Reading Reviews for falling away with you
12 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Lostmyheart falling away with you

19th October 2014:
Kiana, it's been far too long since I've read one of your stories. And after reading this, I'll try my best to read everything you write!

I love the rare pairings, and the fact that this was a Draco/Rose really spoke to me. It was so unusual, and I was intrigued by the thought of the two of them together, and I needed to know how you stitched this story together.

I was certainly not disappointed, and I have to say that this was the first time in years that I've been able to read a story with over 6000 words without stopping. I have developed this very short attention span, and while reading this I was literally glued to my laptop, and suddenly it was over. Imagine my surprise when I reached the ending, because I didn't even take breaks or look at other websites. Nothing.

How this story slowly develops made me fall hard for this couple. Rose was so independent, and Draco, well, not as attractive as his younger days, but still, they seemed like such a good match. Rose was incredibly mature for her age, and I can imagine that was one of the reasons to why Draco felt attracted to her. How many times does a guy have to look at paintings before the girl gets the clue? :P Poor Draco, you fool. And Rose.

I liked the switching back and from, from present to the past. You did that without giving too much away, and it still felt like the story was slowly developing, and gradually falling apart. It was heartbreaking to see them fall apart, and I could feel Rose's pain, but still understand Draco's reasons to break up with her.

You've written this so well, and I loved how you described the paintings.

- Avi

Author's Response: Aw, thank you so much, Avi, that means so much to me!

Aw, thank you so much, I'm so glad that the pairing drew you in because I was worried everyone would be like ew a massive age gap I'm not reading that.

Wowoww, I don't really know how to respond to that other than thank you so much and that comment made my day. I'm so glad that this story managed to keep your attention throughout as I do realise that 6,000 words is a lot so I wouldn't have been surprised if you had drifted off at points.

I'm so glad that you shipped them, as I ship them so much too, and we need more shippers of this pairing! I think Rose's artistic qualities help make her more mature as well as having parents like Hermione and Ron as I imagine them being very chilled out given they got up to all sorts, but it still meant it took her ages to realise Draco had the hots for her :P

Aw, I'm glad that you liked that as I was a little worried it might have been a little confusing. I'm still sad about breaking them up too, so don't worry, but I'm glad you can understand why it had to be because even though I loved the pairing it was just one which was meant to end.

Thank you so much for this fantastic review, Avi! :D


 Report Review

Review #2, by Dark Whisper falling away with you

16th October 2014:
This was really, really lovely. And honestly, it had a realistic ending. I'm glad that Draco came to his senses, really. Sometimes we do things that we don't want to do BECAUSE we love someone. Even though it hurts, it is what is best. I know this is from her point of view, but I think I feel more sorry for Draco. I suppose that is because I'm older and can relate to his position in this case.

I really loved how you portrayed Ron freaking out, but Draco not fighting, because he knew he was right and as a father, had ever right to have his voice be heard (rather loudly).

I love the idea of art bringing them together.

Wonderful portrayal here. Bravo!
Dark Whisper

Author's Response: Hi Dark Whisper!

Wow, thank you so much for this surprise review as it really did make my day! I'm so glad that you liked the ending because even though I loved the two of them together and it was such an interesting pairing to explore, Draco was right, it would never work out, he was too old, he was too complicated and it would just create too many problems for Rose.

Haha, I'm glad that you liked that because I always imagined Ron being the crazy one and Draco just being as cool as ever.

Thank you so much for this amazing review, it really did make my day! :D


 Report Review

Review #3, by manno_malfoy falling away with you

13th February 2014:
Whoa. Excuse me for a minute while I go check out the song!

Okay, so I'm here for the Bronze & Blue Review Battle. I was earlier on TGS and saw that this is this month's featured story, so I thought I must check it out. And I'm rather glad I did.

First of all, I commend you on choosing the perfect point of view to tell this story from. I personally believe that second person gives this space --it distances the narrator from the events that happen to them and therefore allows for the use of vivid language and dreamy speculation without being too much. Yet, you don't overly take advantage of that and every artful image you used adds to the story and to the series of events. So it was both pretty words and a solid plot.

It also did wonders communicating Rose's initial fear and discomfort about her feelings. Maybe that was accentuated a little for me because I write Rose/Scorp. I thought that'd get in the way when Rose finally comes in terms with the relationship, but it didn't! You do a great job making things feel normal and comfortable but without taking away from the reality of the age difference in the relationship. As in, you make Rose admire Draco because of his age rather than in spite of it. And speaking of which, I absolutely adored this comparison: "like when you begin to pull your tights off and the tautness leaves them shrivelled up in a ball." It's brilliant and unique!

I love how it's all about art and the idea of the painting she makes him and the colours was really beautiful.I just really enjoyed the over all mood it gives the story! I also think it does a great job including the song.

