Reading Reviews for The Second Act
  
29 Reviews Found

Review #1, by Panda Weasley  Act One

4th May 2014:
Hello! I think this story is really great and I love the plot line. I love all of your characters and the romance story between Victoire and Teddy. I think that the fact you didn't include what happens to Teddy and why she is now marrying Dennis makes the reader really want to keep reading (At least I do!). I do think however you could put in little hints so that your reader isn't totally confused.
Another little thing that I noticed was that in the beginning of the story the transitions between her thoughts and her memories are a little confusing. Later on you understand it but you might want to think of doing something to make that more clear.
My favorite two scenes were when Teddy and Victoire first fall in love and when Teddy is talking to Harry. That being said, I loved it all! I don't really have anything that I would change besides what I already told you. Excellent job!

~Panda Weasley
Blue vs. Bronze Review Battle

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for such a nice review.

I don't really have any plans to do edits on this right now, but if I do, I'll take your suggestions into consideration.

I really liked writing those scenes.

Thanks again!


 Report Review

Review #2, by newgenerationlover Act Two

4th May 2014:
Hi! Here from the review exchange! So sorry it has taken me so long to get to this review but life just got crazy the past couple days.

Now, on to the story! First off I would like to say that I really and truly enjoyed this story. It was beautifully written and the characters really came to life within the pages. I really liked your attention to detail. I noticed it especially in the second chapter, aka the intermission, with mentions such as them reading children's books together after Ted's death. These little tidbits made it all the more personal to the reader.

Ted's death was portrayed very well. I even teared up a little bit. You did a great job with showing Vic's emotions over the whole situation and I thought that you showed just the right amount of her grieving to show that it was there, but to not focus on it and to make the piece more happy with Dennis showing up.

Overall, you did an amazing job. You should be very proud!

xoxo

Author's Response: Hello!! Don't worry about the delay, I've had swaps go months before, haha.

I'm glad you liked this. It's probably one of my favorite things I've written.

Aww! It's always weird to me as a writer, because tearing up is usually a bad thing but it's great for an author to hear.

Thanks for such a nice review!


 Report Review

Review #3, by jessicalorewrites Intermission

4th May 2014:
Hey,

I really love how you've adapted and used the term 'intermission' for this chapter. It works exceedingly well! It's kind of the inbetween chapter; the winding path between Teddy and Dennis and her old life and the new one to come.

I can't believe Teddy died but I guess it had to happen : Charlotte and Remus' relationship during those moments was adorably cute. It's nice to see they get along.

Victoire's career (?) as a historian is very unique. I've never, ever seen a character have that job in a fic so I'm pleasantly surprised! Also, the Battle of Hogwarts book is such a creative idea and I'm glad that people like Draco's side got to be incorporated too. And the way it helped bring Victoire and Dennis together! :D

Just about to read the next and final (?) chapter. I truly adore this fic!

Thank you,

- Jess xo

Author's Response: Hello again!

I actually didn't originally have this chapter, and I was happy with how it fit into the story. I've been getting pretty positive feedback, which is always nice to validate choices.

I ship Teddy and Victoire, so I needed a way for Dennis to come into the picture without breaking them up. In my defense, they did get at lot of time together.

I'm glad you liked her career!

Thanks for the review!

-Georgia





 Report Review

Review #4, by jessicalorewrites Act One

4th May 2014:
Hey,

Wow, so right until the very end I didn't know that the Dennis mentioned before was dear Dennis Creevey. I'm finding this pairing a little strange to comprehend, bearing in mind he would be 17-18 years older than Victoire but hey, it's not completely impossible or unrealistic.

Aside for that, I'm in love with Victoire and Teddy's relationship. The idea that Bill is so terrifying, especially to Harry, is so cute. I also think Harry's method of proposing for Ginny is very original and unique! Well thought out.

I'm eager to see how the Victoire/Dennis story is going to continue. Added to favourites and just about to go onto chapter two now!

Thanks for a great read,

- Jess xo

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing!

This was for the rare pair challenge, so I was given two random characters. The plot of this story circles largely around me making the age difference work.

I'm glad that you liked it, and thanks for the favorite!

-Georgia


 Report Review

Review #5, by marauderfan Act Two

28th April 2014:
For our swap!

Aw, Iris is cute in the kind of way that only four year olds can get away with, interrupting the tension at the family dinner table by saying she doesn't like the meal :p It felt quite realistic though, a typical four year old (and a typical mum's reaction to that)

Charlotte's reaction to the news about her mother remarrying seemed realistic as well - certainly not everyone would be happy and it makes sense that it takes some people longer to move on. I'm glad she came around in time though.

Aw, I really like the way you handled this - how she feels Teddy's presence at the wedding and it's as if he's spirit is telling her he's happy that she's moving on and that she's happy.

The whole way you wrote their relationship is beautiful. Like you cover a lot of years in this, but it doesn't feel like you glossed over it. You pointed out specific, shining moments in a happy relationship (two relationships, if you count the first chapters) and it just flows so nicely. I love the things you picked out, too - like the dancing in the gold tent and the fruit tarts and the Christmases. And I like that you didn't shy away from pointing out how they still both love their first spouses, but it doesn't diminish their love any less when they take time to think about their previous lives. Its neat how you did that.

Ooh, I loved the end too, and I like that you chose Iris for that part. It's kind of sad that Victoire and Dennis were separated in the end, but it would have been sad if each of them were separated from their first spouses too, so that would have been sad either way, I think. But you didn't make it sound sad, it was just the way life was, and after a life where she loved two people so well, it was just a really nice ending. The whole story really, was fantastic. Great job and I'm so glad I read this!

Author's Response: Hello! Thanks for the swap!

I always look forward to your reviews. You're so nice and sweet and thorough and you never fail to put a smile on my face!!

I'm glad you liked Iris and her shenanigans.

I worked really hard on trying to make Charlotte as developed as I could, considering that she's a relatively minor character. She just had a very close father/daughter bond, so it took her some time to come around.

I thought I had to go back to Teddy at the wedding. Since the first chapter she was sitting in the dressing room reminiscing about their relationship, I didn't see how she'd be able to get down the aisle without thinking about him.

I was ambivalent about the ending, but after the fact I think I'm really glad that I included it. Most of the reason they were buried with their first spouses is that I think that's usually how it's done. I didn't mean for it to be terribly sad, so I'm glad you thought it was a nice ending.

Thanks so much for sticking around to read the ending, and for such a lovely review!!

-Georgia


 Report Review

Review #6, by teh tarik Act Two

5th April 2014:
Hello there, kenpo. I'm finally, finally, finally here to review the last chapter of your challenge entry. Eep. Well, that took awhile. :P Apologies for being so late with this, but I kind of fell out of reviewing for some time. And congratulations for finishing the story before the deadline!

