words.

Thank you so much for your wonderful review!

 Report Review

Review #21, by bellatrixlestrange123 The Mirror of Erised

10th February 2014:
Hi there!

First of all, I am so sorry that the rest of your well earned reviews have taken so long for me to post but life has been way to hectic for me to even have had the time to write or respond to anything on this site ;(

But anyway, things have calmed down a little bit and so here I am!

Now, I know you said that you didn't have a particular story that you wanted reviewing so im quite glad about that because it gives me a chance to explore and give you feedback on your different styles of writing within different works.

Now, I love the way you have managed to use the idea of what Dumbledore's vision may have been when he looked into the mirror of Erised and turned into a very thorough and well connected one shot. It is always hard to write something as a one shot let alone in 500 words! So I think that you've done very well in capturing the whole essence of Dumbledore's very personal character in very few words.

I found the tone of the story towards the beginning to be quite ominios with the way you wrote of Dumbledore 'warning' Harry about not visiting the mirror. I don't know if this was intentional or not but it added to the expansion of Dumbledore's own character as someone who is obviously not a hypocrite but just an innocent plaster saint.

Over all, I think this was a lovely piece of work and you have great talent to write it all in just 500 words!

Well done!

Bella :)

Author's Response: Nah, it's not a problem. I had actually totally forgotten about the reviews so this came as a huge surprise to me to be perfectly honest. I'm so sorry for taking so long to reply to your reviews!

I've always been fascinated by what Dumbledore saw in the Mirror of Erised. Obviously he saw his family standing around him just like Harry did but I've always wondered what Dumbledore would see exactly. It means quite a lot to me to hear that I managed to capture Dumbledore's character in few words. It took me a while to get the one-shot working because I had to keep editing things in and out to hit the 500 word mark.

I'm so very glad that you enjoyed this one-shot and thank you for your amazing review!

 Report Review

Review #22, by Pixileanin The Mirror of Erised

28th January 2014:
Hi there! I was checking out the Every Word Counts Challenge, and thinking about combining it with my Uncomfortable Challenge too. Like minds, and all that.

Nice execution of the short format. I liked that you had a single point that you were going for, that everything was focused on Albus' secret desires. I thought you did a good job of bringing the piece back around to that at the end.

It's probably because of the strict word count, but I would have liked a tiny bit more comparison between Harry's ability to leave the mirror, while Albus chose not to. I think that if you had enough words to spare, that exploration would have given this piece a little more depth. But hey, I know that with only 500 words, you only have... well, 500 words.

I enjoyed reading this piece! Good luck on your other challenges!

Author's Response: Great minds think alike! I'd been planning on completing the Every Word Counts Challenge and this seemed like the perfect time!

I was a little bit worried that I had strayed from the initial idea of showing what Albus really desired and the only way to really do that for me was if I explained a little bit exactly what Albus saw and how he remembered and pictured his family.

I agree that if I didn't have such a strict word count I probably would've added in the reason for why Harry could leave and Albus couldn't. It definitely would've given the one-shot more depth.

Thank you so much for your review and I've got my fingers crossed for the other challenges!

 Report Review

Review #23, by Red_headed_juliet The Mirror of Erised

23rd January 2014:
I just finished To Have and To Hold, and couldn't resist. I like the way you portrayed his feelings here. I think that acknowledging Dumbledore was human and prone to weakness himself makes him an even more loveable character, and you've done a good job of showing that in a short and simple way. +]

Author's Response: Hey! Thank you so much for stopping by! I really enjoyed chapter 2 of To Have and To Hold.

I thought about how reserved Dumbledore was whenever he was around teachers and students no matter how much emotion he showed. It was like he only allowed everyone to see what he wanted to see. Whenever he was alone he probably allowed himself to feel everything that he hid from everyone. It makes me really happy to hear that I managed to show that.

Thanks for reviewing!

 Report Review

Review #24, by Hogwarts27 The Mirror of Erised

23rd January 2014:
Hi, I stopped by to read this after seeing your forum post, because Albus always interests me. From your author's note, I gather this was some of challenge with a word limit of 500. I think you captured a very reflective moment that obviously still has great meaning for Albus. And you even managed to tell a little about each character involved so that we could sense their lives in the past and how Albus still holds them in his thoughts. I listened to the John William's music as well, and this piece really fits the mood of the music. I thought the music really fit the mirror as well with how it was mysterious and melancholy at the beginning and then sort of expressed the wonder of magic happening. You did a nice job on this short piece.

Author's Response: Oh my goodness hi! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a review! Sorry this took me so long to reply to but it wasn't working on my computer so I'm trying this on another device.

This was indeed also part of a challenge where I had to write it in 500 words. I'd been planning on doing the challenge for a long time and I finally got the inspiration from other people on the forums.

I felt that I kind of strayed from the idea that he was looking into the mirror a little bit but it's good to hear that the description of his family didn't take away from that. I enjoyed the John Wiliams music as well, I hadn't expected something like that from a movie like Jurassic Park.

Thank you so much for this wonderful review!

 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login