Reading Reviews for Defiant Blood, Defiant Love
  
37 Reviews Found

Review #1, by ilovegeorgeweasly101 Hide The Bruises, Hide The Secrets

15th April 2014:
IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR STORY! Ah!!! I've been really sick lately so coming on today and finding the next chapter was like an early birthday present😃 Rabastan is such an insert bad word here! I can't wait until she finally stands up to him, what an animal. Your story is seriously gorgeous and I cannot wait for the next chapter!!

10/10

Clea😘

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Review #2, by keyty Hide The Bruises, Hide The Secrets

14th April 2014:
AH YAY YOU UPDATED! I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T EVEN SEE IT! I'm so flipping excited. I sat on the edge of my seat reading the hospital wing scene. I caught myself muttering "Just kiss her, kiss her, kiss her..." So I mean that's not creepy at all.

Is it weird that as I read the quidditch match scene I kept checking on the one in the forums? Haha. The beaters are brutal!

Did you ever post that short story about Marcy and Jamison? If not, please let me know when you do, I'd love to give it a read!

Moving on. Can I just say that I'm imagining the marauders as like four year olds that only go up to Andromeda's knees? It's so cute they're just babies in my mind. It's kind of like the baby looney tunes show. Also, I usually read this at work, and photobucket is blocked here so I never see the banner. So I'm not sure what your face claim is for Ted but in my mind I see him as James Franco when he played James Dean. Mmmm so dreamy. I love him. I kind of am battling between him and Sirius now, look at what you've done! Anyway, I love how this chapter went. There was so much drama and yayayyyayyayaya it was so long! I'm nervous to see what happens with Rabastan. He is such a loser! I'm also super excited about Andromeda and Ted hanging out. He so obviously fancies her I can't wait for her to feel the same way! Please please PLEASE update soon!

-Huffleclaw Ravenpuff Eggstravangaza-

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Review #3, by NASHAAD Hide The Bruises, Hide The Secrets

10th April 2014:
Ooh gurrl, you are pulling my heart strings, Zan she's so miskeen i want to take her home and love her, her story made me think of poor Neville. OMGGF NAVA I HATE YOU NOOOW, how could you go from making Rabastian look like he even cared about Andromeda and me slightly shipping them to MAKE HIM SUCH A FUCKING DUOCHE . I DONT WANNA SEE ANYMORE OD THAT DIRT BAG pls. I really hope Ted is kept safe, you can't trust these shifty asshole slytherins. MY GOD TED I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. HES SO ADORBS, poor baby in the bed and still being sweet to Andromeda's overreacting ass self, lol. OMG HE DID NOT JUST ASK HER OUT LIKE THAT, GOSH ARGH. TED IS PRECIOUSNESS, is Ted gonna have some sad background story that makes him so indifferent to blood status insults or is it all just part of his personality, not giving a FUCK, i like dat. If only Rabastian knew that so he could have a more tasteful comebacks than muddblood. OOH gooodie, more Ted and Andromeda scenes to look forward to now that they are semi friends. Are we ever gonna find out the real reason for Ted seeing the counselor a big part of me doesn't see him going to counseling sessions regularly just for future career optioning. Poor Marcy that asshole Jamison ignoring her, the fuck he thinks he some kind of prize package. Marcy ain't need him girlfriend should hook up w/ someone else and rub it in his face. I am disgusted w/ this Pru chick and Rowle, like why still and ew? You know i think Andromeda is as good for Zan and Zan is as good for Andromeda. While Zan is the one who causes herself physics trauma, Andromeda causes herself mental trauma, or rather their enviornemnts do. Two peas in a pod really. THIS IS MY FAVE CHAPTER THUS FAR, I EXPECT EVEN BETTER NEXT TIME AROUND!

Author's Response: HAHAHA omg Nash just read the response I gave to Tia and that is basically written for you as well. I always picture my penguins reading the chapters while I'm writing them and it makes me more excited.

Rabastan does care about Andromeda and I will try to show that more in the coming chapters, including the next one.

Isn't Ted amazing? I swear I love Ted and I can't get enough of him. I want Ted for myself, wretched Andromeda! All the Black sisters get all the men I pine for *sobs* D':

LOL I wouldn't say asking out but he kind of asked her out but he also just wants to spend more time with her because he's intrigued by her. It will be interesting writing about her Muggle ignorance.