Well done is an understatement but I don't know how else to seal this up. Congratulations on being featured one-shot; you definitely deserve it! And I hope to check out more of your stories whenever I have some time. :)

Author's Response: Ok, sorry if the review response is typo ridden and doesn't make much sense, I'm responding on my phone as I'm laptopless :P I'm so glad that you did decide to check this as this review is just so adjdjfjdjd! Also the song is great!

It's great that you thought that the narration an description all worked well together because finding the right blend of the two can be tricky at times. Phew, the arty feel came through! It was the first time when I tried to match the style with the content and it was a lot of fun so yay for that!

Haha, I'm a massive Scorose shipper too, and most of my next gen stories tend to be about them so when I was writing this I could hardly believe I was going against my OTP but it was actually a lot of fun to do in the end. I'm glad that you thought the age gap worked too because I thought everyone would be all like we that's gross but it's great that you got what I wanted Rose to think which was her liking it instead of her feeling a little weird about it.

I'm glad that you liked the art perspective. I have to admit I can't paint and I'm not a massive fan of it either, it's just great to exploit in terms of writing as it really allows things to be explored differently.

Thank you for such a fantastic review, and I really hope this response was somewhat understandable :P I'll have to check out some of your stuff too if you wrote Scorose!


 Report Review

Review #4, by Infinityx falling away with you

8th February 2014:
Hi, here for RRT!

I actually read this story a while ago and it immediately went into my favorites. I wasn't able to review then because I knew if I did, everything would just be garbled.

I read this story five times. In a row. I absolutely loved it. Your use of second person is brilliant and the imagery in this is just astounding.

This story is so different from anything else I've read of yours and it's perfect. I love everything about it. Ugh, I don't even know where to begin. I'll probably end up quoting the entire story back to you.

I love each and every word. I love all the art references. I love how everything is so poetic. I love Rose's job. I love Draco. I love the way their relationship progresses. I love the way you've characterized the two of them as well as Ron and Hermione. I love the ending (although it was so sad) Everything was just so beautiful.

Draco's such a complex character and you've written him wonderfully. The way the relationship despite age difference was portrayed was so amazing, it felt magical. All those little details about his wrinkles and his strange behavior...they were wonderful.

Even though the ending was so incredibly sad, there was still that surreal touch to the writing. The second person just embellished that even more.

This story was so powerful and just perfect. I really don't know what else to say. This story touched me in a way that few do. I was left with tears in my eyes when I finished reading. All five times.

I know this isn't a great review, and I'm sorry I haven't touched more upon each of the aspects of the story. I just don't know what to say. Vocabulary is too limited. I loved every word here. Please don't ever stop writing. You are amazing.


Author's Response: Hi Erin! Wow, how to respond to this review? I'm so glad you tagged me though because it's so great to hear that you liked it so much!

Haha, yes this was a little different as I have written second person in a while but it was so much fun to get into again. Then it was fun to play around with the arty side of imagery too because it did make me view things differently.

Gah, I can't really think of how to respond to this other than I love you for leaving me this because it made my entire week! It's just so great to hear that you liked Draco and Rose because when writing this I thought everyone would think I was crazy for pairing them together, but just hearing you say that makes me so glad I did.

I'm glad that you liked the portrayal of the age gap too, because I thought there was almost too much emphasis on it and how he was older but it was so great to hear that you liked it!

I left you in tears? Haha, reading that makes me want to start crying too :P Gah, I just want to thank you so much because this review just left me so wedweog (aka unable to describe feeling or know how to respond to this review).

Shh, don't apologise, it was a fantastic, and I thought you touched on a ton of aspects! Thank you so much for this review, two days on I'm still sitting here squealing away like a mad person at it :P


 Report Review

Review #5, by milominderbinder falling away with you

2nd February 2014:
Kiana. Okay. Like. First - W O W.

Second, I want to quote every single line of this story to show you how perfect it was. It truly was like you painted this, only you were, like, Leonardo Da Vinci or something, and not a single brush stroke was out of place. If my stories were paintings they'd be like, interesting finger paintings improvised in ten seconds, but this here is a MASTERPIECE.

Okay, a few lines of the MANY that stood out:

You had always thought of things in terms of paint. The colour would never be red, it would be crimson or scarlet. Your motherís hair would never be bushy, but painted onto her with a thick brush in need of being thrown away. The things falling out of your eyes now wouldnít be tears, but drops of water slipping over the edge of the pot. It drew you into obscure things.

You know what Andrea, the other curator, thinks of him. You know what other people think of him. But then it almost makes you want to think differently. One person canít be the subject of everyoneís hate, itís too much for them.

Dusk has already fallen across the city, the slight warmth of February is taken with it, and a chill has fallen among the streets. The only comforting thing is that unlike London, where the shadows tower over you as night falls, the buildings here are low, allowing some sort of light to seep through the dark.

A canvas is mounted on a stand, taking up most of your bedroom. The paintingís nearly done. The swaths of black are clouded over by the white, merged into something less threatening, less harsh, but you know there still needs to be something more.

Your breath is intermingled, you can smell the peppermint of his and the strawberry of yours. Theyíre merging though, coagulating, not like the black and white of Draco and the red of you. Perhaps things arenít as defined as you thought them to be.