I absolutely loved this chapter; it was gorgeous, the way you developed the assigned Dennis/Victoire ship, the lovely details you included about the wedding, and the very careful creation of Victoire's family - most of these characters are OCs, but I think you handled them very well. I particularly liked the way you wrote Charlotte, how she doesn't initially take very well to her mother's second engagement and marriage. It was a realistic reaction, and it did suggest that she's still quite upset by the death of her dad, Teddy.

It's wonderful to see Victoire and Dennis surrounded by this loving and supportive family matrix; there are so many generations within their extended family. And I love how Victoire finds Dennis adventurous and exciting, how he breathes new life into her solitude. Ah, I was squeeing a bit there, certainly!

Dennis and I danced to our favorite song under a tent of gold. I saw the rest of my life in his eyes and I felt at home in his arms.

^ These are some of my favourite lines of the whole story. Absolutely beautiful, and the tone of your writing is so earnest and completely honest in its simplicity. Victoire's narration, while sounding like a mature woman, also radiates a kind of youthful energy and plenty of hope and optimism, and it's just so completely easy to fall in love with her character, to empathise with her.
I also adored the final sentence of the story, the inscription on the grave; it's a brilliant line.

The fact that Victoire and Dennis are buried apart does make me a little sad. Of course choosing where they are to be buried is hardly going to be an easy task, seeing as both of them were previously married, and doted on their respective spouses when still alive.

Anyway, I think this is an absolutely fabulous story. You've done a wonderful job depicting a relationship from start to end - two relationships in fact. Great work; this was a pleasure to read. I'll be posting the challenge results up, soon-ish. Thank you so much once again, for participating! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Hello!! I'm finally finally responding to this!

I was really happy that I finished by the deadline... I had so much fun writing for this challenge!!

I'm so glad you enjoyed it!! Like I just said, I adored writing for this challenge. I try to develop realistic characters and relationships, so I'm glad you pointed out that you liked the way I wrote Charlotte. I do think I ended up giving Remus the short end of the character development stick but hey... not all our characters can be as fleshed out as we'd like, right?

With the burials... I think that's just the most realistic. In this situation, where both people lost their first spouse, I can't think of any time they weren't buried with their first, unless there weren't any burial plots. I'm now reminded that my boyfriend's great-grandmother buried her second husband ON TOP of her first... And then she's on top of them... they had to go and dig deeper... it's like a 12ft grave...

BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Wow, I have a really high fever so I'm a little addled.

Thanks so much for writing such nice and thorough reviews!! They've really been a pleasure to read and reread!


 Report Review

Review #7, by marauderfan Intermission

27th March 2014:
OMGILOVETHIS

Beautiful chapter!! Seriously this is so good! The emotions and passage of time and attention to detail and gah just everything.

Firstly, the organisation that Teddy set up to help werewolves, called MOONY... that is PERFECT and exactly what I would expect from him.

Victoire's thoughts throughout this were beautiful too, I liked when she was looking at the obituary and how 134 words fails to say everything she feels, and when she was hoping Teddy got to see his parents on the other side. You wrote the progression of her grief really well too, from the way she tought she wouldn't survive, to her family coming to help in any way they could. I loved -LOVED- the section when you described Charlotte's art, how it was her way of dealing with her grief, and it helped Victoire out as well.

It was great when Vic decided to write the book and found her passion for history again, and how it helped her move on. What a perfect way for her to meet Dennis, too!

Aw, their date was cute. I could absolutely see Dennis being the youthful type even when he's old. You've totally got me convinced on this weird ship.

I think the best thing about this chapter was the way you wrote the progression of grief and recovery, and the way she is able to love again. Reallg great job on this chapter 10/10!

Author's Response: Ahhh, thank you so much!! This review made me smile so much, and I'm smiling again while rereading it!

MOONY took SO long to come up with. And the name still doesn't make too much sense. But I'm stubborn.

I'm glad you liked how she met Dennis. I was worried it would seem a little bit forced, but it seems like it's gone over pretty well. Whew!

Yay!!! I totally ship them too. Even though I didn't think I would.

Thank you so much. You're seriously just so sweet. Reading your reviews makes me smile very very very much!!


 Report Review

Review #8, by marauderfan Act One

25th March 2014:
Saw this was for the weird ship challenge and had to read it, haha. I've come to appreciate really odd pairings recently.

"Why do you look like you're in trouble with the Ministry?" Lololol. Also I love that Harry put the ring in the Snitch... because she was playing the Chudley Cannons... this conversation between Harry and Teddy is too good. Love it.

I like the way you pointed out the highlights of Teddy and Victoire's life together. The changing POVs was a nice touch too, with the first person being present-day Victoire getting remarried, and the third person like snapshots of the past.

Ps, I think it's awesome that you wrote a story in which the main character gets remarried. In a fandom where almost every canon character finds their soulmate and one true love by the time they're 18, it's quite refreshing to see something else, where characters can fall in love multiple times. It makes it more realistic.

This is really great, and an original idea - I'll definitely be reading on! Nice job!

Author's Response: I had so much fun with the weird ships. I originally got Umbridge and the assassin Death Eater from PoA. Can't remember his name. I was thinking for a minute about doing some weird star-crossed lovers thing before crawling back to the forums to change.

I'm glad that you understood the flash-backs, and then that she's in the present.

Teddy and Victoire is my headcanon, so when I got my rare ship, I had to make Victoire and Teddy a thing first... I just... I can't disobey headcanon unless it's for a collab or parody...

Thanks so much for the review!


 Report Review

Review #9, by LightLeviosa5443 Act Two

20th March 2014:
Hey lady! I'm here for the Review Battle!

Um, so, this totally isn't cheating even though I already read this chapter when you were worried that it wasn't good. But, um, I love this.

And you know I love this. You're not allowed to do cute cuter than me, okay? I love the way you describe Vic walking down the aisle. I love the way that you put the curtain call in there, and the little line at the end. I think I like that one original line more than the four lines you had previously.

I'm dying of cuteness over this story, right now. I really really am. Like. C U T E . Why are you writing the cutest things ever right now? Like gah.

This review doesn't even make any sense. There's zero substance to it. I'm sorry. I'm a bad person. I promise I'll leave more meaningful reviews from now on. Well, I'll try. Whether or not I succeed..

ANYWAY. You should write more next-gen. Especially with this level of adorable. I approve.

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: I need to be better about responding to reviews!!!

Eh, it's not cheating! And thanks you :)

I don't do cute cuter than you, Miss Fluff.

Hahaha, I write many nonsensical reviews! It's okay!!

Well I'm doing a collab as a sequel to Birdie, and I'm thinking about a next-gen Novella, so... maybe.


 Report Review

Review #10, by Aphoride Act Two

15th March 2014:
Hey there - stopping by from the BvB review battle! Snatched a bit of spare time to read the last chapter of this, because it felt so strange to leave it incomplete, at least in my mind.