TED DOESN'T CARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS HE'S AN OG LIKE DAT MY FRAND. He don't give a eff bout nothin.

Haha love you my penguin can't wait till next chap is up :))


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Review #4, by lindslo2012 The Lady Who Drank…Too Much

10th April 2014:
Hey there! Here for your long awaited requested review!
I am still in love with your story. It is so intriguing and interesting to read... and unique!
I agree with another reviewer that said that they wanted to just shake Andromeda and say, hey! what are you thinking woman?
Rabaston is getting a little more dangerous in my eyes and I am starting not to like him at all.
I am still enjoying the sharp plot of the story, it is just awesome!
It is funny that she got drunk but I am glad she realized what she was doing somewhat at least ;)
I can't wait to read more.. and I defidently can't wait until you bring Ted in :) that will be interesting.. but pulled together perfectly I am sure:)
I liked Zan alot because she seems like she will be a very good friend..
Sirius is awesome as usual! :) And never changing.

I did not see any errors with this chapter and I can't wait to read on. Please come back and re-request son! :D
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi! Thanks so much I love your reviews! They are always so positive and motivating!

Yes Andromeda needs some shaking, I constantly shake her in my head lol, but she's stuck, poor girl :(

Rabastan is out of control and he will continue spiraling with the turn this story is taking. He's serious about Andromeda. Purebloods take these things too seriously in my opinion.

Yeah I usually don't approve of the lady-getting-drunk scheme but since she's been going a little cray cray with her spontaneity I decided to let her indulge a little.

I'm excited for Ted and Zan to develop as characters. I'm already so attached to them since I have them so developed in my head and I hope everyone else feels the same way once I write them out more.

Sirius is my fave. It's harder to incorporate him in the story since he's not in Slytherin but every chance I get I definitely try to put him in. I think everyone needs their Sirius dose every once in a while…or more *shhh I'm not addicted* ;P

Thanks a bunches for your review I really appreciate it :))


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Review #5, by tia Hide The Bruises, Hide The Secrets

9th April 2014:
**stupid thing cut me off when i wasn't even done reviewing**
omg rabastan is scary ._. and then when she mentioned that it wasn't the 1st time he'd bruised her, I was worried for the girl's life. All aboard the Ted ship, Rabastan who? Not that I wasn't always a Ted supporter but I was feeling a little miskeen for Rabastan in the past chapters. (but that's all in the past now)

TED'S PART WAS OBVIOUSLY MY FAVORITE!! HE'S GONNA SET ASIDE SOME TIME TO TEACH HER AW MORE TED/ANDROMEDA MOMENTS COMING :D He's such an amazing character. Keep up the good work Nava, gold star for you ;)

Anyway, I want an even longer chapter. Thank you for this satisfying update U_U

Author's Response: Ted's the best. I literally had this chapter planned out write when I started writing the first chapter and I was so impatient about waiting for it to come along in the story. I feel that way about so many of the coming chapters. We should talk about it sometime but I don't want to spoil it for you.

You're the best my dear, next chapter will be longer. I shall try my best :))


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Review #6, by tia Hide The Bruises, Hide The Secrets

9th April 2014:
OMG OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGGOM OMG OMG
I AM DECLARING THIS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER, I LOVED IT SO MUCH!
and nava we need to talk about your definition of what a "long chapter" is. Hon, this was not long enough U_U

Where do I start? There was so much going on in this chapter, I seriously went through a variety of emotions! Let's start with Rabastan (god, his name is so ugly). Idk how I feel about him, not gonna lie I was kind of feeling him lol. You can tell he cared about Andromeda, with his actions in the past chapters. It wasn't just an infatuation with her , he genuinely really liked her and this chapter comes along and I find out he's some abusive psycho path.erm
And then the whole Marcy situation, I want to know so much more!!!

THE MATCH LET ME TALK ABOUT THE MATCH or w/e happened afterwards but before that let me just say that little snape, siruis, lily, james part was cute

Author's Response: YAY your review literally made my day my lovely troll :))

LOL THIS IS LONG TIA IT'S 25 PAGES ON WORD DOCUMENT. But fine I'll write more for you next time. I honestly enjoy the longer chapters. Detail fo dayz ;P

Rabastan, as I like to put it, is a miskeen psycho, lol. I will get more into him soon. He doesn't mean to explode like that. He just doesn't have any control over his temperament. Poor fellow.