Okay quote time over, and now to the bit where I SOB ABOUT HOW THIS ENDED. I mean, I accept it, and I can see why it had to end this way, but still. I've never been a fan of Draco and I was so wary of this story going in but you had me rooting for them nearly straight away, and their ending just broke my heart.

Okay, I apologise for the nonsensicalness of this review, but yeah I really did just love this, well done!! Thanks so much for entering my challenge, this is an incredible entry.


Author's Response: Maia! Can I just say wow to this review because it really was fantastic!

Ahahahahah, yeah, I don't really know how to respond to the Da Vinci comment because I always thought your description was like that so for you to say that to me is sort of jaw-dropping time for me :P I feel as if I need to start flailing around or something because that feels the most fitting thing right now!

I found it really interesting that you picked out those quotes because they were rather different ones to the ones other people have picked out, so it's great that the rest of it was interesting and descriptively good (if that makes sense...?) too!

Bahahaha, yeah, I love angst so I was just like nah happy endings are boring let's make it never work out! I'm so glad I did manage to make you root for them though because I personally didn't like the ship that much beforehand it was more of an experiment when I decided to write it, but it was so much fun I couldn't resist!

The review wasn't nonsensical, but rather fabulous if I'm being modest! Thank you so much for this fantastic review and the challenge, it was so much fun to enter and such a different and entertaining one too!


 Report Review

Review #6, by MissesWeasley123 falling away with you

30th January 2014:
Hey bro hey hey hey, I FINALLY came to review this, and like wait whut how. I just.


Gah, would you kill me if I told you that I really, really, REALLY don't like Rose in this? JUST BECAUSE. GAH, DRACO IS PERFECT WHY ROSE WHY. Honestly though, your characterization of Draco is amazing. I loved him. He already was such a complex character, and then he got older and you took that to a whole other level. He was even more detailed and his personality was brilliant. I think because of his age and everything, especially this one line he said that I will quote later on made the angsty feeling of his story even more angsty!

Okay, so now I will tell you why I didn't like Rose. You wrote her amazingly. She is.. young, and so alive yet bored. But it was almost sad watching her be in love with someone like Draco. I'm going to be that one reader who will say I didn't like their relationship, and I truly do think it's because of their age. Because I felt she was too young to understand love, and too innocent, and that maybe she made a mistake in loving Draco. I love Rose, but her decisions...It pains me to be shipping them SO HARD, but their age difference KILLS ME BECAUSE THEY CANNOT BE TOGETHER GAH. I truly felt so bad, the further they went, and then.. I knew they couldn't be together so their relationship pains me. Seriously, my heart is crushed forever and ever. I am in a love/hate mood with this pairing.


"No, not at all. If you think about it age is just a human thing, in the natural world it doesn't really exist." -- THIS LINE, THIS LINE THIS LINE. SEE YOU ARE PERFECT, GO WRITE AN OF, BECAUSE HONESTLY, THIS IS THE KIND OF QUOTE YOU SEE ON TUMBLR AND IT'S LIKE JOHN GREEN QUALITY SO YEAH.

Just think in twenty years, I'll be in my seventies. You would be looking after me; I would be an old man while you would still be young. It's fine to think about now, but sometimes you have to look past that and into the future. It's not fair for me to take away your life so you can act as a carer in my old age. --- This was what I was talking about. BLEND MY HEART INTO HEART JUICE GAH. This was so sad. I think it was here when I did start to feel bad and a bit disturbed that this was their relationship. Because it was so true. He truly was too old. And that was... sad.

Ron's scene was heartbreaking as well. He nearly had me persuaded that it was wrong, this pairing was wrong. It was maddening because I wanted them to be okay. I probably would love this ship, BUT THEN THEY WEREN'T TOGETHER IN THE END SO NOW I AM SAD.

Basically, I'm a pile of poo :( Seriously, I have no clue what this review was. Basically, ahem: this piece was amazingly written. Never, ever stop writing, you have true talent. And yes, I love the dragon and the rose as a pairing. They will crush my feels, but I love them, and thank you for a great story.

(hopefully this review didn't suck too much???)

Author's Response: HAI NADIA. whut, whut, whut is all I can say to this amazingness of the review I seriously wouldn't have answered it because it's so beautiful and I want to stare but a. that's rude, b. I have ocd when they're left for more than one day so here we are!

GAH, I KNOW DRACO'S JUST SO SMEXY LIKE ALL OLDER MEN COUGH BENEDICT COUGH. Gah (must stop saying this...) I'm so glad that you liked him because as he's such an iconic character of the series I was really worried I wouldn't really write him well because this was quite a few years after the war and he was dating a Weasley so I thought people would be all like no way jose that's too OOC.

