Reading Reviews for Defiant Blood, Defiant Love
  
77 Reviews Found

Review #1, by keyty Rash Meets Reason

21st July 2014:
YAY!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY THEY ARE SO CUTE. I'm so glad Andie's plan worked! Ahh I almost melted when he (indirectly) said he was in love with her. That was so sweet. And I think Marcy can help Andie now. It would be so cool if she returned the favor to help her get with Ted. But of course Marcy has it easier. Her sister isn't a lunatic death eater. She's definitely onto something now though. It wasn't very smart of Andie to use Ted. She should have used (name of her Hufflepuff friend I'm totally blanking on) to give Jamison the note. Oh well. That'll add up to more drama so yay! I'm so scared for Marcy though. And what happens to her will be an indicator of what will happen to Andie. Uh oh. Please update soon! I can't wait to read more!!!

 Report Review

Review #2, by married to black The Art Of Cheating

20th July 2014:
Okay, can I just //GUSH// about this one scene in particular for a moment?



"Oh," he pivoted towards her, a playful look on his face. "And what do I get in return?"


"Hmm, let me think about that...I won't tell McGonagall, naturally,” she faked a smile at him"




KLDRJGLWER I squealed during this part. I mean, COME ON, their chemistry is just oozing and seeing Andromeda but all teasing and playful was just the best.

I have to say, my favorite thing about them is the dynamic that exists between them - they really just don't hold back much when interacting and they have the wittiest conversations. It's like when you're enjoying a match and keep seeing the ball bounce back between the two sides and can't help bUT FEEL SO ANXIOUS AND INTRIGUED AND JUST FLKGJDFLG.

Squealing. Endlessly.

I really love this chapter and I can tell that we will be getting more and more of them omfg yay *O*

 Report Review

Review #3, by NASHAAD When Bella Writes

3rd July 2014:
Oh nava, you little tease, i really thought a kiss scene was coming up at the end, i was getting all pumped up for it too!! This chapter was a amazing, and dear standing ovation to you for giving greedy people like me such long updates to savor!!! I really do hope ted and 'dromeda, can i call her that btw? Get along to fixing Jamison and Marcy up soon, I can't wait till they first speak to each other again, im going to revel in the pure awkwardness of that!!! Rabastian seriously needs to find a hobby that doesn't include being a terrorist every turn, poor 'dromeda to think she had to put up w/ a creature like that her whole life. He needs a reality check though, how blind and condescending is that he doesn't know how much 'dromeda is repulsed by him?? Really though who is this blond chick to Ted anyways? I hope she's just a friend of Ted's that's curious about his new obsession w/ 'dromeda, lol they ain't got time for any more complications then they already got! Hope you had fun on your trip! :)

Author's Response: Don't you love when you think a kiss scene is coming but it's actually not? Haha I love doing that to readers :P Did you know Ted actually nicknames her Dromeda? So yes, you may definitely call her that :D Jamison and Marcy coming up next my love! Rabastan is Regina George with male private parts, just sayin, hehe, but ten times worse obviously. Yeah the blonde girl is just a friend and I'll definitely get to explaining that as well :) Thanks for your lovely review my dear penguin!!

 Report Review

Review #4, by keyty When Bella Writes

2nd July 2014:
WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME SO?! Ah I'm reading on my phone and by the time the chapter ended it was almost touching my face. EVEN THOUGH YOURE MEAN I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. I love that Andromeda is finally coming to terms with her feelings for Ted. Stupid Rabastan, being a git. It's weird because irl I cuss a lot, and everyone I know does and it doesn't bother me. But since in this story people rarely cuss when he does it just makes me hate him more. I don't know if that's on purpose or not but there you go lol. I love that Zan gets her. It's sad that her "closer" friends are all so afraid of being different, like she is, so they can't trust each other. Or at least she doesn't feel that way. I hope she can at least confide in Marcy, maybe she could relate. But grrr I really hate Bella. I want to punch her!! But she ended up helping andromeda feel closer to Ted so I guess it's not that bad. But I still hate you for not letting them kiss. Gah I wish I knew what Ted was thinking! It would be interesting to have a chapter surrounding him. Also what muggle stuff did he have to leave for? Just curious lol. UPDATE THE SECOND YOU GET BACK FROM YOUR TRIP PLEASE. And also I hope you have a wonderful time wherever you're going :) okay bye