I need to start on my Marcy story. It's all in my head I just need to find time, UGH. I will though I promise! I'm excited :}

I can't wait for the next chap I'll start working on it this week, thanks boo!


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Review #7, by tia Cake Makes Way For Conversation

5th April 2014:
NO, it ended way to soon. Nava, you really know how to torture a person with your characters. I legit thought they were gonna kiss; I even had the urge to push their heads together making sure some snogging action took place!!! ANyway, thank you for more Ted this update. I love their convos, always sarcastic, heated and ending with Andromeda losing her temper

Author's Response: Hahaha no no my dear knowing me I will keep torturing you with almost-kissing moments and build up all that tension. Just wait it will get better! They will get closer every time haha. Next chap is in the queue, can't wait to hear what you think :))

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Review #8, by tia Lakes, Lies, and Limbo

5th April 2014:
I swear to god with each chap, your story just keeps getting better. I'm excited to see what you do with Zan's character; I don't quite understand her which I find interesting. There was not much Ted in the chap but that's okay because Marcy's story is enough to distract me from that issue lol.
YES, I love how Andromeda is so nosy in a way, I'm so happy she actually got up and went to go find out what that expression he gave Marcy was. This is getting all to exciting. Love how you gave us more detail of what was going on with the side characters. With that said ON TO THE NEXT CHAP NAVA ^__^

Author's Response: Yay I love your reviews! Keep em coming haha!

Zan's character will develop. It already has in the chapter that's in the queue right now. I can't wait for Marcy and Jamison to develop as well. I'm going to write a separate fanfic with three chaps for them so we all know what happened during that holiday. Thanks my troll you're amazing as always :))


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Review #9, by tia The Art Of Cheating

3rd April 2014:
omg so many Andromeda/Ted moments, yes! ;~; Loved this update as always. I'm already in love with Ted's character. Can't wait for more upcoming scenes of the two together :) On to the next chap

Author's Response: YOU'RE AMAZING MY TROLL!!! Can't wait for your next review :))

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Review #10, by tia The Lady Who Drank…Too Much

2nd April 2014:
This story is definitely getting better from where I left off. I loved this chapter so much, i don't know if it was drunk Andromeda, the 'children murdering troll' comment (I literally laughed out loud) I like so much or maybe it's Sirius. ANYWHO keep up the good work Nava!!! I didn't know how much i've missed this story until now. I can't wait to read the other chapters awaiting.
BTW please include some more Sirius and Andromeda parts, their r-ship is so CUTE

Author's Response: Yay I'm so happy you're back!! Hahaha I missed your reviews! So happy you liked it I can't wait for you to read the next chapter. Yes children murdering troll was definitely a spontaneous phrase I used there haha.

I will def include more Sirius and Andromeda. The next chapter is in the queue now and there is a scene with them in there so I can't wait for you to read it!!

Thanks love you're amazing!


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Review #11, by keyty Cake Makes Way For Conversation

29th March 2014:
Ah this is so cute. When are they just gonna push each other against the wall and snog? Because that is definitely where I see this going.

You can't see me, but I'm excessively wagging my eyebrows. Suggestively, I might add. ;)

Grrr I want to know what she did about Marcy and Jamison! Did she do it yet? I just want to know everything! But there's nothing more to read! I'm glad that Andromeda and Ted are starting to get along, but hopefully they still argue a bit so that they can have that pent up sexual frustration. (more excessive/suggestive eyebrow wagging). I kind of want them to just get together, but I also want them to wait. Like I want them to get to know each other more. I want it to get to the point where she just wants him sooo bad. AASGSKDJFS. Okay I need to stop.

As always this chapter was brilliant. I am so hooked to this freaking story. I hope your finals went well and more importantly I hope you got a chance to write! Update please!!!

Author's Response: I WANT THEM TO SNOG TOO!

Seriously though I like to pace my dark/angsty/romance stories so slowly and basically torture myself until they need to be with each other. I have so much in my head for this story. Unfortunately I haven't written a new chapter for this story yet since I'm editing the sequel, but I'm definitely going to try to finish it tonight. I want it up by next week!!

Thanks again you're awesome!!


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Review #12, by keyty Lakes, Lies, and Limbo

29th March 2014:
Hi! I just love binge reading this.. But there's only one left! Oh no!