Bahaha, I'm so glad that you don't like her because everyone else and it's just nah that's boring in a way I want some conflict because I don't like her all that much either. I'm so glad you picked up on her age though because I think you're the only one who did, because even though she loves him, she's almost playing with him too in a way. I feel as if Draco understands the two of them more than she ever will but I guess that's because she's younger. IMPOSSIBLE LOVE IS DA BEST LOVE THOUGH. It means we get Snape/Lily for you and Remus/Lily for me, and angst so yeah, I have no regrets for causing confusion about your shipping these two because it's fun to be evil :P


*dies inside and doesn't think the afterlife could ever be possible after that comment.* gah, I don't know what to say just John Green means a mass freak out in my head!

Hahaha, you're the first to say you were a bit disturbed about the two of them too, so yay for new comments :P Haha, I'm kinda of disturbed by it too even though I wrote it, and I guess writing Ron's scenes was my outlet for writing them. It was just fun because we saw it from Rose's perspective so we thought ooh yay isn't this great when it sort of warped our perception of it whereas Ron was sort of showing the real side to it.

I'm sure your not because according to my sister I'm one so there can't be that many piles of poo :P Gah, I don't know what to say, this review was just, just something else which almost made me want to cry in a way because it was so lovely, you're the best and this review certainly didn't suck, it was the opposite of that!


 Report Review

Review #7, by notreallyblonde44 falling away with you

28th January 2014:
Hello patronus_charm! I saw this up for nomination on TGS and I came to read it, and I'm glad I did!

I have to admit that I'm always hesitant when I read anything in second person. I tend to hate it, finding it distracting...maybe because I hate being told what to do? Haha. Regardless, I feel that you articulated the story really well in second person and I grew not notice my discomfort with second person throughout your piece, which is a sign of quality writing, because you really sucked me into this story! (And this ship Oh M G...I'm also writing in the rare pair challenge, so yikes do I have stiff competition! haha)

First, I love that the story played with time a bit because you got a feel for the entire relationship from start to beginning with the added hint of what's to come, but without being obvious. The sweet moments were punctuated with a fight, which really brought up the stakes of their relationship! Also, the fact that age is an essential trope of Rose/Draco's relationship, messing with the timeline just seems so appropriate and you did a nice job making everything fluid and coherent.

Then the imagery!! It is beautiful. I loved the way you make art central to Rose and Draco's story, especially Rose's character. It is interesting to see her perception through colors and lines this way. She sees the essence and beauty in everything this way, which makes her interest in Draco and his age seem realistic and not forced. And I love that she made him something! It really shows the reader how much she cares and how much effort she's putting into their relationship. I wonder what Draco's done with it now that they are over...

The only thing I want to know more about is Draco. He was such a wonderfully crafted mystery! I just wanted more and more...and I don't even like the guy haha. You presented Rose's emotions so clear and (given the POV limitations) his intentions were not as clear to me. It got me thinking about if he loved her, if was rebounding so to speak, or getting in touch with his youth in a roundabout way. Leaving his motives out definitely made me sympathize for Rose so much more! I think she really was enamored by Draco and it's sad that's she lost him/that their time together is over.

A few minor mistakes I noticed:
'than the many which bedecked the walls of Hogwarts.' - witch
'your cloak being thrown upon it as you ran ahed of him' - ahead

I feel that I have loads more to write about this one-shot, but my mind is blanking on compliments haha. I think you did a great job here and I now care about a ship I've never considered before. Thanks for sharing this story with us!


Author's Response: Hi Ellie, I'm so glad you came here too, because this review is so fantastic!

I know what you mean because I used to dislike it until I began writing in it and I've actually grown to really like it since then. I'm so glad that you thought it worked here though and that you liked it, as that's so great to hear :P Haha, I'm sure your entry will be great and I'll check it out once it's up :)

You're actually the first person to really comment on the punctuated timeline and the way we kept on going back to the fight so I thought no one really liked it, but hearing that you did is great and has calmed my fears over that :P It definitely was a lot of fun because it made me write a lot more introspectively because I already knew the outcome of it all.

Aw, thank you! I thought it would be fun to tie it all in and see how I coped with doing it all because I'm not a big art fan personally but trying out here was great fun! I'm glad that you picked up on how it made her view Draco differently because she just viewed him as an interesting person rather than an old man who was a former enemy which made it manageable. I think he would have kept it, and always loved Rose because they did have something different just too different it could never have really lasted.

Haha, I deliberately didn't reveal too much about Draco because he was always a bit of a mystery to me with the way you never fully knew his motives and how he always slunk around so that's why it was left like that. I think that's another reason why it drew Rose in because of all the mystery which surrounded his persona as it made him more of a story which is what an artist wants.

Thanks for pointing out those, I'm not too surprised there were some given the length of this one-shot :P Thanks for such a fantastic review too, it was a wonderful surprise, and it's made me think a lot more about Draco and Rose too!