Victoire's characterisation is lovely, as always! I love how nervous she is about big decisions and important meals and things, despite her age. Age doesn't always mean a lack of nervous, just generally better handling of them, I think, so I liked that. I also loved how one of her children wasn't quite so accepting - I mean, seeing your mum remarry four years after your dad died must be a strange thing to experience, even if you know that your mum is blissfully happy, I guess. It lent a really realistic vibe to it - and Bill's annoyance with his grand-daughter too.

I loved how again you focused on the important things - like the wedding and the dinner - and then added in the sense of their relationship with details and little things. It's such a lovely way to do it and your writing really shines in it :)

The details, as before, were lovely. I loved the mention of apple pies (making me hungry... :P) and the 'problems' of what to do with them. It was in sense a much lighter chapter than before, and you never told us anything, showing us instead which was great!

I loved the comparisons between Teddy and Dennis. I loved how you showed that her relationship with Dennis didn't mean she didn't miss Teddy and didn't mean that she forgot him and moved on without any effects, but that it worked despite them, in a way, and that they were two completely different relationships and love in two different circumstances and ways. Sort of not more or less, but different.

The ending section was really sweet, too. I liked how it was Iris who was there, and the idea that Victoire and Dennis had asked to be buried in different places, with their first wives/husbands, despite their own marriage. It was sort of bittersweet.

But yeah, in total, this is a really sweet, thoughtful story and I've really enjoyed reading it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey! This was such a lovely review and it puts a huge smile on my face everytime I come back and read it!

I'm really happy that you liked Victoire's characterization. Obviously, it's a challenge for me to write a character so much older than me, who had gone thorugh so much more than me... so I'm just really pleased that you thought she was realistic.

Charlotte... she just really loved her Dad and doesn't want anyone to try to replace him... not that Dennis ever would. She can be immature.

Thank you so much for commenting on the details! I'm always really impressed with stories that give good detail, so when people mention that I give good detail, it makes me ridiculously happy!

I was really worried that the comparisons would be too obvious, so I'm glad you liked it!

I'm also glad you liked the ending. I was really unsure about it.

Victoire is sort of based off of my grandmother (I'm just realising this now...), who was married twice. She's still alive, but her second husband was buried next to his first wife and she plans of being buried next to my Grandpa. (It's actually really strange... I'll take her to the cemetary to put flowers on his grave, and she gets really excited, saying "look! Right here is where I'll be buried, isn't it pretty? And there's my brother-in-law, and your Great-Uncle will go there! And your Mom and her brothers can go right here!!"

Sorry. I rambled.

Again, thanks so much for reading and reviewing this. Your reviews have meant so much to me!


 Report Review

Review #11, by LightLeviosa5443 Intermission

11th March 2014:
I am so sorry that I am such a horrible person and it's taken me this long to answer your review request and read this. I'm a terrible friend. Don't hate me.

But that aside. HOLY AMAZEBALLS WHAT WAS THIS? I mean, aside from perfect. Like. Gah. I love this. What. I can't even. You did cute better than I do cute and I hate you for that. (but I love you for writing this story).

I loved the way that Ron got all awkward when Vic hugged Scorpius and that he was the connection that sent her to Dennis. You did a really great job setting up the basis for that. I also really loved Scorpius; I think that it was so cute the way that Scorpius went and got his fathers' diary and gave it to Vic because he trusted her to write about his father in a proper way. Just really beautiful.

I did notice two things, that have probably already been pointed out to you, but I'm going to mention them anyways because I'm just that kind of gal.
- When she's talking about Teddy dying she says "I was there, and the kids." it reads a little weird. Maybe if you made it "...and so were the kids."?
-And then in the line where she said she cried all the time after Teddy dies, right after that sentence you have her needing to sign papers and you say "...paper that I needed.." I think you meant papers not paper.

I hate CC, they're so evil. So now I'm going to answer your AOC and talk about all of my favorite parts of the story. Wee!!

I think that this chapter fits so beautifully with the first chapter. I think it was a really really lovely transition between the chapters (Because I've already read Act II) and I really liked what you did with it. I think that it gets you from point A to point B efficiently, but with all of these cute details that made me cry and tear up more than once.

I think you did a wonderful job describing Victoire as she went through her life. I think that the way you moved from how she reacted to everything from his diagnosis to his death. To coping after his death, and then writing the book. And then finally the way you introduced Dennis, developed that relationship, and had him propose. I think it was all absolutely lovely, and I loved seeing Vic in all of those different scenarios and how her state of mind changed with all of them.

Now for everything I loved (be scared)
-Teddy's obituary, oh my goodness. This was so very well written and so believable. Did you look up how to write an obit or something? Cause W-O-W.

-The line that you wrote "It made the assumption that I, his wife, would survive." that was so beautiful. I was literally tearing up. At work. Oops, but still, gah. This was just so touching and heart breaking.

-When Vic is sitting in the sitting room looking at all of Charlotte's paintings, I think your description in that scene is amazing. Like, I have no idea how you wrote it with so much feeling and emotion and just what. It was really really lovely. It was raw and human and believable and I felt Victoire's pain and longing to feel better.

-I think that you did a really wonderful job with everyone comforting Victoire after Teddy died, as well. The way the kids climbed into bed with her, the way that Charlotte stayed around to keep an eye on her, and her siblings came over to help her out. It was so beautiful and cute. Even though that shouldn't be cute.

-I said this above, but I'll say it again, the way that you had Victoire and Dennis met was so cute. I really loved it and it was such a creative idea to bring them together.

-When Victoire admits that the single moment that she and Dennis became romantically involved was at the restaurant. It was so lovely. I really enjoyed reading the transition from sad and grieving to moving on and coping to friendship to falling in love slowly. It was so precious.

-OH MY GOD. "all of a sudden we were kissing each other goodbye as if we'd been doing it for our whole lives" WHAT IS THIS CUTENESS. WHY ARE YOU DOING CUTENESS BETTER THAN ME? I JUST CAN'T EVEN. I literally was sobbing at this point. Which was really embarassed because people came in and I was like okay then.

-Um, the way you ended the chapter. I'm dead, I'm just so dead. Stop doing this to me. It's too painfully cute. Like, just the fact that so much love came through in that scene. The fact that Dennis would go to the Selkie's and tell them how Victoire honored them. And then he got them to dance for her, and one waved. And he was just looking at her. I literally don't even have coherent words for this chapter. It was so so so lovely. Like. Gah. Done. If I wasn't crying before, I am now. (kidding I was like crying the whole time you meanie)

So this review was really long, but I'm hoping it made up for the wait. I loved this. Write Vic for the rest of your life because what. Just what. I can't.

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: I don't even know how to respond to this review because it's so nice!!! You're the sweetest!!!

Editing is the bane of my existence. (Which is why I love beta'ing so much...?)

I've gotten comments on the obit! Yeah, I looked that up!! Haha, the article started with something along the lines of "first, I'd like to offer condolences. Writing an obituary is never for a happy occasion blah blah" and I'm just thinking "oh, the things writers research..."

Don't be sad, be happy!!!