I like this chapter a lot too. I do wish there was more Ted action, but he's not the main focus of the story right now! Like I said before, I like that Andromeda isn't too different from her friends. But, I guess that's why they get along. I'm curious to see what she'll do about Marcy and Jamison. Hopefully it doesn't blow up in her face! But with her luck lately... Uh oh now I'm worried. Should I be?

I'm also liking that she'll be seeing more of Zan now. I think Zan is a good friend for her to have, it'll give her some perspective, in my opinion. Hopefully there's more Sirius coming up! You know I can't get enough of him! But, of course, he's not a main character in this story, so I won't be too disappointed if he's not as prominent as I would like (And honestly just him by himself thinking would be perfect for me. But that would be a different fic lol). Okay! I can't wait any longer! On to the next one!

Author's Response: I know I want Ted action too! Soon girl, soon!! Yeah Andromeda's friends are interesting. I'm actually going to write a three chapter story for Marcy and Jamison and I'm super excited about it. I'm going to start on that this week or next week hopefully!

Yeah Zan is one of my favorites. She's quiet but there's so much to her and I can't wait for her character to develop. I kind of imagine her as this frail little girl who's super cute and shy. I love her!

There will be Sirius soon I promise! Especially since him and Andromeda are close, I will try my best to incorporate him a lot into the story.

Thank you, your reviews are amazing!


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Review #13, by keyty The Art Of Cheating

29th March 2014:
Hi! Back again! Sooo glad my shift is slow so I can catch up on this amaazing story.

I looove this chapter. (Why do I keep stressing my vowels? Hm.) I love Ted. He's like an older, not as promiscuous (at least yet) Sirius, so obviously, I love him. I think so far you've been spot on with Andromeda. I don't think she would have ever really fallen in line with the classic Black family beliefs. There was no way she would have left the family just because she liked Ted, there obviously had to be some disconnect too. It's interesting that her friends seem to feel similarly, I wonder what will happen with them. I am a bit disappointed with her for just going with Rabastan's excuse. He's so manipulative. Erg. I hate him. But anyway, I'm so excited that there's been more interaction between Ted and Andromeda! Yay! I can't wait to see them talk more. I love how he ticks her off. Those hate to love relationships are what I live for. But Ted doesn't seem to hate her per se, so this will be interesting. I think I've been saying that a lot, but it's true! I just am so into this story.

Okay, moving on! Yay!

Author's Response: Isn't Ted wonderful? Gosh I'm obsessing over him, so not normal hahaha!

Yeah Andromeda definitely had always been the odd one out in the Black family, like Sirius. They were different from the start and people helped trigger them into who they really wanted to be, if that makes sense.

I live for those hate to love relationships too they are the best. I love the spice and drama that comes with them.

Can't wait to hear what you think about the rest!!


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Review #14, by keyty The Lady Who Drank…Too Much

29th March 2014:
Hello! So glad I found a minute to read this. I'm really loving this story!

But honestly right now I just want to shake Andromeda. Why are you making stupid choices, girl? It's like she knows she's doing something wrong but she still does it... For a minute I was afraid that Rabastan might do something bad... So I'm glad that he didn't. This story is dark enough without any of that! It's good that Andromeda realized her mistake so quickly. I thought maybe since she was still drunk she'd be okay with all of it, but luckily she got her common sense back!

I'm so excited to see how you bring her and Ted together. To be honest I always pictured him a Hufflepuff, so it's interesting to see him as a Gryffindor. And a popular one at that! It does makes sense though. I wonder what's going on with that other girl... Hmmm...

As for Sirius, he's my favorite too! But you know that already. Is it bad that I still love him here even though he's only 11? It probably is. He's just so sassy. I love it. And I like Zan. I hope we'll see more of her in the future. Maybe she'll help Andromeda branch out from her house and family? I'm just so pumped about this story! I will mention I saw I think one typo, but for the life of me I can't remember what it was. It probably wasn't that bad.

Okay I think I've been patient enough -- on to the next chapter!!

Author's Response: You're amazing!!!

Andromeda is stupid! Haha she is drunk but I guess she's not as drunk. Idk it was a spontaneous chapter honestly. I do want Rabastan drama though I'm sure about that.

I love Ted! I just picture him as this really chill guy so I tried to portray that in my story.

HAHAHA omg no sometimes I catch myself writing his character in a way that makes him seen 18 instead of 11 I just can't help it. There will be lots of Zan and I'm excited for her character to develop.