 Report Review

Review #8, by Red_headed_juliet falling away with you

27th January 2014:
I really love this. I was hoping there would be one last bit with them actually together at the end. I never really liked Draco, always thought he had the potential to make up for his mistakes but never did, but this got me liking him! It's very detailed. I love the way Rose described everything from the artists perspective. I knew I'd love that bit when she talks about charcoal and chalk. (They're my favorite medium!) And the line about her rubbing at the charcoal in his eyes and it not fading or staining her fingers really hit home for me. The imagery in all of this is beautiful, you did a wonderful job.

The contrast between the segments with Ron and Hermione and the happy parts was well done. I was emotionally invested throughout the whole thing, and was really disappointed when it didn't work out. +[ But! I love a tragedy!

Overall, very well done. I don't have any CC, so sorry if you were looking for some. Lol.

Thanks for the swap! Until next time! RHJ

Author's Response: Hi there! Sorry to crush your dreams, but I'm a sucker for angst so it probably wasn't going to have a happy ending. I'm glad that I perhaps change your views on Draco, as that's so great to hear! Ooh, you're an artist? I dabbled at it when I had to do it at school but it was never too much success so writing it here was a strange experience for me :P I'm so glad that you liked all of the imagery associated with it though!

I'm so glad that you liked how it fitted all together, and yay for tragedy! It's somehow satisfying in a twisted way :P Haha, don't worry about the CC, it's nice to know there isn't any! Thanks for a great review :D


 Report Review

Review #9, by nott theodore falling away with you

26th January 2014:
Hi Kiana! So, I promised you that I'd be here, even though this is completely different to what I'd normally read, especially with the Draco/Rose ship!

This was really beautiful, Kiana. Every time I read one of your stories it seems to be an improvement on the last with your writing, and you always seem to pick the right style and narration to fit with what's going on in your story. The second person present tense worked really well here - I felt like it fit well with Rose, and showed some of her youthful optimism which seemed to be one of the main things that carried her relationship with Draco so far.

I loved your characterisation of Rose here as well. I've read quite a few different versions of her in the past, but I've never read her like this and I loved seeing it. She was so young and full of hope compared to Draco in this, and I felt like she had a very strong voice even though it was written in second person rather than first. You adapted the narrative to suit her so well, and I really enjoyed that. Rose felt very realistic, as well - she was bored with her job, but had her passion of art, she wanted to try new and exciting things. It fit well to build up an overall view of her character and create someone who was very likable.

I loved the fact that she worked in an art gallery! It's a profession I've never seen before in fanfiction and it fit brilliantly with her character. Your description all centred around art as well, and I thought it was really, really beautiful - poetic in places, when you use colour to symbolise so many different things. The opening especially grabbed me, the way you described Rose seeing life in art. It was really brilliant!

One thing I really enjoyed was the way that you used the story to explore all the different aspects of Draco and Rose's relationship, because it helped to make it much more believable. You didn't shy away from the age difference, either - you focused on it in places, especially the way that Rose was fascinated by the way that Draco had aged, his wrinkles and things like that. It made sense that he'd feel more conscious of it than her - that he'd feel older, even, because he's with someone so young. I was almost willing them to stay together in this, you wrote their relationship so well!

The meeting with Ron and Hermione was well written too, and I liked the way that you kept coming back to that in the story. Their reactions are entirely understandable - it's not just that he's a Malfoy and that he's a former Death Eater, it's also the fact that he's the same age as they are. I always imagine that Rose and Scorpius would have problems if they were together, as far as their parents are concerned, so Ron's reactions seemed to fit well with what would happen if Rose brought Draco home!

I think it was great that even though the fact they came from two 'rival' families, it was the age difference rather than their families that tore them apart. The meeting with Ron and Hermione might have been the catalyst for it, but I think they were kind of incompatible all along, they were just pretending that they weren't. I liked the fact that Draco was the one to end it too, not in a horrible way, but because he thought that's what would be best for Rose. Even though the ending was really sad and Rose was still hoping that they could continue their relationship, I think that it fit well with the story and felt like the right thing to happen.

This was a really brilliant one-shot, Kiana. Good luck with the challenges!

Sian :)

Author's Response: Hi Sian! I'm so glad that you came to read it as I know you don't go for non-canon ships and the fact that you liked it too means so much to me!

Aw, I'm so glad that you think I keep on improving it means so much to me! Haha, we should start a trend of writing in second person, as it is a lot of fun, I think it just gives a different perspective of things which is good in a ship like this. I'm glad you liked Rose as this is my third version of her and I try and write her differently each time which is a lot of fun! I'm glad you found her realistic too, because I was worried that her dating Draco would make her a little strange and all, but I suppose with her she almost wants that excitement in her life as nothing much is happening in it, so it was a good thing he came along.

Ha, yeah, it was a bit strange for me considering I'm terrible at it and visit an art gallery once a year at the most, but I needed a public place for them to meet in and as art attracts strange things it seemed to work for them. Haha, describing things in arty ways was so much fun because there are so many ways in which you can do it allowed me things to do it a different light.