Author's Response: YAY YOUR REVIEW MADE MY DAY COMPLETE!! I miss your story so much btw and I can't wait to catch up on it after writing this review haha :p I probably should make my characters cuss more, it's just so weird because I don't cuss so I have to literally remind myself that some of these kids probably cuss haha. Andie and her friends definitely have a lot of things they need to learn to trust each other on, and they will throughout the story, hopefully :) Haha everyone thought they were going to kiss, nope nope not yett :) Thanks so much for reviewing! My trip was fantastic, I went to Nicaragua and the Caribbean and it ended too soon :( But now that I'm back I'm excited to write write write!! Thanks again :D

 Report Review

Review #5, by tia When Bella Writes

22nd June 2014:
Bella is scary. I never want to get on her bad side but then again that resulted in an Andromeda and Ted scene so maybe I should thank her for that.
YOU TEASE, I EXPECT A REAL LONG HARD NICE KISS IN THE NEXT CHAPTER TO PAY FOR THAT. Update soon and enjoy your trip!!

Author's Response: BELLA IS SCARY. I know I'm a tease I'm so sorry, I'm getting so much hate for it lol, next chapter will not disappoint you, hopefully! Thanks dear :)

 Report Review

Review #6, by tia Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

20th June 2014:
I love Marcy so much and the fact Ted is gonna help Andromeda with getting them together, I CAN'T WAIT!!! I LOVE TED EVEN MORE WITH EACH CHAPTER. That scene during that bathroom break; i squealed like a little girl. I hate you for making me act a fool at work. But i will forgive you b/c this chapter was quite long ^_^ Keep em coming with those Ted/Andromeda scenes :) on to the next one!

Author's Response: I wish I could read HPFF at work. I know you love Marcy and don't worry next next chapter will not disappoint you at all :)) Thanks for the wonderful reviews as usual my troll :)

 Report Review

Review #7, by tia Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

20th June 2014:
AH NAVA I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH!!! YOU ARE PULLING MY HEART STRINGS, DO YOU ENJOY DOING THAT???
This chapter was so funny, i was cackling like a mad woman during work. The scene w/ marcy and jamison had me falling off my chair.

Author's Response: LOLOLOL I can imagine you and Nash sitting and cackling while reading my chapters. Hehe I knew you would like that part, I was specifically thinking of you when writing it lol. Thanks love :)

 Report Review

Review #8, by GJ When Bella Writes

20th June 2014:
Amazing update! OMG I want them to kiss already :(

Author's Response: Haha thank you!! Soon my dear, soon :))

 Report Review

Review #9, by supercool When Bella Writes

19th June 2014:
luciusobsessed, you are amazing. I have read quite a few Ted Tonks/Andromeda stories, and I don't think anyone else quite captures their little nuisances the way you do. YOU ARE AWESOME. can't wait for the next update!

Author's Response: Oh thank you so much, you are so sweet. This literally made my day. I am currently working on the next chapter so I hope you decide to stick around and continue reading. You're amazing :))

 Report Review

Review #10, by nelumbogryffindor When Bella Writes

18th June 2014:
Again a good chapter..

Author's Response: Yay thank you, you're awesome :))

 Report Review

Review #11, by Lululuna A Pettigrew Party

12th June 2014:
Hello! :) So a month ago you requested a review from me, and I'm finally here to deliver - I'm so sorry for taking this long!