I have to read through the chapters and look for typos myself so thank you for pointing that out!!

Thanks a bunches you're amazing :))


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Review #15, by ohmymerlin A Pettigrew Party

19th March 2014:
Hello! I'm here from my review thread! :)

First of all, this is a really good first chapter! I loved the opening of it. However, I don't know if Hogwarts would have had a counsellor back in the seventies. Even though some schools did - Hogwarts was generally behind the times so...

But it is fanfiction so you can do what you want! And I love the opening far too much for you to change it!

I do have a tiny bit of criticism, but it's just grammar and spelling, really.

"That's not it," Andromeda fidgeted again.

"Seventh year, Slytherin," she motioned at her green scarf that was wrapped loosely around her neck.

"There is no 'I don't'," Andromeda crinkled her brow.

Those all should have a full-stop instead of a comma after the speech within the dialogue :)

Andromeda laughed nervously, not really laughing at all.

Although I understand what you're trying to say, this comes off as a little strange. Maybe try:

Andromeda let out a nervous laugh.

or

Andromeda laughed nervously, not finding it that funny at all.

See how it flows a bit better?

But other than that, everything was really good!

I really like the way you've written Andromeda. She seems to be well-rounded and I love reading everything in her POV.

I also really like Rabastan! Well... I don't like him seeing as he is extremely sexist and a terrible person to non-Purebloods (so does that make him racist?) but I like that you've made him that way. The way he forces himself onto Andromeda is very sad, but it's true of the way Pureblood (and some Muggle) men treat women. And he was trying to come off as complimenting her that he wants to marry her but it's just the premise for an abusive relationship - he's already giving her bruises!

So yeah, I like how accurate you've written him. But not him, if you know what I mean? :p

Also, Narcissa was written really well! I have always thought as a young girl she was very silly and naive and it was only once she married Lucius (by the way, LOVED the quote, 'at least he uses his head as much as his mirror') she became the woman we know from the books!

And aw, Sirius saving his friend! Poor Peter, they were so horrible to him! Why was he at the Astronomy Tower anyway?

I really loved how James said the serious/Sirius joke. It made me laugh really loudly. I feel like in their first year the boys would always make jokes about it but it would eventually die out and only pop up in random moments :p

So yeah, this was a great first chapter! You're a very good writer!

Feel free to request again!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: So sorry for taking so long to reply! I was finishing up my finals but your review was one of the most helpful so far!

Thank you so much for all the corrections, I will definitely brush up on those.

I'm glad you enjoyed my writing. I tried my best to portray Narcissa as a real character. I feel like people don't go in depth with her and since she's my favorite I want to give everyone a different idea of her.

The Sirius/serious jokes are awesome haha there are so many memes about them they always make me laugh so hard. It's Riddikulus ( did you catch that? wink wink).

Thanks again, you're amazing :))


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Review #16, by NASHAAD Lakes, Lies, and Limbo

18th March 2014:
yayayayya, we finally know more about Zan. Well shiet i kind of feel for Marcy, i hope Andromeda can help and not worsen their current predicament, but the dude def wants her, he didn't turn back and look at her for his own health. What can i say about Ted, that i already haven't already said? The dude is so freaking hot, i can feel the heat when i am reading his parts in particular scene's, too bad Andromeda can't see this. But I hope Andromeda grows the courage of not caring about what others think, or that Ted helps her to realize this. I hope that Zan finds a good friend in Andromeda as well and doesn't have to pull halfway suicidal stunts just to feel alive. I am wondering about why Ted smokes as well, can you give us a back story to it, like does he have a reason he smokes, or is just just purely for pleasure? Rowle sounds horrible, either he makes a complete 180 degree's and we all cheer for him or pru dumps hi real fast, b/c that's gross. wnat to really find out how their friends would react to knowing that they know/interact w/ each other, the whole idea would be really amusing, and it's something i know i can look forward to! :)!

Author's Response: MY PENGUIN YOU ARE AWESOME!!

Yeah I'm actually planning to write a three chapter story on Marcy and the Ravenclaw dude, I'm so excited. I like Marcy's character I feel like she's my favorite out of all of Andromeda's friends.

YES TED IS SUPER HOT I LOVE HIM TOO IT DRIVES ME NUTS! Andromeda will definitely grow as a character and I can't wait for that to happen. It should be interesting to write.