I'm glad you picked up on how they viewed the age difference differently because no one had really looked at it in the same as you did. It was a lot of fun to explore the contrast of Rose's fascination and Draco's almost disgust at the age gap because it ties in with their backgrounds with Rose having a more liberal one and Draco's conservative one so it was strange to see it crop up in unexpected places like that. What? You were willing on a non-canon ship? Wow, that means so much to me to hear you say that! :D

I'm glad that you liked that because the whole doomed from the beginning thing was a little too fun for me because I just wanted to remind you a happy ending for the two could never happen *evil cackle*. Yeah, I think at least if it was Scorpius there would be a little more open with him being the same age and only a child of Draco's, but the fact this is Draco who is the same age as them they just wouldn't ever be able to deal with it. I think if Rose had dated Dean or someone else the same age she probably would have come across the same problems there too.

I'm glad that you liked the break-up, because I wanted to show that Rose and Draco were independent enough to look past those differences, but the age gap was something that would continually haunt them and they would never free themselves of that one. I'm glad you thought it fitted well because right up until I posted it I was still toying with the idea of changing it and making it happy, but that wouldn't have been as fun :P

Thank you for such a brilliant review which really made me smile, Sian!


 Report Review

Review #10, by teh tarik falling away with you

22nd January 2014:
asldkjalkdjf Kiana aslkfjlcisacm zalkscjsicv

^(Translation: Hi Kiana, I'm here to review your challenge entry. Thank you for entering!)

Oh my goodness, where do I even begin with this fic. OK, first of all, I loved this. Loved it from start to finish. Loved what you did with the ship. This is the kind of story I love reading: one that not only focuses on the romance, but explores the whole ship in detail, the characters, how they fit into each other's lives. I was sold on the ship right from the early part of this fic, and this is saying A LOT because I do not generally like Draco Malfoy as a character; I simply don't find him too interesting, and I don't read a lot of fic about him. BUT you've changed that now. I love your portrayal of this older, sadder Draco (still hasn't lost the smirk, though); actually, did I say "older sadder Draco"? Scrap that. He does become sadder and more resigned as the fic progresses, but in the beginning, there's still something very hopeful and nearly optimistic about him; he still has enough zest to actually hit on Rose in the art gallery. :P I love that you don't shy away from showing his age, and it does make sense that Rose would be fascinated with how much older he is (Rose, stop staring at my wrinkles! I thought I told you not to! LOL, has got to be my favourite line :P )

And Rose! ♥ Second person is just the right narrative POV to use here, because, honestly, you're very very good at pulling off this difficult POV, and I salute you for this. And your use of second person, I dunno, it really gave Rose's character that sense of youthful hope, bordering on naivete, and it wsas wonderful to be able to slip into her frame of thoughts. Second person is also a fabulous way to explore difficult situations, like this tricky ship, for instance. Rose is beautifully written in this fic; there's a lovely light sense of humour with her thoughts:

You're patrolling the corridors up and down, round and round, doing the normal blah blah stuff a curator usually does.

I'm not staring at them. I am merely lying on my side with my eyes happening to be in that direction.

and etc.

The contrasts between her and Draco are very clear, and the latter sums it up well with this sentence: I was a Death Eater, and youíre the sign of hope which is meant to correct my mistakes. Absolutely wonderful line, and it honestly tugged at my heart because at that point, I really really wanted the relationship to work, I really wanted Draco to give the whole thing another chance, to not simply be resigned about the whole thing, to not succumb to his damned age, nooo... :( :( Speaking of their relationship, I love how you developed it from start to finish: the small moments of happiness that they share, the way you continually emphasise the age gap, and yet at the same time show how irrelevant it is. And of course, I love all the imagery of paint and the vivid colours of this fic: the stark charcoal and white associated with Draco, and the exuberant splash of colour across the monochrome, which is Rose. I had so many favourite descriptive lines, and the imagery really added a special touch to your fic, to their relationship as a whole.

OK, I think I've rambled on a fair bit. Hope I haven't been too garbled, and that there's something faintly coherent in this review. I loved this to bits; I might be a bit more of a Draco/Rose shipper than I was yesterday, and I have you and this lovely piece of writing to thank. And thank you for entering my challenge; this story has been an absolute joy to read ♥


Author's Response: *hides in shame due to taking an age to respond* gah, I hope this late response is fine, I'm so sorry it took so long as this review was amazing and deserved to be responded to right away!

Gah, I don't even know how to begin to respond to this review as it's just so fantastic, and it's from you who I look up to in the obscure ships world so yeah, I'm probably going to blabber away a lot, but hopefully it will make some sort of sense :P Haha, I have a soft spot for Draco so I'm glad I can perhaps win you over to his side, as he is a lot of fun to write! I'm so glad that you liked his portrayal and the hitting on Rose in an art gallery sort of thing, I just couldn't resist and it was so much fun doing it because yolo (ha, I can't believe I put that in a review response :P). I'm glad that age remarks were ok too because I loved throwing them I was worried it went a bit overboard :P

Aw, thank you! I don't know why I like that POV so much, I just feel as if it brings a different element to the story and the other two didn't really sound right but this one worked! I was always do find that's the case with second person, hmnm, now I'm having plunnies of whole novels in second person which wouldn't be too great :P Gah, I'm just so glad that you liked it so much and I can't get over how awesome these comments. Yeah, I'm a blabbering mess right now... :P

I'm so glad that you liked that line because while I didn't want their history of the families and the war to be the main focus of the story, because that would make the ship even more impossible I felt it had to be somewhere and their break-up seemed like a good place for it to be. I wanted it to work too, but then I thought after all the people Draco hurt beforehand he wouldn't want to do it to anymore people so this was a form of redemption in a way for him. Yay, I'm glad that you liked the relationship because it was surprisingly fun to write because I could go really abstract at times just to make it work, and it's definitely made me want to write more obscure characters and ships.