I really liked this first chapter and the characters you're setting up. Andromeda especially is a really wonderful main character and I like how you've done a good job of showing her internal conflicts and motivations. She clearly has all these emotional and moral confusions whirling about in her brain and I felt you wrote those very believably.

Andy is interesting here in her quiet form of rebellion and resistance, and how she contrasts with Sirius. While Sirius is more brash and bold about his hatred of Death Eater ideology - quite the Gryffindor - Andy is more secretive and sly about her beliefs, far more of a Slytherin. I like how you portrayed her more careful form of resistance and how she realizes that instead of revealing herself as a traitor by running to help Peter in front of all the other Slytherins, she holds back and preserves her own safety and helps him later on.

Narcissa is quite interesting here as well - I always saw her as quite a malleable character who is easily influenced, and that came across here with how she doesn't resist the other Slytherins, but neither does she stand up against Andromeda even when she knows Andy is acting dangerously.

Poor Peter - that whole scene was just awful. It also showed how by "sending" Peter as a spy, Sirius does have quite a bit of control over his friends, or at least that's how it came across. I can see how that could lead to some resentment from Peter in the future, and how his humiliation at the hands of the Slytherins might make Peter want to prove himself in front of them and eventually become a spy. The spell for making him lose control over his bladder was a brilliant addition, though very sad, and I could really feel his sense of desperation and humiliation. It's really mindless torture for the Slytherins, but fits with how Voldy would display his victims and put on a show of humiliating and dehumanizing them. This is just the student version of that really. You portrayed those hints of horror so well.

One thing which stood out to me was that this chapter was very dialogue-heavy. Your dialogue is very strong and was especially impactful at the beginning in jumping right into the scene, but as a personal preference I would have liked a little more description to balance it out. This chapter was great, but I think it could be even stronger with some description to really bring the scene to life. Another way to make it even stronger might be to develop even more "showing" not "telling." So instead of "telling" us that Rabastan wears being a pureblood on his sleeve, you could go even more into what qualities about him makes him seem pureblood - the sneer on his lips, the curve of his proud head, the rich stitching on his robes. So that's just one example, but maybe something to keep in mind! :)

Ooh, I also liked the little hint of Ted (or at least I hope it was him!) at the beginning. I'm looking forward to seeing how you develop the relationships and how we might see Andy in her quiet rebellion even further.

Great job, I really enjoyed this chapter! :) Feel free to re-request anytime, and I'll try to be a little faster if you do! :D

Author's Response: Hi there! No worries, sorry for taking so long to reply! I had finals so I understand how hectic life can get :/

Thank you so much, I'm really glad that you like how I portray the characters. I tried my best to stay true to what I already knew about them and just expand on that.

I will definitely work on my description in my chapters. Thank you for the wonderful advice.

You're amazing :)


 Report Review

Review #12, by lindslo2012 Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

30th May 2014:
Hey there!
Here for yet another requested review!!! Yay!
I read this whole lovely chapter and let me just say... it was sooo good. Oh my goodness. :)
When they went to Hogsmeade I held my breath because I was nervous what was about to happen. eek.
And what happened was lovely. I loved the little piece about her journal, that was so cool. And how her friend snogged that guy Bruce... oh boy.
Poor Andromeda has alot on her hands and I am afraid it will get worse before it gets better. I thought it was so cute when she wrote the stuff about Ted. And how embarrased she was when he read it. I would've been the same way.
Rabastan is really making me a bit mad. He is a jerk for hurting her the way he did and just brushing it off with an apology like it was nothing. That little movement of his was signs of the future to come if she stays with him (which we all know she doesn't).
I am sure that hurt her when Ted said what he did on the Astronomy tower. but what he said did have some truth in it. She is kind of bad at standing up for herself.
Anyways, I can't wait until your next chapter! Hurry up and update!!! :D
Until next time,
-Linds