I'm glad you liked the way Victoire and Dennis grew into their relationship. I thought it offered a nice contrast between Dennis and Teddy, since with Teddy there was a clear defining moment that they became romantically involved.

This is a comparatively short response, but I just don't even what to say but thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!


 Report Review

Review #12, by love_is_magic_ Intermission

26th February 2014:
Can I just say how great it is that you made Teddy's organization named MOONY. Well, it's great.

"the opportunity to see Harry Potter grieve might have drawn unwanted attention." Hmmm... probably true. Good call, Victorie.

Gosh, you really capture her grief so well. It's heartbreaking, losing a life partner, and you really make the readers feel it, too :) (btw: I KNEW IT! I knew he died! Totally called it!)

Okay, so I'm tearing up right now, but I have a quick correction. I think you meant to say 'there were papers that I needed to sign'. Just a quick correction.

Wow, the Battle of Hogwarts book is such a great idea! So great, I think we should start a petition for JK Rowling to write one!

Hahaha I love the random Rose/Scorpius cameo.

Oh so sneaky how you get Victorie and Dennis to meet! That's so smart, I honestly don't know how you thought of that.

Wow, that was just so sweet. You've done a really good job of forcing the readers to love Dennis, even though they're still grieving Teddy. Great job!

Christy

Author's Response: Once again, thank you so much for reading and reviewing this!!! You're so nice!!!

Okay. MOONY took so long to come up with, but I'm really stubborn and once I had that idea I couldn't let it go.

Uggh there are so many typos in this I really need to go edit it.

Yeah. I felt really bad killing off Teddy. But to me, Teddy and Victoire are head-canon, so I had to kill him to make Victoire and Dennis happen!!

ScoRose! Haha. Yup. Everyone needs a little ScoRose in their life.

You can love Teddy AND Dennis!! Just like Victoire!!

Again, thanks so much for these reviews. You're so nice. And fantastic. And other nice words that I'm too tired to think of.


 Report Review

Review #13, by love_is_magic_ Act One

26th February 2014:
I love the intro. LOVE. L.O.V.E.

... did I mention I love the intro?

This dialogue is absolutely adorable. I love the way you introduce their relationship, you do some great characterization and honestly, it's just precious.

"He grinned from ear to ear and turned his hair green. What a jerk." HA! So sneaky and hilarious of you!

I love the way you use Teddy's metamorphology (pretty sure I just made that word up). It's so adorable when he turns his eyes to her shade of blue. It makes me wonder if it's intentional or unintentional because he's thinking about her eyes... *mysterious music plays*

I think you may have already gotten this point but... this scene = adorable beyond compare.

Okay, it may seem super random, but I love the touch with the picture of Teddy and baby Lily. It's little details like that that make a story great and realistic. I struggle with that, so I really appreciate it when I see it in other peoples' stories, and you did a really great job with it here!

'It isn't about being the Savior of the World, Ted. It's about being the Savior of Her World.' Hahaha! Smothh… I'm glad Teddy called him out on that one!

'"Does 'most terrifying thing I've ever done' include killing Voldemort?" Harry nodded grimly.' Hahaha! I love it, nice touch!

I love the way you've written Harry and Teddy's relationship, especially when Teddy and Victorie's daughter is born. I really can't describe it, but it's honestly great.

Wow, okay, so I had to stop telling you every little thing I love, because that would have just taken forever and I probably would have gone over the character limit. But the bit that summarizes her life around Fleur's death and whatnot was just so so SO well done. Bravo, seriously.

Gosh... did Teddy die? Do I want to keep reading this? Am I going to cry?

Wow, so that was just so great. Sorry for the very stream-of-consciousness review, but I just didn't want to forget anything I had wanted to say.

WELL DONE! I can't wait to read the next chapter!

Christy

Author's Response: YOU'RE SO NICE.

Thanks so much for reading this:D.

The eye thing is both intentional and unintentional. In my head-canon, when he's really focused and paying attention to what someone is saying, he automatically does it. (So the adults in his life know when he's not listening...). But he also will do it to be charming.

I really love the idea of Teddy being like a big brother. I really do. I don't always buy into Harry being like a Dad Teddy's whole life, but I think as they both got older, Harry got more and more involved in his life.

Yup good ol' Teddy died.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou you're so sweet.


 Report Review

Review #14, by Aphoride Intermission

11th February 2014:
Hey there! I was so glad to see you in the review battle so I had a good enough excuse to stop learning about the harm principle in English jurisprudence and come back to this story ;)

Okay, so I really love this story and surprisingly really love the pairing, since it's not something I've ever seen before and not something I'd necessarily have thought I'd like, you know? You've completely convinced me, though, with the way you've written this.

I loved how you started with the obituary - really real, btw - and the details about the funeral and Teddy's death and how she moved on from it; what happened after. It was a really nice, bitter section of it and you handled the emotion so well, though you didn't really talk about it directly all that much - more conveyed it through describing Victoire's actions. I don't know if it was conscious or not, but I liked it nonetheless :)

I liked how the next section, where she starts the book as a project, almost as a way to snap out of her grief and move past it, you know? Some people are like that, and I think it really helps make Victoire seem so real. I liked how sweet it was too; but not sickly sweet, more sort of slow and mellow sweet, if that makes sense. I dunno, I just thought it was different to the teen romances I've read - felt older, more mature but still sort of flirting and coy. I really liked it, though - it really suited their relationship! :)

I love how you portrayed Dennis, though. How you described their relationship as progressing without Victoire really realising what was happening, how she came to fall in love with him quickly but no less deeply, and how they met, as well, was so lovely! Such an original idea, and you pulled it off well!

So yeah, I really enjoyed this chapter! Your writing was so clear - there were a couple of mistakes, but I imagine other reviewers might have pointed them out to you before now so I won't go over them ;) - and your characters and plot are as good as they were last time I was here! Really, really enjoyed it! :)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Ahhh, I'm glad you wanted to come back!!!

This *is* for the rare pair challenge. I can't take credit for coming up with the pairing;)

I'm really glad you liked the obituary. Haha, I may have read an article about how to write one that opened with something along the lines of "Firstly, I'd like to offer condolences. There really isn't a situation where you need to write an obituary that isn't a sad one."

Yes, that was intentional! Thank you! I didn't want to sit there and just say "She was sad. This was difficult."

I was really happy when I thought of the book. I really REALLY didn't want Dennis to be the one to get her out of her grief. I mean, he obviously helped, but I wanted Victoire to stand on her own two feet for awhile. This was originally just Act I and Act II (with Teddy being I and Dennis being II), but I REALLY wanted to give Victoire an Intermission for herself.

When I'm an old lady I want to find someone like Dennis to keep me young :)

Ack! So many mistakes that are so embarrassing, but I'm just so lazy.

Thanks so much for such a lovely review!!


 Report Review

Review #15, by academica Intermission

5th February 2014:
Hello, here with your requested review :)

Wow, I really loved this chapter. I just totally ate it up. The story you've woven is incredibly realistic, beautifully detailed, and answered all the questions that cropped up for me in the first chapter.