It's cool, I rambled on for a fair bit too, so we're quits now! It was a really coherent review too, so don't worry about that! Haha, I wasn't a Rose/Draco shipper beforehand either, I just thought it would be fun with the whole Draco/Hermione, Rose/Scorpius love going on but then twisting it, but I really want to read more now!

Ok, I've been blabbering away, again! Thank you so much for this fantastic and amazing and everything review, it truly made my day! ♥


 Report Review

Review #11, by potterfan310 falling away with you

22nd January 2014:
First off I love Draco/Rose as a pairing even though I am a huge Scorpius/Rose shipper. And I've yet to see one on here until now that it.

And second I've never really read second person but I'm intrigued by it now :D

The whole Draco/Rose pairing intrigue's me and despite the age I think it works. I LOVE all the colour and painting references, especially that even though Rose loves art she still does it despite not getting a lot of money. She does it because of her passion!

Rose working in an art gallery is unusual (especially it being a wizarding one) but it works! I like how everything to her is boring

I love how just after that one trip Draco returns more and more times, just to see Rose (and maybe the art :p). The Malfoy family having been destroyed after the war is interesting and how Rose doesn't really care much for Scorpius (As they're normally friends/enemies/together) as well the whole thing being focused on them rather than their backgrounds or families.

The fact that they're both calm around each other and not rushing is so nice to see. And I think with their families as well as the age gap taking it slow is a good thing.

The whole thing flows so smoothly, shifting from scene to scene and it's so beautiful. In fact the whole piece is beautifully written, not just the story but Draco and Rose as characters too.

Ron and Hermione reacting badly was inevitable really. Poor Rose though, I just want to hug her when Ron storms off. Rose thinking that despite everything their relationship could work, the fact she has to justify this to her parents that it's not about age it's what you feel/what connects you and the other person is so sweet but sad at the same time as she knows they would never accept him as they would if he was a normal boy her age and not a Malfoy.

I feel bad for Rose that Draco left her to talk to her parents, sure it might have been worse if he was with her but if he loved, he'd have done it. The end is so sad, the fact they both love and care for each other, share an interest and passion for art, can speak about whatever they feel the need to together and yet the one thing they cannot get over is the age gap. The fact that Draco thinks of Rose as his hope is adorable, he's thought of a future they could have yet he believes he's doing the right thing by saying goodbye to her. He cares for Rose so much that he doesn't want her to have to be his carer when he knows she would do it, it's bittersweet.

Rose/Draco is a pairing that may or may not work and I love it all the same. This whole story is amazing, the descriptions, the characterisations and the whole flow, it's like listening to a song in a way.

"He was the dragon and you were the rose, and only the two of you will be able to understand what art can truly do." - The last line is beautiful yet slightly heartbreaking and it's one of my favourite's from the story. I said before that it's beautiful and it truly is, you have certainly done justice to a ship that is rarely seen/shipped by others. I love the whole thing!!


Sophie :)

Author's Response: Hi Sophie! I feel so bad taking a while to respond to this amazing review, but hopefully this response can make up for it!

Haha, I never actually thought much about the ship before writing it, but if I do see another story like this I would definitely want to read this. I really like second person actually, it creates a really different dynamic to the story and I really recommend trying it out!

Haha, I thought that the whole idea of an art gallery was a little unorthodox it would fit with the whole feel of the ship. Plus, when I was trying to figure out how on earth these two could meet the only place was a public one, hence her working in an art gallery!

Hehehe, I think you're right about him coming back for Rose and not the art, because she does have this flair about her which draws you in. I'm glad you picked up the lack of care for the family, because admittedly I am a massive Scorose shipper so it does tend to make an appearance, but I think stepping out of my comfort zone was fun because it did make me have to think about it another way.

Aw, I'm so glad that you liked the overall structure and flow of the one-shot. I always spilt it into chunks because it makes editing it a whole lot easier because there's only a small bit to work on, but I always wonder if it does disrupt the flow but hearing this has calmed me down a lot!

I totally get what you mean with the whole Rose vs. her parents thing. I think the thing is with love and especially this type of love is that you only really get it once you're in it, so it makes her battle even harder. Plus, the fact I love making my character's lives miserable and breaking their hearts may just have something to do with it...