Author's Response: Yay! I always look forward to your reviews!!
It was finally time for some drama and who better to get it started than Marcy? It will definitely get worse for Andromeda before it gets better, I guess that's how it always is :( Rabastan will get on your nerves in the future chapters too; he shall get much much worse. Yeah Ted needs to just tell her the truth because nobody else will and that shows that he really does care about her and he sees the potential she has in her. Thank you so much, next chapter is in the queue :))


 Report Review

Review #13, by lindslo2012 Hide The Bruises, Hide The Secrets

20th May 2014:
OH MY GOSH!
I am basically jumping for joy right now. Ted and Andromeda talked! They finally had a completely full conversation and he is so freakin sweet. I am so excited for what is to come.
But oh boy I loved the adrenaline from reading about the fight between Lestrange and Ted. You wrote it so well and it made so much sense.
I loved that Ted stood up for Andromeda even though he probably might have gotten her into trouble somehow- she deserved to be stood up for for once. Rebastan is such a git and I have a feeling that it is going to just get worse!
I hope he doesn't hurt her even more but I am afraid that is a possibility especially if he finds out what exactly is going on. I am sooo nervous for her to come out and stand up for herself because I know that soon she will be rejected by people that she cares about.. :(
Sadly we know that by the HP books.. Andromeda is not welcomed in the family anymore and that is just so sad but that's the way it is. I am sad for Zan, what a heartbreaking story :( I actually couldn't see that coming and I thought she was just a quiet person but now I know something bad has happened to her. :(
Anyways, great job as usual! :D
i hope you put more spots in your thread soon so I can snag another!
I hope you come swing by my thread again soon so I can keep reading this! It makes me want to write a story about the Marauders eventually and thats saying alot because I used to not be interested in the stories before Harry's time. Way to go ;)
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: YAY! I love that you're jumping for joy!! It makes me super happy haha. I know it's about time I gave them decent time frame of conversation. I just love the idea of Rabastan and Ted hating each other, it makes it even more intense and dramatic, especially since Andromeda has this new relationship she's building with Ted.

I've been so busy with midterms and finals I feel so bad! I'm going to finish up my reviews today and hopefully have all slots open!!

Please write a story about the Marauders I will be your number 1 fan I swear!! Haha I love them, especially James/Lily OMG I DIE.

Thanks so much you're amazing :))


 Report Review

Review #14, by TidalDragon Lakes, Lies, And Limbo

20th May 2014:
Hello again!

So you've asked primarily about characters and there are plenty here to cover so I'll just focus almost exclusively on that.

Andromeda: She remained at her introspective best, though it was refreshing to see her reach outside her house genuinely this time, making the effort to make a real connection with Zan. I thought you did a good job writing what I think is supposed to be the beginning of her feelings for Ted - noticing him more, considering who he hangs around with, etc.

Zan: Let's be honest...Zan is weird. But I still like her somehow so far. I'm a little concerned about her mental health, but there's something Luna-esque about her that I find intriguing. She seems quite a bit more dark than Luna, but nevertheless I like her. I'm interested to see how she develops (perhaps a true friend for Andromeda if you plan on having her existing group turn on her?).

Ted: I'm getting that he's supposed to be one of those cocky, cool-as-you-like kind of guys. But at the same time, so far, I don't really see why Andromeda would fall for him. My impression of him so far has developed from Mr. Cocky-Casual to seeming just plain mean at times. Realistic? Sure. Likable? I guess for some...

The Gang of Girls: You're still doing a good job keeping them differentiated which is nice. This chapter got a little more gossip-focused, which I suppose is natural, but the main thing that stood out to me as good about it is how you still took real care to identify individual reactions by people in the group that give us an idea of how they're different and who they are at their core.

Overall, I think the character development is going well, particularly with Andromeda. I'm not sure how you're going to bring Ted around to her from staying in her POV, but based on how well you've handled the rest of the characters, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Hope this helps!

Author's Response: Hi again!! Thanks so much for reviewing!