I have to confess that I assumed Victoire was young when she married Dennis in chapter one, so it really surprised me for her to be depicted as an older woman and widow in this chapter. I don't know that I've ever read a story with her at this age--or any of the other next gen kids--and I really liked it. The pacing of her relationship with Dennis was played out nicely and, again, seems realistic based on their respective ages.

As I mentioned earlier, I adored all the little details you included, especially the notes about M.O.O.N.Y. and Victoire's process in writing the book. What a creative way to link her to so many influential people in the wizarding world, and it was so nice to see her rediscover a sense of purpose in the wake of her beloved husband's death. I'm sure it was a healing process for her to document the bravery and heroism of others. It was especially nice to see the treatment of prominent Slytherins in Victoire's account, as it shows her book isn't going to be too biased.

As a psychologist-in-training, I think you did a nice job portraying grief here as well. I loved how you showed the different reactions of the children, and again, your attention to detail served you well (e.g., Charlotte's paintings). Even your simple descriptions of Victoire's emotion following Teddy's death rang true with my own experiences and those observed in others.

The flow is really well executed here; I think you did great with moving from event to event and incorporating the entrances of different characters. The whole thing has a light, romantic feel to it despite the dark subject matter.

I don't know what else to say except that I'm inspired by your creativity and I'm excited to see what the third chapter brings, and how Victoire will reconcile her new marriage with the husband she was forced to give up unexpectedly. Thanks for requesting, and I hope this is helpful!

-Amanda

Author's Response: Thanks for such a lovely review! I keep rereading it and it makes me smile.

Writing from an older witch's perspective was a little bit of a struggle for me... but I'd like to think I'm doing a fair job with it. I've also never written that far into the future.

I really wanted it to be something other than Dennis that pulled her out of her grief. I just didn't want her entire life to be dependent on another person, you know? I'm all for personal development in the wake of tragedy.

I'm glad you thought I did a nice job with the portrayal of grief and didn't think it was cheesy or misguided.

Yes, this review was so thorough and helpful and thank you so much!!


 Report Review

Review #16, by LightLeviosa5443 Act One

4th February 2014:
I'm so sorry I'm so late with this!

So, some quick things, since I'm noting edits before I get to actually reviewing:

- When she's talking about following through with the promise of kissing him, she says And my father's taught me to never back down on my promises I don't know if you need the 's in there. I don't know, when I read it the first thing I thought was "she doesn't have more than one dad". I could be grammatically wrong, though!!

- When Teddy is bringing Harry lunch, Harry pushed out the chair for Ted to sit in, but you say they instead of the by accident.

- When Victoire is having the baby, you mention Teddy running back and forth and the family only wanting information from him, but you accidentally say for him.

THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN HARRY AND TEDDY ABOUT PROPOSING WAS SO DARN CUTE! OH MY GOODNESS AND THE AUNT. I CAN'T. I'M DONE. I'M CRYING. Oh my god. Bill and Teddy looking at their daughters. This story is so beautiful. I am ridiculous right now. I probably look like a great blubbering mess!!! Awe. Remus William. Why are you doing this to me?

I'm literally crying, this whole way through. This story is so beautiful.

Oh. My. Goodness. I literally cried that whole time, I'm not even lying. This story was so beautiful, and so well written. I knew I loved your writing before, but this is incredible. From the way that you handled the POV changes, to the way that you exploited the emotions. I have no ability to even, right now. That was just marvelous.

I want to read this forever. And ever. Thanks for requesting, love!

xoxo Sarah

Author's Response: Don't worry about it!

In this instance, father's is a contraction for father has, so it's correct to my knowledge.

Thanks for pointing out those other two!

Awww, I'm glad that you thought it was cute! Bill and Teddy looking at their daughters was probably the cheesy-est thing I've ever written and I don't even care!

I'm going this to you because I love you.

You might hate me when you read the next chapter. If this made you a blubbering mess... you won't like the Intermission.

Thanks so much for such a sweet review!!


 Report Review

Review #17, by ShadowRose Act One

30th January 2014:
Hello! ShadowRose here with your (rather late...) requested review!

OH MY GOSH THIS IS SO CUTE. This story is really unique, in that Victoire's much older and she's remarrying, which is really a topic never approached much in fanfiction.

I love your characters. Victoire seems so much like Hermione at the start, being so talented with school things yet freaking out about them nonetheless. I love Teddy as well - he's sweet and caring and oh my gosh their first kiss scene is absolutely adorable. I love how you've thrown in the childhood stories, because it really adds history to their relationship. I especially love the thing about "investigating Dominique" - it put a huge smile on my face picturing the antics of these two little kids.

I love seeing Teddy's interactions with Harry, because you see how Harry's become a father figure, both when advising Teddy on how to propose and talking to him after Charlotte is born. I think you've captured their married life quite well, covering all the aspects of it and showing just how much they really love each other. It was all just so cute and left me smiling like an idiot - especially the line about "how glad he was he interrupted my Transfiguration studies," it really brings the whole love story full circle.

I really like the scene that occurs as Victoire's having the baby; instead of focusing on the childbirth itself, which can be a little awkward to read (or write for that matter), you focus on Teddy running back and forth between the two scenese - Victoire in the delivery room, and the waiting room packed with the entire Weasley clan. It really creates a funny mental picture of the poor guy being completely overwhelmed and just put a smile on my face as I was reading.

I was actually upset when these little snapshots ended, because it reminded me that Teddy has died (which I do hope is explained later, because it really makes me sad that he died and they had such a perfect and cute relationship). I like the wedding scene too, because we see all of Victoire's life with Teddy around her (like her daughter and son accompanying her down the aisle). I'm really looking forward to getting to know Dennis better as well, because if Victoire loves Dennis as much as she loves Teddy, then he's gotta be a good person if he can measure up to that. I like how you close by tying in loving a second child with loving a second husband - it's a good way to close the loop.

I've addressed most of your AOCs at this point I think, but as for the way this is written, I think it's perfect. I've written something in a snapshot-style before, and I know it seems kind of unsettling and like it could be confusing to the reader when you're writing it, but I promise, it's nothing like that for the reader. It really gives a great sense of time passing and shows all the big changes that have occurred in her life. I think it's perfectly done, and you really shouldn't be concerned about this writing format at all. Your characterization is great, and I didn't really see any grammar things that jumped out at me (then again, I was so wrapped up in the absolute cuteness of this story that I don't think I would have noticed).

Overall, this was such a cute and amazing first chapter, and I really can't wait to see how you develop the storyline in the upcoming ones. Feel free to re-request for any subsequent chapters! :)

-ShadowRose (Taylor)

Author's Response: Hey! Yay! I can respond now!!

I don't think I've ever read a story quite like this one. It came around because when I got Dennis/Victoire, the only way I'd be comfortable with the age difference was if they were much older. But I couldn't go on and not explain what happened to Teddy! So... here we are!