Can't wait for more of your reviews my penguin you motivate me to write! Thank you so much for your fantastic review!


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Review #17, by NASHAAD Cake Makes Way For Conversation

18th March 2014:
ECCKKK, ok Andromeda really needs to chill, i want to see more of their conversations but they always get out of hand b/c of her short temper, you know what they say gets rid of stress real fast (ohmygodimchokingicantbeliveijustmademyfirstsexualjoke). But erhem, that was short and sweat, i want more Ted action, and i miss Zan and Rabastian already! Im glad cake could make them have a much more productive convo, food is the key to everything, im glad you got that down nava! It's good that Ted has made his mind about Andromeda too, im hopping this leads to better and bigger things between them b/c Andromeda is slightly petty when it comes to Ted, i feel half bad for the dude. Can't wait to see what Marcy's reaction will be too Andromeda sneaking around w/ Ted at night in the kitchen after she got fried in the last chappy! Update soon, can't wait to see what unfolds next, but i hope Sirius and gang can be included too, i miss them dearly!

Author's Response: YES FOOD IS THE BEST WAY TO BOND WITH SOMEONE ESPECIALLY OVER GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICHES!!

Hahahahaha omg Nash I'm dying over here with your jokes. I promise there will be A LOT more Rabastan action in the next chapter. I'm super excited because the next chapter is finally the Quidditch match yayayay! I will probably add Sirius in the next chap, actually yes I definitely will I can't wait!!


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Review #18, by ilovegeorgeweasly101 Lakes, Lies, and Limbo

14th March 2014:
This is seriously amazingly fantastic.

I love this story!! It's completely original and fantastic and I can not WAIT FOR AN UPDATE. The character you created in Andromeda is seriously fantastic, and I can't wait for her and ted to develop their relationship more! Please update soon and finish this story to the end because it's really beautiful and it can't wait to see where it goes

10/10

Clea😊

Author's Response: Hahaha yayayay I'm so happy you're enjoying it! It honestly motivates me even more to write. Next chapter is in the queue so it should be up soon hopefully. Thanks again you're amazing :))

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Review #19, by ilovegeorgeweasly101 A Pettigrew Party

13th March 2014:
This is extremely well done and I am so excited to keep reading!! I love how original this plot is, how it explores the pureblood world, and you're doing fantastically with it so far! Can't wait to keep reading!

Clea

Author's Response: Thank you I'm so glad you like it! It makes me so happy. I hope you keep reading :))

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Review #20, by Celestialbattlefield Strangers With Cigarettes

9th March 2014:
Wow. You really have a knack for writing
:) good job

Author's Response: Thank you so much you're amazing!! :))

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Review #21, by lindslo2012 Strangers With Cigarettes

6th March 2014:
Wow once again you did a very good job.
:)
I loved this chapter from the very beginning and I feel so bad for Andromeda in this situation..
I am afraid for her for the future. I hope she turns out alright. Well, she seems to in the Harry Potter movies anyway;)
Rabastan is a bad cause for her to date... but I would be afraid if I were expected to date someone and wanted to tell him no. He could kill her I mean he was sitting there talking about killing a family of five, why wouldn't he kill Adromeda?
Well once again I applaud you on writing another addicting chapter. Please re-request for more!!!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Thank you you're amazing, your reviews honestly make me smile all cheesy, hahaha I'm so lame :P



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Review #22, by MadiMalfoy A Pettigrew Party

6th March 2014:
Hi there! You requested this review so long ago I'm sure you forgot about it but I haven't had the time to tackle such a huge chapter like this until now!

Overall there's a lot going on here but you make it work very seamlessly. This is the first Andromeda-central story I've read (yay minor characters!!) but I love it so far! Her characterization is spot-on--it's very canonical and fits with the plot very well. The plot itself seems very very plausible for that time and the age placements are very good and methodical. My only question is about Peter--is he really younger than James, Sirius, & Remus? That's what I got from here so I'm sure you did your research but I have yet to refresh mine. :P

Anywho, I really liked this first chapter! One CC I have for you is to use more colloquial language in the dialogue. Right now it's very formal and somewhat stiff between all of the Slytherins talking. Even though they were Death Eaters, etc, they're still teenagers in school; they make rude jokes, use slang, just more normal teenage terms, no matter what is looming on the horizon for them Other than that it was a very solid, very dense chapter.