Andromeda is still coming out of her sheltered bubble she's created for herself, and I feel like Zan is the first step in a way. They're more similar than they think. She will develop in future chapters. Ted isn't really cocky, he just subconsciously has that personality with Andromeda because she's a Slytherin and there's a stigma about being a Slytherin. When you get to know him more he's super laid back :)

Thanks so much again, you're awesome :))


 Report Review

Review #15, by ohmymerlin Strangers With Cigarettes

20th May 2014:
Hey there! I'm so sorry for the massive delay on this!

First of all, I love reading Andromeda! I think you've written her really well and I think you've gotten her personality very accurate!

However, I did notice a few mistakes but they're very easy fixes!

Hey guys, I've started seeing a therapist because I think my mental stability is at stake.

I think that should either be in quote marks 'Hey guys, I've started seeing a therapist because I think my mental stability is at stake.' or italics Hey guys, I've started seeing a therapist because I think my mental stability is at stake. to really show that it is her thought process. I think this is just a personal opinion of mine though!

Shutup Lestrange - should be, "Shut up, Lestrange" Shut up is two words and there should be a comma when someone's name follows.

and hand changed it again during their sixth year to Pru.

You've just mistyped 'had' as hand in this sentence ;)

"Seriously Andromeda," Marcy said...

"Seriously, Andromeda," Marcy said… This just needed a comma after 'Seriously'. I can't remember the exact rule at this moment but I know you generally need a comma before someone's name is in the speech. (You'll have to excuse me, I'm a bit sick at the moment so my brain is kind of like gudshvbhfbkvsbvj :P)

"Don't you worry Andromeda,"

"Don't you worry, Andromeda," Again, this is the same rule as before!

Also, I felt like Andromeda was being way too 'Slytherins are evil'-esque. I know she feels distant from them, but I feel like you're kind of falling into the stereotype that all Slytherins are evil and I understand why Andromeda would think that but I feel like she would still try to come up with excuses for them as they are her family, friends, and family friends.

However, that's just my opinion! Feel free to ignore it!

I also like Ted. He seems like a really intriguing character and I can't wait for them to interact more and more! :D

Anywho, this was a really good chapter! If none of this makes sense, feel free to PM me and I'll try to explain it better because although it makes sense to me, it might not make sense to anyone else (this is why being sick sucks) :P

Feel free to request again!

- Kayla :)

Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I will definitely go back and fix those errors. I have to have one of my days where I just sit and proofread my stories haha :P

 Report Review

Review #16, by NASHAAD Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

20th May 2014:
OMG, nava you kill me. THIS HAS GOT TO BE MY MOST FAVORITE CHAPTER BY FAR. I LOVE HOW ANDORMEDA IS SO MUCH MORE AWARE OF TEDDY IN HER SURROUNDINGS. AND LOL AT THE DUMBLEDORE AND MARCY SNOGGING, I WENT INTO FITS OF LAUGHTER. RABASTIAN NEEDS TO TAKE TWO STEPS TOT HE SIDE HE IS REALLY WEARING MY PATIENCE THIN, I HOPE IN THE FUTURE ANDROMEDA TELLS HIM OFF AND CURSES THE FOOL. AND TED PROVES HIS JEALOUSY TIME AND TIME AGAIN BY DIGGING AT ANDROMEDA'S RELATIONSHIP W/ RABASTIAN, BOY IS THIRSTY FOR HER ATTENTION. BUT TED IS SO FREAKING HAWT, HIS PERSONAILTY AND SENSE OF HUMOR ARE SO CHARMING. CAN WE PLEASE GET A SCENE W/ HIM AND TH BLOND CHICK SO ANDROMEDA CAN GET ALL JELLY AND SHIZZ! ACKKK THEY MAKE ME GO INTO FITZ OF SPAZZING. I LOVE AND THANK YOU ENDLESSLY, AND AM GIVING YOU STANDING OVATION FOR WRITING OVER 9000 WORDS! YOU DA BEST! AND THEN THAT TID BIT W/ SIRUIS, GURL U DONG IT BIG. LMFAO AT JAMES AND HIS CONSISTENT PREDICAMENTS W/ LILLY! IT'D BE INSANELY KIND OF SOMEONE TO TELL HIM TO EASE OFF B/C HE WONT BE GETTING ANY ACTION W/ LILLY FOR A LONG TIME! POOR ,ARCY SHE WAS REALLY INTO JAMISON, IT SUCKS THAT THEY CAN'T WORK OUT B/C OF THE STUPID LIE. GOOD THING ANDROMEDA AND TED ARE COMING TO THE RESCUE. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT THEY GOT COOKED UP! BUT WHAT IM SIRUIS EXCITED FOR THE MOST IS WHEN ALL THEIR FRIENDS FIND OUT THEY ARE FRIENDS. NOT AT ALL HAPPY I PRESUME. YOUR WRITERS BLOCK DEFF PAID OF NAVA. UPDATE SOON LOVE!