Haha, yeah, I felt awkward even thinking about writing a childbirth scene... so I did that! Glad you liked it! Teddy was extremely overwhelmed, yes. I'm glad you liked it.

His death is explained, yes. And you'll get to know Dennis, too!!

Thanks so much. I really was worried that the style would be confused (I'm regretting the decision to switch persons back and forth a little...).

Thanks so much! This was a really fantastic and thorough review.


 Report Review

Review #18, by maraudertimes Intermission

28th January 2014:
Hi! Here for the review swap!

First, let me just mop up my tears... Okay I'm good! (for now...)

It was so sweet to see how Teddy dedicated his life to bettering the lives of young werewolves. Just with that I could tell how amazing he was as a person.

The book idea was really cool and I think you played it off wonderfully! The little ScoRose bit was possibly one of my favourite parts, just because I love ScoRose! :) But Draco's diary was also pretty cool! It was nice of Scorpius to give that to Victoire!

I absolutely loved how Dennis and Victoire got to know each other! I was wondering how they met and this little backstory (I love how you call this chapter the intermission by the way) was really cute and I loved it! Dennis seems like a really nice guy!

I'm not going to comment on the sad parts of this chapter, just because I'm going to cry. But I will say this: everything was really well written (especially those parts), and you did something amazing, which was draw me in. I felt like part of the story and I love when that happens!

This was a really nice chapter and I'll be waiting patiently for the third installement!
Lo:)

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the swap!

Awww... I'm sorry!

I love Teddy! I'd already decided that he worked in the Department of Human Transfiguration in a one-shot (and once something is added to my headcanon, I'm oddly strict about it), but then in this one I realised that it could work for this purpose, too.

Yay for ScoRose!!! Scorpius was really happy about the opportunity to provide some insight into Draco.

Yay for... Dennoire? Vicnis?...name to come. I'm glad you noticed the chapter title. I see this chapter as sort of Victoire's intermission, when she gets to know herself and is able to stand on her own.

Awww, I'm sorry! :(. You're so nice, though! Thank you so much!

You might have to be a little patient for Act II. It will come, though!

Thanks again for the swap!


 Report Review

Review #19, by UnluckyStar57 Intermission

28th January 2014:
Hello! I'm back to review the second chapter, as per your request. :)

So I think it's worth mentioning that while I was reading the part about Charlotte's paintings of the Lupin family, "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey came on my Spotify. It really seemed to fit, and it made me feel really sad. I thought it was a good combination of music and excellent writing. :)

This chapter was really, really good. I'm so glad that I got to see how Dennis was in his old age--he seems like quite the character! And you know, I must confess that I got totally mixed up and thought that Victoire was older, but then I remembered, "Duuh, she wasn't even born when the Battle happened!" I don't know what was wrong with my brain. :D

The M.O.O.N.Y. organization is so, so fitting. I thought it was an incredibly creative and thoughtful name and cause for a magical charity. And I'm glad that Victoire decided to write the book about the Battle of Hogwarts and dedicate it to remembering everyone who died. It was a perfect way for her to meet Dennis, I think!

There are a few things that I noticed, typo-wise:

"Luckily, I was there when he died. I was there, and the kids."~I just think that the second sentence could be either combined with the first or written a little more cohesively. Maybe "Luckily, the kids and I were there when he died." Just to combine them and make things less choppy. :)

"There were paper that I needed to sign, which Charlotte and Remus handled for me."~I think that "paper" should be "papers." Minor detail!

"Flabberghasted, I quickly Floo'd to the Library, where I realised that the type of book I was looking for didn't appear to exist."~I don't know if you use UK English or American English, but as far as I know, "Flabberghasted" should actually be spelled "Flabbergasted."

"A year and a half after we met, my book, which I titled simply The Second of May, was accepted for publication."~Okay, the underline on the book title didn't show up in the review (I copied and pasted for ease of typing), but instead of being underlined, it should actually be italicized.

"Teddy made me feel safe, while Dennis forced me to take risks. Dennis acted like a child, and made me feel young again. Teddy drew me in with his cool maturity. Teddy gave me a simple proposal, while Dennis gave me lavish one."~Just a syntactical thing--Because the pattern in this paragraph seems to be Teddy-Dennis, past-present, it would be syntactically neat to put "Teddy drew me in with his cool maturity." before "Dennis acted like a child and made me feel young again." Just a suggestion! Also, you could probably take out the comma after "child" in the Dennis sentence. :)

The only thing that was a little odd to me as far as the plot went was how quickly Victoire and Dennis' relationship seemed to progress. I totally understand that it probably happened more quickly than Victoire and Teddy's did, but it seemed a bit glossed over until the part about the restaurant. But never fear--the only reason that I'm mentioning it is because I would like to know more about what caused the attraction between them! However, I understand that if you wrote the entirety of their relationship in this chapter, it would be a mammoth chapter, and nobody wants that. :)

Also, I would really like to know what disease Teddy and Arabella had! Will it come to light in the next chapter? Is it a Muggle disease or a magical one? What was it?!

Great chapter! :D

~UnluckyStar57

Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much!
I can't say I've ever heard that song, I'll have to listen to it!

I'm glad you liked MOONY because that seriously took SO much time to figure out. And it wasn't even really needed for the plot... I'm just stubborn.

Ahhh, thank you so much for pointing out all that stuff. I really appreciate that you took the time to say exactly where I made mistakes rather than just "there were a few mistakes here and there".

I do agree that the progression of relationship could've had more substance. They knew each other for about a year and a half before dinner (the same amount of time it took her to finish the book)

Okay, honestly... I don't know what killed them. Basically, the wizard equivalent of cancer. You know, just something that kills a lot of people and as normal as it is, it's still awful. I didn't want to make up something though because I felt like I'd be trivializing cancer, and I didn't want to do that.

Thanks for such a thorough review! It really enjoyed it.


 Report Review

Review #20, by Aphoride Act One

23rd January 2014:
Hey there, stopping by for our review swap! :)

I really enjoyed this! I love Teddy/Victoire and minor characters and unusual pairings, so when I saw this on your page I just had to read it!

I love that you made it so believable and not the 'conventional' pairing in fanfiction, you know? With Victoire marrying Teddy first, having kids with him and being in the 'perfect fairytale romance', and then Teddy dying and her falling in love again with Dennis and remarrying. I love that. Seriously. It's so nice and fresh to see something new on the archives - and this is really unique! :)

Victoire's character is so lovely, as well. I love how she's clever and talented but still worries about exams, because it's so realistic. The way you carried her, and us, through the individual scenes you showed was so good - I loved how she grew up through them, but also was still decidedly her, you know?

Teddy was so sweet, too! So cheeky and perhaps not quite so talented as Victoire. I loved the way you mentioned that he could have had a better position in the Ministry, but how he didn't want to joyride on Harry's fame, as it really shows such depth to his character!