Please feel free to re-request at your convenience :)
~MadiMalfoy x

Author's Response: Hi, thank you so much for the review!

Yay I'm so happy you like it! I think Peter is the youngest, I'm not sure I sort of just assumed so. I should do my research as well though haha :P

Yeah I've been trying to change that formal speech habit of mine in the later chapters. Thanks for your feedback I will definitely work on that.

Thanks again :))


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Review #23, by keyty Strangers With Cigarettes

5th March 2014:
Hooray, I found the time to read more of this awesome story! --And I just saw you actually requested a review, how funny is that!

I only saw one minor issue, and it's really just the wording: "Marcy Cartier was the most temperamental woman Andromeda had ever met, besides her sister Bellatrix," at first I thought you meant Bellatrix's sister was Marcy. It's probably just me being dumb, but an easy fix would be changing it to 'her own sister' so we know 'her' refers to Andromeda. :)

I think that this chapter flowed really well. Even though you just transition with asterisks, you have a good way of giving a finality to the scenes. So that it makes sense for them to end. I like how you can already see how different Andromeda sees herself from her house mates. I also really like how straightforward Ted is, I think he can teach Andromeda a few things about honesty! Haha. I'm excited to see how this progresses. Please stop by to re-request!

Author's Response: Yay thank you so much!

Yeah I'll have to go back and change that bit thank you for pointing it out. I'm glad you liked it. I can't wait for more interaction between Ted and Andromeda.

Thanks again dear!! :))



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Review #24, by lindslo2012 A Pettigrew Party

5th March 2014:
Hi there!
Here for your requested review.
I loved this! It was addicting to read and I am wanting to read more now.
I wonder who Andromeda is going to end up with because there is quite alot of questions as to who :)
I love the Black sisters! This is actually the first fic I have ever read that only focused on them.
Andromeda deserves to have a story written about her. I am proud of her for being the different one- the one who didn't follow her sisters and walk down the paths of a Death Eater as one. Narcissa is more of a Death Eater but I feel she mostly got involved because she was a little forced to. Bellatrix well, she's a lost cause. Lol.
My favorite part was-
"And on top of all this, Rabastan wanted to marry her! Marry! She didn’t feel the slightest bit of emotion for him whatsoever. He was cruel and aggressive in every manner that a man could be. She pulled her sleeve up over her arm and twitched in pain as she saw the dark bruise that had formed where Rabastan had gripped her arm. She covered it with her blouse, too humiliated to let it remind her of the coward that she was. If her arm hurt that bad, she couldn’t imagine how that poor Pettigrew boy was feeling right now. If only she could find a way to help him without anyone finding out."
This shows how different she is from her sisters. How bold she is and it makes me proud of her and want to give her a big hug!!!
I loved this first chapter and I hope you come back for more requested reviews! I have no CC for you because you did a very good job with everything! Can't wait to read more!!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Yayay I'm so happy you find it addicting!!
Yeah Andromeda is definitely the odd apple of the Black family, along with Sirius I would say. I definitely agree with your ideas about the Black sisters, especially how Narcissa is mostly involved because of her husband.
Rabastan is so mean for grabbing her like that. I can't wait to get into more depth about his character.
Thanks so much for your wonderful review it really made my day a lot better. :))


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Review #25, by NASHAAD The Art Of Cheating

4th March 2014:
WOWE. BTW, I AM UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, IT IS VERY UNPLEASANT TRYING TO SHUSH MY OWN UGLY SQUEALS O AS NOT TO WAKE THE SLEEPING PPL. FU*, I LOVE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE W/ TEDDY, HOT DAMMN HE SOUNDS SO FINE. YOUR IMAGINATION AND DETAIL GETS AN A+! POOR RABASTIAN, HE GENUINELY SEEMS TO CARE FOR ANDROMEDA, EVEN THO I'M ALL FOR TEDDY AND ANDROMEDA, I'D LIKE FOR RABASTIAN TO NOT BE KICKED OUT SO FAST, LOL I AM GREEDY AF. I NEED THE NEXT UPDAT LIKE NOW! BRILLIANT TITTLE AS ALWAYS DEAR!

Author's Response: HAHAHA OH MY PENGUIN YOUR REVIEWS ALWAYS MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE! Yes yes I love Teddy too I can't wait for his character to develop more over the span of the next few chapters. I'm so glad you like it. The next chapter is in the queue now and should be up by tomorrow hopefully!

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