Author's Response: HAHAHA I LOVE YOU! Yeah she's pretty aware of him now that she's getting to know him better. She's finally reaching out of her bubble, very very slowly might I add. Marcy is crazy. I was having writer's block with her chapter 3 but I finally updated so I hope you like it. I'm not sure how I feel about it just yet :/ Isn't Ted perf? He's a total babe lol and he's so chill about everything, and obviously jealous and not scared to tell Andromeda to her face. Haha I had to add in a bit of SIrius, how could I not? Poor James, still has to wait a few years *sighs desperately* I WILL TRY TO UPDATE SOON MAYBE IN A WEEK OR SO AFTER FINALS!!

 Report Review

Review #17, by NASHAAD Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

20th May 2014:
OMG, nava you kill me ( O-

Author's Response: Nooo don't die! D:

 Report Review

Review #18, by forevergryffindor Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

18th May 2014:
Really a good read..
Please update soon.

Author's Response: Thank you so much!!
I will definitely try to update soon :))


 Report Review

Review #19, by Jessie Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

17th May 2014:
This is the first story I've ever read of this pairing and omg its amazing! I'm hooked, can't wait for the next update! I hope their relationship progresses soon, Andromeda and Ted are perfect together. *sigh* I wonder what's going to happen next

Author's Response: Yay!! I'm so happy you enjoyed it! It was a spontaneous write honestly. Thank you so much for your review and I'll definitely try and update soon :))

 Report Review

Review #20, by lindslo2012 Cake Makes Way For Conversation

16th May 2014:
Hey! Here for another requested review! I loved this chapter as I have all your others.
I am really starting to like Andromeda alot now because of the way she is kind of finding herself and realizing that she is not one of the other 'Slytherins'. She is her own person despite the fact that one of the most psycho future Death-Eaters is her own sister and her potential boyfriend is a loser Death Eater too. But I know how it all will play out with Ted so I am happy. But even though she thought she was saying too much to Miss Faye I think it is probably healthy that she came out and told someone what is going on to get it off of her chest. Miss Faye is very understanding and now Andromeda will trust her a little farther now that she discovered she was a Slytherin.
I am still afraid for everything that will happen though in between now and when she is happily with Ted because I know it will be no easy road.
Speaking of him- that was such a cute conversation they had and like previous reviewers it seemed that they might just snog. Lol.
I guess we will see! I can't wait to read on!
Come back for another review ASAP!
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hi!! Thank you again for another fantastic review!! Yes Andromeda is definitely figuring out who she is and it's causing a lot of changes in her attitude and behavior. She's slowly learning to open up to Miss Faye because when you don't have someone to open up to you eventually cave in. Their condo was hard for me to write because I didn't want to it to be too personal so I kept having to re-write stuff haha.

Thanks again you're amazing :))


 Report Review

Review #21, by TidalDragon The Art Of Cheating

13th May 2014:
Alrighty! Dropping by to fill your re-request!