Gah, I'm still so tied about Draco at the end even though I wrote this :P I think he just wants the best for her throughout and given the complications he has with her family it's sometimes what others assume is the worst for her. But at least at the end when he knows he has to end it, he does it for her, which I think is really sweet because it shows how he can redeem himself in the end. Gah, it's so sad but in my little headcanon for the story they continue to exchange letters and see one another now and then so it's not all bad.

Aw, I'm glad you liked that line because the final one gave me so much grief it's good to see it was worth it. Maybe this story can lead a revolution and make it more popular because it is such a fascinating one to write and read!

Thank you for such an amazing review, I seriously cannot express how great it was to receive this, Sophie! :D


 Report Review

Review #12, by Aphoride falling away with you

22nd January 2014:
Hey Kiana! Just dropping by - I saw you mention this on the forums and was curious enough that I just had to stop by! :)

First off, it's a really interesting pairing! Draco is a lot older than Rose and they don't seem like they'd really interact so much, you know? But you've really made it work, somehow, and it's angsty and sort of solemn and kinda reminds me of a watercolour painting, with all the art references.

I loved Rose's character, as well, I thought she was so realistic - bored in her job, doing things she enjoys but isn't making that much money at, old enough to know what she wants but young enough that she doesn't think in the same way as Draco does, and about the consequences as much. I like that it's so easy to tell she's a young woman, independent and clever, and she's very much herself, if that makes sense. Like she's not defined by anything in particular - things make up her, instead. Anyway, in short, she's a fabulous character ;)

Draco is so good here, too! You write him so well! I love how you don't really talk much about their families, instead focusing on them - it works so well - and how his family is sort of destroyed, and his life is still really not great after the war, despite it being so many years. It's such a bleakly realistic (if that makes sense) portrayal of him, and it makes me feel kinda sad for him, you know, that things didn't work out for him. I loved the touches of him we know from the books you put in - the references to the fights with Ron and Hermione, the mention of his mother, the smirks.

It was so smooth and solemn, the way you pulled them together. Like, they're interested in each other, but it's sort of a slow, calm sort of thing, rather than a rushed, passionate affair. I loved that - most relationships in fanfiction are the rushed, passionate sort and I liked that this was sort of calmer and more sedate but still deeply emotional. I'm probably not making any sense, haha...

The ending was so bittersweet! So disappointing that they care about each other so much, they get on so well and then everything just sort of ends, because in the end it just won't work. I loved how Ron and Hermione reacted badly, and Rose was sure it could work anyway, and how Draco went away and thought about it and made a decision based more on the logical ideas of their corresponding ages and the future and what would happen then. It's sweet because it shows he's thought about the prospect of a future for them, and that he cares about her because he doesn't want to make her do that, but also so bitter for her because it's not the way she looked at it or looks at it, even at the end.

Gah, conflicting views! I love, as well, how even though it's angsty, it's not an overload of angst, you know? There's just enough angst and just enough romance and it all flows so beautifully. Your writing is so gorgeous here, as well - so many lovely sentences and descriptions...

So yeah, I really enjoyed this! This was so lovely and bittersweet and solemn. Really, really wonderful.

Laura xx

Author's Response: Aw, thanks so much for coming by and reviewing this and the favourite author too, it really means so much to me and I want you to know that! ♥

Haha, yes, I think that's why rare pairings are so much fun because you really have to try and figure out how on earth can this ship possibly ever make sense and that's the best thing about writing them, so I'm so glad that you thought it fitted together.

I'm so glad that you liked Rose because I was trying to show her as this young and naive girl who never had to experience war unlike Draco, but I thought she almost came off a little too free spirited at times :P Haha, yes I think she would definitely be independent and I'm glad you picked up on that because it's one link to Hermione as she always looked past former prejudice so I guess that's why Rose does too.

Aw, thank you and I'm glad that you liked the lack of family mentions too because I feel as if that drama of the Weasleys and the Malfoys is brought into next gen a little too often at times and sometimes we just need to forget about it now and then. But poor Draco though, I really need to be nicer to him in stories but as horrible as it sounds I don't think he had a too happy life after the war because those things would always come back and haunt him. I'm glad that you liked the touches to the books though because I felt something like that was needed given how strange the pairing was :P

Haha, you are making sense don't worry at all! I know what you mean because it may just be me but whenever I've been in a relationship I always knew the person before and knew that I liked them, because that just makes sense in real life so why not in fanfiction too? :P Plus, I think Draco will always be too reserved to go leaping into things!

I know, I was toying right up until the last minute whether it should be happy or not but in the end, I think while they lasted for a while it could never be something forever. I'm glad that you liked Draco's reaction because I wanted to show the softer and more reflective side that I imagine he had after suffering throughout the war. Gah, hearing all what you're saying makes me want to change it to a happy one but it just wouldn't work.

Gah, I don't even know how to respond to the last few comments as they're just so lovely and amazing! All I can say really is thank you for such an amazing review which is still making me smile days later, you really are great Laura! :D


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login