I have to say, when I first read this I was a bit confused by how it was an unusual/rare pairing, since it said Teddy/Victoire, but I really, really love how you built it up with the fairytale-style romance - childhood sweethearts and all that jazz - and then made it crash with Teddy's death and Victoire's remarriage.

Your writing in this was so lovely, too. It was really clear, free of mistakes, and your description was great too (though maybe a little bit more here and there? Then again, I tend to write a lot, so feel free to ignore that if it's just me ;D). I really loved your dialogue - you write it so well!

The details you included in this were great, too! You really developed the setting of this and the characters. I loved how Victoire mentioned how her mother passed away, and how she didn't want her whole family in the hospital. It was those little things which really helped bring the sense of time to it.

This was a really lovely one-shot! We should swap again in the future so I can finish reading this (I have a terrible memory otherwise...) ;)

Aph xx

Author's Response: Hey, thanks so much for the swap. I feel really bad about the mix-up with yours. But hey, at least I noticed!

I'm glad that it caught your eye!

I'm really really happy that you thought she was still her own character. I really worried while writing this, because I don't like it when somebody's life is defined entirely by another person.

Awww, Teddy is really just a big Teddy bear (har...har...har...).

I totally agree that I could use more description. That's something I constantly have to work on.

Thank you so much for such a great review! We will have to swap again, I'd love to get more feedback from you.


 Report Review

Review #21, by toomanycurls Intermission

22nd January 2014:
Hello!!! Reivew swapping here!

If you had preambled this chapter saying you were going to go from funeral to wedding I wouldn't have believed it (or that it would be well done) but you did such a beautiful and believable job with Victoire, her grief, and her relationship with Dennis.

I got all teary-eyed at Teddy's obituary and Victoire's grief. I loved that he created a non-profit called MOONY to help children with lycanthropy. I've had relatives die from a long disease and I've had them die suddenly. Neither is easy to cope with and you just coverd that so wonderfully. victoire's immobilizing grief felt all too real to me. I am glad that her family was so supportive for her. I particularly liked hte line about her not crying until the end and then all she did was cry. that's just brilliant.

I was happy that her hobbies and interests were what pulled Victoire out of her grief. That also felt very real to me. Her journey to gather information sounded so thorough and just quite amazing. I was happy that Scorpius was able to help with information on Draco. And most of all, I like that this was her connection to Dennis. I could see why he'd be so interested in the book as his brother died in that battle.

Dennis sounds like a wonderful person and I quite love how Victoire compared him to Teddy in a way that wasn't saying either was better or worse but that they were different. I think they each met her needs but at different times. And, in her 50's, being with someone who helped her feel young and expand her life would be a fresh relief.

His proposal was wonderful and very romantic!!

I thought this was brilliant and really a touching piece of work.

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey! Yay, I'm getting around to answering reviews (haha, there are people who get dozens every day and I had eleven in a week, many of them from you).

Awww, thanks! You're so sweet! I love your reviews:)

:( I'm sorry. I really hope this didn't hit too close to home or upset you. I did try to make the grief realistic, but not too graphic.

I really wanted something other than Dennis to pull her from her grief. I didn't want her to rely on another person her entire life, so I was happy with myself when I decided that she was a historian and could just dive into her work.

Dennis is wonderful. If I were 60, I'd totally date him (oh gosh that sounds so weird).

I'm so glad that you liked it. You're so nice!


 Report Review

Review #22, by teh tarik Intermission

22nd January 2014:
Hello again!

I really enjoyed this chapter! I think there were plenty of great contrasts here, from the grief Victoire feels over Teddy's death, and how she and her children cope with their loss, to the joy of her new relationship with Dennis. This chapter also works really well in showing the transition period in Victoire's life, as she moves from Teddy to Dennis. I love the way you portrayed her family life, and how supportive her children are. The paintings Charlotte creates are so vivid and sad; but they're also lovely in that they're commemorating and celebrating the lives and the beautiful moments that Teddy, Victoire and their children shared together.

I think it's a really wonderful idea to have Victoire of all people write a book on the Battle of Hogwarts; her interest would have definitely helped her pick her life back up after Teddy's death, and not to mention that it led her right to Dennis. Gah, love your descriptions of Dennis here: how oddly youthful he is despite being what..70+ years? And I love how fun-loving and cheerful he is, how he brings out the adventurous spirit in Victoire. I love the contrasts between how Teddy and Dennis are, as her lovers. Dennis and Victoire's relationship is beautifully written; I think my favourite part of this chapter has got to be how naturally she slips into this relationship, so much so that she opens up her own wardrobe and discovers it half-filled with Dennis' clothes, and how natural kissing comes to them. ♥

Anyway, this was a wonderful chapter! I love how you've begun to write the pairing assigned to you; it sounds incredibly promising! I'm excited for your final chapter. :D

-teh

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for reviewing! And so quickly! You're amazing:)

I'm glad that you picked up on the contrasts. This chapter, and this story in general, is really all about contrasts. Both between happiness and grief, between Teddy and Dennis as characters, and between Victoire's relationship with Teddy and Dennis.

I really wanted something other than Dennis to get Victoire out of her grief. I originally had her working on the book before Teddy's illness, and she and Dennis were good friends for a long time, but I didn't want Victoire's life to revolve around her relationships. This was originally just two chapters (with Teddy's death in chapter 1, and all of her relationship with Dennis is chapter 2), but I wanted Victoire to be Victoire.

I'm so glad you liked how they just sort of melt into the relationship! I wanted to provide some (more) contrast. With Teddy, there were distinct memories, but with Dennis it just happened (and it's not because her memory is failing her).

I'm really excited for the final chapter, too! This will be my first non-one-shot that gets a "completed" status:D

Thanks so much for taking the time to review my entry.


 Report Review

Review #23, by toomanycurls Act One

20th January 2014:
Review swap!!

It was funny during the entire chapter I was trying to see if I misunderstood the "rare" part of the ship. :P

I love how you put the two of them together - Victoire and Ted. It was quite serendipitous that she flipped to a question on metamorphmagus abilities. :D I'm surprised she wasn't just a little attracted to Teddy. Though, they did certainly have chemistry once they kissed.

It's a bit adorable how she remarks on his one year age difference when Dennis is quite a few years older.

Ted going to Harry for advice was darling. I could imagine how it would have been quite unnerving to face the oldest brother and if anyone could effectively threaten Harry, Bill could. Oh poor Ted has to go face that except worse because it's Bill's daughter.

I read today that nobles used to give birth in front of crowds. :P Victoire giving birth reminded me of that. I don't blame Vic for not wanting the entire family there.

Hearing about Ted being a good father is so heart warming. I was thrilled that they named him Remus. :D You pass over so much of Victoire's life with such grace and fluidity.

At the end, with the wedding, I was confused about whether it's a new marriage, if her and Ted are renewing their vows, or what all happened between her and Ted cuddling to that scene but I imagine you'll talk about that in the next act!