First off, Rabastan really is such a Slytherin isn't he? He can even get into the heads of other Slytherins. Even skeptics like Andromeda. I was glad you painted her surrender to his sophistry in terms of tired resignation though as opposed to actual acceptance. I think the character you've created is too smart for that, even if they have been lifelong friends.

At the same time, you can ALMOST feel for Rabastan. I do believe he actually cares about Andromeda, it's just that he's too far down the road to darkness to step back and he's more invested in "The Cause" than he is in his feelings for her. The slow blackening of a heart I suppose.

Ted Tonks seems positively irritating thus far, albeit in a good way. He certainly has a mischievous non-chalance about him and is challenging Andromeda at almost every turn. Still, I'd like to see them move beyond the banter at some point in the future. They got close for a moment here, but didn't quite make it. I suppose it takes time given that they don't see much of one another for sustained periods of time (understandably).

In terms of pace, this chapter felt a bit sluggish to me. Perhaps it was meant only to deepen the connection developing between Andromeda and Ted, but for me it didn't feel strictly necessary. Perhaps if I were to read on I would gain an appreciation for its place in the larger narrative, but that's just my initial instinct (for what it's worth). I also felt the word choice wasn't as strong in this chapter. You seem to tend toward a more minimalistic approach to language in your writing (which I'm certainly not suggesting you change), but you do occasionally use stronger, more evocative phrasing in Andromeda's inner thoughts and that was less prominent here (to my chagrin). Just something to consider going forward.

Keep on keeping on!

Author's Response: Hi!

Yes Rabastan is conniving and Andromeda is somewhat people pleasing so she will just agree with him to silence him. He does care for her but he's definitely a lost child and The Cause is more important to him.

I love Ted. He's so cute and he goes out of his way to piss her off but he's also just curious because he's never come across anyone like her. They get closer throughout the next chapters. I'm an angst lover so I can't help the bittering here and there.

This chapter was honestly just part two of her detention. I originally wanted it to be a part of the previous chapter but then it was too long. I think my writing was like this because I remember I was experiencing some writer's block but I'm trying to shake it off but for some reason it's really bugging me. Maybe because school is ending and I'm constantly facing exam after exam. Hopefully it clears out.

Thanks again :))


 Report Review

Review #22, by Celestialbattlefield Don't Let Anyone Read Your Journal, Except For The Boy You Like

13th May 2014:
thanks a bunch. great way to get away frm all the crazy people in my life who are practically shoving revision down their throats.exams. die...anywho.. i really enjoyed the chap an dear bella and rudolphus. they must certainly go at it like animals ;0 traumatised.
with all this journal bussiness what is the diff between a journal and a diary?

Author's Response: Aww this makes me so happy! Trust me writing this story is also a way of getting away from everything. So about the journal and the diary, idk I guess they are the same thing but in a way she's not really using it as a diary and writing detailed entries, she's just jotting down phrases and thoughts so I guess it could kind of be a sporadic journal in a way. Sorry if I'm not making any sense haha. Thank you again for your review and not just this review, but all of them. Thanks for sticking with me throughout my story. I can't explain how much it means to me :))

 Report Review

Review #23, by lindslo2012 Lakes, Lies, And Limbo

12th May 2014:
Hey there!
Here for your requested review and I am so sorry about the long wait. I have to use my phone to get on the internet and it's not the best... anyways...
your story is just getting better and better.
I would have to say my favorite part is when she is at the lake with Zan. I am starting to like Andromeda more and more. It is crazy to think a sister of Bellatrix is thinking the way she is.. but it is entirely awesome as well that she is actually being an independent Slytherin and starting to go her own way.
Yes, they def have high expectations as Slytherins and that would be hard to live up to I bet.
Marcy's story was very cute. I liked how you described everything and the end of her story made me laugh most of all.
I just love how unique your story is and it's very good too. I am still hooked and I hope to be able to read more soon. You are very talented! I don't see any errors at all!
Please come back and re-request!
Until next time,
-Lindsey

Author's Response: Hey, please don't apologize, the fact that you even reviewed shows how amazing you are!! :)

I love her interactions with Zan. I have to make more of those because she does end up becoming very close with her. She is becoming much more independent and figuring herself out along the way as well. She's finally starting to listen to her heart but she's not quite ready for others to know, besides a select few.