-Rose

Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the swap (and the next one, haha). After reading your story I need to be put in a good mood and what does that better than answering reviews?:D

Hmmm... either it was serendipitous, or it was a plot device ;) She was attracted to Teddy, but she's stubborn and wouldn't admit to anyone, even herself:)

Dennis IS quite a few years older... that's the main reason this story ended up how it did. I wasn't too comfortable with the age difference unless they were older when they got together.

I always imagine Bill as the pseudo-patriarch of the Weasley family. I mean, I love Arthur and think he's a fantastic father, but sometimes he's one of the kids.

Hah! That made me laugh! I can see how you made that connection!

You're too nice:).

I can see how it would've been confusing... it's meant to be a bit ambiguous, you know? But, yeah as you already know, she's getting remarried.

Thanks so much for the review:D


 Report Review

Review #24, by maraudertimes Act One

20th January 2014:
Um, wow. Just... wow.
Before I go any further, I'm just going to point out a few typos (the only CCs I had), so I can go back to being awestruck for the rest of this review.

"Teddy spent the next six hours running back and forth from his wife's side to her ridiculously persistent family, who wouldn't *except* information for anyone but *the* him."
and
"She gave her niece a kiss on the cheek and cooed over the newborn before *before* crossing the room to congratulate her sister."

Other than those three things, it was amazing. I loved the start of their relationship, and how she was adamant that the kiss had to be a proper kiss. It was very sweet, especially when he found out she had never been kissed and when he called her the most beautiful girl in the school!

The fact that he asked Bill's permission before marrying her was really sweet, as was his going to Harry to ask for advice (and the Harry/Ginny bit was squeal worthy - absolutely to die for in cuteness). I just thought that whole part was really sweet and you wrote it wonderfully.

The baby scene was really cute, especially how the whole family showed up (even if Victoire didn't want them to). And when Bill had his hand on Teddy's shoulder and they were both staring down at their daughters, it was completely sweet! I loved it!

The getting ready for and start of the wedding procession was really sweet, although there were many new characters that you didn't truly introduce. I guess that *could* be a CC, but to be honest, all you really have to do is put a sentence or two detailing who they are in relation to Victoire (example: her granddaughter from which child?). I don't really think it quantifies as CC only because it's really just an improvement, not any sort of criticism. Of course, that could just be my opinion.

I am curious as to how Teddy died (I'm assuming he died), and how Victoire met Dennis, and I'm also really happy about your choice of chapter titles. They work very well!

Over all, amazing job. I'm sorry if this isn't 3000 words, but I did get over 2000 characters! But honestly: this was beautifully written and was super sweet. Even though there was a pang of sadness, it was beautifully counteracted by the sheer happiness and joy of the rest of the piece.

Splendid job!
Lo:)

Author's Response: I CAN'T BELIEVE I MIXED UP ACCEPT AND EXCEPT. THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING.
I went and edited this right after I read your review. I'm so embarrassed, but that's what I get for writing at four in the morning...

You're so nice!! This review made me smile so much!!
You're right that I could explain better who is who. It makes sense to me (obviously), so I have a tendency to just assume that everyone reading this has a copy of the family tree. I added a line explaining that Charlotte is Iris' mother.

A quick explanation of the family: Victoire and Teddy had two kids, Charlotte and Remus. Charlotte has one daughter, Iris, and isn't married. Remus is married to Andrea and she's pregnant at the wedding.

I honestly don't remember what Dennis's daughter is named... (Spoiler alert: she's not important), but he has one daughter from his first marriage.

Your questions will be answered in the second chapter.

Oh! I'm sorry if my A/N implied that I wanted a 3000 word review! I meant that the chapter was about 3000 words long!

I'm so glad that you liked this. Your review was so sweet! I'm actually settling down right now to work on chapter two. I hope you liked the first chapter enough to read on :)


 Report Review

Review #25, by teh tarik Act One

19th January 2014:
Hello! :D

I'm here to read and review your challenge entry! First, thank you so much for participating! :) Second, I honestly think your story is a real treat for me because Dennis Creevey is one of my absolute favourite characters to read about / write, and I'm so lucky that your story submitted entry! ^.^

I love how you've depicted Teddy and Victoire's relationship here; 3000 words is not a lot to depict an entire relationship, but I think you managed very well, actually. I love the light easy tone of the story, the bits of humour, the sharp dialogue, the fluff, everything really. You captured the romance between the two effortlessly, so great work for that. I also love the relationships between other characters e.g. Harry and Teddy. I love how close Teddy is to Harry, how he leans on his godfather for support, and of course, I love the bloke-y banter between them, and the references to Bill being a really fearsomely overprotective figure!

The childbirth scene was lovely. I'm sort of giggling at the large number of Weasleys cluttering up the waiting room, and Teddy running back and forth, relaying news to them about his wife's progress. Also, I love how much the Weasley family has grown by the end of the chapter. I was a bit surprised that Victoire was already a grandmother, and I think the ending scene with her going out to meet Dennis, the groom, was wonderful. It's such a heartwarming scene to see her being surrounded by her family, from her father and children and granddaughter and then her new groom. I'm quite excited to see how you develop the actual Victoire/Dennis relationship. I'm sure you'll pull that off brilliantly, given how well you wrote the Teddy/Victoire bit in this opening chapter.

Another thing that really stood out to me was how you made Victoire an older woman in this story. I'm really, really happy with your choice, because not many fanfic writers write about old people, sad to say, and it's lovely that you're exploring the life of a more mature character. Well done.

I really enjoyed this chapter, and I'm loving your story so far! Can't wait to read the next part, and I really do hope you get the remaining two chapters into the queue by the deadline. :D Thank you so much, once again, for participating, and best of luck with the challenge! ♥

-teh

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review! I absolutely adored this challenge and I'm so excited to finish this story:)

I'm really happy that you thought I captured the Romance between Teddy and Victoire:D It was a lot of fun to decide which moments to write about. And I was worried that the Harry/Teddy stuff was a little out of place, but I'm glad you liked it. In my head, they have such a sweet relationship and I love writing about it.

I'm happy that you liked the childbirth scene. I always feel like actual childbirth scenes read very awkwardly, so I decided to not actually write it, and just focus on the family. I love writing the Weasleys. They're such a huge, loving family. I need to write more Weasley fics. By the time Victoire is a grandmother, I can't even imagine how many Weasleys there are.

Dennis and Victoire's relationship will be given just as much attention and Teddy and Victoire's, don't worry (Dennis IS the Second Act).
I'd never even considered writing from the POV of an older witch, but when I got the challenge it was the only way I was comfortable with the age difference (to me, 15 years is a lot when you're 25 and 40, but not much when you're 60 and 75). It's working out well for me, though, so I'm very pleased with it (finding a face-claim wasn't fun, though...).

Thank you so much for such a lovely review! I'll be sure to get the second and third chapters in by the deadline, I'm too excited about this not to!


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>