I actually have a spin off story about Marcy in progress. It's about her summer trip where she met Jamison. She's an odd child and I love odd children :P


Thanks so much again you're amazing :))


 Report Review

Review #24, by marauderfan The Art Of Cheating

11th May 2014:
Hi! Here with your requested review and an apology that it took me so long!

Hm. Rabastan is very manipulative... and sneaky with his words. I don't think he even denied that what she heard was true, he just attempted to defend himself for it. Andromeda is caught in a weird situation with him.

haha, Ted's behaviour at the detention was funny, I love that no one else even questioned that he was sitting up at McGonagall's desk pretending to be in charge. He's very laid-back, and it's entertaining just how much that gets under Andromeda's skin. I like the way you write these two.

Ok, I do have to question the spell Ted uses on his essay though. Last time it was used in this story, it was a copying charm and fairly believable that a charm exists to copy lines of text. But to have a spell that writes an entire paper for you? Why did Harry and Ron never use this for any of their essays? I don't know about this, it seemed a little too convenient for me. But that's the only thing that stood out as slightly off to me.

This is a great chapter! Well done :)

Author's Response: Hi, no worries, thank you for reviewing!!

Rabastan is manipulative but he does actually care about Andromeda. He'll do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and that's good and bad in this case.

Ted is so cute. He wants to get under her skin and he knows just what to do! It's really fun writing their interaction because she's not prejudice but she still acts like it around him.

You know I never thought about that. Thank you so much for pointing it out. Now that I'm thinking about it it really makes no sense. Everyone in Hogwarts could have basically written every essay with that spell. I definitely have to go back and change it to another copying charm. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POINTING THAT OUT! Hahaha I was reflecting my own laziness for writing essays :P

Thank you for your review, it was very helpful :D


 Report Review

Review #25, by TidalDragon The Lady Who Drank…Too Much

10th May 2014:
Hi there!

This chapter was definitely a bit different from the previous ones. You certainly threw off the shackles a bit in terms of characters other than Andromeda and we got to see more dimensions of people like Xia, Marcy, and even Rabastan. At the same time, you kept a lot of the similarities up with confronting dark themes from the out. Zan for example, I took it engages in self-harm? My advice on characterization would be to find a way to create this level of dimensionality in the major players without the alcohol now that you've broken through a bit with them. It's a positive in the sense that you've given us more of them, but a challenge in the sense that now there's pressure to keep letting them shine through with that added depth.

In terms of the writing itself, I thought you made it appropriately visceral for groups of intoxicated people. The Slytherins were all less stiff and the conversation flowed much more freely which allowed me to get a better idea of who they really are (at least at this point).

Before even reading your A/N though, my favorite part of the chapter was indeed Sirius's appearance. He injected some much-needed levity to the situation at that point in the chapter before nicely bringing the chapter back around to the war Andromeda is fighting within herself. I think you did a nice job on his characterization at his age (which is presumably before things got TOO bad for him at home), though that might be something you are careful with if the story features him beyond this year.

Keep up the good work!

Author's Response: Hi :)

I tried to develop a lot of the characters while introducing new ones as well. It was fun writing them and I'm definitely going to work on improving their characters. I actually have a spin off story on one of the friends, Marcy.

Sirius is amazing. It wouldn't be the same without him, especially because Andromeda and him connect on a level that no one else can understand due to their situation.

Thanks so much for the wonderful review! :))


 Report Review
If this is your story and you wish to respond to reviews, please login

<Previous Page  Jump:     Next Page>